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As infants, we have to decide what and what not to trust in order to keep us safe. We learn that if we trust someone now, we can trust them in the future. If someone breaks that trust and we experience fear, we can develop doubt and lack of trust.

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As an infant, I could not take care of myself, therefore I relied on my parents to keep me safe, care for me, and love me. I resolved my problem with trust because I had to trust that my parents were going to keep me healthy and raise me correctly. I trusted that they would be consistent with the care they were providing for me. According to the book, “[babies] need to trust the world and people in it” (Martorell p.35) and I was able to develop that sense of trust with my caregivers. There was a time when I was little where I grabbed my mom’s hot curling iron and burnt myself. My parents told me that I never touched the curling iron again. That was an example of when I resolved a problem with mistrust because once I learned that the iron could put me in danger, I avoided it. This demonstrates that mistrust is just as important as trust because “mistrust will protect children from danger” (Martorell p.35).

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Stage 2: autonomy versus shame and doubt

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Stage 2: autonomy versus shame and doubt

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Early childhood is when we begin discovering our bodies. If our parents allow us to explore our bodies, we develop self-confidence. If our parents get upset or shame us, we can experience self-doubt. Parents play a major role in this stage of development.

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I grew up with a big family and a lot of cousins around the same age as me. Because there were so many of us, we were taught how to get ourselves dressed. However, if we wanted to keep our clothes off and run around in a diaper, we were allowed to do so within reason. If we were in our diapers, we were not punished or shamed by our family; they felt that it was more important for us to be comfortable than to be clothed. By allowing us to make small decisions for ourselves, our parents successfully made us more independent, while also setting boundaries with us. For example, if it was chilly and rainy outside, we were expected to wear clothes that kept us warm and dry, no exceptions. As Erikson said, “Unlimited freedom is neither safe nor healthy” (Martorell pg. 135).

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In this stage of life, we are constantly trying new things and learning basic life principles. We learn what is okay and not okay to do. If we are encouraged to learn and try new things, we take the initiative to continue doing more activities like it. If we are punished or told to stop doing a certain task, we can feel guilty about showing interest in that task.

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I was enrolled in preschool from 3-5 years of age. At preschool, I was learning basic life skills like self-sufficiency, categorization, and independence. I was taught how to participate in activities with my peers and encouraged to try new things like games, foods, and hobbies. Because I was taught to take initiative, try new things, and be self-sufficient, I was able to continue that behavior throughout preschool and elementary school. Because I had found a sense of purpose and independence, I was able to “pursue goals without being inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment” (Martorell p. 174).

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At this age we begin to discover our own interests. Receiving praise and support from our peers and authority figures motivates us to be more hardworking and spend more time on those interests. If we get negative feedback, we lose that interest and motivation and begin to feel inferior.

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Every year at my elementary school, we had a school carnival. In the weeks leading up to the carnival, there was an art competition where all students would submit a rough draft for the advertising poster for the carnival. From second to fifth grade, I won the competition. Winning the competition and getting praise from my peers and parents was motivation for me to continue doing well and putting hard work into the competition and my interests in drawing. If I had not won the competition, it could have negatively affected my self-esteem. “If children are unable to obtain the praise of others, they may develop a feeling of low self-worth and thus a feeling of inferiority” (Martorell pg. 220).

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Stage 5: identity versus identity confusion

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Stage 5: identity versus identity confusion

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In our adolescence, we realize we have a lot of different social roles (friend, sibling, student, etc.) All of these roles can be overwhelming for some people, which could possibly lead to an identity crisis. If our parents let us spread our wings and go off to discover our own beliefs, we will find our identity. If our parents try to indoctrinate us with their beliefs, we will struggle with role confusion.

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According to the book, “Identity forms when young people resolve three major issues: the choice of an occupation, the adoption of values to live by, and the development of a satisfying sexual identity” (Martorell pg. 264). By the time I got to high school, I had already discovered my occupation choice and sexual identity. I didn’t quite develop values that I wanted to live by until my freshman year of college. My parents were on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to Identity versus Identity Confusion. On one hand, my parents encouraged me to join clubs and find an extracurricular activity that I enjoyed. I was able to find my niche and I ended up making all of my close friends through these activities. However, I grew up in a very religious household, and I was forced to go to church with my family. I didn’t have the exact same beliefs as my parents and questioned a lot of the things I heard at church, and it resulted in me being really confused and frustrated about my spirituality.

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As young adults, we start focusing more on relationships and long-term commitment. We make goals in regards to finding love and being happy with our partner. If we cannot find a relationship, we feel isolated and unhappy.

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In regards to the previous stage of development, identity versus identity confusion, I have resolved the three major issues that form identity. I have been in a committed relationship for almost two years, and my partner has also resolved the three major issues. My partner and I have a very open and honest line of communication and are constantly looking for ways to connect on a deeper level and strengthen our relationship. Because I have established a long-term, meaningful relationship, I was able to develop a sense of intimacy and connection with others. However, one of my major goals in life is to have a family. Erikson states that “women define themselves through marriage and motherhood,” and that “women develop identity through intimacy” (Martorell pg. 265). According to Erikson, there is a part of my identity that has not yet developed because I am not a mother yet.

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As we age, we try to contribute to society and influence the generations below us. If we think we are succeeding at teaching the younger generations, we are happy. If we believe there are still unresolved conflicts or tasks in our lives, we can become unhappy and feel stagnant.

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I have obviously not reached this point in my life, but in order to avoid stagnation, I can give back to my community, find productive hobbies to do in my free time, and continue to be a good role model for younger people around me. Seeing as though I will hopefully still be a teacher in my 40s, I will be able to teach and care for the new generation of students. According to the book, “women’s moral reasoning comes from showing care and avoiding harm” (Martorell pg. 256). By having good morals and showing people compassion and kindness, I will be content to look back and see the positive impact I’ve made. All of these would be ways to resolve feelings of stagnation with generativity.

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As we get older, we being reminiscing on our lives. If we believe that we lived a long and happy life and are satisfied with the things we did, we develop feelings of integrity. If not, we can become very unhappy and experience feelings of despair.

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When I am old, I hope I can reminisce on my life and be proud of my accomplishments, the relationships I’ve built, and the impact I have left on those who know me. I have a lot of goals for my future right now, whether it be about relationships, my career, or personal goals, and I am looking forward to achieving them. I believe I will have feelings of integrity and meaningfulness when I look back on my life. As Erikson said, “When the elderly person achieves acceptance over their life, they allow the acceptance of death” (Martorell pg. 34)