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https://www.stepchange.org

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StepChange Debt Charity - Free Expert Debt Advice.

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Contact the UK's leading debt charity to get expert debt advice and fee-free debt management to help you tackle your debts. StepChange Debt Charity.

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Lancashire Women: covers a range of mental health needs including finances, employment support and justice

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Lancashire Women: covers a range of mental health needs including finances, employment support and justice

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We are working towards a Lancashire where all women and girls are valued and treated as equals, and are empowered to be able to transform their lives.

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Crisis: For when your need is urgent and you are in a mental health crisis

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Crisis: For when your need is urgent and you are in a mental health crisis

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Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust

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Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust | Information about Crisis Support

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If you need urgent help as you are in mental health distress, then there is always someone you can call

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Minds Matter: Self referral for mental health support

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Minds Matter: Self referral for mental health support

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If you are a health professional and you would like to make a referral, please contact the local team. Please do not complete a self-referral form on behalf of someone else.

Please note: from November 1, 2019, Mindsmatter stopped providing the IAPT service for residents in St Helens. If you are a resident of St Helens, please click here to Think Wellbeing . This will take you to the referral page for the North West Boroughs NHS Foundation Trust's IAPT service.

Mindsmatter is not an emergency service, if you are in mental health distress and need urgent help you can call our crisis line on 0800 953 0110 or Samaritans on 116 123 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Self-referral
Before you self-refer please read the information in the drop-down below. We want to help you get the best support for you, in the quickest time, however, self-referring when we are not the most appropriate service for you will slow this process down.
Is Mindsmatter/First Step right for me?

Please ask yourself the following questions.

If you feel that you are depressed or anxious, and answer NO to all of these questions you can self-refer.

If you answer YES to any of these questions, Mindsmatter may not be the right service for you.

To prevent any delays to accessing services, please speak with your GP to discuss before contacting us.

Are you currently seeing anyone from another mental health team? (For example the Community Mental Health Team, the Crisis Team or Psychotherapy)

Are you getting another form of therapy elsewhere?

Are you looking for help for bipolar disorder, psychosis, schizophrenia or a personality disorder?

Are you hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there?

Do you feel that you could be a risk of taking your own life?

Are you concerned about your memory in older age?

Are you under 16?

Are you dependent on drugs or alcohol?

Mindsmatter: Self-referral is for everyone aged 16 or over and registered with a GP covered by Mindsmatter.

First Step (South Cumbria): Self-referral is for everyone aged 18 or over and registered with a GP covered by First Step.

Mindsmatter and First Step teams and contact details. Please consult your GP to find your local IAPT service if you are not from these areas.

When I self refer what happens next?

For Lancashire referrals: once your referral has been accepted by your local team they will then be in touch to book your assessment. We usually do the assessment over the phone. If you think that you will struggle speaking on the phone, please let us know when we contact you to discuss an alternative appointment.

For South Cumbria referrals: once the form has been posted please allow five working days and then call 0300 555 0345 during normal working hours to book a telephone assessment appointment. Failure to contact the service within 10 days of day of submission will result in this questionnaire being invalid.

Accessibility

If you are deaf or hard of hearing or if English is not your first language
You can:

Text your message to your local team telephone number

Request an interpreter (different language/BSL etc)*

Request to use Language Line for support

Make admin aware you are unable/prefer not to use a telephone

Request to be sent messages by text/letter

* We will arrange and book an independent interpreter, you cannot use your own family member/friend as an interpreter.

If you are blind or have poor sight
You can:

Request telephone appointments

Be signposted to braille or audio materials (where possible)

Request to be left voicemails and contact by telephone

If you have difficulty with your mobility
You can:

Request telephone or online appointments or treatment for easier access

Request an accessible clinic location if you wish to access face to face support

Find out if you are eligible for further support attending appointments.

Search Lancashire Care NHS Foundation Trust website using the below box.

X

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Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust

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Lancashire and South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust | Self referral, Mindsmatter

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If you are a health professional and you would like to make a referral, please contact the local team. Please do not complete a self-referral form on behalf of someone else. Please note: from November 1, 2019, Mindsmatter stopped providing the IAPT service for residents in St Helens.

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Inspire: Self-referral for help (select North and Central Lancashire)

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Inspire: Self-referral for help (select North and Central Lancashire)

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If you're concerned about keeping yourself or another person safe, call 999 as soon as possible. We have a couple of places specific to Lancashire that you can call for support: Mental Health Access Line - NHS non-emergency services on 111. Lancashire Listening Service - 0800 915 4640 or text 'Hello' to 07860 022846.

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Your child's behaviour will improve when they know what the rules are, so they can stick to them. So try to respond in the same way every time. Say what you want your child to do, clearly and in a way they'll understand. Repeat it if necessary. And if your child doesn't do as you wish give them an appropriate consequence - so they'll know not to do it again.

Explain your actions

Choose a consequence that fits the situation, for example, if your children are arguing over a toy, take away the toy. Explain why you are taking the toy away. Stick to what you said, and when 5 minutes has passed give them back the toy so they can show you they can behave in the way you want.

Use a calm voice

When they misbehave take a deep breath and use a quiet and calm voice. Your child is far more likely to listen to you if you are in control - shouting will only make you angrier and upset your child.

Don't compare your child to others

Every child is different and it's important not to compare your child to others. You know your child best and you can help them understand good behaviour by setting rules and creating boundaries.

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Take 5: get tips and advice to help you manage temper tantrums and bad behaviour.

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Who's in charge?: Child to parent violence

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Who's in charge?: Child to parent violence

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PARENTS Online Emotional support from fellow parents with professional training and lived experience ‘I feel heard when I come here. It’s a space for me to vent what’s going on for me as a parent, free from judgement’ – PARENTS Online User, July 2021 Parenting can be really tough. PARENTS Online…

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Young Minds: For older children, self-help guide

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Young Minds: For older children, self-help guide

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What is anger?

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Three animated clouds are next to each other, the first cloud has lots of punching fists coming out if it with the words underneath highlighted in yellow: 'outward aggression'. The second cloud has marks on its cheeks, aiming punches towards itself with the words highlighted in yellow underneath 'inward aggression', the third cloud looks fed up and has thunderbolts around it, the words underneath highlighted in yellow read: 'passive aggression'.

Anger is one of a range of emotions that we all experience. It's ok and perfectly normal to feel angry about things that you have experienced.

Anger can start to become a problem when you express it through unhelpful or destructive behaviour - either towards yourself or other people. It can also contribute to you developing mental health problems, like depression and anxiety, or make existing problems worse.

If you find yourself doing these sorts of things, it might be a sign that you need some support:

hitting or physically hurting other people

shouting at people

breaking things

losing control

spending time with people who get you into trouble

constantly ending relationships or getting in trouble at school or work

Types of aggression

Do you often find yourself being aggressive towards other people?

Are you frightening or worrying yourself, or those around you with your behaviour?

Do you tell yourself that you hate yourself, that you're useless, that you don't deserve things?

Do you shut yourself off from the world, deny yourself things that make you happy or self-harm?

Do you behave passive-aggressively towards other people? Do you ignore people, refuse to speak to them, or are you often sarcastic or sulky?

Why do I feel angry?

Everyone feels angry sometimes - and we all have different triggers. You may experience anger in situations where you feel powerless, or frustrated. This could be because of problems at home or school, or if you've fallen out with a friend, or had a break-up with a partner. You might start to feel angry if you feel misunderstood by people around you, like your parents, or if you are confused about your sexuality.

But sometimes, you can feel angry and not know why. This could be the result of lots of stress and different pressures building up around you. Or it could be because of something that happened to you in the past, like neglect or abuse. Recognising the types of situations which trigger your anger is the first step to figuring out what is causing it, and finding a way to make things better.
What happened the last time you were angry? We asked several people what anger feels like for them, and how they manage it.

How can anger affect me?

When we get angry, it can be hard to think things through - especially if that anger seems overwhelming or uncontrollable. And if we feel angry a lot of the time - in other words, if we get into constant patterns of thinking angry thoughts about ourselves or others - it's hard to take a step back and communicate in a healthy and productive way.

We may tense up and clench our teeth. Our hearts might pump faster, our stomachs might churn, and we may clench our fists. These are useful early warning signs that we are getting wound up.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to recognise just how much anger you are feeling, and how it is affecting you. This might be because you have lots of things going on in your life.

After getting angry about something you might start to feel guilty about it, and this can make you feel worse.

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The same young person wearing a black t-shirt holds three signs. The signs read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry.

1. First of all, take a breath
2. Exercise helps me get some built-up frustration out of my system

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The same young person wearing a grey jumper holds three signs. The signs read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry

1. I talk about how I am feeling
2. I try and recognise I'm angry and listen to others

Show/hide caption

The same young person has long brown hair and wears a yellow jumper, they hold three signs which read:

Here are things I do when I feel myself getting angry

1. Putting on my favourite music really helps
2. Doing an action that helps me feel something different, like walking my dog

Tips for managing your anger

Issues with anger can lead to risky behaviour, refusing to go to school, isolation, eating problems, depression, and self-harm.

Drinking too much alcohol or taking drugs might be seen as ways of coping with anger issues, but remember they will make you feel worse and are likely to create bigger problems later.

Over time, you'll learn to manage your anger better yourself. When you feel angry or stressed you can try out different relaxation techniques to help you calm down, such as:

going for a walk

listening to music

taking deep breaths

doing some exercise

doing something you enjoy - skateboarding, painting, swimming

talking to someone about how you are feeling

playing computer games to take your mind off it

reading a book

having a hot bath

If you have a problem with someone, think about what you want to say beforehand and how you want to get your point across. Listen to their point of view and calmly put yours across too.

