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A wonderful web resource that offers tons of learning plans on bullying, etc.

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Teaching Tolerance provides free resources to educators-teachers, administrators, counselors and other practitioners-who work with children from kindergarten through high school. Educators use our materials to supplement the curriculum, to inform their practices, and to create civil and inclusive school communities where children are respected, valued and welcome participants.

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Interactive Modules

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Like a driving simulator for young people learning to drive a car for the first time, Social Media TestDrive provides a simulated experience of realistic digital dilemmas and scenarios, along with key concepts and strategies for navigating them.

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Welcome to the Social Media TestDrive official website!

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Be an Upstander - Prevent Bullying: A NED Short

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When cyberbullying happens, it is important to document and report the behavior so it can be addressed.

Steps to Take Immediately

Don't respond to and don't forward cyberbullying messages.

Keep evidence of cyberbullying. Record the dates, times, and descriptions of instances when cyberbullying has occurred. Save and print screenshots, emails, and text messages. Use this evidence to report cyberbullying to web and cell phone service providers and social media sites.

Block the person who is cyberbullying.

Report Cyberbullying to Online Service Providers

Cyberbullying often violates the terms of service established by social media sites and internet service providers.

Review their terms and conditions or rights and responsibilities sections. These describe content that is or is not appropriate.

Visit social media safety centers to learn how to block users and change settings to control who can contact you.

Report cyberbullying to the social media site so they can take action against users abusing the terms of service.

Report Cyberbullying to Law Enforcement

When cyberbullying involves these activities it is considered a crime and should be reported to law enforcement:

Threats of violence

Child pornography or sending sexually explicit messages or photos

Taking a photo or video of someone in a place where he or she would expect privacy

Stalking and hate crimes

Some states consider other forms of cyberbullying criminal. Consult your state's laws and law enforcement for additional guidance.

Report Cyberbullying to Schools

Cyberbullying can create a disruptive environment at school and is often related to in-person bullying. The school can use the information to help inform prevention and response strategies.

In many states, schools are required to address cyberbullying in their anti-bullying policy. Some state laws also cover off-campus behavior that creates a hostile school environment.

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Steps to take for documenting and reporting cyberbullying.

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Components of State Anti-Bullying Laws and Regulations

What are the California laws and regulations that cover bullying?

How are bullying and cyberbullying defined in California anti-bullying laws and regulations?

California anti-bullying laws and regulations include the following definitions of bullying and cyber sexual bullying:

"Bullying" means any severe or pervasive physical or verbal act or conduct, including communications made in writing or by means of an electronic act, and including one or more acts committed by a pupil or group of pupils as defined in Section 48900.2, 48900.3, or 48900.4, directed toward one or more pupils that has or can be reasonably predicted to have the effect of one or more of the following:

(A) Placing a reasonable pupil or pupils in fear of harm to that pupil's or those pupils' person or property.

(B) Causing a reasonable pupil to experience a substantially detrimental effect on his or her physical or mental health.

(C) Causing a reasonable pupil to experience substantial interference with his or her academic performance.

(D) Causing a reasonable pupil to experience substantial interference with his or her ability to participate in or benefit from the services, activities, or privileges provided by a school.

"Electronic act" means the creation or transmission originated on or off the schoolsite, by means of an electronic device, including, but not limited to, a telephone, wireless telephone, or other wireless communication device, computer, or pager, of a communication, including, but not limited to, any of the following:

(i) A message, text, sound, video, or image.

(ii) A post on a social network Internet Web site, including, but not limited to:

(I) Posting to or creating a burn page. "Burn page" means an Internet Web site created for the purpose of having one or more of the effects listed in paragraph (1).

(II) Creating a credible impersonation of another actual pupil for the purpose of having one or more of the effects listed in paragraph (1). "Credible impersonation" means to knowingly and without consent impersonate a pupil for the purpose of bullying the pupil and such that another pupil would reasonably believe, or has reasonably believed, that the pupil was or is the pupil who was impersonated.

(III) Creating a false profile for the purpose of having one or more of the effects listed in paragraph (1). "False profile" means a profile of a fictitious pupil or a profile using the likeness or attributes of an actual pupil other than the pupil who created the false profile.

(iii)

(I) An act of cyber sexual bullying.

(II) For purposes of this clause, "cyber sexual bullying" means the dissemination of, or the solicitation or incitement to disseminate, a photograph or other visual recording by a pupil to another pupil or to school personnel by means of an electronic act that has or can be reasonably predicted to have one or more of the effects described in subparagraphs (A) to (D), inclusive, of paragraph (1). A photograph or other visual recording, as described above, shall include the depiction of a nude, semi-nude, or sexually explicit photograph or other visual recording of a minor where the minor is identifiable from the photograph, visual recording, or other electronic act.

