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Q1. How to become friends with people in my year and classes, with our interactions just being in the zoom chat and work related group chats ? 

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Q1. How to become friends with people in my year and classes, with our interactions just being in the zoom chat and work related group chats ? 

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Forced group work: Some people may love or hate group work depending on who you partner up with. I encourage my students to do collaborative learning, some may hate it or love it.

Connection: I find it very important to me, so I want people to meet and what happens when is I will organise mingle nights for instance. Not everyone attends it, but the people who attend I get to see who they are and I am more than happy to write them a letter of recommendation!

Apart from attending events, clubs and societies are also good opportunities to meet different people (like Monash SPIN, I'm plugging for you guys *laughs*).

Be BOLD: Be shameless, now is not the time for you to be shameful.  You can post in forums asking "Hey, I'm looking for a study buddy". What's the worst that could happen? Someone just ignores, you that's it.

Quiet Zoom breakout rooms: Sometimes I hear people leave breakout rooms and that is really upsetting. It also annoys me because that isn't the point of breakout rooms. One solution you can tell your tutor is to let you choose your breakout rooms, so you choose the people you want to work with because you know these are the people that are interested. Another tip is to attend consultation and PASS sessions because there is a higher chance there will be like-minded people.  Again, bringing up the point of diffusion of responsibility, who is responsible to talk? You could also pair up only two students then they are forced to talk to each other.

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Q2. How to juggle between family, personal and academic responsibilities? Sometimes your family just assume you are free because you're always on your device

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Q2. How to juggle between family, personal and academic responsibilities? Sometimes your family just assume you are free because you're always on your device

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Expectations: I know this sounds like a really really lame answer but have that conversation just talk and say that you know I think having that transparent communication and saying that this are my expectations.

Again, bringing in the elements of scheduling as well. So being like this is where I'm studying I'm on my device but you can take a look I'm not doing like other stuff. Another thing is you can say yes you are resting but when you're resting it doesn't mean you want to talk to your parents or your family, you just want to watch your thing. So I think having a honest conversation and seeing that you know family time to me it's also sitting here and just hanging out with you this enjoying our presence, sharing that space while we do our own thing .

Advice: You can experiment and see what works while you try to navigate this terrain but you should have clear communication of your boundaries.

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Q1: Will online dating shorten a match’s attention span? How do we keep our match captivated long enough?

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Q1: Will online dating shorten a match’s attention span? How do we keep our match captivated long enough?

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Definitely, as there are so many options out there and you're not the only one! Your match's attention span will definitely be shorter and easily gets distracted.

Emophilia personality. According to psychological theories, people who are high in the emophilia personality trait (i.e. falls in love quickly with someone) tend to get distracted more easily and don't really care who their mate is, since it is the thrill of falling in love that drives them.

Relationship investment model. According to the relationship investment model, the availability of alternatives is one of the key predictors. So, the more alternatives you have, the less you will invest in the relationship, which leads to a decrease in satisfaction.

Advice: How to keep the attention of someone? Meet more people and invest in more face-to-face time. Start a proper interaction and BE ACTIVE!

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Q2. How do you make friendships online especially if you have trust issues?

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Q2. How do you make friendships online especially if you have trust issues?

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You have to first sort out your trust issues, explore your trust issues and find out where the problem comes from.

When making friends online, there are certain safety steps you can take.
Tip #1 Don't jump into things immediately.
Tip #2 Try to dress differently or do things that make you slightly different from usual.
Tip #3 Find ways to get more information. Keep in mind that anything you can see or hear is information, so get into face-to-face interactions or video calls! (It skips a lot of uncertainties.)

To make friends online, simply join social events like an online dance party (psstt... do check out @twerkanon on Instagram). You can also get involved in hobby groups!

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Q3. It’s really hard to make friends or find a soulmate online compared to physical study. What should I do?

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Q3. It’s really hard to make friends or find a soulmate online compared to physical study. What should I do?

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"Dating is not finding a soulmate, rather it is to find yourself" You date because you want to get to know people, you want to know what you're trying to seek in a relationship and your relationship related needs. Not because you want to find "the one".

You need to first know who you are, then only it will be easier for you to find "the one"

Advice: When you're ready to be alone and acknowledge the person that you are, that's when you're ready to be with someone.

