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The layering effects on the film is very effective - for the zine - I think you should keep it handmade and then scan it in to stay true with your concept. The orange and blue are striking colours and are very consistent with your theme. Continue to experiment!

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Play with the woven cover and see if it fits. For the narrative of the book, test to see if certain images need a quote or information which allows the reader to gain a nugget of insight into the Sari Sari and London store connection.

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The posters design is really fun and the concept it strong! try to experiment with the layout by drawing it out on paper first before printing it out (this will help you have more options and decide which one works better) - I love the connection it has with your homeland! Continue to grow your project!

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Great concept! The game design is striking and it’s different way of interacting with art. I think narrowing it down to help us understand who your target audience is - perhaps look into world celebrations so you have a running theme each month? (like black history month, feminism etc)

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It's a new form of way to interact with artworks in a digital space, because right now there is like a barrier  between the artwork we see digitally and us, with your game there is an engagement and connection

Purple text on top of black is hard to read, however, purple on white is fine

Great visuals and concepts, excited to see!

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Love the mock-ups and fantastical world-building. Maybe there is some over-complication with the 'passports', 'unlocking', and 'crystals'? Step back and look at what is essential to the art-sharing experience - define the core objectives of the game. A great amount of work, and thorough prototyping user experience.

Anti-capitalist, feminist game design references from Oopie.

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it reminds me of Habbo!!!!!!

its a really cool idea, sounds very accessible for artists and a very good tool for visualizing galleries and curationnn

i like how u are ticking a lot of aspects and difficulties that artists face and giving solutions and facilities for it

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For the storyline, you could focus on 3 themes: a lot of Genz experience and then try to break free from that. You can go from something universal (social expectations) to something specific (generational trauma).

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cinematography and technical skills are on point (as always)

i think the tiktok sequence for example makes it clear that it is targeted at gen z

love the 3d runningn shots

even if it's a product, i think that your project can stand out through emotional depth

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Very powerful!

I think your work is very strong and saturated with emotions. I would add some more elements that our society associates with genZ and what gen Z finds familiar so they can relate to it even more. I want to feel like this campaign is familiar and directed to me a bit more in a way.

Great editing, excited to see more

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Really great concept - the door motif is very strong - I think you should explore this aspect. You could do a location scouting of quirky doors around London whilst documenting the audio when you see a door that you like. But your moldboard intrigued me the most - can't wait to see when you produce!

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cool concept, i think it's a really relevant exploration in relation to how we explore our own inner communities

filming date sounds like it's too close to the deadline, maybe you should ocnsider doing it earlier?

the moodboard you showed was really strong becasue it conveyed a very specific vision (dark academia a little bit?)

i'm intrigued to see how the use of teh doors as a motif will play out

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I feel like each inspiration you show us is a crucial element of the final outcome. Each of the visuals brings so much dimension to the concept and I can picture how it will look at in the end. Exciting and fresh!

inner dialogue maybe? what is that person thinking about the other person? like in Fleabag?

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A film that came to mind when you explained your project.

Scenes from a marriage by Ingmar Bergman, a simple very long film that explores realism and the breakdown of a marriage. It's a classic and could link to your project when thinking about dialogue and visuals

So much lovely potential with the origami b-roll, cutting to the folding paper and cutting back to the conversation.

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Love the magnetic cityscape, was really fun and easy to create. Could be fun to develop that into an Augmented reality experience maybe???

For recording the experience in Jakarta, you could look into live streetcam cctv, but there might not be any. Collaborating with your parents is also a really nice idea!

The drawings that participants make, it could be nice to collect them and use them to propose a billboard of some kind with all the collected materials.

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The activities were fun and interactive.

MAybe you can find TFP collaborators on assisting work on Insta. There are FB group for film communities who are willing to build portfolio.

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Although I did not get to play all the games, I could see the joyful interaction of our peers playing with them! It was great to have various games being shown - very nostalgic and mindful about your target audiences! You created such a vibrant atmosphere!

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look at the different locations to see where more adults interact with it.

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The idea is really smart (bring back speaking through phone cups). It translates well in city settings, maybe make mockups of what a city installation could look like?

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So coool. I loved the drawing of you or your fav person, really fun. If you were to put it somewhere in a train station or so I would definitely contribute and have fun with it- look up from my phone and engage.

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It is such an exciting project; the activities were so much fun and clear, and everyone was having so much fun!! Maybe you could put instructions for some activities such as the 'talking one' as there are specific conditions for it to work effectivley. You should be super proud of yourself cuz its such an effective project!! 🙌🏻💕

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FUN!

