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We are committed to supporting children and parents.

What differentiates BENS Groups from other services is our ability to truly connect with, not just the child, but their families, and provide the exceptional, compassionate, and holistic service they deserve. We know that no two children are the same, nor should our approach be, what works for one does not work for all.

At BENS Groups we offer 121 wellbeing coaching and peer support sessions for young people and their parents. We facilitate communication and mediate with young people and parents to improve family relationships and we also liaise with schools, social care and other agencies.

​

Our service is individualised and bespoke with a solution-focused approach.

We support children and families through art and crafts; cooking and science; games and teach them techniques to alleviate anxiety, worry and stress. We help build self-esteem, confidence and communication skills. We help young people to grow, sustain and transform their lives and embrace a brighter future.

​We support young people who:

struggle to communicate

have social anxiety

worry so much that it affects their day-to-day life

Autism/Asperger's

sensory processing disorder

ADHD, ODD, SPD

anger issues

low confidence and self-esteem

mental health issues

struggle to manage or recognise emotions

​

We will help you:

develop a growth mindset and become resilient

gain strategies that will relieve anxiety

build confidence and healthy self-esteem

grow a positive future

understand your emotions and needs

communicate effectively

become solution-focused

develop a have-a-go attitude and learn that mistakes are part of learning

reduce anxiety

develop social skills needed for your future

learn mindfulness techniques

enjoy creative activities (there is no right or wrong)

​

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Peer support | BENS Youth and Community Groups CIC | Worcestershire

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BENS Youth & Community Groups CIC are for young people struggling with social anxiety, communication issues and low confidence and self esteem.

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Information and advice for families with children and young people with SEN and/or disabilities.

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SEN Support in Mainstream Settings- The Graduated Response

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About SENDIASS SENDIASS stands for Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service. It’s a free, impartial, and confidential service offering information to young people with special educational…

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Learn how to touch type with the BBC Dance Mat Typing game. It’s a fun introduction to touch typing game for kids and covers levels 1, 2, 3, 4.

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SEND support groups for parents and carers - directory

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SEND support groups for parents and carers - directory

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Place2Be is a children and young people's mental health charity with almost 30 years' experience working with pupils, families and staff in UK schools.

We provide mental health support in schools through one-to-one and group counselling using tried and tested methods backed by research. In addition, we also offer expert training and professional qualifications.

Why it's important

1 in 5

children and young people have a probable mental health condition, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood.

50%

of those with lifetime mental health problems first experience symptoms by the age of 14.

1 in 10
boys aged 5-19 with a mental health condition are suspended in some form from school.

Find out more about our work

How we help

Mental health support in schools

Our in-school mental health service supports the wellbeing of pupils, families and staff.
Find out more

Our mental health services in schools

We provide mental health services in schools that contribute to a whole-school approach to mental health.
Find out more

Counselling training and placements

Gain experience and skills with our child counselling training and placements.
Find out more

Place2Be is part of our school family. It is more than an office, more than a therapy room and more than a collection of counsellors.

Glyn Ellis - Headteacher, Haslingden Primary School

My daughter had become a different person - one we didn't recognise - but since counselling we see signs of our old loving daughter coming back.

Parent

If you have problems or worries you get a chance to talk to a person you trust. When I grow up I want to help children like Place2Be helps children.

Eight-year-old girl

Your support makes it possible

Thousands of vulnerable children and families depend on our work every single day. We simply cannot reach them without your help. There are so many ways to lend your support.

Place2Be's counselling service in primary schools has the potential to return £8 to society by improving long-term outcomes for each child.

Make a donation

How you can help

Fundraise for us

Raise money to transform children and young people's mental health. Browse ideas, tips and advice.

Get fundraising inspiration

Take part in an event

Run, cycle, walk. Trek to great heights or tackle some muddy obstacles. Take a look at our fundraising events.

Take on an event

Partner with us

See how your organisation can help us to support more children, families and school staff across the UK.

Find out more

Our impact

In the last school year

6,901

pupils were supported through one-to-one counselling.

33,327

pupils booked their own appointments to speak to our mental health professional.

After one-to-one counselling with Place2Be

76%

of children with severe difficulties show an improvement in mental health, according to parents.

