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Remedial Mock 4

Add useful language.

Add a rethorical question.

Correct the content, register and language mistakes.

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Is It a Good Idea for Students to Have a Part Time Job?

Nowadays, many students have a part-time job while they are still studying. Some people think it is a great idea, while others believe it can be too difficult to manage. Personally, I think it can be very useful if students are organised and responsible.

Firstly, a part time job gives students the opportunity to learn new skills. For example, they can improve their communication, teamwork, and time management. These skills will definitely help them in the future, both in their studies and in their careers.

However, working can sometimes affect school performance. If students spend too many hours at work, they might feel tired or distracted in class. That’s why it’s important to find the right balance between work and study.

Another advantage is that earning money helps students become more independent and understand the value of hard work. It also gives them confidence and a sense of responsibility.

In conclusion, I believe having a part-time job is a good idea as long as school remains the top priority. After all, isn’t it great to prepare for the future while still being a student?

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Nowadays, many students decide to have a part-time job while studying. I personally believe that, this can be a very positive experience if it is well managed.

Firstly, having a part-time job gives students the opportunity to learn new skills that are not usually taught at school. For example, they can develop communication, teamwork and time management skills, which are extremely useful for their future careers.

However, working can also have a negative impact on studies. If students spend too many hours at work, they might feel tired and have less time to do homework or study for exams. Therefore, it is important to find a balance between work and school responsibilities.

Finally, earning their own money can make students more independent and responsible. It helps them understand the value of money and how to manage it properly.

In conclusion, having a part-time job can be a great idea for students as long as they organize their time wisely and do not let work affect their education.

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Tizi Granella: Should students have a part-time job

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Tizi Granella: Should students have a part-time job

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These days, many students choose to have a part-time job while studying. I think it can be a good idea if they know how to organize their time.

First, having a job helps students learn new skills that school doesn’t usually teach, like being responsible, working with others, and managing their time. These skills are very useful for their future life and career. It is like a spoiler of adult life.

On the other hand, having a job can sometimes affect school performance. If students work too many hours, they might feel tired and have less time to study or do homework. It’s important to find a balance between work and school.

Finally, earning their own money makes students feel more independent. They can buy things they like or save for the future.

In conclusion, part-time jobs are a great experience if students don’t let them interfere with their studies.

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jobs and students

These days, many students have a part-time job while they are still studying. I think it can be a good idea, but only if they can manage school and work at the same time.

First of all, having a job helps students

learn new skills. For example, they can learn how to talk to people, be on time, and work in a team. These things are really useful for the future and can make them more responsible and confident.

On the other hand, working can make studying harder. Some students get tired after work and don’t have much time to do homework or study for tests. That’s why it’s important not to work too many hours.

Also, having a job helps students earn their own money. It feels good to buy things with money you worked for, and it teaches you how to save and spend wisely.

In conclusion, having a part-time job is a good idea if students can balance it with school. It can teach them many things, but school should always come first. Don’t you think it’s worth trying?

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JOB FOR STUDENTS

Have you ever thought about how a part-time job could change a student’s life? Many teenagers want to work while they study, but is it really a good idea? There are some good and bad sides to it.

First, having a job can help students learn new skills. They can learn how to talk to people, work in a team, and be on time. These things are very useful for the future and can make them feel more responsible and independent.

On the other hand, a part-time job can affect their studies. Sometimes students get home too tired after work and don’t have enough time or energy to do their homework. This can make their grades go down if they don’t organize their time well.

Also, working a lot can be bad for their health. They might sleep less, skip exercise, or eat fast food because they are busy. This can make them feel stressed or sick.

In conclusion, having a part-time job can be a good idea if students don’t forget that school and health are more important than money.

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In this essay the main theme will be the benefits of students having Part-Time Jobs, also the things that come with sending  kids to work and also consequences about this.

One of The benefits that Comes With Having a Part time job is the many skills the students, May learn by working for example talking with people, and other skills that are necessary now a days

On the other hand, part-time jobs are not for anyone because of the impact on students' grades. if they may have to  work, they may have less time to study and fall behind in their studies, not only in exams, but also in home work

Another reason why students get a part-time job is because of financial independence, so they have their own money and can spend it on anything they want.

In conclusion, it is very important for a student to have a part-time job because of the many skills. One Can Learn, by Working Somewhere, and also de financial Independence they get.

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Actually, a lot of teenagers are in a part time job, or maybe they are saving money to help their parents with the bills. Moreover, they are all doing this because of an important couple of reasons.

Firstly, a lot of businesses including teenagers as workers. Students are building their own skills to show to others. This is going to help them in the future.

Maybe some parents dont think this is a good idea because it can have a bad impact on the grades of their children. However, I dont think this is a serious problem because parents are so worried about improving their skills and learning more about adult life.

