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While men who take risks in leadership roles are often viewed as courageous, women are often viewed quite differently. A common assumption about women in leadership roles is that they are seen as leaders who move too quickly or lack the foresight and understanding to make effective changes. These assumptions often lead to women in leadership roles assuming that they will be held to greater and unrealistic expectations within their leadership roles. I see this in my school dynamic; my current principal is a highly skilled female fit for the position. She became the principal at my school following three male principals.  I have observed a considerable difference in the leadership styles of my female principal versus the three previous male principals.  While all four are willing to take risks, when those risks do not play out accordingly, my current female principal internalizes a heavy burden in which she has unrealistic expectations for herself, student behavior, and her workload. These great expectations and bar setting did not occur with my three past male principals. These assumptions about the leadership of women and the internalization that it can cause make it even more important for the networking and collective support of female leaders.

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To intertwine the collectivist belief system with true intersectionality to ensure that all perspectives are considered and included in decision-making to serve marginalized students and their families. By intertwining these two belief systems, I do believe that future leaders will be able to use this as leverage to provide equity access to marginalized groups within a micro and macro context.

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Although I have been at the receiving end of my admin's blunt words about our school's struggles, I never really considered how difficult it could have been for them to communicate it as it is for me to hear it. Giving bad news upfront, and figuring out the words to use to give that bad news, is crucial in a profession where we are faced with constant successes and failures in different aspects of our work assessed through the microanalysis of each part of our lessons and meetings, figuring out what worked, what didn't work, how to improve, etc. On the one hand, the words and critiques generally and initially rub me the wrong way (my thought process is, quite often, there's probably a better way of saying that!). On the other hand, when I assume that my admin are not simply "admin," but also embody being a parent, a spouse, someone's child, someone's friend, someone with their own escape from the profession, etc. etc., I am better able to look over the offense for a moment and listen for the spirit of their words (what do they mean?), as well as be able to ask them questions like "Why do you ...?" or "Can we try ...?" or "What do you do when....?" just to better understand their heart and mind, and get on the same page without saying "let's get on the same page." I'm fortunate that they're receptive and responsive to my questions!

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When I read the article, "7 Tips for Difficult Conversations" by Dowling from Harvard Business School, my initial reaction was that this article provided very broad and rigid advice for dealing with difficult conversations. Engaging with difficult conversations, is something that brings me great anxiety as a future school leader for a few reasons. Reason #1, I really don't have a lot of experience with having difficult conversations at a leadership level with other adults. Reason #2, as someone who is a very visual learner and one who learns by experience, it is difficult for me to read about how to conduct these conversations and not visually see a model. In leadership, learning from others, especially female leaders, is vital. The nature of difficult conversations, especially those that are personal are often confidential so it is difficult to observe how those are conducted. Therefore, my assumption at the beginning of the reading was that the suggestions provided were valuable, in theory, but not very helpful as it is difficult to visualize it in practice. However, I do believe that the 7 tips provided, while broad, are important to think about when navigating my own coaching conversations and inquiry team meetings. However, I still wish that this article provided more examples/applicable scenarios so I can have a better mental visualization. As a result, this is a topic that I need to do more research on and one that I believe we should discuss more of during our CLASS sessions. The book mentioned in the article is called "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" and is free on Audible for those with a subscription-- I am definitely going to download!

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Before reading chapters 4 & 5 of Leading While Female, a common phrase that I frequently use in my classroom is "your words have power" to combat the inappropriate, sexist, homophobic and stereotypical language that is often used in my classroom each day by my 10th grade students. We did a few lessons on language and how words can both uplift and unintentionally harm others. To my surprise, the phrase "words have power" is highlighted as "the impact of words ushered [women leaders] into greater levels of leadership" in chapter 4 (73). After reading these chapters this week, I am envisioning how I can redesign my previous lessons on oppressive language to highlight and uplift not just the students in my classroom, but also, across our entire school community. This could be an impactful school-wide initiative to create long-lasting change in our school community, as well as, support our more vulnerable student populations. If we want to encourage the growth of strong leaders, especially female leaders, we must as a community perpetuate a culture that cultivates their development. This is something I aspire to do as I continue to grow as a leader at my school.