64%

of pupils whose difficulties impacted their learning in class improved, according to teachers.

75%

of children and young people found it easier to make and keep friends, according to parents and carers.

Place2Be: improving children's mental health

Hear directly from children and young people, parents, Head Teachers, and staff about how Place2Be helps.

News & blogs

Staying cool and connected with my teens

Programme Leader for Family Work, Judah Racham, reflects on the challenges parents face when connecting with their teenagers.

Read more

Carleen's journey: training the next generation of child counsellors

We sat down with Carleen to learn about her counselling journey and what it's been like training and working with Place2Be.

Read more

New bursary scheme to remove financial barriers for prospective child counsellors

The bursaries will enable more people to train as counsellors, helping to grow the children's mental health workforce.

Read more

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Improving children's and young peoples mental health - Place2Be

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Place2Be provides mental health counselling support and training to schools to improve the emotional wellbeing of children, young people, families, teachers and staff.

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Mental Health Statistics UK | Young People

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How common are mental health problems among young people in the UK? These statistics show the scale of the mental health crisis among young people today.

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Worcestershire Speech and Language Therapy

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Share your videos with friends, family, and the world

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Herefordshire and Worcestershire Health and Care NHS Trust

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Our Paediatric Occupational Therapy Service provides assessment and intervention for children and young people with significant difficulties participating in and completing daily occupations at home, in an education placement, and in the community.

Our Service may offer an assessment of self-care and daily living occupations (see below for examples), where our Universal Advice offer has been followed, but there has been no improvement.
Occupation Examples: Priorities of the Service

To support with enabling the child or young person to be safe in accessing self-care and activity of daily living occupations. This may include assessment and provision of specialist equipment and/or referrals for adaptations to the home environment.

To support with the delivery of a Care Plan for the child or young person with significant needs impacting on their self-care and activity of daily living occupations.

To work in partnership with the child or young person, their parents/carers and educational setting to meet the child or young person's individual goals.

To work in collaboration with other professionals from health, social care, and education.

Who can refer to the service?

Referrals are accepted from:

Health Care Professionals (GP, Paediatrician, Speech and Language Therapist, Physiotherapist etc)

Social Care Teams (Social Worker, Family Support Worker)

SENCO'S (School or Nursery) or Teacher at Special School

Physical Disabilities Outreach Team

Local Authority Learning Support Team

Referrers should complete the referral form in full that is available on Carenotes under the referrals tab or can be downloaded directly from this page - Download our referral form

Please note ALL referrals should be sent electronically to the OT generic email address: WHCNHS.PaediatricOT@NHS.net

(If using the referral tab on Carenotes, please email the generic email address to alert the service to this referral).

Who can be referred?

Child or young person from birth up until their 18 birthday or up to their 19 birthday if attending special school (for school needs only):

With consent from the person with parental responsibility or child or young person themselves if considered to have Gillick competence.

Those registered with a Worcestershire GP.

Who have a 'Looked After' arrangement with Worcestershire Local Authority and continue to reside in Worcestershire with a Worcestershire GP OR who have a 'Looked after' arrangement with another Local Authority and are placed in Worcestershire with an individual funding agreement.

Any child or young person placed in a Worcestershire school with a GP out of county will be considered on an individual basis with liaison with their local NHS service.

For requests about home equipment or adaptations, this is determined by the County Council of the property where the child or young person resides.

We require examples of significant* difficulties that are impacting on independence, and/or participation in self-care and activities of daily living at home, in education and in the community.

It is important to evidence what support, strategies and advice has been tried and/or is already in place to support the child or young person, and the outcome and impact this has had e.g., Universal information from the website, contact with OT Advice Line.
Referrals we may consider

Child or young person who requires timely assessment and intervention around safety, equipment and moving and handling to prevent incident and injury.

Child or young person with regressive or degenerative conditions who are newly diagnosed or where there has been a significant change in their presentation impacting on self-care and activities of daily living.

Child or young person who are palliative and end of life who have lost skills and require timely assessment and intervention to prevent incident and injury.

We are unable to accept referrals for:

Reported difficulties that are in line with typical or expected development.

Please note we do not provide Sensory Integration Therapy.

