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I wonder do all teens think they can parents at a young age ?

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I wonder how many teens get bullied every year?

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It's a harmful behavior that impacts 1 in 5 students in the US.

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I wonder how much sleep the average teenager gets.

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Adolescents are notorious for not getting enough sleep.

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I wonder what are some things teens do under pressure?

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I wonder why do teens hide their feelings?

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I wonder why so many teenagers end up dropping out of High School?

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Even if it feels boring or irrelevant, just staying in school almost guarantees you'll end up in a better place than if you dropped out.

Unfortunately, according to a recent report from America's Promise Alliance, those factors rank among the top reasons why kids take themselves out of school:

Skye Gould/Tech Insider

The failure is hardly a personal one. Survey responses of nearly 2,000 students who took at least a semester off at school revealed that systemic factors like boring classes and family obligations were the guiding reasons kids left.

Research shows dropping out is strongly tied to socioeconomic status. Kids who come from low-income areas are 2.4 times more likely to drop out than middle-income kids. Unlike kids from wealthier families, for whom school is usually the primary focus, poorer students must focus on other responsibilities. School becomes secondary, if it's a priority at all.

Leading education theories suggest the experience of going to school could be greatly improved if teachers and principals took a more personalized approach. If kids felt like their specific problems were being heard and their interests explored, so the argument goes, school would no longer feel like the boring and irrelevant institution many see it as today.

NOW WATCH: Why we should ban non-vaccinated kids from schools

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The most common reasons students drop out of high school are heartbreaking

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Even if it feels boring or irrelevant, just staying in school almost guarantees you'll end up in a better place than if you dropped out. Unfortunately, according to a recent report from America's Promise Alliance, those factors rank among the top reasons why kids take themselves out of school: The failure is hardly a personal one.

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I wonder what are the reasons for some teens maturing faster than other teens.

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I wonder why teens are so distant from their parents?

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I wonder how teens feel about doing bad things behind their parents back?

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Let's admit it. We had all been through the rebellious age. Even if we didn't, for sure there are certain things that we did behind our parents' back. What I notice the most besides watching porn behind their parents' back, they tend to curse more than they ever need to.

I once blog about CURSING AND ITS ADVANTAGES but kids nowadays take it to another level. They curse so much, it just become plain retarded. I once saw a group of kids probably age around 12 to 14 years old, trying to FIT IN AS MUCH FOUL WORDS AS POSSIBLE into one simple sentence. It doesn't show how cool are them, it just shows how limited their vocabularies are and how hard they are trying to act cool.

Do you know the moment where you stop in the middle of your sentence in order to figure out what to say next, you will automatically say "Erm..", "Ar..." etc? These group of kids I saw, they uses foul words instead of those. That's where it gets all messed up. I wonder do they even know they make themselves sound stupid and the entire sentence had lost its meaning.

Just last week, I saw a group of teenagers loitering outside 100yen shop in Aman Suria. Age probably around 17 years old and they look more like dropouts. 3 of them spotted blonde hairdos and acting like some touch gangsters. There is another guy with black hair which is their so called "recently recruited underling". The 3 blonde hair guys just sitting there and bragging about HOW THEY STEAL SEVERAL PACKETS OF STUFF FROM A STORE.

I almost laughed my ass off hearing that. Of course stealing is a crime but for them to act tough like that? How bad ass is that? It's darn pathetic if you ask me. Can't they afford just a simple few packets of snacks? If you wanna be bad and brag about it, I cannot understand why they need to brag about some stupid stuffs like that. Then they even ask the "underling" to learn from there and this is what they mean by being cool.

I felt kinda sad and sorry for the black hair underling as he seemed so intimidated by these 3 BLONDE HAIRED SNACKS STEALING GANGSTERS WANNABE. I do not know whether to laugh my ass off or feel sorry for his ass.

Teenagers are way much worse than what their parents imagine them to be. Of course, there are many good apples as well and not only the bad ones. So it brings me to think. If you had a child, how do you raise the child to avoid being that pathetic?

Parents nowadays tend to force their children to do what they want the children to like rather what their children like. It causes all these incidents where they no longer had any means to release their pressure or tension. I was forced by my parents when I'm young to do what they want me to do instead of what I want to do. I can only come up with 1 conclusion.

Doing that, might just pleasing them for several years or so but you end up have to feel unhappy for a lifetime. This is the point where people tends to have a lot of "What Ifs" in their mind and started to regret. I thought of it and would not like to have such regret in the future and therefore, decided to take up this design course that I took. It's true that I had done many things unaware by my own parents and I believed these teenagers are doing just that.

They wanted to appear cool to their peers without much thinking because they lack such training to think for themselves. They lack judgement skills probably due to lack of judgement training by their parents. So if you are a parent, do you know what your child is doing behind your back?

Related posts:

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Let's admit it. We had all been through the rebellious age. Even if we didn't, for sure there are certain things that we did behind our parents' back. What I notice the most besides watching porn behind their parents' back, they tend to curse more than they ever need to.

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I wonder if people hit the right type of puberty once you are a teenager

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As a mom of four teens, I have been through the teen growth spurt a few times. With three teen daughters, I have watched and endured the physical and emotional changes. Now, I am watching my fourth, and only son, morph before my eyes.

From disengaging responses like "I don't want to talk about it," to pushing away the spontaneous embraces and morning wake-up kisses, the growth spurt is not for the weary of heart.

The world turns differently when your teen is growing fast.

Even though the teen growth spurt is an inevitable phase of growth, knowing this doesn't make the adjustment any easier, on parent or teen. Bettina over at The Lunch Tray blogged about the growing pains of feeding the teen here, and I have lamented on the lack of control parents have over what their teens eat on the Motherlode.

What You Can Expect During The Teen Growth Spurt

The teenage growth spurt varies by gender, with different timing of onset and rates of growth. Girls tend to experience their growth spurt earlier than boys, nearly two years earlier.

The sexual maturation aspect is a big piece of the growth spurt. Girls become hippy, leggy and buxom, while boys boast more muscles and hair.

How do you know if your teen is in a growth spurt? Some of the signs make it quite obvious.

13 Signs of the Teen Growth Spurt

High Waters:

Those brand new school pants are now "high waters." Ill-fitting-too tight in the bum and too short, evidenced by the white sports socks peeking out between the hem and shoe. This is a sign the teen is growing taller.

Big Foot:

The feet are one of the first indicators of an uptick in growth. Toes may press through sneaker fabric and threaten to bust through at any moment! Gone are the days of the annual shoe purchase-you're probably buying new shoes every four months or so if your teen is in a growth spurt. By the way, when will someone invent an expanding shoe?

Big Joints:

Knees, elbows, shoulders, and shoulder blades look abnormally robust, painfully knobby, and may poke out of shirts and pants.

Long Bones:

Gangly is the word to describe what used to be a compact child who looked proportionate. Now your teen's bones are growing longer, which shows up in height and longer arms. If you notice the wrists are popping out of those long sleeves, it's a pretty good indicator that the bones are growing.

Hair:

The downy blond or light brown hair dusting the arms and legs of your child becomes darker and coarser during puberty. Hair sprouts under the armpits, in the groin area, and on the face of boys.

Shoulders and Hips:

The frame (and shape) of your teen changes. Boys see broadening of their shoulders and girls' hips widen.

Smelly:

I don't have to say much more about this, other than the smell of a growing teen is decidedly different.

The Emotional Roller-Coaster:

From raised voices, disagreeableness, eye rolling and ignoring, to loud, crazy happiness, and sullen, un-engaged quietness, the teen tends to be emotionally labile. Who knows what's going on inside? I sure don't. But I do remember wanting to be left alone, feeling annoyed a lot, and wanting to engage my siblings and my parents on my terms- when I wanted to.

Man-Hunger:

Due to the physical changes and overall growth, your teen's appetite changes and you may see what was once a good appetite turn voracious. The good news is there may be more of an "eat anything" attitude, but this may accompany a constantly hungry demeanor. Here's some advice for handling this increased appetite.

More Snacking:

The phrase, "hollow leg," describes the phenomenon of being hungry on the hour, almost every hour. Frequent hunger translates to frequent eating, which is a sign of growth.

Plus-size Portions:

Piles of food on the plate, especially the food that is liked, is tied to the larger appetite associated with growing.

Pimples:

A side effect of hormonal changes, pimples are signs that the growth spurt (and puberty) is marching along.

Voice:

No more high-pitched screams from little boys. Instead, squeaks and a voice that isn't quite child-like or manly. Girls have voice changes too, but they are more subtle.

What signs of the teen growth spurt do you see?

If you're in the throes of a growth spurt or pretty sure your teen is going through a growth, I've got more tips and advice about what you can do: 7 Ways to Support Your Teen's Growth Spurt.

Keep scrolling down for my Height Predictor Tool (the most common way to get a sense of how tall your child will be).

Other ways to navigate teen growing challenges:
High Protein Breakfasts Your Teen Will Love Better Breakfast Recipes for Busy Teens Teenage Weight Gain: What You Can Do 9 Simple, Non-Diet Weight Loss Tips for Kids & Teens Teen Diet and Nutrition: What to Expect
Keep reading....

You may want some further guidance from The Kids Healthy Weight Project Workbook. This workbook will take parents through the step-by-step process of setting up a food system, feeding strategy, and the lifestyle habits needed to grow a healthy child and teen.

And last, I've created a Height Predictor Tool. This will help you estimate your child's ultimate height, however, genetics, lifestyle and nutrition will play a factor in the end result. You can get the Height Predictor Tool by clicking on the picture below:

**

Do you like The Nourished Child? Then facebook.com/TheNourishedChild!

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13 Signs of the Teen Growth Spurt - Jill Castle

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As a mom of four teens, I have been through the teen growth spurt a few times. With three teen daughters, I have watched and endured the physical and emotional changes. Now, I am watching my fourth, and only son, morph before my eyes.

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I wonder at what age teens start getting acne?

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At what age do adolescents start to get acne? | Acne

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Great question. Acne is an extremely common skin condition in adolescence. It can begin in early adolescence (around age 10) or in some adolescents, i

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I wonder if going through the teenage stage ever ruined a family or friendship?

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Whereas most people are warned that the blessed event of a new baby may challenge the romance in their marriage - not enough warning is given to parents of teens. Lulled by the relative calm of the school age years, they find themselves suddenly embroiled in the challenging journey of adolescence which extends anywhere from age 12 to 18 years.

Notwithstanding the love parents have for their kids and for each other, most parents will agree that the teen years can stress even the strongest of marriages. Why?

A close look suggests that the very developmental tasks that teens need to negotiate under the broad heading of " Identity vs. Role Confusion " call into question the stability, predictability, authority, intelligence, sleep and even sexual patterns of parents.
A Saturday night spent nervously waiting up for your teen, while blaming each other for being too lax or too rigid rarely sets the mood for romance!
That said, it is important to consider that raising a teen does not have to equate to ruining a marriage. In fact, it is the last thing you want and the very last thing they need!
Three Guiding Principles:
There are three Guiding Principles that may help you and your teen on this journey: Balance, Communication and Connection.

What makes them effective is that they not only help adolescents deal with the developmental tasks that transition them to adulthood; they are the same principles that help partners strengthen their own relationships.
Balance Teens Struggle with Balance
Basic to the challenges and chaos of adolescence-most teens have trouble with balancing everything from emotions, to friends, to school assignments.

Issues are presented in life or death terms.

People are loved or hated within a short span of time.

Actions are rarely considered in terms of consequences

Independence is professed while dependency demanded.

The world revolves around their lives.

Ever changing versions of how they look, what they believe, what they eat, and what they need leave little room for negotiation.

Parents Can Strike a Balance

Given history, gender, and personality, it is not unusual for parents to become seduced by their teens or polarized into extreme positions.
Why can't I drive with my friends to Florida-Dad trusts my driving!

It may actually be an advantage that you see things differently if you can use different perspectives as points of information to help strike a balance.

Rather than going along with something you think is dangerous, or putting your partner down to align with the teen, try being authentic and respectful of each other's opinion. Clarify the situation from both of your perspectives and from your teen's point of view rather than fight over the solutions. It sets the stage for collaborative problem solving and often finding a middle ground.
" You are right Dad thinks you are a good driver. Let's talk more about Spring Break and what you were thinking." Mutual Feedback Prevents Over-Parenting

An important but difficult balance for parents is the ability, as psychologist Brooke Feeney suggests, to restrain the need to help until the teen needs it-to support rather than substitute for a teen's efforts.
Why can't you let your daughter find her own job?"

When parents trust each other to give and take feedback, they can often avoid " helicopter parenting" which hurts rather than helps. Working together to be more effective not only enhances your view of each other; it enhances the competence of your teen.
" Mom and I are both eager to help, but we really want to know what you have in mind." Their Life vs. Your Life

Some parents are so enthralled with their teen and his/her activities, friends, and achievements, they abandon a personal interest in self and their relationship to become the 24/7-support team and audience to their child.

Some parents are so worried by the problems their teen seems to have-that they abdicate their role as partner to be the vigilant parent.

When love, support or even concern for a teen bankrupt a marriage, everyone loses.

Given that the challenges of adolescence often are underscored by a teen's narcissistic notion that the world revolves around them, it is to their advantage to realize that you have a life, needs and a relationship apart from them.

Communication The Language of Teens

Anyone who has parented teens knows that communication can get challenging.

If you have raised girls you know that most issues are vocalized as high drama. Asking someone to get off the phone to help with dinner can invite hysteria much less avoidance of the request.

If you have raised boys then you are more accustomed to feeling like you are living with a CIA agent. If you ask too much or he reveals too much-he may have to kill you.

Add the communication of social media in cell phones, emails, texting, etc. and gender differences are eclipsed. The only thing that matters is constant communication-with peers.

The Language of Parents

In face of this, some parents never stop talking to their teen and others shut down. Reflecting their stress, the parents' communication with each other often becomes colored by criticism of each other.
" No wonder he doesn't listen - you never stop yelling at him." " So she lied again and you still saying nothing to her?"

Parents can benefit from recognizing that criticizing each other can disqualify both in the eyes of a teen.

As strange as it may seen, it is better for a teen to hear parents say that they need his/her help to really speak about the issue. The request puts the parents into the same place, even if they have different styles and opinions, and gives the teen the chance to communicate what he/she is feeling or thinking.

Parent and teen collaboration on how to balance social media is invaluable. Despite resistance, if parents hang in, model and create a family plan like shutting phones off during a shared meal; charging all phones during the middle of the night; telling teens that they can blame the parents when friends ask why they didn't respond at 3Am-they will find that many teens are actually relieved.

Another important communication dynamic for parents with teens and with each other is positive communication. There are some teens and partners who never stop hearing what they are doing wrong. There is no motivation to listen if listening equates to hearing negatives about yourself.

It is valuable to communicate as " people" not just as worried parents to each other and to your teen. Teens should hear about your lives and even be asked for their advice or opinion. They should observe their parents enjoying a conversation together about something other than them!!!
Connection Peer Attachment

A primary change for parents and teens is the teen's move from attachment with parents to peers for affirmation, acceptance and connection. Whereas the parents were once the ones who were idealized, sought after, modeled-the peers now take center stage.

Some parents are so threatened by this loss that they will over-gratify their son/daughter as a way to keep them connected. They become the parent who always says " yes" - forcing a triangulation with the other parent who feels forced to say, " No."

It is far more productive to open the door to welcome your teen's friends than criticize them from a distance. You won't lose your teen if you stay the available parent.

Remember your teen is trying out versions of self through versions of friendships

As a parent, continue to welcome, entertain, go out with your own friends. Your relationship with your partner and your friends in a source of self-esteem for your teen.

Sexuality

For teens this is also a time of emerging gender and sexual identity. It is a time when physical and emotional needs invite romantic connection with a love object outside the parental bond.

This is an important time for parents to affirm their child's sexuality without rushing it or rejecting it.

A teen does not need a parent to want him/her to be dating if they are not ready.

A teen does not need a parent to know everything about their relationships with new friends and dating partners.

Often parents are so upset or so self-conscious with teens in the home that they put their own sexual relationship aside. Consider that your teens will benefit from seeing affection shared between you and you will benefit from remembering that obstacles to connection fuel desire. Finding a way to find each other is a valuable distraction from teens and stress.

If a parent's own relationship is solid, he/she is less likely to feel bereft, competitive, judgmental, seductive or restrictive of a teen's emerging sexuality and new love investments.

Marriage and Raising Teens
If you grow together as your teen grows, if they see your laughter as well as your stress, if they hear your apologies as well as your anger, if they know you love each other as you love them...you will have given them what they need to go forward...

Listen in anytime to Dr. Andrew Smiler on Psych Up Live "A Guide on Dating and Sex for the 21st Century Teen Boy"

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parental issues and teens. parental success with teens.

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Raising Teens Without Ruining Your Marriage: Three Principles

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Whereas most people are warned that the blessed event of a new baby may challenge the romance in their marriage - not enough warning is given to parents of teens. Lulled by the relative calm of the school age years, they find themselves suddenly embroiled...

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I wonder why it takes some teenslonger than others to mature

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Why do some people mature faster than others?

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Answer (1 of 7): We are on different paths. Some people, through no choice of their own, get a truckload of challenges dumped on them early in life and they have to mature. Others are shielded from the things that would make them grow. We don't have the answers to who gets what or why.

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I wonder if teens in different racial ethnicity mature faster than others?

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Assessment of bone age is a clinical procedure used in pediatric radiology to evaluate skeletal maturity on the basis of bone growth in the left hand and wrist, as seen on a radiograph. The determination of skeletal maturity (also referred to as bone age) plays an important role in the diagnosis and treatment of endocrinologic abnormalities and growth disorders in children ( 1,2). In clinical practice, the method most commonly used to assess bone age is matching of a radiograph of the left hand and wrist with the Greulich and Pyle atlas ( 3), which contains a reference set of standard hand images collected in the 1950s in healthy white children who were members of the middle or upper class population.

Over the past 30 years, many authors have questioned the appropriateness of using the Greulich and Pyle atlas for bone age assessment in contemporary children. In 1975, Roche et al ( 4) showed that the average child in the United States was less physically mature than the children in the Greulich and Pyle atlas. In 1996, Ontell et al ( 5) examined the applicability of the Greulich and Pyle standards to ethnically diverse children. However, these studies and various others ( 6-8) did not provide a large-scale systematic method for validation. Thus, the purpose of our study was to collect up-to-date data in healthy children to create a digital hand atlas (DHA) that can be used to evaluate, on the basis of the Greulich and Pyle atlas method, racial differences in skeletal growth patterns of Asian, African American, white, and Hispanic children in the United States.

MATERIALS AND METHODS

The protocol of this retrospective study was approved and has been renewed annually by the institutional review boards of our institutions, and written informed consent was obtained from all subjects or their legal guardians. This study was compliant with the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. Subject anonymity was achieved by replacing the subject name and other traceable information with a data encryption method.

Subject Recruitment

During the past 10 years (May 1997 to March 2008), a DHA has been developed that contains 1390 hand and wrist radiographs obtained in healthy Asian, African American, white, and Hispanic boys and girls. All subjects (age range, 1 day to 18 years) were recruited from public schools in Los Angeles County, California, starting in the late 1990s ( 9- 15).

Case Selection Criteria

Before the hand was examined with radiography, a physical examination was performed to determine the health and Tanner maturity index ( 16) of the subject to ensure that he or she was healthy and that his or her skeletal development was normal. Height, trunk height, and weight were measured and used to calculate the body mass index.

Image Acquisition

Each radiograph of the hand and wrist was obtained with a rigorous data collection protocol ( 9). The radiographs were obtained with an x-ray generator (Polyphos 50; Siemens, Erlangen, Germany) at 55 kVp and 1.2 mAs. The radiation dose delivered per image was less than 1 mrem (0.01 mSv), which is equivalent to approximately 1 day of natural background radiation. The hand was adjusted to the correct position, which required the subject to keep his or her fingers spread apart and maintain hand straightness as much as possible; no hand jewelry was worn. The distance between the x-ray tube and the image cassette was 40 inches. The hand of a normal child was less than 1 inch thick; therefore, the magnification factor was approximately 1.

Image Interpretation

After a radiograph of the hand was acquired in each subject, two experienced pediatric radiologists (each with more than 25 years of experience in bone age assessment) performed independent readings based on Greulich and Pyle atlas standards. During reading, radiologists were blinded to the subject's chronologic age, race, and other pertinent information.

The subject's bone age, as determined by the radiologist, was compared with the subject's chronologic age. The image was selected and accepted to the DHA only if the difference between the subject's bone age, as determined by the radiologist, and the subject's chronologic age was less than 3 years. The acceptance rate was higher than 90%.

Image Digitization

For data analysis, Web-based image and data distribution, and communication in the clinical environment and public domain, each accepted radiograph (subject name and identification were covered with black tape) was digitized into the Digital Imaging and Communications in Medicine (DICOM) format by using a laser film digitizer (Array, Tokyo, Japan); furthermore, each subject's information (excluding his or her name and identification, as well as any other traceable data) was put in the DICOM header ( 17-19). We used the following parameters: 12 bits per pixel, optical density of 0.0-4.0, and 100-μm pixel spacing. The size of the image corresponded to the size of the original radiograph. contains the pertinent information of four 14-year-old boys of different races. The corresponding radiographs of their hands are shown in .

Table 1.

Data Collection Summary

There were two cycles of data collection, each of which had eight categories (Asian boys, Asian girls, African-American boys, African-American girls, white boys, white girls, Hispanic boys, and Hispanic girls). Each category contained 19 age groups (one for subjects younger than 1 year and 18 set at 1-year intervals for subjects aged 1-18 years). The two pediatric radiologists independently read all images obtained in each cycle. Cycle 1 consisted of 1103 digitized hand images with demographic data. Five cases for each younger age group (1-9 years) and 10 cases for each older age group (10-18 years) were included. The sample sizes were chosen to achieve a precision of approximately 0.20 for all age groups, with a 95% confidence interval when using the digital hand atlas to compare bone age with chronologic age. Precision is defined as the confidence interval width divided by the estimated mean value of chronologic age. Subjects younger than 1 year were considered infants, and their data were not used for analysis.

In order to study the active growth period in children aged 5-14 years more carefully to yield better statistics, data were collected in 287 subjects during the second cycle after the first cycle had been completed. Thus, a total of 1390 cases were included in the DHA. The breakdown of cases was as follows: 167 Asian girls, 167 Asian boys, 174 African American girls, 184 African American boys, 166 white girls, 167 white boys, 183 Hispanic girls, and 182 Hispanic boys. These 1390 cases were used to derive the results described in this article.

Statistical Analysis

Statistical analysis was performed with computer software (SPSS, version 15.0 for Windows; SPSS, Chicago, Ill). Graphs were generated with third-party software (KaleidaGraph 3.5; Synergy Software, Reading, Pa). Two types of analysis, the paired-samples t test and analysis of variance, were performed by using chronologic age as the reference standard. Data from subjects in the newborn group were not used for analysis. P ≤ .05 indicated a significant difference.

Data acquired in both cycles for each race and a given sex were combined with data for the entire age range (1-18 years), and the paired-samples t test was performed on a case-by-case basis to find the mean difference between the average bone age of two readings and the chronologic age. This resulted in eight categories for comparison: Asian boys, Asian girls, African American boys, African American girls, white boys, white girls, Hispanic boys, and Hispanic girls, each depicting the overall view of differences between the radiologists' average bone age reading against the chronologic age for subjects of each race and sex.

On the basis of the effects of the growth factor and sexual hormones, as well as our observations in the phalangeal, carpal, and wrist joint regions ( 9-15), we divided the entire growth age ranging from 1 year to 18 years into four age subsets, as shown in . These subsets were used to study differences in growth patterns of children of different races in a given subset. Analysis of variance was used to study the cross-racial comparisons for a given subset of growth range on the basis of differences between chronologic age and bone age.

RESULTS

Radiologist Interpretation

shows the mean difference in age between the average bone age assigned by two radiologists and the chronologic age for each of the eight categories separated by race and sex. Since we collected data in children with normal skeletal development, the differences with asterisks shown in Table 2 are within 2 standard deviations between the normal chronologic age and the average bone age (see the Case Selection Criteria section) and may not be important from a clinical perspective. However, we were able to conclude that the radiologists had a slight tendency, which was statistically significant, to overestimate bone age in the Asian and Hispanic populations as a whole.

Table 2.

Cross-racial Comparisons

The cross-racial differences assessed with analysis of variance among the four races in the four divided age subsets () are presented in .

shows that in girls, significant mean differences of average reading between races were observed in the third age subset (10-13 years). Radiologists overestimated bone age in Asian girls in comparison with their African American and white peers by approximately 0.59 year and 0.70 year, respectively. Similarly, radiologists overestimated bone age by 0.58 year in Hispanic girls when compared with African American girls. shows plots of bone age versus chronologic age in Asian girls versus white girls, Asian girls versus African American girls, and Hispanic girls versus African American girls. In each comparison, the figure on the left covers the entire age range (1-18 years), whereas the figure on the right shows a close-up view of the third age subset (10-13 years).

Similar patterns were also observed in boys (). In the third age subset (11-15 years), significant overestimation of bone age of 0.97 year and 0.83 year was observed in Asian and Hispanic boys, respectively, when compared with African American boys. Overestimation of 0.65 year continued until the fourth age subset (16-18 years) when Asian boys were compared with African American boys. Furthermore, comparison of white boys with Asian and Hispanic boys in the third age subset (11-15 years) resulted in significant overreading of 0.59 year and 0.46 year, respectively. shows bone age versus chronologic age in four racial pairs: (a) Hispanic boys versus African American boys, (b) Asian boys versus African American boys, (c) Asian boys versus white boys, and (d) Hispanic boys versus white boys.

DISCUSSION

An up-to-date DHA for four ethnic groups has been developed with 1390 hand and wrist radiographs obtained in Asian, African American, white and Hispanic boys and girls with normal skeletal development aged between 1 day and 18 years. Each case was read by two pediatric radiologists working independently on the basis of the Greulich and Pyle atlas standard. The normality and consistency of the data were ensured by radiologists' readings and a rigorous quality assurance data collection protocol. Hand radiographs were digitized and stored in the DICOM format, which facilitates image viewing and transmission in the clinical environment for training and image-assisted daily clinical operation.

Previous studies, in which researchers examined the applicability of the Greulich and Pyle atlas for use in contemporary children, have been performed: Mora et al ( 7) examined 534 children of European and African descent, and Ontell et al ( 5) collected data in 765 trauma patients of four races. Both of these studies are similar to our study in that they involved use and evaluation of the Greulich and Pyle atlas in each of the racial groups. However, in neither study did the authors compare cross-racial differences. Our study differed from the aforementioned studies in that our study consisted of a robustly designed database of 1390 carefully chosen healthy subjects and we compared cross-racial growth differences.

By using the DHA, we observed differences in the readings of two pediatric radiologists in subjects of four races on the basis of the Greulich and Pyle atlas standard, and we recorded these differences systematically. Our results show the cross-racial differences between skeletal growth patterns of Asian and Hispanic children and skeletal growth patterns of white and African American children. Radiologists assigned a bone age that was relatively close to the chronologic age of African American and white children. However, bone age and chronologic age were significantly different in Asian and Hispanic children. Cross-racial differences in four age subsets indicate that Asian and Hispanic children mature earlier than African American and white children. This holds true for girls and boys, especially those aged 10-13 years and 11-15 years, respectively.

Genetic differences, diet, and nutritional intake may influence variations in the bone growth pattern. This calls into question the applicability of the Greulich and Pyle atlas as a reference for children of different races. Our results suggest that bone age assessment in children can be improved by considering the ethnic population. An institutional review board-approved clinical validation study of the usefulness of the DHA is being performed at our institution (Los Angeles County Women's and Children's Hospital, Los Angeles, Calif).

Our study had limitations that should be considered in future research. First, all subjects enrolled in this study were from the Los Angeles metropolitan area. Further studies with data collection from different geographic regions are necessary to study regional factors in skeletal development. Second, mixed ethnicity was not considered. This issue should be addressed in future studies, with a view toward comparison of skeletal development in children with mixed ethnicity with that in children of their parents' ethnicities. Third, we investigated the effect of ethnicity in only those children whose skeletal development was considered normal on the basis of the Greulich and Pyle atlas. Fourth, a subject's ethnicity is usually unavailable in daily practice. This limits future applications of the DHA in clinical practice. This issue needs to be addressed in patient care when enough attention has been brought to the racial factor in bone age assessment in children.

The DHA provides an up-to-date standard with which to classify normal bone growth and development in children. Currently, the DHA is accessible from the World Wide Web for online learning and teaching. Also, a computer-assisted bone age assessment system for use with the DHA has been developed and distributed to several international institutions ( 20) for use in a multicenter study.

A digital hand atlas (DHA) of 1390 hand-wrist radiographs obtained in Asian, African American, white, and Hispanic boys and girls with normal skeletal development has been developed to provide an up-to-date standard with which to assess growth and development and is accessible at http://www.ipilab.org/BAAweb .

Radiologists assigned a bone age that was relatively close to the chronologic age in African American and white children; however, cross-racial differences indicated that Asian and Hispanic children mature sooner than do African American and white children, especially between 10 and 13 years of age in girls and between 11 and 15 years of age in boys.

The discovery of cross-racial differences at different age ranges sheds light on the possibility that bone age assessment in children can be improved by considering a child's ethnicity, especially when accurate assessment of bone age is crucial to patient care (optimal surgical intervention in children with leg length discrepancies).

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Racial Differences in Growth Patterns of Children Assessed on the Basis of Bone Age

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To collect up-to-date data in healthy children to create a digital hand atlas (DHA) that can be used to evaluate, on the basis of the Greulich and Pyle atlas method, racial differences in skeletal growth patterns of Asian, African American, white, and ...

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I wonder if any other teen loves the phoenix suns more than I do?

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I wonder which gender reaches adulthood quicker

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Being "mature" is all in your head.

A 2013 published in Cerebral Cortex offers a scientific explanation behind the common notion that men take longer to "act their age" than women do. According to the study, it's rooted in the fact that the female brain establishes connections and "prunes" itself faster than the male brain.

"It seems that the process starts a few years after birth and continues to occur until around 40 years old," co-author Sol Lim, a graduate student at Newcastle University in the United Kingdom, told Mic.

She explained that the human brain undergoes major changes anatomically and functionally as we age, and these changes make the connections in our brain more efficient. Notably, Lim's research found that this process tends to happen at an earlier age for women than men, which may explain why some women seem to mature faster than men.

For the first few years of life, there's an "initial overabundance of neurons, connections, folding of the brain surface," Lim said. "After that, [a] 'pruning' process occurs for refinement, to make the brain network more economic and efficient." It might seem strange to think of the brain condensing as it improves rather than expanding, but that helps to explain this particular maturation effect.

The Study: The researchers recruited 121 people between the ages of 4 and 40 and used an imaging tool to estimate how different regions of the brain might be communicating, specifically looking at fiber tracts that connect brain cells to one another. Lim explained that as the fiber tracts get reorganized, the brain gets rid of some of the tracts between cells that are already close to each other, but keeps the ones that connect brain-cells that are far away (but still need a line of communication).

The science: At birth, men and women have about the same number of brain fibers. These fibers create a network that helps us to learn and develop. As we get older, the brain finds a faster way to communicate messages from one region to another. Think of it like having a face-to-face conversation with someone instead of shouting to them across a loud and crowded room. Instead of potentially losing your message in a noisy room, your message is more likely to be received correctly, in a more direct message. When the amount of fibers gets streamlined, they are relaying more focused information directly to the region of the brain they need to target.

"This selective pruning process, which we called preferential detachment, preserves core properties of the brain network that are crucial for information processing and cognitive development," said Lim.

This process seems to occur earlier in females than in males and could explain why cognitively, women tend to be ahead of the curve in terms of maturity. The brains of females are further along in the reorganization process and, for at least a few years, may be working more efficiently than a male's.

