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From Tom: Great story~

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from Tom： Your paragraph is very good, it's very interesting, I like it, but if you correct some grammar mistakes, it would be even better.

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Eason

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At Vanke School Padong, there was many problems of bully,I was just a bad stndent in G5C3 named Lemon.Since I became a bad student I always sit next to our teacher,Mr,Sanchez.After the annoying eye exercise ended,I saw Gabriel was giggling.I also heard someone said ：“Bob's pen is lost！”

I needed to face a big problem that effected all of the students in grade five .Bob ran toward me and said:"Lemon，my most expensive pen was stolen by someone,can you help me to figure out who stole it?"Bob was wrongly accused of losting his pen. He was very fat so other students often laughed at him. After I knew this,the class was almost starting.

Class was about anti- bullying.I would rather listen to stories than having that kind of boring class,During that class,Max said:"Gabriel always use elbow to hit Bob.”After class，I found Gabriel.I let him to show me one of his pen,He took out Bob's pen andhe laughed.

I told Bob that Gabriel stole his pen.Bob said：“I already knew that at last class,Max gave me clues.”I was rejoice.After that, Bob told the entire thing to Mr.Sanchez.When Gabriel almost step out of the school，Mr.Sanchez called him.He know what he did so he tried to escape.I and Bob “arrested" him.“Returnthe pen to Bob！"Mr.Sanchez said,Gabriel took out a pen that looks very cheap,“Not that one!" Bob said. I helped to took out the expensive pen that was stolen by him and Bob put it into his backpack.The second morning, I saw Gabriel gave Bob an apology letter.

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  As the applause got louder and louder, I got into the ceremony room,I felt myself exhilarating.Hard to control my feelings .This is when l heard my mom yelling at me:”hey,can you be quicker? breakfast is ready.”With my weary, eyes I’m dashing to school and very careful not to be late on the way to school. I kept thinking about my dream and hoping that it’s not a dream 

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  As the applause got louder and louder, I got into the ceremony room,I felt myself exhilarating.Hard to control my feelings .This is when l heard my mom yelling at me:”hey,can you be quicker? breakfast is ready.”With my weary, eyes I’m dashing to school and very careful not to be late on the way to school. I kept thinking about my dream and hoping that it’s not a dream 

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On the way to school, I saw granny Wang is on the left side of the road and can’t get to the right side because her wheelchair broke. I’m a very kind person so I went to put her all the way to the right with her wheelchair broken .she thanked told me where she lived and I noticed that we were very close to each other and we became friends.

As usual, I went to school and waved to granny Wong but today I noticed something is wrong. She has nowhere to be seen, and there is mud with wheelchair marks ,on it at that moment I know exactly what happened. — the gangsters took granny wang away to get her money. in 1982. She went to Arabia and got tons of crude oil from there and became a billionaire .with a task on and I have to help her first. I have to find her if I don’t find her I don’t know where is all the gangsters? I watch the short videos about her case and ask the police for help ,but all they said is that they are still investigating for more details .days and nights I thought of how to get her out of where she is, but I can’t find a solution, but on one day when I’m on the telephone, there is a gruff voice menacing me if I don’t give him $2000 she will not let granny Wong get out. Then I terrified, muttered a”no” into the telephone as if the big man instruct a lightning ball he shouted at me if you don’t give me $2000 I will torture granny Wong I have to say yes he said give me three days and I’ll tell you where I am.

Now that I know where the gangsters live, I called the police at once, and the police are like a swarm of angry bees on the big armor car and at any moment they’re going to attack the gangsters. I noticed that the gangsters are very good at hiding ,even the inferred thermal imager can’t find them. They just hide it in the gigantic park and ambushed if they saw cops getting close .what they did to not let the detectors find them is by putting on ice clothes . The head of the police notice is this first as the last thought he let the policeman to get the barn on fire and burn all these gangsters and let granny out. at this first strategy worked out well but later did the gangster uses fire and made a wall of granite at their base to stop the cops, even if they can see them in the sensor they can shoot them because granny is in the middle of them .finally all of the police burst out of this wall and got all of the gangsters, and of course, granny wang. . She looked very ill and had a great fever. They are very thankful that the gangster didn’t hurt her .

Finally, all of the gangsters at the base has her dead or taken away by the cops. All of them are in the jail and trying to escape they can’t because they’re locked up. Anyone had a great time at the big party. All the cops are very grateful that granny won is successfully saved by them for that. I got a badge here of the folks. I’m proud of myself the attitude that I also got the confident award in school when I got on the stage everybody yelled out all things to the cops, Tyrone and granny won, and that moment I felt so such a exhilarated. All of the people were shouting and applause that I got such an honor. The whole school was proud of me and what I did.

In this story, I learnt a moral

that you have to be confident about anything no matter how much time and money is put in there. You have to be confident in yourself believe yourself don’t lose heart and what you do keep doing it and you finally get to the top and become the winner of the whole thing.Tyrone G5C3. CONFIDENT AWARD