Requests for specific equipment. For example, car seats, restrictive beds.

Anxiety, emotional or behavioural difficulties. Please refer to other appropriate services such as Family Front Door, Early Help, CAMHS. Please see the local offer website: Social, emotional and mental health | Worcestershire County Council and the Child and young person and Adolescent Mental Health Website: Mental health help to children, young people and their families | School Mental Health (hacw.nhs.uk)

Support with home safety which are related to the home physical environment. We require evidence of strategies that have been tried but have not been successful resulting in risk to safety, incident, and injury before considering a referral.

Support with re-housing or additional bedrooms/ bathroom facilities. Any professional that knows the child and young person or family well can support with these requests.

Requests for Developmental Co-ordination Disorder (DCD) assessment where there is no evidence of significant* motor co-ordination difficulties that are impacting on self-care and activity of daily living occupations across home, in education and the community. Please see the following link for information about DCD diagnostic criteria: Developmental co-ordination disorder (dyspraxia) in children - Diagnosis - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Wheelchair or a specialist buggy as referrals can be made by any Healthcare Professional that knows the child or young person. Please see the following link for the Wheelchair service information: Our Services | Herefordshire and Worcestershire Health and Care NHS Trust (hacw.nhs.uk)

Risk of education placement breakdown or not currently attending education placement.

Child or young person who is not able to complete self-care and/or activities of daily living occupations.

Early life experiences which have had a significant impact on the above.

Safeguarding concerns where OT is significantly involved.

What happens next?

Referrals received will be triaged according to the clinical prioritisation for the child or young person.

Parents/carers and the referrer will be informed of the outcome of the referral following triage.

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Herefordshire and Worcestershire Health and Care NHS Trust

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Parenting workshops and groups

The Starting Well Partnership offers an exciting array of parenting groups and workshops. All sessions are free to attend and run by trained staff and volunteers from the Starting Well Partnership.

If you would like to know more about any of our groups, workshops or wish to register your interest please complete the online referral form.

Use the buttons below to find out more about each group.

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A list of parenting groups and workshops provided by the Starting Well Partnership organisations, including courses to help you understand your child, develo...

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autism online training - national autistic society

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Autism Online Training - National Autistic Society

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Skip Essential Modules (click on the module you wish to purchase or access after purchase below) Skip Troubleshooting If you are experiencing technical or sign in difficulties please contact Learning Pool; Phone: 0845 074 4114 Email: support@learningpool.com Monday to Friday - 8am to 8pm Saturday and Sunday - 9am to

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Find out everything you need to know about your child's GCSE exams 2024 including dates, timetables and changes to exams to get their GCSE revision in shape.

Starting primary school

Advice and games to help your child thrive in primary school.

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Top tips, expert advice and fun activities to help you support your child's wellbeing and learning in a changing world. Parents, we've got you.

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Topmarks: teaching resources, interactive resources, worksheets, homework, exam and revision help

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Searchable site of thousands of quality teaching resources, interactive resources, homework, exam and revision help. Useful for teachers, pupils and parents.

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Free educational games aimed at children between 5 and 8 years old. Made by a UK teacher with 20 years of experience in education.

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Learn with Bitesize’s primary resources. Explore English and maths games and get homework help. Discover activities for all KS1 and KS2 topics.

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Thousands of free video lessons, resources and activities, covering most subjects, from Reception to Year 11

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Picture the scene: your child comes out of school and the teacher says they've behaved like the perfect child all day, but the moment you get home they have a complete meltdown. Your child screams, shouts, lashes out, sulks or generally acts in an unruly manner.
If that scene is familiar to you, you're not alone. This type of behaviour is what some psychologists refer to as 'after-school restraint collapse' and it's not unusual. It happens because your child has been busy managing their emotions all day as they navigate the complexities of school life.

When they get home, that's their safe space to let it all out!

So, now you know what it is, what can you actually do about it? Parents' Toolkit has been speaking to educational and child psychologist Dr Anisa-Ree Moses, for some tips on how to handle these outburst of emotions after-school.

1. Understand how hard school can be for some children

Dr Anisa-Ree Moses says that children can feel emotional, physical and mental exhaustion at the end of the school day. They have been trying to manage a mix of things like learning, social expectations, their own growing social awareness and all the feedback they're getting from teachers and peers.

"When they come out of that environment a pressure valve is released. If kids feel safe to express themselves, they will do so!"

The transition from school to home can also be challenging for some children: "Some kids may have difficulty separating from their parents. It's a relief when they see them, because their parent or carer represents a level of safety, but they're frustrated at the same time - the child wants them but is finding connection difficult at that moment. It's a positive reunion but it's also really emotional and can be hard for some children to channel."

Dr Moses adds that it can be particularly difficult for neurodiverse children who are coping with sensory sensitivities and the effort of containing a lot of emotions. When they come out of school they often can't hold it all in any longer.

For older children, she also says the transition home can be tricky too. They need space and time after school - they might not want to talk to you about it or will go to their room for a bit first.

Dr Moses suggests having a think about what your child needs when they come out of school.
"Do they need to go and run around the school playground a few times and let go for a bit before they walk home? Do they need movement or do they need a healthy snack? Or quiet time alone with no music or no chatting on the way home in the car or bus?"
It will be different for different kids, but Dr Moses suggests trying to be quiet on the walk or ride home.
"Connect with your child. Not by asking 'how was your day?' but through genuine emotional connection. You could say 'I'm so happy to see you, I'm glad we get to go home together, it made me happy coming out of school this way'. Being calm and using supportive words is important for your children."

She adds: "Include some downtime rather than moving straight on to homework or out to a club, so that your child can decompress. They might enjoy their clubs but still feel anxious, so build in downtime first and make their routine clear, visual and written down if they need that. You can also ask them what will help, for example drawing, reading a book or even just relaxing for a bit. Do it with them and help them to see they can do things to support themselves."

"Be understanding of their emotions - help them feel listened to if they want to talk about what's gone on, or be angry."
"You could say 'I can see you're shouting. I can see you want to be really loud, maybe let's go to the park on the way home'. Validate how they feel rather than try and control it. If they are impolite in the moment, come back to that later - talking at that moment won't help."

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."
Dr Moses says the after-school 'meltdown' is an expression of emotion that often comes out physically. As parents you can recognise and label it so your child can see if for what it is.
"For example, 'I can see you are kicking the bin, I can see you're clenched and red, I can hear you're shouting and that's making me think you're angry, so I want to help you. However, here's not the safest place to do that, let's go to the park, etc.'"

"Build their emotional vocabulary and link it to the emotion - then they can tell you what they're feeling. You can say things like 'I want to help you. I can't do that when you're screaming. Let's take a deep breath, both of us.' Acknowledging it helps children to not feel alone."
With older children, Dr Moses says it's often more about them not wanting to talk or engage in any discussion about school.
"Especially for those who see school and home as two completely separate things. Just encourage them to build their emotional vocabulary, and be interested in what's happening in general in their life."

She adds: "Questions like 'how was your day?' will get a grunt or 'it's fine'. Think about what you are trying to find out. Can you remember an assignment they had or what they were going to be talking about with their friends? And connect by saying 'I'm happy to see you and hope you've had a good day' until they feel ready to come and have a conversation. Then offer yourself as being there, offer yourself as someone who wants to help and is interested in what's going on.

"Help them feel listened to and respected and make a genuine connection."

Dr Moses says your child might also be upset when they come out of school if there were any difficulties that day that weren't addressed, or there's something unresolved that's happened.

If your child's behaviour after school changes or is different to what's usual for them, try and find out if there are things happening during the school day that are affecting them.

"Think about whether you need a home-school communication book, so that you know whether what's been happening in school could trigger what happens at home. Information from school can help parents know how to approach a situation and whether there's something that needs resolving."

Connection is a great way for your child to know they're loved and that you're there for them, no matter what.
It could be snuggling up in bed, reading a book together, playing a quick game, or just having a chat.

Dr Moses suggests thinking about what your morning routine is like: "Is there anything you can build in there that can help them feel connected to you? I know this can be hard, I know how frustrating and annoying school runs can be! Let them know you're looking forward to seeing them later, just for who they are, not for what they've achieved."

She adds: "If your child is finding separation difficult, can you give them a note or something of yours to have in school? For some children, knowing that Mum or Dad is a phone call away and it won't be withheld from them helps them more.