So how different are men and women? Maturity is in the brain of the beholder - but because female brains get pruned faster than males ones, it takes a little longer to show up in men.

But aside from that, understanding how our brain wires itself is key to understanding how mental illnesses and conditions develop. By uncovering our brain's pruning system, this study takes us a bit closer to that goal. It also adds to the growing body of research that looks into gender differences when it comes to the brain. Since everything in the body is connected in some way, the next step would be for scientists to connect this difference to other effects around the body.

There may never be an acceptable excuse for why men typically find more humor in their own passing of gas and burping than women, but the science points to a difference in the way our brains develop. Who can argue with that?

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Science Explains Why Women Are Faster to Mature Than Men

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Being "mature" is all in your head. A 2013 published in Cerebral Cortex offers a scientific explanation behind the common notion that men take longer to "act their age" than women do. According to the study, it's rooted in the fact that the female brain establishes connections and "prunes" itself faster than the male brain.

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I wonder why teens become antisocial and independent before reaching adulthood.

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One of your most important goals as a parent is to raise children who become independent and self-reliant people. Certainly, in early development, your children count on you. As infants, they rely on you for nourishment, cleaning, and mobility. As your children grow, they become more independent in these basic areas of living, but still depend on you for love, protection, guidance, and support. As your children reach adolescence and move toward adulthood, they become less reliant on you and gain greater independence in all aspects of their lives. This process of separation prepares your children for the demands of adulthood. But this progression toward adulthood is not inevitable and is often stymied by well-intentioned, but misguided, parents.
Contingent Children
Contingent children are dependent on others for how they feel about themselves. Some parents want to foster this dependence. These parents act on their own needs for power and use control and coercion to ensure that they remain the dominant forces in their children's lives. Contingent children can be recognized in the following ways:

Depend on others to provide them with incentive to achieve.

Depend on others for their happiness because they have no ownership of their lives and little responsibility for their own thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Reinforced with inappropriate rewards and no limits, and regardless of their behavior.

Poor decision makers because their parents hold the belief that they always know what is best and make decisions without soliciting their children's wishes.

Independent Children
Independent children differ from contingent children in several essential ways. If your children are independent, you have provided them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. You offered them the guidance to find activities that are meaningful and satisfying. You gave your children the freedom to experience life fully and learn its many important lessons. Independent children can be recognized in the following ways:

Intrinsically motivated because they are allowed to find their own reasons to achieve.

Were given the opportunity and guidance to explore achievement activities of their own choosing.

Parents use extrinsic rewards appropriately and sparingly.

Collaborative rather than a controlled relationship with their parents in which the children's ideas and wishes are solicited and considered.

Good decision makers because they were allowed to consider various options and, with the support and guidance of their parents, make their own decisions.

Parent and Children Responsibilities
At the heart of whether you will be raising a contingent or independent children is that you understand the essential responsibilities that you and they need to accept. Taylor's Law of Family Responsibilities states that if family members fulfill their own responsibilities and do not assume others', then children develop into independent people and everyone is happy.
Your Responsibilities
Your responsibilities revolve primarily around providing your children with the opportunity, means, and support to pursue their goals. The psychological means include providing love, guidance, and encouragement in their efforts. The practical means include ensuring that your children have the materials needed, proper instruction, and transportation, among other logistical concerns.
Your Children's Responsibilities
Your child's responsibilities involve doing what is necessary to maximize the opportunities that you give them. These responsibilities include giving their best effort, being responsible and disciplined, staying committed, and giving an achievement opportunity a realistic try, as well as, completing all tasks and exercises, getting the most out of instruction, being cooperative, and expressing appreciation and gratitude for others' efforts.
Types of Contingent Children
I have identified five types of contingent children. All of the them are created in similar ways. Children develop a particular contingent style depending on their temperament and that of their parents.
Pleasers
Pleasers will do everything they can to get the love and attention they crave. Pleasers may often be perceived as model children who are successful and exceptionally giving to others. Yet, in pleasing others, they often neglect their own needs and, as a result, are unfulfilled, resentful, and unhappy.
Disappointers
Disappointers are nonachievers who never live up to expectations. They are usually bright and demonstrate promise in a number of areas, for example, they often score highly on IQ and achievement tests, yet they rarely accomplish anything. Disappointers relieve the pressure they feel from their parents by simply not trying. Disappointers avoid their parents' expectations by sabotaging themselves, for example, with lack of effort or avoidance of the achievement activity, or significant problem behavior such as drug use or criminal misconduct.
Reactors
Reactors do the exact opposite of whatever their parents want them to do. Parents often interpret this behavior as independence, but in actuality, Reactors are highly dependent on their parents, in a paradoxical way. Reactors feel controlled by their parents and feel powerless to directly assert themselves against their constraints. Reactors wait to see what their parents want them to do and then they choose the course that is in direct opposition to it. This reactive behavior usually emerges in the form of nonconformist dress, poor grades, "unacceptable" peer relations, and, possibly, alcohol and drug use.
Frustrators
Frustrators, not surprisingly, cause tremendous frustration in their parents. Frustrators are not "bad kids" and they rarely getting into trouble. They do fairly well in school and in other achievement settings, yet are often viewed as underachievers who don't perform up to their ability. For example, a Frustrator might get a B+ rather than putting in a little extra effort to get an A in a class, or be named as an alternate to perform in a musical recital, or lose a tightly contested sports competition.
Rejecters
Rejecters refuse their parents' expectations, choosing a course of his own in spite of their parents' objections. Rejecters do not simply react by choosing the opposite, but rather thoroughly discard whatever their parents have to offer. Rejecters may be viewed as the most healthy and adaptive of the five kinds of contingent children because they have separated from their parents and become autonomous and self-directed people. But Rejecters pay a price for their extreme disengagement by damaging their relationships with their parents and discarding even the positive contributions their parents made.
Raise Independent Children
Independence is not something that your children can gain on their own. They have neither the perspective, experience, nor skills to develop independence separately from you. Rather, it is a gift you give your children that they will cherish and benefit from their entire lives. You can provide your child with several essential ingredients for gaining independence:

Give your children love and respect.

Show confidence in your children's capabilities.

Teach them that they have control over their lives.

Provide guidance and then give them the freedom to make their own decisions.

Teach Responsibility
One of your tasks as the parent is to teach your children about responsibility. The best way to ensure that you and your children assume the appropriate responsibilities is for each of you to know what your responsibilities are.
If you and your children have a clear understanding of what is expected of each of you, then it will be easier to stay within the confines of those responsibilities.
Make a list of what you as a parent will be doing to help your children succeed.

Then, make a list with your children of what their responsibilities should be. Next, identify other individuals who will have responsibilities (and what they are) in your children's achievement activities, such as teachers, instructors, or coaches.

There should also be consequences for not fulfilling responsibilities. The best consequences are those that remove something of importance to your children and give them the control to get it back by acting appropriately. This process provides absolute clarity to both you and your children about what your "jobs" are. It also allows for no confusion at a later point when either of you step over the line and assume the other's responsibilities or neglects their own.
Demand Accountability
Many parts of our culture send a message to children that nothing is their fault. Whether rationalizing bad behavior, looking for scapegoats on which to blame misfortune, or faulting others for their failures, children are constantly told that they do not need to be responsible for their actions. Yet, the ability of children to hold themselves accountable for their actions is a critical part of becoming independent.

The reluctance of children to take responsibility for their actions is based on their desire to protect themselves from failure. By blaming outside factors, such as other people, bad luck, or unfairness, children can safeguard their egos from harm. Yet, responsibility is to sides of the same coin. Your children can't take responsibility for their achievements and successes unless they are will to take responsibility for their mistakes and failures.
Encourage Exploration
Early in your children's lives, you need to keep them on a fairly short "leash" to ensure their safety. This care builds your child's sense of security by teaching them that they have a safe place to return to if they venture too far and that you are there to protect them when needed.

There is, however, a fine line between security and dependence. When your children have established their sense of security, you must then encourage them to explore the world beyond the safety net that you provide. This "push out of the nest" allows your children to test their own capabilities in the "real world" and to find a sense of competence, security, and independence within themselves.

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One of your most important goals as a parent is to raise children who become independent and self-reliant people. This process of separation prepares your children for the demands of adulthood. But this progression toward adulthood is not inevitable and is often stymied by well-intentioned, but misguided, parents.

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I wonder why some teens start committing crimes at such a early age.

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IOWA STATE (US) - By the time a juvenile is arrested, or referred to the juvenile court system, chances are he or she has already displayed a pattern of antisocial behavior.

Red flags are easy to recognize in the days following a tragic event like a mass shooting-but it's important to identify those early warning signs before they turn into a pattern of criminal behavior.

In some extreme cases, children as young as 5 years old are committing crimes. So when that child becomes an adult, he or she may already have a lengthy criminal record.

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"With onset in criminal careers, the first sign of that problem behavior is an indicator of how severe it will be," DeLisi says. "If you can help them, you save a ton of money and you save a lot of problems. But it's just the issue of correctly identifying them and that raises a bunch of ethical and other issues."

The connection between the onset and the severity is similar to other ways children start to develop, either positively or negatively, at an early age.

"If you have someone who is 3, or even 2, and is already reading it would suggest that the person is highly intelligent," DeLisi says. "The reason is because the emergence or the onset of the behavior is usually inversely related to what they will become. The earlier something appears the more special they are or extreme."

With criminal behavior, the onset begins with rule violations, but researchers say a juvenile's first arrest or contact with the police is the strongest indicator of future problems.

The new study published in the Journal of Criminal Justice included 252 children living in Pennsylvania juvenile detention centers. The offenders ranged in age from 14-18 and on average had committed 15 delinquent acts in the prior year.

Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder got into trouble at a younger age than other juvenile offenders without ADHD-in some cases their first contact with police happened more than a year prior to other offenders. Youth with conduct disorder were also more likely to be arrested at a younger age. But researchers urge caution on how to interpret the results.

"This by no way means that every child with ADHD or conduct disorder will become delinquent or ultimately be arrested," says Brenda Lohman, associate professor in human development and family studies. "What it does mean is that future work needs to address why some youth with ADHD or conduct disorder become delinquent and others do not.

"From a preventive standpoint, this information could then help identify support systems and intervening mechanisms for families and parents, and ultimately decrease rates of antisocial behaviors of children with ADHD or conduct disorder."

In addition to preventive measures, researchers hope to build on this study to better understand the family dynamics that can lead to mental and behavioral issues in children.

"Extensive research indicates that economic hardship has an adverse effect on the well-being of families," says Tricia Neppl, an assistant professor in human development and family studies.

Economic pressures increase the risk for emotional distress, which Neppl says can lead to harsh disciplinary practices. She is working on a study to determine if such hardships, when a child is between the ages of 3 and 5 years old, affect the child's mental health when they are 6 to 13 years old.

"The results suggest that economic adversity influences parental emotional health, marital distress, and hostile parenting which predicts child mental health disorders, such as conduct disorder and ADHD, during later childhood and early adolescence," Neppl says.

As researchers understand more about the connection with antisocial behavior, DeLisi says he expects there will be an even greater push for intervention and treatment for ADHD and conduct disorder.

"Early interventions are very successful, but they require a lot of investment on the part of people who may be the least willing or able to invest."

Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and Saint Louis University contributed to the study.
Source: Iowa State University

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Teen's criminal career can start by age 5 - Futurity

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IOWA STATE (US) - By the time a juvenile is arrested, or referred to the juvenile court system, chances are he or she has already displayed a pattern of antisocial behavior. Red flags are easy to recognize in the days following a tragic event like a mass shooting-but it's important to identify those early warning signs before they turn into a pattern of criminal behavior.

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I wonder why teens get so much acne as they begin adulthood

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If you're a teen, chances are pretty good that you have some acne. Almost 8 in 10 teens have acne, as do many adults.

Acne is so common that it's considered a normal part of puberty. But knowing that doesn't always make it easier when you're looking at a big pimple on your face in the mirror. So what is acne, and what can you do about it?

What Is Acne and What Causes It?

Acne is a condition of the skin that shows up as different types of bumps. These bumps can be blackheads, whiteheads, pimples, or cysts. Teens get acne because of the hormonal changes that come with puberty. If your parents had acne as teens, it's more likely that you will, too. The good news is that, for most people, acne goes away almost completely by the time they are out of their teens.

The type of acne that a lot of teens get is called acne vulgaris (the meaning of "vulgaris" isn't as bad as it sounds - it means "of the common type"). It usually shows up on the face, neck, shoulders, upper back, and chest.

The hair follicles, or pores, in your skin contain sebaceous glands (also called oil glands). These glands make sebum, which is an oil that lubricates your hair and skin. Most of the time, the sebaceous glands make the right amount of sebum. As the body begins to mature and develop, though, hormones stimulate the sebaceous glands to make more sebum.

Pores become clogged if there is too much sebum and too many dead skin cells. Bacteria (especially one called Propionibacterium acnes) can then get trapped inside the pores and multiply. This causes swelling and redness - the start of acne.

If a pore gets clogged up and closes but bulges out from the skin, you're left with a whitehead. If a pore gets clogged up but stays open, the top surface can darken and you're left with a blackhead. Sometimes the wall of the pore opens, allowing sebum, bacteria, and dead skin cells to make their way under the skin - and you're left with a small, red bump called a pimple (sometimes pimples have a pus-filled top from the body's reaction to the bacterial infection).

Clogged pores that open up very deep in the skin can cause nodules, which are infected lumps or cysts that are bigger than pimples and can be painful. Occasionally, large cysts that seem like acne may be boils caused by a staph infection.

What Can I Do About Acne?

To help prevent the oil buildup that can contribute to acne, wash your face once or twice a day with a mild soap and warm water. Don't scrub your face hard with a washcloth - acne can't be scrubbed away, and scrubbing may actually make it worse by irritating the skin and pores. Try cleansing your face as gently as you can.

If you wear makeup or sunscreen, make sure it's labeled "noncomedogenic" or "nonacnegenic." This means it won't clog your pores and contribute to acne. And when you're washing your face, be sure you take the time to remove all of your makeup so it doesn't clog your pores.

Acne isn't really helped by the sun. Although a tan can temporarily make acne look less severe, it won't help it go away permanently - and some people find that the oils their skin produces after being in the sun make their pimples worse.

If you use hair sprays or gels, try to keep them away from your face, as they also can clog pores. If you have long hair that touches your face, be sure to wash it often enough to keep oil away. And if you have an after-school job that puts you in contact with oil - like in a fast-food restaurant or gas station, for example - be sure to wash your face well when you get home. It also can help to wash your face after you've been exercising.

Many over-the-counter lotions and creams containing salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide are available to help prevent acne and clear it up at the same time. You can experiment with these to see which helps. Be sure to follow the instructions exactly - don't use more than you're supposed to at one time (your skin may get too dried out and feel and look worse) and follow any label directions about allergy testing.

Some people do find that they notice their breakouts get more severe when they eat too much of a certain food. If you're one of them, it's worth trying to cut back on that food to see what happens.

What if I Get Acne Anyway?

Sometimes even though they wash properly and try lotions and oil-free makeup, people get acne anyway - and this is totally normal. In fact, some girls who normally have a handle on their acne may find that it comes out a few days before they get their period. This is called premenstrual acne, and about 7 out of 10 women get it from changes in hormones in the body.

Some teens who have acne can get help from a doctor or dermatologist (a doctor who specializes in skin problems). A doctor may treat the acne with prescription medicines. Depending on the person's acne, this might mean using prescription creams that prevent pimples from forming, taking antibiotics to kill the bacteria that help create pimples, or if the acne is severe, taking stronger medicines such as isotretinoin, or even having minor surgery. Some girls find that birth control pills help to clear up their acne.

If you look in the mirror and see a pimple, don't touch it, squeeze it, or pick at it. This might be hard to do - it can be pretty tempting to try to get rid of a pimple. But when you play around with pimples, you can cause even more inflammation by popping them or opening them up. Plus, the oil from your hands can't help! More important, though, picking at pimples can leave tiny, permanent scars on your face.