If you feel your anger levels rising, walk away from a situation to calm down, rather than saying or doing something you might regret later. You can learn to manage your anger and find techniques that work for you.

Our Activists share their anger management tips:

Read real stories about dealing with anger

Getting help for anger

If you often feel angry there are things you can do to help yourself. Other people can help too.

Talk about how you are feeling. Parents or carers and other family members, such as grandparents, may be good listeners. Your close friends and other family friends may be able to help.

At school, find a teacher, mentor, counsellor or school nurse who you trust. In the community, social workers, youth workers and leaders will also be able to listen.

You can also see your GP. They may be able to suggest some treatment or recommend a counsellor.

Your GP may refer you to your child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) where you would talk to a specialist about your feelings and behaviour. The specialist may advise you how to deal with these. They may also suggest counselling if there are problems or things that happened in the past that may be causing your anger issues now.

If counselling is your best option, the specialist arranges a series of confidential one-to-one sessions with a counsellor or therapist.

You can talk with them about concerns or problems you might have. The counsellor will help you work through your issues and give you skills and strategies to deal with your anger better. Find out more about what support you can get through counselling on our page.

If you are a parent or carer of a child or young person who has anger issues, take a look at our parents guide to anger advice page. We can also support you through our Parents Helpline. We are here to listen to you, and give you free, confidential advice and information.

Keep a note of how you're feeling:

What happened that made you angry?

How did you respond? Did it help?

How did you feel afterwards?

What else is on your mind? Is there something making you feel worried, scared or alone?

It helps to talk about how you're feeling. You could try saying:

"I've been feeling really wound up recently and I'm starting to think something might be wrong. Can I talk to you about it?"

"I want to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."

Here are some organisations and helpline services who can support you with what you're going through right now.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

This form is anonymous. Please do not include personal details like your name or email address. As this form is anonymous, you will not receive a reply. If you would like us to reply, you can contact us instead at ymenquiries@youngminds.org.uk.

We only monitor responses during working hours, Monday to Friday.
At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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What To Do If You Are Struggling With Anger

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We all feel angry sometimes, often for a good reason. But sometimes, we might be feeling angry a lot, or find it becomes uncontrollable or harmful.

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Young Minds: Supporting children with anger

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Young Minds: Supporting children with anger

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

It's normal for children and young people to find it difficult to manage their angry feelings sometimes, and it's helpful to remember that the part of our brain that helps us do this doesn't fully develop until we're in our mid-20s.

Anger can become a problem for your child if it feels overwhelming or unmanageable, makes them unhappy, affects their relationships or is expressed through unhelpful or destructive behaviours - towards either themselves or other people.

Angry feelings and aggressive behaviour can be really hard to deal with as a parent, and can have a huge effect on family life. If you're going through this, remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are things you can do to make the situation better, and places where you can find support if you need to. Here, we've got strategies you can use to help you respond and advice on when to seek further help and where to get it.

When I'm angry I feel a lot of self-hate and worthlessness. I also feel a build-up of energy.

What is anger like for young people?

If your child can't tell you in words, they will often use their behaviour to let you know how they're feeling. A young person who is feeling angry may:

be outwardly aggressive - acting aggressively towards other people, including shouting, hitting or breaking things

be inwardly aggressive - hurting themselves, for example by self-harming, or being very self-critical

be passively aggressive - withdrawing, ignoring people, being sarcastic or sulking

feel things in their body like a racing heart, feeling hot or tensing their muscles - for example clenching their fists

seem tense, unable to relax or easily irritated

find it difficult to concentrate.

When we seem angry or aggressive, there are often other feelings hidden under the surface.

Worried, Hurt, Scared, Lonely, Stressed, Overwhelmed, Ashamed, Ignored, Sad

Underneath these behaviours, a young person who seems very angry may also be feeling things like fear, stress, sadness, hurt or worry - or might be struggling to cope with a difficult experience at school, at home or in another part of their life that they feel unable to talk about.

It can be helpful to remember that a person who's feeling angry a lot of the time probably isn't feeling very happy - and while it might not be obvious, what they often need is support. Supporting children and young people to put their feelings into words can help them to feel less overwhelming, making it less likely that they will need to act out.

For some young people, feeling more irritable or angrier than usual can be a sign that they are struggling with low mood, depression or anxiety - especially if it goes on for a long period of time without changing.

How can I respond to my child when they get angry?

How can I help my child manage their anger?

In a calm moment, try to explore what's making them angry, focusing on letting them talk and listening to what it's like for them. Trust your instincts about picking the right moment, and remember that you know your child better than most people.

You can find more tips on our guide to starting a conversation with your child.

It might help to text, write a letter, go for a walk together or do an activity while you're talking to help them relax. You could also try spending five or ten minutes checking in with them each evening to encourage them to open up.

Recognising the triggers and patterns that alert them to the fact that they're getting angry can help them to take action before it becomes overwhelming. Keeping a diary or journal may make it easier for both of you to think this through - and apps such as ThinkNinja (for 10-18-year-olds) and HeadSpace can help them to track their feelings. This video by Braive might also help you to understand how stress and overwhelming feelings can build up in a person's life.

Some young people will find relaxing techniques useful. This could be things like:

meditating

listening to music

colouring or drawing

taking deep breaths or doing a breathing technique

Teenagers might like to do this using a mindfulness or meditation app such as Headspace or Calm. Often, people who are feeling angry breathe in more than they breathe out - so a good trick is to focus on breathing out for a few counts longer than they breath in, which can help their body to relax.

Some young people will find active techniques useful. This could be things like:

punching a pillow

throwing a ball

ripping or screwing up newspaper

playing sport

running or going for a walk

Young people tell us it helps to:

think of the bigger picture: will this bother me in a year?

try and say why you're angry, and remember that time alone to calm yourself down is okay.

take some time to think about how your actions are affecting others, and try to remember people are usually trying to help you.

apologise if you have harmed someone - and if you have hurt yourself, apologise to yourself.

figure out why you reacted like that so you can recognise it next time before it's too late.

tell someone if they've made you angry, or talk to someone else about it.

remind yourself that the emotion is valid.

Where can I find professional help?

It's a good idea to seek professional advice if:

your child's anger is consistently affecting their day-to-day life, wellbeing, mental health, relationships or experience at home or school - or the day-to-day life of your family.

you've tried strategies for at least four weeks and nothing seems to work, or their outbursts of anger feel unmanageable and last for a long time.

they are expressing their anger through destructive behaviours towards themselves or others - including self-harm or physically hurting other people.

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

Your GP can discuss your concerns with you and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Sometimes, challenging or aggressive behaviour can be a sign of an additional need or developmental difficulty, such as autism or difficulties hearing or speaking, which your child may need specialist help with. If you think this could be the case, speak to your GP or your child's school to discuss whether they need a referral for an assessment.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help for your child.

If your child becomes so angry that they are being verbally or physically aggressive and you feel unsafe, it's important that you reach out for help.

In these situations:

If it is safe for you and your child, remove yourself and any other family members from the situation.

If it's not safe to do so, and you feel that you or anyone else are at immediate risk of harm, warn your child that if the aggression does not stop you will contact the police.

Follow through if they do not stop. Call 999 if there is a danger to life or violence is being used or threatened. Call 101 if you want to discuss the situation with your local police officer.

Calling the police to intervene in a situation that involves your child is an incredibly difficult thing for any parent to have to do. However, this may be the only course of action if your safety, or the safety of other family members, is in question. You might feel worried about getting your child into trouble, but they won't automatically get a criminal record and it's important to put your safety first. The police can be supportive about responding to mental health issues and may be able to advise you about next steps.

As a parent or carer, we often put our children first, no matter how old they are - but it's so important that you remember to look after yourself too. If you have ever flown on a plane you may remember the flight attendant saying that in times of difficulty you need to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others - and the same applies here.

If your child is acting out, remember that it can be because they see you as a safe person who they can express their feelings with, trusting that you will love them no matter what - and that it isn't necessarily about you.

Use the family and friends around you - whether it's for a catch-up or having someone to watch the kids so you can have a break.

These are some things that can help you take care of yourself:

You might also find helpful...

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Anger is a normal and healthy reaction when things don't go the way we expected, life feels unfair or people upset or hurt us. It can be a helpful thing - letting us know that something is wrong or not okay with us.

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National Sleep Helpline: For children and adults

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National Sleep Helpline: For children and adults

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A decent night's sleep will help children to learn more effectively and make them less susceptible to minor ailments,

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Papyrus: Suicide and Self Harm support for and parents

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Papyrus: Suicide and Self Harm support for and parents

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Self Injury Support: For women and girls

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Self Injury Support: For women and girls

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If you have told us who and where you are and you gave us details of someone who is abusing you or someone else, we would have to pass that on to the authorities. We would let you know that we would have to do this. It is always your choice about whether you tell us your details and we will not ask for them. We are not able to trace calls, IP addresses or your location.

If you have told us who and where you are and you ask us to report a situation where you are at risk we can do this. However, as we are only open limited hours we recommend the agencies below who are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and are set up to do this.

National Domestic Violence and Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247 (FREE to call) and Webchat Service (Mon-Fri 10:00am - 4:00pm, Sat & Sun 10:00am-12:00pm)

Helpline - 0800 1111 (FREE to call).

Help and advice for young people about a wide range of issues. Webchat and email support is also available.

