# data[].attributes.headline
She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.

# data[].attributes.subject
She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.

# data[].attributes.headline
I'm relaxing on the beach, and all of a sudden, all these women start gathering around me. They got these big signs; they're going, 'Fur is murder! Fur is murder!' I said, 'Lady, that's my back. Now get off it.'

# data[].attributes.subject
I'm relaxing on the beach, and all of a sudden, all these women start gathering around me. They got these big signs; they're going, 'Fur is murder! Fur is murder!' I said, 'Lady, that's my back. Now get off it.'

# data[].attributes.headline
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

# data[].attributes.subject
I’ve always thought my neighbors were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

# data[].attributes.headline
A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

# data[].attributes.subject
A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

# data[].attributes.headline
why should you never fart in a apple store 

# data[].attributes.subject
why should you never fart in a apple store 

# data[].attributes.body
because they dont have windows

# data[].attributes.body
How many gorillas can fit into a car?
Eight.
How many chickens can fit into the car?
None, the car is already full of gorillas.

# data[].attributes.headline
Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?A. They can’t stand fast food.

# data[].attributes.subject
Q. Why do the French like to eat snails so much?A. They can’t stand fast food.

# data[].attributes.body
Nacho cheese!

# data[].attributes.headline
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

# data[].attributes.subject
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

# data[].attributes.headline
what is the stupidest animal in the jungle 

# data[].attributes.subject
what is the stupidest animal in the jungle 

# data[].attributes.body
the polar bear

# data[].attributes.headline
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?

# data[].attributes.subject
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?

# data[].attributes.body
Great big holes all over Australia

# data[].attributes.headline
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?

# data[].attributes.subject
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?

# data[].attributes.body
There was no chemistry.

# data[].attributes.headline
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

# data[].attributes.subject
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

# data[].attributes.body
Swimming trunks

# data[].attributes.body
you put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner

# data[].attributes.body
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

# data[].attributes.headline
how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree

# data[].attributes.subject
how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree

# data[].attributes.body
wave at her

# data[].attributes.body
Q: How did the blonde die raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.

# data[].attributes.body
A jalapeno business pepper

# data[].attributes.body
I'm huge, I'm hurting people, and I'm misunderstood! Just like the IRS

# data[].attributes.body
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?

A: She can't find the eleven.

# data[].attributes.body
A hotdog

# data[].attributes.headline
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

# data[].attributes.subject
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

# data[].attributes.body
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

# data[].attributes.headline
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtain

# data[].attributes.subject
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtain