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Michael had been sleeping like the dead rewrite

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Michael had been sleeping like the dead rewrite

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_Michael had been sleeping heavy ,which was unusual for him. He was normally up in the morning early but he had slept through his alarm today.

He looked in the mirror and saw the old scar under his left eye.

“I think it’s recovering”he said to himself “but I still need to take care to that tooth. I guess I was being covered by so much work”.

He looked at his eyes which getting heavier and heavier.He would had an good weekend but now he had an bad one.His Creative Writing class was starting today but he was already late and he felt it is impossible to get to class on time.

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My transformation from a bad student to a good student

Zhangzhifei(4157875)

Beginning: What I want to talk about is the process of a bad student becoming a good student. Does anyone know what conditions are needed? Now, let me share my viewpoint

Middle: When I was in elementary school, I was a bad student who only knew how to cause trouble and attract attention. I didn't value my studies and lived a mediocre life every day. My grades remained in the middle and lower grades. I only knew how to play video games and waste my time. My parents and teachers also criticized education multiple times, saying that it didn't work for me. I was like a rebellious and lazy pig who couldn't realize the value of life. In the end, they all gave up

Until I was in junior high school, I met the most important teacher in my life, who was also my homeroom teacher. When I was at my wit's end and went to a private junior high school, her appearance changed my fate. Unlike the adults who used to criticize me and make me lose interest in learning, she discovered my shining points when my grades were average. She told me that although my math was not good, my language grades were good and encouraged me, saying that I had great potential so a flame ignited in my heart. With her encouragement, my grades slowly improved and I received my first certificate of honor in my life. At that time, I jumped up excitedly. The enthusiastic applause of my classmates made me fall in love with learning and transform into a good student

End: So those who criticize us before we succeed may care about us, but those who encourage us are the benefactors in our lives, and it is precisely this kind of encouragement that can help students transform .The transition from a good student to a bad student requires a bridge, and it is those who encourage you who build this bridge.

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I am introducing a great man who was born into a farmer but gained knowledge of the outside world in order to succeed in his studies. He resolutely left home and went to school to study, starting from the first grade. With his talent, he continuously skipped grades and eventually graduated with excellent grades. Later, he read extensively and participated in a series of patriotic movements, forming the Communist Party of China. He proposed the theory of rural encirclement of cities and armed seizure of political power, and led the Red Army through many years of resistance against Japan, He fought with the Kuomintang, commanded the Long March, crossed Chishui, skillfully crossed the Jinsha River, and carried out the struggle behind the enemy. After decades of struggle, he finally realized the liberation of China. His decades of struggle from a revolutionary youth to a generation of chairman made him old, but also contributed to the story of the Chinese people standing up. After the words of the Chinese people standing up, he represented the rebirth of China. He was Chairman Mao

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Perseverance and determination are the wealth of life

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Perseverance and determination are the wealth of life

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Perseverance and determination are special qualities that only a small number of people have. They can only be obtained after experiencing hardships that ordinary people do not have. This kind of power can bring us a hidden motivation when we are on the verge of collapse. I am fortunate to have this quality, and the outbreak of this quality can be traced back to my third year of junior high school. At that time, the high school entrance examination had to test physical education, so all schools began to focus on students' physical fitness. As soon as there was free time, they urged students to skip ropes, do pull-ups, run, and throw shot put... At that time, I was just a little fat boy. Compared with other students, it was very difficult for me to get full marks for my physical fitness. At that time, I couldn't do a single pull-up, so I could only choose to throw shot put. I was a rubbish in the eyes of those students who were good at sports. However, I still believed that hard work could defeat talent. So I often practiced running alone at night. When I saw the moonlight, I was always proud of my efforts. So in the third year of junior high school, I grew abdominal muscles due to constant training. It was a miracle for me and my roommates. This was the first time I tasted the rewards of persistence and perseverance. Finally, it was time for the physical test. I was full of confidence at the beginning, but when I made mistakes in skipping and shot put and didn’t get full marks, I couldn’t help but feel depressed and asked myself, could my efforts and dedication not be rewarded? I walked onto the track with this mentality. After a whistle, I thought I had lost, but thinking of my nightly practice and every drop of sweat, I told myself that I couldn’t lose! So I made up my mind to give myself an explanation. So my breathing became heavy, but I felt full of strength. My opponents were left behind one by one. Suddenly, there was no opponent in front of me. I was the first! At this time, the teachers in the stands began to cheer for me. But in the last half lap, an opponent rushed up and his teacher also shouted to cheer him on. He passed him. He was also a determined opponent, but I told myself that my perseverance was stronger, so I crossed the line with a strength that surpassed myself. After the race, I lay on the grass and enjoyed the glory of being the first. Although I was one second away from a full score, it was enough. The perseverance and determination I showed made me feel how strong I was. I did it. After the race, I still feel proud when I think back to this past event. Not only because I won the first place, but also because the perseverance I showed will continue to accompany me through the next few years. I will use this strength to overcome the many difficulties in my life and reach the top.

