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Range of support padlets from partner services

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Range of support padlets from partner services

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The Social Communication Pathway

Sleep

CAPS padlet

Parent wellbeing support padlet

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The Social Communication Pathway Padlet 

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The Social Communication Pathway Padlet 

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In Manchester, the NHS autism assessment service is called the Social Communication Pathway (SCP). It is part of Manchester’s Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). The Social Communication Pathway Padlet contains lots information and resources which might be useful both before and after an assessment.

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The Social Communication Pathway Padlet (for young people)

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The Social Communication Pathway Padlet (for young people)

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CAPS is a multi-agency, multi-disciplinary partnership between MFT, MCC, Big Life, Family Action and Home Start. We are a City-Wide team comprising of Group leaders, Clinical Psychologists, Specialist Parent Infant Mental health Health visitors and Midwives, Assistant Psychologists and Administrators. Our groups are delivered by a range of professionals from the team and may involve collaborations with Outreach workers.

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Understanding Sensory Processing Difficulties 

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Understanding Sensory Processing Difficulties 

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Our eyes take in information from the world which then goes to the brain. This is not the same as how well we see. If you have concerns about your child's ability to see things properly please take them to an optician for an eye test. Some people might become overwhelmed by visual information. They might find lights too bright or a room too distracting to work. They might have to close or cover their eyes. Other people might not notice things in the environment. They might seek out visual input like shiny, spinning toys or stare at things intensely.

If you think your child or young person processes visual information differently you can:

Our auditory system is our sense of hearing. We take information in from our ears. Some children might become overwhelmed or upset by lots of noise. This is common and part of normal development, but some people can remain sensitive to noise. This can stop them taking part in activities. Some people might seek out noise. They might listen to music or watch the TV with the volume turned up. Listening to the world around us helps us make sense of where we are.

If you think your child or young person processes sound differently you can:

Our touch system picks up information about our environment from sensors in our skin. These give us information about differences in things we touch. Some people can be very sensitive to touch. They might dislike certain textures or labels and seams inside clothing. Other people might not notice touch. They don't notice when their shoes are two sizes too small or may feel pain differently.

If you think your child or young person feels touch differently you can:

Our senses of smell and taste are closely linked, as they follow the same pathway through the brain. Some people might become upset by smells that no one else can smell. Other people might seek out smells and smell objects or people. Processing smell differently can make us refuse to eat different food. We all have definite sensory preferences about tastes we like or dislike. Some people might only eat bland food and find it difficult to eat different foods so have a limited diet. Other people might choose to eat intense flavours like spicy or sour foods. They might lick objects which are not food.

If you feel your child or young person processes taste or smell differently you can:

Proprioception is the awareness of body position and movement or knowing where your body is in space. Proprioceptive receptors are in the muscles and joints. They send messages to the brain to tell it where your body parts are in space. They tell you how much force or pressure your muscles are using. This helps us to know which position our body is in. Some people might bump or crash into things or hold their pencil too tightly. They might be too rough when playing with friends or chew on objects like clothing or ends of pencils.

If you feel your child or young person processes proprioceptive information differently you can:

The vestibular system gives us information about balance and movement. When your head and body move, fluid in your inner ear moves too. This gives your brain information about how you are moving. Some people process vestibular information differently. They might spin or move more than other people. Other people might avoid lots of movement. They might not like it when their feet leave the ground.

If you think your child or young person processes balance and movement information differently you can:

Sense of how the body is feeling

Interoception is the sensory system which gives us information about the internal sensations in the body and how they link with emotions. It helps us work out how the body is feeling.

The receptors for this system are throughout the body in organs like the heart, lungs, stomach, bladder and skin. They pick up information and send it to the brain where it is translated into feelings relating to body comfort like hunger, needing the toilet, sleep, being too hot/too cold. It also helps us feel our emotions.

If you process this information differently you might:

Not know when you are full or when you are hungry/thirsty

Not know when you need to go to the toilet

Not know when you are too hot

Not recognise when we are anxious

Not know when we are embarrassed

Not know when we are frustrated

If you have difficulty understanding these signals it could be because of how you process interoceptive input. There are however lots of different reasons why you might have difficulty understanding these signals. If you have any concerns about other possible causes please speak to your GP or Health Visitor.

What you can do:

There are still lots of discussion about what helps improve interoception. There is no good evidence that any particular strategy is effective. There is some evidence that mindfulness can help. It is important to rule out any possible underlying medical causes for the issues first if you are concerned.

Things which may help:

Mindfulness techniques likebody scanning

Commenting on different feelings e.g. noticing the difference between hot and cold hands or slow/fast heart rate at different times of the day

Don't assume because they have noticed a body signal they know what it means or what to do about it. Always check. Ask them how it feels and what they think it means and what they can do about it. It is important to help your child or young person to notice the body signal first. Where do they feel it and what does it feel like? Then talk about what it might mean. You can then help them to work out what they can do about the signal. Once they have acted upon it encourage them to notice the difference in how they feel. This will help them to recognise this signal when it happens in the future, make the connection to a feeling and remember what they did to feel more comfortable. Remember this will take lots of practice and support from an adult.

For example:

Noticethe body signal e.g. 'pain' or pressure in tummy

Connectthe signal with a feeling - might need to go to the toilet

Regulatetake action-e.g. go to the toilet

Outcome- feels more comfortable

Help them make the connection so that the next time they have that feeling they are more confident in knowing what it means.

Draw an outline of a body and identify words that might go with that body part. Help your child work out what words they associate with sensations- remember they might not be the same ones you would use!

How my body feels when it is hungry
Notice: my brain feels fuzzy, my muscles feel shaky and my tummy is rumbling.

Connect: I usually notice these feelings together when I'm hungry.

Regulate: I'll eat something.
How my body feels when it is angry
Outcome: I notice the fuzzy head, shaky muscles and rumbling tummy have gone. I was right! I must have been hungry.

Notice: my brain feels swirly, my muscles feel tense, my heart is beating fast and my breathing is fast. My skin is hot and sweaty.

Connect: I usually notice these feelings together when I'm angry.

Regulate: I know this feeling will pass. I won't feel like this forever. I will try deep breathing and finding a quiet space. This usually helps me.

Outcome: I notice the feelings are gone.

Social stories can be used to support interoception differences.

Use visuals and add toilet breaks to your visual timetable at regular times if your child has difficulty knowing when they need to go to the toilet.

Use visuals to remind your child to drink if they often do not read their body's signal that it is thirsty.

For older children and young people setting a phone or watch alarm to vibrate as a reminder e.g. to go to the toilet, take a drink, eat could also be useful.

Listening to my Body by Gabi Garcia
For younger children:

Sometimes children and young people can find it difficult to take part in eating. This can be for lots of reasons. There are some things you can try at home which might help.

Have a look at our resources to find out how you can help your child to take part in eating at home.

If you think your child or young person has difficulty with eating because they process sensory information differently then you can

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Everybody's sensory systems develop at different rates, and some people are more sensitive to certain sensory information than others.

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Videos your child can follow to support practice of daily living skills such as buttoning shirt, opening bottles

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This video library contains movement demonstrations for various different everyday movement skills that dyspraxic children want to learn.

All the demonstrations are performed by typically developing children and are recorded from a first-person viewpoint. This means that the movements and viewpoints in the videos closely match what children see when doing these movements for themselves. There are also left- and right-handed versions of each video to allow dyspraxic children to match each video to their handedness.

How to use the video library

The video library was created to help dyspraxic children learn everyday movement skills, but it is free to use for anyone who might find the videos helpful.

To use the library, search the thumbnail images above to see the different movement skills videos available. Click the image to access the videos, then select either the right-handed or left-handed option.

When the videos play, watch the movements carefully and pay attention to how the person in the video moves. Then have a go at practicing the skill yourself, trying to copy the movement shown in the video. You can re-watch the videos and practice the skills as often as you need.

As well as watching the movements, you might find it helpful to imagine that you are the person in the video and to imagine the feeling of doing each movement as you watch it. We also encourage you to hold the objects shown in the videos as you watch them where possible.

This website is a collaboration between:

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About the video library This video library contains movement demonstrations for various different everyday movement skills that dyspraxic children want to learn. All the demonstrations are performed by typically developing [...]

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Regular fit, Button fastening, Short sleeve, Developed to make dressing for school easier, quicker and more comfortable for both parents and children

Keep Away From Fire

Recycled Polyester

Kinder to the environment

65% polyester, 35% cotton (exclusive of trimmings)

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3pk Boys' Easy Dressing Easy Iron School Shirts (3-18 Yrs) | M&S Collection | M&S

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Regular fit, Button fastening, Short sleeve, Developed to make dressing for school easier, quicker and more comfortable for both parents and children Keep Away From Fire Recycled Polyester Kinder to the environment 65% polyester, 35% cotton (exclusive of trimmings)

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We fund lots of things - large and small - to keep people living independently, at home. This is a free service.

Equipment to make life easier, day-to-day. If you know what you want, or it's just a simple piece of equipment (for your kitchen or bathroom, for example) we can sometimes arrange it by phone, deliver it, or have it ready to collect. Or we'll come and see you at home to help assess what you need.