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When I first got to the section about family support in Leading While Female, I immediately felt myself put my back up.  Even though we automatically talk about the pressure for women to be great mothers and great leaders, there is is a glaring gap in the conversation of those who choose not to/don't yet have children? What about women who don’t have partners to “support them”? The book explains in the previous chapter about how as leaders, we must hold to the understanding that there is diversity within groups, yet there is not discussion of the women in leadership without the partner to support them. As women, particularly unmarried women, looking to move up into leadership, there is often a choice that has to be made. Continue the career path you’re on and watch your “good egg baring years” dissipate, or decide that the family, and the kids are worth it and take a back seat on the ladder to foster that side of your identity. And particularly in education, moving up takes money, extra degrees and extra tests, and therefore the quick fix of “freezing your eggs” that many suggest is not monetarily feasible. So, while yes, a woman with a strong partner support system is the optimal condition for moving into leadership, where is the change to support those of us who may be doing it alone?

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After reading about the guiding principals in Leading While Female, I hope to create a space for those behind me to grow in their own identity as women. The authors discuss the importance of women of color being given the space to share their knowledge and wisdom. That is particularly salient when thinking about creating equitable spaces for children of color. One of my favorite country songs urges those who are in a place of success to "help the next one in line". I aspire to be a mentor for the next one in line, sharing my failures and successes along the way, so that they too can be a bada** lady boss one day :)

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As thoughtful and insightful as the readings and discussions around female leadership have been, I don't think I have many aspirations related to that. In this case, I never really considered for the better part of my seven-year-career nearly all of my colleagues and superiors were women, nor its implications for how that has shaped my outlook and what it means moving forward. (In fact, while writing this part of the assignment I thought woah I haven't had a male leader in my career since I started!, save for my previous male principal that I never really got to know or interact with). I just considered them as authority figures whom I should respect and learn from as some source of knowledge or wisdom, since they did the work required to get to their positions in the first place. At first, I just simply want to do my job well and get better at it, while encouraging those around me to keep the same stride. If there is one difficult experience I have so far, it's understanding the readings and texts about female leadership in a position (my POV) where nearly everyone in my field is a female. I think without understanding the practical aspect of what this means for me, I may miss out on some important implications of my work. I aspire to be challenged and to challenge! In a way, I apologize for not providing a deeper rationale into my train of thought!

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Since engaging in difficult conversations can be challenging, leaders can increase their effectiveness by utilizing the strategies outlined in “7 Tips for Difficult Conversations.” I think handling difficult conversations is one of the areas I am most worried about when taking on a leadership role.There are many assumptions about woman as leaders. I have overheard my colleagues make assumptions, biases, stereotypes about some of our female leaders not handling conflict well, not being able to balance work/life, and also not having the same respect as our male leaders. These are common assumptions when it comes to gender and leadership. I grew up in a family where difficult conversations were often avoided. I have learned a lot from that and know that I would have appreciated having those conversations much more than avoiding them. I try my best to make sure and face issues and problems head on and have these conversations with my own children because I want them to always know that they can come to me with anything and I will always listen and be there to support and guide them. So, having difficult conversations is not something I have had to deal with often so preparing for them in a leadership role is something that I know I have to work on. I appreciate this reading and all the inquiry work that we are doing with our inquiry teams and our school based teams as I feel like I am making strides to better equip myself to handle these situations that might be difficult in leadership. I do believe that with my own personal experience and everything we are learning and experiencing in class that I will have the tools and knowledge to be able to effectively engage in these conversations as a leader.

