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My dear Phyllis,

I feel so very lucky to have been the last person to see you smile. I'm grateful I had the chance to come visit you on Christmas, along with Manher and Enrique, to sing you Christmas carols, bring you a special homemade dinner cooked by Becky, and adorn you with a colorful lei as we sang a Hawaiian Christmas song. I will cherish this moment with you always. I'm deeply honored to have been with you in your final hours, and to have the privilege of calling you my friend. I love you. I miss you. I will carry you always in my heart.

Your friend,

Minda

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Phyllis partying with Karen at Karen's 50th birthday party, August 2021

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Thank you for years of dancing at cohousing morning and night through covid lockdown. Then we continued our morning meditation for years. We met in your unit after you transitioned on to send you on your way with a group meditation, Reiki energy and singing bowls. For years we enjoyed our 10 min meditation apps of Headspace and Calm. I appreciate and cherish all our times together. I think at cohousing, we can all say “what would Phyllis have done,” to carry on your wisdom and huge contributions to our community. See the video I took of your poem at cabin fever two years ago! Much love and light to all of us as we grieve and remember Phyllis tomorrow at the memorial Jan 21. We love you Phyllis.

-- Karen

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Gabby and Maohua with Phyllis at Phyllis' 71st birthday celebration on May 29, 2022

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Sharing the Phyllis love and celebrating Phyllis' leadership of the building envelope and balcony repair project - July 2022

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I found the following poem by Mary Oliver among Phyllis' things. The poem speaks to Phyllis' disposition as a skeptic, questioner, someone who observes the world and sits in wonder about the mystery, marvel, and meaning of it all, while living a bold and embodied life. -- Minda

The Summer Day

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean—

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?

—Mary Oliver

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Phyllis at Boat Meadow beach in Eastham with Jan and Linda 7/24/21.

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Jan and I enjoyed having Phyllis come visit with us at our home in Eastham. She loved getting up early in the morning and taking walks on the beach, and returning to the house with something yummy to eat for breakfast.

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Phyllis loved to walk and would never pass up an opportunity to go somewhere new. I will miss our walks and all the conversations we had together.

Linda

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Phyllis was such a wonderful friend of my mom's (Jane). We often spoke of her in our calls, and I looked forward to spending time with her on my visits to my mom. Phyllis was an incredible friend and support to me and my siblings around the end of our mom's life as well. She was a beautiful, kind, strong woman who will be deeply missed. Much love and many blessings to you and the JP community. -- Lucia Maya

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Phyllis was such a dear friend to my mom (Jane), and to me, and Lucia and David when we were there with Jane in her finals months and days. After our mom passed and my wife Terri and I had finished the complicated and arduous process of emptying the last things from her home, Phyllis invited us to stay with her at her Hull rental home for a couple of days. I loved the long walks on the beach there the most. Collecting stones together and talking and walking by the ocean. -- Tashe Kurland

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11/2022, Thanksgiving at Coast Guard Beach.  Phyllis was always happy at the beach!     -- Jan, Linda, Phyllis.   

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Phyllis,

I miss you so much. I feel as though the wind was knocked out of me.

I keep thinking, "I should ask Phyllis... oh yeah." or "I wonder if Phyllis would like...oh yeah."

I know I shouldn't have been so surprised, but I just thought I would have more time. More time to tell you how much I've enjoyed our friendship over the last two decades.

I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your skills and how sorely they will be missed here. You are irreplaceable.

More time to hear you laugh.

I never played a Scrabble game with you. I get beaten by the worst scrabble players, so I know I wouldn't have been challenging enough for your amazing brain.

I will miss your desserts so much!

Please visit me in my dreams, maybe play a game of scrabble with me and let me win (You would likely have replied, "Only in your dreams, Jeanne, would I let you win.")

Visit me in my dreams and make me something with one of your amazingly flakey crusts.

Or visit me in my dreams and say nothing, just visit me, because the idea of not seeing you again is too painful.

-Jeanne

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Phyllis at a coffee plantation with us in Oaxaca, MX

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Dear Phyllis,

When we hung out the Saturday 12/23 we talked about picking a rehab, and about how hopeful it felt that you qualified for radiation still. That wasn't a goodbye visit.

I was planning to tell you how much you meant to me. How much I've learned from you over the years building cohousing together. I wanted to ask more questions. I wanted advice on baking, on picking the right meat for the grill, on where to vacation in Florida. That wasn't a goodbye visit.

I went through photos of our trip to Mexico last night. I wanted to look at the photos with you, maybe create a collage or a photo album. Remember the coffee plantation where you got swept up and bought a ton of coffee? And you don't even drink coffee anymore? And how fabulous it was that you just gave me the coffee once we got home?

Goodbye Phyllis. I miss you very much. I love you.