"Also think about whether you have conversations about emotion at home. It's about helping your children with emotional literacy, building resilience and problem-solving skills, as well as building in transitioning - learning how to make things more predictable so that transitions are not as big and scary. Children are better able to manage their emotions if they know what's going to happen."

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Five tips on how to handle the after-school 'meltdown' or 'restraint collapse'

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'After-school restraint collapse' isn't unusual. Your child has been busy managing their emotions all day and when they get home, it's time to let it all out! Here are some expert tips on how to cope as a parent.

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Disability Living Allowance ( DLA) for children may help with the extra costs of looking after a child who:

is under 16

has difficulties walking or needs much more looking after than a child of the same age who does not have a disability

They will need to meet all the eligibility requirements.

The is between £26.90 and £172.50 a week and depends on the level of help the child needs.

If your child lives in Scotland

You need to apply for Child Disability Payment instead of DLA for children.

If your child is getting DLA for children but they have moved to Scotland, you'll need to report this change so they can get Child Disability Payment instead.

If your child moves from Scotland to England or Wales

If your child gets Child Disability Payment, you must:

Your Child Disability Payment will stop 13 weeks after your child moves - apply for DLA as soon as possible after moving or your payments could be affected.

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Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for children

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Help for children under 16 with disabilities - DLA rate, eligibility, how to apply, claim form.

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Bereavement support | Worcestershire County Council

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Support and advice if you lose a loved one or close friend.

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Winston's Wish is the UK's childhood bereavement charity. We support children and their families after the death of someone important.

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With your help, we can keep offering free support to those who need us.

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Online support for parents facing issues such as ADHD, Autism, OCD, emotional management and challenging behaviour in their children.

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Herefordshire and Worcestershire Integrated Care System

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Support available in Worcestershire while waiting for your appointment :: Herefordshire and Worcestershire Integrated Care System

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Support is available to children and young people, as well as their families, who find themselves experiencing long waits for appointments with Health services in Worcestershire.

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Unless they have been to a funeral or have been aware of the death of someone they know, most children will not have much knowledge of what happens at a funeral. What they do know may come from overheard conversations or depictions in films, TV dramas and the media, which may lead children to have specific ideas of a funeral which may not tally with what they might experience in person.

A good starting point is to talk about what a funeral is and why we have them. What you say will of course be influenced by your culture, beliefs, or religion, if you have one. In all cases, a clear, age-appropriate explanation that takes into account the child's understanding can help a child understand a funeral, make informed choices about attending or participating, and know what to expect if they are attending.

Should my child go to a funeral?

As long as a child is prepared for what is going to happen and what they will see, attending the funeral can be a helpful experience to help them understand the finality of death, as well as being an opportunity to grieve and say goodbye.

Children we have supported at Child Bereavement UK have told us that they appreciated the opportunity to be included in the funeral and that attending is something they did not regret. However, some children who were not given the option told us they deeply resented not being included, despite the decision not to take them being made with the best of intentions.

A very young child, toddler, or even a baby can usually go to a funeral with the rest of the family. Although they may not understand what is happening at the time, when they are older they are likely to appreciate that they were included. It can be helpful to take a favourite, quiet toy or book to occupy them and to ask someone close to your child to be on hand in case your child gets restless or needs to be distracted for a while.

If you decide you don't want your young child to go to the funeral, you might perhaps choose to include them in the gathering afterwards, or to have another, private way to include them in remembering the person who has died .

Involving a child in planning the funeral, even in small ways, can help them feel part of the event, even if they do not attend, and it can help them to express their feelings. They could make a drawing or card which could be placed on the coffin, or they might have a favourite poem or a song they might like to have included in a service. If your child is attending the funeral, it might be helpful, where possible, to visit the location of the funeral in advance as this can help your child to feel prepared for the event. As long as a child is prepared for what is going to happen and what they will see, attending the funeral can be a helpful experience.

Older children can be given the choice to attend and preparing them is important, allowing them to make an informed decision.

When your child is making the decision to attend a funeral, you might say:

You can have a think about if you would like to be there. You do not have to decide right now and if you change your mind that is OK. You can ask any questions you want. I will try to answer or if I don't know, we can ask the Funeral Director, the person who is helping us.

