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Ah, ring by spring. We are all familiar with it. This article talks about how "ring by spring" is prevalent among Christian college campuses.

Why is getting married in college such a stereotype for Christian colleges? Have you personally felt pressure by this norm?

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It was "surreal" for Nikki Garns when Cedric Martin got on one knee in Pennsylvania's Caledonia State Park, framed by a beautiful waterfall and mountains, to ask her if she would marry him. When she exclaimed, "Yes!," Ms. Garns was only a sophomore.

Mr. Martin's proposal, although it felt surreal, wasn't a surprise. For about a month before the engagement, both Ms. Garns and Mr. Martin had talked with her parents, assuring them that they were mature enough to be engaged. Initially, her parents said they thought she was too young. After talking with their daughter one-on-one, however, Ms. Garns's parents gave Mr. Martin their approval.

Ms. Garns isn't the only student at Houghton College, a Christian college in western New York, who's engaged. Like many Christian institutions, Houghton is gripped by a trend known as "ring by spring," which refers to the aspiration among many students to be engaged by the spring semester of their senior year.

And, like other colleges, Houghton acknowledges the trend, and even advances it. The college's counseling center offers a couples retreat for seriously dating or engaged couples, which brings 12 to 15 couples to a local camp to listen to a renowned speaker discuss the Biblical fundamentals of marriage. Six weeks after the retreat, the couples meet up again for a "Great Date Night."

Jerry Falwell Jr. has said that telling prospective students they can find their 'mate' at Liberty is a 'recruiting tool.'

Each Christian college is different in its response to the "ring by spring" culture. For example, Liberty University, America's biggest Christian college, leads an engaged-couples' workshop and offers an academic course titled "Marriage and Family." The university's president, Jerry Falwell Jr., has said that telling prospective students they can find their "mate" at Liberty is a "recruiting tool." Weekly convocation speakers discuss marriage frequently.

At other Christian colleges, marriage is discussed in a similar way - at couples' retreats and even on campus tours, when tour guides joke about "ring by spring." And while many Christian colleges help advance the culture, they didn't start it. Many students enter Christian colleges seeing marriage as an important life goal, a notion instilled in them by their families and churches.

Stacy Keogh George, an assistant professor of sociology at Whitworth University, surveyed students at a small Christian college about "ring by spring." She found that friends, family, and churches ranked the highest as the origins of pressure to get engaged. She stated in the report that even though colleges are not the cause of the phenomenon, it's their responsibility to "guide students to pursue healthy relationships."

Campus Culture

"Ring by spring" comes with undeniable social pressure, but Ms. Garns said she didn't feel it. She and Mr. Martin had dated for three years before getting engaged. And, she says, the culture makes for an exciting environment. When another couple at Houghton gets engaged, Ms. Garns's response is, "Oh my gosh, another person, welcome to the club!" She said she appreciates the opportunity to "be giggly and talk about different wedding plans" with classmates who can relate to her situation.

But Kelly Haer, director of Pepperdine University's Relationship IQ program, says that "ring by spring" at Christian colleges can exacerbate a feeling of "ambiguous loss" for single students. Ambiguous losses, as Ms. Haer explained, are those that "are hard to pinpoint and are also ongoing and lack closure."

Ambiguous loss can cause students to feel anxious or depressed, said Ms. Haer. "The person is always living with hope and in that hope, it's really painful," because that desired partner might not appear, she said. "The person will never get an email from God saying, I don't have a partner for you," Ms. Haer said.

Then again, there "are times when college students are pairing up and getting engaged by the spring of their senior year and it's really healthy and appropriate," Ms. Haer acknowledged. The problem is when the "ring by spring" culture is so ubiquitous that it causes students to get engaged quicker because they don't want to feel left out. Even among couples with strong relationships, getting married young can create difficulties, and people who marry before age 25 face a higher likelihood of divorce.

The engagement frenzy can also cause emotional distress for LGBT students, especially if their prospective relationships are not welcomed at their college. "Anybody who desires to be partnered, and the person is not physically present in their life and is psychologically present in their mind, is experiencing ambiguous loss," said Ms. Haer.

"Ring by spring" can also cause female students to feel greater pressure to get engaged compared with their male classmates. Ms. George thinks one reason is the gender roles that conservative Christian communities uphold. "Domestic obligations in society still exist despite our advances in gender equality," she said.

Krista McGee, an alumna of Cedarville University, said she complained to the college's bookstore when she noticed a shirt designed for a baby that said, "I'm a product of the Cedarville University Mrs. Degree." The shirt was offensive to Ms. McGee, she said, because it upheld the assumption that a woman's purpose at a Christian college is to "meet a guy, get married, and have kids."

And although the bookstore removed the shirt after Ms. McGee's complaint, the fact that the shirt was seen as a viable product "speaks to deeper issues that are at all Christian colleges as to the role of women in the work force."

Talking Marriage

Some Christian colleges have chosen to continue the traditional conversations about early marriage being a desirable outcome for all students, while others have transformed the conversation as later marriages have become more common across American society.