Patti

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Phyllis and Inga on a day trip to New Bedford, Summer 2016

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Bidding Edan farewell as he goes off to college - Aug 2023

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Honoring our Beautiful Balcony Queen - May 2022

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Phyllis holding baby Noam, flanked by Jonas and Jane - early 2014

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Phyllis performs her poem at Cabin Fever Day, Spring 2023

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Limerick about Cohousing

There once was a tribe called Cohousing

They found each other by browsing

We joined whether brave or naïve

A web of connections, we sought to weave

Around noise-clutter-emotion-design-taste-tolerance, you find your edge

When up against it, you leave or you hedge

I know more than I should about my mates

Does it cause you to expand, or do you deflate?

We are up against ourselves at every turn

We can close down, or we can learn

There is more to gain than we often admit

If only we are open, to let it sit

Such a rich place we have built to be

If we are just open enough, to see

- Phyllis Giuliano

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Daily dance time during the pandemic lockdown at Jamaica Plain Cohousing

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Phyllis has been a part of the fabric of our community experience and our children’s lives from all those beginnings. I have so many pictures of her at birthdays, at community retreat, at dinners… Sometimes we agreed, sometimes we disagreed, but I always knew how thoughtful she was , how hard she worked, and how fiercely she cared for our shared community. -Lauren

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Phyllis, I and everyone who knew you are so sad that you are gone. This news reminded me of how much I regret not being in better touch recently, and also of course of the death of my mother, Jane, who you did so much to support. Most of all, I wish you could have met Lev; instead, here is a picture.

Saying goodbye with all of my heart,

David

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Phyllis chatting with Janet & Laurie at Barb & Bob's wedding in 1994.

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To our wonderful Phyllis -

After 35 or so years of friendship,

scores of shared beach houses,

countless hours of conversation,

a multitude of meals made and shared,

100s of walks,

many miles on our bikes,

and lots and lots of laughter,

it feels like you left us too soon.

Words cannot express how much we miss everything about you, but especially your smile, your wit, your courage, and your zest for life.

With gratitude for the time we had together,

Barb & Bob

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Celebrating her 71st birthday, May 29, 2022

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Daveed, Karen, Phyllis and Michal in Hull,  Summer 2022

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Summer day in Hull at Phyllis’s rental house. Wonderful day culminating in Michal’s orchestral music concert down the road at an abby.

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Presenting a homemade fruit tart for Minda’s birthday on July 7, 2022

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After decorating Jane’s casket, August 2021

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Phyllis and I became good friends as well as having a long professional association.  She will be missed, I know especially by her friends and J.P. Cohousing “family”.

David & Kimberly Leggett

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Here's Phyllis, who resisted cell phones for a very long time, taking a selfie of us! We were in Anna Maria Island in Florida for a week (one of her favorite beaches) in the early 2010s. It was cold and of course Phyllis didn't want to waste the day doing "nothing", so she organized a shopping trip. So many beaches together over the years - I know I'll think of you every time I discover a new one.

Holding you in my heart,

Amy

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Dear Phyllis,

I am so sorry that I hadn’t seen you in a long time and now you are gone too soon. As members of our self-described group “the yoginis” for many years, besides yoga with Steffi Shapiro, we shared a multitude of dinners and conversations and many, many group hugs. Here are a couple of pictures from when we all traveled to Oregon in 1997 to visit Laura, one of the yoginis who moved there. You were a woman of many talents and lots of curiosity about different facets of life. I respect what a hard worker and take charge woman you were. And I’m glad that we all loved going to the beach and spent some happy days there. I am glad that you made so many new friends and comrades at JP Co-housing. I know you were an integral part of that group and will be sorely missed by many. May you be completely peaceful in your new form. May you be nothing but Bliss and Joy and feel the Love from those of us still here.

With Love,

Carolyn

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Phyllis in her element - cooking delicious food for her community while grooving to great music. 😍

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Phyllis was my upstairs neighbor for the past 18 and a half years. After I heard the news, I took a walk out to the nearest place where I could sit by a running river for awhile.  I thought with love and admiration of all Phyllis had given and done to make the lives of those around her better, and to create beauty in the world - from her leadership on the condo board in so many ways that were evident to everyone.... to how understanding and sensitive she was when interacting with in me in her role as Treasurer during times in the past when, as a single mom, I was financially strained and had to work out payment plans for my condo fees... to the effort she put into producing the JP CoHousing Mothers Day Brunch for many years (my mom, who enjoyed some of those brunches along with me and my daughter, sends her respects). The strength of Phyllis's life force as she pursued healing and pushed forward as far as her life journey would take her was an inspiration, and she has my tremendous respect always.

Phyllis Giuliano, Presente!

~ María Christina Blanco

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Ana Maria Island sand collected days after she passed

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We placed our items on the alter (shells and rocks from Phyllis’s collection), and lit a candle.

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Sunshine lit up Phyllis’s face during ceremony

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If you know me, you know that I can be shy about interacting closely with the kind of assertive person Phyllis was. As a result, while I did interact with her in group settings -- dinners, Cabin Fever, JP Jams, General Meetings, etc. -- I didn't interact with her much one-on-one.

Damn -- What I missed!

David (H)