999 (emergency number) or 101 (non-emergency number)

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charity self-harm self-injury self harm distress trauma women girls

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For women of any age or background affected by self-injury, whether their own or that of a friend or family member. Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, 7pm - 9.30pm. All messages are answered by female volunteers who have received specialist training.

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The pandemic meant big changes for us all - including Childline. Children needed us more than ever - so we adapted how we deliver our service so our volunteers could continue to support young people safely. As well as practicing social distancing in our service centres, we also created new volunteer roles - answering emails from children and young people - to allow volunteers to work virtually.

In 2020/21, Childline counsellors have delivered over 200,000 counselling sessions to children and young people. Mental and emotional health concerns make up over a third of all the counselling sessions delivered, with concerns ranging from coping with stress and loneliness to depression and anxiety. Childline is always here to listen.

Young people also turned to the Childline website for support, advice and distraction throughout the pandemic. Over the last year:

We released new self-help tools to help children cope with feeling low, bored or anxious - including the Coping Kit and the Childline Helper.

The Calm Zone (launched in December 2019), a webpage where young people can go to find calming activities and breathing exercises, saw increasing visits throughout the beginning of the year, growing from 15,300 pageviews throughout February 2020 to more than 10,000 pageviews a week in the last week of April 2020.

Young people also increasingly turned to Childline's message boards - a safe online forum monitored by our staff - for support and advice from other young people.

"Most of us go on here because we need help. We're not happy, we don't feel safe telling people we know face-to-face, and we feel alone. I honestly thought that not many people must be feeling how I felt, and while it makes me sad to see how many of us aren't OK, it also makes me so, so thankful that a) I'm not alone, there's this huge community of people supporting others they don't even know, just for the sake of humanity and compassion, and b) that all of us on here have the guts to ask for help."
Childline website user

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The pandemic meant big changes for us all - including Childline. Children needed us more than ever - so we adapted how we deliver our service so our volunteers could continue to support young people safely.

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Head above the waves: Supporting your child with self-harm

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Head above the waves: Supporting your child with self-harm

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If you think your child may be self-harming, you're likely feeling a mix of confusing emotions; you might be worried for your child's safety and wanting to help them, but also angry they would want to hurt themselves, and maybe also feeling guilty because you don't know what could possibly have made them so upset. You're not alone in feeling this way, but there are things you can do as a parent to support your child and find them the help that they need. In this post, we'll discuss some of the most pressing questions from parents.
Q: How do I know if my child is self-harming?

A: There are numerous potential signs that a person might be engaging in self-harm, but here's a list of some of the most common ones we run across:

Constantly wearing long sleeves, even in hot weather

Their eating patterns are different from what they would usually be (for example, not getting food at lunchtime).

Bandages or plasters, either on their body, in their bedroom or school bag

Unexplained cuts or bruises on their body

Being less communicative/responsive than usual

Feeling tired all the time, or not sleeping

Using very negative language about themselves

Expressing feelings of failure, uselessness or hopelessness

Looking physically anxious

Skipping classes or other commitments

Becoming evasive or dismissive when you ask how they are

Engaging in harmful behaviours like smoking, or drinking

Isolating themselves - distancing themselves from friends or family

Being more aggressive or argumentative than usual

Lack of interest in things they were once passionate about

They've gone through a big and/or traumatic life event

Q: How do I talk about what I'm noticing with my child?

A: Often, our immediate reaction can be to focus on their injuries, or to try to make them feel better by explaining away their feelings, unconsciously diminishing them in our effort to make them less worrisome. Regardless of your intentions, actions like these can make your child lose trust in you, and make them less likely to confide in you about their feelings and worries. The most important thing you can do is validate your child's feelings and experiences. When your child shares something with you, even something small, like a concern that they aren't good enough at something, they are putting a huge amount of trust in you to respect their feelings. When this happens, try to:

Let them say all they need to say, don't interrupt, even to reassure them

Express your desire to understand what they are feeling

Avoid 'you should' statements - instead, focus on making sure they know you're listening without judgement, and that you want to help

It's likely the first time your child opens up to you won't be a massive revelation, but it can be an opportunity to lay the foundation for trust and communication moving forward. You don't have to be sure your child is self-harming to start the conversation, because the conversation should focus on how they are feeling, rather than on their injuries.

We also understand that starting that conversation can be difficult for both parties, so here are some potential conversation starters and things to consider ( remember, it doesn't have to be a huge scary conversation, just something that lets them know you care):

How are you feeling today?

I've noticed you [ insert unusual behavior you've seen/haven't been quite yourself], do you want to talk about anything?

I've noticed you've [ insert observation here], and we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I want you to know I'm not angry, I won't judge you, and I will be here to help you when you feel comfortable sharing with me.

Are you feeling up to talking right now? (make sure it's a good time for )

Let them know they can write things down, as sometimes it's hard to talk about such intense feelings

Let them know you just want to make sure they're safe

Sometimes, just letting your child know that you've noticed something different going on with them, but you're not angry - you just want to be there to support them - can be the encouragement they need to open up about what's troubling them. The most important thing is to approach the conversation with an open mind; you don't know or understand what's going on in their head, but you're there to support them, without judgement.

Notice with all of the above we focused on the person, not the injuries? That's perhaps the most important bit. Self-harm is something they DO, but it's just one small part of the bigger picture.

Q: Is there anything I shouldn't say?

A: While there are no set rules for this kind of thing, there are some lines of questioning that can do more harm than good, which we'll discuss below:

Anger:
It's normal to feel angry in situations like these, because no one wants to believe that their child would willingly hurt themselves. However, self-harm is a coping strategy, not the real problem, so focusing your anger on your child's injuries, or the fact that they are engaging in self-harm at all, can make them feel ashamed of their actions and their feelings, and can make them less-likely to be honest about their struggles in the future.
Shock or surprise:
Try to keep a level head as best you can, as appearing shocked can make your child feel abnormal when all they likely want to do is fit in. Show your concern, but remember that talking about self-harm is a big step - when in doubt, just listen.
Don't take away utensils:
While your first reaction might be to take away the thing your child uses to self-harm, this can simply make your child go looking for other, potentially more harmful ways of coping. Not to mention, it won't make them trust you any more than they already do. Remember, they're using self-harm to cope, and taking that coping strategy away leaves them completely vulnerable to the issues they're dealing with.
There are, of course, exceptions to this; if you feel your child may be a danger to others, then it may be safest to remove the equipment they're using. Alternatively, you could offer to your child that, when they feel ready, they could give their equipment to you to dispose of, either when they're ready to stop self-harming or if they want your help in using more positive coping strategies. Make sure they know you'll be there when they want to talk, but don't force them to tell you anything if they're not ready. Prying can have the opposite reaction to what you want.
Don't force them to talk to you:
Similar to the last point, bombarding your child with personal questions can overwhelm them - remember, it's a conversation, not an interrogation.
Don't ask a million questions:
It's tempting to ask someone to promise not to self-harm, but it's important to remember that they're only doing it because it allows them to move forward in their life. Instead, if you feel they're receptive in that moment, you could suggest they try different, more positive coping strategies next time. Self-harm is a learned behavior, but it is possible to learn new, positive behaviors that can replace it. You can find a huge list of them here on our website.
Don't tell them not to do it:
The point of starting the conversation is to understand how they feel, and how you can support them. Telling them 'it'll be okay' defeats the purpose of listening to them, because they don't need to be made to feel happy, they need to be heard.
Don't tell them to "smile!":
This one is tied up in another misconception - that everyone who self-harms is also suicidal. It can be tempting in the moment to say things like "how do you think this makes me feel?", or "how would your siblings feel if you weren't here?", or "your friends must be so worried about you!". This only creates negativity, though, which isn't helpful when someone is trying to be open and vulnerable with you. They can only get better when they are ready; if they stop self-harming for themselves, it will stick a heck of a lot better than if they do it out of guilt for someone else.
Don't make it all about you:

Remember, it can be really hard to stop relying on self-harm, especially if the person has been relying on self-harm to cope for a long time, so don't be discouraged if nothing changes overnight. What we usually hear from students is that they wish someone would simply ask if they're okay, like any normal person would. Try your best to be approachable, rather than critical, and let them talk at their own pace.

Q: Is it my fault?

A: No, it is not your fault. There are many possible reasons behind self-harm, and they differ from person to person, but here are some common reasons someone may self-harm:

if they feel out of control in other areas, they may do this to have control over Control - something

Release - self-harm may be their way of releasing tension, anger, sadness, frustration, or other negative emotions, especially when they have no other outlet

Expression - as a way to express emotional pain or turmoil

Attention - while self-harm is generally not an attention-seeking action, it can be a way to ask for help, or for their problems to be taken seriously

Lack of self-worth - self-harm can serve as a sort of punishment when someone doesn't feel 'good enough'.

Numbness - when someone feels numb or disconnected, they may self-harm as a way to feel , or to feel grounded.

We know we say this alot, but it's so important to remember: self-harm is a coping strategy, not something they're doing to get back at you, or anyone else in particular - this is about them and their struggle, whatever it may be, not about you. There is a bigger issue, whether it's immediately obvious or not, and that should be the focus of the conversation, not how it affects others.

Q: I've started the conversation, but where do I go from here?

A: You don't have to deal with this alone, and if you feel at a loss for what to do next, remember that there are countless resources set up to help with these exact situations. Here are a few things that may be helpful in making sure your child is safe, and in helping them implement positive coping strategies:

Encourage them to make a self-harm safety plan: You can find instructions on how to build a plan, along with an easy-to-follow template, in this post on our website. A safety plan is designed to remind someone of their options for support and positive coping strategies when they feel like they're a risk to themselves.