(III) For purposes of this clause, "cyber sexual bullying" does not include a depiction, portrayal, or image that has any serious literary, artistic, educational, political, or scientific value or that involves athletic events or school-sanctioned activities.

Cal Ed Code § 48900 (2016)

Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations cover cyberbullying that occurs off-campus?

Yes. California anti-bullying laws cover off-campus conduct encompassing any electronic act where the creation or transmission originated on or off the school site.

What are the policy requirements for schools to prevent and respond to bullying behavior?

California school districts are required to adopt a policy prohibiting harassment, intimidation, or bullying. School district policies must contain key policy and procedural elements, including, but not limited to:

Statements prohibiting harassment, intimidation, or bullying;

Procedures for reporting and investigations;

Publications of antidiscrimination, anti-harassment, anti-intimidation, and anti-bullying laws;

Resources available to support LGBTQ and other at-risk students; and

Protections for complainants from retaliation.

California school districts are encouraged to maintain documentation of complaints and their resolution for a minimum of one review cycle.

Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations include protections for specific groups?

Yes. California anti-bullying laws require districts to adopt a policy that prohibits discrimination, harassment, intimidation, and bullying based on actual or perceived characteristics including immigration status, disability, gender, gender identity, gender expression, nationality, race or ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or association with a person or group with one or more of these actual or perceived characteristics.

California schools that receive federal funding are required by federal law to address discrimination on a number of different personal characteristics. Find out when bullying may be a civil rights violation.

Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations encourage or require districts to implement bullying prevention programs or strategies?

Yes. California anti-bullying laws direct the department of education to display information, curricula, and resources that address bias-related discrimination, harassment, intimidation, cyber sexual bullying, and bullying. California anti-bullying laws encourage school districts to inform pupils regarding available information and resources on the state department of education website regarding the dangers and consequences of cyber sexual bullying.

California anti-bullying laws also direct the department of education to develop an online to assist all school staff, school administrators, parents, pupils, and community members in increasing their knowledge of the dynamics of bullying and cyberbullying. The online training module shall include, but is not limited to, identifying an act of bullying or cyberbullying, and implementing strategies to address bullying and cyberbullying.
Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations encourage or require districts to train teachers and other school staff on how to respond to bullying incidents?
Yes. California anti-bullying laws also direct the department of education to develop an online to assist all school staff, school administrators, parents, pupils, and community members in increasing their knowledge of the dynamics of bullying and cyberbullying. The online training module shall include, but is not limited to, identifying an act of bullying or cyberbullying, and implementing strategies to address bullying and cyberbullying.
Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations encourage or require districts to provide safeguards or mental health supports for students involved with bullying?
Yes. California schools are encouraged to refer students involved with bullying to a school counselor, school psychologist, social worker, child welfare attendance personnel, school nurse, or other school support services personnel for case management, counseling, and participation in a restorative justice program, as appropriate.
Do California anti-bullying laws and regulations involve parents in efforts to address bullying behavior?
Yes. California school districts must inform parents or legal guardian when a student is involved in an act of harassment, intimidation, cyber sexual bullying, or bullying, and must make available information on statewide resources to parents or legal guardians regarding harassment, intimidation, cyber sexual bullying, and bullying.

For More Information

Visit the California Department of Education's " Bullying and Hate-Motivated Behavior Prevention" webpage and/or view the California sample policy for bullying prevention on bullying and harassment.

The key component framework used in the analysis of state laws is based on the review of legislation presented in the " Analysis of State Bullying Laws and Policies - December 2011 " (U.S. Department of Education).

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California Anti-Bullying Laws & Policies

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California anti-bullying laws and regulations include the following definitions of bullying and cyber sexual bullying: "Bullying" means any severe or pervasive physical or verbal act or conduct, including communications made in writing or by means of an electronic act, and including one or more acts committed by a pupil or

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We have collated a selection of helplines that offer various levels of support for problems ranging from cyberbullying and revenge porn, to mental health and suicide prevention.

Although we do our best to monitor the effectiveness and reliability of any external organizations that we link to - we cannot accept responsibility for any problems resulting in the use of these resources.