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If you're a teen, chances are pretty good that you have some acne. Almost 8 in 10 teens have acne, as do many adults. Acne is so common that it's considered a normal part of puberty. But knowing that doesn't always make it easier when you're looking at a big pimple on your face in the mirror.

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i wonder if all teens enter adult hood

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By: Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP & Helen Waterman, DO

Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes-to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world.

The many physical, sexual, cognitive, social, and emotional changes that happen during this time can bring anticipation and anxiety for both children and their families. Understanding what to expect at different stages can promote healthy development throughout adolescence and into early adulthood.

Early Adolescence (Ages 10 to 13)

During this stage, children often start to grow more quickly. They also begin notice other body changes, including hair growth under the arms and near the genitals, breast development in females and enlargement of the testicles in males. They usually start a year or two earlier in girls than boys, and it can be normal for some changes to start as early as age 8 for females and age 9 for males. Many girls may start their period at around age 12, on average 2-3 years after the onset of breast development.

These body changes can inspire curiosity and anxiety in some―especially if they do not know what to expect or what is normal. Some children may also question their gender identity at this time, and the onset of puberty can be a difficult time for transgender children.

Early adolescents have concrete, black-and-white thinking. Things are either right or wrong, great or terrible, without much room in between. It is normal at this stage for young people to center their thinking on themselves (called "egocentrism"). As part of this, preteens and early teens are often self-conscious about their appearance and feel as though they are always being judged by their peers.

Pre-teens feel an increased need for privacy. They may start to explore ways of being independent from their family. In this process, they may push boundaries and may react strongly if parents or guardians reinforce limits.

Middle Adolescence (Ages 14 to 17)

Physical changes from puberty continue during middle adolescence. Most males will have started their growth spurt, and puberty-related changes continue. They may have some voice cracking, for example, as their voices lower. Some develop acne. Physical changes may be nearly complete for females, and most girls now have regular periods.

At this age, many teens become interested in romantic and sexual relationships. They may question and explore their sexual identity―which may be stressful if they do not have support from peers, family, or community. Another typical way of exploring sex and sexuality for teens of all genders is self-stimulation, also called masturbation.

Many middle adolescents have more arguments with their parents as they struggle for more independence. They may spend less time with family and more time with friends. They are very concerned about their appearance, and peer pressure may peak at this age.

The brain continues to change and mature in this stage, but there are still many differences in how a normal middle adolescent thinks compared to an adult. Much of this is because the frontal lobes are the last areas of the brain to mature―development is not complete until a person is well into their 20s! The frontal lobes play a big role in coordinating complex decision making, impulse control, and being able to consider multiple options and consequences. Middle adolescents are more able to think abstractly and consider "the big picture," but they still may lack the ability to apply it in the moment. For example, in certain situations, kids in middle adolescence may find themselves thinking things like:

"I'm doing well enough in math and I really want to see this movie... one night of skipping studying won't matter."

Do I really have to wear a condom during sex if my girlfriend takes the pill?"

"Marijuana is legal now, so it can't be that bad."

While they may be able to walk through the logic of avoiding risks outside of these situations, strong emotions often continue to drive their decisions when impulses come into play.

Late Adolescents (18-21... and beyond!)

Late adolescents generally have completed physical development and grown to their full adult height. They usually have more impulse control by now and may be better able to gauge risks and rewards accurately. In comparison to middle adolescents, youth in late adolescence might find themselves thinking:

"While I do love Paul Rudd movies, I need to study for my final."

"I should wear a condom...even though my girlfriend is on birth control, that's not 100% in preventing pregnancy."

"Even though marijuana is legal, I'm worried about how it might affect my mood and work/school performance."

Teens entering early adulthood have a stronger sense of their own individuality now and can identify their own values. They may become more focused on the future and base decisions on their hopes and ideals. Friendships and romantic relationships become more stable. They become more emotionally and physically separated from their family. However, many reestablish an "adult" relationship with their parents, considering them more an equal from whom to ask advice and discuss mature topics with, rather than an authority figure.

Parents: How To Help Your Children Navigate Adolescence

Children and their parents often struggle with changing dynamics of family relationships during adolescence. But parents are still a critical support throughout this time.

Here are some things you can do:

Help your child anticipate changes in his or her body. Learn about puberty and explain what's ahead. Reassure them that physical changes and emerging sexuality is part of normal, healthy development. Leave room for questions and allow children to ask them at their own pace. Talk to your pediatrician when needed!

Start early conversations about other important topics. Maintain open communication about healthy relationships, sex, sexuality, consent, and safety (such as how to prevent sexually transmitted infection and pregnancy, and substance use). Starting these conversations during early adolescence will help build a good framework for discussions later.

Keep conversations with your child positive. Point out strengths. Celebrate successes.

Be supportive and set clear limits with high (but reasonable) expectations. Communicate clear, reasonable expectations for curfews, school engagement, media use, and behavior, for example. At the same time, gradually expanding opportunities for more independence over time as your child takes on responsibility. Youth with parents that aim for this balance have been shown to have lower rates of depression and drug use.

Discuss risky behaviors (such as sexual activity and substance use) and their consequences. Be sure to set a positive example yourself. This can help teens consider or rehearse decision-making ahead of time and prepare for when situations arise.

Honor independence and individuality. This is all part of moving into early adulthood. Always remind your child you are there to help when needed.

The adolescent years can feel like riding a roller coaster. By maintaining positive and respectful parent-child relationships during this period, your family can (try to) enjoy the ride!

Additional Information:

About Dr. Allen:

Brittany Allen, MD, FAAP, is a board-certified general pediatrician and provides specialty care to transgender and gender nonconforming youth. She is an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health. She is a member of American Academy of Pediatrics Section on Section on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Health and Wellness and the Wisconsin Chapter.

About Dr. Waterman:

Helen Waterman, DO is a resident physician in pediatrics at the University of Wisconsin. Within the American Academy of Pediatrics, she is a member of the Section on Pediatric Trainees and the Section on Osteopathic Pediatricians.

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Adolescence is the period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It includes some big changes-to the body, and to the way a young person relates to the world. Learn about these different stages here.

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I wonder why many teens go through depression?

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Teen Depression and Anxiety: Why the Kids Are Not Alright

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Experts say teen depression is on the rise. Find out the causes of teen depression and anxiety and how parents are handling it.

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I wonder whether or not teens are more susceptible to manipulation than a younger person.

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I wonder why teens only care about their appearance and impression?

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I wonder why teenage girls decide to have kids early?

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I wonder why so many teenagers end up dropping out of High School?

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I wonder if when a teen gets pregnant, are they most likely to drop out of high school?

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I wonder when is it okay for a teens to have intercourse?

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The thought of teenagers having sex fills many parents with fears of delinquency and doom. The reasons for these fears are familiar to all of us: STDs, unwanted pregnancy, loss of innocence and heartbreak. The reality is that most teenagers have sex, but it's not that bad! Results from the following five studies on teenage sexual behaviors may help ease some of the fears gripping parents:

It's normal: Having sex as a teenager is a normal part of human development. According to a report from the Guttmacher Institute, the average age of first intercourse is around 17 years old, with approximately 70% of teenagers having had sex by age 19. Despite salacious media reports, today's teenagers are not universally having sex at a very young age. In fact, only about 13% of teens have had sex before they turned 15 years old. This is down from about 20% in 1995.

Relationships matter: Wild rainbow parties seem to be more legend than fact. More than 75% of teenage girls report their first sexual experience was with a committed, romantic partner.

Most use contraceptives: Not only are most sexually active teens in committed relationships, most are taking steps to prevent pregnancy. A high majority (87%) of teens report using contraceptives the last time they had sex. This is a dramatic increase from 1995, when only about 76.5% of teenagers reported using contraceptives. A recent statement from the Center for Disease Control reveals teen birth rates have dropped 2% between 2007 and 2008.

Social benefits: Contrary to popular belief, teens who engage in sex at an early age are not destined for a life of delinquency. A large scale study from the University of Virginia examined 534 adolescent same-sex twin pairs over seven years. By examining twins, the researchers were able to control for race and socio-economic factors. The study found that those individuals who engaged in sex at a younger age tended to have lower levels of delinquency and better social relationships in early adulthood than their peers. The researchers hypothesize that romantic relationships (involving sexual intercourse) provide teens with a sense of intimacy that protects them from engaging in delinquent acts such as vandalism, stealing and selling drugs.

It improves mood: Sex may act to alleviate teen angst. Researchers from Children's Hospital Boston and Harvard University examined adolescent mood over an extended period of time. Adolescents gauged their feelings every three hours on a hand-held computer device and a baseline was determined. The researchers found that adolescents reported a marked improvement in happiness and reduced feelings of stress and anger after sex.

For more information on adolescent sexuality, visit Siecus.org.

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Yes Your Teenager Is Having Sex...But It's Not That Bad

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The thought of teenagers having sex fills many parents with fears of delinquency and doom. The reasons for these fears are familiar to all of us: STDs, unwanted pregnancy, loss of innocence and heartbreak. The reality is that most teenagers have sex, but it's not that bad!

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I wonder why teens change as they reach adulthood.

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The Teenage Brain-- Why Do Teenagers Think Differently than Adults?

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Recent studies of teenage brains show they are still very plastic

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I wonder why this generation of teens are taking longer to become adults

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I wonder how many teens are suicidal in the United States.

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I wonder why teens post their feelings on social media but don't like to talk about it.

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Teen Depression and Anxiety: Why the Kids Are Not Alright

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Experts say teen depression is on the rise. Find out the causes of teen depression and anxiety and how parents are handling it.

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I wonder if teenagers are the most mature?

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Some things never change: the time-honoured mantra "You may turn over your paper and begin writing" still heralds the moment when you realise that not a single one of the topics you revised appears in the exam. But other aspects of being a student have altered beyond recognition. Back in the far-off dark ages when I did my first degree, libraries closed at 5pm and you had to book computer time in advance, and hand-write your essays.

Some technological advances could have been tailor-made for mature students, who are more than likely to have other claims on their time. Computer rooms are accessible 24/7; the library (should you ever need to physically go there) is likely to be open late.

No wonder, then, that the number of mature students (officially classified as over-21s) is steadily rising, according to Ucas figures. In 2009, there were nearly 92,000 mature UK university applicants, compared with just under 79,000 in 2008; the number of 21- to 24-year-olds rose by over 15%, and the number of over-25s rose by over 17% from 2008.

Becoming a mature student is not an easy option; it's a big commitment. But those of us who take the plunge find it satisfying as well - and are likely to find ourselves wondering why we didn't do it earlier.

Andrew Phillips, 36
MB BCH medicine (graduate entry), Swansea University
I heard something on the news about the government allowing four-year medicine courses for mature students, which started a candle burning in my mind that just wouldn't go away, so I applied. It's tough to get on the course; you have to sit a whole-day exam called Gamsat. This is a full-time commitment. I am just coming to the end of the first year; every lecture has been fascinating. You're immersed clinically from the start; you go and see A&E, you sit in on GP consultations, you do drug rounds in prison and go out with paramedics on a Friday night. The doctors help you: there's a realisation that people who are doing their second degree are serious and conscientious. I feel very privileged.

The ups and downs: My commute is a three-hour round trip, and when I get home I have to be extremely organised with my time. My boys are six and two, and I never shut the door and say that I have to work; they aren't old enough to understand that.

Natalie Hearn, 27
BA criminology, Nottingham Trent University
When I was at school, university seemed like a mythical place where rich people went; coming here has lived up to my expectations, but I've also found it a struggle, as I have a six-year-old child. When I had my daughter, I took a nine-to-five job at the Inland Revenue, but I got stuck at a certain level because I didn't have a degree. I really feel I am getting an education now and feeling the benefit. I would love to go on to do a master's, though financially I don't think it will be an option. I would like to work in the community so I can feel I'm making a difference.

The ups and downs: Childcare is always an issue for mature students. We don't get our timetables until the week before we start, and by then the childcare places are pretty much gone.

Gillian Royal, 50
BA applied art, Coventry University
About five years ago, I took redundancy from my job. I'd always had this niggling problem with not having a degree; I always felt I'd missed out. I took one of my hobbies, textiles and embroidery, and decided to see how far I could go with it.

In both my first and second years, I was awarded a scholarship for high achievers, and I've just graduated with first-class honours. At Christmas, I applied for sponsorship through the Institute of Applied Entrepreneurship. I've been making felt vessels that look like ceramics and I'm going to try to sell them. I've got a website, pantoufles.co.uk, and business cards; it's very exciting.

The ups and downs: I was worried that my lack of good English would hold me back. But there's a centre for academic writing at Coventry and I'm sure other unis have similar set-ups. You go along with your essay, and they guide you through it.

Andrew Blaney, 38
MA English, Dundee University
I got into university via a summer school access course. I had got divorced, the children stayed with me, I'd had enough of my job, and I had to do something. I met a woman who gave me the inspiration to go to university. I have really enjoyed the course, and had some surprises. I got a 2.1 and am very happy with my results; I can't express the sense of achievement I feel. I would tell anyone thinking about becoming a mature student to go for it.

The ups and downs: I qualified for tax credits and a student loan, but I also worked part-time. I had to make sure any preparation was done ahead, and plan my time.

Julie Stephenson, 36
MSci chemistry, Bristol University
I went into IT after school. A lot of what I used to do has been outsourced abroad and I wasn't happy in my job. I had few reservations about coming back to university. I had been once already and knew what to expect; it's been a breath of fresh air to be doing something challenging again. I've done four years out of five and I would love to stay in academia and research.

The ups and downs: My mother has been quite ill so I haven't had the chance to revise for exams. My department has deferred my final year until 2010.

Michelle Williams, 35
BA Retail buying and fashion, De Montfort University
I was accepted on to a university course years ago, after doing a BTec in fashion design, but all my kids were pre-school and I just couldn't go. I've now just finished my first year and have two to go. I was geared up for a hard slog, but in fact I have found the workload pretty easy to handle. I've been self-employed, so I'm used to working more than 40 hours a week. I'd like to work as a buyer for a company like M&S or Monsoon. I think doing a degree now, rather than as a teenager, means I appreciate it more.

The ups and downs: I've had health issues and my biggest challenge has been managing my health around the timetable. When I missed a lesson because I was in hospital, the tutors were really sympathetic, and I didn't fall behind.

10 tips for the mature fresher

1 DO remember that relevant skills come in all sorts of guises; simply being able to get up early will be a surprisingly big help

2 DO prepare to become a time-management freak; any spare minute becomes valuable

3 DO make your computer your new best friend; if you're technologically sorted, you may never have to set foot in the library and you'll be able to work at 6am or midnight, whichever is more convenient

4 DO make friends with key departmental staff; they are likely to be lovely people and incredibly helpful in all kinds of ways

5 DO take advantage of the support systems on offer if you need to; your university wants you to succeed, and suffering in silence is not brave, it's just daft

6 DON'T underestimate the importance of going to lectures, despite the advances in online learning; they are a vital part of the course

7 DON'T leave anything until the final hours, whether it's coursework or revision; you are more likely than the teenagers to have a last-minute drain on your time

8 DON'T miss out on taking advantage of everything university can offer; when else will you have the chance to try hang-gliding or bellringing, or learn Japanese at knock-down rates?

9 DON'T be fooled by the youngsters' apparently insouciant attitude to deadlines; they'll be sweating as much as you when the key dates start looming

10 DON'T panic. Once you're over the first week of the first term, you're well on your way

* Hester Lacey is about to start her third year at Bristol University, studying psychology

What the experts say

The work: Imogen Aust, senior lecturer in craft and applied arts course director, Coventry University.
"Having to write something for the first time in a while can be daunting. But mature students usually realise quickly that they can do it, and they have really interesting things to say."

Childcare: Kathryn Frith, student support officer, Nottingham Trent University.
"Students with caring responsibilities can find late availability of timetables and timetable changes challenging. I advise students in this situation to establish contact with key course admin/academic staff." They should ensure that these staff are aware that they have caring responsibilities and need to be informed about timetables at the earliest possible point. Don't be afraid to ask more than once if you don't get all the information you need first time.