Minor adaptations to keep you doing things for yourself. We fund simple changes such as lever taps, handrails and half-steps that make it safer and easier to use your home. Just get in touch to arrange this free service.

Major adaptations. You can get changes in your home such as ramps, walk-in showers, wet rooms and stairlifts through a Disabled Facilities Grant. Call us and we'll come to discuss what you need.

There could be lots of other things to help you keep doing what you do, your way, including alarms to let someone know if you need help. Just call us to discuss on 0161 234 5001 or email mcsreply@manchester.gov.uk

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Equipment and adaptations to help you live independently | Equipment and adaptations to help you live independently | Manchester City Council

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We fund lots of things - large and small - to keep people living independently, at home. This is a free service. Equipment to make life easier, day-to-day. If you know what you want, or it's just a simple piece of equipment (for your kitchen or bathroom, for example) we can sometimes arrange it by phone, deliver it, or have it ready to collect.

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Register to access lots of online videos and supporting tools for professionals and parents/carers

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ADHD Support and Resources | Witherslack - Witherslack Group

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A library of free ADHD support & resources created by SEN professionals, for parents & carers supporting children with ADHD.

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Challenging behaviour is often perceived as a ‘problem’ to be ‘treated’. The problem is seen as being part of the child or adult rather than focussing on what needs to change around the individual, such as their environment or how people support them.

We offer a range of resources offering support and information about challenging behaviour and connected issues.

Below are nine links which take you to different sections of our site, offering information and guidance on everything from positive behaviour support to rights and the law.

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An introduction to challenging behaviour

'Challenging behaviour' is how we talk about a range of behaviours which some people with severe learning disabilities may display to get needs met.

Behaviours might be things like:

Hurting others (e.g. hair pulling, hitting, head-butting)

Self-injury (e.g. head banging, eye poking, hand biting)

Destructive behaviours (e.g. throwing things, breaking furniture, tearing things up)

Why do people display challenging behaviour?

Most children without learning disabilities display lots of challenging behaviour during the 'terrible twos,' but usually this doesn't last because most 2-year olds develop a range of communication and social skills which enable them to get what they want and need more easily. Many children with learning disabilities do not develop these skills and are left with the same needs as other children their age but are much less able to get them met - Peter McGill, Tizard Centre, University of Kent

Many challenging behaviours are effective ways for a person with learning disability to control what is going on around them.
Read our position statement to see what the CBF does and how we can support you
How can the Challenging Behaviour Foundation help?
Download formal definitions of the term challenging behaviour
Behaviour described as challenging can have a significant impact, not only on the individual with learning disabilities themselves, but also family and friends caring for that person.
An introduction to challenging behaviour Challenging behaviour - supporting change Short video clips from family carers/professionals about challenging behaviour
More information

Watch our videos

Quick Read Challenging Behaviour Guide
Read or download Quick Read Challenging Behaviour Guide
This quick read challenging behaviour guide gives tips and strategies to help you and your family member during a period of new or increased challenging behaviour.

It will give you a quick start to using Positive Behaviour Support principles to reduce challenging behaviour. In reality there will be times when your best efforts cannot prevent a crisis, so there are also tips to plan how to respond.
Read or download Understanding Challenging Behaviour and Getting Advice and Support
Meeting the Challenge guide

Read the first of our Meeting the Challenge guides on 'Understanding challenging behaviour and getting advice and support', produced by the Challenging Behaviour Foundation, alongside Mencap and Respond. This factsheet provides information and signposting to help you understand challenging behaviour and how to go about getting support for your family member.

CBF's information sheets relating to challenging behaviour

We have a series of three information sheets relating to challenging behaviour. Click on the links below to read the summaries or download the complete information sheets.

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'Challenging behaviour' is how we talk about a range of behaviours which some people with severe learning disabilities may display when their needs aren't being met.

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The Parent and Carer (PACS) project, established in October 2023, is dedicated to supporting parents and carers in Greater Manchester who are concerned about their child or worried they may be at risk of violence.

As parents and caregivers, we all worry about our children from time to time, but when a concern is troubling you it can be difficult to know where to turn. We have listened to parents and our research shows that caregivers are looking for one-to-one support, peer support, advice and guidance when their child’s behaviour is becoming a concern.

Request a call back or make a referral and a member of the team will arrange a face-to-face appointment to get you started.

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The Parent and Carer (PACS) project, established in October 2023, is dedicated to supporting parents and carers in Greater Manchester who are concerned about their child or worried they may be at risk of violence.
As parents and caregivers, we all worry about our children from time to time, but when a concern is troubling you it can be difficult to know where to turn. We have listened to parents and our research shows that caregivers are looking for one-to-one support, peer support, advice and guidance when their child's behaviour is becoming a concern.

Request a call back or make a referral and a member of the team will arrange a face-to-face appointment to get you started.

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Oasis PACS is a support service for Parents and Carers that are concerned about their child or worried that they may be a risk.

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YoungMinds Supporting Parents with challenging behaviour 

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YoungMinds Supporting Parents with challenging behaviour 

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If you're experiencing challenging behaviour from your child or young person, we have tips for what you can do and where to get help.

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Parenting is an incredibly rewarding and challenging experience.

At times, it can feel like a real roller coaster of emotions - particularly if your child or young person is behaving in ways that feel difficult to manage or understand.

If your child's behaviour is challenging at the moment, it might feel exhausting. But things can change. With support, both of you can experience a more positive family life. On this page, we've got lots of ideas and strategies to help you deal with difficult moments.

What is challenging behaviour?

Most children and young people will behave in challenging ways at some point. Feeling upset, angry, stressed or disappointed is a normal part of life. Because we develop our ability to manage our emotions as we grow up, children and young people do sometimes act out when they're going through big feelings. In response to their emotions, they may display a range of behaviours. It's normal for younger children to hit or 'have a tantrum' sometimes. And it's normal for teenagers to shout, lash out or storm out sometimes. Most children and teenagers will also push boundaries as they test their independence.

But sometimes, challenging behaviour can become more frequent and difficult to deal with. It may start to have an impact on someone's day-to-day quality of life, on relationships and learning at school, and on other family members.

Examples of challenging behaviour include:

having lots of angry outbursts or 'tantrums'

regularly shouting, swearing, hitting, biting or kicking

kicking, hitting, smashing or damaging things in the home

regularly refusing boundaries and routines, including not wanting to respond to reasonable requests

being impulsive and taking physical risks

blaming others for their behaviour

bullying or being unkind towards others

persistently getting into trouble at school

refusing to engage in conversations about what's going on

Why do children and young people behave in challenging ways?

An iceberg submerged in water, with the text 'When we seem angry or aggressive, there are often other feelings hidden under the surface'. The words Angry and Aggressive are displayed on the section of the iceberg above the water, and the words Worried, Hurt, Scared, Lonely, Stressed, Overwhelmed, Ashamed, Ignored, Sad are displayed on the iceberg below the water.

The way your child behaves is a communication about how they're feeling.

When your child is acting out, it can be helpful to think about the image of an iceberg. We only see the top of an iceberg because most of it is underwater. Similarly, when your child is behaving in challenging ways, there will be feelings going on under the surface that you cannot see. Your child may not be aware of these feelings and may need your help to talk about them.

Underneath their behaviour, a child or young person may be feeling angry, tired, stressed, anxious, confused, hurt, jealous, bored or something else. Whatever's going on, try to remember that the behaviour you see on the surface is not the whole story.

Talking to your child about their behaviour

If your child is acting out, starting a conversation about what's going on can often feel like the hardest bit. Your child might not want to talk, or they might find it hard to recognise that there is a problem.

Starting a conversation while doing an activity together is a good strategy to try. This can help your child to relax by making it feel like less of a 'big chat'. Depending on your child's age, you could go for a walk, cook or bake together, or do something creative like colouring. Or you could start a conversation while travelling somewhere together.

If your child cannot talk at the moment, you could start a conversation by text or write them a letter instead.

Whether you're talking in-person or in another way, our tips below can help you to have a positive conversation with your child.

Try to use simple phrases such as:

"I notice there is a lot of shouting happening."

"I think something might be upsetting you."

"I feel worried you're not happy."

"I need you to know you can talk to me about what's going on."

Be specific about the behaviour you have noticed, without using labels or negative words such as 'naughty', 'bad behaviour' or 'horrible'.

Tell your child that it's normal to feel angry, frustrated or upset, but it's not okay to express it in this way.

Helping your child to manage their behaviour

Having some behaviour management strategies in mind can help you to feel more confident. Below are some things you can try to help your child manage their behaviour. Have a go at some different strategies until you find what works for you and your child. Be patient if new strategies do not seem to work straightaway. It often does take a bit of time for change to happen, and for your child to get used to things.

Remembering to explain why can help - so rather than just shouting 'sit down' at the table, I try to let them know that I'd like them to sit down so we can enjoy eating and that we can go and play when we've finished.

Challenging behaviour is exhausting and demoralising. In our family it often leads to everyone feeling less positive and only picking out the negative behaviours, which is so hard not to do. When we notice that we have all gotten stuck in a negative rut, we make an effort to pick up on and name some positives, however small, and this helps us move through a difficult time.