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Q1. How do I stick to a routine & balance between studies and free time during a pandemic?  (work-life balance)

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Q1. How do I stick to a routine & balance between studies and free time during a pandemic?  (work-life balance)

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1. Scheduling: Use Google calendar to remind yourself to take breaks

2. Have a buddy to keep you accountable that's very helpful

3. forcing yourself

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Q3. How to not have awkward conversations with family?

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Q3. How to not have awkward conversations with family?

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Have you tried [talking to them]? I can share my experience with my parents.

Family hierarchy:  I grew up in a super like Asian household where it's Mum is the queen of the house and the King and that is the one who brings in the cash. Mum does all the scolding and handling everything at home

So naturally what that how that works is you develop kind of this like "Oh my mother's my boss" relationship and like "She doesn't understand me" and you know you have that distance between your mother. And father is something similar but a more like there's "No he's not there" kind of relationship.

Intimacy problems:  So what happens when you grow up is that, I realised I didn't really know how to convey intimacy in relationships. I know this also sounds dramatic but I also didn't know how to feel intimacy and this came from deep self-reflection.

"Forcing" intimacy: It really started with me just forcing it like it like me and my mum/ We never have hugged each other in the past but what I've been doing is annoying her by hugging her and creating that more physical kind of intimacy. And she loves it even though she denies it sometimes.  I compare this to my older sister. I told her about this and she said "I just can’t , I can’t do it. Our relationship it’s not like that."  It’s not like that have you tried, it's more are you willing to yourself and can you get over that little boundary.

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Q2. How to deal with a lack of motivation after studying

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Q2. How to deal with a lack of motivation after studying

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Use external help such as a nagging parent, ask your mom if i don't get up at this time can you please shout at me

Have buddies as support

Inject fun into it. you need to have different types of study methods, you have group studies where you exchange information  and then you have your solo study method you can focus more.  you can do another thing is ask yourself, these are basic psychological principles, are you associating your workspace with joy? If you look at your workspace and you think I hate that spot, you're not gonna be motivated. we know about sleep hygiene for instance,  if you want to fall asleep you gotta make sure that you know your bedroom is a sacred space so that you know your body learns to associate that space with joy, and same thing happens with your study area,  you need to associate your workspace with joy and the drive to learn so don't underestimate the design of your study space.

(Some students don't have the option of having a conducive environment) yes 100% acknowledge that i was so happy that I wasn't living with my parents during the pandemic because I wouldn't be able to do the lectures at home with them so 100% understand that completely but you need to find that space even if it's as small space in your bedroom and make it beautiful.

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Q4. I get tensed up in front of the camera and whenever I speak during online class (never happened in physical class). How do I overcome this?

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Q4. I get tensed up in front of the camera and whenever I speak during online class (never happened in physical class). How do I overcome this?

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A human tendency: You actually get feedback [from others]. It's a psychological thing. It's funny because we love ourselves but we also hate ourselves the most. [In physical spaces], you get to see how you are appearing and that gives you that opportunity [to 🤬 yourself] . It [also] gives your brain that space to put some resources to self surveillance and self assessment. So what happens then is your cognitive resources to go that part. As you to start looking, you start noticing more things and that's when the nerves come in. It's a very natural thing.

Advice:  What you can do is turn on your video but make it smaller and this is actually recommended by researchers studying Zoom fatigue. They say to turn your camera on but enlarge your counterparts video. So you are simulating an actual interaction rather than an interaction where you look at how amazing or sh*tty you look. It's understandable but there are tricks you can use.

TLDR: Just don't look at yourself ;)

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Q1: Why is there a lack of communication/conversations in online classes compared to physical classes?

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Q1: Why is there a lack of communication/conversations in online classes compared to physical classes?

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Diffusion of responsibility. Referring to the paper dropping study, when you drop a book in a crowded place, the likelihood of someone helping you will be lower when there are many people compared to if there was only one person around. When there are more people around you, the responsibility for them to respond will be diffused/shared, so people feel less responsible to respond. This same concept applies for online classes.

Lack of identity. “Give a man a mask and he will show you his true face” When you don’t have an identity, it is hard to call you out [in class]. When you don’t have that accountability, it is harder for you to respond. However, it could be that you prefer to let others speak/you don’t want to be rude. Then, there is a lack of non-verbal cues. When everyone’s camera is on, then you can see whether or not someone is about to start speaking. But when you are facing all black screens, then you don’t even know if they are there.

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Q2. Do you think that attending online classes can somehow limit students’ exposure to some skills? Do you think then that students graduating from online courses will face any trouble working in the real world later in the future?