Discuss downloading an app like Calm Harm: There are a bunch of apps out there designed to help someone resist the urge to self-harm. Calm Harm offers a bunch of different suggestions based on what someone needs at the moment, such as comfort, a distraction, a release, or just to express themself. Youper is an app that lets you talk to artificial intelligence (although it feels like a real human being), and helps you identify how you're feeling. You can find an extensive list of resources like these here .

Call a helpline: You don't have to be in 'crisis-mode' to seek help, and there are helplines available for all kinds of situations - whether you're calling for yourself or someone else. YoungMinds offers a helpline specifically for parents. You can find an extensive list of helplines here , on our website.

While it's obviously your first thought to take care of your child in this situation, keep in mind that you are only able to support them so long as you yourself are healthy. Resources like the National Self Harm Network provide a space where anyone - friends, family, or concerned individuals - can seek support and discuss issues surrounding self-harm.

The most important thing to remember is that you don't have to deal with this alone, and neither does your child. If you can look at starting the conversation as the start of a journey - to more honest discussions, to more positive coping strategies, and to greater trust - you'll be better prepared to support your child through these confusing and frightening circumstances.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can do for your child is to listen to them, to trust them, and to believe them: validate their feelings even when they may seem inconsequential to you, acknowledge how hard those feelings are to express, and encourage them to seek out positive alternatives. Be there for them, even when they pull away, and let them know they are not alone.
Show Me More!
If you found this post helpful, check out some more of our Straight Up Advice.

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I think my child is self-harming - how can I help? - Heads Above The Waves

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If you think your child may be self-harming, you're likely feeling a mix of confusing emotions; you might be worried for your child's safety and wanting to help them, but also angry they would want to hurt themselves, and maybe also feeling guilty because you don't know what could possibly have made them so upset.

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Just as your body can become unwell, your mind can become unwell too. And just like with physical illnesses, treatment and support is available. Use our guides to find out more about different mental health conditions, how to cope with your feelings and what support is available to you.

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Mental Health Conditions | Signs and Symptoms | YoungMinds

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Use our guides to find out more about different mental health conditions, how to cope with your feelings and what support is available to you.

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Young Minds: A-Z support guides for parents on a range of mental health topics

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Young Minds: A-Z support guides for parents on a range of mental health topics

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It's okay to reach out for help. Your situation is unique and no parent has all the answers. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and we hear from parents and carers just like you all the time.

So, if you're worried about the mental health and wellbeing of a child or young person up to the age of 25, you can chat to us by phone, email or webchat.

Our Parents Helpline is also accessible for those who are hard of hearing or speak English as an additional language. If English is not your first or preferred language, we can arrange for a language translator to support you on a call with one of our helpline advisers. Or if you would like to use our webchat or email service, we offer a digital translation service.

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Parents Mental Health Support | Advice for Your Child

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Practical tips, advice and where you can get help if your child or teenager is struggling with their mood, feelings, or their behaviour seems different.

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Are you being bullied?

If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small.

Visit Childline

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Are you being bullied? If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small. Visit Childline

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You can sign up here to access a range of tools to help you cope and move forwards after crime. This is a free, safe, secure and confidential space where you can choose how you want to be supported after crime.

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https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/a-z-guide/abuse/

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If you’re worried your child is being abused, or has been abused in the past, read our guide on the different types of abuse and how to get them support.

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Abuse is always wrong and it can be very difficult to talk about but you're never alone. If you're worried about abuse, find out what it is and who can help you.

What is abuse?

Abuse is often about power and the person who abuses you uses that power to get you to do things you don't want to do. It is hurtful either mentally or physically. Sexual abuse includes being touched, kissed or forced to have sex against your will and often by someone older than you.

Abuse isn't always carried out by a stranger and can be someone you know, which can make it feel hard to speak out about. Because they are known to you, if your family or others close to you don't know about the abuse, they will think it is safe to leave you with this person. This is why they need to know as soon as possible.

Abuse is always wrong. If you tell someone, they can help to make it stop.

There are different types of abuse:

Why you must get help

Abuse is always wrong and must be stopped. Apart from being horrible while it is happening, it can affect your life. Speaking out as soon as you can makes it less likely for you to have problems later.

If you have been abused you may:

be wary of adults

find it hard to trust people

have problems developing relationships

have difficulty concentrating

find that you are more irritable or emotional

do worse at school

have difficulties with trust when entering sexual relationships in the future

have low self-esteem, become depressed or anxious

be vulnerable to self-harm

Having one or more of these issues isn't necessarily the result of abuse; they can be caused by a number of things. But if you know you have suffered abuse, you should talk to your GP. They can spot if you are at risk of developing any of these problems and will be able to help you.

Getting help

Take the first step - you have to tell someone. Start with your family, but if the abuser is known to them you might want to speak to someone else you trust, like a teacher or your GP. Even if your GP knows this person they will be able to help you and they won't break your confidence.
If you are in immediate danger call 999.
If you feel you can't talk to people you already know, here are some services run by professionals who will know how to help you.

You might also find helpful...

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Abuse | What To Do If You Think You Experience Abuse

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Abuse is always wrong and it can be very difficult to talk about but you're never alone. If you're worried about abuse, find out what it is and who can help you. What is abuse? Abuse is often about power and the person who abuses you uses that power to get you to do things you don't want to do.

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NSPCC: Spotting the signs. A guide for parents

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NSPCC: Spotting the signs. A guide for parents

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https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/spotting-signs-child-abuse/

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Common signs of child abuse

Some common signs that there may be something concerning happening in a child's life include:

unexplained changes in behaviour or personality

becoming withdrawn

seeming anxious

becoming uncharacteristically aggressive

lacks social skills and has few friends, if any

poor bond or relationship with a parent

knowledge of adult issues inappropriate for their age

running away or going missing

always choosing to wear clothes which cover their body.

These signs don't necessarily mean that a child is being abused, there could be other things happening in their life which are affecting their behaviour - but we can help you to assess the situation.

You may also notice some concerning behaviour from adults who you know have children in their care, which makes you concerned for the child/children's safety and wellbeing.
Share your concerns

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The signs of child abuse can be hard to spot. We can help you to recognise the signs of abuse and support you if you have concerns about a child.

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https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/gender-identity/

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Gender dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is when someone experiences unease because their gender identity is different from, or doesn't sit comfortably with, the sex they were registered at birth. Gender dysphoria is not a mental illness, but some people may develop mental health problems such as depression or anxiety, as a result of gender dysphoria.

Gender dysphoria can start from a very young age. This could include things like not wanting to wear masculine or feminine clothing. Older children may feel anxious or uncomfortable about the changes that happen during puberty, such as starting their period, or their voice deepening. However, this type of behaviour is reasonably common in childhood and is part of growing up. It doesn't mean that all children behaving this way have gender dysphoria or other gender identity issues.

In 2022/23 Childline delivered almost 3,400 sessions about sexuality and gender identity.

Common themes for children contacting Childline with questions about their gender identity are: anxiety about their feelings, fear of not being accepted, lack of available support, and the time it takes for them to access support services.

Transitioning

Some young people who experience gender dysphoria may decide to transition. Transitioning is the jouney someone takes from presenting themselves as the gender which corresponds to the sex they were registered at birth, to presenting themselves as the gender they feel they are.

Children and young people may choose to do this in different ways and at different stages depending on what they feel comfortable with. Some young people may choose to do this privately or just with close friends and family, before coming out more publicly.

A child or young person's transition may involve changing the way they look or dress. For example, they might want to wear makeup or shave their facial hair. Some children may also want to visit the doctor to get support or discuss their options for medical treatment. Your GP should be able to provide advice and guidance about what options are available to support children and families.

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Advice to help parents and carers understand gender identity and how to support a child.

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What is sexuality and sexual orientation?

Sexuality and sexual orientation is about who someone feels physically and emotionally attracted to. This can be romantic or emotional attraction, or both.

As children and young people grow up it's natural for them develop and express their sexuality in healthy ways. For example, older teenagers might start dating or having relationships, while younger children might show curiosity about sex or the changes that happen during puberty. Many young people also feel unsure about their sexuality or who they're attracted to, or find that their sexuality changes over time.

There are lots of different types of sexuality or sexual orientation, and young people may use different terms to describe how they feel. LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning and more. Although people often confuse them, it's important to remember that gender identity is different from sexuality.

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Advice for parents and carers on how to support their child if they've come out or are questioning their sexuality or sexual orientation.

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The Proud Trust: Support for children and parents

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The Proud Trust: Support for children and parents

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Welcome to The Proud Trust's resources for Trusted Adults of LGBT+ children and young people. If you are an LGBT+ young person looking for information or support, check out our pages for young people here!
Who is a 'Trusted Adult'?
The service has been developed and created for any adult who has a trusted relationship with a young person. This could be a parent or carer, a schoolteacher, sports coach, bus driver, hairdresser, shopkeeper or anyone who has regular interactions with a young person.

If you feel there is something specific to your role or interactions with children and young people that isn't covered in the resources, please do get in touch and let us know or use the web chat function to talk it through with one of our operators.

On these pages, you will find some helpful information which will hopefully help you in supporting the LGBT+ young people you are in contact with. These resources cover a range of different things such as exploring LGBT+ identities, LGBT+ inclusion and how to support young people coming out as LGBT+. You'll also find information and biographies of LGBT+ people within 'LGBT+ Icons'.