Bullying & Cyberbullying Helplines

CHILDLINE (UK) 0800 1111

STOP BULLYING NOW HOTLINE (USA) 1-800-273-8255

Helpline set up by U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Available 24/7

Kids Helpline (AUS) 1-800 55 1800

Advice for children parents and schools

Available 24/7

NSPCC HELPLINE (UK) 0808 800 5000

Young Minds (UK) 0808 802 5544

Advice for parents on bullying and mental health

Open Monday-Friday 9.30am-4pm

Kids Help Phone (Canada) 800-668-6868

Mental Health Helplines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA) 1-800-273-8255

Samaritans (UK) 116123

Suicide prevention

Depression and anxiety support

Available 24/7

Free to call telephone number

Suicide National Hopeline (USA) 1-800-784-2433

Available 24/7

Also available in Spanish 1-888-628-9454

Lifeline (Aus) 131114

Anxiety UK (UK) 08444 775774

Support for anxiety and related problems

Open Monday-Friday 9.30am-5.30pm

Mind Information Line (UK) 0300 123 3393

International Bipolar Foundation (Spain & USA) 1-800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention

Bilingual

Busy helplines at times - limited resources during busy periods

Spain helpline can be reached on 914590050

Eating Disorders & Negative Body Image Helplines

National Eating Disorders Association (USA) 1-800-931-2237

Beat (UK) 0808 801 0677

Provides support for anybody affected by eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS

Open 365 days per year from 3pm to 10pm

The Butterfly Foundation (AUS) 1-800 33 4673

ANAD (USA) 1-800-931-2237

Revenge Porn Helplines

Revenge Porn (UK) 0345 6000 459

Open 10am-4pm Monday-Friday

Provides advice to anybody affected by revenge porn including families

LGBTQ+ Helplines

The Trevor Project (USA) 1-866-488-7386

Available 24/7

Suicide prevention within the LGBTQ+ community

LGBT Foundation (UK) 0345 330 3030

Helps people within the LGBT+ community stay safe and assists them with trauma and health concerns.

Open 10am-10pm Monday-Friday

Addiction Helplines

Video Game Addiction (UK) 08000 886 686

Specializes in video game addiction

Available 24/7

American Addiction Centers (USA) 888-970-4559

Offers treatment for various addictions

Available 24/7

Restart (USA) 1-800-682-6934

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Use our list of helplines for problems such as cyberbullying, revenge porn, mental health and suicide prevention.

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TIPS FOR PARENTS

THE WORLD IS RAPIDLY CHANGING - EMBRACE THE CHANGE!

Digital technology and the internet now play a huge part in all of our lives - especially our children's. For the most part, school, work and social lives are now all successfully integrated with the internet, offering opportunities that we could have only dreamed of a few years ago - with our children at the forefront of this exciting age of change. Try and embrace the change by seeing it as an adventure rather than a challenge!

LEARN WITH YOUR CHILD

If we are to help our children reach their full personal and academic potential in this new technological era, then we must learn with them on how to use the internet responsibly and safely. Your children might even be able to teach you a thing or two!

STAY A STEP AHEAD OF YOUR CHILDREN

This can be a challenge for many parents who are unfamiliar with the technical devices, websites and social media platforms that their children visit. This parents guide will help you to understand the dangers posed to children online and how to deal with them together as a family.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!

There are plenty of resources for parents and lots of people who want to help out - you just need to find them! Sign up to the Cybersmile Support Community to access our community threads - ask and answer questions with the help of other parents, young people and trained Cybersmile advisors. Share your experiences - a problem shared is a problem halved!

COMMUNICATION IS KEY

It is vital that your child or children can come to you with their online problems, and communicate freely without the fear of losing internet privileges, such as the closing of their social media accounts or confiscating devices such as mobile phones or laptops. If you can build a relationship with your child/children, where they feel comfortable sharing their online problems with you, it is much more likely that you will be able to help them with any online problems that do occur in the future - before they escalate to the point where your child/children cannot see a way out of the situation.

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Digital technology and the internet now play a huge part in all of our lives - especially our children's. For the most part, school, work and social lives are now all successfully integrated with the internet, offering opportunities that we could have only dreamed of a few years ago - with our children at the forefront of this exciting age of change.

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A teacher's guide

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Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior.

The most common places where cyberbullying occurs are:

Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tik Tok

Text messaging and messaging apps on mobile or tablet devices

Instant messaging, direct messaging, and online chatting over the internet

Online forums, chat rooms, and message boards, such as Reddit

Email

Online gaming communities

Special Concerns

With the prevalence of social media and digital forums, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online - both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content - creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyberbullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved - not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it. Cyberbullying has unique concerns in that it can be:

Persistent - Digital devices offer an ability to immediately and continuously communicate 24 hours a day, so it can be difficult for children experiencing cyberbullying to find relief.

Permanent - Most information communicated electronically is permanent and public, if not reported and removed. A negative online reputation, including for those who bully, can impact college admissions, employment, and other areas of life.

Hard to Notice - Because teachers and parents may not overhear or see cyberbullying taking place, it is harder to recognize.

Laws and Sanctions

All states have laws requiring schools to respond to bullying. As cyberbullying has become more prevalent with the use of technology, many states now include cyberbullying, or mention cyberbullying offenses, under these laws. Schools may take action either as required by law, or with local or school policies that allow them to discipline or take other action. Some states also have provisions to address bullying if it affects school performance. You can learn about the laws and policies in each state, including if they cover cyberbullying.