Coping with problems: Betsy Bowerman, mature students' adviser, Bristol University.
"Universities are aware that many mature students have family commitments, but you need to tell them from the start of the course and also alert them to any changes in your circumstances that may affect your studies so that they can better support you."
Topics

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Mature students: big commitment, big rewards

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Some things never change: the time-honoured mantra "You may turn over your paper and begin writing" still heralds the moment when you realise that not a single one of the topics you revised appears in the exam. But other aspects of being a student have altered beyond recognition.

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I wonder how many teens have gotten pregnant at the ages of 15-19?

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I wonder what would be the right age for teens to start dating.

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As tweens become teens and Facebook links replace friendship bracelets, dating ensues, leaving many parents wondering, what's the best age for teens to begin coupling up?
STORY: Should You Make Your Child Stop Sucking His Thumb? The Great Debate
What the research says
The answer depends on a variety of factors, including personality and maturity level. It's obvious a lot has changed among teens in recent years. For one, group dating is more popular than ever (not to be confused with double dating, this is when girls and boys hang out en masse, usually at a mall or a restaurant). As a result, fewer boys are actually asking girls out on one-on-one dates. All but gone are the days when an invite to a movie came by way of a phone call or a shy, in-person meeting. These days girls and boys are more likely to ask each other out via text or direct messages on social media. But while the culture of teen dating has evolved, has the age at which it starts changed, and when exactly is the best time?
STORY: When Is Your Kid Old Enough to Babysit? The Great Debate

On average, kids begin group dating at 12-and-a-half for girls and 13-and-a-half for boys, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. By the time they hit 15, most begin pairing up.

There's a stark difference between early daters and those who wait until they're old enough for a learner's permit. Boys and girls who start dating between the ages of 11-and-a-half and 13 may experience more academic and behavioral problems than their peers, according to a study published in the Journal of Adolescence. Their lack of maturity leaves them ill-prepared to handle some of the common emotions and issues that couples face, and without many peers going through similar experiences, they're left to figure things out for themselves. Researchers also cited an increase in the risk of unsafe sex, alcohol use, and more, according to the Wall Street Journal. The majority of teens studied didn't begin dating until about age 13, and the so-called late bloomers were around 15. Neither of these latter groups appeared to experience any major social or emotional difficulties.

It's worth noting that plenty of teens aren't just dating, they're already having sex: A CDC study found that about 43 percent of teenage girls and 42 percent of teenage boys had had sexual intercourse at least once.

Most recommend 15 and 16 as the ideal ages to begin dating. For Ron Eagar, a pediatrician at Denver Health Medical Center, the magic number is 16. "There's an enormous difference between a fourteen- or fifteen-year-old and a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old in terms of life experience," he told HealthyChildren.org, the website for the AAP.

"Sixteen - and even a bit older - is a good age for dating, provided that the teen is mature," Leslie Beth Wish, a psychologist and clinical social worker, told SheKnows. "Maturity can be measured by willingness to participate sufficiently in household chores, treating others with respect, getting good grades, and managing emotions.'"
What the parents say
The important thing is not to make children feel bad about their feelings, even if you think they're too young to have them. "Parents should never minimize or ridicule a first love," Dr. George Comerci, a Tucson pediatrician, told HealthyChildren.org. "It is a very important relationship to teenagers, and it's important for another reason, in that it is their first intimate relationship with someone outside their family."

Some experts warn against waiting too long to allow kids to date. Donna Thomas-Rodgers, PhD, suggests allowing teens to go to group dances and supervised events at 14, on group dates at 15, and on individual dates at 16. "When teens start at 15 years old with actual group dating, you can support the child's dating choices and supervise their decisions," Thomas-Rodgers told SheKnows.

"I think it would depend on the maturity level. I was raised that a girl does not go out with a boy unless she has a chaperone. Being the sneaky teenager that I was, I paid my brother to scram!" - Erica Diaz, Chino, California.

"Forget about it. You will have absolutely no control over the situation." - Stephanie Wood, New York City.

"Seventeen because at that age they're old enough to make their decisions and transitioning from junior to senior high." - Maritz S., Miami, Florida.
The bottom line
"Sixteen. I'm not driving you on a date." - Carina H. Wytiaz, Provo, Utah.

"Twenty-five." - Robert Hearn, Orlando, Florida.

It's perfectly natural to wonder if your child is ready to begin dating. After all, it probably seems like just yesterday you were buying action figures and setting up tea parties. No one knows your child better than you, so consider his or her maturity level, and perhaps ask the opinions of parents of teens whom you respect. So long as kids' grades aren't suffering and nothing else is falling by the wayside, let them progress from friendships to dating at their own pace. And whatever you do, don't overthink it. The vast majority of first loves never make it past high school. Just keep an eye on your teens, and let them know they can come to you if they need you.

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What's the Right Age for Teens to Start Dating? The Great Debate

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The Great Debate The answer depends on a variety of factors, including personality and maturity level. For one, group dating is more popular than ever (not to be confused with double dating, this is when girls and boys hang out en masse, usually at a mall or a restaurant).

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I wonder if being a teenager is the hardest stage of life.

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Why are the teenage years the hardest in a persons life?Please explain. | eNotes

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Get an answer for 'Why are the teenage years the hardest in a persons life?Please explain.' and find homework help for other Social Sciences questions at eNotes

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I wonder why teens have trouble talking about their emotions.

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As a teenager, you may be dealing with lots of emotional highs & lows. One minute you might feel great, the next you feel sad & tearful.

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I wonder why teens start getting into drugs.

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Why do adolescents take drugs? | National Institute on Drug Abuse

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Adolescents experiment with drugs or continue taking them for several reasons, including:

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I wonder how teens know when they have become an adult.

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There is an array of opinions as to when a person fully matures. Should the legal age of adulthood be lowered or raised? At what age do you think you are grown? Is it fair that people can serve in the military and vote at 18, but not buy alcohol until they are 21?
Seven experts expressed their beliefs on the topic in the Room for Debate piece " When Do Kids Become Adults? "

Neuroscientists now know that brain maturation continues far later into development than had been believed previously. Significant changes in brain anatomy and activity are still taking place during young adulthood, especially in prefrontal regions that are important for planning ahead, anticipating the future consequences of one's decisions, controlling impulses, and comparing risk and reward. Indeed, some brain regions and systems do not reach full maturity until the early or mid-20s. Should this new knowledge prompt us to rethink where we draw legal boundaries between minors and adults?

Maybe, but it's not as straightforward as it seems, for at least two reasons. First, different brain regions and systems mature along different timetables. There is no single age at which the adolescent brain becomes an adult brain. Systems responsible for logical reasoning mature by the time people are 16, but those involved in self-regulation are still developing in young adulthood. This is why 16-year-olds are just as competent as adults when it comes to granting informed medical consent, but still immature in ways that diminish their criminal responsibility, as the Supreme Court has noted in several recent cases. Using different ages for different legal boundaries seems odd, but it would make neuroscientific sense if we did it rationally.

Second, science has never had much of an influence on these sorts of decisions. If it did, we wouldn't have ended up with a society that permits teenagers to drive before they can see R-rated movies on their own, or go to war before they can buy beer. Surely the maturity required to operate a car or face combat exceeds that required to handle sexy movies or drinking. Age boundaries are drawn for mainly political reasons, not scientific ones. It's unlikely that brain science will have much of an impact on these thresholds, no matter what the science says.

... Children are so variable in their growth and the ways in which cultures understand child development are so different, it is futile to attempt to pin down the "right" age of majority. The Dutch, for example, allow children to drink at the age of 16 but not to drive until they are 19. Even if I thought it was a good idea to lower the drinking age and raise the driving age - and I do - I recognize that the U.S. would never embrace it.

We should require all 18-year-olds in America to leave home and give a year to society, either in the military or in community-based projects.

I am more concerned with the issue of maturity than I am with the technical age of majority. Researchers and observers have noted that while our children are getting brighter (I.Q. scores have been going up for the last two decades), they are relatively immature for their ages in comparison to earlier generations. Over-protected by their parents and spending vast amounts of time in front of TV, computers and cellphones (over 50 hours a week by middle adolescence, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation), they are less skilled in the world, less able to build friendships and function in groups, and more reliant on their parents. Instead of fiddling with the age of majority, we should encourage our children to grow up, and mandatory service would do just that. We should require all 18-year-olds in America to leave home and give a year to society, either in the military or in community-based projects like tutoring younger children or working in retirement homes or the inner city. The result would be a cohort of more mature 19-year-olds who would make better workers and better citizens.

Students: Tell us when you feel people should have the rights and responsibilities of legal adults. Do you think mandatory service of some kind is a good idea? Do you consider yourself mature, or adult, right now? Do you think there is a certain age at which people should be considered adults, or is the whole idea flawed? Do you think the age of majority should be based more on brain science than on politics?

Students 13 and older are invited to comment below. Please use only your first name. For privacy policy reasons, we will not publish student comments that include a last name.

Teachers: We have a lesson plan related to this topic, "Acting Your Age: Considering the Age of Responsibility."

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There is an array of opinions as to when a person fully matures. Should the legal age of adulthood be lowered or raised? At what age do you think you are grown? Is it fair that people can serve in the military and vote at 18, but not buy alcohol until they are 21?

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I wonder why teens follow trends

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A simple fashion trend can change a teenager's attitude in many ways. A positive effect of fashion is when teens feel more socially acceptable and confident in their approach due to the way they look. Even though clothes are powerless on their own, they represent symbols that have strong influence. For instance, females who wear high heels are known to feel more independent with a higher self-esteem. Fashion can also help teenagers identify their personalities by finding groups of other teens who share the same taste.

On the other hand, there are negatives to fashion, such as when teenagers go to extreme lengths to attract attention with their clothes. Due to society and peer pressure, teen girls can be inclined to wear revealing clothing and act inappropriately for their age. Some teenagers become victims of depression in their quest to keep up with the current fashion habits. Instead of being creative and original, they end up copying others in a desire to fit in.
Learn more about Teenagers

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How Does Fashion Affect the Lives of Teenagers?

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A simple fashion trend can change a teenager's attitude in many ways. A positive effect of fashion is when teens feel more socially acceptable and confident in their approach due to the way they look. Even though clothes are powerless on their own, they represent symbols that have strong influence.

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I wonder if teens are scared of approaching adulthood?

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I wonder how many teens are suicidal or depressed... 

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I wonder how many teens are suicidal or depressed... 

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I wonder whats the average age for teens to want kids?

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Editor's note: This story was published in January 2014.

But Rome-based photographer Stephanie Gengotti knows several young mothers who, despite financial and social challenges, intentionally started their families early.

"They are totally, totally happy with their choices," Gengotti said. "And they are really good mothers, too. They can cope with it really, really easy, and it's like they were born to do it."

In a project called "9 Months," Gengotti spent nearly two years with adolescents in Naples, Italy, as they went through pregnancy and early motherhood. She slept in their homes, helped out with the children and developed strong relationships with families so that she could tell their stories from an insider's perspective.

Gengotti said she read up on the subject beforehand and found that the city of Naples has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Italy. So she decided to go to a "consultorio" there - a place where pregnant girls can find social assistance - and meet some of them.

A doctor introduced her to five expecting mothers.

Two of them were sisters who became pregnant one month apart: Angela at 17 and Virna at 14. Virna's pregnancy was accidental, but she had known her boyfriend since age 11. The other four deliberately became mothers.

"One of the girls, she said: 'We are in 2010, and of course I knew what a contraceptive was. But I decided I wanted a child,' " Gengotti said.

The girls Gengotti studied tended to come from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, but they didn't receive financial help from the government for being mothers, she said. The government would only offer assistance if the fathers didn't accept the children, but in these cases, they did, she said.

Many of the girls live with their parents while raising their babies, and they have fiances who have stayed with them, too. Some of the girls and their boyfriends cannot support themselves and their babies alone, but their families are supportive.

Mothers of the pregnant girls tended to be very young themselves - in their late 30s - and also had children as teenagers. And the new moms tended to come from large families, with many siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, so they were accustomed to looking after children.

Virna kept going to school while pregnant. She finished her education and now works at a beauty salon. Angela also continued studying, and she is a secretary for a lawyer.

The young mothers in Gengotti's project "all look forward to a new phase of life, and behind their windows, silent and hidden, we wonder whether it's irresponsibility or courage," Gengotti writes on her website.

Her project has not been published in Italy; she thinks this is because of the influence of Catholicism in her country. One prospective interviewer told her she couldn't talk about contraceptives. Teen pregnancy is not talked about much in the news, she said.

"Nobody knows about what is going on," Gengotti said.

The project has been life-changing for Gengotti. Before, she was afraid to have a child of her own. Part of her hesitation was that she is focused on her career, and she thought she would not be hired as much to take photos if she were taking care of a child.

But after becoming so close to these mothers, she decided she wanted to become one, too, at age 40. She now has a 3-month-old son, Elias, and is continuing photography. She is also still in touch with the young mothers and will see them every six months.

"I think that when you tell a story or do a project, it's because in a way you have to solve something within yourself. Because it has something to do with your personality," she said. "Maybe I decided to do it because I was so scared about becoming a mother."

Stephanie Gengotti is a photographer based in Rome, Italy.

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Editor's note: This story was published in January 2014. But Rome-based photographer Stephanie Gengotti knows several young mothers who, despite financial and social challenges, intentionally started their families early. "They are totally, totally happy with their choices," Gengotti said. "And they are really good mothers, too.

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I wonder if teens feel like they have more academic pressure

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Many are lauding academia's stated wish to ease pressure on youngsters who feel they must earn near-perfect test scores to attain a bright future.

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The elites of higher education now seem on the same page with a broad swath of Americans concerned about a generation driven to achieve.

They're saying: Our cultural quest to construct super-accomplished, résumé-armed, Ivy League-bound teens is doing this nation no good and perhaps damaging millions of its kids.

Some students have mixed feelings about that assessment.

Many are lauding academia's stated wish to ease pressure on youngsters who feel they must earn near-perfect test scores to attain a bright future. Others wonder how colleges can measure the attributes they say they're seeking - "character," "passion" and such.

From Harvard University came a report last month that framed new criteria for the most selective colleges to consider when weighing the types of applicants they should select.

Look for "caring" and "ethical." Rank the quality of their achievements over the quantity. Enroll young people focused on pursuing a genuine passion rather than just those determined to compile a list of far-flung activities.

Consider less decorated high-schoolers who have committed time to a sick relative or juggled jobs to help their families. Fixate less on those spending their formative years consumed by a perceived need to massage college entrance test marks or amass extracurricular endeavors, the report advised.

The findings and recommendations of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, titled "Turning the Tide," drew the endorsement of more than 50 U.S. colleges and universities, prep schools, mental health groups and think tanks.

It also stirred skepticism among critics of the college admissions process.

"Giving students a high-minded outline for becoming better applicants doesn't change the underlying problem," wrote Sara Harberson, founder of a website called Admissions Revolution, in The Huffington Post. "Institutional biases continue to corrupt a process that should be pure and noble."

And what's the thinking of students indoctrinated in a culture of Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate courses, test preparation and ferocious competition to be noticed by the prestige institutions?

This gentler, passion-fed approach sounds good, say top high school seniors who have been through the enrollment wringer.

In fact, admissions counselors they visited at plum universities along the way had already urged them to "be yourself, pursue your passion, don't just pad your résumés."

In this kind of race, it's hard to ease off the gas pedal."

But it's hard to trust them. In this kind of race, it's hard to ease off the gas pedal.

"You don't really know what's in their heads," Blue Valley Northwest High School (Overland Park, Kan.) senior Suruchi Ramanujan says about those deciders of who gets in and who doesn't.

"Yeah, sure," says classmate Claudia Chen. "'Be yourself' - as long as your self likes this and this and this and this."

They laugh about it now. They feel lucky. Ramanujan has been accepted to Harvard and Chen to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. And they made it while being themselves, mostly.

They both, however, added AP history to their class schedules on top of all their high-level math and science, though their enthusiasm for history was, well, scant.

More balanced, less frazzled

In recent years, college admissions directors nationwide have joined a growing chorus calling for "holistic" evaluations of applicants, especially at the most pricey and ultraselective schools.

