# data[].attributes.headline
Wrote as if they were speaking to a person

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Wrote as if they were speaking to a person

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This person said the ussr's economy was so bad because they spent too much money on ballet

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"Strong" paragraph is weakest out of all of them

# data[].attributes.subject
"Strong" paragraph is weakest out of all of them

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The writer OBVIOUSLY knows how to write with proper grammar.

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The writer OBVIOUSLY knows how to write with proper grammar.

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if i could write more helpful comments i would

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Although this really isn't something we needed to look at, their grammar was a bit off and had many typos. Spell/grammar check anyone?

# data[].attributes.subject
Although this really isn't something we needed to look at, their grammar was a bit off and had many typos. Spell/grammar check anyone?

# data[].attributes.headline
Only Facts and like one sentence of explaining

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Only Facts and like one sentence of explaining

# data[].attributes.body
There are a lot of run on sentences

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JUST GIVING DATA but no argument is being made at all 

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JUST GIVING DATA but no argument is being made at all 

# data[].attributes.body
There is no argument and not a clear stance

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A lot of choppy sentences and not very many transitions. Some points are unclear

# data[].attributes.body
they had problems with connecting the sentences and gave random info, like connect the sentences and their examples did not go well with their topics

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Does not explain, just states the facts then leaves me hanging

# data[].attributes.subject
Does not explain, just states the facts then leaves me hanging

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they gave a lot of data but their information was very dry 

# data[].attributes.subject
they gave a lot of data but their information was very dry 

# data[].attributes.headline
unnecessary and extra words that make sentences hard to understand. also a lot of repetitive things

# data[].attributes.subject
unnecessary and extra words that make sentences hard to understand. also a lot of repetitive things

# data[].attributes.headline
It's so vague, there is no expansion, it's all flower writing.

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It's so vague, there is no expansion, it's all flower writing.

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Said the detail about the Soviet Union, but never expanded on it or explained the significance

# data[].attributes.subject
Said the detail about the Soviet Union, but never expanded on it or explained the significance

# data[].attributes.headline
Sometimes didn't explain the quote fully

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Sometimes didn't explain the quote fully

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Instead of comments, I would rather go on an hour long rant to this person about his or her essay's flaws.

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Phrases listed are to vague resulting in a unclear claim.

# data[].attributes.subject
Phrases listed are to vague resulting in a unclear claim.

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Their claims weren't really connected to their CLAIM

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Their claims weren't really connected to their CLAIM

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I have noticed with the essay i read the thesis is not clear and the intro of each paragraph is not clarified. I am confused what each paragraph is about and may have seen some repeats. Also whats written are just facts and not reasons why the topic should be used in a textbook

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The writer could have explained certain parts better and with more detail.

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The writer could have explained certain parts better and with more detail.

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too many sentences start with "The soviet union"

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Their mistaking information of the Soviet Union as information about Russia

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Too much flower writing. Some parts need to get to the point quicker.

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Most sentences did not connect very well and they gave examples that really did not match with their topics

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The document information is clear and supports the thesis but their arguments could be stronger and expanded.

# data[].attributes.subject
The document information is clear and supports the thesis but their arguments could be stronger and expanded.

# data[].attributes.body
A lot of repeat sentences and background information is weak.

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They are not making their stance clear for the reader

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They are not making their stance clear for the reader

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They did not explain why these topics should be stressed about.

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They did not explain why these topics should be stressed about.

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topic sentences could be more  related to the prompt

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topic sentences could be more  related to the prompt

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It is hard to see how the evidence supports the claim

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It is hard to see how the evidence supports the claim

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Sentences keep dropping off.  It hurts my brain

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Sentences keep dropping off.  It hurts my brain

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The quotes did not flow with the sentences.

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The quotes did not flow with the sentences.

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Too much sentences that start with "The Soviet Union

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Many sentences had no meaning and were not clear to the reader.

# data[].attributes.subject
Many sentences had no meaning and were not clear to the reader.

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The writer was very good and explained their claim very descriptively

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The writer was very good and explained their claim very descriptively

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they didnt go back to the claim like why the information they chose should be put in a textbook.

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The elaboration was strong but should have put more

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The elaboration was strong but should have put more

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I couldn't really understand some sentences

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I couldn't really understand some sentences