Depending on their age, some of these strategies might help your child to calm down:

drawing or painting

doing something active like running or their favourite sport

listening to music

having some time alone

reading a book

writing

cooking or baking

making something out of playdough or Lego

Having a list of coping strategies will help them to build up a bank of tools they can use when they're struggling.

Reading stories together that talk about feelings has helped my child get used to the words - giving them a way to talk about positive and difficult things.

It's completely normal to feel frustrated, angry, overwhelmed or hurt when your child is behaving in challenging ways. But try not to react or argue back, as this will only escalate the situation.

If you feel yourself running out of patience and it is safe to do so, it's okay to walk away for a few minutes to calm down. This is actually a positive strategy your child can learn from you when they see you doing it. After a particular incident, make sure both of you have some space before you try to talk about what has happened.

Finding professional support for your child

A counsellor or therapist can support your child to understand and manage their feelings and behaviour. Counsellors working with younger children will usually do this through play and arts activities.

Have a look at our guide to counselling and therapy to find out how you can access services in your area.

Be open with the school about the challenges you are experiencing and ask them for advice. Lots of primary and secondary schools provide extra support like mentoring, pastoral check-ins, learning support, peer buddying, and clubs and activities.

Whether they are at primary or secondary school, you might have noticed that something at school is triggering your child's behaviour. This could be their relationships with their peers, their schoolwork or learning, or the school environment. If this is the case, work with the school to address this. You can find information and advice to help you do this in our guide to school anxiety.

If you are worried that your child is behaving in challenging ways because they are struggling with their mental health, it's a good idea to speak to a GP. If you have a younger child, you can speak to the GP yourself to get information and advice. If you have a teenager, you can encourage them to make an appointment or ask them to go to an appointment with you.

The GP can discuss what's happening and make suggestions for what might help. They can also make a referral to the NHS mental health service for children and young people, called CAMHS.

You can find out more about how GPs can help in our guide to getting support from the GP.

Sometimes, children and young people behave in challenging ways when they have an additional need, neurodiverse condition, learning disability or developmental difficulty that has not been recognised. This can include dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism, ADHD, or difficulties hearing or speaking. In this situation, they may be acting out because their needs are not understood at home or school.

If you think your child might have an additional need, speak to your GP, or to your child's teacher, pastoral lead or SENCO. They can make a referral for an assessment. It's helpful to make a log of the behaviour you have noticed so that you can provide evidence when communicating with professionals.

If your child is diagnosed with an additional need, you can ask the professionals supporting them about parenting strategies that will best suit them.

You can find out more about the support available in our guide to getting mental health support.

Looking after yourself

Supporting a child who is behaving in challenging ways can be an exhausting task. If things are tough at the moment, don't be hard on yourself or your abilities as a parent. While it's normal to feel upset when your child is acting out, often it is not about you. Like us, children and young people take things out on those they feel closest to and safest with. So try not to take it personally. Keep doing the things that help you re-charge and ask for support when you need it.

You might also find it helpful to reach out to other parents. It can be very reassuring to hear what they are struggling with and how they handle difficult situations. They can also be someone who gets it when you need to talk.

You can connect with other parents by:

reaching out to family and friends

accessing peer and group parent support through Parenting Mental Health

joining Facebook groups or other online groups

setting up your own parent support group using our guide

You might also find helpful...

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.
This page was reviewed in July 2023. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with challenging behaviour. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Challenging Behaviour | Parents' Guide To Support

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Read our advice on what to do about your child or young person's challenging behaviour, including behaviour management strategies to help you deal with it.

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Managing aggression in your children

It is important to try and set some time aside to find out if they are struggling with this, it might not be easy for them to open up straight away and you may have to keep approaching them gently until they can open up. You might want to leave a book for them to write their feelings in if they do find it hard to talk. If they are not much of a writer, maybe give them a memory stick and they can store their thoughts digitally. Let them know that you love them very much and are there for them but need them to meet you halfway. You can ask them questions that will help them to explore their anger, like how it makes them feel when they hit that point, how it makes them feel after, etc.

Feeling angry and upset at times is natural and acceptable and most people do at some point or another, so let your child know this. Try to acknowledge their feelings, but set limits: "I know you feel angry, but I don't want to see any hitting; biting; shouting or swearing."

Keep a diary so you can write down the incidents as there may be a pattern and note down the triggers. Are there particular events that set your child off? If you start to see when, you can sometimes work out why.

If children see problems solved with raised voices or fists, they learn to follow suit. If you want to stop a child being violent, you may first have to address what is happening around them, it may be difficult to explore this but if there is conflict in your family life or perhaps communication is often through shouting, they may have learned this behaviour.

Learn how to defuse an angry situation. Lower your voice instead of shouting and look them in the eye. Talk with and listen to your child when they're calm. Look at why they might be feeling bad before looking at what they may do to control their behaviour.

You can't wave a magic wand and vanish away a child's unhappy feelings. What you can do is help them learn how to manage what they do about them. So encourage them to say, "I feel angry/left out/put down", instead of hitting out.

It isn't easy loving or showing affection for a child who is being hurtful. But they need to be shown that they are acceptable. Separate who they are from what they do by saying, "I love you and always will, but I don't love what you're doing."

Be positive and praise them when they do well. Blaming, shaming, or punishing children can make them feel worse about themselves and so even more aggressive.

Further resources

Coping with a potentially violent child is very challenging and no parent should expect to have to do this alone. You can get support from us directly from one of our family support workers via our helpline on 0808 800 2222, or you can email us at askus@familylives.org.uk or talk to us online via our service.
Watch our video on dealing with difficult behaviour from your child or teen

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Challenging behaviour in children can be hard for a parent, learn how to manage this by reading our advice.

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Family Lives - Parent Video: Managing difficult behaviours from your teen

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Family Lives - Parent Video: Managing difficult behaviours from your teen

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Dealing with difficult behaviour from your older child or teenager

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Family Lives

Emotional support, information, advice and guidance on any aspect of parenting and family life.

Opening times:

9am - 9pm, Monday to Friday; 10am - 3pm at weekends

0808 800 2222

askus@familylives.org.uk

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Parenting tips for parents and carers of primary-aged children. Website has advice about sibling relationships, setting boundaries, communicating limits and dealing with big emotions.

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Parenting Smart offers practical advice for parents and carers of children aged 5-11. All of our content is created by Place2Be's parenting experts. It's based on evidence and their experiences working with children, young people and their families.

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Parenting support to help your child with their emotional responses and de-escalating meltdowns.

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My child has meltdowns | Place2Be's Parenting Smart

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Supporting Children With SEN: Managing Anxiety Together

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Discover practical strategies for parents to support their child’s anxiety, create a calm, safe space during overwhelming moments, and teach self-soothing and self-calming skills.

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My child is anxious | Place2Be's Parenting Smart

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If your child is struggling with worry or anxiety, here are some ways you can support them and places you can get help

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear or unease. It is often experienced as a combination of thoughts, feelings and physical sensations in our body.

All children and young people feel worried sometimes. This is a normal, human reaction to things that feel stressful. For example, before an exam a young person may feel more worried than usual. But they will soon feel calmer after the stressful event has passed.

Anxiety becomes a problem when a child or young person feels stuck in it. When this happens, it can become an overwhelming experience. It can also affect their daily life and limit the things they feel able to do.

If your child or young person is struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do to help them. We've got advice to help you provide reassuring support, work on strategies together and find professional help if they need it.

What makes young people anxious?

A child or young person may be anxious for different reasons. Feeling a bit more worried sometimes is normal and there is not always a clear reason for this. But if your child is feeling unmanageable amounts of anxiety, this is often a sign that something in their life isn't quite right. They may need support to work out what the problem is.

This video by St Catherine's College is a useful way of understanding how stress and anxiety might build up in a person's life.

The following kinds of things can make some children and young people feel anxious:

finding school difficult or experiencing school anxiety

being around someone else who is very anxious, such as a parent

going through a significant change, such as moving house, parents separating or changing school

the death or illness of a close family member or friend

having lots of responsibility, for example caring for other people in their family

experiencing family stress around things like housing, money and debt

going through experiences in which they do not feel safe, such as being bullied, witnessing or experiencing abuse, or experiencing discrimination such as racism, homophobia or transphobia

not getting the right support or having their needs recognised if they have a neurodiverse condition such as autism or ADHD

Signs of anxiety in children and young people

Anxiety often affects our body, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. A child or young person who is struggling with anxiety may also behave differently or start using coping mechanisms to try to manage or avoid the anxiety. Below are some of the signs to look out for in children and young people.

Young people share their experience of anxiety.

How to help your child or young person when they feel panicky

In a very anxious moment, your child or young person may feel frightened or worried about having a panic attack. If this happens, focus on helping them to calm down and feel safe. The strategies below can help.

Breathe slowly and deeply together

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A hand with five fingers spread. A pointed finger shows instructions for moving around each finger with the words 'Breathe in' as you move upwards, and 'Breathe out' as you move downwards.

Together, hold your hands out in front of you. Trace the outline of each of your fingers slowly with your other hand. Breathe in as you go up each finger, and out as you come down. Move and breathe as slowly as feels comfortable. Over time, encourage your child or young person to breathe out for one or two counts longer than they breathe in. This can help their body to relax.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Try using all five senses together

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A picture of eyes, an ear, a hand, a nose and a mouth. Text reads next to each one: "5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can touch. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste."