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In a forest, two elegantly dressed women whispered to each other and conspired to kill the emperor. One of them said she would poison the emperor's tea and ask another person to prepare the poison in advance. They planned to poison the emperor tonight in order to create conditions for foreign invasion without leadership. Tonight, the two of them followed the plan: one served the emperor, the other secretly came to the tea room and took advantage of someone's carelessness to put the poison they had bought in the market into the tea water and bring it to the emperor's bedroom. The other served the emperor and asked him to relax his guard. When the tea was served, the woman who served the emperor picked up the poisoned wine glass and fed it to the emperor. However, the emperor suddenly asked the woman to drink with him. The woman paused. After drinking from the wine glass, the emperor relaxed his guard and drank. Soon after, both of them died from poisoning, It turned out that the emperor was an incompetent and incompetent ruler, and under his rule, the people lived in hardship. Therefore, two women designed to poison the emperor to welcome the arrival of the rebel army. In the end, the woman who brought the water also died after drinking a cup of poisoned wine. Later, the new dynasty replaced the old dynasty, and the people's lives improved.

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A wilderness survival expert went alone to the jungle for extreme survival without carrying any items. After setting up a campsite and starting a fire, he suddenly noticed a pair of eyes glowing not far away while grilling, which made him nervous. However, when he was about to look forward with a torch, he realized it was a wild rabbit, which made him relax. But just as he was enjoying the prey he caught by making traps during the day and drinking the river water he obtained from a homemade container, he realized he couldn't finish his food. So he put his food away and went to his self built campsite to rest, But in the middle of the night, he was awakened by the howls of wolves, which made him extremely nervous. He began to regret his decision to survive, and at this moment, his abdomen began to ache. It was obvious that the water he had drunk was not clean, and there were internal pains and external wolves. In this situation, he decisively extinguished the fire and tightly blocked the door, hoping not to be discovered by the wolves. Fortunately, the wolves did not notice him, and the abdominal pain eased. In the morning, when he walked out of the camp, he found a dead rabbit that had already been eaten up. It was obvious that it was the leftover food of the wolves yesterday. After these days of survival, he felt fear for the first time and also felt the greatness of nature

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1. watch out!

A lion is slowly approaching you. Don't just take photos there

2. She was leaving the dock on a small boat

She was sitting on a small boat leaving the dock when he heard someone calling her from the shore

She was slowly leaving the dock on a small boat, and the sadness of parting filled her heart. He heard someone calling her name hoarsely on the shore, and her heart warmed

3. She smelled some delicious food nearby

4. Quiet, this is the library

5. He slowly walked down the stairs to confirm if his parents had returned, and when he looked over, he saw them sweeping away the snow from their bodies

6.run!

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1I'm lazy like a pig

I eat pork like a Wolf

2 Food says eat me eat me so I don't know what to eat

3 Snowflakes are lying on the ground

My mother says you are the smartest child in the world. I seem to have heard the warmest words in the world

5 Punched him in the face and he claimed to have been bitten by a mosquito

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A woman who used to be a member of the rebel army lived a fulfilling and happy life on a farm in a remote area, far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. She even married a local man and had a happy family. They built houses with bricks and worked together, living a life of male plowing and female weaving. However, due to the request of the rebel army, she decided to join them

After the successful overthrow of the old dynasty by the rebel army, the people cheered and the woman returned to her former farm and home with the glory of the rebel army, welcomed by the villagers. However, her home was already deserted. It turned out that when she joined the army, her husband was taken by the national army to become a soldier and died from exhaustion. Fortunately, her child was adopted by a neighbor and survived

At this moment, the originally clear sky suddenly began to rain heavily. The rainwater soaked her hair and slid down her cheeks, forming a pool of water that reflected her tired and sad face. She walked back to her original home in the rain, made meals, but didn't know who to share them with. As a result, tears streamed down her face, venting her inner sadness

She sat alone in the rundown house, from morning till night, pondering the meaning of her remaining life. Suddenly, she remembered her own child, so she picked up a lantern and went to her neighbor's house in the dark. She knocked on the neighbor's door, opened it, chatted with them for a few words, and then asked, "The purpose of my trip is my child." The neighbor randomly called out two children and said, "These are your two children." The woman burst into tears and hugged the children in her arms. She found the meaning of her remaining life, which was to live strong for the two children

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At a station, an old lady saw a vending machine and put in a coin, but the goods did not fall off

The old lady angrily slammed the machine and finally the cookie fell off. Satisfied, she put the cookie into her pocket