These pages are intended to give you a deeper understanding of LGBT+ identities and also provide information about how to support LGBT+ young people. We hope this will lead to more informed, open and supportive conversations with children and young people about LGBT+ identities.

If you are struggling to find something to help you on these pages, or need more support or guidance, you can also use Proud Connections Live Chat.
The live chat will be open 12 TOP TIP: pm - 6pm on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays
You are not alone - support is out there and that goes for you and the children and young people you interact with.

Questioning your sexuality or gender identity can be a lot to process for children and young people, it is also a lot to process as the Trusted Adult of an LGBT+ young person - so don't be afraid to seek support. Speak to us via the Proud Connections web chat or look up your local groups on the 'Groups' page of this site. There are people, groups and services out there to support you!

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Welcome to The Proud Trust's resources for Trusted Adults of LGBT+ children and young people. If you are an LGBT+ young person looking for information or support, check out our pages for young people here! Who is a 'Trusted Adult'? The service has been developed and created for any adult who has a trusted relationship with a young person.

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We support LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and those questioning their sexual or gender identity) children, young people and their families in the UK.

All of our services strive to be safe and inclusive spaces for LGBTQ young people.

We provide direct support to LGBTQ children and young people around their gender and sexual identities. We also work with parents, carers and families.

Through our Positive Identities service we offer training to schools, professionals and community groups. Our training raises awareness of LGBTQ lives, promotes inclusion and tackles homophobic, biphobic and transphobic bullying.

Find out more and get advice.

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We support LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and those questioning their sexual or gender identity) children, young people and their families in the UK. All of our services strive to be safe and inclusive spaces for LGBTQ young people. We provide direct support to LGBTQ children and young people around their gender and sexual identities.

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Winston's Wish: Support with the death of a parent or sibling

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Winston's Wish: Support with the death of a parent or sibling

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Pre & Primary

Are you worrying about your child who may be struggling after a bereavement? Here is some information for you that we hope can support your child through this extremely challenging time.

We support children who are struggling and here are some of the services we can offer you:

The grieftalk helpline

One to one counselling

Group counselling

Therapeutic workshops

Fun days out

Residential

Choir

Free grief resources

We want you to know that we are a click or call away on the grieftalk helpline, where you will receive a warm and listening ear. Take a look at our Grief Guides to read more on how grief can be experienced at this age and some guidance.

Contact Us Now

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Are you worrying about your child who may be struggling after a bereavement? Here is some information for you that we hope can support your child through this extremely challenging time.

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Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. They learn how to grieve by copying the responses of the adults around them, and rely on adults to provide them with the support they need in their grief.
Further guidance that may be helpful:
How might bereaved children react and what may help?

Children and young people have a limited ability to put feelings and thoughts into words and tend to show feelings with behaviours rather than words. Reactions will vary greatly as children absorb and process information in different ways at different ages.

The following reactions are common, and are likely to settle over time with reassurance, acknowledging what has happened and their feelings, giving them clear and age-appropriate information, and keeping to normal routines.

Picking up on tension and distress

Children pick up on tension, distress or anxiety in adults, and may mirror this in their own behaviour. Even babies sense that something important is missing, and may cry more than usual. Children of all ages may be clingy or unsettled.

Appearing not to react

Children under 6 years old do not understand that death is permanent. Children cannot handle strong emotions for long periods, and may jump quickly in and out of grief ('puddle jumping'). When told that someone important has died, some children may look blank and ask 'can I play' or 'what's for tea?' They may have heard, but they are not able to process what that means yet. They may react later with sudden crying, outbursts, changes in behaviour or asking questions.

Asking questions and exploring what death means

Children may ask repeatedly: "When's Nanny coming back?" or "Where has she gone?" even though they've been told clearly what has happened. They may hunt everywhere for a 'lost' person, and so a clear explanation of what 'died' means may help. Children may play games where the person dies, or is still alive. They may seem fascinated with death, play-act about death or ask repeatedly about it. All of these are ways that children show that they are processing their understanding of what has happened.

Feeling anxious or insecure

When someone dies, a child's sense of safety is rocked. They may not want to leave you, and may cling to you or follow you everywhere. They may behave as if they are younger: being very quiet or tearful, having temper flare-ups, sucking their thumb, being reluctant to do things they used to do with confidence, or wetting the bed.

Try to keep to normal routines which will help them feel safe, and keep them informed about plans for the days ahead. Tell them who will take them to school or activities. If you need to leave them, tell them when you will be home, or who will be looking after them.
Include them in simple decision-making that affects them. If the person who died was ill, address any fears about the illness (for example that it is not catching), and reassure them that you are not ill and not leaving them.

Anger

Anger and other strong emotions are natural reactions to sad or shocking news, and some children and young people may not be able to understand or manage their own feelings. They may feel angry at the person who died, at family, at themselves or at the world in general.

It can help to tell them it is understandable for them to be angry, as long as they don't hurt themselves or anyone else. Safe ways to release anger include hitting cushions, vigorous physical exercise, messy painting sessions, or going outside to shout very loudly.

Another idea is a 'safe zone' where they can go to calm down. This could be a quiet corner with familiar items that help them to feel safe.

Looking after adults or feeling responsible

As children realise that death is permanent, they also become aware that it happens to other people including themselves. They may be protective and try to look after their important adults and siblings. They may feel that they were somehow responsible for the death.

Primary aged children may show 'magical thinking' where they think 'if I do this, Dad will come back'. They may behave very well to compensate for what's happened, or be less well-behaved because they feel angry or guilty.

Denying what has happened or taking risks

Bereavement can be overwhelming, and can bring huge changes, alongside other challenges that young people face as they grow up. They may want to forget or deny the death or how strongly they feel. They may feel 'what's the point?' with school or social activities. Some young people may be impulsive or take risks, in an attempt to get back some control in a life that for them currently feels very out of control.

What helps grieving children and young people

Every child is unique and will cope with the death of someone important in their own way. There is no magic formula but things that help include:

Clear, honest and age-appropriate information

Reassurance that they are not to blame and that different feelings are OK

Normal routines and a clear demonstration that important adults are there for them

Time to talk about what has happened, ask questions and build memories

Being listened to and given time to grieve in their own way

Further information

More about how children and young people grieve, and what helps:

Finding support

For many bereaved children and young people, they may get all the support they need from those already around them that they know and trust. However, some children and young people may need additional support depending on their situation.

Latest

Most read

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Short films delivered by our support practitioners giving guidance on a range of bereavement topics. Read more

A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Watch short films and read experiences of bereaved families and how support has helped them. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people

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Supporting bereaved children and young people

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Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. Find out how you can help them and more about child grieving.

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Self esteem is something we feel inside but is influenced by lots of things and lots of people. It is an ongoing thing that is built over time.

It's really important you have a healthy self esteem because it affects everything about how you think feel and behave. Self esteem has a big impact on your mental health and your future.

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Self esteem is something we feel inside but is influenced by lots of things and lots of people. It is an ongoing thing that is built over time. It's really important you have a healthy self esteem because it affects everything about how you think feel and behave.

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When we talk about self-esteem
we're often talking about lots of different things, such as:

confidence- if we are struggling with our self-esteem, we may not feel confident doing things, even if we have done them before and know we can do them

how much we recognise and value the skills we have, like if we are good at a subject at school, at making people laugh, or our hobbies

how able we feel to share our opinions and ideas, and whether we believe what we have to say matters and is worth other people hearing

how comfortable we are with getting things 'wrong' and our ability to brush things off and realise that our mistakes and 'failures' do not define us

how we treat ourselves, and if we are kind to ourselves and practise self-care

how we think and feel about ourselves physically, also known as our body image. Read our guide on body image for tips and advice on feeling comfortable with how you look

You are amazing, unique, and you have brilliant talents that no one else has.

When we believe in ourselves, feel comfortable in our bodies and have the confidence to share our thoughts with others, these can be signs of having good self-esteem.

But sometimes, feeling confident can be tough. We might have negative thoughts about ourselves, worrying that we aren't good enough or that we could've done things better. Often this is because we are comparing ourselves negatively to others, and feeling like we aren't as good as them or focussing on all the things we don't have that our friends seem to.

If you are having these negative thoughts with your confidence, that's okay. Lots of us struggle with these feelings too sometimes - you are not alone.

There are so many things you can do. Find hobbies and passions that you enjoy. Try hanging out with people who make you feel better about yourself.

Setting yourself small goals and achieving them can help you see how capable you are. This might be trying a new hobby, wearing a new outfit, or just getting dressed for the day. Whatever it is, it's important to celebrate your achievements and give yourself the credit you deserve.

Take time to do things you enjoy

Whether it is drawing, taking part in a sport or going for a walk, taking time to do things that make you feel good can help you switch off and relax. Find out the different ways you can take time out.

Finding the right people for you

Sometimes, low self-esteem can come from others who might make comments about you. You might not always realise how the people around you are making you feel. By reflecting on how people are treating you, you can start to see who makes you feel good and spend more time with them. Remember, people value you for many different reasons.

By focusing on the positives and taking note of the good things about yourself, you can celebrate what makes you, you.

If you're really struggling with low self-esteem and negative feelings about yourself, talk to someone you trust, like a family member, teacher or school nurse.

If you are struggling with low self-esteem and it's making you feel anxious, low in mood or is stopping you from doing everyday things, like eating, sleeping, or going to school or work, you could talk to your GP. They can tell you what support might be available to you in your area.