Connecting with what we can see, touch, hear, smell and taste is sometimes called 'grounding'. Doing grounding techniques can make us feel more present and bring us back into our body. This can reduce the intensity of our anxiety. Think together about what they can see, touch, hear, smell and taste.

For example, they might notice: five different colours; four soft things in the room; three sounds like cars going past the window or the noise of the washing machine; two things they can smell, like a scented candle or a piece of fruit; and one thing they find soothing to eat.

If you would like to have a copy of this technique with you, you can download and print our resource.

Remember, you don't need to do all of these things each time. Everyone is different, and it's about figuring out which of these strategies suits them best.

After they have calmed down, it can help to remind them that the panicky feeling did not last forever. They were able to do things that helped and the feeling stopped.

How to help your child or young person manage their anxiety

As well as managing panicky moments, your child or young person can also learn how to deal with their anxiety over the longer-term.

Many of these strategies are about helping them to understand how their anxiety works and what helps them. The more confident they feel about this, the more they will believe in their ability to cope. This can make anxiety feel more manageable.

As you think about strategies you might try, always remind yourself you're doing your best. It's natural to feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes. But remember, you do not need to try five different things at once. Have a look through these suggestions and pick one or two things you think might help.

There are some daily activities that are really important for our mental health. These are:

physical exercise, or some movement

sleeping well

eating healthily

drinking water

connecting and spending quality time with loved ones

They might sound simple, but they can have a big effect on our mood. Regular exercise can be particularly important because it can help to reduce feelings of anxiety in the body. It doesn't have to be much - walking or gentle yoga can help.

If you have a teenager or young adult, reducing alcohol and caffeinated drinks such as coffee can help. This is because they can trigger the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Some children and young people will need support from a mental health professional. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

Young people tell us it also helps to...

think about something you're looking forward to

imagine your thoughts leaving your brain and floating off into the sky

keep yourself occupied

have time out

reflect on how you're feeling

talk to other people you trust

remind yourself you're not alone - odds are someone in your friendship circle has anxiety or depression too

Finding professional help

You might also find helpful...

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips and Advice

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If your child or teenager is struggling with anxiety, we've got information about signs and treatment, and practical strategies you can do together.

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Parental Anxiety Support Booklet - Supporting your child

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Parental Anxiety Support Booklet - Supporting your child

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If your child is experiencing high levels of anxiety, it can be worrying for you as a parent or carer.

This booklet looks at anxiety, its impact while offering practical ideas for your child – and you – to deal with this common but distressing experience.

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Teaching your child to use the toilet correctly can be a difficult task, whether they are on the autism spectrum or not. But if your child is autistic, the process of developing a toilet routine can take longer, and involve its own particular challenges. This guide provides some useful steps that will hopefully make your toilet training a success.
When to start

There is a temptation to delay toilet training with autistic children. However, clinical experience and research is now saying that starting earlier is better (before the age of two). However, it is vital to say that it is never too early or too late to start the preparation for toilet training. The ERIC website has some great tips around this.

Developing a toileting routine

Remember that independent toileting is the ultimate aim and may take many months but there will be many small steps and successes along the way. As well as physical factors associated with toilet training, there are social factors to consider. It is rare for an autistic child to have the social motivation to want to be like mummy/daddy/friend and use the toilet. After using nappies for a number of years, your child might not see the point in starting to use the toilet. It's important to remember that all children are different and they will not all respond to the same teaching techniques.

Children on the autism spectrum often like routine. You can build upon this desire for predictability to develop a successful toilet training routine.

When changing your child's nappy, do this where the toilet is so they can start relating toileting activities to the bathroom.

Your child may behave differently than normal when their routine is changed so let everyone who cares for them know why there could be a change in behaviour. It is often easier not to use a potty as part of toilet training to avoid a possibly difficult change from potty to toilet.

Ensure everyone working with your child starts toilet training at the same time and follows your agreed approach. Send in any equipment to nursery/school which you use at home, for example a toilet seat they may use to make the seat smaller. Also remember to send spare clothes, plastic bags to put any wet clothes in and wet wipes. It is important that you have clear lines of communication during this time so having a home/school book to share concerns and successes is vital.

Observe your child over a few days to see when they do a wee or a poo. Identifying a regular pattern can help you take your child to the toilet with an increased likelihood of them doing a wee or poo. This then leads to positive reinforcement.

Continue to take your child at set times based on your observations. If they wet themselves at another time, take them to the toilet as quickly as possible and try to get them there so some of the wee goes into the toilet. Ignore the wetting and positively reinforce that the wee has gone into the toilet and continue the rest of the toileting routine.

Use a visual sequence beside the toilet to help your child understand what is expected of them, for example: trousers down, pants down, sit on the toilet, wee/poo in the toilet, wipe (you may need to show how many squares of paper to take), pants up, trousers up, flush toilet, wash hands. The sequence can either be in the form of photographs, pictures or the written word - whatever is most suitable and motivating for your child. You may need to create a way of removing or covering over each symbol as the step is completed to show that it is finished and to move on to the next step. There are some examples of visual supports on the Do2Learn website.

Make sure any pictures or instructions are very clear so there is no misunderstanding. For example, if you are teaching your son to stand and wee in the toilet, show an outline drawing of him standing and weeing in the toilet. If you are teaching sitting, show a picture of him sitting and weeing in the toilet.

Show your child a photo or drawing of the toilet and say 'your child's name, toilet', take them into the toilet, follow your visual sequence for undressing and sit your child on the toilet. Even if they do not open their bowel or bladder, continue to follow the visual sequence as if they had.

Use a laminated visual sequence above the sink at eye level for hand washing.

Teach toileting as a whole routine from communicating the need to go to the toilet, using the toilet, to drying hands, rather than just sitting on the toilet.

Keep the sequence of behaviours the same every time. Often when an activity is anticipated, the child is more receptive to it.

Concentrate on tackling one behaviour at a time; it's very difficult to change two behaviours at once.

Decide whether or not and how to praise your child for successfully following the toileting routine. Some children enjoy and respond to social praise ('well done', or a tickle), others respond better to an object. Some children find praise difficult and keeping a calm, structured routine with a preferred activity after toileting may work better.

Dressing and undressing

Dress your child in comfortable clothes they can easily manage themselves such as elasticated waistbands on trousers and skirts or dresses that are not too long.

Motivate your child to wear underwear by buying pants with their favourite cartoon or television programme characters on them.

Use 'backward chaining' to teach new skills. This involves breaking a skill down into smaller steps, teaching the last stage of the sequence first. So if you were teaching your child to pull up his trousers, you would pull them up to his hips and then he would pull them up to his waist. Next time, you would pull them up to just under his hips and he would pull them over his hips and waist. This is a particularly good way of teaching new skills as it raises your child's self-esteem as they have taken the final step of the task themselves to complete the sequence.

Hand washing

Follow the same steps each time: sleeves up, tap on, wet hands, squirt soap, rub hands together, rinse hands, turn off tap, shake hands, dry hands.

Stand behind your child and physically prompt them if necessary, slowly withdrawing.

Avoid using verbal prompts as your child can become dependent on these without you realising. Instead let your child refer to a visual sequence as a reminder.

You may wish to teach your child to use the cold tap only. Beware that if you teach them to use the hot tap independently at home, when they go into other settings and wash their hands, the water may be too hot and could burn them.

Boys - sit or stand?

When deciding whether to teach a boy to sit or stand to urinate, ask yourself the following questions:

Can they distinguish between when they want to wee and poo?

Do they have the co-ordination, focus and control needed to aim?

If they learn by imitation, is there someone they can watch?

If the answer to any of the above is 'yes', then they are probably able to be taught to stand to urinate. To start teaching them to aim, it can be useful to put a piece of cereal (preferably one they don't eat as this could lead to confusion) down the toilet so they have something to aim for and concentrate on. You can also purchase a variety of fun toilet target stickers online.

Bowel control

Bowel control is usually learnt after bladder control. Some children can find bowel movements very frightening and not understand what is happening. It can help to get a book with pictures to explain the digestion process.

Some children find the feel of a full nappy comforting, and may enjoy the sensory feeling of the weight of the nappy. Find alternative ways to replace these feelings so you can continue toilet training. Give your child a means of requesting the activity eg being wrapped in a warm, heavy blanket and fit it into their routine.

Sit your child on the toilet, keep the nappy on but with a hole cut in the bottom, slowly cut away the nappy each time until they are able to go without the nappy at all. To start with, they will still have the feeling of a security around their waist which in turn will enable them to feel relaxed enough to poo on the toilet.

Habit training

Some children are toilet trained through habit. Habit training is effective for children who may: lack awareness, not understand the significance or meaning related to physical sensations, be limited by decreased or absent physical sensations or have unsuccessfully tried toilet training before.

Habit training involves training the body to go at set times. Take your child to the toilet at set times throughout the day, every day.

As before, observe your child to discover the best times to take them to the toilet.

Make sure your child feels relaxed enough to open their bladder/bowels while they sit on the toilet. Having the tap running in the background can help enable your child to wee for example.

