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A woman who is known for forcing people to be vulnerable to be the greatest version of themselves.

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Working towards finding mine.

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How Important Is Alone Time for Mental Health? (Kendra, 2023)

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Quiet alone time is needed to recharge

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People tend to be social creatures, and research has shown that social connections are vital for both emotional and physical well-being. However, alone time, which is sometimes called private time or solitary time and simply means spending time by yourself, is also good for you as it plays a positive role in mental health.

Being around other people comes with rewards, but it also creates stress. You might worry about what people think or alter your behavior to avoid rejection and to fit in with the rest of the group. While this may be the cost of being part of a social world, some of these challenges demonstrate why alone time can be so important.

Benefits of Alone Time

Having time for yourself gives you the chance to break free from social pressures and tap into your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Finding time to be alone can also have a number of key benefits. Some of these include:

Improved personal exploration

Increased creativity

More social energy

Improved Personal Exploration

Becoming comfortable in your own company can give you the time and freedom to truly explore your own passions without interference. It can be a way to try new things, research topics that fascinate you, acquire knowledge, and even practice new methods of self-expression.

Giving yourself alone time means you can explore these things without the pressures and judgments that others may impose. Having time to yourself is critical for growth and personal development. Instead of worrying about the needs, interests, and opinions that others may have, alone time lets you focus on yourself.

Increased Creativity

Alone time is an opportunity to let your mind wander and strengthen your creativity. Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward.

Research actually suggests that being alone can lead to changes in the brain that help fuel the creative process. One study found that people who tend to purposely withdraw in order to spend time alone also tend to be highly creative people.

In a 2020 study published in the journal Nature Communications, researchers found that perceived social isolation (a.k.a. loneliness) led to increased activity in the neural circuits related to imagination. When left with a lack of social stimulation, the brain ramps up its creative networks to help fill the void.

More Social Energy

Living alone tends to be seen in a negative light. However, researchers have found that people who live alone may actually have richer social lives and more social energy than people who cohabitate with others.

In his book "Going Solo," sociologist Eric Klineberg notes that one in seven U.S. adults lives alone. Klineberg found that not only were these adults not lonely, many actually had richer social lives.

Reasons Why Alone Time Isn't Always Easy

Alone time can be challenging for some people for a variety of reasons. One study found that many people would prefer to give themselves painful electric shocks rather than sit alone with their own thoughts.

Some of these reasons people might struggle with being alone include:

Lack of experience being alone: Some people just might not be used to being by themselves because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected.

Distressing thoughts and feelings: In other cases, being alone and focusing inward can be difficult or even painful. People might find this introspection distressing or find themselves engaging in rumination and worry.

Social stigma: Stigma about being alone can also play a role in shaping how people feel about solitude. For those who have been exposed to negative attitudes towards being alone or who see it as a form of antisocial behavior or social rejection, solitude can seem like a painful form of punishment.

Marketing professor and researcher Rebecca Ratner of the University of Maryland found that people often avoid doing things they enjoy if they have to do them alone. This is particularly true if it is an activity that can be observed by others, such as going to dinner or a movie solo.

Such findings suggest that a stigma about being alone influences whether people think they enjoy such activities. "When people do things alone, they enjoy themselves more than they expected," Ratner explains. "People overestimate the benefits of being with someone else."

How Personality Affects the Need for Alone Time

It is also important to note that aspects of your personality, as well as your individual preferences, can play a role in determining how much alone time you need and how beneficial it may be. Extroverts tend to feel energized by social experiences, for example, so solitude might be more challenging for them. Introverts, on the other hand, gain energy from being alone.

However, don't think that just because you are an extrovert that you won't enjoy spending time by yourself. In one study, social psychologist Thuy-vy Thi Nguyen found that introverts and extroverts didn't actually differ in the amount of enjoyment they gained from solitude. Contrary to popular belief, introverts didn't enjoy solitude any more than extroverts.