In addition to this, if you know the way to organize with the school, it could only give you benefits.

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OUR FUTURE

The world is all about money. It is something that if you don't have , it is probably that you wouldn't have a good life . Who doesn't think that money isn't important to our lives ?

Teenagers ask their parents for money and think it's easy to get. That's why many people say teenagers should have a part-time job.

It's not just about earning money; young people can also make friends and gain work experience. Obviously, it depends on the type of part-time work, as working in a coffee shop provides different skills than working as a babysitter. The impact on students is that they will have greater freedom and, in the future, a better understanding of what they truly want to do.

Finally, teenagers prefer to work in the summer because there are more opportunities to find a job, and if school is a problem, they can solve it during the holidays.

In conclution part-time jobs help teenagers to prepare they for their future and it is important to look for something you really want to make , to stay motivated .

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The future importance of

This is an important part of the last year in school, so do you think that this topic could be helpful for teenagers?

It is considered that it could be very helpful for them in the future. It may help them develop important skills such as learning, studying, and making decisions for their future. It will also prepare them for their jobs.

There are both advantages and disadvantages. For example, it could affect their normal studies if they spend too much time on this topic. This may influence their thoughts and performance in other subjects.

However, there are also many positive points. Teenagers can start to earn money at a younger age, which will give them experience and independence. Moreover, it may allow them to build a better future and learn how to be more responsible adults.

In my point of view, this topic should help many teens to improve their ideas and prepare for the future. It might encourage them to think about their possibilities, make plans, and decide what they want to achieve in life. To sum up, this experience can help teenagers to grow, learn, and understand how the choices they make today will be good for their future tomorrow.

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Part-time Jobs and their impact

It is often said that part time jobs have a huge impact on young people’s lives, but, has it been confirmed?

Most of the time, parents agree that once their child is 16 years old, they should get a part time job, making them able to learn how to be independent, to improve their mental skills and moreover, so they don't have to rely on their parents for daily activities.

Having a part time job is an unique and fundamental opportunity, even more at a young age, however, it is often said that people have to take into account study time because of how fundamental both elements are. Students should implement a healthy and tidy routine with both activities in order to develop healthy habits and to improve their productivity.

Being completely independent at a young age is the best option, making this phase an easier step to reach. This way, young people are able to earn their own money and spend it in a responsible way.

To sum up, being responsible and self-sufficient at a young age teaches life skills and prepares you to adulthood.

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Part-time Jobs for Students: A Good Idea?

Nowadays, the debate about whether

students should have a part-time job is very common. I personally think that having a job alongside studies is, overall, a very positive experience for young people.

One major benefit is the opportunity to learn new skills. Working helps teenagers develop independence, time management, and communication abilities which are valuable beyond the classroom. They learn to manage their own money and duties, fostering a greater sense of maturity.

However, a key concern is the impact on studies. It is true that juggling work and school is challenging. If a student is not well-organized, the lack of time and energy can negatively affect their academic performance. Therefore, a student must ensure they maintain a strong balance and prioritize their academic commitments.

To sum up, working part-time means students become more responsible. They learn about professional environments, the value of effort, and personal accountability. While there are difficulties, the life skills and responsibility gained make having a part-time job a worthwhile endeavor for most mature students.

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Teenagers with their own money?

It is popular knowledge that teenagers are not meant to pay any taxes. Therefore, if teens earn money it all would be for their own, they're not obligated to work though. However, who wouldn’t like to earn some money all for their desires?

It is known that while working experience becomes a valuable ability such as social skills, which are also improved while working. In addition to this, a sense of independence starts growing. Hence, being able to take part in small part-time jobs is an amazing opportunity to take advantage of not having a legal obligation to work yet. Consequently, teenagers learn, earn some money and keep it for their own, what else could one want?

Nevertheless, what about studies? Despite the fact it is believed that students can't have an appropriate academic development and a part-time job at the same time, whether they are able to organise their timetables will define or not their success.

Nowadays, a huge number of active adults are not trained in terms of financial knowledge. As a result, they might end with a mess of taxes and debts nipping at their heels. Although, there’re lots of ways to fix this. For instance, once a teen earns some money, ask them for 30% of their economic profit to pay taxes or school fees, in order for them to learn about financial management.

Furthermore, once that student has grown up as an adult, whether they want to start their own business, they’ll already have a great variety of skills. Wouldn't a student like to have a successful

bussiness?

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How does part-time jobs affect students?

For this question, society is divided into two, those who no longer go to school and those who are still studying. Those who don't go to school anymore say that part-time jobs help students because it teaches them how to save money or become more independent. But those who are still in school say that having a job after school causes their grades to drop or have to change their entire routine.But is it possible to work and have good grades at the same time?

