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This gif depicts an elderly animation character from "The Simpsons" trying to stay in with the times hence the skateboard and groovy terminology

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Menopause is often depicted as an event that will change a woman's personality, and this article argues that it really doesn't - but there is some humor to it that will make any women feel better.

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I am a woman who has gone through the transition of menopause and who has come out relatively sane (I think!). But the stereotypes about women going through "The Change," are not all complimentary. We are supposedly all moody - actually bitchy is often the word - forgetful, scattered, and constantly experiencing hot flashes. But a healthy dose of humour can go a long way to cooling things down.

Of course where there are stereotypes, there is truth, and the truth is that there are many women who experience some or all of these symptoms.

But just what is menopause? Judith Lasater, renowned teacher of yoga therapeutics puts it this way:
"Menopause is that rite of passage that marks the beginning of the second half of a woman's life... menopause heralds the passage to woman elder. Menopause is just as important a part of the heroine's journey as menstruation."
Relax and Renew: Restful Yoga for Stressful Times, Judith Lasater

Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. Before her last period, the time known as perimenopause, her ovaries slow down production of progesterone, estrogen and testosterone, and she has fluctuating periods. For most women perimenopause begins in the early forties, and can last about four years. Menopause will then come in the mid to late forties and early fifties, with the average age being 51 years.

Women going through perimenopause often experience no noticeable symptoms, but others suffer from the classic signs - fatigue, insomnia, hot flashes, headaches, bloating, weight gain, irritability, decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and skin changes. Usually by the time a woman has reached her menopause, most of the symptoms have disappeared.

Many women have written about their passage through menopause, some very seriously, and others with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Take Marjorie Dorfman in her blog "Menopause: Is It Really for You?"
"Because your body is unable to lubricate itself, sexual intercourse may be unpleasant. An over the counter jelly purchased while wearing a mask and dark glasses can help."
The humour that surrounds menopause is often very caustic: "I'm going through menopause. What's your excuse?" Or another woman blogs: "talk about hot flashes, I remember cooking once with a bag of frozen vegetables on my head!"

I've often wondered if such humour is written by men. But I've found many instances of women finding the humour in this rite of passage, including Erma Bombeck and Rita Rudner.

"I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week." - Erma Bombeck

"Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles." - Rita Rudner

Humour, as they say, is the best medicine, and the ability to laugh at oneself is a great healer. Honestly, if we didn't laugh at ourselves we might actually go as psycho as the menopause stereotypes imply.

Photo Credit: godutchbaby / CC 2.0

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I am a woman who has gone through the transition of menopause and who has come out relatively sane (I think!). But the stereotypes about women going through "The Change," are not all complimentary. We are supposedly all moody - actually bitchy is often the word - forgetful, scattered, and constantly experiencing hot flashes.

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Elderly characters in films are likely to die—or at least get very close to death—and its senior moments will be mocked and ridiculed.

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Books, arts and culture
Prospero
HOLLYWOOD makes more films about senior citizens than ever before. Notable octogenarians like Judi Dench, Donald Sutherland, Robert Redford, Maggie Smith and Christopher Plummer all seem to be able to find work whenever they want it. But most actors more than 60 years old should be wary when cast in a film: the character is likely to die-or at least get very close to death-and its senior moments will be mocked and ridiculed. Among the many social groups that the movie industry marginalises, the plight of the elderly seems to get the least attention.

A USC Annenberg Film Study from 2016 found that seniors are both underrepresented and stereotyped on screen. Analysing the 100 highest-grossing films of 2015, the authors found that only 11% of characters were aged 60 and over-off-screen seniors represent 18.5% of the general population-and 30 of the 57 films that featured a senior character used ageist comments. Senior characters that died on-screen often did so at the hands of physical violence rather than from chronic illness, the most probable cause of death of an ageing population. Hollywood's depiction of seniors does not map onto real life.