Our Activists share their tips on what helped them feel better about themselves:

More tips, advice and real stories if you're struggling with your self-esteem

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-esteem and Believing in Yourself | Tips and Advice

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Self-esteem is how you think and feel about yourself. Find out how to believe in yourself and boost your self-esteem if you are struggling.

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What is Low Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical way.

If you have low self-esteem you may feel:

Like you hate or dislike yourself

Worthless or not good enough

Unable to make decisions or assert yourself

Feel like no one likes you

Blame yourself for things that aren't your fault

Unable to recognise your strengths

Undeserving of happiness

Low in confidence

We all have times when we lack confidence and don't feel good about ourselves, but when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our lives.

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Low Self Esteem / Confidence | East London NHS Foundation Trust

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Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical way.

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Bullying advice for parents | Bullying UK | Family Lives

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If your child is being bullied, read our advice on how to support them. You can also chat to us online for support

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This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website.

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When you’re feeling down or unsure about something it can really help to talk to someone you trust. Find out more about getting help.

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Advice for parents and carers to help keep children safe from bullying, wherever it happens.

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Just like adults, children and young people feel worried and anxious at times.
But if your child's anxiety is starting to affect their wellbeing, they may need some help.

What makes children anxious?

Children can feel anxious about different things at different ages. Many of these worries are a normal part of growing up.

From the age of around 6 months to 3 years it's very common for young children to have separation anxiety. They may become clingy and cry when separated from their parents or carers. This is a normal stage in a child's development and should stop at around age 2 to 3.

It's also common for preschool-age children to develop specific fears or phobias. Common fears in early childhood include animals, insects, storms, heights, water, blood and the dark. These fears usually go away gradually on their own.

There may also be other times in a child's life when they feel anxious. For example, many children feel anxious when going to a new school or before tests and exams. Some children feel shy in social situations and may need support with this.

When is anxiety a problem for children?

Anxiety becomes a problem for children when it starts to get in the way of their everyday life.

If you go into any school at exam time, all the children will be anxious, but some may be so anxious that they do not manage to get to school that morning.

Severe anxiety like this can harm children's mental and emotional wellbeing, affecting their self-esteem and confidence. They may become withdrawn and go to great lengths to avoid things or situations that make them feel anxious.

What are the signs of anxiety in children?

When young children feel anxious, they cannot always understand or express what they are feeling. You may notice that they:

become irritable, tearful or clingy

have difficulty sleeping

wake in the night

start wetting the bed

have bad dreams

In older children you may notice that they:

lack confidence to try new things or seem unable to face simple, everyday challenges

find it hard to concentrate

have problems with sleeping or eating

have angry outbursts

have a lot of negative thoughts, or keep thinking that bad things are going to happen

start avoiding everyday activities, such as seeing friends, going out in public or going to school

Find out more about the symptoms of anxiety on our page about anxiety disorders in children.

Why is my child anxious?

Some children are more likely to have worries and anxiety than others.

Children often find change difficult and may become anxious following a house move or when starting a new school.

Children who have had a distressing or traumatic experience, such as a car accident or house fire, may have anxiety afterwards.

Family arguments and conflict can also make children feel insecure and anxious.

Teenagers are more likely to have social anxiety than other age groups, avoiding social gatherings or making excuses to get out of them.

Find out more about social anxiety.

How to help an anxious child

If a child is experiencing anxiety, there are things that parents and carers can do to help.

First and foremost, it's important to talk to your child about their anxiety or worries. Reassure them and show them you understand how they feel.

If your child is old enough, it may help to explain what anxiety is and the physical effects it has on our bodies. It may be helpful to describe anxiety as being like a wave that builds up and then ebbs away again.

As well as talking to your child about their worries and anxiety, it's important to help them find solutions.

For example, if your child is worried about going to a sleepover, it is natural to want to tell them not to go. However, this could mean your child feels that their anxiety will stop them from doing things.

It's better to recognise their anxiety and suggest solutions to help them, so they can go to the sleepover with a plan in place.

Other ways to ease anxiety in children

teach your child to recognise signs of anxiety in themselves

encourage your child to manage their anxiety and ask for help when they need it

children of all ages find routines reassuring, so try to stick to regular daily routines where possible

if your child is anxious because of distressing events, such as a bereavement or separation, look for books or films that will help them to understand their feelings

if you know a change, such as a house move, is coming up, prepare your child by talking to them about what is going to happen and why

try not to become overprotective or anxious yourself

practise simple relaxation techniques with your child, such as taking 3 deep, slow breaths, breathing in for a count of 3 and out for 3.

distraction can be helpful for young children. For example, if they are anxious about going to nursery, play games on the way there, such as seeing who can spot the most red cars

turn an empty tissue box into a "worry" box. Get your child to write about or draw their worries and "post" them into the box. Then you can sort through the box together at the end of the day or week

Find out more

When should we get help?

If your child's anxiety is severe, persists and interferes with their everyday life, it's a good idea to get some help.

A visit to a GP is a good place to start. If your child's anxiety is affecting their school life, it's a good idea to talk to their school as well.

Parents and carers can get help and advice about children's mental health from Young Minds' free parent helpline on 0808 802 5544, from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm.

Find out more about treatments on our page about anxiety disorders in children.

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How to help your child deal with anxiety about things such as going to school or socialising with friends. Also, how to tell when it's time to get medical help.

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People contact us with all sorts of concerns and what might be a small issue to you may be huge to someone else.

You could be going through something new or have been struggling to cope for some time, either way, we're here if you feel you need some extra support.

If what's getting to you isn't on this list, please still get in touch.

Common reasons people contact us are:

relationship and family problems

loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement

financial worries

job-related stress

college or study-related stress

loneliness and isolation

depression

painful and/or disabling physical illness

heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs

thoughts of suicide

We won't make decisions for you, and we'll support the decisions you make.

You are the expert on your own life. Our advice or opinions are not important.

If you want advice, we may be able to give you contact details for organisations that specialise in helping with specific problems and situations.

Calling from some landlines
All UK mobile phone networks and telephone providers have confirmed to us that Samaritans' 116 123 number is available and free to call from landlines and mobiles.

However, some offices, organisations and care homes have restrictions on the types of numbers that can be dialled; this means that if you try call us from an office phone, you might get a busy tone or message saying that it is an unrecognised number.

If you're unable to change the settings of your phone system, you can also call 116 123 for free from any UK mobile. Another option is to call 0330 094 5717 (local call charges will apply and will appear on your bill).
Has Samaritans' UK helpline number changed?
Yes, in September 2015, we launched a our new UK helpline number, 116 123. (It replaces our old UK helpline number, 08457 90 90 90.) Our listening service is exactly the same.

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Whatever you're going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on 116 123.

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Become a member Access therapy Helping your child Get help Living with anxiety can be challenging, however, you're not alone - we're here for you. Join us now to get an extensive package of support and to become part of a community of people who live with and understand anxiety.

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Young Minds: Supporting a child with anxiety

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Young Minds: Supporting a child with anxiety

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What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that is experienced as a combination of physical sensations, thoughts and feelings.

All children and young people feel worried sometimes, and this is a normal part of growing up. At certain points, such as on their first day of school or before an exam, young people may become more worried, but will soon be able to calm down and feel better.

Anxiety can become a problem when a young person feels stuck in it, or when it feels like an overwhelming, distressing or unmanageable experience. If this kind of worrying goes on for a long time, it can leave a young person feeling exhausted and isolated, and limit the things they feel able to do.

If your child is struggling with anxiety, there are things you can do to help them - including providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together and finding the right professional help if they need it.

What makes young people anxious?

A young person may feel anxious for a number of different reasons, depending on the individual. If your child is feeling unmanageable amounts of worry and fear, this is often a sign that something in their life isn't right and they need support to work out what the problem is.

The following kinds of things can make some children and young people feel more anxious:

experiencing lots of change in a short space of time, such as moving house or school

having responsibilities that are beyond their age and development, for example caring for other people in their family

being around someone who is very anxious, such as a parent

struggling at school, including feeling overwhelmed by work, exams or peer groups

experiencing family stress around things like housing, money and debt

going through distressing or traumatic experiences in which they do not feel safe, such as being bullied or witnessing or experiencing abuse.

This video by Braive (2m 30s) is a useful way of understanding how stress and anxiety can build up in a person's life.

Symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety tends to affect a young person's body, thoughts and feelings. They may also behave differently, including turning to certain coping behaviours to try to avoid or manage their anxiety.
Physical symptoms:

panic attacks, which can include having a racing heart, breathing very quickly, sweating or shaking

shallow or quick breathing, or feeling unable to breathe

feeling sick

dry mouth

sweating more than usual

tense muscles

wobbly legs

irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), diarrhoea or needing to pee more than usual

getting very hot

Thoughts and feelings:

preoccupied by upsetting, scary or negative thoughts
nervous, on edge, panicky or frightened

overwhelmed or out of control

full of dread or an impending sense of doom

alert to noises, smells or sights

worrying about being unable to cope with daily things like school, friendships and being in groups or social situations

worrying so much that it is difficult to concentrate and/or sleep

Coping behaviours:

withdrawing or isolating themselves - including not wanting to go to school, be in social or group situations, be away from parents or try new things

repeating certain behaviours, actions or rituals (often called 'obsessive compulsive behaviours')

eating more or less than usual

self-harming

How to help your child in an anxious moment

When your child is in the middle of a very anxious moment, they may feel frightened, agitated or worried about having a panic attack. The important thing to do in the moment is to help them calm down and feel safe.

These strategies can help:

Remember that everyone is different, and that over time you and your child can work together to find the things that work best for them in these moments.