It's true that part-time jobs help students. Because they learn news skills that school doesn't teach them. Such as how you earn your own money without asking your parents and how to save it and not spend it on things you know you're never going to use. But one of the important teachers who has a job while going to school is how your parents earn the money that you spend as if it doesn't end.

Despite its benefits, this idea also has its downside. One of the most important negative aspects is the impact that a part-time job has is that students don't have as much time to study, so they lower their grades or they don't have time for themselves because they can't carry so many things at such a young age.

In conclusion, part-time jobs allow students to be more independent. But also the part-time jobs takes away their youth or the friendships that only adolescence gives you. But this is possible if the student has a good routine or good organization of his life.

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Everyone needs a job at one point in their life's, especially when they get to collage. But are part-time jobs a good thing or do they affect a students educational capacities?

Part-time jobs are good for many reasons, one of them being that students gain experience from it, consequently making it easier to get jobs in the future. But they not only make money, but they also teach students skills for the future, for example how to cook or how to concentrate.

But at the end of the day, these jobs take time out of a students day, leading them to have less time to study or learn, which could affect their grades greatly.

Lastly, jobs are also a neutral ground where students and can relax for a while doing repetitive tasks or things they like.

In conclusion, part-time jobs are neither good or bad. But depending on how much time a week you spend in it and how much you like it it can greatly impact your life.

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Guada’s feedback: For me maybe she could improve the use of lenguaje and added more vocabulary but for the rest it is perfect

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I have corrected Juli's essay and I didn't found any mistake at all. It is written in a brilliant way

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It's fine for me. I can't find anything to correct, because the information is well organized and very complete. Apart from that, the question is fine.

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Lastly, having a part-time job is getting more and more popular between young students. This might sound as a good idea but, does this really help students?

There are many advantages about this, firstly the fact that they can learn new skills easily while studying, which can prepare you better for the future jobs. Some of this skills are communication or independence both crucial in actual society.

However there are also too many difficulties, mainly, the impact on studies. Because of the hours in school, and in their job they might be late on some topics, this can make a huge impact in their marks. Also anxiety is other problem, because they can get stressed because of the amount of things they have to do.

Although, is a fact that it would be easier for them to get a job in the future as they have the previous experience. And as students have already tried some job they would better know what they want for the future, if a job which implies talking with people or not.

In conclusion, part-time jobs gives independence and it teaches comunication skills but, for not organices students this can be a problem. I personally agree with this, but, as it was mentioned before students must be organices and responsable.

Alejo

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Trini feedback: I think the text is very good, it makes a lot of sense and I think that she use the skills we learned very well

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In today's economy, independently of financial situation, teenagers can benefit widely from working a part-time job. They can get to learn a whole set of useful skills, develop work ethics and more but... Is the industry ethical?

Being able to make money of their own as a teenager sounds great and, in the big scheme of things, it it. Besides being able to buy whatever they want whenever they want, I'm sure they'll eventually notice some immense changes in their mindset. They'll learn how to manage work hours and become more responsible with money, two invaluable skills.

One problem every working teenager must face is learning how to balance both school and work hours. Some people may be able to sort this out by themselves, but it's not for everyone. Personally, I'd recommend always putting school first, as teenagers, they will sure have plenty of years to work in the future.

It is not uncommon for employers to take advantage of their young employees. They might not pay them well or have them work INSANE hours, so it's important for them to always know they're civil working rights.

To conclude, having a part-time job as a teenager can be a highly profitable experience, but they must always take it easy and prioritizing themselves first, you are young once!

Titi

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Learn about life

in schools, teachers are preparing students for the future. But, Are they teaching all the skills that they are going to use? If students could learn more about life.

If students could have a part-time job, they could learn a lot of new skills, and be prepared for the future. Like finances, organization of their money. Many people finish school and get a job, but they don’t know how to use it. This wouldn’t be a problem anymore.

They could learn how organize their time, having a job and studying at the same time. Maybe in university they would be stressed but with this preparation the stress could be lower.

Like everything this has advantages and disadvantages. Students could be more prepared for their future, and know important skills. But in other hand, students probably couldn’t enjoy their childhood at all, they could be small adults.

I conclution, for me it could be great for students, this skills could improve their future experiences.

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There are a few small grammar mistakes (“was” → “were”, “make” → “makes”).

Some punctuation and articles are missing (for example, a period after “important things for the future”).

But is it good and I would give it a 9.

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These days, many students work while they study. Some people think it is a great idea because it helps them grow and become independent, while others believe it can be too stressful and affect their grades. But is it really possible to study and work at the same time without any problems?

First of all, having a part-time job helps students develop useful life skills. They learn how to communicate with people, work as part of a team, and be responsible for arriving on time. It also teaches them discipline and helps them understand the value of hard work. Besides, it gives them real-world experience that can be very helpful for their future careers.

