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Chapter 14
Jonas loved the memory of snow and sledding. I fear this would ruin it for him, but it had to be shared. He came in ready to receive. I placed my hands on his back and transmitted the memory that I could now barley remember. He cries out "No!" sobbing, his face wet with tears. I just have to keep telling myself that he is strong and will get through this. He rocks himself back and forth on the bed, begging for medication. I want to say yes, I want to protect him from all this pain! However I know I cannot. I shake my head and look away. Every day now I give him some of my pain, but I always end the day with a memory of joy. I just hope that Jonas is strong enough. One day I get a question I have been asking myself for years, "Why?" he asks me. "Why do you and I have to hold these memories?". I think for a brief second. "It gives us wisdom." I reply "Without that I could not do my job." He makes great points, what wisdom do we get from hunger? I feel like a child now. Questioning things I cannot change. I explain to him and he seem to understand, I don't really know how though because even I am not sure.

Chapter 15
War, pain, suffering! It wont get out of my head! The real world is blurry now but through all the pain, I can see Jonas enter the room. He askes if he should leave but I cant take it anymore! "Please take some!" I plead. I don't even know what I'm saying but I want it to all just go away. I place my hands on his back and feel relived. I take a deep breath and enjoy my freedom but then I realize what I just did. I gave that pain to Jonas. I gave war to Jonas. I cant even bare to look over at him. He's only a child and now he's burdened with this! I feel like a fool. I can only manage a whisper, "Forgive me" I say to Jonas as he sits quietly in shock.

Chapter 16
The following days I was very gently with Jonas, only giving him memories of joy. However I know that nothing can make up for the pain he has bee through. One day he asked my favorite memory and I gave it to him, but I was carful to keep at least some for myself. I explain to him the joyfully memory of family and love. He left that day and I just was thinking to myself, I love Jonas.

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Chapter 14
The Giver places his hand on Jonas's back and starts to give Jonas the memory. Jonas is experiencing a very painful experience. In this he breaks his leg and has a very hot hatchet burn him and this is where he learns the word fire. He also is vomiting and bleeding.  After waking up Jonas asks me/The Giver if he can have a pill and I say no and turn away. Then I say bye and Jonas leaves. Jonas leaves and heads towards the nurse when he gets there he remembers that he is not allowed to take pills or any form of medical equipment to heal himself so then he heads towards his sleep  room or as we call it bedroom. Once he gets there he gets in bed and goes to bed but keeps waking up and feeling pain. Then he asks his parents if Gabriel can sleep in his room that night and then that night Jonas passes a memory of a sailboat to Gabriel and after decides not to tell me/The Giver that he gave a memory away.

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Anguish, agony, pain, suffering these were all things Jonas is going through. All things I want to take away from him. And all things he needs to experience, doing this could easily make him end up like Rose- it's too painful; but that was a risk I had to take. As I watched his face show sheer horror I wanted to do something, I needed to do something but I couldn't. "Forgive me." are the only words I can croak out. How can I do this to someone? How can I let someone go through this? What is wrong with me? Is there no empathy? A darkness followed Jonas as he left, one he had to bear alone, one I couldn't take away from him. One, no one could know about.

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It was heart breaking to see Jonas shaking on the bed with pain twisting his features. I know his pain all too well, I lived through it too.  I wish there was some other way, something more fair so Jonas doesn't  have to bear this burden alone. It's not fair for the elders to place such a heavy burden on the shoulders of a child, it's not like they would understand. They don't have emotions, real emotions anyway they only care about sameness. I finished transmitting the memory of the poor poached elephant. Jonas sat up shakily and I once again wondered of this was the memory that was going to break him, but once again he amazed me with his bravery and asked me questions to better understand. I tired my best to guide him though the process of receiving such tragic memories but one can never be too sure when dealing with things like this. After the lesson was over Jonas waved goodbye with a smile on his face, I felt a pang of sadness, wished him well and sent him one his way.