Interactive, creative, effective, loved it (where are the two missing puzzle pieces??😭)

is there an underlying theme to all the different activities?

check out work from interaction design arts students from LCC - they do similar fun interactive stuff

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Amazing work you can really tell that you care a lot about your project, everyone can see how important this is for you, its such a cute and wholsesome project, you are doing so much better than you think!! Its gonna be so good and invoke nostalgia!! 💕🫶🏻

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Very unique idea for a store pop up.

really well target to your audiences and to share your cultures with other people.

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Intentional and well thought out, I love the inclusion of textures and different papers used.It Could include raised text on the front cover for dimension too ?

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very sentimental project!

look at textures and printing textures

scented paper? maybe of a popular nostalgic sweet

your publication can consist of different thicknesses of paper depending on what is needed

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very well targeted at your audience

you can tell it's really passionate because of your constant testing and prototyping using physical mediums

clearly linked to the brief

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it shows that every aspect of ur outcome is very well thought of and has not only and aesthetic reason but is very conscious towards what you are talking about.

strong community element

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTSlzfqYUK8&list=PLtwF7pVtpuydhTuPrkVIvOFT-LhVQaww3&index=2

this is kind of random but it reminded me of this bit of a movie lol

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I see that you have done a lot of research and which makes your prototype very coherent. The papers and materials give me an insight into how this publication will look like and I'm very excited. I would love to see some pictures of people who you interviewed :))

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the substance: offers a good reference of a good balance between funny and serious/strong message. Has a feminist theme just like your film. cant wait to see how it comes out:)

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Saint Maud

Southwark Council - women safety advert

Shoot as much as possible, play with how to not show.

Do we need to see the murder?

Tasteful depiction please

Ending needs rethink

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I love the ideas and the character that you created.

for production maybe consider the actors wearing the piece.

Not sure about the outcome. Is it a short film ? and what Genre?

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You can see the passion in creating the monster - it's great to see you having fun experimenting, and it's a very clear concept. Keep going!

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The idea is really well thought out and interestingly done. I feel like you've done a good job personifying an experience.

Could include women's safety devices as part of the "Props".

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I love how thoughtful you are about the interactivity and the immersiveness of the book. Your are actually such a good illustrator! Even if I'm not a kid I'd be intrigues to nvigate the book.

Was wondering if you'd like to print several copies so as to distribute it? maybe riso could be an option jsut because it is cheaper and has a cool look?

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I love the cover of your book. It's so cute and perfectly caters to your target audience. I also love the book's tangibility and interactivity. I love how you are catering to children with SPLDs and that the book has inclusivity at its heart. It's such a cute concept, and I can't wait to see the final outcome. Reminds me a bit of "fairy magic book" by Shirley Barber 💙🫶🏻

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The front cover is beautiful! I'd love to see an extract of the book to hear the tone and style of the writing. If you know any 7-11 year olds maybe test it on them? Check out work and play scrapstore in Tooting for recycled and sustainable materials.

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It is nice to see the prototype of the book functionality as a draft version.

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Love this concept and idea! I love seeing your mock-up and experiments - Pop-ups are fun and relate to your target audience. Since it's about sustainability - think about your paper choices - look into G.F SMITH or check out ual digital printing and see if they have any paper scraps you could use for the detailed pop-ups!

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good idea to add interactive aspect to the book! it makes it more engaging for ur target audience

reference:

Geronimo Stilton book series

there's one book where u can rub the pages and they have different scents idk it could be a cool ideaaaa

also it has cool illustrations

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I like the direction of the app. Giving the audience trust would be the vital part of the part as well. Maybe thinking about authenticating the artworks from the app side if the price starts to get into higher range like rare collectors items and stuffs would be helpful. And also inspo for horizontal layout scrolling as well.

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Nice to see a physical prototype of the book!

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Clear ideas and communication!

maybe you could categorize the products like ' most popular items' or add likes to the images or maybe ideas like bidding( Just an idea)

I like the grids separating the items

maybe work on the layout

Great Work !

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Good proof of concept, nicely designed. Play around with the "gallery" layout.

Already got some great features, ie. Chat and colour coding.

"Curator's picks" feature?

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It is well-structured and easy to navigate. I know you mentioned that it is a platform for Polish students to sell their works; however, what highlights my attention is how accessible it is for references. Your interface provides the artist’s name, publish date, color palette, keywords, etc. That helps Polish artists secure their works and not get stolen from other people. Love that!