Sometimes having a toy to handle - not one which causes excitement - can be useful to both keep your child on the toilet and relax them. Keep certain toys/books for just when they are sitting on the toilet.

If your child lacks awareness or sensation, they may have to be taught a strategy before getting off the toilet, to avoid accidentally weeing on the floor. Encourage them to slowly count to ten out loud when they have finished weeing before allowing them to get up, or give them a sand timer to look at.

To help your child to independently manage their own toileting routine when they are older, you can buy watches which you can set to vibrate at certain times throughout the day. You can then teach your child when the watch vibrates, they are to go to the toilet.

Environment

Ensure the bathroom is a calm, relaxing environment to encourage independence and success with the complete toileting routine.

Remove all distractions which are not associated with toileting to help your child understand what is expected of them while in the toilet.

Make the bathroom as comfortable as possible, adding foot supports, side rails and a smaller toilet seat if necessary.

Encourage independence by ensuring that everything in the bathroom is at the right level for your child eg soap and towels.

Think about your child's sensory needs and make changes to reduce their anxiety. Does the soap smell too strong for them? Does the noise of the extractor fan bother them? Does the water temperature need to be adjusted? Is the lighting too bright?

Make sure your child can sit comfortably on the toilet with hips and knees flexed at a 90 degree angle and have feet flat on a secure object.

Night-time

Once your child is mostly dry during the day you will be able to start night-time toilet training.

Have a set bedtime routine which does not change with weekends or holidays.

Limit the amount your child eats and drinks before bed, having no fluid an hour before bedtime, but ensuring your child has enough fluid throughout the day.

Take your child to the toilet before they go to bed. They then may need to be taken once during the night. You could fit this in with your routine by taking them before you go to bed.

If they are unable to keep dry during the night, you may need to try different times in the night to take them.

Use products to protect bedding.

Schools and early years settings

Admission to school should not be refused simply because a child has difficulties with continence. A school that does this may be at risk of disability discrimination (alternative legislation operates in Northern Ireland).

Further tips

Giving a drink 10 to 15 minutes before toileting can help increase the chances of your child successfully doing a wee on the toilet but avoid giving too much as this creates an unnatural routine.

Decide if you are going to teach your child to shut the door as part of the whole toileting routine or only in certain situations.

Avoid using childlike terms for toileting as your child may find it difficult to change language later in life.

If your child has a fear of flushing the toilet, you may wish to remove this from the visual sequence and leave it until the end of the routine - after your child has dried their hands. They then may need to stand in the doorway while you flush the toilet and gradually stand closer each time until they are able to flush for themselves. Playing calming music to drown out the noise of the flush or explaining with pictures what makes the noise when the toilet is flushed may also help.

When your child is in a car, ensure they have a protector to sit on to stop the car seat from being soiled by accidents. Avoid drinks before long car journeys.

Be aware that some children will hold onto their wee/poo until they have their nappy put on, for example if they know they always have a nappy on before going in the car they may wait until it is put back to release their bowel/bladder.

A range of absorbent pants and swimwear for older children is available.

Once your child is toilet trained at home, you will want to teach them to use toilets when out. When visiting new places, show your child where the toilets are and use the same routine as you do at home. Use the same picture and toy or book they may have for toileting at home.

Some children smear their poo. Read our guide on smearing for strategies to try (link to new guide in behaviour section).

Further information

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Toileting - a guide for parents and carers

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This guide provides some useful steps to help make toilet training an autistic child a success.

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Tips for relaxing toilet sits

Webinar: Toilet training for children with additional needs

Social script

Visual schedule

Visual aids

Social Story

Podcast

Guidance on using nappies, pull-ups and pads

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Social scripts are a communication strategy to help support children's understanding of events, social situations and more. They help describe what to do and promote independence.

They are always positive and avoid placing blame on an individual.

Social scripts can provide a positive and clear way of describing going to the toilet, reducing frustrations and supporting your child's understanding.

You can download, print and personalise for your child by using your own photos and language that you use with your child.

There are 6 pages to print, on single sides. The flash cards can be cut out and stuck to card or laminated.

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Advice, resources and recomended products to support your child with toileting routines, including social stories, flash cards and videos.

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Toilet training - Down Syndrome or Learning disabilities

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Toilet training - Down Syndrome or Learning disabilities

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Toileting and children with additional needs - PARENT WORKSHOPS ONLINE VIDEOS

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Toileting and children with additional needs - PARENT WORKSHOPS ONLINE VIDEOS

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This page has a series of online learning sessions that have been specifically created to support families and professionals learn about continence management. Please take your time to watch through each session.

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Discover how to manage your child’s incontinence. Learn about day time and night time wetting as well as constipation, soiling and smearing.

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Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child’s needs and accessing services that meet the family's needs.

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Support and advice for parents and carers of autistic children, including support to develop a greater understanding of their child's needs and accessing services that meet the familys needs.

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An online support group for parents of autistic children

In this online support group alongside the friendship and non-judgemental support from fellow parents who genuinely understand, you will find:

Tips and advice - helping you to help your child

Regular guest speakers - ask your questions and learn from the experts in their field

Insight from the autistic community - learn about and understand autism from our children’s point of view

Resources – access a wide range of resources from communication aids to sensory strategies

Help with finding a support worker (For those in receipt of Direct Payments)

DLA Application Support - full and comprehensive support with completing and submitting your disability allowance form, ensuring a successful claim

Ran by Autism and Parent Support Advisor, Kelly-Anne Smith. Kelly has over 20 years’ experience of SEN both professionally and personally. This group helps with the tools, strategies and the knowledge to empower families assisting them with gaining the support and services needed for an inclusive and happy life.

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We aim to provide a supportive community where parents of autistic children can find valuable resources, information, and a sense of connection. We believe that every parent deserves easy access to valuable information and an understanding network to help their child and family thrive.
Whether you're a seasoned parent navigating the journey or a newcomer seeking guidance, you're not alone.

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Our mission at SENsational Life is to support and empower neurodiverse families; giving parents of autistic children the tools, strategies and knowledge to

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Sussex NHS - Autism parent/carer workshop

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Sussex NHS - Autism parent/carer workshop

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A parent and carer workshop on autism to help manage situations at home. This also contains useful resources that might be helpful either while you are waiting for CAMHS treatment, or as an alternative to CAMHS.

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Manchester City Council Autism Service/Group support Directory

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Manchester City Council Autism Service/Group support Directory

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Find support near you!

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Woodside Avenue London N10 3JA

Postal Point 440 Manchester M8 2GG

120 Dallam Lane Warrington Cheshire WA2 7LT

Oxford Road Manchester M13 9PL

2 Arlington Square Downshire Way Bracknell RG12 1WA

Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm

Keppel Building, Unit G5 Ashton Road West Failsworth Oldham M35 0EJ

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Service Listings | Help & Support Manchester

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Search results from Help & Support Manchester

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M9 ADHD Parent Support Group

A volunteer-run group for families in North Manchester (Charlestown, Cheetham, Crumpsall, Harpurhey, Higher Blackley) living with ADHD and autism. They offer peer support and information sharing.

Contact: m9adhdpsg@gmail.com

Facebook: M9 ADHD Parent Support Group.

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© Hampshire CAMHS 2025 Hampshire Specialist CAMHS services are now provided by Hampshire & IOW Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust

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Guidance on dentist visits for autistic adults, parents and carers of autistic people and dentists and dental workers.

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Understanding Autism Parent Support Pack

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Understanding Autism Parent Support Pack

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27 MARCH 2024

Our support pack for parents and carers of autistic children is filled with practical advice and guidance aimed to inform and empower.

In the pack, we explore:

The autism spectrum

The diagnostic process

The early signs of the condition

How age and gender impacts the presentation of autism

Strategies to support communication and relationships

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Access videos, articles, podcasts and guides to learn about the diagnostic process, presentations of autism, strategies to support autistic children, and more.

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The Manchester Local Offer brings together information in one place. It helps children and young people with SEND up to the age of 25 and their parents understand what services and support they can expect locally. This includes their statutory entitlements which are required by law. Watch our short film about Manchester Local Offer localoffer@manchester.gov.uk, 0161 219 2125.
Accessibility - Click on the orange circle on the top right to open the ReachDeck toolbar. (If you are on a mobile phone, you may need to swipe left to make it appear.) This provides a range of access options, including text enlargement, MP3 Maker and language translation. You can also make changes from the Accessibility option at the top of each page.

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The Local Offer (Special Educational Needs and Disability)

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The Manchester Local Offer brings together information in one place. It helps children and young people with SEND up to the age of 25 and their parents understand what services and support they can expect locally. This includes their statutory entitlements which are required by...

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CCHS Manchester Sleep offer - Lots of resources and service support

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Autism and sleep - Top tips and strategies

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The good news is that the struggles you have getting your child to fall asleep and stay asleep are not unique to your family. In fact, the prevalence of sleep difficulties among children with autism means there has been ample opportunity for researchers to study the causes of the problem and develop effective strategies to help children and their parents get the sleep they need.

10 ways you can help your child with ASD sleep better

While these aren't 100% effective all the time, practicing these habits may help improve your nighttime (and early morning) struggles.