She sat on the station bench reading the newspaper and waiting for her train to arrive. When she reached out to get a cookie, a young man sitting next to her took one cookie first and then the second. The old lady roared angrily at the young man, but the young man was not angry. After the young man and the old lady competed for the last cookie, the young man generously handed half of the cookie to the old lady. However, the old lady ground the cookie into powder and angrily got on the train. When she checked the ticket, she found her cookie in the bag, which made her feel very guilty. She looked out the window at the young man

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I casually put the phone in the sun to charge and then went to sleep but did not notice that the phone exploded due to overheating

Your charger got mixed up with someone else's because it was on the living room table and you came back to find your charger missing

Later, they found that the voltage of the charger they took was different from that of my phone, which caused the power to be too high during charging and caused the phone to explode

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In the picture, I am wearing a white short T-shirt, carrying a large backpack on my back, wearing a pair of black-framed glasses, and a jade necklace on my neck. At that time, I was smiling, just like the sunny day at that time, and my heart was full of joy and expectation. At that time, I could hear the birds singing on the trees by the roadside, and from time to time I could smell the fragrance of wild flowers. At that time, I had just returned to Hong Kong from the mainland. After this trip, I not only saw the spectacular sea views on both sides of the Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macao Bridge, as well as the plants covering the hillsides in Hong Kong and the high-rise buildings of various shapes in Shenzhen, which made me re-examine the role of the Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macao Bridge. It not only connects Hong Kong and the mainland, but also greatly promotes the economic, cultural, social and other exchanges between the two places, and satisfies the people of the two places to communicate and communicate, which makes me very happy because I also bought some daily necessities that Hong Kong does not have through this bridge and was satisfied.

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I once heard a song without lyrics. Its name is Victory. The song begins with a bass, then the sound gradually gets stronger and then it reaches the climax, led by a soprano. It arouses my fighting spirit step by step and makes me feel as if I am on the battlefield, fighting bravely with the enemy until the battle is won. This song makes me feel the heroism of war, and appreciate the bravery and fearlessness of the soldiers, which makes me stand in awe.

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True love

LUE3001

Zhangzhifei(4157875)

2024/10/27

Our love is like a sun for a day with ups and downs

That day, I held her hand and our love was like a red red rose

That day she turned around and left  I was a tree watching her leave without saying any words

All I can hear is I  shouting at her back’s sounds

I'm not jealous when I go back to her past, I'm just sad, with a deep affection that she never gave me.

That day, it was raining and raindrops fell down my cheeks, mixed with my tears, and fell to the ground

That day the clouds cried silently , and raindrops fell to the ground with a clattering sound

I pondered deeply about my own mistakes, but ultimately denied the past me

Real love is when you succeed everyone will knocks on your door

Countless people have kicked through the threshold in pursuit of you

Real love is ignored when you are poor

Countless people have closed their doors to avoid you

Therefore, love is a blank sheet of that can be written on paper

The ending is in hands as to how it is written by you

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My transformation from a bad student to a good student

Zhangzhifei(4157875)

2024/9/19

LUE3001

Beginning: What I want to talk about is the process of a bad student becoming a good student. Does anyone know what conditions are needed? Now, let me share my viewpoint

Middle: When I was in elementary school, I was a bad student who only knew how to cause trouble and attract attention. I didn't value my studies and lived a mediocre life every day. My grades remained in the middle and lower grades. I only knew how to play video games and waste my time. My parents and teachers also criticized me multiple times they said if I keep focus on video games I will become a bad student a loser and I will have no future but it didn't work for me. I was like a rebellious and lazy pig who couldn't realize the value of life. In the end, they all gave up

Until I was in junior high school, I met the most important teacher in my life, who was also my homeroom teacher. When I was at the end of my elementary school for the low grade had to went to a private junior high school, her appearance changed my life. Unlike the adults who used to criticize me and make me lose interest in learning, she discovered my shining points when my grades were low. She told me that although my math was not good, my language grades were good and encouraged me, saying that I had great potential so a flame ignited in my heart. With her encouragement, my grades slowly improved and I received my first certificate of honor in my life. At that time, I jumped up I yell I cry to tell others I made it .The enthusiastic applause of my classmates made me fall in love with learning and I transform into a good student

End: So those who criticize us before we succeed may care about us, but those who encourage us are the benefactors in our lives, and it is precisely this kind of encouragement that can help students transform .The transition from a bad student to a good student requires a bridge, and it is those who encourage you who build this bridge.So the conditions for transitioning from bad students to good students are encouragement and hope.