"Our findings suggested that individuals who stay true to their choices and convictions are more likely to take interest and see value in spending time with themselves, despite their propensities for sociality or insecurity around other people," the authors explain.

Aloneness vs. Loneliness

Even before the pandemic, experts warned of a loneliness epidemic that threatened the wellness of people of all ages. Research suggests that people experience more loneliness now than they have in the past. According to one 2018 report, half of Americans feel lonely sometimes, while 25% report feeling lonely almost all the time.

There is an abundance of evidence showing that loneliness can have devastating health consequences. It has been linked to elevated blood pressure, hastened cognitive decline, social anxiety, and an increased risk for Alzheimer's disease.

But it is important to remember that being alone doesn't equal loneliness. Where loneliness is marked by negative feelings associated with isolation, alone time involves finding freedom, inspiration, and rejuvenation in solitude.

More recently, researchers have begun to explore the idea that a certain amount of quality alone time can be just as vital for emotional and physical wellness.

Signs You Need Some Alone Time

It's not always easy to recognize the signs that you might need some time away from other people. Some signs to watch for include:

The good news is that, even if you are struggling with any of these signs, a little alone time can have a significant restorative effect. In one study, people who reported spending approximately 11% of their time alone experienced fewer negative feelings in subsequent demanding social experiences.

Ways to Get Your Alone Time

If you are thinking of spending some time alone, it is important to do so in ways that are beneficial to your mental well-being. Being alone is most beneficial when it is voluntary. It's also important that you feel like you can return to your social world whenever you like.

Pick a time: Figure out when you'd like to spend some time alone. Plan that time into your schedule and make sure that other people know that they shouldn't interrupt you during that time.

Turn off social media: Work on eliminating distractions, particularly ones that invite social comparisons. Your focus should be on your own thoughts and interests and not on what other people are doing.

Plan something: Not everyone is comfortable spending time alone, so you might find it helpful to plan out what you want to do. This might involve some relaxation time, exploring a favorite hobby, or reading a book.

Take a walk: Research has found that being outside can have a beneficial impact on well-being. If you're feeling cooped up and stifled by too much social interaction, spending a little time outdoors by yourself enjoying a change of scenery can have a restorative effect.

Think about things that you might like to do by yourself, then start doing them alone.

How Much Alone Time Is Healthy?

Getting Others to Respect Your Alone Time

Finding time to be alone isn't always easy. Those around you may have different social needs and may not understand your need for solitude. Family obligations and parenting responsibilities can also make it tough to carve out time for yourself.

Some steps that you can't take to ensure that you get the time you need:

Be clear: Tell the people around you, whether they are roommates, family members, or your partner, that you need time alone.

Be specific: Let people know what this means. For example, you might say that you need a certain amount of uninterrupted time to read a book, watch a television show, or listen to a podcast.

Return the favor: If people are willing to take steps to ensure that you get some alone time, it is important for you to show them the same consideration. Offer to take on some responsibilities while they have some space to themselves.

Be flexible: If you are trying to find time for yourself when you don't live alone or you live in close quarters with other people, you'll probably need to be flexible and look for opportunities to carve out time for yourself.

Try waking up early in the morning to enjoy some peaceful time to yourself before others in the house start to wake. If that isn't an option, doing things like going for a walk outdoors or having other family members watch the kids or take over household duties while you take a break can be helpful.

Tips to Overcome a Fear of Alone Time

If the thought of being alone makes you fear that you'll end up feeling lonely, research suggests it may be helpful to reframe time spent alone as solitude. In one study, participants were assigned to either read about the prevalence of loneliness, read a passage about the benefits of solitude, or read about an unrelated topic.

After completing this reading, the participants sat alone for a 10-minute period. In each condition, people experienced decreases in both negative and positive feelings. Such results suggest that while being alone might not always boost your mood, it can help you better regulate your emotions.

The study also found that while people who read about the benefits of solitude didn't necessarily experience a better mood, they didn't have the same reduction of positive feelings that those in the other two groups did.