Michael Jordan, Houghton's dean of the chapel, acknowledges that elements of the "ring by spring" culture, like couples' retreats, can exclude many students, which is why he tries not to talk about relationships in a "marriage normative" way when he preaches in chapel or meets with students one-on-one.

Mr. Jordan said that Houghton still emphasizes relationships, but that he also helps students see that their "relational needs," such as companionship, can be met outside of marriage, in casual dating or friendships.

When students do decide to get married, Cedarville wants to help them be sure they're doing the right thing. Angel Hodge, a junior, joined the university's Fit to Be Tied program, which "makes sure couples are being intentional and not just getting married as a sort of goal pushed on them," she said.

Student couples are paired with older married couples from the faculty and staff, who teach the young couples about communication, co-managing finances, and what the Bible says about marriage.

The program has given Ms. Hodge language to talk about her prospective marriage in a way that's comforting to her family, who were initially very concerned.

For couples who worry that the "ring by spring" culture pressured them to get engaged, Ms. Haer suggests that they "seek input from those who know them well in their community and hear other voices about the goodness or viability of their relationship."

A chaplain at Baylor talks about marriage in his sermons, but emphasizes that there's no 'magic dust' when a couple gets married.

To remove undue pressure for engagement, Ms. George thinks Christian colleges should undermine the entire "ring by spring" culture by educating students on the plurality of options. Students need to know that there is "not one narrative" of graduating "and starting a married life with one person at 22," she said.

At Baylor University, administrators don't push the "ring by spring" idea, said Ryan Richardson, the university's associate chaplain and director of worship and chapel. Mr. Richardson still talks about marriage in his sermons, but emphasizes that there's no "magic dust" when a couple gets married. Marriage isn't about the feelings of elation one feels when engaged, he says. Rather, it's about two individuals knowing each other intimately, which can occasionally create conflict.

Baylor used to have an engaged-couples' program that was offered once a semester. The Spiritual Life office eventually decided to discontinue it, Mr. Richardson says, because it seemed like the "Biblical dating" approach it advocated was no longer of particular interest to students. Instead, Baylor began to offer programs about "religious liberty," teaching students to respect the diversity of religious or nonreligious perspectives at the university.

Eliminating the engaged-couples' program has been part of the changing conversation about marriage at Baylor. With Baylor's growing enrollment and diversity, Mr. Richardson says, there isn't a "strong leaning towards marriage as quickly as possible."

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'Ring by Spring': How Christian Colleges Fuel Students' Rush to Get Engaged

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It was "surreal" for Nikki Garns when Cedric Martin got on one knee in Pennsylvania's Caledonia State Park, framed by a beautiful waterfall and mountains, to ask her if she would marry him. When she exclaimed, "Yes!," Ms. Garns was only a sophomore. Mr. Martin's proposal, although it felt surreal, wasn't a surprise.

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Who knew booty calls could turn into a marriage? This article depicts how a couple's relationship was essentially based off of sex.

Do you think that just sex has the potential to keep a marriage alive? Is it possible for a marriage to just be fulfilled by sex?

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"How did you two meet?" the couple across the table from us asked while exchanging knowing, sweet looks. They grabbed each other's hand, and one of them started to recite the romantic "How We Met" story.

I tried not to gag. We were at a dinner party after all. You could tell they'd been through this routine before. Almost every couple has. It's the same story, told the same sweet, cliché way.

They finished and everyone at the dinner table gave the "awwww so cute" look. Everyone then fixed their eyes expectantly on the next couple: me and my husband.

"How did you guys meet?"

I took a deep breath and gave a nervous-excited look to my husband. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

"We met in college," I said.

My shoulders shrugged down rapidly and air filled my chest that blew out like a tornado. PHEW. I glared at my husband and shot him a don't you f*cking dare say a word look.

But what was I supposed to say -- that it was love at first bone?
Our meeting story and subsequent coupling isn't exactly a story you tell over tea and crumpets. It's a story you tell only your close friends after copious amounts of cocktails. What's the appropriate way to say my hit-it-and-quit-it is now my husband?
By now, everyone should be desensitized a little bit by the idea of f*ck buddies (FBs, for short). Tinder is around. Casual sex is as simple as a swipe. And no one's ashamed of it. There's no judgment of one night stands. (Come to think of it, I'd be so good on Tinder. I'd be a Tinderella. It's a shame I never had the chance.)

We've been shagging since before the Internet got involved. Me and my F*ck Buddy for Life (aka my husband) had an epic one-night stand in college that led us down the road to completely un-inhibiting, no-strings-attached sex. We didn't do phone calls -- we did booty calls.

Most people think the man in the FB relationship has the upper hand, the control. They're getting the goods for free. But that's only true if the woman wants more out of the FB relationship.

I liked the sex. It felt good. I was studying for exams, working as a bartender and participating in an internship. I didn't have time for fake niceties or pretending to be a "proper" woman, whatever that means.
I wasn't trying to be revolutionary; I just wanted to get my rocks off before English class with a guy that was great in bed and didn't have STDs.
Mostly, I find the dinosaur ritual of dating so daunting. I despise small talk. The time commitment to dating can be painfully wasteful. UGH, and the money? The money to pay for the date. The money you spend on a new outfit. The money getting each other crappy gifts, like flowers that die.