Frequency of Cyberbullying

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:

The 2019 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) indicates that, nationwide, about 16 percent of students in grades 9-12 experienced cyberbullying.

The 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that an estimated 15.9% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey.

See also " Frequency of Bullying."

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Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets.

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Grades Pre K- High School

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Words That Heal: Using Children's Literature to Address Bullying

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This multi-grade unit offers instructional activities based on a variety of books that can be used in kindergarten through high school to increase empathy and help students to respond constructively to bullying that they observe or experience in their communities.

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This National Bullying Prevention Month, we'd like to discuss the topic from a different perspective: what to do when it's child who's doing the bullying.

It can be heartbreaking to realize this is happening. Parents can be left wondering how this behavior started and how they didn't notice it sooner. At Bark, we know how stressful and upsetting this can be, which is why we've done some research on what to do if your child exhibits bullying behavior.

Watching Our Language

It's crucial to remember that kids don't bully because they're "bad kids." Kids are still learning and maturing until well after high school. Bad behavior isn't a reflection of who they are as a person.

Because of this, it's important to use child-centered language. Try not to refer to your child as a "bully." Say that they "have bullied" or "are engaging in bullying behavior." This way, it doesn't become intertwined with the child's identity. The same goes for recipients of bullying - say "the bullied child" instead of "victim."

Why Kids Bully

There are many different reasons why relatively well-adjusted children may treat others antagonistically. It's important to remember that kids aren't as emotionally or intellectually developed as adults, so their actions may seem frustrating or irrational. Some of the common reasons kids bully include:

Signs Your Child Might Be Bullying

Sometimes, you know for sure that your child is bullying - especially if their school has contacted you or you've seen them do it in person. But If you're not 100% certain whether your child is exhibiting bullying behavior, you may want to learn about these warning signs. Pay attention to whether your child:

Often acts aggressively toward family, teachers, and other adults

Demonstrates controlling behavior

Is hot-tempered and gets easily frustrated

Frequently tests boundaries or breaks rules

Can easily talk their way out of difficult and tense situations

Seems to have little sympathy towards others

Talking to Your Child About Bullying

If you discover that your child is bullying others (most likely news you'll receive from another parent or a teacher), the most important thing to do is sit down and communicate. Listen to your child's side of the story and see how they react. Stress that you love them, but that their bullying behavior will have to change.

Some kids may be able to articulate why they act in certain ways (to fit in, for example). Younger kids, on the other hand, may not know why they do the things they do. It's important to emphasize that you love them and want to help them be a better friend.

How to Address Bullying Behavior

Parents, school staff, and community organizations can all help address bullying and ensure the behavior stops. Here are a few strategies to help curb bullying behavior:

Make sure the child knows what's unacceptable

Take bullying seriously

Uncover the reasons a child is bullying

Teach empathy

Demonstrate that there are consequences

Model respectful behavior

If Your Child Cyberbullies

Schoolyard bullying in today's generation still exists, but more and more often, harmful activity occurs online. Cyberbullying is quicker, easier, and can occur around the clock and from any location. In a previous blog post, we discussed just how different cyberbullying is from the bullying you may remember as a child.

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This National Bullying Prevention Month, we'd like to discuss the topic from a different perspective: what to do when it's child who's doing the bullying. It can be heartbreaking to realize this is happening. Parents can be left wondering how this behavior started and how they didn't notice it sooner.

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Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization.

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TeachersFirst's Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention Resources
Other TeachersFirst Special Topics Collections
This collection of reviewed resources from TeachersFirst is selected to help teachers, parents, and students manage the tough issues of bullying and cyberbullying. Whether you plan a special unit or lesson on this topic for Bullying Prevention Week or select from these resources on an as-needed basis, you will find useful ideas and strategies for students and adults to work together to erase bullying from your class and school culture. Be sure to share these resources with parents and your parent organization via your class or school web page.

See our complete list of resources about bullying and cyberbullying.

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This collection of reviewed resources from TeachersFirst is selected to help teachers, parents, and students manage the tough issues of bullying and cyberbullying. USe these resources for planning anti-bullying lessons and activities at any time during the school year or in observance of Bullying Prevention Week.

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The Bystander Effect | The Science of Empathy

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This course outline provides an instructional pathway for sixth-grade educators to teach an 18-week Facing History course exploring questions of identity, family legacy, group membership, and choices.

Course content is based on the following resources: 1) Unit: Identity & Community, 2) Unit: My Part of the Story, 3) Novel: Wonder, and 4) Memoir: Brown Girl Dreaming.