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Drunken concubine

Zhangzhifei(Jack)4157875

LUE3001

short story

2024/10/10

There was a country where the king was stupid, which caused the people to live in hardship and many people starved to death, so there were frequent uprisings, but they were poorly equipped like a battle between a beggar and a regular army.  So in order to destroy the bad king, the head of the dynasty's army, and weaken the fighting power of the army, the rebels chose a beautiful and intelligent woman to enter the palace, and succeeded in winning the trust and support of the bad king with her beauty and wisdom,   And was named the noble princess lurking in the palace, until one day, she agreed to meet the rebels lurking in the palace forest, and through the exchange of information,  the concubine learned that the rebels were powerful, about to attack the most fortified imperial city, so let them find a way to kill the bad king.

At this point, the princess's heart becomes conflicted, if she accepts the task, it means that she will die.    Had she not accepted the mission, she might have survived, but it would have brought more casualties to the rebels.    She could not sleep for a long time in the castle that day, until the next morning, when she went into the forest again, and met the maid again, her eyes firmer, and she knew that there were only two choices, to be busy living, or to be busy dying.    The wind blew through the yellow trees and played a sad song.  She chose to give her life for the cause.

After Princess and maid discuss to kill the bad king with poison in the festival, for this reason, the maid quietly bought poison in the black market in advance.

The festival came,at the banquet the maid crept into the kitchen and the maid thought no one would notice she'd poisoned , but the royal cook found out anyway, but instead of saying anything, he pulled the maid into hiding.    Thinking she had been exposed, the maid tried to kill the cook, but the cook said in time, "I, too, have been sent by the rebels to assist you in your mission" So the maid let her guard down and a confrontation was averted.    He told the maid, "You go and tell the concubine that the rebels have entered the city," and the cook poisoned all the wine glasses when everyone wasn't looking, and he was sent to spy on the princess, and if she failed, he would be the second man to kill the bad king

The bad king invited officials and asked his concubine to pour him wine.    The princess asked her maid to bring in the poisoned wine.    But as the maid approached the bad king step by step, her heart seemed to be scorched by the fire, and she was very nervous.    The maid was sweating like an ant in a hot pot, and her mouth trembled constantly, making the eunuch next to her suspicious.    The princess stood up, took the cup, drank it naturally, and said, "Your Majesty, I have finished it."    At the same time, she smiled and handed the poor king another cup of poisoned wine and said, "Your Majesty, it is your turn to drink."    When the eunuch hesitated, the poor king drank without a doubt.    The princess smiled and went out of the palace.    What a miserable victory!    At the same time, it began to rain heavily outside the palace.    The cloud began to weep and turn gray and black, and a drop of blood came from the princess's mouth and mingled with the tears.    Dyed the land red.    In fact, she knew that all the glasses were poisoned, because she knew that it was extremely dishonorable to be an assassin, so if she did not die at the hands of a bad king, she would die at the hands of her own people to protect the rebel's reputation.    She knew that if she won, she would die a hero, and if she lost, someone else would finish the assassination and she would be forgotten.    So that night, she realized she'd rather be a hero than be buried somewhere no one knows.    In the blink of an eye, all the past left her, leaving only memories.    She was a fighter, a fearless a female, and also a rebel, who did the hardest work in the world, and then the rebels managed to get into the capital, and after the rebels erected a tombstone for the hero, the maid knew she would not survive, drank the poisoned wine, and died.    Then the church bells rang and woke up the whole kingdom.

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Perseverance and determination are the wealth of life

Introduction :Perseverance and determination are special qualities that only a few people possess. They can only obtain it after experiencing hardships that ordinary people do not have. This power can give us a hidden motivation when we are on the verge of collapse. I am very lucky to have this quality, and the explosion of this quality can be traced back to my third grade. That is, my training for the high school physical examination made my perseverance shine through.

Beginning: At that time, the high school exam to test physical education, so all schools began to pay attention to the physical quality of students. Whenever they have free time, they encourage students to jump rope, do pull-ups, run, throw shot put... At that time, I was just a little fat guy. Compared with other students, it is difficult for me to get full marks in physical fitness. At that time, I couldn't do any pull-ups, so I had to put the shot. In the eyes of those students who are good at sports, I am a trash. However, I still believe that hard work can defeat talent. So I often practice running alone at night. Whenever I see the moonlight, I am always proud of my efforts. Even though the night was deep and I was scolded by the dormitory administrator for not giving up, gradually I found that I could do more and more movements such as push-ups and planks. Due to continuous training, I grew abdominal muscles. It was a miracle for me and my roommate. It was my first taste of the rewards of persistence.

Icident:However, in a night run, I unfortunately sprained my ankle, which had no small impact on me because the high school physical examination has been very close. When I was unable to participate in the running at the beginning of my foot injury, I was lying on the bed for the first time and shed tears of unwillingness. At that time, my head teacher came to me and said that children will encounter more than one setback in life, but winners will have the courage to overcome setbacks I believe you, so under the encouragement of the teacher, I actively did the rehabilitation training, and within a week, my foot injury was healed, so I stepped on the track again, and this time my eyes increased a little perseverance

I was confident at the beginning of the fitness test, but when I made mistakes on the jump rope and shot put and didn't get full marks, I couldn't help but feel depressed, and I walked onto the track with this attitude. After the whistle, I thought I had lost, and when I was depressed I asked myself, did my hard work and effort not pay off? Do I give up or do I fight?