A Word From Verywell

While being alone sometimes gets mistaken for being lonely, it is clear that having time to yourself now and then is important for mental health and well-being. If the thought of spending time on your own makes you feel bored or uncomfortable, try starting with a small chunk of alone time that allows you to focus on a specific task.

As you get better at enjoying your own company, you may find that this alone time helps you feel renewed and inspired for when you do return to your social circle.

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How Important Is Alone Time for Mental Health?

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While loneliness has serious negative health consequences, alone time can have many important mental health benefits. Learn more about how to find time to be alone.

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They will always be my most valuables.

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Having the ability to verbally express yourself is key to relationships and intelligence.

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You Actually Could Care Less: 15 Tips to Stop Caring What Other People Think (Beyer, 2022).

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Don't let what people think stop you from being you.

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Don't let what people think stop you from being you.

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Being liberated to being me without judgement.

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Everyone wants to be liked. The acceptance and approval of people around us light up our oxytocin receptors, nurturing feelings of safety, bonding, and lower anxiety.

"Humans, by nature, are social beings who crave connection, intimacy, and relationships with others," says Amy Kaplan, a licensed therapist with PlushCare. "Caring about what others think of us is part of that desire to make connections and feel accepted."

But what if you've started putting too much value on the opinions of strangers and acquaintances? If caring what other people think is holding you back, we have some expert tips to help you care less.

In addition to Kaplan, we spoke to Dr. Joanne Frederick, a licensed mental health counselor and author of ; and Dr. Robyn Graham, author of You, Me, and Anxiety.

Here are their top tips for not caring what other people think of you.

1. Identify your values

What are your values? They are the "why" behind everything you do. Maybe you love cooking nutritious foods because you value health. You regularly catch up with your besties because you value friendship. Or, you spend your free time traveling because you value adventure.

List your top 3 to 5 values in life. This list can be a gauge to evaluate your life decisions rather than making choices that you think your social group will approve of.

"When you focus on living according to your values and do not waiver on them, you will feel confident and secure with how you live your life, and the need to please others will dissipate," Graham says.

2. Pick your people

You're likely connected to hundreds or thousands of people through work, school, family, and social media. Not all of their opinions matter equally.

"For most of us, it is unrealistic to never care about what others think," Kaplan says. "It's just a matter of expectations and having the proper balance. Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are and do not make you feel judged."

Decide who you'll turn to for advice and external approval. Don't give every rando a say in your life.

3. Distance yourself from judgy people

While you're building up connections with people who support you and give you positive energy, disconnect from people who don't.

You may have to work with a judgy Judy, but you don't have to put her in charge of your decisions. Set a boundary to keep toxic people out of your personal life and they'll have less opportunity to pass judgment.

4. Clean up your newsfeed

We've all been there. You're scrolling your social media feed out of boredom and reach that one person who always makes you feel a little worse. When you detect that sinking feeling, take it as a sign to unfriend, unfollow, or mute the person.

Really, you're under no obligation to follow the posts of someone who makes you feel bad, for any reason! Try to cultivate a feed of posts that make you laugh, lighten your mood, and make you feel valuable.

5. Take a social media break

For a thorough reset, take a break from social media altogether.

Can you do it for a day? How does that feel? What about a whole week? When (if) you decide to go back, it will be even easier to identify the downers in your feed and put them on mute.

6. Have fun

You only have 24 hours in a day, a finite amount of time that can easily slip away. It stands to reason that the more time you spend doing things that make you happy, the less time you have to worry about what other folks are thinking.

"Take up new hobbies or activities that improve your mental health and add enjoyment to your life," Kaplan says.

You do you, and you won't have extra time to care what others think because you'll be enjoying your life.

7. Be OK with not pleasing everyone

Your second cousin Wanda is always ranting about something, and you can never seem to please her. Even if everyone else loves the gluten-free cupcakes you brought to the cookout, Wanda repeatedly calls them trash and makes you feel like actual garbage.