The latest example of this trend is "Going in Style". A remake of a film from 1979, it follows three retirees (played by Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin) who rob a bank to make ends meet after their pensions are dissolved. An occasion to probe the failures of the state pension system and societal neglect of the elderly, the film instead refuses to offer the characters a modicum of dignity. They continually reference how close they are to dying, calculating how many years they may have left based on their various ailments.

For the stars of "Going in Style", it must feel like déjà vu. Mr Freeman previously starred in "Last Vegas" (2013) and "The Bucket List" (2007)-the latter film triggered this development with a $175m worldwide gross-both about elderly friends angling for one last hurrah. Mr Caine starred in "Mr Morgan's Last Love" (2013), which followed an elderly Londoner's romance with a younger woman. Mr Arkin earned an Academy Award for dying in "Little Miss Sunshine" (2006), and met a similar fate in the Al Pacino-Christopher Walken comedy thriller "Stand-Up Guys" (2012) about old gangsters having one final night on the town.

"Going in Style" induces a few laughs, but like these other films it mostly relies on the tired conventions of the old-folks-behaving-badly genre. Its elderly characters act like reckless teenagers, and the audience is meant to giggle at the anachronism. They smoke marijuana and joke about getting "the munchies". They shoplift from a local supermarket. One has energetic sex with a casual acquaintance. There is even a slow-moving chase scene in which they evade an officer of the law on a scooter, a sequence familiar to fans of sitcoms, cartoons and other derivative comedies.

It is hard to understand why films offering richer depictions of elderly life are not being made: the incentives are there. The membership of most awards bodies still skews older, making a film like "Philomena" (2013) a shoo-in for major nominations. Financially the case is even stronger, with older Americans now making up a significant portion of the movie-going public, according to the MPAA. In 2011, 4.1m senior citizens (60+ years old) were going to the movies once a month or more. By 2015, that number had risen to 5.1m, while frequent movie-going among Americans aged 12-39 fell during that same period. In short, seniors go to the movies; in recent years they have driven independent films like "I'll See You in My Dreams" (2015), and "Hello, My Name is Doris" (2015) to surprisingly sturdy theatrical grosses.

"Philomena" is an excellent example of how ageing and its challenges can be dealt with on screen. The Best Picture nominee starred Judi Dench as an older woman looking for the child she was forced to give up for adoption decades earlier. Through the character of Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan), a journalist doing a story about her search, the film addresses and subverts our expectations. He dismisses her as a senile old lady but, as they grow closer, his understanding deepens. When they discover that her son was gay, for example, Sixsmith tries to break the news to her gently, expecting her to recoil with horror. Instead, she brushes it off as an insignificant detail like a modern-day progressive.

Sadly, films such as these remain exceptional; films like "Going in Style" are now a genre in their own right, and they may think that they're helping. "A culture has a responsibility to take care of its elderly," says one figure in "Going in Style", and an argument could be made that these films provide positive, life-affirming role models for the elderly, while allowing younger viewers to find ways to relate to them. This argument would be much stronger, however, if the films didn't spend so much time mocking them. Using comedic clichés does not fully-formed, empathetic characters make. Rather than encourage younger generations to laugh at the elderly, we should be encouraging them to have some compassion.

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Hollywood's depictions of the elderly are tired clichés

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Books, arts and culture Prospero HOLLYWOOD makes more films about senior citizens than ever before. Notable octogenarians like Judi Dench, Donald Sutherland, Robert Redford, Maggie Smith and Christopher Plummer all seem to be able to find work whenever they want it.

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This article analyzes commonly-discussed stereotypes about the elderly, and and how elderly people tend to believe their own stereotypes. This can lead to seniors suffering a lesser quality of life and can even shorten life spans.

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Stereotyping is the practice of drawing conclusions about a person's personality, disposition, or other traits purely from his or her physical appearance or background. It is largely condemned in modern society. Gone are the days when television shows, popular music, or other purveyors of culture could engagein stereotyping without backlash. Most people today strive to avoid this type of behavior.