1. Eliminate household noises

Most typically developing (TD) kids can easily block out ambient noise, especially when they are tired. For kids on the spectrum, household noises like the TV, music, the dishwasher, etc. can be over-stimulating or otherwise disturbing, making it impossible for them to fall asleep or even feel tired. As much as possible, try to limit your child's exposure to household noises once they have gone to bed.

2. Reduce light exposure in the bedroom

Visual stimuli can disturb your child and make it difficult to fall asleep. Keeping their bedroom dark will help limit visual stimulation and encourage the production of melatonin, a neurohormone that promotes sleep. Switch to black-out curtains if there are streetlights, traffic lights, or other outdoor light sources near your child's bedroom windows.

3. Keep the bedroom cool

Your child may not be able to tell you if they feel too cool or too warm, but sleep experts indicate that a cool bedroom promotes sound sleep. Optimal bedroom temperatures range from 65° - 67° F. If your child cannot tolerate bed clothes or covers, you will want to raise the heat a bit but no higher than around 75° F.

4. Assess fabrics on pajamas and bedding

Many children with ASD find certain fabrics and clothing features to be extremely irritating. Make sure that your child's PJs and bed linens are made of fabrics that at least do not cause discomfort and at best are soothing to your child. Be aware that seams, zippers, and buttons can also be irritating. If your child is non-verbal, you may need to do some investigative research with them using trial and error.

5. Establish a bedtime routine and create visual cues

Work with your child to develop a soothing bedtime routine that you can stick to every night. Keep it simple, calming, and free from electronic screens. Create visual support for your child's bedtime routine. (For more information about visual tools for children with autism and examples, see The National Autistic Society.) A bedtime routine might look like this:

6. Use a bedtime social story

Create a social story explaining the importance of sleep and the cues people use to know when it's time for sleep. Be sure to include pictures to support your story.

7. Try a weighted blanket

While a recent study suggests that weighted blankets do not increase sleep time or decrease time spent falling asleep, the deep pressure touch provided by the weighted blanket can help to soothe your child and make the bedtime routine more appealing.

8. Use relaxation training

If you suspect anxiety is the cause of your child's sleep difficulties, incorporate some relaxation activities into the bedtime routine. These include:

Deep breathing

Muscle relaxation techniques

Warm bath

Soft music

Audiobooks/stories

9. Consider melatonin therapy

Research has shown that children with ASD improved their sleep when given melatonin in combination with oral instructions for parents on strategies to promote sleep. Look for a new melatonin mini-pill to be available in Europe in October 2018 and in the U.S. after that. It is a slow-release pill that is easy for kids to swallow and has been shown to decrease the time spent falling asleep as well increase total sleep time.

10. Teach your child to sleep alone

Many parents of children with autism fall into the habit of lying down with their kids to get them to sleep. While this can be a precious time to connect with your child, it reinforces their perceived need to have you near them in order to sleep. That means you are indispensable at bedtime as well as when your child awakens in the middle of the night. And that's not good for either of you.

Tips for children who can't go back to sleep on their own

Everyone naturally wakes up several times a night. For most people, these wakings go unnoticed because we go back to sleep right way.

For children who cannot go back to sleep by themselves, these natural wakings can wreak havoc on their night's sleep and yours. That's why it's important for your child to learn to fall asleep alone at bedtime as well as during the night.

Training your child to fall asleep alone should be done gradually over the course of a few weeks. Gradually distance yourself from your child once they have gotten into bed, then keep your visits back to their room brief. Gradually decrease the amount of attention you direct toward your child such as talking, eye contact, facial expressions, etc. while you are increasing your distance away from them.

SAMPLE DISTANCING SCHEDULE

Sit on the bed with your child as they lie down for sleep. Read them a soothing, short story.

Sit on a chair beside the bed. Keep an eye on them but make a game out of both of you staying quiet.

Move your chair further from the bed as your child tries to sleep. Try to make no contact with your child.

Wait outside your child's bedroom after tucking them in and see if they can fall asleep alone. If not, go back into their room briefly, just long enough to remind them that it's time for sleep, they are OK, and wish them "good night."

If you need to return to their room because they still haven't fallen asleep, wait a little longer each time and keep your visits brief and uneventful. You can use this same method for middle-of-the-night wakings.

ASD teens and sleep

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Autism and Sleep. Ten possible strategies. - Living Autism

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The good news is that the struggles you have getting your child to fall asleep and stay asleep are not unique to your family. In fact, the prevalence of sleep difficulties among children with autism means there has been ample opportunity for researchers to study the causes of the problem and develop effective strategies to help children and their parents get the sleep they need.

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Sleep support sheet from Healthy Schools

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Sleep support sheet from Healthy Schools

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If you have a child with additional needs and sleep issues, bedtime can be tricky.

Whether they struggle to communicate how they're feeling, have increased anxiety, sensory issues or social cueing problems, sleeping well may be difficult. For example research estimates that between 40-80% of children and young adults with autism have sleep problems. If your child regularly has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, it may be a sign of a sleep issue.

Lack of sleep can impact in the following ways:

Aggression

Depression

Hyperactivity

Increased behavioural problems

Irritability

Poor learning and cognitive performance

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If a child struggles to communicate how they're feeling, have increased anxiety, sensory issues or social cueing problems, sleeping well may be difficult.

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Preparing for Adulthood | Help & Support Manchester

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Preparing for Adulthood (PfA) was a programme funded by the Department for Education and delivered by a partnership between the National Development Team for inclusion (NDTi). It brought together a wide range of expertise and experience of working with young people and families to support…

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Preparing For Adulthood Guides and Toolkits

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Talbot house - Supporting families with learning disabilities

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Talbot house - Supporting families with learning disabilities

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They support families in many different ways.  Amongst our support services we:

Offer one to one support with our in house support workers

Offer training courses to families and professionals in the development of Person Centred Planning

Signpost to other services

Accompany families to appointments and provide advocacy

Bring in therapuetic counsellors if needed

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Talbot House has been supporting the families of people with learning disabilities in Manchester since 1976.

It started as a play scheme organised by four parents of children with complex needs, and despite some initial set backs when applying for funding they gained the support of a councillor who backed their appeal and they were given an initial grant of £200.

The play scheme was a success but the parents quickly realised that the biggest positive outcome was that they were able to share their experiences and support each other in a way that no other services could.

Spurred on by this knowledge the parents approached the council about finding some premises so that they could set up a parent support group. From the humble beginnings as The Peter Pan Centre in an old rectory to the dedicated centre that Talbot House uses today we have been supporting families in Manchester for 40 years and have changed thousands of lives as a result of the amazing work that we do.

For more information about the services that we offer please click here.
For more information about how you can support us to continue providing our services then please click here.

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Talbot House has been supporting the families of people with learning disabilities in Manchester since 1976. It started as a play scheme organised by four parents of children with complex needs, and despite some initial set backs when applying for funding they gained the support of a councillor who backed their appeal and they were given an initial grant of £200.

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Our organisation is called “Lifted” because our aim is to “elevate parent carers who have a child/adult with special needs”. We strive to make a positive difference and improve the health and well-being of those carers using the service.

Offering 1-1 support, guidance & advocacy and assistance with completing forms.

Hosting special calendar events, lunches, days out and craft sessions.

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IPSEA is a registered charity that offers free and independent legally based information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of special educational needs (SEN) and disabilities.

IPSEA gives advice and support on:

Local Authorities' legal duties to assess and provide for children with special educational needs</li

Exclusions of children with special needs/disabilities

Action/inaction by Local Authorities and/or schools which discriminate against children and young people with disabilities.

Web Link: https://www.ipsea.org.uk

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Please see below a few links that we think may be of use to you. Click on the + symbol to expand a section and see details of a particular item. You may also view our Benefits information page if you want to

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Family Support Mental Health Directories

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Family Support Mental Health Directories

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Parent/Carer General Wellbeing information sheet

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Parent/Carer General Wellbeing information sheet

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SEND support they offer and the groups and activities in your area:

Longsight Family Hub

Crossacres Family Hub, Sharston

Woodville Family Hub, Cheetham Hill

Sacred Heart Family Hub, Gorton

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We offer information, advice and support to children, young people and parents/carers about special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). We are a free, dedicated, confidential and impartial service based in Manchester. We are a statutory service, which is commissioned by Manchester City Counci…

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This series of videos has been put together by the MLCO Children and Young People’s Speech and Language Therapy Service. They are intended to help parents and carers support young people (aged 11-18) with communication needs.

If you’d like more advice on supporting young people with their speech, language and communication please visit speechandlanguage.info/parents/top-tips.

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SALT Communication Needs (11-18) Video Series

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SALT Communication Needs (11-18) Video Series

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The Social Communication Pathway (SCP) have workshops that are offered to parents and carers of children or young people who are currently on one of the Manchester SCP lists (North, Central & South) or have received a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Condition from Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust (MFT).

The workshops run weekly and rotate between the following four topics every month:

– Neurodiversity and Well-being: This session discusses information around neurodiversity, mental health and well-being, and are delivered by Clinical Psychologists and Mental Health Practitioners.
– Sensory Differences: Delivered by Occupational Therapists in the team, this session offers information for parents around sensory behaviours and how to support them at home.
– Communication Differences: This session provides information around speech, language and communication, and are delivered by Speech and Language Therapists.
– Understanding and Working with the Education System: This session is delivered by Educational Psychologists and provides information about SEND, neurodiversity in education and how children’s needs can be met by schools.