Consider why you let this single person control how you feel, and how their opinions of you don't let you succeed or feel good about yourself. While it's easier said than done, work on accepting that some people will not celebrate your success. It's not worth your energy constantly trying to make an unhappy person happy.

8. Let it go

Here's a mantra you didn't know you needed: You're as powerful as an ice princess who can build a whole freaking ice castle, bring a snowman to life, and ride a water horse across the fjord. (Yes, you ARE Elsa.)

Sadly, you cannot control what other people think. Once you accept this, you can focus more on things that are in your power to change.

9. Don't compare and despair

It's hard to not do some mental calculations when you see how your friends from high school and college are living it up. Her kids are how old? Two whole weeks in Maui, that must be nice. Oh, he's a doctor!?

Comparing yourself to others is a slippery slope that can leave you feeling ashamed of your own accomplishments. You may feel like you don't "measure up" on a scale that doesn't even exist!

When you catch yourself comparing and despairing, remember you're the only person on your path, there's no comparison.

10. Practice self-acceptance

Frederick advises you ask yourself who you want to be, independent of other people's opinions.

Create a vision of who you are now and who you want to become. Accept that all the versions of you are part of one fluid continuum, and they are all valuable (like an "Interstellar" or "Butterfly Effect" that always has a good outcome).

If anyone else intrudes on your vision of your future self, it should only be because they can support and help you get there.

11. Focus on curiosity and gratitude

"Curiosity will help you understand others and give you the opportunity to build relationships, instead of isolating yourself or others," Graham says. "Gratitude can help us navigate fear."

Try keeping a journal of questions you're curious about and things you're grateful for. A positive outlook can take the focus off fears and worry about others' opinions.

12. Keep a brag book

You just got called out for a mistake at work, and TBH you're feeling like hiding in a mid-day shower and thinking, "What if they figure out I don't belong?!" One negative experience doesn't represent you as a person!

Start today and save every message where someone compliments you or says something kind. And keep track of good things that happen. Before you know it, you'll have pages and pages of self-esteem boosters to counteract bad days and harsh opinions.

13. Forgive yourself

Maybe you made a bad decision or a poor choice. Everyone does at some point. Instead of placing all your value on how other people feel about your mistake, turn inward. Can you forgive yourself for this mistake?

14. Try affirmations

I am worthy. I am loved. I am a magical creature capable of great things. 🦄

Be your own hype person! Think of it as a good kind of brainwashing to rinse away any worries that someone thinks badly of you.

Affirmations can also be channeled to other people. Is your BFF getting down on themselves? Shower them with feel-good words of encouragement. You'll both feel better.

15. Give yourself a reality check

The truth is, no one thinks about you and your life as much as you do.

"Realize that most people are self-absorbed and not focused on you and your life," Frederick says.

To bring the focus back to you and your thoughts, try journaling. Write about your experience, fears, and why you value what you do. Meditation can also help you look inward.

In a sense, your survival depends on what other people think of you. Sound dramatic? Just imagine you lived thousands of years ago with a small group of humans, and you all worked together to get food, escape predators, and care for each other. Being rejected by your social group would likely result in death.

OK, so the number of likes on your latest Instagram post is not a life-or-death situation, but your anxiety about it is driven by the same need for acceptance.

"We live in an age where social media is so prevalent, and 'likes' or 'followers' online can significantly affect many people's sense of self-worth. So much so, that the definition of 'other people' in our lives has vastly expanded and can mean not only close personal relationships, but people who only know us through our social media profiles," Kaplan says.

As a result, we see our social media personas as an extension of ourselves, making us vulnerable to the opinions of people we don't really know.

Graham notes that overdrive to gain others' approval can also come from childhood trauma, neglect, or low self-confidence.

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You Actually Could Care Less: 15 Tips to Stop Caring What Other People Think

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It's natural to care what other people think of you. But sometimes it can leave us caring too much, especially about what people online think of us. Mental health experts share their tips to stop caring what others think.