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Since humans are social animals, we all belong to particular social groups. These groupings differ in terms of social classes, languages, families, communities, and religions, and other factors. As diverse factors give rise to different individuals, each person should take into account the feelings of others when socializing with them in order to keep the harmony of the group and relationships. Therefore, using a polite communication style is crucial. I chose this research topic because it is relevant to everyone's life, and it is very important and vital.

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To explore this research, we need to start by understanding politeness strategies. This video taught me the politeness strategies in a clear and direct way. In addition, from this video I learned how to distinguish between different politeness strategies.

There are four politeness strategies including off-record politeness, negative politeness, positive politeness, bald on record politeness. Among them, off-record is the most polite and implicit strategy, while on-record is the most direct but least polite one. Negative politeness is more polite than positive politeness, and both of them are somewhere between off-record and on-record in terms of politeness and directness.

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After learning about the four politeness strategies, we need to understand another concept.

In this video, we can understand face threatening act which means the possible threat to one's self-public image, and facing saving act which means saying something to lessen the possible threat.

These two concepts are crucial for us to get better understanding of politeness strategies. We can distinguish whether speech is polite or not by these two concepts.

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Then, I have found two related articles to explore deeply.

Article 1 explores four politeness strategies used by lecturers and students in using WhatsApp for virtual communication during thesis consultation. It adopts a mixed research method. The authors collected 50 screenshots of WhatsApp chats between a lecturer and 10 English undergraduate students about essay consultation.

In this study, the authors found that students used more politeness strategies than lecturers. In this case, students will use politeness strategies more actively when interacting with the lecturer to show respect for the lecturer. Compared to other strategies, the students used the most positive politeness. At the same time, the lecturer adopts the on-record politeness strategy to show his social status or power status in the interaction. In other words, different politeness strategy choices are caused by different power and social status factors between teachers and students.

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Article 2 aims to analyze the politeness strategies of UNIVED and UNIVED management group students. The type of this study is descriptive qualitative research.

It is clear from this study that negative politeness is the most common form of politeness strategies employed. This is feasible because the students communicate via WhatsApp groups, and most of them are unaware that the group administrator works as a lecturer at UNIVED Bengkulu and as staff at UPT Bahasa Indonesia.

The objective of this study is to identify the politeness strategies employed by the instructor and students in that group from all UNIVED departments and faculties.

This study employed descriptive qualitative research methods to illustrate students' civility tactics during WhatsApp group interactions.

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After reading the articles about the study, a question came to my mind. How do people with different cultural backgrounds feel about politeness when communicating with each other? Thus, I searched the web for some insights.

From this website, I noticed low context style and high context style, which attract me a lot. According to the blog's author, members of high-context style could regard individuals from low-context style as impolite if they directly share their own thoughts and feelings, believing that they are rude and disrespectful. Conversely, people from low-context style may feel uncomfortable communicating with people from high-context style because they are very polite. Not only does this kind of politeness not contribute to the strengthening of the connection, but it may also have the opposite impact because it is viewed as lacking in honesty and sincerity.

That really an interesting phenomenon I want to know more!!!

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"Business is about persuasion and negotiation. It is also about identifying customers' needs and satisfying them. All these objectives cannot be achieved without building trustworthy relationships with business partners and stakeholders, and there is no way to build this trust without being polite according to these people's cultural expectations."
Dr. Oksana Shkurska

All the cultures are traditionally divided into collectivistic and individualistic. As research shows, people in individualistic cultures prefer a low-context communication style and are more concerned with their own 'face'. It means that they value direct and straightforward communication without being afraid to offend others. This low-context communication style is opposed to a high-context style in collectivistic cultures, where people are concerned with another people's face more than with their own public self-image. As a result, they avoid direct confrontation and value indirectness in communication. In these societies, what is not said is more important than what is actually said, and nonverbal clues play a crucial role in communication, adding meaning to the conversation.
Are politeness strategies in contrasting cultures different?
The answer to this question is certainly yes. You may be surprised to know that a direct way of expressing your thoughts and feelings may be regarded as impoliteness by the representatives of high-context cultures who may think that you are rude and impatient. On the flip side, if you are from a low-context culture, you may feel uncomfortable while interacting with people from high-context cultures due to their extreme level of politeness. This type of politeness may be perceived as lack of honesty and sincerity, and as a result, instead of contributing to strengthening relationships, it may have the opposite effect.
How does understanding of politeness principles across cultures help us succeed in the business world?
Business is about persuasion and negotiation. It is also about identifying customers' needs and satisfying them. All these objectives cannot be achieved without building trustworthy relationships with business partners and stakeholders, and there is no way to build this trust without being polite according to these people's cultural expectations. You cannot get a better deal as a result of negotiations if you are perceived as arrogant, rude, or insincere. It is also impossible to gain new customers if your behaviour makes people think that you either do not care about their feelings (as you are too direct in communication), or they are afraid that you are hiding something because your extreme politeness makes them suspicious. Such misunderstandings due to the differences in perception are not rare, and they may cost companies millions of dollars.
You may wonder how people can reach mutual understanding if their cultural expectations regarding polite communication are different. Here are some tips for effective cross-cultural communication:

1. Embrace cultural differences and recognize that politeness is perceived and expressed differently around the globe.

2. Do research on cultural values in the target country to understand people's expectations regarding each other's behaviour.

3. Be aware of other people's preferred communication style. Do not wrongly assume that they are impolite if they prefer directness in communication or that they are not sincere if their level of politeness is significantly higher than yours.

4. Pay attention to other people's reaction to your communication style and be ready to adjust it according to the other party's cultural expectations.

5. Resist the temptation to make judgmental evaluations and hasty generalizations. Each person is unique though there are certain cultural expectations in each society.

Effective communication across cultures is impossible without taking into consideration differences in politeness strategies that are closely related to high-context versus low-context communication styles. Regular reflection on your own communicative behaviour, your preferred communication style, and other individuals' reaction to your politeness or impoliteness strategies helps to avoid miscommunication as well as promotes mutual understanding and empathy. It certainly contributes to creating trustworthy relationships and allows achieving mutual benefits without significant losses and sacrifices.

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Dr. Oksana Shkurska: Politeness Strategies in Contrasting Cultures

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"Business is about persuasion and negotiation. It is also about identifying customers' needs and satisfying them. All these objectives cannot be achieved without building trustworthy relationships with business partners and stakeholders, and there is no way to build this trust without being polite according to these people's cultural expectations."

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Finally, I try to seek some useful skills for us to be polite in our daily communication.

1. Keep listening and understanding

2. Avoid using negative words

3. Make full use of the magic word: sorry

4. Use small words to soften the statement

5. Avoid using "you" to blame others

The suggestions mentioned above are practical and clearly. It's better for me to learn from them.

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In this blog we are going to teach you 5 ways to be polite and diplomatic in your speaking.

If you're too direct when you speak you can come across as aggressive and this might put people off. This is true in business meetings and negotiations, but also in many other day to day situations. Here are 5 ways you can make your English more polite, indirect and diplomatic. Follow these tips and you should make the right impression when you talk to people.

1. Listen and be understanding

If you show other people that you are listening to them, and that you understand them, they will be more willing to listen to you and accept your opinion. Don't just say "I disagree", show them that you are listening and that you understand them before you explain your opinion.

You can do this by using statements like:
I see what you mean, but... I think we should wait until a better opportunity comes along. Yes, but we might not get another opportunity like this for a while. I think we should ask for a 20% discount because it will show them that we are serious. I see what you mean, but I think 20% might be a bit too much. It might put them off.
2. Avoid negative words - instead use positive words in a negative form

People react to positive sounding words, even if they are used with a negative auxiliary.

Don't say: I think that's a bad idea.

Say: I don't think that's such a good idea.

Let's go for a good cop, bad cop approach in this negotiation!
I don't think that's such a good idea. They might see through it

3. Say the magic word: Sorry

This word can be used in many ways: to interrupt, to apologise, to show you don't understand, to disagree. It diffuses tension and it allows you to start a statement more comfortably.
Sorry, but can I just say something here Sorry, but I don't really agree Sorry, but I think that's out of the question
4. Use little words to soften your statements

Break down negative sentences with some softeners.

Don't say: I don't like it

Say: I don't really like it I'm afraid

Don't say: Can I say something?

Say: Can I just say something here?

Don't say: I didn't catch that

Say: Sorry, I didn't quite catch that

5. Avoid 'finger pointing' statements with the word 'you'

This is aggressive and too direct. Try to avoid saying 'you' and put the focus on 'I' or 'we'.

Don't say: You don't understand me.

Say: Perhaps I'm not making myself clear.

Don't say: You didn't explain this point.

Say: I didn't understand this point.

Don't say: You need to give us a better price.

Say: We're looking for a better price.

So, those are our 5 pieces of advice for being polite and diplomatic. Try to use them when you speaking and you will become a more effective communicator in English.

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5 Tips for Polite and Diplomatic Language

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If you're too direct when you speak you can come across as aggressive and this might put people off. This is true in business meetings and negotiations, but also in many other day to day situations. Here are 5 ways you can make your English more polite, indirect and diplomatic.