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Lots of topics and activities to explore

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Lots of information leaflets on a range of topics and issues!

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Get advice on benefits, including what you’re entitled to and how to claim.

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These videos have been developed by the team to support you in carrying out exercises at home.

They are designed to help children and young people with key daily activities, balance, sensory and practical exercises. Please click on the link above.

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Children and Young People’s Occupational Therapy - video based exercise guide - Manchester Local Care Organisation

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Community NHS and adult social care services in Manchester

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Learning Disability - Autism - Down's Syndrome

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Mencap is a UK charity for people with a learning disability. We support their families and carers, too. We want the UK to be the best place in the world for people with a learning disability to live happy and healthy lives.

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Online safety for families and children with SEND

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Online safety for families and children with SEND

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Physical activity opportunities - Additional needs

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Physical activity opportunities - Additional needs

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Physical activity opportunities - Additional needs

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Physical activity opportunities - Additional needs

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PARS Service - Supporting children with additional needs

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PARS Service - Supporting children with additional needs

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Junior Physical Activity Service (PARS) - Manchester

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Before a meal During a meal After a meal

Try to limit snacks. Make sure you limit snacks 30 to 60 minutes before a meal.

Encourage your child to move throughout the day. It does not have to be a specific exercise. Activities could include playing catch, walking, skipping or playing at a park. Read more about moving and being active.

Encourage your child to help you plan meals. If you have a list of meals you regularly make for your family, your child can pick some of the meals for the week.

Encourage your child to help you prepare the food. Under your supervision, they can help you prepare food. This could be washing vegetables in the sink or helping weigh the food.

Encourage your child to help prepare for the mealtime. This might include setting the table, making drinks or clearing away toys.

Think about your child's sitting position at the table. Their knees, hips and elbows should all be at 90 degrees. Read more about posture and sitting positions.

Try to reduce distractions at mealtime. Make sure the TV is turned off and that there are no toys at the table.

Try to create a low-stress environment. This will help reduce anxiety at mealtimes.

Act as a role model for your child. Children learn by watching adults behaviour and actions. There are various ways you can do this at mealtimes, such as:

sharing meals together as often as possible

eating meals at a table

Encourage good behaviour during meals. Think about what is important to your family. This will be unique to each family. Try to consistently reinforce and encourage this behaviour.

Gently encourage your child to try new foods.

Offer food that you know your child likes, these are also known as safe foods. This can help to reduce their anxiety at mealtime. It can also protect the progress and growth your child has made.

Talk about the food you are eating. For example, you can talk about the how the food looks, the colour, the taste or the texture.

Allow your child to leave the table when they have finished eating.

Talk about their experience with the food. You can ask them about what they liked and didn't like.

Use a diary of food exposure. You can try writing down what types of food your child will and won't eat. You can also record what time of the day and where they are.

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Learn how to set up mealtime routines to support your child's eating habits, manage behaviours, and make transitions to meals easier.

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Fussy or selective eating parent support videos

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Fussy or selective eating parent support videos

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Fussy and selective eating are common behaviours in children. This is where a child often refuses to eat certain foods or try new ones, which can lead to eating only a few types of food. These are usually plain foods like pasta, bread, or snacks. They also might not like healthier foods like fruits, vegetables, or protein foods.

Children may avoid these foods because of their texture, colour, or even how they look on the plate. This can be difficult for parents to manage, but fussy eating is a normal part of growing up. However, if it goes on for a long time, it can cause problems with nutrition or be related to sensory issues or anxiety.

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Learn about your child's fussy eating and when to be concerned. Discover ideas to help manage mealtimes more effectively.

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Whether squeezing it in before the school run in the morning or before bed on busy midweek evenings, preparing your child's lunchbox can seem like just another thing on the list.

School meals are a great choice, but if you do make a packed lunch for your child then we've got you covered with our range of quick, easy, healthier lunchbox ideas and tips.

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Lunchbox ideas and recipes - Healthier Families

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Simple, tasty recipes and tips for hassle-free healthier packed lunches.

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Family Food Support Leaflet for Manchester

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Family Food Support Leaflet for Manchester

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"kids yoga" "yoga for kids" "yoga for children yoga story for kids" "children's yoga" "yoga adventure for kids" "kindergarten yoga" "preschool yoga" "kids me...

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YOGA | MINDFULNESS | RELAXATION FOR KIDS! Screentime that gives kids SUPERPOWERS! ⬇️ D O W N L O A D T H E C O S M I C K I D S A P P ⬇️ 🍏Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/cosmic-kids/ 🛍️Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cosmickids 🖥️ Desktop (great for teachers!): https://app.cosmickids.com/ 📺 Roku: https://rb.gy/44r8d -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why watch on the App?

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A parents guide to Eating Disorders and Problems

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A parents guide to Eating Disorders and Problems

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A simple guide and information that helps parents dispel myths and support their child appropriately around the topic of eating disorders

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What are eating disorders?

Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that can have a huge impact on someone's mental and physical health. They can affect anyone with any body shape or lifestyle - regardless of their gender, culture, age or ethnicity.

Lots of young people who develop an eating problem or disorder are also going through other mental health issues. This can include anxiety or stress, feeling low or depressed, or struggling with their self-esteem.

Young people can use their behaviour around food and eating to try to cope with these difficult thoughts, feelings and experiences. They might limit how much they eat, consume large quantities of food quickly, or use methods such as making themselves sick to get rid of food from their body.

While it can sometimes be hard to understand from the outside, doing these kinds of things might:

make someone feel they have a way of coping when things are difficult

make someone feel in control, or give them a way of reducing anxiety or panic when they're overwhelmed

numb or reduce uncomfortable or distressing feelings

Over time, these kinds of thoughts and behaviours around food might become very fixed and difficult to change - and may start to take over daily life. When this happens, it can have a hugely negative effect on a young person's social life and their relationships with friends and family. It can also lead to very serious physical health problems, and affect a young person's physical growth and development. In very serious cases, and without the right kind of support and treatment, eating disorders can cause death.

But if someone gets the right professional help, the eating disorder can be treated and they can get better. The earlier they get help, the easier this will be. There are lots of common stereotypes about what someone with an eating disorder will look like. As a parent or carer, it's important to understand that a young person's weight or appearance does not determine whether they have a problem. Whatever's going on, it's important to find help as soon as you notice behaviours around food that are concerning. The sooner they get support, the easier it will be for the young person to change their behaviour and find other ways of coping. Getting help early can also prevent physical health problems from developing.

Different types of eating disorders

Some eating problems develop or fit into a certain type of eating disorder. But if your child has an eating problem that's affecting their day-to-day life, they still need professional help to find out what's going on - even if you're not sure that they have an eating disorder.

There are some common eating disorder diagnoses.

People with anorexia generally try to keep their weight low by limiting how much food they eat or doing lots of exercise, or both. They may have "rules" about what they eat, or when and where they eat. And they may think they are bigger than they are, and feel very scared about gaining weight.

Some people with anorexia also try to 'get rid' of food from their body, for example by making themselves sick or using laxatives.
Without support, anorexia can lead to serious physical health problems - so it's important to get help as early as possible.

ARFID stands for 'avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder'. This used to be known as selective eating disorder.

People with ARFID avoid certain foods or types of food, restrict the amount of food they eat, or both. Unlike with anorexia, people with ARFID don't necessarily do this to lose weight.

Common reasons people with ARFID may limit their food intake include:

sensory sensitivity to the appearance, smell, texture, temperature or taste of certain foods

feeling scared about eating if they have had a frightening experience with choking or vomiting after eating

having a limited interest in food, including not realising when they feel hungry

People with bulimia "binge-eat" or over-eat, and then "purge" to get rid of the food. They might do this by making themselves sick, using laxatives or over-exercising. They may feel guilty about what they have eaten and want to remove the food from their body. Or, completing a cycle of bingeing and purging might feel like it's giving them a sense of control when things are difficult.

Bulimia can cause serious damage to someone's body, so it's important to get help as early as possible.

People with binge-eating disorder regularly eat large quantities of food in a short time. They feel like they are not in control of this, or that they are unable to stop. In a binge-eating episode, people may eat a lot faster than usual or eat when they're not hungry, and feel embarrassment or shame afterwards.

Unlike with bulimia, people with binge-eating disorder do not usually "purge" afterwards (try to get rid of food in their body).

OSFED stands for 'other specified feeding or eating disorder'. This is the diagnosis often given to someone if their symptoms do not fit with anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorder. This is the most common eating disorder in the UK.

People with OSFED may experience a range of different symptoms. Some examples of what OSFED might look like include:

Atypical anorexia - where someone is experiencing all the symptoms of anorexia, but their weight remains in a "normal" range.

Lower frequency binge-eating disorder - where someone experiences the symptoms of binge eating disorder, but episodes of binge eating do not happen as often.

Lower frequency bulimia - where someone experiences the symptoms of bulimia, but the cycles of bingeing and purging do not happen as often.

Night eating syndrome - where someone eats a lot at night or after dinner, or wakes up in the night to eat.

Purging disorder - where someone purges, as with bulimia, but it is not part of a binge/purge cycle.