Climax:Thinking of the sweat I shed every night of practice, I told myself I couldn't lose! So my breathing became heavy, but I felt full of power. One by one, my opponents were left behind. Suddenly, I had no opponent. I was the first! At this point, the teachers in the stands began to cheer for me. But in the last half of the lap, an opponent charged forward, and his teacher loudly cheered him on. He ran past me. He was also a determined opponent, but I told myself that my perseverance was stronger and that I could go beyond my own strength to cross the line. Even after the game I couldn't believe it was an outburst of power from a fat  man.

Conclusion:After the game, I lay on the grass, enjoying the glory of the first place. I was one second away from a perfect score, but it was enough. The perseverance and determination I showed made me feel how strong I was. After the game, I was very proud. Not only because I won the first place, but also because the perseverance I showed will stay with me for years to come. I will use this strength to overcome many difficulties in life and reach the top.

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Lue3001

Long story

Zhangzhifei

4157875

The Girl in the Mountains

In a remote mountain village called Chunlai Village, the village is surrounded by mountains on three sides, and only the north side is a flat plain. On these three sides of the mountain, the snow often melts and gathers into a river to provide water for this remote village. The villagers can only maintain their basic needs by farming and harvesting a small piece of flat land in this mountainous environment. Three babies were born in the village of Li Dashan, two brothers and a sister. Among them, the younger sister was the most handsome, with a pair of big eyes and a cherry mouth that made people feel festive at first sight, so she was named Li Xichun. The eldest son was born honest and simple, so he was named Li Xinong. The second son had a scholarly temperament and a pair of sharp eyes that revealed wisdom, so he was named Li Ximing. However, due to the low income of his parents, they could only live in the mountains and could not send all three children to school at the same time. After some thought, they finally decided to let the eldest go to school. The reason was that the eldest was the eldest son and the third was a girl.

When the three children grew up to school age, the parents said they would send the eldest to school, so the eldest, Li Xinong, became the hope of the whole family. But the next day, the eldest said to his parents: "Mom and Dad, I'm not a nerd, I'm just stupid and only have strength. You should leave the opportunity to the second and third children." Then he showed his simple and honest smile, and his parents thought it made sense. At this time, a glimmer of hope flashed in the eyes of the third child, but was quickly interrupted by his father. Although the third child was smart as a girl, her character was very cowardly. The father said: "Xichun, you are a woman. You don't need to study in the future. Just marry a good family. Studying is a boy's business." After hearing this, the girl left sadly without saying anything.

That night, the girl sat on the haystack like a prayer, looking up at the moonlight. The moon was like a mother spreading love to the girl. She longed to leave the mountains, she longed to study, and she longed to see the colorful world outside. So, God moved her and gave her a chance.

One day, the girl's cousin came to visit her home. The cousin was wearing a fashionable short-sleeved shirt and shorts. He was tall and cold in appearance, but the girl knew that he often helped relatives. This time he brought a lot of food and gifts that were not available in the mountains. After chatting with the girl's parents, the cousin called the girl and gave her a butterfly hairpin. The girl jumped up happily, and her bright eyes showed a thoroughness like the sea and returned to the house. Outside, the birds kept singing happily for her beauty. At this time, her frozen hope to see the world rekindled the flame of desire.

The smile on the girl's face that day was deeply imprinted in the heart of the eldest brother Xinong. Although he was not very smart, he could see that Xichun not only liked the hairpin, but also longed to see the outside world. So, the next day, the eldest brother walked into the living room and saw his parents sitting on the chair. He pursed his lips and said, "The third child has been smart since childhood. Although she is a girl, I believe she can study well and should not be trapped in the mountains." Father Li Dashan resolutely refused. Xinong knelt on the ground and cried for her sister. Li Dashan was so angry that his beard flew up. He banged the table and stomped his feet to scold Xinong. At this time, Xichun's heart went from nervous expectation at the beginning to helplessness and sadness. Finally, seeing her elder brother like this, she made up her mind and walked in, kneeling on the ground and begging him to let her go to school. Finally, Li Dashan hesitated for a long time and reluctantly agreed. From then on, the girl walked out of the mountains.