If your child chooses not to attend, there are other things you can do to help them say goodbye and to remember the person who has died. For ideas, watch our short film, Remembering someone special who has died .

How can I explain why we have funerals to my child?

Before explaining why we have funerals to your child, it can be helpful to gauge their understanding of death and dying . This is important, as a child who has not quite grasped the concept of what being 'dead' means may be distressed by the thought of burying or cremating the body of someone special to them.

If they don't fully understand what death means, it can help to give a simple explanation. Try to use language that is appropriate to their age and understanding, avoiding euphemisms like 'passed away', 'lost' or 'gone' which can be confusing for young children. It might seem harsh to an adult, but we strongly recommend using clear, simple words such as 'dead' and 'died'. You might say:

'When somebody dies their body stops working. A dead body does not breathe because their lungs are no longer working and the heart has stopped. A dead body cannot move, it will be still and make no sound. A dead body cannot feel anything so there will be no pain.'

What you say about funerals will be influenced by your culture, beliefs, or religion, if you have one. However a good start might be to say:

'When someone dies, we say goodbye to them by having a funeral. A funeral is where family and friends get together to think about and remember the person who has died.'

Depending on where the funeral takes place:

'It will take place at a church, mosque or temple, in a garden or wood, or at a place called a crematorium.'

This may be as much information as the child needs for now, allowing them to ask questions if they need to or later when they have processed what you have said.

How can I explain what happens at a funeral to a child?

The following words are suggestions for what you might say, depending on your child's age and understanding. You can tailor the words according to what you know will happen at the funeral you will be attending. You may also find it helpful to watch our short animated films which explain what happens at a burial and what happens at a cremation .

'When someone dies, we have a special ceremony called a funeral. Because Granny has died, we are going to have one just for her. At the funeral Granny will be in a special box called a coffin. The coffin will have white flowers on it which were Granny's favourite.'

'You don't need to worry about Granny being in the coffin because when someone dies, their body stops working and they can't feel anything anymore.'

'At the funeral, people will talk about Granny, they might play her favourite music and talk about her life and all the kind and funny things she did.'

How can I explain a burial?

If someone is being buried, you might say:

'After the funeral service, you can go to a cemetery or graveyard where Granny's coffin will be put in a deep hole in the ground called a grave.'

'The coffin will be gently lowered into the grave. Someone might say some special words or a prayer.'

'Afterwards the coffin will be covered with earth so that it is under the ground and eventually grass will grow over it. You don't need to worry about Granny in the coffin because when someone dies, their body stops working and they can't feel anything anymore.

Later on, we will have a headstone put on the grave. This will have Granny's name on it so that everyone will know where her body is buried. We can visit the grave sometimes to think about and remember Granny.'

You might like to watch our special animated film with your child: Explaining funerals to children: What happens at a burial?

How can I explain cremation?

What you say about cremation will be influenced by the age and understanding of your child. Some young children may be frightened by the use of the words 'burnt' or 'burning' as they may associate fire with pain, fear or danger. You might say:

'After everyone has gone, Granny's coffin will be put in a place in the crematorium that will turn her body into ashes. You don't need to worry about Granny because when someone dies, their body stops working and they can't feel anything anymore.

Later on, Granny's ashes will be put into a pot called an urn. If we would like to, we can bring the urn home or we can scatter her ashes in the gardens of the crematorium or somewhere else Granny liked very much. Later on, if you want to, you can visit the place where Granny's ashes are scattered and sit nearby and think about her.'

You might like to watch our special animated film with your child: Explaining funerals to children: What happens at a cremation?

How can I involve my child in planning a funeral?

If someone special to them has died, try to involve the child as much as possible. This helps them to feel included and creates opportunities for them to share their thoughts and feelings and any worries they might have. You can ask your child if they would like to make a drawing, write a note or make a card which could be placed on the coffin. Ask them if they have a favourite poem or a song that might be included in the service. If possible, before the funeral, you might want to take your child to the location where the funeral will be taking place to help them to feel more secure and to know what to expect.

Should I let my child view the body of their special person?