Yet, for at least one segment of the population, stereotyping persists. Stereotyping of elderly people remains an apparently acceptable practice, especially in certain types of television shows. As a result, some elderly people who watch these shows may actually find themselves believing the stereotypes about themselves. This can lead to seniors suffering a lesser quality of life and can even shorten life spans.
Watching Television Can Contribute to Negative Stereotyping
Researchers Donlon, Ashman, and Levy note that in a great number of television shows, stereotypes about elderly people persist. Whether they are being painted as cantankerous and stubborn or poked fun at because of their maladies or infirmities, elderly people seem to be fair game in situation comedies.

The stereotypes are not limited to situation comedies either. A number of television shows seem to rely on the premise that stereotyping of elderly people is acceptable and legitimate. This is especially true of daytime shows, when a high proportion of viewers are likely to be elderly, retired people.

As a result, people who watch a great deal of television may find themselves believing the stereotypes presented. This is true even when an audience is seeing a stereotype about themselves. Elderly peoplewho watch a significant amount of television may find themselves believing the negative portrayals of aging.
Negative Elderly Stereotyping Begins to Affect an Elderly Person's Self-Perception Years before He or She Is Elderly
Many people, during the formative years of their lives, will resist stereotypes about themselves because they do not reflect their own experiences. As a result, they have a defense mechanism which helps them to deny the stereotypes as false.

On the other hand, most people are presented with elderly stereotyping when they are still young and the stereotypes do not apply to them. Because of this, they may not have a defense mechanism against the stereotypes. They may end up internalizing them without even realizing it.

Levy's research shows that children ingest negative stereotypes about aged people. She cites studies demonstrating that negative stereotyping of the elderly makes children view the aging process as something undesirable that they do not want to undergo. When they do undergo it, they tend to self-stereotypethemselves negatively.
Negative Elderly Stereotyping Can Impact an Elderly Person's Longevity
Many psychologists agree that a person's view of his or her circumstances can impact his or her quality of life. A person's mindset affects his or her mood and overall enjoyment. Medical research shows that a negative outlook can damage the body. It causes a stress response which can lead to earlier occurrences of strokes and heart attacks. In short, a negative outlook on life can actually lead to a shorter lifespan.

It's not just an elderly person's lifespan that changes due to his or her view about life. Numerous studies have shown a definite link between someone's mindset and the onset of physical maladies. People who suffer from depression will frequently exhibit physical symptoms, including fatigue and listlessness. As an elderly person begins to accept negative stereotypes about aging people, several things can happen. He or she may actually begin to exhibit physical symptoms that mirror negative beliefs about elderly health and well-being.

Levy's study on negative age stereotyping shows that elderly persons' negative beliefs about the aged haveserious impact. These beliefs directlyaffect performance on memory tests and other objective measures of well-being. This includes the ability to walk, cardiovascular health, and the will to live.
Watch Television with Caution
With this in mind, it would be wise for viewers of television to identify negative elderly stereotypes and reject them. Younger people watching television with an elderly loved one may want to point out any stereotypes and refute them. By doing this, caregivers and family members can combat the internalization of stereotypes by the elderly person. This, in turn, helps to preserve an elderly loved one's quality of life.
Sources
Donlon, M.M., Ashman, O., and Levy, B.R. (2005). Re-Vision of Older Television Characters: A Stereotype-Awareness Intervention. Journal of Social Issues, 61(2): 307-319. Available at https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Becca_Levy/publication/227658932_Re-Vision_of_Older_Television_Characters_A_Stereotype-Awareness_Intervention/links/0912f511fa79a5f8db000000.pdf. Retrieved .

Levy, B.R. (2003). Mind matters: Cognitive and physical effects of aging self-stereotypes. Journals of Gerontology, Series B, 58(4): 203-211. Available at http://psychsocgerontology.oxfordjournals.org/content/58/4/P203.full. Retrieved .