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Becca 7 Tips for Difficult Conversations - Assumptions

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Becca 7 Tips for Difficult Conversations - Assumptions

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While reading the article "7 Tips for Difficult Conversations" I was thinking about how challenging difficult conversations are for me both in my personal and professional life. As an aspiring leader I know that this will be something that has to be done more often than I may like in my professional career. Being on the receiving end of a few different types of difficult conversations, I was not always reflective of how that conversation may have felt for the other person. Previous principals leading difficult conversations within a school community have shown caution when approaching specific topics. Last semester, when I faced a tricky situation in my school community I remember speaking with Michelle and she offered to role play how the difficult conversation could play out based on different approaches or scenarios. As an aspiring leader, this way of modeling seems like it would be extremely helpful from veteran leaders to future leaders in order to help them prepare for a role or position. Engaging in difficult conversations is not something I think I will ever feel comfortable with and will always bring on a sense of anxiousness but hopefully looking into more resources such as this one and leaning on role models will be a helpful tool in the future.

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As I delved into the topic of female leaders, I found myself questioning the core issues they face and whether the term “female leader” inadvertently contributes to gender stereotypes in leadership. With such a diverse range of females in leadership roles, it seems essential to examine why we don’t define “male leaders” in the same way. Recognizing that not all challenges faced by female leaders are due to their gender IS crucial, as leaders of all backgrounds encounter various difficulties in decision-making and action-taking. While the specific challenges faced by female leaders may vary depending on their context, one significant hurdle seems to be the assumption that any problems they encounter are solely because they are female.

For example, one common assumption is that female leaders struggle with assertiveness and decisiveness, traits often associated with traditional male stereotypes. People may also assume that females in leadership roles face difficulties balancing work and personal life due to societal expectations of women as primary caregivers. Another prevalent assumption is that female leaders have to work harder to prove their competence compared to their male counterparts. These assumptions contribute to gender bias and make it harder for female leaders to navigate their roles effectively.

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Aspiring to be a leader as a female from a minority background, I’ve noticed the unique challenges that females often face in the workplace. Sometimes, these hurdles are not because of their leadership skills, but rather due to the fact that they are female. I believe that by understanding and addressing these issues, we can create a more inclusive environment where everyone is valued based on their abilities and contributions.

My aspiration for change comes from the various female leaders I’ve encountered through my journey. Even though they have diverse backgrounds and experiences, their determination to overcome barriers and create a more equitable workplace has inspired me. By learning from their resilience, I’m motivated to make a difference in my own leadership style. One thing I’m passionate about is raising the awareness of the specific challenges females might encounter, like being seen as less competent, assertive or courageous compared to men. Acknowledging is always the most important step. It’s also important to implement a fair evaluation system, ensuring that performance is measured based on merit rather than gender. Another important thing I want to promote is open dialogue with the community. This is particularly important for females who might be hesitant to voice their opinions in fear of being judged or overlooked due to gender biases.

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Since embracing guiding principles such as empathy, inclusivity, and an understanding of intersectionality is crucial for leaders, I aspire to create an environment that honors and understands diversity and creates an equitable and empowering educational environment for all. I work very hard now to establish relationships with my students and to create a safe, nurturing environment where all of my students feel included, respected, safe, and able to take risks and share their thoughts freely and openly. I aspire to create this same type of relationship and environment in leadership by following the guiding principles laid out in chapter 4 of Leading While Female.

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Before reading 7 tips for difficult conversations, I thought preparation would remove the anxiety for a difficult conversation, but the anxiety might still remain and its ok as long as we are prepared.

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After reading Leading while female, chapter 5, I would assume that since teachers are mostly women you might think they would also hold leadership positions. Though not necessarily true.

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After reading, leading while female I aspire to create a work environment in which the "Guiding principles of Cultural Proficiency foster the development of a set of core values focused on equity and inclusion". There are schools or departments that are toxic, and I feel its leadership responsibility to be inclusive to all people and not to allow for a toxic environment.

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As I reflect on the chapters in Leading While Female, I am able to find the parallels that I encounter day in and day out; whether my colleagues know it or not. One particularl assumption is the belief that women are less assertive or decisive than their male counterparts. This stereotype manifests in subtle ways, such as being interrupted frequently in meetings (compared to male teachers or administrators) or having their ideas dismissed, often in a passive and patronizing manner. As a result, women leaders often find themselves in a gray area, a tightrope, attempting to assert their position/beliefs while avoiding being labeled as overly aggressive or bossy. Although our field is heavily female dominated, this becomes quite apparent in meetings with male administrators, and the few male counterparts. Even women themselves often play into this; whether thats habitual or intentional, however, is difficult to know.