Hundreds of colleges have made optional the submission of ACT and SAT college entrance exam scores. Many now require that applicants write personal essays to reveal what their GPAs do not.

Searching for more balanced and less frazzled college prospects isn't an entirely new mission among elite schools. But Harvard's critique, coming during the season when applications spike, signals that admissions offices are serious about leveling the playing field between manic achievers and the best of the rest, says Stuart Schmill, dean of admissions at MIT.

"There's become a bit of a mismatch between what we really expect out of students and what they think we expect," says Schmill, one of the report's dozens of endorsers.

"The academics still need to be strong," he says, but many high school students might boost their chances by drilling into a favorite field of study rather than spreading themselves thin with a multitude of honors courses and activities.

But wait - weren't we all told something different?

What happened to the litany about top grades, school involvement and nose-to-the-homework being so critical to youth success and a prosperous career?

"If you're asking if colleges and educators bear some responsibility for this dysfunctional system we've got, oh yeah, I completely agree," says Michael Beseda, vice president for enrollment at Willamette University, another endorser of the Harvard report.

The dysfunction to which he refers has allowed privileged kids with the best resources to pack the halls of exclusive institutions. Rather than narrowing the gap between the haves and have-nots, "higher education has become an engine of greater inequality," Beseda says.

Super-selective schools have come under the harshest criticism - not only for steering the luckiest youths into the best-paying jobs, but also for promoting achievement and hoop-jumping over contentment and kindness.

The 2014 book "Excellent Sheep," by former Yale University professor William Deresiewicz, skewered the Ivy League with accounts of students battling depression, eating disorders and thoughts of suicide.

David Cantwell, a counselor at Kansas City's public Lincoln College Preparatory Academy, says Harvard's assessment and the tide of endorsements reflect worries about a generation that elite schools helped create.

I think they've discovered a void in the quality of the population they've attracted, being so test-centered." - David Cantwell, academic counselor

"I think they've discovered a void in the quality of the population they've attracted, being so test-centered," he says.

What students see

Some students do see wisdom in the idea.

By casting a wider net to snare the right freshmen, prestigious schools might lift those who don't have all of the resources for extra tutoring and test-prep books, some say.

David Lietjauw, a senior at Olathe (Kan.) North High School, knows the strain of limited family resources as he tries to take his engineering dreams to Rice University, or Washington University, or maybe Princeton.

"You hear about how you can pay someone to write your essays or get them edited," he says.

And when he worried about his prep for the ACT, his mother suggested they could hire a tutor. "But we looked on the Internet and, yeah, we couldn't afford a tutor."

So he loaded up with library books. And he spent much of his family's vacation last year slipping into hotel lobbies with his laptop, writing and polishing essay after essay.

"That some may have the money - for editors and tutors - creating more of a divide," he says. "It feels like it's rigged."

Even as it goes now, at universities where the successful enrollments can be as low as 5 percent of all applicants, the odds seem as much outlandish as arbitrary, students say.

Rockhurst (Kan.) High School senior Daniel Henry considers himself fortunate, having been accepted at Stanford University. But he thinks of a close friend who missed out on getting into his choice university.

"He is the hardest worker, the most selfless person you'd ever meet," Henry says, but when it came to his college application, "I think he was too humble."

"It's tough," Henry says. "Admission is a crapshoot. You're competing with an immense group of people."

The anxiety is not going to go away, regardless of whatever changes elite universities make to their admission process, says Olathe North senior Disha Dasgupta.

Managing the kind of stress she endured in gaining acceptance to the California Institute of Technology will still weigh on students.

"The intensity is as much as you make it," she says. "You can keep putting things on your transcript, but you can never predict what colleges want."

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Do teens face too much academic pressure? | Provided by Advertising Publications

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Many are lauding academia's stated wish to ease pressure on youngsters who feel they must earn near-perfect test scores to attain a bright future. Share story The elites of higher education now seem on the same page with a broad swath of Americans concerned about a generation driven to achieve.

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What do teens think about sex?

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Sex, Etc. | Sex education by teens, for teens

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Sex, Etc. Sex education by teens, for teens. Info on birth control, condoms, HIV/AIDS & STDs, pregnancy and more. Sex, Etc. is published by Answer.

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Wonder why teens try to be adults so quickly.

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I wonder what advice adults would give to a teen in this  "messed up" generation.

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If you are more fortunate than others, it's better to build a longer table than a taller fence.

A lot of people can get away with not studying in high school.

Way less people can get away with not studying in college.

Very few people truly know exactly what they're doing. There's no set age to have it all figured out. Most of us are just making it up as we go along.

There is no greater indicator of poverty and poor financial decisions than custom wheels on your car.

In high school people will praise you a lot if you are gifted. After high school people only give a shit about you if you work hard.

Don't be lazy. Being talented doesn't mean shit if you aren't willing to work your ass off.

You're not entitled to anything.

There is no such thing as "the real world" and frankly, I have yet to meet an adult. Everyone pretends that somewhere between 18 and 25, we all grow up, learn how to do things and act like functional normal people. That is all bullcrap. No one knows what they are doing, we are all bumbling around making fools of ourselves and there is also no such thing as normal. You will find that the struggles you thought you would leave behind in high school follow you everywhere, all that changes are the stakes. Instead of gossiping about who kissed who, you gossip about who divorced who. Instead of the popular kids being determined by athletic ability, it's determined by money and power. Instead of trying to impress a teacher to get a good grade, you are trying to impress a boss to be able to put food on the table. All the while, you put on a front trying to act cool, calm and collected and wondering why the hell you are the only one who doesn't have their shit together. What teenagers need to know is that you will never have your shit together and that's okay so stop trying to grow up and find this magical real world and just enjoy the good things and try to be a good person regardless of age.

Learn to cook. Save yourself some money.

Things cost money. I know this sounds stupid but it's true. You will spend a little here and there and then suddenly you realize you are down a lot of money.

Imagine your most boring class. The class with the most pointless busy work. The class with the teacher who makes you want to stab a pencil through your eye.

Now imagine you are in that class all day. Monday to Friday. All year. No summer vacation. No spring break. Just that one dull terrible soul-destroying class. For the rest of your life.

That's what it's like to work a job you hate

Don't do illegal things because jail sucks really bad.

Always keep track of how much toilet paper you have. Also, buy a plunger before you need one.

As a young child, you think adults know everything. When you're a teenager, you think you know everything. When you're an adult, you realize that neither you nor anyone else knows anything.

No matter how hard it gets, the majority of the time it's best to try and be good to another person, even if they don't deserve it.

The vast majority of your current cares don't matter.

I know you might not want to care about your appearance, but it does matter. It can be quite frustrating, but looking and dressing good opens a lot of doors.

"Kill 'em with kindness."

That was said to me when i first started working for a retail store. I always thought it was the pussy way out. The trick is to be able to stand your ground while being completely respectful and confident of yourself.

Plenty of people you think are cool right now will grow up to be losers.

Also, as an adult, no one has ever asked me what my gpa was.

Debt will make you not want to live anymore.

I wish someone really reinforced into my head before I chose colleges. The difference between a "brand name" school and a good state school is negligible. The difference in price is worth decades of debt.

That anything is a dildo if you are brave enough.

Don't delude yourself in any job you might do, because:
YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE EXPENDABLE.
With very, very, few people being an exception to this.

21. Here's some advice within an advice in an article about advice

I'll repeat something I've heard before from an attorney that I think puts this very well and is superb advice:

"Don't fight with cops, not in the street. You will lose and it will hurt. The way you fight the cops and win is in court with a lawyer. No, it doesn't matter if you're right or not, it doesn't matter if you weren't breaking the law or they were, it doesn't matter. If you're about to be gravely injured or killed then, and only then, should you even think about it, then it's self-defense (you might still lose in court but it's better than being dead or paralyzed). Otherwise don't ever fight the cops unless it's in court, with a lawyer. That's how you fight them and (maybe) win."

1. Learn Cost Benefit Analysis and use it as much as you can. Some battles aren't worth fighting, even if you're "right." Learn which things are worth the time and effort and which things should be let go. You'll find that most battles people fight are a giant waste of time, money and energy. Make sure you have a goal worth pursuing.

2. Learn empathy. You don't know what makes people act the way they do. If you try to put yourself in someone else's shoes, you might find yourself acting a bit more compassionately. While you're at it, try being kinder to people. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't take every slight against you so personally. Don't take yourself so seriously-no else does.

3. Learn to manage money. Learn to save, even if it's a little bit at a time. You don't have to immediately spend every cent you have. If you can start to put aside a few dollars on a regular interval now, you have a much easier time later in life. Many hardships in life are due to people not being able to manage money effectively. While you're at it, learn how to use debt effectively. It can be an asset or a liability.

4. Learn to reevaluate and admit when you're wrong. It's never too late to retreat from an incorrect path. Don't waste your time doing the wrong thing.

5. Avoid drama and toxic people. There's plenty of naturally occurring misery, there's no need to add more. Learn to de-escalate situations. Also, learn the difference between an inconvenience and an emergency and respond accordingly. (Hint: emergencies involve a hospital, jail or morgue. Everything else is an inconvenience.) Don't overreact.

6. Don't lose yourself trying to impress others. The people you try to impress in high school won't remember your name the day after graduation. Don't take it personally, you probably won't remember their names either.

7. You are the average of the people you choose to surround yourself with. Choose wisely and you'll excel. Choose poorly and you'll fail.

8. Appreciate what you have, even if it's not everything you want. Even on your worst day, there are billions of people who would give everything they've ever had in order to trade places with you on your "worst day."

9. Attitude is everything. You can be negative or positive about almost anything.

10. It's okay to party and have fun, but don't make that your only reason for living. Don't squander your education. It's one of the only things someone can't take from you.

23. This is from me

Don't complain about free service.

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23 Adults Share Their Wise Words Of Advice For The Younger Generation

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If you are more fortunate than others, it's better to build a longer table than a taller fence. A lot of people can get away with not studying in high school. Way less people can get away with not studying in college. Very few people truly know exactly what they're doing.

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I wonder why teens have the habit to talk back to their parents without a reason.

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I wonder if teens have rage anger issues ?

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I wonder why teen don't find something they are passionate about and do that during they turn into a adult so they know what they want to do in the future

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How and Why Teens Should Discover Their Passion

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A passion. That seems to be a buzz word nowadays, but believe it or not, it could be a great thing for your teenager. Typically, when people talk about someone having a passion, they are describing someone who loves what they do and are good at it.

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I wonder why teens are always trying to act like adults  are treated like children.

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Pro

The teenage years are incredibly tough, responsibility wise. Although we may not have large responsibilities (such as mortgage or financial strife) we have others.

Teenagers are expected to plan, and begin to put in place our future career goals. We are expected to know our future aspirations, and goals. The education system puts a multitude of pressure on this, paving our way to a future prestigious career. Teenagers are expected to do well academically, and although we are treated like children (chastised into doing said homework) we are expected to act maturely. Teenagers are also expected to begin working within careers (like an adult would do) and become more financially independent.

Teenagers are also expected to do more chores around the house- whilst balancing these other things. Whilst some teenagers might have few chores, some have an exuberant amount such as cooking dinner for the family, cleaning the house and taking care of siblings/animals. For this, we are still treated like small children- not allowed to have a proper social life and/or any independent belongings (not allowed to have a car in fear of independence).

Con

I understand what you are saying. I am now an adult, but I remember being a teenager and now I often work with teenagers. Our culture has created this pressure to map your life out from a young age. Try to remember that this pressure, while it feels very real, is deceptive. While a plan of some kind is good, plans can and do change. The overwhelming majority of people either change their career path after high school or choose a second career later in life. Try to relax a little. Make a plan, but recognize that it is not set in stone.

Yes, teenagers are chastised for not doing homework. Teachers and parents are right to expect teenagers to do the work. However, they are also recognize that teenagers are not adults and don"t treat them like adults. A teenagers would be chastised for not doing homework. An adult would not be chastised for not doing work. An adult would simply be fired.

Also, while some teenagers do believe that they have more chores around the house than their parents, I have never once come across a case where this is actually true. Teenagers rarely recognize just how much work their parents do

Teenagers do not have the same amount of freedom as adults because they do not have the same amount of responsibility as adults. This is as it should be. Minors need that cushion to make mistakes as they learn and grow. It is the responsibility of adults to make sure that those mistakes have as limited of consequences as possible. Try not to take for granted how much the adults in your life sacrifice for you good.

Seriously. If you are teenager living with one or both of your parents then right now go give your mom and/or dad a hug and tell them how much you appreciate them.

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Teenagers are expected to act like adults, yet are treated like children

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Pro The teenage years are incredibly tough, responsibility wise. Although we may not have large responsibilities (such as mortgage or financial strife) we have others. Teenagers are expected to plan, and begin to put in place our future career goals. We are expected to know our future aspirations, and goals.

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I wonder why teens are always so angry.

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Just when you think your teens are happy with you they start rolling their eyes and serving up a dose of unexpected anger. We can all relate to this, right? Well, as a clinical psychologist who has been working with teens for over two decades, as a mother of a teen and as a friend I am here today to tell you why they have these unexpected episodes of anger. First, of course, it's part of being a teenager and having an emotionally-driven teenage brain. However, that sort of brain coupled with a number of other thoughts, behaviors and well-intended conversations on your part can quickly lead to a downward spiral into the angry abyss or a slammed door, abrupt end to a conversation or perhaps being told that you just don't get it.

Have a look at the list below of the type of things that trigger teens' anger. I am not suggesting that you move out of your home while your teens are growing up or that you become an anxious and self-conscious parent who says nothing for 4 or 5 years. Instead, I am try to give you some clarity and understanding about what triggers these youngsters to lose their cool. We are all into understanding what is going on in our households and in public settings when we are with our offspring, agreed?

So here is a list of what might be making your teens mad. This is not an exhaustive list but I'll be back with more.

1. Teens get angry when they feel misunderstood by their parents.

2. They get mad when they feel that their moms and dads are clueless, that is, when you don't really understand what goes on in their lives and you make the dreadful error of thinking that you do. Shame on you for being so presumptuous is what they are thinking in their teen brains.

3. Believe it or not, they get angry at you when they are worried about you. I kid you not. They don't know how to express their worry so their default emotion is anger. Yikes.

4. This will be no surprise but they get angry when you embarrass them. In this instance, less is more. They get embarrassed when you try to act like a teen, dress like a teen and/or use teen language. They will not tell you this but they want you to be a parent not a friend. You already had your turn to be a teen.

5. You will be surprised by this one but they get angry at themselves when they disappoint you so what do they do? They direct the anger at you of course. More than anything else your teens do not want to disappoint you. You may not believe me but this is true. I know. The teens tell me about this all the time.

6. They get upset when you compare them to their siblings. More frequently than not they feel that they come up short.

7. Be careful here. When you talk about your teens' friends in a negative manner they get furious because they identify so closely with their friends. So, if you criticize their friends then they interpret it as a direct criticism of them. There are so many landmines that you can step into that it's mind-boggling. Stay with me though. I'm not quite done yet.

8. Please do not use your teens as your confidantes no matter how mature they seem. They are just not ready to help you handle your problems. They are kids, remember. Confide in them and they just might run up to their rooms with no explanation. I'm sure that every parent has been there before.

9. If they are deeply upset about something that they are keeping to themselves they may act angry rather than distressed. It's just easier for them.

10. Depressed kids often present as angry -- particularly males. It is not uncommon for depressed male teens to act out when feeling sad. Keep an eye out for this especially if it is anger that lasts for several days and if it is a change in behavior.

11. Teens get furious when you talk badly about your ex-husband or ex-wife around them. Look this makes sense. While this may be your ex this is not their ex-parent.

12. When you try to solve all of their problems your teens get bent out of shape. That is because they interpret this as you doubting them. They want to feel that you trust them not doubt them.

13.Your kids don't always appreciate when you turn them into your favorite child. This may put them at odds with their siblings which is not necessarily a place where they want to be. Watch out for this. Of course, it is normal to have a favorite child and this may vary at times depending on how each kid is acting but be careful not to be too obvious about your feelings.