We were banging on a budget. And it felt like I was winning the jackpot. No expectations. No sexpectations, and I could still study for my chemistry tests. I didn't want courtship -- I wanted condoms. Lots of 'em. To prepare for a booty call, all I had to do was shave, throw on a cute bra and panties, and stay aloof.

See, there's this secret competition between FBs. The competition is to see who can care the least, or act like they care the least. I played well but ultimately lost the game.

I dropped the ball by telling my booty call buddy that I wanted more. I wanted to make my FB my boyfriend, which is basically breaking all FB rules. My FB didn't want to be my boyfriend, but he still wanted to have sex with me. Shocker.

I made it a priority to get over my fuzzy feelings so I could keep this awesome rump ride going. Having unadulterated, uncomplicated sex was enough for me.

I'm not going to lie, I totally fantasized about what our babies would like look like sometimes, which is totally normal for a horny, college girl with exploding ovaries. But I never told him that ... until after we had babies.
Maybe in the end I did win. Six months after my "I have feelings for you" confession, he asked me to be his girlfriend. And now I'm his wife and the mother of his two children (who are more beautiful than I could've fantasized about).
To this day we're not huge daters. We don't make a point to go on "date night." It's just not our thing, and never has been.

When my five-year-old asks me how Daddy and I met, I give her the same line that I give at dinner parties, "We met in college."

My husband and I smile, and exchange that familiar, married people glance. Actually, it's more like bedroom eyes. We exchange bedroom eyes, and that's still enough for me.
This article originally appeared on YourTango.
More content from YourTango:

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How I Turned My Booty Call Into A Husband

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"How did you two meet?" the couple across the table from us asked while exchanging knowing, sweet looks. They grabbed each other's hand, and one of them started to recite the romantic "How We Met" story. I tried not to gag. We were at a dinner party after all.

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The Duggar family has always intrigued me. Regarding children, they believe that they are a gift from God and should not be prevented via contraceptives.

As Christians, how do we respond to this? How do the Duggar's super conservative beliefs regarding birth control align with your own?

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The Duggar family might have a laundry list of semi-confusing rules and regulations they've set for their J-themed lives, but it doesn't take a genius to realize the family at the center of 19 Kids and Counting doesn't use birth control. However, the reason behind that decision isn't always so obvious. The Duggars are "independent Baptists," which influences their decision not to use any type of birth control. To Michelle and Jim Bob, it's not about parents planning the future for their family, it's more about allowing God to plan their family while parents stay out of the way.

However, it seems that there's more to it than simple religious reason. As they explain on the family's official website, Michelle was on birth control after their first son, Josh, was born, and unexpectedly got pregnant while on the pill. She suffered a miscarriage and was devastated over the loss. The post then claims that Michelle's doctor told them the miscarriage might have occurred because she was on birth control when she got pregnant. As explained by About Health, there is still conflicting evidence as to whether getting pregnant while on birth control increases the risk of miscarriage, though a 2008 study did not find an increased risk.

But the Duggars saw their choice to use birth control as something that destroyed life, and that's something they're 100 percent against. Here's how they explained it:

As conservative Christians, we believe every life is sacred, even the life of the unborn. Due to our lack of knowledge, we destroyed the precious life of our unborn child. We prayed and studied the Bible and found a host of references that told us God considered children a gift, a blessing, and a reward. Yet we had considered having another child an inconvenience during that busy time in our lives, and we had taken steps to prevent it from happening.

According to Jim Bob and Michelle, handing over the reins to God ended up in Michelle becoming pregnant with the twins, who would later be known as Jana and John David... and we all know how the rest of the story goes.

Not only do Jim Bob and Michelle oppose birth control, but they're also extremely against abortion. Various Duggar children are often spotted in the politically fueled pro-life T-shirts pictured above, and their son, Josh, even landed himself a cringeworthy job as a lobbyist for the extremely conservative Family Research Council. I know - I hate it as much as you do, but arguing with people who just don't understand that a woman's fundamental rights to her own body should come before all else rarely yields results.

Michelle and Jim Bob's beliefs have obviously had a huge impact in shaping the beliefs of their children. In fact, recently married daughter Jill already told Us Weekly that she and her husband Derick Dillard will have "as as many kids as God will give us," while eldest son Josh and his wife Anna are already well on their way to having a family in the double digits. They've only been married since 2008, and already, they have three children: Mackynzie, Michael, and Marcus... and I'm willing to bet there are at least 15 more "M" names those two can come up with.

You know what this means, don't you? Before we know it, there could be hundreds of Duggars. This is either awesome for reality TV or truly terrible for our country's nonrenewable resources. Maybe a little bit of both.

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The Story Behind the Duggars' Huge Family

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The Duggar family might have a laundry list of semi-confusing rules and regulations they've set for their J-themed lives, but it doesn't take a genius to realize the family at the center of 19 Kids and Counting doesn't use birth control. However, the...

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This article talks about the controversy of public breastfeeding and how women are treated when they are seen feeding their child.

How do you feel about the public breastfeeding controversy? Is it rooted from society sexualizing women's breasts?