The girl rode a bicycle from the village to the county town, and everything in front of her was dazzling. There were all kinds of novel things that could not be found in the mountains. There were vendors on both sides of the street hawking their wares. There were civilians wearing cloth shoes and wealthy people in gorgeous clothes coming and going on the street. Before she knew it, she arrived at the school. The sound of her classmates reading aloud was like beautiful music that the girl couldn't put down. After introducing herself, she chose a seat by the window and sat down. There was another boy at the same table. Although he looked average, his eyes were also clear and bright, and his smile was sunny and gentle, which was very attractive. After a while of chatting, the girl found that he was also very humorous and sincere, and the two got along very well. So the girl lived in the county town, and with her own wisdom, she ranked among the top three in the first final exam. When the whole class cheered for her, the girls who were squeezed out of the top three cast envious eyes on her. So after class, Xichun said goodbye to her deskmate with her schoolbag on her back and went to the toilet first. At this time, the jealous girls surrounded her at the door of the toilet and said, "Hey, isn't this the girl in the top three? You are the top student in the mountains, and you are the country girl." Then, they prepared to attack the girl collectively. Some grabbed her hair and some kicked her stomach. The girl was very scared and huddled in the corner to let them bully her. At this time, the male deskmate who was also going to the toilet stood up in front of the girl and stretched out his hands to protect her. But the attacking girl immediately attacked the boy. The boy did not fight back but protected the girl. At this time, the girl looked at the boy who was covered with bruises to protect herself with a horrified look as if she was looking at a savior. A sense of dependence sprouted in her heart. At this time, other classmates went to find the teacher. The student who hit her was punished, and the boy was sent to the medical room for treatment. The girl looked at the boy who protected her from harm and shed strong tears for the first time. The boy smiled like the morning sunshine and comforted her, saying, "It's okay, I'm glad you're okay. I can protect you all my life if you want." The girl blushed after hearing that. What a sad joy. As Shakespeare said: True love cannot be expressed in words, and actions are the best explanation of loyalty. After that, the two became inseparable friends who talked to each other. They studied together since middle school and even got admitted to the same university. After graduation, the two got married. They lived happily and even had their first daughter. In this way, the girl in the mountains finally saw the outside world. She is a strivers a survivor a succeeder.

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It's the Spring Festival again, and the whole country celebrates. Not only the county town, but also this small mountain village is brightly lit, illuminating the entire mountain. Every family hangs lanterns and posts Spring Festival couplets. There are adults and children setting off firecrackers at the entrance of the village. It's very lively. At this time, the girl's mother called and said, "Xichun, have you been back for a long time? Have you come back for the Spring Festival this year?"

On New Year's Eve, the girl's parents were busy preparing delicious dishes in the old house, such as stir-fried pork with green onions, braised fish, braised prawns with oil, and dumplings. They watched the Spring Festival Gala while waiting for their children to come home, but no one came back for a long time. Li Dashan sat alone on the threshold, smoking a pipe in his hand and blowing out smoke rings from his mouth from time to time. His eyebrows were frowned for a long time and then relaxed. His mood changed from expectation at the beginning to worry and finally helpless. After wandering around the house for a few circles, he was able to hug his body and staggered back to the house like a willow tree that was about to wither. After entering the house, the two looked at the table full of uneaten cold dishes with disappointment and sighed. Li Dashan said: "Put it away, they won't come back." When he was about to clean up the table, Xichun's daughter came in. The sad faces of the two old people instantly turned into surprise. Wang Feng picked up her granddaughter and her face was filled with a smile like eating honey. Then the three children came back with their families, and they spent an unforgettable Spring Festival together.

The girl who was born in the mountains grew up in the mountains, then left her mother's arms, like a bunch of dandelions blown by the wind to take root and sprout somewhere else, flying to the distance with hope and reluctance. Finally, she flew back to the tree like a fallen leaf. As Arlan Hamilton said, "We won't sit and wait for death, we just do it, and we did it."

Analysis: When I wrote about the girl in the mountains, I recalled my childhood life. The girl in the work can be said to be a microcosm of me. I grew up in a poor family and eventually went to study in Hong Kong. It can be said that the girl walked out of the mountains, just like me. I walked out of the poor family to study far away. The cowardly character of the girl in the article is very similar to me. I was bullied and someone helped me, although it was not a love relationship.

I think the most successful part of my article is the two parts of school bullying and Spring Festival visits. According to the comments, I have expanded some key scenes and added character exchanges and the psychological reactions of the protagonist. I provide more information about the protagonist's village, which will help readers understand the challenges she faces and the importance of her achievements. The plot of the story is fascinating. It describes the protagonist's poor background and her struggle. She finally gets happiness and returns to the mountains. It creates a tough but cowardly female image. She is a role model for women from poor families. At the same time, the secondary characters are portrayed with prominent personalities. There is a kind and honest elder brother, a boy who is willing to sacrifice himself for love, etc. It reflects the social constraints of contemporary rural women and the discrimination of education, which has a profound meaning.