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Q2. Do you think that attending online classes can somehow limit students’ exposure to some skills? Do you think then that students graduating from online courses will face any trouble working in the real world later in the future?

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100% - it will definitely limit you and your experiences, but that does not mean it’s not possible or you will be the worst psychologist, business person, doctor, etc. Maybe you will struggle in the beginning, but if you have learned the skills and abilities in university, it won’t be a problem as you will learn on the job as well.

University is a place where your tutors and lecturers teach you how to learn, not teach you things. You need to acknowledge that you can do better at the job and can learn at the job - things will seem easier because they have picked up that learning ability at university.

Advice: Make your presence known to your teachers and make connections. Your teachers can help write recommendation letters for when you apply for jobs in the future.

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Q3. Since MCO, I've had a change in my study environment. And I haven't been as productive and motivated as I used to be. Is there anyway to find my motivation back again

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Q3. Since MCO, I've had a change in my study environment. And I haven't been as productive and motivated as I used to be. Is there anyway to find my motivation back again

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Extremely challenging situation here because if you have a very distracting environment what can you do? so if the environment doesn't work for you you have to think about the other factors and here, I want you to think about you know what the different things that contribute to your motivation it's not just one thing right so they could be environment, there could be the topic, there could be the joy that I get, there could also be am I having enough rest time, am I having enough rewards, so exactly someone said reward yourself with healthy breaks that is so important here if you're like me when I was a student I rewarded myself way too much before exam season then you know I don't have to reward myself when I’m actually like studying.

If you're the type of person who’s responsible and studying throughout the semester, then it's about giving yourself nice rewards. Nice rewards don't have to be big, they can be as simple as a 20 minute nap or i'm gonna watch that series that i was watching and stay away from Netflix stay away from the binging because i know i got through it too i suffer from the binge watching disorder. Lookout for all those different factors that contribute to your motivation and  identify if it is not good. If this is something that I cannot change, what other things that I can change? so you gotta reflect.

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Q3. What advice would you give to international students to provide a more culturally conducive environment for them being a foreigner in Monash university?

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Q3. What advice would you give to international students to provide a more culturally conducive environment for them being a foreigner in Monash university?

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Make your presence known by sharing your culture with people. Making food for each other is a great starting point to bridge the gap between the cultures!

As for Malaysians, it is our job to make more effort to be more welcoming to international students.

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Q5. If I am not a psych student, how do I do deep reflection?

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Q5. If I am not a psych student, how do I do deep reflection?

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Step #1 Find a topic you want to reflect on (e.g. dating life, friendships etc.) and ask yourself what you're doing.

Step #2 Sit down and start writing/thinking about it.
First thing you want to start to do is ask yourself what you’re doing

Tips: You can first ask yourself "What did I do the other day?". Then, following up with questions like "Why did I do that?" and "How did it make you feel?" and go on from here.

Over time, you'll find that you've become braver in your self-reflection and you're also able to acknowledge the flaws you're hiding.

P/S: Through this process, you might even hate yourself a bit more, but on the other hand, you will also start to appreciate yourself more because you've become more honest with yourself. That’s when you start to heal and start getting better.

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Q6. There are many couples who broke up during the pandemic. Why does this happen and how do they cope with this?

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Q6. There are many couples who broke up during the pandemic. Why does this happen and how do they cope with this?

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"Things happen for a reason, things don’t just happen." Romantic relationships will surely be affected, but the same applies to friendships.

This is the time where the motivation of both parties comes into play. If your relationship suffered because of the pandemic, it just means that pandemic or not, it’s going to suffer. It’s just that you’ve been given this opportunity to test the relationship.

If a relationship is strong enough and if both parties put in effort and try to keep the connection steady, it won’t be affected badly. Surely it will be affected to a certain extent but that commitment and intimacy that both parties try to maintain virtually is going to paly a huge role in maintaining the relationship.

P/S: If it doesn’t work, count yourself lucky as this is where you start on your new journey!

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Q7. How are some good ways to connect with lecturers?

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Q7. How are some good ways to connect with lecturers?

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Join consultations. Get to know your lecturers better!

Be a research assistant (RA) and join research labs. Some lecturers have active research labs where a group of students works together. You can always ask around if a lecturer wants to take in any RAs. If you're taking it seriously by showing that you’re interested and willing to volunteer several hours a week, most lecturers won’t say no. You will make new meaningful relationships, not romantic (or maybe) when joining a lab. On top of this, you will surely learn a lot!