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The experience of being a new mother is incredibly isolating; you've been through an enormous physical trauma, then spend weeks and months sleeplessly caring for a defenseless small person. Your normal routine is totally turned upside down: You're away from the office, and likely have few friends to commiserate with and no time to do it, even if you have them. Being confined to the home because your baby is nursing every 90 minutes - or in a bathroom when you actually make it out of the house - makes it that much more isolating.

It's no wonder then that many mothers, for a host of reasons, decide to cease breastfeeding and put their baby on formula instead. According to the CDC, only 25 percent of babies are still exclusively breastfed at six months of age; and at three months the numbers is about 46 percent.

So, when I first became a mother, one of my #squadgoals was to attend a nurse-in. They're like a La Leche meeting, but in public; half protest, half playdate with your mom friends. They usually get started because woman has been harassed in public for breastfeeding - perhaps by the manager of a restaurant or gym she's at, perhaps by a fellow customer - and is told to cover up, move to a private location (often a bathroom), or leave. She takes to social media, and soon, a crowd of like-minded mothers congregate at the location and exercise their right to feed their babies wherever and whenever, making clear that their infant is not expected to eat in the same place that people defecate.

Women breastfeed their children outside City Hall during a rally to support breastfeeding in public on Aug. 8, 2014 in New York City. Andrew Burton / Getty Images file

The impulse is understandable: Women and babies have the right to feed and be fed anywhere, anytime. The laws in 47 states allow women to breastfeed anywhere, with or without a cover, exempt from indecency laws. Many are unaware of that fact, and thus, despite the fact they don't have to, bring a bottle in public, don an uncomfortable and intractable nursing cover, or sit in a public restroom feeding their baby alone.

Plus, bloggers often cover these stories, and local news sometimes show up as well, photographing how a crowd of women have asserted their rights and the rights of their babies against discrimination

For those mothers active in breastfeeding awareness and promotion and those who attend nurse-ins, a primary objective is to raise the rates of breastfeeding. So what's funny about the nurse-in phenomenon is how counterproductive the move may be for promoting breastfeeding among the majority of U.S. mothers who aren't ideologically married to breastfeeding as part of their mothering identity.

Ironically, the only time I've ever felt uncomfortable or judged while feeding my children was while giving my baby formula in public.

American mothers stop breastfeeding, as USA Today explains, "If moms don't have a supportive work environment or supportive caregivers, it can be difficult for them to meet their breastfeeding goals."

The article added: "(Support is key even for moms who don't work and simply need to get out of the house. While breastfeeding in public is legal in most states, societal stigmas still discourage it.)"

Still, while it's impossible to obtain actual data on the topic, anecdotally, mothers in my social circle (from my hometown of upstate rural New York to suburban New Jersey and Long Island to New York City) have universally told me over the years they have had few, if any, actual confrontations over breastfeeding in public. And I have breastfed three babies over the course of four years across the country (from New York City benches to California beaches to rest stops in rural Illinois, Michigan and New York and across my suburban New Jersey neighborhood) and have never even once been subjected to a sideways glance, let alone a confrontation or request to cover up or move elsewhere.

But while almost none of these mothers have been intimidated for choosing to nurse in public; almost all were anxious - especially in the beginning when they didn't know better - that it would happen to them because of the focus given by the media to the one-off incidents when it has happened. They've then chosen to either stay home, feeling isolated, or switch to bottle-feeding (either with expressed milk or formula).

Women should feel comfortable feeding their baby however and whenever they'd like.

Both staying home for the six months of parenthood and bottle feeding increase a woman's chances of deciding to cease breastfeeding.

Ironically, the only time I've ever felt uncomfortable or judged while feeding my children was while giving my baby formula in public. And, over the years, I've heard several stories of total strangers approaching bottle-feeding mothers to inform them (as if they weren't already aware) that many people have an opinion about what she should be feeding her baby, and it isn't formula.

Women should feel comfortable feeding their baby however and whenever they'd like. While there are certain health benefits to breastfeeding, the militancy that some breastfeeding advocates have adopted can backfire, whether by intimidating bottle-feeding mothers into staying home, or making breastfeeding mothers scared of backlash that, in 2018, they're unlikely to experience. Instead of organizing a nurse-in, wouldn't it be nice to just all go to the park, hang out and support each other; no matter what we're feeding our kids?
Bethany Mandel is a senior contributor to The Federalist, an editor at Ricochet, a columnist at the Jewish Daily Forward and, in her spare time, a stay-at-home mother of three.

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Opinion | Despite no real breastfeeding backlash, the fear of it remains

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The experience of being a new mother is incredibly isolating; you've been through an enormous physical trauma, then spend weeks and months sleeplessly caring for a defenseless small person. Your normal routine is totally turned upside down: You're away from the office, and likely have few friends to commiserate with and no time to do it, even if you have them.

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50 Shades of Grey has become extremely popular... but for the wrong reasons as this author says. She says Christian Grey is a domestic abuser. Not this sexy and dominant guy that some may see him to be.

Do you agree with the article that 50 Shades portrays domestic abuse? If so, how can this impact relationships?