I think the failure was also due to the word limit. I didn't mention the protagonist's family life after marrying the boy in the article. Because of this part, I wanted this girl from the mountains to be recognized by the city people. Some parts of the story could have been transitioned more smoothly. For example, the transition from the protagonist's childhood to her school life could have been smoother. There are some repeated phrases and redundant details that can be trimmed to improve the rhythm and fluency. Similarly, more details about the protagonist's time in school and her interactions with classmates would have enriched the story.

As I mentioned earlier, the girl in my writing is a microcosm of me. I also faced the challenge of being bullied. Due to my cowardly character, I didn't dare to resist. But my good friends helped me in time. With the help of the teacher, the classmates who bullied me were punished. No one bullied me anymore. I became the closest friends with my friends who helped me. At the same time, I also experienced the problem that my family's financial strength was not enough to support my schooling. Because I went to a private school with high tuition fees, I lived frugally in the private school and tried to save money for my family. I planned the use of every penny and never spent it on useless things, so I successfully survived the private middle school.

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The girl in the mountains

Once upon a time, three babies, two older brothers, and a younger sister were born in a remote village. However, due to their parents being farmers, they were unable to raise all three of them at the same time. As a result, the parents couldn't sleep at night and ultimately decided to send their eldest child to school. The reason was that the eldest was the eldest son and the third was a girl. In their eyes, girls' education was useless. Therefore, when their children grew up to the age of learning, the parents said they wanted to send their eldest child to school, use their knowledge to leave the countryside, and take the whole family away from the mountains to enjoy a better city life. So the eldest became the hope of the whole family, but the next day, the eldest told his parents, "Mom and Dad, I'm not a bookworm, my brain is stupid, only my strength. You should leave the opportunity to the second and third children." After hearing this, the parents thought it made sense. At this moment, a glimmer of hope flashed in the third child's eyes, but he was soon interrupted by his father, who said, "Third child, you're a woman who can't study in the future. Just marry a good family. Reading is a boy's business." After hearing this, the girl sadly left. You should know that among these three children, the third child is the smartest, and the second child is the smartest. Yes, in the society in the mountains, there is still a strong feudal atmosphere. Women rarely have the opportunity to study.

That night, the girl sat on a pile of grass and looked up at the moonlight, her heart full of unwillingness and helplessness. She was eager to leave this mountain and see the colorful world outside. So, God was moved by her and gave her a chance,

After her parents sent her second son to the school in the county town to study, the girl's cousin visited her home and brought many food and gifts that were not available in the mountains. After chatting with the girl's parents, the cousin stopped the third son and gave her a butterfly hairpin. The girl jumped up happily and returned to the house, putting the hairpin off her head. Outside, the birds kept chirping happily for her beauty. At this moment, the girl in the mountains began to understand the outside world, and her frozen hope of seeing the world reignited the flames of desire.

The smile that bloomed on the girl's face that day was deeply imprinted in the eldest's heart. Although he was not very smart, he could tell that the third child not only liked the hairpin, but also longed to see the outside world. So that night, he found the girl and asked her, "Third child, do you want to go out and see and leave this mountain?" Third child nodded without hesitation, So the eldest child said, "Sister, among the three of us, you are the smartest and the best student. However, your parents are too feudalistic and do not agree to let you go to school, but your brother supports you." The girl was moved and hugged the eldest child, crying and expressing her desires and grievances. The eldest child just listened silently. The next day, the eldest child walked into the living room and saw his parents sitting in chairs. He pursed his lips and said, " The third child have been smart since childhood. Although she is a girl, I believe she can learn well and should not be trapped in the mountains Father firmly refused. At this moment, Lao San walked in and knelt on the ground begging him to let her go to school. Father disagreed. The girl cried and kowtowed for this hard won opportunity, promising to study hard and succeed. At this moment, the mother stood up and said, "Husband, we cannot ruin a child's life for our own benefit. Do you want Lao San, such a smart child, to be trapped in the mountains?" Father reluctantly nodded and left. From then on, the girl walked out of the mountain.