You will be surprised how much you can connect with your lecturer or some academics just by doing these and also connect with people who are like-minded.

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Q4. What are the impacts of students who don't have a good work life balance, if it's not addressed?  

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Q4. What are the impacts of students who don't have a good work life balance, if it's not addressed?  

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1. Get an extension request because different people have different conditions .

2. if you can't keep up its ok, there's no race. just reduce your load the university give you options you don't have to take four units I've met students who told me they are suffering and then I find out there taking 5 units plus mental health issues and I'm like I can't help you if you're not gonna help yourself so number one thing is you don't have to finish things in 3 years don't take 7 years of course and know Your Limits and be proactive like don't mess something up and then say oh by the way can you give me another chance be aware of your current situation

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Q4. How do I bridge the gap between student and lecturer communication? For instance, I hesitate in asking lecturers any doubts after hours mainly because I haven't seen most of the lecturers or built a connection with them. 

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Q4. How do I bridge the gap between student and lecturer communication? For instance, I hesitate in asking lecturers any doubts after hours mainly because I haven't seen most of the lecturers or built a connection with them. 

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Connection is #1. Don't underestimate the importance of connecting with your teachers - not just because they are going to mark your paper. Your teachers are more likely to remember you if you interact with them in class, answer their questions, have discussions with them, etc. If your teachers know who you are, they could help recommend you to their colleagues for future jobs.

Advice: Go annoy your lecturers and tutors (in a nice way). Go for consultations - it is  the best place to connect with them since it is one-on-one. Ask questions in class whenever you can!

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Q8. How do you make sure you keep your social life exciting, especially during online class?

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Q8. How do you make sure you keep your social life exciting, especially during online class?

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Something to think about: What does an exciting social life mean to you?

Get yourself excited over the silliest things. Despite having lots of negativity around us, you have to look for the small victories - if you can’t take big wins, just go for the small wins.

Tip: Creating a space that feels different from your day to day life by incorporating something new and exciting so that you can have something to look forward to.
For example, spice up your work area by getting something small like a cool new lamp that you can show off in your next online events!

"Social life is non-existent right now" And that is on you! What are you going to do about it? Are you joining any club events? To make your social life exciting, you have to put in additional effort. If you are lazy to put in effort now, loneliness will take over.

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I actually just saw this the other day. How do you know you're overthinking? when you're overthinking you actually don't come up with a solution so when you're reflecting you actually go somewhere reflecting, you're thinking, but then you have a little bit of resolution but when you’re overthinking, the thinking itself prevents you from going to that end so how do you prevent that from happening? If you're a nervous reflector, set a timer. I know it sounds silly and say this is the amount of time I'm gonna spend doing this activity and you have to stop at that time, that's one. Another thing is writing rather than constantly thinking. Share it with a friend, find a friend that is someone that you can trust so you actually reflect and then you can talk about it with your friend. Someone said fun exercise: write down what you think, it's always very fun to revisit your reflection because you know when you look back you're like ‘why you so drama’.

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Q10. How to create boundaries with your friends?

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Q10. How to create boundaries with your friends?

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I'm guessing it's about setting a time or space.  I think the fun part of the pandemic is you always have an excuse you probably see memes like things are opening up so no more excuses to be an introvert. you can be honest and say ‘I am feeling like I need a bit more time for myself and this what I propose can we meet to spend this x amount of time together but then the rest of the time I may need to do my homework or if that doesn't work, if the honest way doesn't work, I was going to say that actually someone said my mum won't let me haha I know it sounds horrible but you can always use that if if the honest way doesn't work.

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Q11. What kind of virtual activities can you have with a partner esp since we cant see each other?

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Q11. What kind of virtual activities can you have with a partner esp since we cant see each other?

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I actually created a Bingo on this and it's on my Instagram page that I have my sister check it out it's called learn with pei and we put up like really stupid stuff that sometimes im so embarassed of but I'm learning to embrace. I can share the bingo with you so you can share it on your story. You can send each other self care packages and open it up together and talk about why you sent those things. you can engage, I think this is the most important thing, relationship check ins Checking on your relationship status ask questions that people don't really ask partner's. I also have questions on my page and a lot of different things that you can do like my partner right now is in the US so what we do is we have Online Dance parties with each other so we literally turn on Spotify there's the sharing function right and we just dance together he’ll be working out and I'll be like jumping around so we have shared moments like that and it's really about the silly things that make things a bit lighter, like not forgetting how easy it is to create joy if you really want to.