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I first stumbled upon Fifty Shades of Grey when I was 18, and almost immediately saw its central relationship for what it really is: domestic abuse. But even three years later, when I tell people this, they say I'm too young to understand BDSM.

To see if they were right, I decided to do some research. What I discovered was that my age was irrelevant to my understanding of Anastasia and Christian's relationship. The world of BDSM is one based on trust and respect, and is a world apart from the one depicted in Fifty Shades.

Would you be happy with a partner who micro-managed your life, dictated what you ate, what contraceptive you used, required you to exercise a certain amount of days a week, and cut you off from your friends and family? Add some good looks, a six pack and billionaire status and voila: you have Christian Grey.

I's not even ambiguous that Christian is abusive. Personally, I can't believe that this is even being framed as a debate.

If you took the manipulation and threat making out of his dialogue then he would have less to say than Silent Bob. Don't believe me? Then let's have a look at some of the things EL James has him say and do:

Not only is this a completely unsubtle threat of violence, but the "stunt" Ana has "pulled" is to go out with her friends and get drunk. This is is legal. Tracking someone's phone and stalking them (which Christian does in response) is not.

Can someone explain how this is sexy? For me, the alarm bells couldn't be sounding any louder.

At this point in the book, Christian has met Ana just three times. Is "phone-tracking...stalker" really the way a potential love interest should be presented?

Just imagine for a second thatyour friend tells you that a man, who she'd never given her address to, has turned up at her house. This is the same man who later will carry on having sex with her after she has asked him to stop. Wouldn't you tell them to run?

That would be my advice, but for fans of Fifty Shades this doesn't seen to be the case. People around the world think Christian and Ana's relationship is one to be desired, and I have no idea why.

As part of my research, I spoke to some wonderful people who are in submissive/dominant relationships. In one sentence they summed up "sub/dom" dynamics perfectly. "Respect from the dominant side and trust from the submissive side are the two key elements to a BDSM relationship."

Another thing I learnt was about the importance of "aftercare". After the acts of BDSM take place, one or both of the parties involved might need some emotional support to transition out of sub/dom roles. None of this happens in the books. In fact, Christian is cold, controlling and manipulative. This is not the story of a fun BDSM loving couple, but an emotionally abusive relationship.

According to Women's Aid, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. And it's not just women: 1 in 6 men will too. What's more, two women are killed by a current or ex-partner every week.

Millions of people will watch the film over the next week, but just imagine if they all knew these statistics, and were encouraged to help abused individuals, instead of investing in a film that only normalises their suffering. That's is why I'll be skipping the film this Valentine's day, and I implore you do the same.
To help victims of domestic abuse you can donate to: http://www.refuge.org.uk
http://www.standingtogether.org.uk
http://www.endthefear.co.uk
http://www.mankind.org.uk
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Why it doesn't take a genius to realise that Christian Grey is a domestic abuser

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I first stumbled upon Fifty Shades of Grey when I was 18, and almost immediately saw its central relationship for what it really is: domestic abuse. But even three years later, when I tell people this, they say I'm too young to understand BDSM.

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Sexting can actually hurt a relationship. It can be a sign of a couple who spends too much time on their phones and not with each other.

Do you think that sexting is a valid concern in this advanced technological age? How has technology shaped our norms in romantic relationships?

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An active sexting life may seem like a sign your relationship is headed in the right direction, but new research suggests the opposite.

According to researchers at the University of Alberta, who studied the effects of sexting on the relationships of 615 people, there are some surprising consequences of hitting send on that sexy picture.

Researchers found that sending the "what are you wearing?" text can add some spice to your relationship, and people who regularly sext their partner have greater sexual satisfaction compared to those that don't sext.

However, the research also revealed regular sexting can raise some red flags in a relationship.

According to the study, in addition to having a higher degree of couple conflict, sexters also reported feeling insecure in their relationship and displayed lower levels of commitment.

And frequent and hyper-sexters were overall far less satisfied with other aspects of their relationships.

According to Adam Galovan, a family scientist and the lead author of the study, this may be because "the sexters are focusing more on the sexual part of their relationship and may be neglecting other areas."

Unsurprisingly, the research also found that the sexters reported a high degree of "technology interference" in their relationships - meaning time with their partner was spent on the phone.

This dependence on technology may be part of the problem - rather than putting work into the relationship by bonding, talking, and interacting in person, the sexters simply rely on phones and sexting as a primary means of communication.

According to Galovan, this precedence on technology over interaction is the issue. He said: "These folks want to get to the end goal - a good relationship - without doing the hard work of talking, listening and spending quality time together."

Galovan believes this is because we live in a culture of instant gratification - where we want everything now.

As for his solution to the sexting-mania? Galovan said: "They need to put the phone down and have a good old-fashioned conversation - spend some time together nurturing the relationship - instead of shortcutting with sexting to try to get a quality relationship."

So the next time you want to bond with your partner, put down the phone and head to the bedroom.

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Sexting can negatively impact a relationship, research finds

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An active sexting life may seem like a sign your relationship is headed in the right direction, but new research suggests the opposite. According to researchers at the University of Alberta, who studied the effects of sexting on the relationships of 615 people, there are some surprising consequences of hitting send on that sexy picture.