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The girl came to the county town on a tricycle from the village, and everything in front of her was dazzling. Various novel objects were not found in the mountains. When she arrived at the school, her classmates' loud reading made the girl love it. After introducing herself, she chose a seat by the window and sat .At the same table, there was a boy, although his appearance was average, he had clear and bright eyes, and his smile was sunny and gentle, which was very attractive. After a period of small talk, the girl found that he was also very humorous and sincere. They got along very well with each other. So the girl lived in the county town, and with her wisdom, she got into the top three in the first final exam. When the whole class cheered for her, The girl who was squeezed out of the top three cast jealous glances, so when school was over, she gathered her subordinates and surrounded her in the bathroom, saying, "Hey, isn't this the girl from the top three? You're a top student in the mountains, you're just a country bumpkin." After that, she prepared to attack the girl collectively. Just then, the male desk mate stepped forward and stood in front of the girl, protecting the girl. But the girl's henchmen immediately attacked the boy. At this moment, the girl shouted for help and her good friend went to find a teacher. The student who hit him was punished, and the boy was sent to the medical room for treatment. The girl looked at the boy who was protecting herself from the injury and shed strong tears for the first time. The boy smiled like a morning sun and comforted her, saying, "It's okay, you're fine." The girl blushed instantly after hearing this. Afterwards, his relationship with her gradually heated up. She taught him how to learn, and he brought her food. The two became inseparable friends who talked to each other, The two of them have been studying together since middle school and even got into the same university. Just as they were preparing to go to college, the girl's family sent a letter saying that life has been very difficult since the girl went to school, and she has relied on her father and elder brother to farm and her mother to do needlework day and night to barely provide for the second child who also went to college. They didn't have money to support the girl's college education. After receiving the letter, the girl cried in bed all night. The next day, when she was listlessly preparing to give up college and return to the mountains, the boy came to her and told her, "Actually, I know everything about your situation, but don't give up this opportunity to leave the mountains. If you are willing to agree to a condition, I can help you with the money." The girl curiously asked what condition the boy said with a smile. The girl blushed like an apple when she heard 'I like you to marry me after graduation', but soon nodded slowly. The boy took her hand and walked into the university gate together.

After graduation, the two got married, but the boy's relatives didn't like the girl very much. They thought she was a child from the mountains and didn't deserve to marry the boy. The girl worked very hard every day to prove that she not only did housework but also had to go to work. The boy is also very busy, but no matter how busy he is, he still has time to help his wife. Although the boy's family does not agree, with the support of their relationship, they live happily and even have their first daughter.

One day, the boy's mother came over as a guest. The girl was busy and filial to her mother-in-law, but she didn't receive her mother-in-law's respect. Disappointed, the girl sat in the room, thinking to herself, she is the girl from the mountains. At this moment, a noisy sound came from the living room. The girl hurriedly went to check the situation and saw her mother-in-law lying on the ground in pain. The girl was frightened and quickly called the hospital to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation on her mother-in-law who had a heart disease. She was anxiously sent to the hospital. At this moment, the mother-in-law realized that this girl in the mountains whom she had always despised had saved her life. The girl in the hospital stood by her mother-in-law's bed, and the mother-in-law expressed her gratitude to her for the first time. After their communication was very harmonious, the girl's status in her husband's home was significantly improved, and the family was very happy.

It's another year of Spring Festival, and the whole country is celebrating. At this time, the girl's mother called and said, "Lao San, have you been back for a long time? Have you been back for Spring Festival this year.

On New Year's Eve, the girl's parents were busy preparing delicious dishes and making dumplings in their old house. They watched the Spring Festival Gala and waited for their children to come home, but no one came back for a long time. Disappointed, the two of them looked at the table full of uneaten and cold dishes and sighed. Just as they were about to tidy up the table, the girl's daughter walked in. The two of them were pleasantly surprised and then the three children came back with their families. They spent an unforgettable Spring Festival together.

The girl born in the mountains grows up in the mountains and then leaves the embrace of her mother, like a bundle of dandelions blown by the wind to take root and sprout elsewhere, carrying hope and reluctance to fly to the distance.

Specific Suggestions

Dialogue:

Use dialogue to reveal character traits and advance the plot. For example, the conversations between the protagonist and her brother, parents, and husband can be more dynamic and reveal their personalities and motivations.

Descriptive Language:

Enhance the descriptive passages to create vivid imagery. For instance, describe the village, the school, and the county town in more detail to immerse the reader in the setting.

Internal Monologue:

Incorporate more of the protagonist's thoughts and feelings to provide insight into her internal struggles and triumphs. This will make her journey more personal and relatable.

Expansion of Key Scenes:

Expand key scenes such as the protagonist's first day at school, the confrontation with the jealous classmate, and the family reunion during the New Year to add depth and emotional impact.

Conclusion

Overall, "The Girl in the Mountains" is a heartfelt and inspiring story with a strong central theme. With some refinements in pacing, scene development, and character interactions, it has the potential to be even more impactful. Keep writing and refining your work, as each revision brings you closer to creating a truly exceptional story.

Due to the word limit, it is difficult to describe the characters and scenes in the story in more depth, but the detailed description of the characters and scenes does help.

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Zhang Zhifei is a student of Lingnan University in Hong Kong, China. He is the author of "The Girl in the Mountains" and "The Drunken Concubine".

His works are full of tragedy and can bring hope to people.

The girl in the mountains he wrote about experienced many setbacks and finally walked out of the mountains. It is an inspirational story.

At the same time, the author Zhang Zhifei's experience from poverty-stricken areas to college gave him enough experience to create "The Girl in the Mountains".