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Today was the day i thought the day i would have to give jonas the memory that tested everything he knew ,the memory i was so quick to get rid of the person inside of me said he's just a child don't do it he's not prepared but the memory was so gory not even i could bear to keep it . When Jonas walked in he could tell something was wrong with me  he asked should if he should just come back tomorrow i managed to squeeze out a no and asked him to please
lay down so he did i was so eager to get rid of it it was like i was unaware of everything in those few moments as i gently pressed my soft hands against his rough un-lotioned back. It was after i transmitted the memory that i realized what i did, the guilt started to rise up and i said a sorrow sorry whilst covering my mouth and looking away i felt a tear drop down my soft cheek as i saw jonas's white hand and rosy sweaty cheeks i realized i was just as lovingless as the others in society i wasn't deserving of such a title as the giver if i was just going to put everysingle reciver in excruciting shock.

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I did not know how much longer I could take this. As each day passed by, it took everything I had not to bawl my heart out due to agonizing memories that lay in my mind. My breath staggered as I clenched my fist above my chest, leaning against the arm of my chair. Jonas could not find out, Jonas would not find out. Letting out a shaky breath, I tried to get up but instead was held back with an unbearable pain in my mind. Unable to hold it in anymore, I screamed. All the pain and suffering, I let it out into the world. The sleepless nights, the horrific dreams, the faltering of my heart reminding me I was close to my death day, I let it out. The instant I realized the damage I caused, I clasped my hand over my mouth, my shrieks of pain turning into helpless sobs. I heard the door creak and bit my tongue to prevent any sounds escaping my mouth, I rested my face in my trembling hands wishing for the pain to ease up for a few hours. Jonas seemed to realize something was wrong as he said "I'll come back tomorrow, sir" but then he hesitated, "Unless maybe there's something I can do to help." he added. I stiffened, turning my face towards Jonas to meet his eyes. "Please, take some of the pain." The words left me before I could think. No. No! I couldn't, Jonas was still young, the pain could kill him. My mind was replaced with thoughts of regret when I snapped back into reality to find himself beside the bed. Jonas laying in it with his eyes closed, determination written all over his features. It warmed my heart, Jonas was a fine young man. "Put your hands on me" said Jonas, reminding me of what I was about to put him through. I reached out to put my callous hands over his back. The memory replayed in a blur, fading out of existence for me but being born into another. The pain wavered, but I didn't realize because I was consumed in my guilt. How could I do this to Jonas? To a child? I felt Jonas's body got rigid under my touch, his face scrunched up in affliction as he gripped the sides of the bed, knuckles white. I vaguely remembered the memory I put him through, wincing as the last of the memory was extracted out of me. I drowned in relief, collapsing into the chair as I stared at Jonas. His eyes fluttering open, aimed at the bare ceiling. Tears rolled down from the corners of his eyes onto the sheet. He had a strained smile on his face as he turned to face me. I couldn't bear to look him in the eye, not after what I'd done. Jonas had gone through pain before, but this was different, this was on another level. And I couldn't do anything about it. "Forgive me." I whispered, not knowing what else to say. What else could I say? So I sat there like a fool, darting my eyes around the room to avoid Jonas's lingering gaze. He got off the bed and trudged towards the door "I accept your apology" he croaked, still overwhelmed by the experience. I stared at the back of his head, shocked. I shot a small smile in his direction even though he couldn't see me. As soon as he was alone, the sobs came back. But they were not backed by pain, but by guilt. This was Jonas's destiny, and there was nothing I could do about it, all this knowledge and I could do nothing about it. I was just another puppet under the command of them.

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From the beginning I knew that today would be rough for Jonas and myself. As I waited in the room, I tried reading a book to calm myself down, but it was to no avail. Putting it away, I sighed and patiently awaited Jonas with a horrible feeling in my stomach. I knew that eventually, he would ask the question I did not want to answer: "When will I start feeling pain?" Once he walked in, I transported a memory to him. A calmer memory. Then, after a while, he asked me the question in a more subtle way.
"Giver," he asked, "what causes you pain?" I could not find the words to answer him, but he continued. "The Chief Elder told me, at the beginning, that the receiving of memory causes terrible pain. And you described for me that the failure of the last new Receiver released painful memories to the community.
"But I haven't suffered, Giver. Not really." He stated, and smiled.
"Oh, I remember the sunburn you gave me on the very first day. But that wasn't so terrible. What is it that makes you suffer so much? If you gave some of it to me, maybe your pain would be less."
It warmed my heart to know that was thinking about me, but I did not let it show. I let him know that we would revisit an old scenario, a hill and sled, and asked him to lie down. Immediately, his face beamed with happiness and he quickly lied down. I placed my hands on his warm back and started to transmit the memory. Bit by bit, I felt the memory escape me, becoming dimmer and dimmer by the second. It was a memory about riding a sled, much like last time, but there is an accident. The person breaks their leg and starts crying and screaming for help. Help eventually arrives, but that is not in the memory. I had my eyes closed, but I could feel his muscles tense and hear him weep. It was a horrible memory and I started to doubt my choosing of memory. Once done, I opened my eyes. As quick as lightning, Jonas bolted upright. His eyes were red and swollen from the crying and his face was in despair. I remembered when I first received a painful memory. It was the worst, and my arm was aching throughout the rest of the day. The intensity and pressure of the pain didn't let me sleep at night, yet my leg was perfectly fine. Almost begging, Jonas asked me for releif-of-pain. I desperately wanted to let him feel better, but it was against the rules. He could not use releif-of-pain for anything related to his new assignment. Limping, he left. As soon as the door shut, my eyes watered.