It is well thought out; great work! :D

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I love the concept, sound genuinely useful and smartly targeted at your audience. I actually found a similar platform for Spanish artists, in case it's a useful reference for you to have:) https://www.smellslikeart.org/en/main

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Discover Smells Like Art, the platform for all artists and their works of art. Spread your talent in our online art gallery.

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Seeing the prototypes of the app is off to a great start! You considered your Polish audience and the layout of each page - consider the accessibility elements like the typography and also look at the way referencepoint: https://www.reference-point.uk showcase their books online.

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The app looks really professionally designed. It could be fun to make some type of trailer for it showing the uses to make the outcome more interactive? I'd also like to know more about how the recommended algorithm would work!

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i like the collagy look of the "logo?" : it gives it the apperience that u will get variety of mediums and types of artwork you can find in the app

it made me think of a more curated, sophisticated etsy type of thing

cool platform for exposure for artists!!!!

how will you filter who gets to post their work there

i think is cool that the artists can have an about section bc it gives it more personal one to one aspect with the artist and may influence why someone will or will not get a piece and also people will not just get it bc is like visually nice...

it would be cool to have an in person events too!!!

u can check out @diy_market on ig

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Very nice progress with the project!!

Clear visual language

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Could be really cool if you take it to the extreme of kitsch in an almost ironic way.

Secondlife is a game that has been around for a while that you can live a life in your virtual avatar, could be a good point of inspiration

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You're off to a great start but I'm slightly confused with the concept and your final outcomes - I suggest making storyboards to create your narrative before going onto blender and also think about the tone - do you want to go cheesy? do you want to go romantic?

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Anne de Vries' work offers access to our entanglement with technology; its material and symbolic origins, its influence on our sense of social reality, its socio-political implications, and its future potentials.

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DIS Images is a fully functioning stock image library. Dedicated to manipulating the codes and trends in stock photography, DIS Images invites artists to create alternative scenarios and new stereotypes, thus broadening the spectrum of lifestyle portrayal.

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can i ask why the meta?

not that is a request but in the case, what is the kind of "problem" you want to solve or your purpose of creating this platform...

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Really unique concept! I think you should really lean in to the space thing. If you maybe take the super campy romance tropes and put them in space it would be so fun. Like Sabrina carpenter's VMAs performance 2024 would be such a fun reference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMIXOmlGpw4

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Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please / Taste / Espresso (Live From The 2024 MTV VMAs)

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LOVE the music!

Super cheesy which fits with the fantastical environments.

Add "feature" taglines to sell your app/service, really push the trailer to convince the audience this is one to get the meet thr person on yiur cosmic dreams!

Great proof of concept!

Good visuals.

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The music choice in the trailer is very effective and gives the vibe of an intense dating show trailer. Inspired by 90s rom coms you could have a really intense voice over to create drama or something as dramatic as the starwars written intro. Super fun project !!

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at the moment I think I am perceiving it as campy

think about its tone, you could have it be campier or switch to more intimate??

the Blender prototypes are looking great!

right now there are a lot of new dating platforms, maybe curating a list of trailers / commercials would be useful to find patterns, ideas... and then see how you can subvert them?

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Choosing the direction of storytelling teaching is a good idea. If I were still a student, I would be more interested in learning chemistry because of this.

Your visual is more formally structured, while your script is more child-like. I felt like finding a middle ground for both sides would be suitable, especially for the target audience of A-level, which often doesn’t want to be perceived as children anymore.

Great work! Excited to see the outcome :D

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You are an amazing writer. The story is super cool! The way you use molecules for connections! I love it. It reminds me of the way Casablanca uses the characters as a metaphor for countries. It's a really strong premise with gorgeous visuals!

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This is a very strong narrative - after hearing the introduction from your script, I can understand why we need this. You considered your audiences, which is great since this is a niche topic. Consider your collaborators - find illustrators and graphic designers to enhance your project!

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I love the way you have made an interesting story about chemical compounds; this is a super creative and unique take on teaching methods! I could definitely see this being implemented in education in the future. You could find a way to cater to your audience's age a bit more by changing some of the wording in the script. The visuals are super effective and remind me of ballet sets, i.e. nutcracker set through time. You could have a look in the Young V&A as they have some set designs. Super cool concept!! ⭐️

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The molecular visualisations are interesting. I like the chemistry collaboration. I wonder if you could access real microscopes to get footage of real life molecules.

I agree with justyna that a bedtime story may not be appropriate for the audience being young adults. Maybe just a story?