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This article talks about openly gay Olympian, Adam Rippon. It is no doubt that he has changed the scene for the LGBTQ community in the Olympics.

How do you think this will impact the future LGBTQ Olympic community? Do you think Rippon's publicity has a positive or negative effect?

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Adam Rippon isn't a hulking football player like Michael Sam. He's not a 7-foot basketball center like Jason Collins. He's dissimilar from Robbie Rogers, a soccer player whose recent retirement from MLS left zero openly gay men in major professional sports in the U.S.

The fact that he happens to have come out as gay and did so as an active athlete is about the only thing that links Rippon to some of the more "masc" sports figures who courageously came out over the years - and that's part of his appeal.

"I think it's huge that he does not project the way other professional athletes have when it comes to masculinity," Anthony Nicodemo, a high school basketball coach in New York and LGBTQ activist, told USA TODAY Sports. "He marches to the beat of his own drum the way somebody like Michael (Sam) and Jason (Collins) didn't. They fit that piece of masculinity we have come to expect in sports being big and strong. Adam doesn't fit into that box."

Rippon became the first openly gay U.S. figure skater to compete in the Olympics and the first out figure skater overall to medal as he aided Team USA's bronze medal finish at the free skate competition Monday. Eric Radford then became the first openly gay figure skater to win an Olympic gold medal as he and Meagan Duhamel helped Canada win the team figure skating event.

There are 15 LGBTQ athletes competing in Pyeongchang -- including Rippon and Gus Kenworthy (skiing) from Team USA --- per Outsports.com. There were seven in Sochi four years ago.

"It's an awesome time," Mason Darrow, who came out in 2015 while a member of Princeton's football team, told USA TODAY Sports. "For the lack of a better word, it's a gay Olympics. I think it's (a) really nice change of pace."

Rippon, 28, certainly hasn't shied from embracing who he is on the international stage -- and that included criticizing Vice President Mike Pence's views on the LGBT issues in an interview with USA TODAY Sports last month.

"Being here at the Olympics does give me a louder voice," Rippon said earlier this week. "It has given me a platform. It's given me a voice to reach to young kids. I've gotten so many messages I could even get emotional thinking about it, but I've gotten so many messages from young kids all over the country that my story's resonated with them. It's incredibly powerful this platform that you can have at the Olympic Games."

Rippon declined to speak with Pence, who attended the opening ceremony last week, before the figure skating competition began, USA TODAY Sports' Christine Brennan reported.

"The bravery and courage he has is amazing," Austin Parrish, a former swimmer who came out in high school before competing collegiately at Eastern Illinois, told USA TODAY Sports. "I personally love that he is taking on Mike Pence. I'm from Indiana, where Pence was my governor while I was a college athlete. I never felt supported by the politicians of Indiana or the support for being an openly gay athlete. The way Pence rejected marriage equality in Indiana brought several emotions to the surface."

Rippon has regularly -- on social media and in interviews -- talked about what it means to be an openly gay elite athlete.

"Being true to who you are and not giving a (expletive) about what others think about you is an awesome and liberating thing whether you are gay or not," Rippon wrote on Twitter earlier this week. "Sometimes we the gays need to be reminded more often but, LIKE, EVERYONE SHOULD TRY IT, FOR REAL. JUST DO IT."

Rippon is hardly the first gay male figure skater, a sport that has seen gold medalist Brian Boitano, Rudy Galindo and NBC broadcaster Johnny Weir among the American skaters who have come out. However, they made that choice later in their careers or after their respective retirements.

"I definitely had that fantasy about being a figure skater when I was a young gay kid," said Darrow, who now works for the Cleveland Indians. "I think most young gay boys did something of the sort. I think Adam is definitely easier to relate to on that front than somebody like a (football player) like I was."

Rippon scored 87.95 in the short program Thursday night, putting him 7th out of 21 competitors and tops among the three Team USA skaters. He remains a long shot to medal in the men's individual competition as the free skate takes place Friday night, although Nicodemo said much of LGBTQ community has taken in and appreciated all that Rippon has accomplished so far.

"The interesting thing with Adam is that he's been embraced by the LGBT majority more than most out athletes," Nicodemo said. "I think he's a lot of us who go brunching on Sundays and wear glitter. They see themselves in Adam even if they can't skate."
Follow A.J. Perez on Twitter @byajperez

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Figure skater Adam Rippon gives LGBTQ community athlete they can relate to

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The Olympian, who already has won a bronze medal in the team competition, appealing because others can see themselves in him.

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This article presents several maps that show where and how well sex education is being taught.

What do you think about the correlation between sex education and teen pregnancy shown on the maps? Were there any statistics that shocked you?

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If you want to start a controversy in education, just say two words: sex ed.

What students learn about pregnancy prevention, sexually transmitted diseases, and human sexuality is one of the most hotly contested debates in education. The result is sex education that's patchy at best and just plain wrong at worst.

Most high schools don't teach students the 16 topics the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend will set them up for healthy sexual behavior.