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Today I do not feel so good, like every time I think back about the horrible memory, I do not want to release the memory to Jonas, but I know I cannot hold it for much longer. Jonas came in, and the memory came back and I felt the pain. “I want to help” he said, though I feel bad I know I must transmit the memory. I placed my hands on Jonas’s back and instantly I saw his face drop, I was relieved but worried.

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I did not want to give Jonas the memory I did, but I had to. From day one I knew that Jonas was a smart individual and worthy of being the reciever of memory. This memory i gave him wasn't just a mild pain but a gruesome pain. Seeing the tears coming from Jonas' eyes was almost too hard for me to bear. "He's only a child", I thought as I kept my hands on his back. "What if he can't handle it? And what if he turns out like the last reciever?"

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Jonas has asked to experience a painful memory, and the Giver relents, reasoning that he cannot protect Jonas from them forever. They return to sledding, but this memory is slightly different. Once more, Jonas experiences being at the top of a hill with a sled, but this time there is less snow. The surface of the hill is slick and icy. As Jonas experiences sledding down a hill, he suddenly experiences a loss of control followed by a feeling of pain so agonizing that he vomits. Back in the Annex room, Jonas asks for medication, but the Giver denies it. The rules clearly state that Jonas cannot apply for relief from pain that comes as part of his training. That night, Jonas limps home as he endures the pain of the memory.

The transmission of painful memories becomes part of Jonas’s daily routine, though the Giver is always kind enough to end their sessions with a positive memory, such as the memory of a sailboat on a lake. That the Receiver alone should carry the burden of pain seems unfair to Jonas. Why must they carry it? The Giver explains that pain brings wisdom. Furthermore, the community long ago chose for this to happen. When he explains that this arrangement has been in place for generations, Jonas realizes this means that nothing will ever change.

The Receiver’s wisdom is important. The Giver explains that someone had once suggested that they allow Birthmothers to give birth to four children, rather than three, and allow some family units to care for three children, rather than two. This would allow more children to be born and the population to expand. However, because this was a new idea, the Committee of Elders asked the Giver to share his wisdom. Reaching back in his memory, the Giver advised the council against the change because it could lead to hunger,...

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I knew today would be rough for Jonas as it had been for me. I watched Jonas step inside the room. I told him that I would be giving him another memory of a sled. Jonas beams with joy and gets ready to receive the memory. My stomach lurched. I gently placed my hands on his back and started to transmit the memory. The memory I was about to transmit is about a hill with a steep slope causing Jonas hurt himself. I watched Jonas's smile disappear and turn into a frown. I watched as tears raced down his cheeks and Jonas starting to shiver. He struck up like a bolt of lightning. He looked at me with his eyes moist with tears and asked if he could have a relief of pain. I turned my head around and told him no. I too knew how he was feeling but I had to follow the rules. He was alone and knew he had to keep his emotions bottled up. Each day it would get harder Jonas had to feel pain. I know I had to try and sooth Jonas. To do so I would transmit a memory of a boat sailing through a blue pleasant lake watching the sunset. I felt bad for Jonas he had been handling a lot of pain but I knew that I had to stay strong just the way he did.