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I like the 3D visuals and excited to see the outcome. However, it would be nice to see some characters with voiceovers and maybe you could use VFX in the background.

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Voiceover could be a good addition - maybe record some thoughts around the concept from the people playing music, passers by, etc., to weave a narrative about your concept (where people meet)

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Great visuals.

Start recording rough voice-overs and lay them on to a timeline. So you can begin to visualise your script.

Unifying a visual lanagauge.

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From just looking at the prototypes, I perceive a concept of "education as storytelling". Which I love! Really ambitious - you will definitelly need to collaborate consistently with other creatives. All the visuals are really interesting, I wonder what they will look like when they get unified?

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I love the idea and the graphics! The 3D models brings it to life. I think the 3D models and the style of work make it very engaging.

It might be good to look at fantasy children's films that have that art style included. If you want to create a layered fantasy design/ set, it might be worth looking at the Phantom of The Opera set, for example, or other set designs in theatre.

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If the vibe of the music is similar throughout, I don't think you should be concerned that it will disturb the public. I recommend Nujabes's music, which has a calming vibe with few words.

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Love your way of working, testing technicalities to see what's possible.

Play with perspectives and gaps in the parallax - optical illusions.

Channel 4 (perspective) ident.

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Good proof of concept.

Develop the cinematography.

Test out the sound recording kit, different mics, capture the street ambience.

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Although you said that you wouldn't be doing night shots, I think that the one you showed looked really cool and with just a little colour grading it would be so "cinematic":0

Nice music choice for the first clip. Found the overlays super interesting, I wouldn't have guessed it was an afterthought - would be interesting to see it in different shots as well? could be like a visual motif?

Only thing I would say is at the moment the theme is not very apparent, but obviously is early stages soooo keep going!!

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The overlay of the black shadowed figure is very ambiguous and striking but allows your audience to make assumptions about your narrative. The fabric motif is very strong, and I could see this as the focal point, but perhaps put more focus on the location - consider doing a location recce in a certain area.

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Love the colours and sound used in video, the framing is super nice and effective, has a very joyful feeling. The saturation is effective so you could use that as a style in your project. The fabric motif is very effective too! Maybe you could have a voice-over or subtitles to express the concept a bit clearer; also, including diegetic sound could be cool, too; nice work so far!! 🙌🏻

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The shadowy transparent DJ is a nice touch to communicate your idea.

It's quite effective as just a virtual experience, if you're having trouble trying to make this happen IRL, with development it could work as a piece of standalone video work.

The flag/logo/fabric could be worked on to create a kind of flag of a 'society' or 'nation' for the project.

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The colours are gorgeous and work really well with the compositions! It's a little hard to tell what the concept is without further explanation, but you've captured a cool vibe. It could be evoking gentrification because the figure looks a bit like Banksy.

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cool idea for a prototype, it brought your idea to life very clearly without having to do and actual dj set test.

you could try the same but with different locations and explore how angles for the shot can vary in style depending on the location.

is this going to be done during the day or night?

is the film ur only outcome?

idea.. screenprint on the fabric? make a logo or sign that then people can recognize in the future

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It showcases a new angle of a traditional painting, where you are just looking at it; this allows the audience to interact with it and a space for them to interpret more than "what they see."

It would be better to have the real-life version of the painting and the AR digital version to show that they are different. This would strengthen your message.

Great work! :D

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The music was great. Really liked the editing and framing, good composition with the blue.

I want to see more!!

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The paintings are amazing and the colours are so vibrant, it really works well with your theme, i remember from previous crits that you were doing an exhibition split into 3 sections, and I feel like if you are still doing this it will work so well with your painting style and be super effective with a group of paintings, i can imagine this with some sound to invoke feeling, amazing so far 🤩🫶🏻

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Nice idea! and clearly communicated.

some references to look at:

Anamorphic optical illusions by Georges Rousseau.

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I love the colour scheme and the concept of the theme. It reminds me of El Anatsui's Behind the Red Moon.

https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/el-anatsui

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I looooove the blend of traditional painting and technical art! Will this be an exhibition at the end? I'd love to know more about where it's going once it's made.

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I feel like since I know what your project is about I can understand your intention but if i wouldnt, the work by itself doesnt speak for itself fully....

"reveal things that are not on surface level" : strongggggg definition!! :)

It is also cool to see a lot of mediums!!

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It is very technical - it's amazing to see the different angles and experiment on the blender. Consider Lenticular Printing - to create the illusion of depth and movement.

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Very impressive looks proper profesh

Maybe I need more clarity on the concept

But feels super exciting, fresh and contemporary