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This course outline provides an instructional pathway for sixth-grade educators to teach an 18-week Facing History course exploring questions of identity, family legacy, group membership, and choices. Course content is based on the following resources: 1) Unit: Identity & Community, 2) Unit: My Part of the Story, 3) Novel: Wonder, and 4) Memoir: Brown Girl Dreaming.

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Conflict is a disagreement or argument in which both sides express their views.

Bullying is negative behavior directed by someone exerting power and control over another person.

Article
Why conflict isn't all bad and why no one ever deserves to be bullied
If you are in a relationship with another human being, whether it's a good friend or just someone who sits next to you in school, the chances are pretty good that you will be in conflict with that person at some point or have already had a conflict with that person. Where there are two people in a relationship, there likely will be disagreements and changes.

One friend might want to play video games; the other might want to go outside. One friend wants to go shopping; the other really doesn't like shopping. Your classmate always wants to be first in line and so do you. Your brothers fight over who has a bigger part of their room, trying to make sure it's exactly the same down to the inch. Things like that happen every day.

Conflict is a natural part of human relationships as people grow and change. Even though it can cause us stress and can hurt, conflict is not bullying. Conflict happens between two people who are equal in the relationship (think: friends or classmates or co-workers) but have two different points of view about what's going on. Sometimes this escalates into a disagreement that's so strong people become really emotional. There might be strong words used and lots of big feelings involved. It may take time to sort things out.

In conflict, when things are equal between people, both sides usually want the issue to be resolved. They don't want the conflict to keep going on; they want to make things better and they want the relationship to continue in a healthy way. Neither person wants to keep hurting the other, so both people will try to do things to improve the situation. Sometimes, conflict can even be helpful in a relationship that needs to change, providing an opportunity to improve something that's not going right between the parties.

With bullying, the person (or group of people) who is doing the bullying means to hurt the other person. The hurt or harm is done on purpose to make the bullying target feel like less of a person. There is always something unequal about the relationship between the two people; maybe the person bullying is physically stronger and creates fear because of that, or maybe the person bullying is more popular and has the kind of social power that can turn a whole group against one person.

Whichever type of power a person with bullying behavior has, they will use it over the person who is being bullied to make them feel less than who they are. Of course, the person who is being bullied does not want this treatment and did nothing to deserve being treated this way.

Bullying scenarios might look like this: Someone convinces a group to tease another student based on their looks; someone threatens to beat a person up because of how they talk; somebody posts something untrue and hurtful online about someone else; or someone trips a classmate and makes everyone laugh at the person falling down. The harm is done deliberately and the intent is to cause the other person to suffer in some way.

The bullying behavior is usually repeated, or threatened to be repeated, over and over. Someone who is bullying may decide to leave out a friend by giving them the cold shoulder and excluding them from group activities. Someone may use a false statement or other mean word toward another every time they see them, or go on social media in an attempt to damage their reputation. Even the threat of behavior like this causes unwanted and undeserved pain for the target.

Think about it this way:

Conflict, while sometimes uncomfortable, can be an opportunity for equal partners in the situation to learn how to solve problems. This will happen by both people working the problem out through healthy and positive means.

Bullying is done by someone perceived to be more powerful than the target and is unwanted, negative, and meant to cause harm to the bullying target through physically or emotionally damaging means that are repeated or threatened to be repeated.

The next time you are in a conflict with someone (and there will likely be a next time!), try and remember that inside every conflict is a hidden opportunity to make your relationship better by learning to speak up for yourself and express your needs. Remember that conflict between two human beings is normal and is bound to happen.

Remember as well, that bullying is not the same as conflict. Bullying is meant to cause hurt or harm. Bullying is not something that anyone deserves to have happen to them and they have the right to feel safe.
Conflict Resolution
The difference between bullying and conflict is important to note, because conflict resolution or mediation strategies are sometimes misused to solve bullying problems. These strategies can send the message that both children are partly right and partly wrong, or that "We need to work out the conflict between you two." These messages are not appropriate in cases of bullying (or in any situation where someone is being victimized). The appropriate message to the child who is being bullied should be "Bullying is wrong and no one deserves to be bullied. We are going to do everything we can to stop what is happening to you."
Bullying and Conflict - What's the Difference? | PACERTalks About Bullying, Episode 8
Sometimes people think that bullying and conflict are the same thing, but they aren't. In one way or another, conflict is a part of everyday experience, in which we navigate the complexities of how we interact. Typically minor conflicts don't make someone feel unsafe or threatened. Bullying, on the other hand, is a behavior with intention to hurt, harm or humiliate and the person targeted is not able to make it stop.

Teen Perspective:

In one way or another, conflict is a part of everyday experience. Even if it is something small, which it typically is, there is the constant navigation of the complexities of human relationships. This is normal, and minor conflicts typically don't make someone feel unsafe or threatened.

The questions to ask yourself when you are unsure about the tone of a certain conversation or encounter to determine if it is bullying include:

Are we equals in this situation?