Whitbourne, S.K. & Sneed, J.R. (2002). "The paradox of well-being: Identity processes, and stereotype threat: Ageism and its potential relationships to the self in later life." Ageisim: Stereotyping and Prejudice against Older Persons. Nelson, T. D., ed. Massachusetts: . The MIT Press. A Bradford Book.

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Negative Elderly Stereotyping Decreases Longevity - Seniors Matter

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Stereotyping is the practice of drawing conclusions about a person's personality, disposition, or other traits purely from his or her physical appearance or background. It is largely condemned in modern society. Gone are the days when television shows, popular music, or other purveyors of culture could engagein stereotyping without backlash.

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Boomers — the generation born roughly between 1946 and 1965 — scoff that millennials expect “participation trophies” for doing the bare minimum. Millennials say boomers are “out of touch.”

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For a long time now, the cross-generational dialogue between baby boomers and millennials has been built atop several recurring themes. Boomers - the generation born roughly between 1946 and 1965 - scoff that millennials expect "participation trophies" for doing the bare minimum. Millennials say boomers are "out of touch." Millennials (born roughly between 1980 and 1996) are " killing" once-stable industries like cereal by saving money, spending less, and " eating avocados." Boomers have " mortgaged the future " in exchange for hoarding wealth while also voting to end necessary social programs. Millennials would rather complain about student debt than buckle down, work hard, and "get a job."

If anything, teens have been subjected to even harsher rhetorical maligning. Members of Generation Z, born roughly between 1996 and 2015, are portrayed as addicted to their phones, " intolerant" of their elders, and stuck in a " different world " thanks to the internet.

With all this repetitive back-and-forth - seriously, there are bingo cards - it's no wonder the most polarizing meme of the year is a two-word dismissal of the whole debate. "OK boomer," which floated into the internet mainstream and rapidly gained traction this fall, is an attempt by millennials and Gen Z to both encapsulate this circular argument and reject it entirely.

OK boomer is meant to be cutting and dismissive. It suggests that the conversation around the anxieties and concerns of younger generations has become so exhausting and unproductive that the younger generations are collectively over it. OK boomer implies that the older generation misunderstands millennial and Gen Z culture and politics so fundamentally that years of condescension and misrepresentation have led to this pointedly terse rebuttal and rejection. Rather than endlessly defend decisions stemming from deep economic strife, to save money instead of investing in stocks and retirement funds, to buy avocados instead of cereal - teens and younger adults are simply through.

arguing with someone:

-pointless
-lots of anger
-they won't listen

"ok boomer"

-so useful
-lots of anger (from their end)
-literally the best invention of all time
- Beans After Dark (@goodbeanalt) October 7, 2019

The conversation isn't through with them, however, not least because the rise of OK boomer has provoked concurrent backlash from baby boomers, many of whom have misread the meme, and feel it is motivated mainly by ageism. But that misreading also feeds the meme - because baby boomers failing to understand the point of OK boomer is, well, the point of OK boomer.

Don't get it twisted. It's important to understand that what really lies behind the meme is increasing economic, environmental, and social anxiety, and the feeling that baby boomers are leaving younger generations to clean up their mess.

OK boomer is an instantly relatable cry of frustration to many people

The earliest mentions of OK boomer can be traced as far back as 2015 on 4chan, where the phrase was used as an insult by the forum's anonymous users, aimed at other anons who seemed out of touch. But the phrase really took off this year on TikTok, as a rebuttal to angry rants by baby boomers about kids these days. A song by Peter Kuli & Jedwill known as " OK BOOMER! " - the verses define boomers as racist, fascist Trump supporters with bad hair - became a popular song choice for TikTok sing-along videos this fall. Teens on the platform used the song's intro and chorus as a rebuttal to annoying run-ins they'd had with seniors policing or judging their behavior:

Sometimes, the complaints teens are referencing in these videos are typical generational conflicts. But more often, they're politicized, with teens reacting to adults who are judging things like their gender expression, their financial choices, their approach to job-hunting, or their leisure activities. The broader background to all of this resentment is the perceived irony that while boomers nitpick and judge younger generations for their specific choices, it's the boomers' own choices that created the bleak socioeconomic landscape that millennials and Gen Z currently face.