Viewing the body of someone who has died may feel like a very grown-up thing for a child to do and many adults will understandably have reservations. People have different views or may assume that a child will find it too upsetting.

Provided they are given a choice and are well prepared, many bereaved children tell us that seeing the body is something that they do not regret doing. Children usually view a body to say goodbye, or to gain reassurance that the person is at peace. Those who were well supported tell us that it helped to put their minds at rest and that, however difficult, it was not as bad as imagined or as having unanswered questions. For many, it helps them start to understand the reality of what being dead means.

It is important that a child is supported to understand that viewing the body of the person who has died is their choice, but that it is not something that they are expected or under pressure to do, or that it is something that will 'please' adults around them.

Even when a child has made the choice to view a body, they may feel unsure. Adults can help by reassuring them that they can change their minds at any point and that this is OK. For more detailed guidance, read our resource on supporting your child to view the body of someone who has died.

Visiting the burial place or cemetery

Some children find it comforting to visit the grave or place where ashes are scattered. Others view graveyards and cemeteries as frightening or unwelcoming places. Reassure your child that films and television programmes that show graveyards as scary places, are not like the real thing.

Others can find visiting the grave or cemetery bewildering, especially if they are confused about what being dead means. For ways to explain death, you may find it helpful to look at our resource on explaining to a child that someone has died and our short animations about what happens at a burial and what happens at a cremation .

Ask your child if they would like to visit the graveside or cemetery, making it clear that it is their choice and not something that adults expect them to do. Give them the opportunity to leave some flowers or a memento but let them know that visiting the grave is just one way of saying goodbye and remembering. You may also find it helpful to look at our short animated film, Remembering someone special who has died for other ways to remember.

If you do decide to visit the grave with your child, you can make it part of your normal family life by perhaps making the visit part of a walk or other activity.

Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services.

You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40, email [email protected] , or use Live Chat on our website.

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A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Find out more about the experiences of bereaved families we have supported and professionals we have supported and trained. Read more

Most people who are bereaved experience grief, which involves feeling lots of different emotions in response to the death of the person. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people parents

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How do I explain a funeral to a young child?

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Unless they have been to a funeral or have been aware of the death of someone they know, most children will not have much knowledge of what happens at a funeral.

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Bereavement is something we will all go through but there is limited understanding about how and if this might affect autistic people differently. You might see significant changes in your child's behaviour and they may behave differently to how you would expect.

How might a bereavement affect my child?

When someone or something important to them dies, autistic people may show typical grief responses, such as:

anger

increased restlessness

changes to their sleeping and eating patterns

an increased dependence on others

a loss of previously displayed skills and confidence.

They may also show other feelings or responses, such as:

a failure to grieve or delayed grief

aggressive and destructive behaviours

excitement.

Autistic people may find it difficult to express their own feelings around bereavement.

Your child may struggle to understand the concept of death and loss and how they are supposed to behave when someone dies.

Most personal accounts suggest that autistic people react to death and experience the grieving process differently to non-autistic people.

Autistic people have said that they may:

have difficulty being able to connect with their emotions

may not cry or show emotions

show a delayed or extreme emotional response

experience an increase in autistic characteristics such as sensory sensitivities, meltdowns and shutdowns

find it harder to organise, plan and concentrate on tasks. These skills are also known as executive functioning

find it more difficult to understand and manage their own feelings, also known as emotional regulation

have difficulty understanding what to do in social situations such as hospital visits and funerals.

How can I help my child through a bereavement?

Your child's grief will need to be recognised and understood. They will need time and space to express their feelings in a way that works for them.

There is a limited amount of research, information or guidance on how to help autistic children deal with death and bereavement, but it might be helpful to think about:

including your child in rituals around bereavement and explaining them, for example vigils and wakes

supporting your child to understand, express, and cope with their grief

talking therapies - your child may find these helpful in dealing with their grief or other emotions, but make sure they are adapted or suitable for autistic people.

Talk to your child and prepare them

You're likely to be going through a difficult time yourself but if you can put in place some of these supportive techniques, you can make the situation easier for your child.

Talk about the situation rather than avoiding it.

Prepare your child should someone they know be terminally ill.