Do I feel victimized or targeted by an individual or a group?

Do I feel safe?

Do I feel that the person or group has intentionally hurt or humiliated me?

Sometimes, it can be easy to minimize a bullying situation because you don't really want to deal with the realities of what is happening to you. It is easy to get into a pattern of qualifying bullying as conflict in order to avoid facing the actual problem, when really it is something that you don't deserve and something that requires outside intervention. It can be helpful to ask these questions to yourself, as it can help you sort out the reality of your particular situation.

Blog Post

Is it a Conflict or is it Bullying? Helping Our Kids Learn the Difference.
Written by staff at PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center

Third graders Nick and Kevin weren't close friends, but they played foursquare together every recess they could. They battled every point during games that were always loud because the foursquare group was serious about the game. There were often disagreements about fouls and rules but they were generally able to work it out. The adults on recess duty did a nice job of monitoring the players, and they carried laminated sets of rules in case the players needed "help" with disputes. Yet, "It's not fair!" was often shouted across the playground during recess.

One day Kevin came home and told his mother, Jennifer, that he'd been bullied. Jennifer, alarmed, asked for details.

"Nick pushed me on the playground," Kevin said. He told Jennifer that he and Nick had argued about a ball that was "on the line," and that a teacher asked both boys to sit on the bench to cool off during the rest of recess. "It's not fair! He started it, but we both got punished," Kevin said. Kevin didn't think that Nick's apology was punishment enough.

Had Nick bullied Kevin? Was Nick too aggressive, but not to the point of bullying Kevin? Or were both boys at fault? Jennifer wasn't sure what to think. She called the school to ask for more details.

When a parent hears a story like this, it isn't always clear what has happened or what the consequences should be. Jennifer was torn between feeling she might not have heard the whole story, and wanting to fix things for Kevin.

Here are some helpful ways to distinguish between a conflict and bullying behavior:

Conflict looks like:

Disagreement or argument in which both sides express their views

Equal power between those involved

Behavior usually stops when one child realizes they are hurting another

Bullying looks like:

Intent of behavior is to hurt, harm, or humiliate

Person bullying has more "power" such as being more popular or physically stronger

Negative behavior continues even when hurt or harm occurs

It can be hard for parents when their children are involved in difficult, confusing situations. Nevertheless, it's important for parents to realize that conflict between children is inevitable - and that sometimes their child won't like or agree with the outcome. Parents can help their children handle these situations by:

Asking open-ended questions about what happened

Listening more than talking

Offering support

Helping their child problem solve

It's easier for a child to confide what is happening to them when they know their parent is in their corner. Conflict situations are great teachable moments. Parents can help their children learn the skills necessary to express their own views and help create their own solutions.

A cautionary note: if behavior crosses the line from conflict to bullying, it's not up to the child being bullied to fix the situation. While it can be important for the child to help create a plan for change, adults are responsible for making and enforcing rules so that all the children involved are safe.
Posted November, 2016
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What's the difference between conflict and bullying?

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Conflict is a disagreement or argument in which both sides express their views. Bullying is negative behavior directed by someone exerting power and control over another person.

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Learning more about bullying and biases and promoting empathy in the classroom.

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Promote empathy and perspective-taking, and help students challenge prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination. Start by reviewing bullying basics and testing yourself for hidden bias, then follow up with activities that remind students to Speak Up at School. And, since students aren't the only ones who bully, assess the power dynamics among the adults in your building.

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Do's and Don'ts: Guidelines for Teachers 

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Do's and Don'ts: Guidelines for Teachers 

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This piece is to accompany Bullying Basics. Some anti-bullying policies actually do more harm than good. Educators can use the following tips to intervene appropriately when bullying occurs.

Stop the bullying immediately.

Stand between the bullied student and the bully(ies), blocking eye contact. Don't send any bystanders away. To avoid escalating the tension, wait until later to sort out the facts. Talk to the parties involved separately once they are calm.

Refer to school rules regarding bullying.

Speak in a matter-of-fact tone of voice to describe what you heard or saw. Let all students know bullying is always unacceptable.

Support the bullied child.

Do this in a way that allows him or her dignity and to feel safe from retaliation. Make a point to see the child later in private if he or she is upset. Increase supervision to assure bullying is not repeated.

Offer guidance to bystanders.

Let them know how they might appropriately intervene or get help next time. Tell them you noticed their inaction or that you're pleased with the way they tried to help.

Impose immediate consequences.

Wait until all parties have calmed down. Do not require that students apologize or make amends that may be insincere. The consequences should be logical and connected to the offense. A first step could be taking away social privileges i.e. recess or lunch in the cafeteria.

Notify colleagues and parents.

Let the bully know he or she is being watched.