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Today was a rough day. While Jonas was sitting on a sled I transmitted another memory to him. The memory he had received was yet another sledding one. but this time it was different. The hill in this memory was much steeper, and the snow beneath the sled was not thick and soft as it had been before, but hard, and coated with bluish ice. This time the memory shows the sled loses control. Once he had lost control he had fallen over and felt gushing pain coming from his leg. Jonas had now broken his leg. There was blood everywhere and I knew how much pain he was in. I felt hurt to see him like this but I had to be strong. The pain lingers after the experience is over. I knew how hurt  he was but I had to refuse to give him a relief-of-pain. I looked away because I couldn’t bear to see him in any more pain. Jonas then experiences pain and nausea from his badly broken leg and goes home with a limp. I have always transmitted more and more painful memories to Jonas but to ease the pain I had always ended the day with a pleasant memory, like sailing on a blue lake during sunset.

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Today was a very hard day for me, and Jonas. When he walks into the room I tell him that I will be transmitting another memory of going downhill on a sled. His face lights up and I just feel myself shrivel up inside. He lays down and closes his eyes as always and I place my hand on his back. At first he has a calm smile on his face but it soon turns into a face of fear. Glistening beads of tears started to roll unto his cheeks and I could feel small tremors vibrating through his body. I watched in horror as he shot strait up and wrapped his hands around his knees cradling himself. He looked up at through teary eyes and pleaded for a relief of pain. I simply looked away and said no. I knew how hard it was but he had to follow the rules. I knew the feeling of always being alone and having to keep it all to yourself. The days kept on going, each harder than the last. To try and sooth Jonas the best I can I would transmit a memory of a boat sailing on a lake in the sunset. The emotional pain that it caused me was horrible, but I had to be strong. Just like Jonas was being.

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I am ready and know to give Jonas the bad memories and  to give  him the pain. it was like an ordinary sled but he crashed and hurt himself after he got  out of the memory he  still had the bad pain, he even  asked for pain medicin but i would would not allow it and walked away. I had to watch him in pain and cant do anything but feel bad.

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That morning the I woke up with a terrible feeling in my stomach. I knew the day ahead would bring terrible pain to the young boy, Jonas that I  had been transmitting memories too. A few hours later Jonas was lying on the bed, I knew the first part of the memory wasn't too bad, in fact Jonas might even enjoy it. I watched as Jonas sat in the sled, I saw Jonas grinning slightly. Once the sled started moving, the smile on Jonas's face started to dissapear. It was hard for me to watch as Jonas struggled to control the sled. I watched as the sled fell over and Jonas fell to the ground, I watched as Jonas's face went from being terrified to being in utter pain. Jonas was screaming, I remembered the terrible pain from the fire cutting into my legs. I couldn't take it anymore, I took his hands off Jonas's back and breathed a sigh of relief.

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Jonas is starting to experiencing real pain. Not just emotional heartbreak. The giver knows what he is doing and because of the knowledge he has gained understands what he would be doin to jonas but being the giver means he has to train the next receiver. He then explains what his job really meant while the giver has to watch him feel such immaculate pain.

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I chapter 14, Jonas has asked to experience a painful memory, and the Giver relents, reasoning that he cannot protect Jonas from them forever. They return to sledding, but this memory is slightly different. Once more, Jonas experiences being at the top of a hill with a sled, but this time there is less snow. and this time he feels pain, and fear. He crashes, and gets hurt. Jonas, when finished with the memory, jonas has to limp home, as he continues to feel the pain for the crash. Before leaving jonas asks the giver for medicine, but the giver refuses. I think the giver dosen'y want to give jonas any medine, as it may blind him from what is really happening.

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In the story the Giver gives Jonas another memory on the hill but this time he crashes. Jonas experiences pain and when he asks for pain relief he is not allowed. I think the Giver feels sorry for Jonas because he is in pain and it is his first memory with real pain (unlike sunburn, which is more mild pain and discomfort). The Giver has to watch him suffer and limp home and I believe he feels bad for Jonas.

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I felt sorry for Jonas because of the pain he felt and then they talked about how the receiver job was really needed.

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Today I have to give Jonas more memories. I remember when I was training and the pain you felt I almost feel like I should be in jail for the pain I am causing a child to feel. If only there was another to train him to be the receiver. A child shouldn't have to carry such a heavy burden. I finished giving him the memory he stood up shaking in fear I couldn't bear to see it but I kept a straight face.