However, there are also some disadvantages. Working too many hours can make students feel exhausted and have less time for schoolwork. This situation can lead to stress and even lower grades. Therefore, students must learn how to find a balance between studying and working so that one thing does not affect the other.

On the other hand, having a job can be very rewarding. It allows students to earn their own money and feel more independent and confident. They also learn how to manage their time effectively and set priorities, which are essential skills for adult life. Working while studying can make them feel proud of themselves and more prepared for the future.

In conclusion, I believe that having a part-time job while studying is a good idea, as long as students do not let it interfere with their education. After all, isn’t it better to start learning responsibility and independence early in life? A job can teach valuable lessons about time management, effort, and confidence. If students find the right balance, they can truly benefit from both studying and working.

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Part time jobs

A lot of people had a part time job. This helps students to make money when they are young and at the same time study.

A part time job is the best way to learn new skills, like the vocabulary or how to treat the clients. For life and when they have a full time job they know how to do it well.

In part this is good because they make money so young but in other part not because you don't have time to study for an exam or do a project so it is not so good to have a part time job for your studies.

For this to work part time jobs should be on weekends because they have time to study and work at the same time and make some money.

In conclusion, part time jobs are a good option but to the people that are organized because if you are not organized this can be a problem.

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in the actual time, many students decide to have a part time job while studying. In my opinion, this can be a very positive experience if it is well organized.

Firstly, having a job helps students learn new skills that will be useful in the future. For example, they can improve their communication, teamwork, and time management abilities. These are important for any career.

However, working part time might have a negative impact on studies. Students could feel tired or have less time to do homework and prepare for exams. Therefore, it is important to find a balance between school and work.

Finally, having a job gives students a sense of independence. They can earn their own money and learn how to manage it responsibly. This makes them more mature and ready for adult life.

In conclusion, part time jobs can be a great opportunity for students as long as they manage their time well and do not let work affect their education.

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I liked your essay and the theoretical question is good. The only thing that would change him is that in one part he says "I think." I mean, the only thing I would correct would be that. But everything else is fine.

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Should Students Have Part-Time Jobs?

In my point of view, some people of a young age have the possibility to do part-time jobs on their daily routines… who doesn’t want to have the job of their dreams?

For me, some teenagers, part-time jobs can improve new skills such as what clients like to bring or consume and how to do formal mail for their job. As a result, all this new skills

On the other hand, part-time jobs can have a massive impact on the students. Firstly, this can have a negative impact on the students for the reason that the job can affect their time to study and school grades.

Finally, the new experiences on their jobs can expand the vision of working on some places for the rest of their lives

I personally believe that part-time jobs can have a positive and negative impact on the students for the reason that it could be helpful for learning or in future or it could make you fall behind with your studies.

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I really liked the thretorical questions and it is written in an organized way. I enjoyed reading it.

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Your essay is really good! It’s clear, well organized, and your grammar is excellent. You explained all the points very well — learning new skills, the impact on studies, and your own opinion.

fran

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Santiago’s Feedback

The issue is very clear, the structure is good, relevant arguments and consider both positions well.

Suggestion for improvement

Avoid the repetition of words, improvement of connectors, the use of capital letters and better develop the conclusion.

Jose M’ Feedback

Very good language, structure, connectors, arguments and conclusion

Suggestions for improvement

The beginning of the introduction and punctuation.

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I liked the text since it is understood very well she has also used many of the new skills that we have learned. I didn’t found any mistakes.

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Actually very good apart for 2 words. But still, it was very well made. I don't have much to correct.

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Santiago’s feedback: He can improve in rehstorical questions and in some vocabulary but it is clear and he uses very well the lenguage

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For me it is well organised, he has some grammar mistakes and some puntuation and articles but appart from that it is very good and i really liked it.

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To much use of the subject "you".

Appropriate vocabulary but not too much useful langauage.

Not retorical questions used.

The second pharagraph is not undestandable.

Despite that, Sole used some relevant expretions and vocabulary like the one I used at the beggining of this sentence.

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the essay is very good but it needs use full language and the rhetorical question the conclusion is very good but it needs an general an reflective idea but apart from that is very good

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I think your essay is very good, and I share your opinions about teenage jobs. Also, I liked the question; it made me think and the organize it is really good too .

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Well organized, good language and great writing in general. There was only 1 mistake which was an “And” in the 3rd paragraph, but that was just a mistake committed because of writing fast

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it does have a rethorical question but the introduction it’s not well redacted and some parts you can not understand what it’s talking about

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I corrected the essay of Emma.I did found one mistake at the

Structure. that it could have little more use of english. But the rest is written in a good way

Joaquin Aguilar

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I liked the text since it is understood very wellhe use some of the new skills that we learn. He has some mistakes but its okay

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I love a lot the essay only and i didint find any mistaque