Follow up and intervene as necessary.

Support the bullied child and the bully, enabling them to vent feelings and recognize their own behavior. The bully may need to learn new methods of using his or her power and influence in the classroom.

Do not confuse bullying with conflict.

Bullying is a form of victimization, and addressing it as a "conflict" downplays the negative behavior and the seriousness of the effects. Educators should strive to send the message that "no one deserves to be bullied," and to let the bully know the behavior is wholly inappropriate.

Do not use peer mediation.

It can be very upsetting for a child who has been bullied to face his or her tormentor in mediation. Giving both parties an equal voice can empower the bully and make the bullied student feel worse. In addition, there is no evidence that peer mediation is effective in stopping bullying.

Do not use group treatment for bullies.

Some schools use therapeutic strategies such as anger management, skill-building, empathy-building and self-esteem building to reach the bully. In practice, group members can actually reinforce each others' bullying and antisocial behavior.

Adapted from "Misdirections in Bullying Prevention and Intervention," and other tip sheets by Stop Bullying Now!, a website dedicated to helping youth "take a stand" and "lend a hand."

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This piece is to accompany Bullying Basics. Some anti-bullying policies actually do more harm than good. Educators can use the following tips to intervene appropriately when bullying occurs. Stand between the bullied student and the bully(ies), blocking eye contact. Don't send any bystanders away.

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Criminal Sanction?
All states have various criminal laws that might apply to bullying behaviors, depending on the nature of the act. For
example, if someone is physically hurting another, assault statutes might apply. All states also have criminal
harassment and/or stalking statutes, and most include explicit reference to electronic forms. States with a "YES" in
this column are the ones that expressly include electronic forms of harassment.
School Sanction?
In certain states, the bullying law specifies provisions allowing the school to discipline students in appropriate
and measured ways.
School Policy?
In every state except Montana, the bullying law mandates schools to have a formal policy to help with identification
of the behavior and discuss the possible formal and/or informal disciplinary responses that can follow. Some laws
require certain elements to be included in the policy (such as a specific definition of bullying), while others
simply require a policy without specification.
Off-campus?
Federal case law allows schools to discipline students for off-campus behavior that results in a substantial
disruption of the learning environment at school. States with a "YES" in this column have simply codified that
standard in state statute.
List of States, in case you don't want to use the map above...

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Bullying Laws and Cyberbullying Laws Across America

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Criminal Sanction? All states have various criminal laws that might apply to bullying behaviors, depending on the nature of the act. For example, if someone is physically hurting another, assault statutes might apply. All states also have criminal harassment and/or stalking statutes, and most include explicit reference to electronic forms. States with a "YES" in this column are the ones that expressly include electronic forms of harassment.

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It's no surprise that cyberbullying has been a hot topic lately. With the rapid progression of technological abilities, the age-old issue of bullying has moved to the more anonymous-but no less harmful-digital world.

Recent research reports that 58 percent of kids admit to receiving hurtful comments online. About 75 percent of students have visited a website bashing another student while about 70 percent of students report seeing frequent bullying online.

And with the denouncement of cyberbullying by national figures, the problem is well on its way to attracting unprecedented attention. But in the midst of it all, it's difficult to parse what cyberbullying really means at a legal level.

Is cyberbullying illegal? Could it result in jail time? Keep reading for expert insights and clarity on the legal ramifications of cyberbullying.

What is cyberbullying, anyway?

"Cyberbullying is the platform the twenty-first century bully uses to inflict pain and humiliation upon another," says author and speaker Dr. John DeGarmo of The Foster Care Institute. "The use of technology to embarrass, threaten, tease, harass or even target another person." DeGarmo emphasizes the danger of cyberbullying in how inescapable it can be.

"Today's bully can follow the targeted victim wherever that child may go," he explains. "Whether the child is in school, at home ... whenever that bullied child has access to online technology, he or she can be bullied." He adds that this form of bullying can be non-stop; twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

"Today's bully can follow the targeted victim wherever that child may go."

DeGarmo stresses that bullying is on the upswing. Online platforms create easy, accessible opportunities for harassment-to the point that witnessing cruelty online is the norm for many. "Younger people see that on Twitter all the time," he says. "It's become part of their daily lives, and it's a breakdown of compassion."

Because cyberbullies can't witness the effect of their words, they use less restraint than they would in face-to-face situations. This emotional and physical detachment allows them to harass others, in some cases without truly realizing they've become a bully. But if you are thinking cyberbullying can never harm someone as much as a punch or getting shoved into a locker, think again.

"We see a significant number of young people who have experienced cyberbullying," says Dr. Jeff Nalin of Paradigm Malibu. "We have seen young people traumatized from a variety of events ranging from character assassination to revenge porn and taunts to engage in destructive behaviors, including suicide."