"Everybody in Gen Z is affected by the choices of the boomers, that they made and are still making," teen entrepreneur Nina Kasman told the New York Times in October. "Those choices are hurting us and our future. Everyone in my generation can relate to that experience and we're all really frustrated by it."

"[T]he two words feel downright poetic after years of hearing my generation blamed for 'killing' everything from restaurant chains to department stores to relationships," wrote Grist's Miyo McGinn in early November, "even as so many of the challenges people my age face - student loan debt, general economic instability, and, of course, a rapidly warming planet - are the result of short-sighted decisions made by earlier generations."

This broader socioeconomic aspect seems to have gotten lost as the meme spread throughout the mainstream, however. Many people became aware of OK boomer through the October New York Times article, which focused on teens who had taken the meme offline and were turning it into merchandise and fashion statements. Almost immediately, people rushed to sell OK boomer merchandise and attempted to trademark the phrase, and brands began to use it on social media - completely missing the inherent critique of capitalism that the meme enfolds, which led to more eyerolling.

But millennials who mocked the instant trendiness of OK boomer were drowned out by the meme's intended targets: boomers. Some began claiming that "boomer" was an ageist slur equivalent to "the n-word," while others merely discouraged the use of "boomer" in the workplace. Media outlets opined that the meme was " dividing generations." Gen Xers offered the "both sides" take. In the Washington Post, history professor Holly Scott reminded everyone that boomers were once activists too.

This response helped further cement the meme as a dismissive retort to boomer condescension - and as it spread, its political aspects became more pointed. On November 4, 25-year-old New Zealand politician Chloë Swarbrick used the phrase as a rebuttal to one of her older colleagues in Parliament after the man heckled her during a speech about climate change. The moment occurred just as she was discussing the urgency her generation feels to prioritize and deal seriously with the problem, and explaining her frustration that previous cycles of lawmakers have failed to do so.

Swarbrick was castigated for bringing the meme into a political forum - but as she herself made clear in a subsequent essay for the Guardian, the meme represents a wealth of generational political concerns: "My 'OK boomer' comment in parliament was off-the-cuff, albeit symbolic of the collective exhaustion of multiple generations set to inherit ever-amplifying problems in an ever-diminishing window of time," she wrote.

The point of Swarbrick's climate change speech was that younger generations feel they can no longer rely on older generations to help solve major and daunting environmental and economic issues. And many baby boomers seem to be making her point for her by misunderstanding what OK boomer is about.

What many boomers think OK boomer is about: ageism and entitlement

"As a baby boomer myself, I have mixed feelings about the latest linguistic weapon of generational warfare being deployed against us," Bloomberg's Tyler Cowen recently wrote in response to the meme. Cowen touched on what he saw as the meme's ageism and attempted to reframe it as an ironic compliment to boomers, asserting that boomers are still the boss. "The phrase 'OK boomer' is itself an implicit and indeed somewhat passive admission as to who is really in charge," he decided.

Cowen's column was a strange echo of an August essay by former Deadspin editor Megan Greenwell. As she was exiting Deadspin, she wrote about the tone-deaf and poorly considered changes the site's new parent company, G/O Media, had brought to the newsroom. Beyond discussing specific issues at Deadspin, Greenwell's essay was a larger swipe at the hubris of tech companies and corporate moguls for assuming that they, not the journalists whose media outlets they were ruining, were "the adults in the room." This attitude prompted an eventual wholesale rejection by Deadspin's editorial staff, as they chose to resign en masse rather than submit to the whims of the bosses they felt were out of touch.