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In Chapter 5 of Leading While Female, the writers highlight an assumption that is made way too often. We sometimes assume that because a woman is in charge, a building may be embracing the idea of equality of voice, but as the authors point out, the voices of female leaders, specially those of color are often sought out to check a box or "cosign decisions that are already made." This sometimes leads to the dismissal of these leaders who didn't even get a chance to lead in their own way, and were essentially booted for the having to comply with the dominant culture. We must be aware to not make these assumptions and to really check in with the overall culture of the district.

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As I transition into administration, I aspire to implement policies and initiatives that address biases head-on. This could include, but not be limited to, advocating for diversity training programs, establishing mentorship opportunities for women in leadership, and promoting a culture of respect and inclusivity within your organization. This is easier said than done, because although the field is mainly made up of women, administration in my district is heavily dominated by men. I wouldn't necessarily anticipate push-back, but wonder how much weight would be given to the importance of these initiatives; compared to other ones.

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I aspire to keep a humanistic approach to tough conversations if I am ever in a leadership position. I think the most useful tip in having tough conversation was paraphrasing. I am learning through coaching that repeating what has been said in a tone for clarification is a powerful tool. It also has helped me pause and think and gather my thoughts instead of being reactive.

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I aspire to be more aware of the intersectionality of the people around me, whether it be at work or in life. Of the many layers that may be playing a part in what is moving them or not. I think that I am a person that is very accepting and empathetic, but don’t often put as much intentional thought into the many ways in which intersectionality may manifest in people's behavior and the way they are treated. As a person, I want to make sure that I am more intentional about my thought process around intersectionality. Leading While Female (Chapter 3)

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As an aspiring female leader I want to be intentional with my interactions with fellow leaders of all genders. Looking for different groups or communities that bring leaders together in a way that provides a sense of community and reflection will allow for a deeper growth in both my professional and personal life. My mom was a woman in STEM her entire life and climbed her way to the top to become a leader in many different aspects. She was the leader of a team and a mentor to many young people who wanted to pursue a career in the field. Although we are in different fields, I want to use her experiences as a guide or reference as I navigate my way through the world of leadership. It is important to me to create a strong sense of community that helps members feel connected, safe, and supported and one that values people from all backgrounds and experiences. Additionally, I want to lean into difficult conversations that will help me or my team reflect on our actions.

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While I have struggled for awhile on our country's stance regarding gender equity, affirmative action, DEI culture, reading Leading While Female chapters 4 and 5 gave me a whole different perspective. I go back and forth about what DEI became after 2020. It felt like "lets lower the standard for folks". I felt offended. What I realize now is that DEI and affirmative action is not about lowering standards but expanding the opportunities.

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Leading While Female Chapter 5 Tania Spencer

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Leading While Female Chapter 5 Tania Spencer

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One thing I connected with in today's reading was how feminism challenges the status quo systems of oppression. Because we live in a patriarchal society men have always been privileged in the workforce. In fact, it is my opinion that the reason teachers do not get paid enough is because the teaching profession is majorly made up of women. This has kept women in a class system of oppression, disparity and inequity for years. For this reason overcoming these barriers often requires unity and having women as mentors can which can be powerful for dismantling these systems of oppressions . Feminism and supporting one another can be highly impactful in identifying oppressive conditions towards women while challenging the status quo.

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7 Tips for Difficult Conversations Tania Spencer

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7 Tips for Difficult Conversations Tania Spencer

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One thing I connected with in this reading was using paraphrasing to create clarity and let people know I am genuinely listening. Rephrasing and paraphrasing has helped me a lot during my coaching conversations. I find that this technique has helped the teacher I am coaching open up to me and has allowed me to facilitate our conversations more effectively. Additionally it has guided my leadership style in the way that I approach my conversations as a collaborator instead of micromanager.