With the possibility of such severe ramifications, it begs the question: Is this a criminal offense?

Is cyberbullying a crime?

"Yes, there can be legal consequences," says attorney and founder of Carter Law Firm, Ruth Carter. "Depending on the rules of your state and the circumstances involved, discipline can include expulsion from school, criminal charges for harassment and/or civil lawsuits for defamation and other harms."

"The last thing anyone wants is a suicide or school shooting because of cyberbullying."

DeGarmo adds that due to the prevalence of the issue, most schools have created specific policies for cyberbullying. "Ten years ago, no one gave much thought to this issue," he says. "But now, schools are paying more attention. The last thing anyone wants is a suicide or school shooting because of cyberbullying."

The consequences for cyberbullies depend on the specific circumstance. Many cyberbullying cases wind up getting prosecuted as harassment. Some cases result in civil court, while others might warrant criminal charges and prosecution for hate crimes, impersonation, harassment, cyberbullying and violations under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA).

In addition to the larger laws, individual states have their own rules for cyberbullying. Stopbullying.gov offers a state-by-state map to highlight the specific policies.

But where do we draw the line between what cyberbullying is and what it isn't? What are some of the specific crimes cyberbullying can fall under? See this quick list below for reference.

Here is a list of potentially criminal forms of cyberbullying, as listed by Stomp Out Bullying:

Harassing someone, especially if the harassment is based on gender, race or other protected classes

Making violent threats

Making death threats

Making obscene and harassing phone calls and texts

Sexting

Sextortion, which is sexual exploitation

Child pornography

Stalking someone

Committing hate crimes

Taking a photo of someone in a place where they expect privacy

Extortion

If you are unsure about whether or not a specific behavior counts as cyberbullying, Carter says the best course of action is to ask for help. "Review the rules and go to the proper authority, depending on what avenue you're pursuing and ask if a particular behavior or situation is a violation," she suggests.

Carter advises anyone feeling harassed by a possible cyberbully to keep copies of harassing messages, screenshots of social media posts and video of the date, profile information of who posted it and the URL.

What are the long-term consequences of cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying could land you in court, get you fired, expelled or even arrested. But in addition to the trouble cyberbullies might face with authorities for a specific instance, both Carter and DeGarmo mention more long-term consequences.

"What goes online stays online," DeGarmo says. "People can find it. Those posts and comments won't just go away."

"The courts have already ruled that there's no such thing as privacy online."

DeGarmo recalls seeing applicants lose job opportunities because their potential employers went online to research the candidates and their social media platforms. "It's becoming a more common practice for employers," he says.

"What you thought was justified or funny in the moment may be tomorrow's regret," Carter points out. "Once you put something out there, you can never fully take it back. My rule is don't put anything online that you wouldn't put on the front page of a newspaper."

Carter has worked on several cases where social media posts became evidence or significant research factors in court. "The courts have already ruled that there's no such thing as privacy online," she adds.

Where is the issue of cyberbullying headed?

"Our culture has made a major shift for the better in identifying and addressing face-to-face bullying," Nalin says. "Because the media is currently putting energy and focus on cyberbullying, it seems likely that we will be able to do the same in the online arena."

Indeed, many anti-bullying campaigns are calling for increased uniformity and policy in how our society deals with cyberbullying. Sameer Hinduja recently wrote on the topic on behalf of the Cyberbullying Research Center. "We go into schools all the time and administrators simply don't know what they should do (and not do) to really make a difference," he wrote. He calls for clear, practical guidance from the federal government for schools to understand how to reduce online (and offline) harassment and promote peer respect, tolerance and kindness.

"I hope the lesson of 'think before you post' is being instilled and frequently repeated to young people when they get their first device or social media accounts," Carter says. "If you're angry, upset or in another heightened emotional state, don't post about it." If you feel you need to vent about it, she suggests writing it down or creating a video for personal use. But she urges you never to put it on the internet, regardless of the privacy settings.

Crime and technology

So is cyberbullying illegal? The answer to that is that it can be, and it is increasingly likely to have consequences for perpetrators. As cyberbullying has attracted greater attention, parents, educators, lawmakers and tech companies are hustling to create solutions. But the speed at which our technological capabilities develop is hard to match in legal infrastructure and the justice system.

Cyberbullying isn't the only issue where technology and the legal system crosses wires. Learn about another example of the intersection of crime and technology in our article: Has Technology Outrun the Law? What We Learned from the Apple vs. FBI Case.
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Is Cyberbullying Illegal? When Comments Turn Criminal

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It's no surprise that cyberbullying has been a hot topic lately. With the rapid progression of technological abilities, the age-old issue of bullying has moved to the more anonymous-but no less harmful-digital world. Recent research reports that 58 percent of kids admit to receiving hurtful comments online.