This has consequences: While teenagers are having a lot less sex than they were in the 1980s, teenage sexual behavior is getting riskier. Students in 2013 were less likely to say they used a condom the last time they had sex than students were in 2003.

Here's what students in every state learn about preventing pregnancy and STDs, according to a recent CDC report.

1) Students in New Jersey learn to use condoms. Not so much in Indiana.

The majority of high schools in most states included in the survey teach students about the effectiveness of condoms in preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. But condoms are only effective if they're properly used - and when it comes to demonstrating that, some states are pretty squeamish.

The undisputed leader in condom education is New Jersey, where 93 percent of schools say they teach students to use them, as well as Washington, DC.

2) Most states don't teach students about very effective contraception

Hormonal contraception, such as the Pill, can't protect against sexually transmitted diseases. But it's pretty fantastic at preventing pregnancy. Still, students tend to learn more about condoms than these more effective methods.

(This map includes all forms of the IUD for shorthand's sake, but the copper IUD doesn't contain hormones.)

3) The one policy every state can agree on? Abstinence.

The era of abstinence-only education in the US is mostly over. But abstinence is, of course, the most effective way to not get pregnant or get an STD - and it's one that nearly all states feel comfortable emphasizing.

4) Some high school students aren't using birth control

Just because students learn about birth control doesn't mean they'll use it. More than one in 10 high school students nationally said in a 2013 survey that the last time they had sex, they didn't use any method of preventing pregnancy.

Not every state participated in the survey, but of those who participated, Texas was where teens were having the riskiest sex. Nearly one in five ninth- through 12th-graders said they didn't use protection the last time they had intercourse.

5) Where teenagers are still getting pregnant

Here's some good news: Nationwide, the proportion of teenage girls getting pregnant each year has been falling. It hit an all-time low in December. And it's falling faster for younger teens than older teens, which suggests that evidence-based sex education might be working.

The teenage pregnancy rate is declining everywhere, but it still varies a lot by state. Texas, where students report one of the highest rates of unsafe sex, perhaps unsurprisingly has one of the highest teen birth rates in the nation.

Further reading:

If these aren't enough maps for you, here are 20 more charts about the past and present of sex ed in the US.

There's a movement for better sex ed in the US - but in the wake of drama over the Common Core, it's stuck.

The teen birth rate is falling at an unprecedented pace, and nobody really knows why.

Here are even more theories, including lead, Plan B, and the internet.

Watch the teen birth rate decline in all 50 states with this interactive tool from Vox's Sarah Kliff and Soo Oh.

Was this article helpful?

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5 maps that show how sex education in the US is failing

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If you want to start a controversy in education, just say two words: sex ed. What students learn about pregnancy prevention, sexually transmitted diseases, and human sexuality is one of the most hotly contested debates in education. The result is sex education that's patchy at best and just plain wrong at worst.

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This video discusses how female circumcision is still prevalent in African countries, specifically focusing on Ethiopia.

How do the ethics compare and contrast for male circumcision vs. female circumcision? Should we even be calling it female circumcision and not genital mutilation?

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голос америки

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Female Circumcision Continues in 30 Countries, Mostly in Africa

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Female circumcision is a common but brutal practice in some cultures, where it affects millions of women in 30 countries, mostly in Africa. That is why the U.N. has designated Feb. 6 as the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation.

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Stealthing: when a man secretly removes his condom during sex.

Is this considered sexual assault? What kind of repercussions does stealthing cause?

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The latest bedroom trend doesn't have to do with a certain position or technique - and it's not sexy at all.

The disturbing, nonconsensual trend is called "stealthing" and its rise is documented in a report by the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law.

Lead author Alexandra Brodsky argues that "stealthing," when a man secretly removes his condom in the middle of sex, is a form of sexual assault and should be treated as such.

Even more troubling is the online community Brodsky uncovered, where men encourage other men to "stealth" their partners. These perpetrators - both gay and straight - believe it's a man's right to "spread one's seed."

"One of my goals with the article, and in proposing a new statute, is to provide a vocabulary and create ways for people to talk about what is a really common experience that just is too often dismissed as just 'bad sex' instead of 'violence,'" Brodsky told the Huffington Post.

The study opens with Rebecca, a doctoral student who works at a rape crisis hotline. Rebecca noticed she was receiving more and more calls about women being "stealthed." (Rebecca said she had also experienced the same thing with an ex-boyfriend.)

"Their stories often start the same way," Rebecca said. "'I'm not sure if this is rape, but...'" They all felt violated but "didn't have the vocabulary" to figure out what was happening.

Not only does "stealthing" leave a victim vulnerable to pregnancy or STIs, it causes the same type of emotional, physical and financial harm that stems from other, more clearly defined, violent sex acts. One of the victims Brodsky interviewed for the report called the act "rape-adjacent." Another victim described what happened with her partner as a "blatant violation of what we'd agree to."

Brodsky concludes that since existing laws don't necessarily cover "stealthing," a new statute is the best bet for addressing something that too many people experience, but don't know how to talk about.

"At its best, such a law would clearly respond to and affirm the harm victims report by making clear that 'stealthing' doesn't just 'feel violent' - it is," Brodsky writes in the report.