Pica involves experiencing cravings to consume things that are not for eating, or feeling like you cannot stop yourself from eating these things. This can include substances such as soap, chalk or dirt. Sometimes, the person may feel urges to consume substances that are dangerous, so it's important to get help as early as possible.

You can find out more about each of these conditions on the Beat website.

If you'd like to hear from other parents and carers who have supported their child with an eating disorder, and personal stories from those who have struggled with them, you might like to listen to this BBC podcast. Please keep in mind that this podcast discusses some very serious experiences - only listen if it's helpful for you, and at a time that's right for you.

Signs that your child might be developing an eating problem or disorder

Every child and young person will show, or not show, what's going on in different ways. The signs that they're struggling might also look different depending on what type of eating problem they have.

While it's not always easy to tell, some early signs that your child is developing an eating problem or disorder might include:

becoming more controlling or limiting about what, how much or when they eat - including avoiding eating with other people

obsessing about their body shape, having an inaccurate view of their body shape, or feeling afraid of putting on weight

leaving the table quickly after meals (for example to hide food or be sick)

exercising a lot, or much more than they used to

seeming different in themselves - including seeming more tired than usual, or finding it difficult to concentrate

wearing loose or baggy clothes to hide their weight loss

losing or gaining weight

As a parent or carer, it's not always easy to know what's going on - and a young person with an eating problem may try to hide what they're doing. But you know your child, and you know when something is wrong.

If you've noticed changes that are worrying you, the next steps are to open up a conversation with your child and to get professional advice. You don't need to wait for your child to lose or gain weight before getting professional help - ask for advice now.

Getting help and treatment

1. Making an appointment with a GP

If you're worried that your child is developing an unhealthy relationship with food, it's important to make an appointment with a GP. This is the first step to getting them the right help.

Make a list before the appointment of the concerning behaviours you have noticed. Or, if your child wants to go by themselves, encourage them to make a list of the things they're experiencing. The more honest and specific you can be, the easier it will be to get the right help.

Beat have a really useful resource on seeking GP treatment that you can both use to help you prepare for the appointment. They also have a binge-eating disorder leaflet you can take to the GP if your child is struggling with binge-eating problems.

People with eating disorders can find it hard to see they have a problem. Be clear about the fact that you're concerned and that you can see they need some help.

If your child will not go to an appointment at the moment, you can still speak to the GP yourself to get advice about what to do next.

For more advice, see our guide to getting help from the GP.

Getting support from the GP

Seeing your GP as quickly as possible, and asking for support for your child is essential. Early intervention is key to your child's recovery. If your GP does not take your concerns seriously, keep persisting in asking for a referral to an eating disorders team.

2. Getting a GP referral for specialist help

After talking to your child, the GP can make a referral for a specialist assessment. Depending on where you live and your child's age, this is usually done by one of the following services:

CAMHS, which is the NHS mental health service for children and young people

your local adult NHS mental health service

a specialist eating disorder unit

Professionals working in one of these teams will talk to your child to find out what the problem is. They will then decide what kind of treatment will help. While this is happening, the GP may also refer your child to a paediatrician for a physical health assessment.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) provides guidelines for NHS treatments. They very clearly recommend that GPs should make a referral for specialist assessments if there is any concern that a young person has an eating disorder. The NICE guidelines specifically state that they should not wait to see whether things get worse before doing this.

This is because getting early help can make a big difference - and because it's important to get help before an eating disorder starts to affect a young person's physical development.

If you do not think the GP is taking enough action, you can always ask the surgery to make you an appointment with a different doctor. You can also outline what the NICE guidelines say.

Depending on where you live, your child may be able to contact CAMHS or adult mental health services directly. You may also be able to refer them as their parent or carer. You can find this information online, or ask your GP surgery how things work in your area.

3. Receiving specialist treatment

The type of support and treatment your child has will depend on the type of eating disorder they have been diagnosed with. It may include:

family therapy

individual therapy developed specifically for eating disorders

group therapy developed specially for eating disorders

Your child's physical health may also be monitored during and after treatment.

Your child may receive treatment locally while they're at home. Or, if their symptoms are more serious, they may go into hospital to get treatment and support.

If you are worried about your child's physical health or they become very unwell, for example if they are experiencing chest pains or feeling faint, they need to see a doctor straightaway.

Take them straight to A&E or call 999 for an ambulance.

You can also call 111 if you're concerned but they do not need to be seen immediately.

If your child needs urgent mental health support, for example if you are worried that they are feeling suicidal or experiencing a mental health crisis, you can find advice on our urgent help page.

Educate yourself around eating disorders, this will enable you to give your child the best possible support. Charities such as Beat offer peer support and online development for carers on similar journeys to those you are facing.

How can I support my child?

Getting professional advice as early as you can is one of the most important things you can do to support your child. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that need specialist treatment - and the earlier your child gets support, the easier it will be for them to change their thinking and behaviour.

Alongside getting professional help, there are also things you can do to support your child at home.

Beat have a really useful resource to help you start a conversation if you're worried about your child.

Young people who have been through this say it helps when parents:

show they are able to talk about it and do not shy away from the issue

remember that this might be a difficult conversation for their child to have

are open minded and focus on finding out what it's like for their child

avoid making assumptions about why their child is behaving in this way

address what they want to talk about directly and use 'I' statements - for example, you could say, 'I've noticed that ...', or 'I'm really concerned because ...', and then ask, 'can we have a chat about it?'

You can find some simple tips on things you can do to help your child to feel understood in our blog on how to really listen to your child.

It's completely understandable if things feel all-consuming at times. But try to keep your focus on the person your child is, rather than just seeing the eating disorder. Talk about other things and spend quality time together doing activities you both enjoy. Keep normal routines and family life going as much as possible. This might feel hard sometimes, but young people who have been through this say just how important it is.

Certain points of the day, such as meal times, might feel really challenging. This is understandable, but if things feel tense, it can be more anxiety-provoking for your child.

It can help to:

give yourself permission to step away for a moment if you feel yourself becoming stressed, and come back when you're calmer

think about activities you could do during meals, such as playing a game together or watching TV, which can help to take the pressure off everyone

avoid having serious conversations during mealtimes or other family activities, so that your child can enjoy the social time too

There are stories of recovery on social media that can be positive for young people to see. But some social media content promotes disordered eating and can be damaging for young people with eating problems. This is often called 'pro-anorexia' (or 'pro-ana') and 'pro-bulimia' (or 'pro-mia') content. Social media will also advertise things like weight loss programmes that can be harmful to see.

Talk to your child about what they're seeing online, and about how they can make sure it's having a positive influence on them. Your child can use our advice on creating a positive social media community in our young person's guide to social media and mental health. Or they could try finding an online community at Beat (their online chat spaces are fully moderated).

It's really important that young people feel able to socialise with friends and family. But it can be difficult when social events often revolve around food. Think together about events such as big family meals or trips with friends ahead of time.

Young people who have been through this say it can be helpful to:

decide what they are going to eat beforehand, for example if they are going to a restaurant with friends

plan in downtime around social events to help them cope with stress

have a back-up plan if things feel too difficult - for example, eating in a separate room just with you if eating with everyone together is too much

allow themselves to enjoy the event and socialise too, without the occasion being all about what they're eating

When things feel tough, remind yourself that your child is not choosing to do this and cannot simply decide to stop. Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions and it does take time for things to get better. Try not to take their behaviour personally and remember to see yourselves as a team working together.

It is essential that the carer takes good care of their own mental health, and that other family members do too. Reach out to friends and family members who are willing to listen and to offer support.

Looking after yourself

This can be an incredibly tough, or in some cases traumatic, thing for parents and carers to go through. You may be feeling really worried about your child's mental and physical health. When the situation is very serious, some parents tell us they feel like they're firefighting all the time. This is exhausting, and can start to affect your wellbeing too.

Our tips can help you to look after yourself during this time as well your child.

Alongside looking after yourself, it's also important to think about how your other children might be affected by the situation. Remember to check-in with them about how they're doing, and to make space for quality time together.

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

You may also find helpful...

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was created with a parent or carer with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with an eating disorder. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Eating Disorders and Problems | Parent Guide

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If you're worried your child has an eating disorder or problem, read our tips and advice on how to find professional help and how to support them at home.

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Caring for someone with an eating disorder?

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Caring for someone with an eating disorder?

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Supporting and caring for someone with an eating disorder can be very emotionally straining. This guide aims to support you in your journery.

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If your child is anxious about school, or their mental health means they are unable to go to school, this site has advice on supporting them and tips on working with school and other services.

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

It's often difficult for your child to articulate the problem. They may be in a heightened state of stress and not know why or feel able to explain. Your child probably wants to feel able to be in school, just as much as you want them to be there. In many cases it just doesn't feel possible.

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, it might feel incredibly stressful and tiring. You might be worried about when they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments. Things are probably feeling tough for your child too.

During this time, it's important to keep working with teachers and other staff to try strategies that can help your child get back to school. Keep encouraging them to take achievable steps towards attending too. When the right support is in place, it's often easier for a young person to get back into their usual routine if they can return to school as quickly as possible.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support. Find out how to do this further down the page.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting support from mental health services.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.
This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.