Use simple, direct and unambiguous language, avoiding euphemisms that might be taken literally, ie don't tell your child that someone has gone to a better place, or gone to sleep rather than telling them they have died.

Tailor the information to the needs of your child and their level of understanding.

Recognise that everyone expresses grief differently - your child will need support to express their grief in a way that is right for them.

Explain to your child that they may see family members crying or acting unusually.

Provide as much information as possible about what to expect when attending hospitals, funerals and wakes, including visiting places in advance if this is possible or looking at pictures.

Autistic people have said that they felt they needed more support with the grieving process.

There are many types of counselling and therapy including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which has been shown to be effective for some autistic people. All talking therapies should be adapted to be effective for autistic people. If you would like to access therapy for your child, you can do this through your GP or privately.

Your next steps
Useful links and online resources

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Bereavement - a guide for parents and carers

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Bereavement is something we will all go through but there is limited understanding about how and if this might affect autistic people differently. You might see significant changes in your child's behaviour and they may behave differently to how you would expect.

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We work with professionals to improve the mental health and wellbeing of children and young people. Learn about our training, services, research and more.

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Sensory movement breaks tips for success at school and home

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Sensory movement breaks are a helpful way to help children to be ready learn. OT Kim Griffin explores how to use them successfully.

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A therapeutic digital intervention (game) for childhood anxiety:

For 7-12 year olds (facing difficulties with anxiety)

Therapeutic basis: Psychoeducation and Exposure therapy

Embedded outcome measures

Built in safeguarding & accessibility features

Provides data to Authorised Professionals securely through the VitaMind Hub

Available on Android and iOS

Co-created with young people, guardians, teachers, clinicians, academics, game experts

Points of use:
Lumi Nova does not require constant clinical supervision.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE

Lumi Nova: Tales of Courage is a digital therapeutic that helps with the symptoms of worries or anxiety for children aged 7-12 years with mild to moderate needs, helping them learn skills to self-manage their worries/anxiety in an engaging intergalactic adventure game (app).

This app facilitates CBT (including psychoeducation and exposure therapy) recommended as a treatment intervention by NICE Anxiety disorders Quality standard and the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists clinical practice guidelines for the treatment of anxiety disorders.
Lumi Nova is not intended to be used by:

1. Young people who do not have parental or carer supervision

2. Young people who are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts or are at risk of self harm

3. Young people that have severe anxiety or are in crisis

4. Young people with severe mental health symptoms or diagnoses, who are not supported by a healthcare professional.

READ FULL INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE

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A therapeutic digital intervention (game) for childhood anxiety: For 7-12 year olds (facing difficulties with anxiety) Therapeutic basis: Psychoeducation and Exposure therapy Embedded outcome measures Built in safeguarding & accessibility features Provides data to Authorised Professionals securely through the VitaMind Hub Available on Android and iOS Co-created with young people, guardians, teachers, clinicians, academics, game experts Lumi Nova does not require constant clinical supervision.

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Online Autism, ADHD & Mental Health Services | Healios

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Specialist online autism, ADHD and mental health services delivered in partnership with the NHS across the UK.

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Young Person Voice Tools - Barriers to Education

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Barriers to Education practical tools: co-produced with young people to explore needs, build trust and apply WARMTH. Includes card sorts, mapping, audits and creative approaches.

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Hi welcome to SeN Zone. We are a not for profit Community Interest Company providing fun activities for families who have children with Special Educational Needs & Disabilities (SeND). We organise monthly sessions, trips out in the local community, create seasonal events such as a man made pumpkin patch & Santa’s grotto and holiday activities. Some of the activities we have gotten up to are farm visits, forest schools, animal encounters, horse riding, local businesses providing children provisions like sensory play truff tray activities, outside playground facilities and so much more! Check out our photo gallery to see more of what we get up to and take a look at our Facebook page too, as we share and signpost all other SeND groups, charities, children’s provisions ect. We have lots of exciting plans and dreams for our group and would love for you to come along and enjoy it with us!Company/ charity number: 16324053

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Melo :: Onside, Worcestershire & Herefordshire

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Individual Support Melo Practitioners will provide a broad range of interventions designed to develop coping skills and techniques for individuals as well as family support. They will be a constant presence and point of contact for children, young people and families through their time within the service.