In January, a Swiss court convicted a man of rape after he took off his condom without telling his partner. The court concluded that the woman would have said no to sex if she knew the condom would be removed.

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'Stealthing' is the newest dangerous sex trend

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The latest bedroom trend doesn't have to do with a certain position or technique - and it's not sexy at all. The disturbing, nonconsensual trend is called "stealthing" and its rise is documented in a report by the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law.

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This article lists 21 reasons why we should wait longer to have sex. The author acknowledges several valid points such as, waiting in order to know your partner better and that there are other ways to show affection in the mean time.

From a Christian perspective, how would you respond to this list? Does the list carry any validity in the eyes of a Christian because it alludes to premarital sex?

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You don't have to wait for marriage, or even for true love, but we are all giving it up a little too easily. Here are a few reasons why we should be waiting longer - even if that means a few more dates.

1. We have all become too desensitized to sex, there is very little about it left that is still special and "different." With someone you really like, it's important to feel those butterflies in the stomach before the first time.

2. When you have sex, you lose some of the mystery around the person, and everything becomes a little too real. Holding onto excitement can only draw things out.

3. You have your whole relationship (and, let's be honest, your whole life) to have sex.

4. Keeping the physical out of the equation for a while makes it so that you have to get to know each other in terms of personality and intellect, without your opinion being clouded by what they look like naked.

5. Between smartphones and social media, we are used to instant gratification. Waiting and anticipation can be intense pleasures of their own, and only add to the eventual physical joy.

6. We have gone from "waiting until marriage" to "doing it on the first date is no big deal," to the point that people in our society who choose to be virgins into adulthood are viewed as bizarre and like there is something wrong with them. There is no reason we have to be on either extreme.

7. Often we feel pressured to have sex quickly because we think it's what makes us the most "normal," even though we would really prefer to wait.

8. Anyone who is really interested in you in the long-term is going to be perfectly happy with waiting a little longer. If it's a dealbreaker for them not to do it in the first few dates, they weren't someone you should be seeing in the first place.

9. Romance and courtship still exist, even if we don't remember it.

10. The better you know someone, the better the sex is, because you're more comfortable and confident with yourself, and you are more able to communicate about what you both like.

11. There is no rule that says "you have to have X amount of sex in your 20s to really live," even though there can definitely be the social pressure. Just because you haven't had a certain amount of casual sex - or even one one-night stand - that doesn't mean you're missing out.

12. There is a difference between "saving yourself" and "having something special you don't do right away."

13. We are almost never the best versions of ourselves the first couple times we sleep with someone, it's always best to have established a connection before you make that impression. Awkward sex is fine when you both like each other already.

14. Kissing is very underrated, and it's even better when we drag them out instead of going straight to sex.

15. There are lots of other things we can do besides "regular" sex that can be very sexy and save a little something for later.

16. No one should go on a date "expecting" something, and yet that's what has started happening in our society with a lot of young couples. We should forget the idea that anyone owes anyone something sexual after a certain number of dates or a certain amount of money.

17. There are different stages of a relationship, and sex can often make it get too serious too quickly.

18. Sex can make someone who is not good for us at all seem really interesting.

19. The hormones released during sex are the kind that cause feelings of connection, love, happiness, and closeness - it literally tricks our brain into imagining things are much deeper than they are, and that we have a special relationship with this person, even though it's just sex.

20. There are other, even better ways to express affection.

21. In the end, the only person we are pleasing and proving anything to is ourselves. While you might want to get someone to like you more quickly, or to fit in better with your more sexually active friends, it's important that you do things for you. I know a lot of girls, like me, aren't as interested in sex without emotion - and there is nothing wrong with that. Emotional connections are extremely important, and we should embrace them just as much as we embrace sex!

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21 Reasons We Should All Wait Longer To Have Sex

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You don't have to wait for marriage, or even for true love, but we are all giving it up a little too easily. Here are a few reasons why we should be waiting longer - even if that means a few more dates. 1.

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For majority of 23-year-old Sneha's life, she struggled with asexuality. She didn't know why she wasn't physically attracted to her boyfriends or why she withdrew from every intimate encounter. Sneha has now become comfortable in her own skin regardless of other's scrutiny.

Do you think a successful relationship without sex is possible? Is love enough or does a relationship need sex?

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"Hey, wanna come over and watch Twilight with me?" he asked, making an offer my 15-year-old self would never be able to resist. My very first boyfriend and I settled into the couch, popcorn in hand, ready to enter the world of mystical creatures and forbidden love.

His mom was upstairs, but he assured me that if she was coming downstairs, we'd hear the floorboards creak. As I started to wonder why he had just told me that, he made the move. His lips found mine, and his hand found my knee. I had kissed him before, but this time it felt different. It felt wrong.

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Love But No Sex: What It's Like Being a 23-Year-Old Asexual Woman

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"Hey, wanna come over and watch Twilight with me?" he asked, making an offer my 15-year-old self would never be able to resist. My very first boyfriend and I settled into the couch, popcorn in hand, ready to enter the world of mystical creatures and forbidden love.