In a very real sense, that same tension between condescending, older authority figures and younger ones who reject them is at work in the OK boomer meme. Boomers like Cowen are simultaneously anxious about the meme's ageist implications, and eager to assert their wisdom over younger generations. In response to this line of thinking, the Twitter hashtag #boomeradvice recently went viral - but instead of praising boomers' knowhow, the point of the tag was to mock the most out-of-touch advice, often about work, job-seeking, and finance, that boomers had given millennials and teens.

What's largely missing from the "elders know best" logic is any acknowledgment that it's part of the problem, and that younger, well-read adults might also have wisdom and insight into the problems they're dealing with.

It doesn't help that studies have found that older people are more likely to judge younger people harshly compared to qualities they have themselves. As Vox's Brian Resnick recently explained, a study on a phenomenon called "presentism" showed that "adults who are more authoritarian are more likely to say kids today are a lot less respectful of elders than they used to be. Adults who are more well read say kids today are a lot less interested in reading than they used to be. And adults who are more intelligent (as approximated by a very short version of an IQ test) are more likely to say kids are less smart than they used to be."

So if an older adult sees themselves as financially successful, respectful, and job-loyal, the study suggests they might be more likely to view a younger person as a financially irresponsible and insolent job-hopper.

saying "eat the rich"

-depressing
-been done
-makes people think you're a cannibal

saying "ok boomer"

-fresh
-new
-hurtful to a generation that ruined the planet and economy
- Skoog (@Skoog) October 17, 2019

This is all arguably a new iteration of the "kids these days" generational cycle that every era experiences - at the very least, the backlash to the OK boomer meme underscores the belief held by many millennials that boomers have never understood their generation. But because of the cultural and political moment we're in, the stakes feel much more fraught and high-risk than other generational clashes.

What "OK boomer" is really about: economic anxiety, the threat of environmental collapse, and people resisting change

"I talked to my dad about it and he said the reason the 'boomers' get so mad is because they feel as if they earned the right to say such things to us kids because they worked hard for what they have," said 16-year-old Adriana Lepera, who talked to Vox via Instagram. Lepera, a popular TikTok teen with over 120,000 followers, made a viral OK boomer TikTok reacting to a conversation she had with her grandfather. She used the meme to respond to his assertion that she should be working - even though she doesn't even have a driver's license yet, which she says makes it harder for her to find a job.

"After my [OK boomer] video, I got a few comments from 'boomers' explaining how many jobs they had and how hard they have to work, proving the joke to be true," she told Vox.

Lepera admits that today's teens do have it easier than boomers did in some ways. "Today's kids are getting things handed to them, and that's not what the boomers like to see, so they make cocky comments because they believe that they are 'superior,'" she said.

But she also argues that boomers miss the point - that crucial things are a lot harder. "We are working hard to get fewer jobs," she said. "That's why we're mad, because all of the boomers made it to be like that."

Teens like Lepera understand that the OK boomer meme is driven both by their generation's deep economic and environmental anxiety, and by progressive values that are growing firmer over time. Younger generations are more diverse, less religious, and more directly impacted by economic inequality than their forebears. "Ok, Boomer, millennials actually earn 20 percent less than you did," GQ declared in mid-November. Millennials who value work culture, advancement possibilities, and quality of work over quantity are finding their paths to promotions blocked by baby boomers - but when they change jobs or careers in search of these things, they find themselves branded with the false stereotype of being disloyal job-hoppers. All the while, student debt remains high, and the economic scandals of the 2000s have led to millennials being more cynical than their elders about the benevolence of corporate overlords.

But many of those offended by OK boomer seem to understand very little of this. They're instead sticking to their guns about the workplace, at least according to the teens who don't trust them. "I feel as if they aren't changing with the times," Lepera told Vox. "They believe that how they did everything when they were younger, we should do as well."

Whether it's justified or not, boomers are largely perceived as resistant to progressive change. In 2016, boomers were more likely to vote for conservative options like Brexit and Donald Trump than younger voters; statistically, boomers are less concerned about climate change than younger generations. And even after overseeing decades of financial prosperity that's arguably wrecked the economic future for decades to come, the richest baby boomers continue to amass wealth for themselves in the face of debilitating economic inequality.