14. Do NOT call their teachers, coaches etc. unless you have spoken to them first. They get angry because most of them would rather you not interfere unless absolutely necessary. You wouldn't want your mom or partner to call your boss, right? This is not exactly a fair comparison but it gets the point across.

15. They get mad when you ask them how their day was as soon as they walk into the house. This seems so odd because so many of us would love if our partners asked how our day was and then actually tuned in and listened to the answer. It's different with teens though. They interpret this question as how are your grades. Also, their day isn't over when they walk into the house and they need time to decompress and think things over.

16. Despite their volatility, teens cannot tolerate their parents' intensely emotional reactions. They get mad, end conversations and interpret this as their parents' inability to handle things. Teens complain about their parents' tendency to freak out so perhaps freak out privately or work on controlling your emotions. I get it. It's not that easy.

17. If your teen shares a secret with you do not share it with your friends. They have entrusted you with precious information. Treat it like the precious information that it is.

18. Do not gossip. I know that it is the human tendency to do this but teens are particularly sensitive to this. They will see you as critical and judgmental. This makes them disappointed and very distressed.

19. Try very hard not to hold a grudge or practice the silent treatment. This not only makes the teens mad but also breaks their sensitive little hearts.Also, keep in mind that you are their most important role model so you don't want to role model this sort of behavior.

AND

20. Try to read their non-verbal cues particularly when they are ready to end a conversation. They may not always tell you when they are conversationed-out but their body language may speak volumes. Pay attention so that the conversation ends on a good note rather than on an irritated note.

On that note, I will give you a break and time to think about the above points. Please write to me with your experiences. I 'll be back.

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20 Reasons Why Your Teens Get Mad At You

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Just when you think your teens are happy with you they start rolling their eyes and serving up a dose of unexpected anger. We can all relate to this, right? Well, as a clinical psychologist who has been working with teens for over two decades, as a mother of a teen and as a friend I am here today to tell you why they have these unexpected episodes of anger.

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I wonder why everyone has such negative views on being a teenagers and what happens as being a teenager.

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"Watch out! - I am from the evil and hated generation. Believe it or not, not every single teenager around my age goes around beating up people and smashing up cars. Can you seriously claim that today's youth are that much worse than the mods and rockers of the former generation? My generation never gets a positive thing said about them - GCSEs for example - we do better than the past generation and the courses must be getting easier - obviously. Is it really any wonder then certain youths rebel?"

Charlie, from Bristol, didn't know it, but by posting those words on a BBC website yesterday, he became the unofficial spokesperson for a generation of young Britons fed up with being demonised as either "Kevin the teenager" or a gun-toting hoodie.

His anger was echoed by dozens of other young people provoked into responding to a report that claimed British adults were more scared of teenagers than ever before.

The report's authors, the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR), also warn today of the growing dangers of soaring rates of sexually-transmitted infections among teenagers and the lowering of the average age at which young people first have sex.

Next month, the IPPR plans to release the full report, containing more bad news about teenagers, including deficiencies in education and diet as well as an addiction to designer labels for clothes and gadgets.

Those reports will no doubt be accompanied by further headlines about children being so obese that their only hope is surgery, falling standards in schools or stories of Uzi-toting teenage muggers. That, of course, all leads to the inescapable conclusion that the British teenager is a monster best avoided.

Or could it be that young people growing up in this country are being deliberately misunderstood by politicians and headline writers who wish to use them to suit their own ends?

In the words of Harry Enfield's creation, Kevin the teenager: "It's so unfair."

Yesterday, the case against the British teenager was being led by the IPPR who claimed that more than 1.5 million Britons had considered moving home because of young people "hanging around" their neighbourhood.

According to the report, British adults are also twice as likely than German adults to cross the road when they encounter teenagers committing anti-social behaviour.

Some of the reasons Britons were too frightened to get involved included being physically attacked, fear of reprisals and being verbally abused.

But not one of these fears appears to be borne out by the facts.

According to NACRO, the penal reform charity, youth crime actually fell between 1993 and 2001 while Britain has one of the lowest crime rates among children in the whole of Europe.

That isn't something that always comes across when politicians are talking tough on law and order. Tony Blair's "respect" campaign and the national "respect squad" set up by John Reid, only reinforce the adult fear factor of teenagers, a condition the report refers to as paedophobia.

Labour, spurred on by sensational headlines about gangs of teenagers terrorising neighbourhoods, have been quick to turn soundbites into actions and introduced criminal justice measures deliberately targeting problem children.

Since 1999, 2,000 Asbos have been issued against young people while new policies, many championed by Labour-friendly think tanks, are aimed at making it easier to prosecute children.

David Cameron's Conservatives have only muddied the waters by advocating tougher punishments for adolescent misbehaviour while at the same time urging everyone to "hug a hoodie."

No wonder teenagers such as Charlie are so confused.

Sam, another young person upset by the report, told the BBC yesterday: "Respect seems to be demanded here, why should we as a youth just give respect, it should be earned. The vast majority of youth do these things as there is nothing else to do. It is simply a period everyone goes through before they can get into the pubs. I have done a lot of the things mentioned but I am at university studying politics now. It is a age-old argument but people seem to have very short term memories, look back at cartoons from the 50 and 60's and it was the same argument."

Gemma, who also felt compelled to speak out, adds: "It is elderly people who think this and stereotype all young people in the same category. Again it is the few who ruin life for the rest of us. Not all young people are 'yobs' or 'tyrants'. If we were to stereotype older people in this kind or biased way we would be told off!!!"

The sense that our young people are increasingly being demonised is also shared by many people outside their age bracket.

Pam Hibbert, principal policy officer for Barnados, says that wearing hoodies and meeting friends on street corners is all part of the growing up process.

She said: "We have become fearful of all children. We know for example young crime in itself has remained fairly static in the past 10 years - it is a minority that cause problems and retaliate. The demonisation of children and young people in some sections of the media and when politicians refer to youngsters as yobs - that breeds the actual fear."

Ms Hibbert said the reason adults' fear had grown was a lack of activities involving young people and adults. "Respect is not a one way process. Bad behaviour by adults is almost celebrated in today's society but when youngsters misbehave people say they do not have any respect. Respect is about all of us getting together."

Claire Rayner, one of Britain's foremost agony aunts, said: "I think everyone's getting very excited about this but what they don't realise is that every generation fears the next one, believing them to be source of all evil. I have a little notice hanging up in my house which complains about young children not standing up when adults come into room and other things. These are the words of Socrates. All this goes to show is that this has been a problem for a long time. We mustn't be afraid of teenagers, instead we would be better off starting off a conversation with them instead."

Often lost in the rush to paint a bleak picture of children is the fact that they too are often victims. Elaine Peace, UK director of children's services at NCH, the children's charity, said that teenagers were more likely to be the victim of a crime than the perpetrator: "Young people are 10 times more likely to be actively volunteering in the community than committing offences and young people are more likely to be victims of crime than adults. The media is fuelling stereotypes of children and the fear of young people. We should be highlighting the fantastic work young people do in the community. We need to do more to involve older people in the community - mentoring schemes would be one option to help change perceptions."

In the meantime, teenagers will have to brace themselves for more negative stereotyping.

The full IPPR report, an investigation into 30 years of research on young people, will reveal teenagers to be facing a growing obesity problem, experiencing huge inequalities in education and hooked on product branding.

But, in the same way that all teenagers are different, the truth about young people in Britain is not as straightforward as politicians, the media and influential think-tanks would have us believe.

Recently a report by the University of Lancaster contradicted the commonly held perception that all teenagers are couch potatoes. It found that 10 and 11-year-olds still make more than 60 per cent of their journeys on foot.

Another study suggests the rate of obesity among children has remained relatively stable and that it was problem that had been overhyped.

The Social Issues Research Council, which is funded by food companies as well as the Government, said average child weights have only risen slightly.

SIRC, which compared average weights in 1995 and 2003, said obesity levels have started to rise among older teenagers but the middle-aged were most at risk.

The implied accusation by some social commentators that Britain's teenage population is less educated than previous generations is also turning out to be something of a myth.

Education standards have improved in both A-levels and GCSEs and independent studies have failed to prove that either exam is getting easier.

Meanwhile, international surveys suggest that Britain's primary schools now have the third highest literacy rates in the world.

Even the IPPR concedes that many of these stereotypes about teenagers may be unjustified.

Nick Pearce, IPPR Director, says: "The debate about childhood in Britain is polarised between false opposites: that either children or adults are to blame. It also ignores inequalities in the transition to adulthood. Many children are safer, healthier and better educated than in the past, whilst others suffer complex, traumatic routes through adolescence.

"Complex structural changes to modern society, coupled with changes to how young people behave, have produced this situation," he added.

Sadhia Khan, 17

A-LEVEL STUDENT FROM NORWOOD GREEN, MIDDLESEX

"It's very unfair to group teenagers as 'problematic' for society. Most of us just aren't like that. I have so many extra-curricular hobbies; I have been in a debating society, I play tennis and badminton and the piano. I don't tend to meet my friends on the street but go shopping with them or meet for meals. The media's image of teenagers and these negative reports that have recently been published tend to focus on the idea that young people misbehave and just hang around doing nothing. That's not true for many of us. We have a lot of pressures in our lives, socially and academically. I've applied to do medicine at university like my sister, and many of us are hoping to achieve in life and make a positive impact in society, yet that is an image that rarely comes across in debates on teenage life. My group of friends is highly motivated. Every time I pick up a newspaper or hear another TV report about teenagers, it is always demonising us, rather than reflecting the reality for most of us. At the end of a schoolday, when we sometimes go shopping together, we're looked at suspiciously because we are taking up so much space. People are quite judgmental about teenagers, how we look, where we go, and I think it's a shame that middle-class children are treated with more respect than maybe someone who's wearing a hoodie."

Ed Chapman, 17

A-LEVEL STUDENT FROM NORTH LONDON

"The majority of teenagers are fairly well behaved, and I don't believe there's a higher percentage of teenagers causing trouble than adults, so it is not specifically a teenager problem. Young people are a visible target because for many, their only option is to meet outside the home. I spend time regularly hanging around the estate because that is how we socialise - we can't really have so many friends round to the house - but we don't cause any trouble and we have a good relationship with the residents. The police stop us fairly regularly which I find irritating. Two of my friends were stopped and searched by an officer who was rude and aggressive when they were doing nothing wrong. I have been stopped and searched twice and asked questions four or five times. I'm a Scout leader and help to look after around 50 kids every week, and am responsible for taking them on camps. I plan to go to university and become a barrister."

Jennifer Whitfield, 14

PUPIL AT NORTHALLERTON COLLEGE, NORTH YORKSHIRE

"The perception that people have of all teenagers as troublemakers annoys me. It's just a small section of young people that are out to cause trouble. When I'm shopping with friends, I notice that we're followed around by a shop assistant who stays behind us at all times as if we are going to do something wrong. Of course, there are teenagers who spend time hanging around on street corners but they are not all trying to scare adults, just trying to have a good time with their friends, and they have nowhere else to gather. People tend to assume they are causing trouble when they are actually just standing there. It's wrong to judge teenagers, who in the majority, are not out to harm others but just to have fun. Sometimes I'll go to the park with friends but not often. Most of the time, I play netball and the saxophone in the concert band at college, or go camping with my family in holidays but not everyone can afford to do these things, so maybe that's why some stand on the street, to meet and chat."

Helena Gavrielides, 16

A-LEVEL STUDENT FROM LONDON

"There are so many teenagers who are good citizens. Most teenagers do drink but it depends where they do it. I think it's silly to drink standing on a street, and I understand that can be intimidating for adults. But it's difficult because not everyone's doing this, although people are going to pick up on the worst cases. I go to a liberal comprehensive school. The younger children meet on the street and I've seen police asking them to move although they were not doing anything. Elderly people seem suspicious of young people, even when we are polite, as if they assume we are going to steal their bags.

I've got friends who do charity work so it's not all about us drinking, and drugs and partying. I am busy every night except one with yoga, choir and piano and I've just taken a course to qualify as a swim instructor. With reports on obese teenagers, a lot of young people are really stressed about being overweight. I see so many girls on diets, and I don't think reports on obesity do anything to help their self image."

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Behind the stereotypes: The shocking truth about teenagers

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"Watch out! - I am from the evil and hated generation. Believe it or not, not every single teenager around my age goes around beating up people and smashing up cars. Can you seriously claim that today's youth are that much worse than the mods and rockers of the former generation?

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I wonder when teens start considering themselves adults

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I wonder why teens keep their feelings inside and not tell no one.

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I wonder if high expectations from parents overwhelm teens.

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Teenagers never had it particularly easy.

PLYMOUTH - Teenagers never had it particularly easy.

Morphing into adulthood can be tricky, especially when you throw hormonal and bodily changes into a mix of greater responsibility.

But some experts say being a teenager right now is particularly difficult, and can lead to depression.

While doctors confirm that depression can be caused by chemical imbalances and underlying disease, many cases, they add, are brought on by a confluence of outside factors impacting the psyches of tomorrow's leaders.

One Plymouth teen, who had struggled with anxiety since she was a child, was hospitalized at age 15 after she planned to commit suicide. For her, the expectations became overwhelming, she explained.

"I think being exposed to so much information through the media and trying to process it all while balancing a social life and extracurricular activities and grades can cause self-loathing and stress," she said. "You have to do so much because it looks good on college applications. There's so much competition. Meanwhile, you're just getting more and more information shoved down your throat."

And the school experience has changed dramatically over the years, according to Dr. Heidi Peddell Hall, a clinical psychologist.

"It's much less enjoyable to go to school than it was 30 years ago," she said. "There's too many requirements from the state, like MCAS and curriculum. Kids have no down time at all; there's no flexibility for the teacher to teach other things - because she can't according to the requirements. It's all structured time."

Then, for so many, there's the issue of both parents working. Youngsters can't simply go outside and play unsupervised because that's not necessarily safe thanks to the increase in crime. In the old days, a parent, usually a mother, was home to keep an eye on things while the kids were outside in the yard. Today, that's just not happening, Peddell Hall said.

"With two parents working, the parents often don't know the other kids in the neighborhood, so they're not allowed to go to another kid's house after school," she added. "Teens wind up playing video games at home with friends. Meanwhile, being outside is crucial for your mental health."

Research confirms that sunshine and Vitamin D, simply being outside, whether it's at a park or in the wilderness, boosts people's sense of wellbeing.

And, since mom and dad are working to pay those ever-rising bills, family members aren't hanging out together the way they used to, and that can lead to isolation and feelings of depression in a teen.

"And, we don't know our neighbors," Peddell Hall added. "People don't get involved in church or other social networks as much now. We need to be walking outside more and playing instead of doing regimental activities. It seems like work all the time."

Dr. Jim Sorenson, another clinical psychologist agreed.

"I often say to kids, 'You fix this problem with your feet, not your brain,'" he said. "Exercise. 'Get out and exercise,' I'll say to them. 'I know you don't want to do it. But, I am going to tell you right now, if you do it, you'll feel better.'"

And social media is not good for depressed teens, he added, because people post things that hurt others. He said he sometimes advices teenagers he sees to simply get off social media.

"They read it at night when the whole world is asleep," he added. "So, they're reading things like something an ex-girlfriend posted and they're all by themselves in that thought. That's dangerous stuff."

Isolation is the number one factor in depression, Sorenson added.

One man who said he attempted suicide at age 15, concurred. Feelings of alienation from his family and peers contributed to his depression, he said.

"I think every teenager wants to be more independent and my folks were kind of chilly to begin with."

When he learned that an ex-girlfriend had been hospitalized for mental issues, he said he went over the edge emotionally.

What brought him back was realizing the impact the attempt had on those around him, he explained. Later, getting away from home and attending college bolstered his sense of worth and he recovered.

"I wish I had somebody at the time that I could say anything to without them running away or freaking out," he said. "A therapist, a good friend, a parent."

For teenage boys, depression usually manifests itself in anger, according to Sorenson. The boy will direct it at someone else or something else.

"When they turn the anger against themselves that's when they think, 'My mother would be better off without me,' 'My girlfriend would be better off without me,'" Sorenson said.