How to help your child manage their anxiety

Outside of moments when your child is feeling particularly anxious or panicky, there are things you can do over time to help them manage their anxiety and feel better.

A lot of these strategies are about helping your child to understand themselves and find out what works for them. The more confident they feel about helping themselves when things are hard, the more they will believe in their ability to cope - helping to reduce feelings of panic.

Some children and young people with anxiety will need professional and specialist help to feel better. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as medication or talking therapy. You can find more information about this below.

Young people tell us it helps to...

find positive activities you enjoy

think about something you're looking forward to

do physical exercise

learn mindfulness and yoga

imagine your thoughts leaving your brain and floating off into the sky

keep yourself occupied

have time out

reflect on how you're feeling

talk to other people you trust

remind yourself you're not alone - odds are someone in your friendship circle has anxiety or depression too

Finding professional help

It's a good idea to seek professional support if self-help strategies are not making the situation better and anxiety is affecting your child's life - for example if they are feeling persistently anxious, often having distressing thoughts, or avoiding things like going outside or speaking to others.

There are different places where you can find help for your child. Your GP, your child's school and considering whether counselling or therapy might help are good places to start.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help for your child.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS, getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help for your child.

You might also find helpful...

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Supporting A Child With Anxiety | Tips & Advice

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What is anxiety? Anxiety is a feeling of worry or fear that is experienced as a combination of physical sensations, thoughts and feelings. All children and young people feel worried sometimes, and this is a normal part of growing up.

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Childline: Managing Stress and Anxiety Video

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Childline: Managing Stress and Anxiety Video

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We're all different, and there are many different feelings we can experience, at different times. Some are more well known than others, such as `Excitement' or `Anger', but some can be harder to understand, like Anxiety.

Millions of years ago we relied on Anxiety to keep us out of harm's way. At the slightest sign of danger our bodies would bring on this uneasy, urgent feeling to jolt us into action or get us to RUN AWAY!

These days our bodies still try to protect us, but life's evolved.

There are a load more things to worry about and they have a habit of piling up without us noticing.

Anxiety can feel like all kinds of things that twisted, shaky feeling in your stomach or the strange nervousness that makes you want to hide away from the world. It can make you tired, frustrated and upset.

Anxiety can start as a simple worry but grow into a panic! And convince you that you're losing it altogether. It can make you scared, restless, speed up your heart but give no explanations as to why it's happening.

It might not feel like it, but anxiety is completely natural and can affect anybody, for all kinds of reasons like exam stress, family troubles, new places or a mixture of things.
It can even come for no apparent reason, but the good news is that you can reduce it, and the first step is to talk about it.

Talking about how you feel is a great way to feel better. You don't have to face things alone. So if you ever want to get stuff off your chest, then you can contact Childline. They're there to listen.

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We're all different, and there are many different feelings we can experience, at different times. Some are more well known than others, such as `Excitement' or `Anger', but some can be harder to understand, like Anxiety. Millions of years ago we relied on Anxiety to keep us out of harm's way.

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school.

Get advice and updates directly to your inbox

Join our fight for children and young people's mental health. Sign up to the YoungMinds mailing list to receive our monthly e-newsletter, campaign updates, information about events and fundraising and other opportunities to get involved in our work.

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Guide Menu for School anxiety and refusal

Guide contents (jump to section)

Real stories related to school anxiety and refusal

School can be a source of support, belonging, learning and community for young people. It can provide roles and responsibilities that make them feel good about themselves, the opportunity to think about their own opinions, access to sport, drama, art, trips and other new things, a sense of progress and achievement, life-long friendships, and supportive relationships with teachers and other adults.

However, every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal. For some young people, school can become challenging, stressful and distressing over a longer period of time.

If your child is struggling at school, the important thing is to recognise there's a problem to be solved, and to work with them and the school to find the right support as soon as you can.

Signs a young person is feeling worried about school

Young people can feel worried, anxious or unmotivated about school for lots of different reasons.

Some will be worried about something that's happening at school, while others may find school overwhelming because of difficulties in other parts of their life.

Every child and young person will worry about things that happen at school from time to time - and that's completely normal.

Young people tell us their worries about school can include:

finding the work difficult, or having problems concentrating

finding school exhausting, especially if they are dealing with mental health issues

feeling pressure to get good exam results

difficult relationships with friends and friendship groups

not feeling accepted or that they 'fit in'

not getting on with teachers

feeling pressured to be the same and learn like everyone else

experiencing or witnessing bullying

feeling unsupported and not seen as an individual

additional needs such as dyslexia not being recognised

feeling average or no good in a class of high-achieving peers

Young people may show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

being reluctant to go to school

getting very worried about relatively small issues, such as remembering the right equipment for
a lesson

feeling sick or having stomach or headaches

not doing schoolwork, or getting lower marks

being angry or upset, or acting out

exploding when they get home, even if they seem okay at school

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

refusing to go to school at all

not going to school without you knowing

Helping your child with school anxiety

Share our Beano videos with younger children

If you have a younger child who's feeling worried about starting at a new school, making friends or fitting in, we teamed up with our friends over at Beano studios to make a series of fun videos to help them.

Helping your child with school refusal

Ask the school to arrange a reduced timetable, with only a few lessons each week - with the aim of building back up when it feels manageable for your child.

Discuss the possibility of changing forms, sets or tutors if your child thinks this would help.

Request a home visit from the school, where a staff member can check-in, show your child the school cares about them and discuss strategies for moving forward.

Think about small, achievable targets your child can work towards.

What will happen if my child doesn't go to school?

If your child is regularly missing days of school, or not going at all, the school's first step will usually be to work with you to try to solve the problem.

Letting the school know what's going on as early as possible, sharing information, attending meetings and being open to trying new strategies will encourage them to take a supportive approach.

If the absence continues, the school may refer you to an Education Welfare Officer from the local council. This person will usually arrange a home visit to find out what's happening and work with you to try to resolve the problem.

If needed, the school and other professionals may also refer your child for other support, including for their mental health.

If your child cannot attend school for a period of time because they are not mentally well enough, it is likely that you will need to provide evidence from a GP or another professional.

If the school is pressuring you to get your child back to school and the communication doesn't feel constructive, a good first step is to re-emphasise to them why your child isn't attending - for example because they do not feel mentally well enough. It may also help to get advice and support from your Local Education Authority.

If the school or local council think your child is missing school without a good reason, you can face legal consequences such as fines.

Tips for working with your child's school

Depending on how difficult your child is finding things, you can discuss some of the following strategies with the school:

linking them with a member of staff, for example from the pastoral team, who they can chat to

linking them with a peer buddy or mentor

finding a way for them to feel more part of the school community, for example by joining a club

thinking of ways they can structure break-times if they are finding them difficult

offering them a new role or responsibility, such as library or book-corner monitor, or learning mentor

offering a flexible start-time or timetable

referring them for additional support such as counselling

What to do if you're unhappy with how things are being handled

If you are unhappy with the way a member of staff is responding to your concerns, escalate them to a more senior person - such as a more senior teacher, a deputy head, or the head teacher. If this doesn't work, you can contact the school governors (their contact details should be on the school's website), and lastly the Local Education Authority or the Academy Trust.

Finding professional help

A school counsellor or therapist can provide emotional support and help your child to express and make sense of their feelings. If this is offered by your child's school, you can talk to their teacher about making a referral.

If your child's school does not offer counselling, or your child would not feel comfortable seeing a counsellor at school, you can use our guide to help you access it elsewhere.

If you're worried about your child's mental health or wellbeing, speaking to your GP is often a good first step. They can discuss your concerns and, if needed, refer your child for more support - including to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Your child's school can also refer your child to CAMHS. If you would like their support with a CAMHS referral, it might help to talk to the school nurse.

If you think your child may have additional needs or learning difficulties, speak to their teacher or the school's SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) about whether they need to be referred for an assessment. They may then be able to access additional support through the school.

Children and young people under 25 who need more support than their school can provide are entitled to an Education, Health and Care (EHC) plan. EHC plans identify their needs and set out the support that will be provided. You, your GP and your child's school can ask your local authority to carry out an assessment for this. The process can take a long time, so it's often a good idea to try to get support through the school fist.

Your local authority's 'Local Offer' also outlines how parents of children with SEND can access information and local services. You can search for this on your local authority's website.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing CAMHS and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

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School Anxiety & Refusal | Parents Guide To Support

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If your child is anxious about going to school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support them and work with their school. Get advice and updates directly to your inbox Join our fight for children and young people's mental health.

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The coronavirus pandemic is affecting the way many of us live our lives, and it's normal that this will affect people's mental health. We've gathered some tips and resources that might be helpful.

⚠️ We're updating the information on this page in relation to the coronavirus pandemic. The advice on this page may change significantly as the situation continues to develop.

Page last updated: 8 January 2021

You may be feeling more worried or unsettled by what's going on in the world. It might seem like a lot is happening outside of our control, and this can feel overwhelming. As we settle into winter, we know that we're going to be spending our time a little differently this season. It's natural that these changes can affect our mental health and wellbeing. At Samaritans, we're committed to helping you if you're struggling to cope, however we can.

Samaritans is a critical service, needed now more than ever. Our volunteers are working hard to minimise disruption to our services and support the people who need us. While it may take us longer to answer the phone or respond to emails, we're still here, 24 hours a day.

The latest government guidance and lockdown measures mean that we won't have the social contact that some of us are used to. It's normal that the uncertainty and changes to our day-to-day lives might affect our mood. During this time, it will be important to look after our mental health. If you're finding things tough, share how you are feeling with others, however you can.

