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Aiden a strength of your information presentation, “FIFA: soccer success” is your word choice. I like how you used the word realism to talk about the game and how the graphics make fifa 23 look realistic. In addition, I liked how you talked about the code and somewhat how it works. It fits into your information topic of how it is so realistic. Although, I don’t think you have as much information as people are looking for. For instance you don’t have a hook so it’s hard to pull in your reader so they listen to what you have to say.

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Aiden a strength of your information presentation, “FIFA: soccer success” is your word choice. I like how you used the word realism to talk about the game and how the graphics make fifa 23 look realistic. In addition, I liked how you talked about the code and somewhat how it works. It fits into your information topic of how it is so realistic. Although, I don’t think you have as much information as people are looking for. For instance you don’t have a hook so it’s hard to pull in your reader so they listen to what you have to say.

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Hi Aiden! The strength of your presentation is the background. This background gives me vibes and feelings about the video games themselves. In addition, I enjoyed the feel of your information. You only show the important info instead of unnecessary info. However, even though you show good information it is minimal. I feel you have info but there isn’t enough.

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Hey Aiden! A strength of your work “Fifa soccer success” is your uniqueness, aka using bulletpoints for your slides. Unlike other slides, which do explanations. You were able to just get to the point with the bullet points. Although, you could work on capitalizing your slides. Along with actually highlighting the text. As the text blends in with the background. Other than that, you have done a very great job.

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The evidence was good. I liked the claim and sum up. The explanation was good but could have been better

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I really like the formation of your writing I just wish you un highlighted your work you work it would make it easier to read.

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Hi Aiden! I really enjoyed how you put what was important in front of the story showing that school needs to start later. Your story sounded persuasive to me and I would fall for it! I also enjoyed how you explained your evidence in a way that people can understand it easily. I consider checking your writing for grammatical errors because I saw errors and personal pronouns.

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A strength about your story is that you really outdid yourself with details, like “i craved it like a Popeyes chicken sandwich” astonishing work Aiden! Another strength i like about your story is you also outdoing yourself with emotions, those 2 are crucial parts of your stories and you really nailed them! Something you can improve on though is describing the landscape more, i struggled imagining the landscape because you didn't really detail those parts of the story. Although beside that, you really outdid yourself!

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A strength of your narrative, I thought it was funny throughout the story, I liked when you said, “…I craved it like a Popeyes chicken sandwich. Another thing I liked was your beginning. I liked how it started with suspense and it drew me in at the beginning. However, there were a lot of grammar and random uppercase letters that I noticed. It was also confusing sometimes because there were random uppercase letters and grammar mistake.Overall, I thought your story was pretty funny.

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I really like how much i could imagine myself there and I loved the sensory details. One thing i wish you did was right more because I still wanted to know more

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hi Aiden I like how you put lots of dealt into this and made it funny but being fr I liked how you put lots of dealt into this I saw bold letters and inner thoughts well not just that I saw all the things we had to do like  STEAL and you use some good words for the character trairt. one thing you could work on is mabye space it out a bit more like make it better or manageable for us to see but other then that you did a good job. for Robert😹

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hi Aiden I like how you put lots of dealt into this and made it funny but being fr I liked how you put lots of dealt into this I saw bold letters and inner thoughts well not just that I saw all the things we had to do like  STEAL and you use some good words for the character trairt. one thing you could work on is mabye space it out a bit more like make it better or manageable for us to see but other then that you did a good job. for Robert😹

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A strength of your memoir “Therapy” is the way the thoughts ran through your head when you heard the scream, and described your every move and how you felt about the situation. I can really relate to your conclusion, to put others first and help them. I've been in situations where I had to put others first and it really made a difference. Great job!

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The emotion was powerful and you really had an extended moment when you flew through your emotions. I didn't know how to feel because your comparisons were very good. In addition your flow was very good. It wasn't a choppy story even if you were unsure about what was going on but it all fell correctly into place. However your moment felt like it had 3 hearts instead of one key heart. Maybe if you slowed it all down at one place instead of playing red light green light with the reader I didn’t know where. The heart started and ended.You shouldv’e left the kid or carried him into a corner.

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The emotion was powerful and you really had an extended moment when you flew through your emotions. I didn't know how to feel because your comparisons were very good. In addition your flow was very good. It wasn't a choppy story even if you were unsure about what was going on but it all fell correctly into place. However your moment felt like it had 3 hearts instead of one key heart. Maybe if you slowed it all down at one place instead of playing red light green light with the reader I didn’t know where. The heart started and ended.You shouldv’e left the kid or carried him into a corner.

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uhh I like how you put alot of dealt into this. And I aslo found this kinda funny.1 wish is mabye tell us what you see

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uhh I like how you put alot of dealt into this. And I aslo found this kinda funny.1 wish is mabye tell us what you see