Baby boomers, however, also have to contend with their growing obsolescence. Boomers as a voting bloc are outnumbered by millennials, and there's an advancing push among millennials for greater voter turnout; in the 2018 midterm elections, Gen Z, millennials and Gen Xers collectively edged out the voter turnout of everyone older than them.

So the older generation is being told its advice is out of touch, and that boomers are out of touch, at a moment when their views have less traction in the current economic and political landscape than ever. Perhaps that's why so many of them keep pushing back against the meme - thereby strengthening the meme's basic point.

The debate around OK boomer is a new spin on the old debate over millennials - and an even older debate about kids these days

We all know the immortal cry that parents just don't understand, but in this case, the media and the cultural narrative around the OK boomer meme isn't helping - especially since so many attempts to "explain" the meme or "clap back" have missed the point about why millennials are mad. A few of these attempts have come across as just as out of touch as the meme's targets.

We desperately need younger editorial voices at places like WaPo. Imagine thinking millenials give a shit about "expanded entitlement programs." https://t.co/mnbYCfLdqQ
- Carlos Maza (@gaywonk) November 5, 2019

In an attempt to provide a retort to the meme, Myrna Blyth, the senior vice president of the senior advocacy group AARP, stated in an interview that boomers are "the people that actually have the money." This widely shared quote came in for massive criticism and ridicule, and the AARP quickly apologized, reminding everyone that "'isms' that divide us are not OK."

But Blyth's statement is a peak example of boomers missing the point. A big cause of younger generations' resentment toward boomers is the perception that boomers are hoarding wealth. (This perception is accurate; the average baby boomer has a net worth that is 12 times more than the average millennial.) In particular, her statement highlights the pattern of boomers failing to realize that the perceived ageism of the meme, even as a joke, is a stand-in for rational economic anxieties.

Still, expressing this frustration through the meme seems to make boomers less inclined to listen, which leads to doubling down on all sides. As novelist Francine Prose put it in an op-ed for the Guardian:

The accepted explanation and justification for all this is that the old have ruined things for the young: we're responsible for climate change, for income inequality, for the cascading series of financial crises, for the prohibitive cost of higher education. Fair enough, I suppose, though it does seem unjust to direct one's anger at the average middle-class senior citizen struggling to survive on social security rather than raging at, let's say, the Koch brothers the Sacklers, the big banks, and the fossil-fuel lobbyists who have effectively dismantled the EPA. OK, Morgan Stanley, have a terrible day.

But to the TikTok teens, the boomers' sensitivity to the meme just makes them hypocritical. "They feel as if they can say whatever they want about our generation and no repercussion," Lepera told Vox, "but when we make a joke about them it's the end of the world."

In the end, the debate around OK boomer might be another iteration of the endless parade of internet-fueled ideological debates in which neither side is listening to the other. For frustrated millennials and teens, OK boomer is an emotionally valid response to boomer condescension, but to frustrated baby boomers, it sounds insolent and disrespectful: You say, "OK boomer," and I hear, "your entire generation has irrevocably destroyed human civilization." Let's call the whole thing off?

Perhaps, in the future, it's worth eschewing the meme altogether and having one more conversation across the generation gap. Or, if you're a boomer, you could take Lepera's advice:

"Just like take a joke and calm down boomer. "

Listen to Today, Explained

TikTok's hottest meme is pitting the Youths against the Olds, but the truth about this generational standoff can be found in its shades of gray.

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"OK boomer" isn't just about the past. It's about our apocalyptic future.

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For a long time now, the cross-generational dialogue between baby boomers and millennials has been built atop several recurring themes. Boomers - the generation born roughly between 1946 and 1965 - scoff that millennials expect "participation trophies" for doing the bare minimum. Millennials say boomers are "out of touch."