In case it's helpful, we have gathered some tips and resources to help you look after your wellbeing at this time.

Tips for taking care of your mental health

Pay attention to what you're feeling - Our self-help web app can help you track your mood and includes practical tips and techniques to help you look after your emotional health.

Connect with people you love - Although we may be physically isolated from one another, it's more important than ever for us to feel socially connected, so try and reach out to people to talk, and try to be there to listen to others.

Talk about your feelings - Talking about how you're feeling can help put things into perspective and may help you feel more positive about the future. If you don't feel like there's anyone you can talk to, you are never alone. Samaritans volunteers are here for you.

Keep to a routine - Planning your day can help you feel grounded if you're feeling uncertain about the future. Try to prioritise eating well, getting plenty of sleep and exercising - wrapping up warm for a short walk outside at lunchtime can be a great place to start.

Make time for something you enjoy - You could try learning a new skill, doing something creative or revisiting your favourite books and movies. If you're active online, making time for other activities can help you take a break from the news cycle or social media.

Try a relaxation exercise - Sometimes something simple like controlled breathing can help us feel calmer. Follow along with the video below or try the muscle relaxation exercise on our practical things you can do to help yourself cope page.

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If you're worried about your mental health during the coronavirus pandemic

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The coronavirus pandemic is affecting the way many of us live our lives, and it's normal that this will affect people's mental health. We've gathered some tips and resources that might be helpful. ⚠️ We're updating the information on this page in relation to the coronavirus pandemic.

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In November 2021, a new variant of coronavirus was detected in South Africa and was named Omicron. Omicron has a few different mutations, which means that it behaves differently from other variants we have seen.

What do we know about Omicron?

Research is ongoing so we still don't know everything about the variant, but here's what we do know:

How quickly is it spreading?

How severe is the disease?

It is not yet clear whether infection with Omicron causes more severe disease compared to infections with other variants. There is currently no information to suggest that symptoms associated with Omicron are different from those from other variants. All variants can cause severe disease or death however, so it's important to follow the government guidelines to stay safe, and get your booster jab.

Will the vaccine protect me from Omicron?

We don't yet have all the information on this, however there's early evidence to suggest that the two doses of the vaccine offers slightly less protection against Omicron than against other variants. The good news is that experiments have shown that the booster jab massively boosts levels of neutralising antibodies, which fight against the virus, so there is hope that a third dose of the vaccine may offer good protection against Omicron.

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Coronavirus: Tips & Information - The Mix

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In November 2021, a new variant of coronavirus was detected in South Africa and was named Omicron. Omicron has a few different mutations, which means that it behaves differently from other variants we have seen. What do we know about Omicron?

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The Covid-19 pandemic has been an uncertain time for all of us and has been tough in so many ways. We've all had to face a lot of change, with isolation rules, restrictions, lockdowns and working from home or home schooling, and sometimes it can feel difficult to know when it will end. Therefore, it's only natural that it affects how we think and feel.

The pandemic may have made you feel:

anxious about the future

worried that you or a loved one will get ill with Covid-19

nervous about being in big groups or social events

lonely or isolated

hopeless and down

grief if you have lost a loved one

grief for events that should have happened during this time but couldn't

like you've missed out the last few years of your life

The important thing to remember is that however you are feeling is valid. We've all had to go through the pandemic, and so there will be many people out there who also feel like you right now - you are not alone. With the right help and support, you can get through this - and we have information and advice that can really help.

If you find yourself feeling down during self-isolation, it can be very easy to slip into the mindset that you are alone, but this isn't the case.

If you're feeling hopeless

It's natural after this long to worry that the pandemic will never end, which may leave you feeling hopeless about the future. If you feel this way, try taking some time to think about how far you've already come. Adapting to change and uncertainty is not easy, and you should feel proud of how you've got through all you've faced in the last few years.

Whether you got through having to isolate, having coronavirus, home-schooling, or maintaining relationships and friendships in a pandemic, it shows your resilience and strength, and can give you hope for the future that you can get through it.

It's also important to remember that you don't have to go through these things on your own. If you're feeling hopeless and down, speak to someone you trust about it. It's likely they will have experienced the same feelings at some point, and knowing that you are not alone can give you hope for the future.

A few of our Activists and bloggers have shared how they're dealing with feelings of hopelessness in the Covid-19 pandemic.

You may find that reading the news about Covid-19 makes you feel overwhelmed. It's normal when something big is happening to want to check the news a lot, but with everything that's going on, this can begin to have a negative impact on our mental health. If you're finding all the bad news overwhelming, it might be time to limit your news intake.

Here are three tips that can really help:

If you find it difficult to turn off your phone, or find yourself constantly checking the news and social media, fill your feed with accounts that share positivity.

Struggling with anxiety

It is completely normal during times of uncertainty to feel a bit more anxious than usual, and the Covid-19 pandemic is a time of great uncertainty. So, if you're struggling with anxiety, you are not alone. We're all in this together, and help is available if you need it.

After spending so much time at home during the pandemic, unable to socialise, go to school or see your friends in person, it is normal to feel some anxiety about being in social situations again. You might have mixed feelings about the easing of restrictions - that's very normal. There's no need to feel guilty if you're not as excited as some other people are, or you don't feel ready to go back to how things were. Remember that it's okay to take things at your own pace.

If you are feeling anxious about seeing people again, or being out in public, try taking small steps - for example, you could start by going on a small walk each day and slowly increase the time you are out for. Or if you are going to a social event or seeing someone, you could let them know in advance about how you are feeling. You could discuss with them some things that might make you feel safer or less anxious, such as meeting in a certain place, asking them not to hug you yet, or wearing a mask if they can.

It's normal to feel worried about the rules and regulations changing. But if you find you're worrying so much that it's becoming hard to do other things, speak to a friend or trusted adult about how you're feeling. For tips on how to start that conversation, have a look at our reaching out for help page.

If you have been shielding during the pandemic, the easing of restrictions may feel especially scary. This is completely understandable and everyone's situation is different, so it's important you do what is right for you. You may want to talk to a GP if you have particular health concerns, and they can help you understand what you can do to keep safe.

It's important to remind yourself that you have your own boundaries and, pandemic or no pandemic, nobody can dictate to you what you should or should not be doing.

Our blogger Gigi, 25, shares how she has been struggling with social anxiety since the easing of lockdown measures, as well as what has helped her cope.

Next time I will be honest with the friends around me and ask for help if I am feeling anxious - I don't need to hide how I'm feeling. I have also asked one of them to come for a walk with me away from the group if I say I need it.

Gigi's story: Coping with social anxiety as lockdown eases

Gigi, 25

With so much focus on the coronavirus, it's understandable if you are experiencing - or have experienced - anxiety about getting sick. When this starts to have a negative effect on your mental health, it is known as health anxiety .

If you are struggling with health anxiety, speak to someone you trust about how you're feeling and see your doctor if you're finding it hard to cope. Help is available, and you deserve to feel better.

Our blogger Hattie, 22, has shared her experience of developing health anxiety since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Having the same distressing thoughts and urges again and again can be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder. If these thoughts and urges revolve around germs or health, the Covid-19 pandemic may have been a particularly difficult time. If this sounds like you, we have tips and advice that can help.

Our Activist Charlie has shared their experience of coping with OCD during the coronavirus pandemic, including what has helped them.

To find out more about OCD and where to get help, have a look at our guide:

Even just going out with my friends can be a challenge at the moment, but we have found that little and often is the best way to make progress and readjust to being in public.

Tips and advice from young people

Tips for coping in self-isolation or lockdown

Whether it's as part of a national lockdown, or you're quarantining for another reason, self-isolating can be really difficult. It's normal to feel anxious, down, frustrated - or even just bored. It can be helpful to remember that isolation is temporary, and it won't be like this forever. Each day that passes you're a day closer to being out of isolation!

Below are some things you can do to keep yourself occupied in lockdown or self-isolation.

School and Covid-19

After so long studying from home, it's only natural for school to feel a bit strange, even if you've been back for a while. Everyone adapts to things at a different pace - there is no "right" way to feel.

If you're worried about catching Covid-19, remember that everyone is doing their best to prevent that from happening, and your school wouldn't have been able to reopen if it wasn't safe.

If you find school difficult for any reason, you may have found it hard to readjust after studying from home for so long. You deserve to feel safe, so if you are struggling at school, it's important to speak to an adult you trust so that they can help.

Whatever you're struggling with, visit our guide with advice and tips for coping with problems at school.

Grief and Covid-19

Dealing with loss is difficult and there is no right way to react when someone dies. If you have lost someone during the Covid-19 pandemic, it may feel particularly hard to cope with if you weren't able to see them before they passed, or you weren't able to attend a funeral or memorial service. If this is the case, you might find it helpful to think of your own way you can mark their life, such as creating a memory box, writing down your thoughts and memories of them, or lighting a candle and having a time of silence.

For more tips and advice on dealing with grief and loss, visit our guide.

Real stories from young people

Get help now

See below for a list of organisations and helpline services that have information to support you.

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Coronavirus and Mental Health | Covid-19 Support

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The Covid-19 pandemic has been an uncertain time for all of us and has been tough in so many ways. We've all had to face a lot of change, with isolation rules, restrictions, lockdowns and working from home or home schooling, and sometimes it can feel difficult to know when it will end.

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COVID-19 advice and support for parents and carers

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Whether you're working from home with your kids or supporting children with anxiety due to coronavirus, we've got tips and advice for you.