Many times, the anger points back to family turmoil. A depressed family member or one suffering from substance abuse or parents who get a divorce - these things can contribute mightily to a teen's depression. Parents preoccupied with addiction or their careers can make a teen feel neglected and unloved, Sorenson said. And thoughts that they are not worthy of love suddenly surface.

Both Sorenson and Pedell Hall used the analogy of dark sunglasses when explaining what these depressed teens are experiencing.

"It's like wearing glasses with blue lenses and every color you look at has a blue tint," Sorenson explained. "When they're depressed they can't find the positive in anything."

What to do if the teen in your life says he or she is depressed

The man who attempted suicide and the Plymouth teenager who also struggled with depression when she was 15 concur that depressed teens need to be able to talk about what they're feeling and experiencing without the listener "freaking out," judging them or threatening them.

Telling a teenager that being depressed is normal is not helpful, this young woman said.

The mother of one of her friends who confessed to feeling depressed was greeted with the alarming announcement that if she continued to talk like that she would wind up tied up in a hospital bed.

The prospect of being hospitalized is terrifying, the teen added, especially when it's not necessary in many cases. There are doctors, therapists, medications and cognitive therapies that can help.

In addition, this threatening response can often guarantee the teen will no longer confide in the parent and will simply go it alone - which can be much more dangerous, the man added.

Really listening and staying calm is the key, they agreed.

"Just listen and don't freak out," he said. "It's called active listening with empathy, without judgment, without advising them."

They both recommended a depressed teen see a doctor. The right medication and informed advice are needed and can help immeasurably, she added.

"I'm in cognitive therapy for anxiety and time management for school," the teen said.

And some parents need to ease up on the pressure, Peddell Hall said. Some of her patients are from highly competitive families that push their kids to get straight A's and to take advanced placement courses in high school in order to get into a good college.

"You're going to take an AP course to get a 4.3 GPA? Come on. When does it stop? You don't see kids enjoying their lives," Peddell Hall added.

The teen acknowledged that the Internet and Smartphones are wonderful because they allow her to communicate with people from other countries and with a dear friend who is suffering a debilitating disease and is in the hospital. But, with all this new technology comes new requirements, Peddell Hall noted. Since it's easier to access information online and through one's phone, schools and jobs and even friends are now demanding more. Now that people can be reached anywhere, immediate responses to emails, texts and posts are often expected. The result is, again, no down time. The teen is constantly barraged with expectations that have to be met. It's like working all the time, Peddell Hall reiterated.

"With every passing generation, there's more and more to juggle," the young woman added.

Teens need to find a balance and carve out time when they can simply be, without having to constantly do, Peddell Hall said.

Follow Emily Clark on Twitter @emilyOCM.

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OVERWHELMING EXPECTATIONS: Experts say pressures facing today's teens can lead to depression

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Teenagers never had it particularly easy. PLYMOUTH - Teenagers never had it particularly easy. Morphing into adulthood can be tricky, especially when you throw hormonal and bodily changes into a mix of greater responsibility. But some experts say being a teenager right now is particularly difficult, and can lead to depression.

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I wonder what are the reasons for some teens maturing faster than other teens.

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Why do teenagers take peril risks, if they know that they are going to get in trouble.

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Though he's most often linked to his role as the Tenth Doctor on the legendary sci-fi series , David Tennant is much more than that, as audiences around the world are beginning to discover. Born David John McDonald in West Lothian, Scotland on April 18, 1971, the man who would become David Tennant has spent the past 30-plus years carving out a very particular niche for himself-both on the stage and screen in England and, increasingly more, as a staple of the big screen in Hollywood. To celebrate the award-winning actor's birthday, here are 15 things you might not know about David Tennant.

1. HE TOOK HIS NAME FROM THE PET SHOP BOYS.

As a teenager, the budding actor learned that because there was already a David McDonald in the actors' union, he needed to come up with an alternate moniker to pursue a professional acting career. Right around the same time, he read an interview in Smash Hits with Neil Tennant, lead vocalist for the Pet Shop Boys, and "David Tennant" was born.

Today, he legally is David Tennant. "I am now actually Tennant-have been for a few years," he said in 2013. "It was an issue with the Screen Actors' Guild in the U.S., who wouldn't let me keep my stage name unless it was my legal name. Faced with the prospect of working under two different names on either side of the globe, I had to take the plunge and rename myself! So although I always liked the name, I'm now more intimately associated with it than I had ever imagined. Thank you, Neil Tennant."

2. HE BECAME AN ACTOR WITH THE SPECIFIC GOAL OF STARRING ON DOCTOR WHO.

While a lot of young kids dream of growing up to become astronauts or professional athletes, Tennant set his own career goal at the tender age of three: to star on Doctor Who. It was Tom Baker's version of The Doctor in particular that inspired Tennant to become an actor. He carried around a Doctor Who doll and wrote Who-inspired essays at school. " Doctor Who was a massive influence," Tennant told Rolling Stone. "I think it was for everyone in my generation; growing up, it was just part of the cultural furniture in Britain in the '70s and '80s."

On April 16, 2004, just two days before his 34th birthday, Tennant achieved that goal when he was officially named The Tenth Doctor, taking over for Christopher Eccleston. "I am delighted, excited, and honored to be the Tenth Doctor," Tennant said at the time. "I grew up loving Doctor Who and it has been a lifelong dream to get my very own TARDIS."

3. THOUGH BECOMING THE DOCTOR WAS A LIFELONG DREAM, THERE WAS SOME TREPIDATION.

Though landing the lead in Doctor Who was a lifelong dream come true for Tennant, the initial excitement was followed by a little trepidation. When asked by The Scotsman whether he worried about being typecast, Tennant admitted: "I did remember being thrilled to bits when I got asked and then a few days later thinking, 'Oh, is this a terrible idea?' ... But that didn't last very long. Time will tell. The only option is you don't take these jobs when they come up. You've got to just roll with the punches."

4. HE MADE HIS PROFESSIONAL DEBUT IN A PSA.

While most actors have some early roles they'd prefer to forget, Tennant's first professional gig didn't come in some otherwise forgettable movie, TV series, or play. When he was 16 years old, he booked a role in an anti-smoking PSA for the Glasgow Health Board, which played on television and was shown in schools. Thanks to the power of the internet, you can watch his performance above.

5. HE MARRIED THE FIFTH DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER, WHO ONCE PLAYED THE TENTH DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER.

Confused? In 2011, Tennant married Georgia Moffett, who played his artificially created daughter, Jenny, in the 2008 Doctor Who episode "The Doctor's Daughter." In real life, Moffett really is The Doctor's daughter; her father is Peter Davison, who played the Fifth Doctor from 1981 to 1984.

6. HIS FIRST MOVIE ROLE HAD HIM ACTING OPPOSITE CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTON.

In 1996, Tennant landed his first movie role in Michael Winterbottom's Jude, where he played the very descriptive "Drunk Undergraduate." His big scene had him acting opposite Christopher Eccleston-the man who, less than a decade later, would hand over the keys to the TARDIS to Tennant.

7. HE AVOIDS READING REVIEWS OF HIS WORK.

While it's hard to imagine that Tennant has ever had to deal with too many scathing reviews, it doesn't really matter to the actor: good or bad, he avoids reading them. When asked during a livechat with The Guardian about one particularly negative review, and whether he reads and reacts to them, Tennant replied: "The bad review to which you refer was actually for a German expressionist piece about the Round Table called Merlin. It was the first extensive review I'd ever had, and it was absolutely appalling. Not that it's scarred into my memory in any way whatsoever. I try not to read them, these days. Reviews aren't really for the people who are performing, and-good or bad-they don't help. You always get a sense if something you're in has been well received or not, that's unavoidable. But beyond that, details are best avoided."

8. HE HOSTED MASTERPIECE THEATRE.

In 2007, Masterpiece Theatre reinvented itself. In addition to dropping the "Theatre" from its title, the series announced that it was splintering into three different seasons- Masterpiece Classic, Masterpiece Mystery!, and Masterpiece Contemporary. Unlike the days of the past, when Alistair Cooke held court, each of the new series had its own host, Tennant among them. (He was in charge of Masterpiece Contemporary.)

9. HE GOT A LOT OF YOUNGER AUDIENCES INTERESTED IN SHAKESPEARE.

Tennant has logged a lot of hours with the Royal Shakespeare Company over the years. In 2008, while still starring in Doctor Who, he took on the role that every actor wants in the RSC's production of Hamlet, which ended up being one of London's hottest (and hardest to get) tickets. The Guardian reported that hundreds of people were lined up to buy tickets, with some even camping out overnight outside the West End theater. Within three hours of the tickets going on sale, all 6000 of them were sold out.

" Hamlet is a very popular play," a RSC spokesperson said at the time. "It's the most famous. But obviously there's the factor that David Tennant is in it and the good news is that he's bringing a lot of younger audiences to Shakespeare."

10. HE WAS ON A ROYAL MAIL STAMP.

In 2011, the Royal Mail paid tribute to Royal Shakespeare Company's 50th anniversary with a series of stamps featuring images from a handful of the RSC's productions, including Tennant as Hamlet.

11. HE ALMOST PLAYED HANNIBAL LECTER.

Though it's easy to see why Bryan Fuller cast Mads Mikkelsen in the title role of his television adaptation of Hannibal, Tennant came pretty close to playing the fava bean-and-chianti-loving, flesh-eating serial killer at the heart of Thomas Harris's novels. Fuller was so impressed with Tennant's dark side that he tried to make a guest appearance happen during the series' run.

"I'm a huge fan of David Tennant, and we've been trying to get him on the show for quite some time," Fuller said. "He's such a spectacular actor. He brings such an effervescence to every performance. I would love to have David on the show. Or just write for David! I would kill and eat somebody to work with David! He's my favorite Doctor."

12. HE'S JODIE WHITTAKER'S FAVORITE DOCTOR.

Fuller isn't the only one who puts Tennant at the top of their Favorite Doctor list. Jodie Whittaker, who recently made her debut as the Thirteenth Doctor-and is the first woman to take on the role-recently told The Sunday Times that "David [is my favorite Doctor] of course, because I know him." (The two spent three seasons co-starring in the British crime drama Broadchurch.)

When asked about Whittaker's casting at the New Orleans Wizard World Comic Con, and whether he had given her any words of advice, Tennant said that, "We had a wee chat, yes. It is quite a unique job, because it's a show that has so much history to it. And it has a reach that's quite unlike other things. It's a bit of a kind of cultural thing-Who's going to be the Doctor?-it's a news story, really. So to find yourself in the middle of that is a bit overwhelming. I think inevitably, you sort of look to people who'd been there before to go, 'What is this like? What is this madness I entered into?' And that's certainly been the case with Matt and Peter, and now with Jodie. I know that Jodie's talked to Peter, and she's talked to Matt. You just for a little support group. You go, 'What is this madness? Tell me about it.' And of course, you know, she 's a little trepidatious, but she's basically really excited. She's such a fantastic choice for it. You see it in just those 30 seconds that she did at the end of the last episode. You just go, 'Oh my god, she's all over it. Brilliant. It's great.'"

13. HE'S DYING TO WORK WITH AARON SORKIN.

When asked by Collider if there's ever been a television show he's watched and wished he was a part of, Tennant copped to being a huge fan of The West Wing.

" The West Wing is finished now [but] that's the one that I would have loved to have been part of," he said. "I'd love to work with Aaron Sorkin on something. Just the way he writes, he has no fear in writing people that are fiercely intelligent, and I love that. I love the speed of his stuff, and the way people free-associate and interact. That kind of writing is very exciting. It's hard to have that kind of clarity of voice, especially in a world where there's a million executives listening to everything you do and having an opinion and trying to drive everything towards the lowest common denominator because that's what happens when things are made by committee. So, to have someone who's got a strong individual voice that is allowed to be heard is quite increasingly rare. These people need to be cherished."

14. HE HAS EARNED A LOT OF FAN ACCOLADES, INCLUDING "COOLEST MAN ON TV."

In addition to his many professional acting accolades- including a couple of BAFTAs and a Daytime Emmy and an Olivier Award nomination-Tennant has earned a number of less official "awards" over the years. In 2007, a Radio Times survey named him the Coolest Man on TV. The National Television Awards named him Most Popular Actor of 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2010. In 2008, he was one of Cosmopolitan's Sexiest Men in the World. In 2012, British GQ readers named him the third Best Dressed Man (behind Tom Hiddleston and Robert Pattinson).

15. YOU CAN BUY HIS PANTS.

On April 17, 2018, as part of the Royal Shakespeare Company's Stitch in Time fundraiser, the organization began auctioning off more than 50 original costumes worn during RSC performances. Among the items that you can bid on? The black trousers Tennant wore in Hamlet, and the white robe he wore in Richard II.

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Though he's most often linked to his role as the Tenth Doctor on the legendary sci-fi series , David Tennant is much more than that, as audiences around the world are beginning to discover.

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I wonder if kids younger than 13 get pregnant.

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Last week, a 12-year-old Dutch girl went into labor while on a school field trip. Neither she nor her family were previously aware that she was pregnant. Teachers rushed the girl to Groningen Hospital in a northern part of the Netherlands, where she gave birth to a healthy baby.

In the modern era, 12 is a tragically young age to give birth in developed nations. That's a cultural fact rather than physical one, though: Twelve-year-old mothers aren't unusual in some parts of the world. What's the youngest a woman can give birth, physically?

A woman can get pregnant and have a baby as soon as she begins ovulating, or producing eggs. This typically occurs about a year after they first begin menstruating, which for North American women, usually happens between the ages of 11 and 12. Some women start ovulating late, though, and others, extremely early. The early onset of menstration is called "precocious puberty."

Lina Medina, a Peruvian girl born in 1933, began menstruating at the age of eight months, was tragically raped as a 5-year-old and gave birth at six years, five months. She is the youngest confirmed mother in medical history. Medina is still alive today. Her son, born by caesarian section, was raised as her brother.
Got a question? Email itThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it to Life's Little Mysteries and we'll try to answer it.

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What's the Youngest Age at Which a Woman Can Give Birth?

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Last week, a 12-year-old Dutch girl went into labor while on a school field trip. Neither she nor her family were previously aware that she was pregnant. Teachers rushed the girl to Groningen Hospital in a northern part of the Netherlands, where she gave birth to a healthy baby.

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I wonder if teens ask for there parents for help more or less often?

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The teenage years can be mystifying for parents. Sensible children turn scatter-brained or start having wild mood swings. Formerly level-headed adolescents ride in cars with dangerous drivers or take other foolish risks.

A flood of new research offers explanations for some of these mysteries. Brain imaging adds another kind of data that can help test hypotheses and corroborate teens' own accounts of their behavior and emotions. Dozens of recent multiyear studies have traced adolescent development through time, rather than comparing sets of adolescents at a single point.

The new longitudinal research is changing scientists' views on the role parents play in helping children navigate a volatile decade. Once seen as a time for parents to step back, adolescence is increasingly viewed as an opportunity to stay tuned in and emotionally connected. The research makes it possible to identify four important phases in the development of intellectual, social and emotional skills that most teens will experience at certain ages. Here is a guide to the latest findings:

Ages 11 to 12

As puberty takes center stage, tweens can actually slip backward in some basic skills. Spatial learning and certain kinds of reasoning may decline at this stage, studies show. Parts of the brain responsible for prospective memory, or remembering what you are supposed to do in the future, are still maturing. This may be why a teen may seem clueless if asked to give the teacher a note before school.

Coaching tweens in organizational skills can help. Parents can help build memory cues into daily routines, such as placing a gym bag by the front door, or helping set reminders on a cellphone. They can share helpful tools, such as task-manager apps.

Parents can help foster sound decision-making, thinking through pros and cons and considering other viewpoints. Children who know by age 10 or 11 how to make sound decisions tend to exhibit less anxiety and sadness, get in fewer fights and have fewer problems with friends at ages 12 and 13, according to a 2014 study of 76 participants published in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making.

By remaining warm and supportive, parents may be able to influence the way their teen's brain develops at this stage. A 2014 study of 188 children compared the effect of mothers ​who were warm, affectionate and approving during disagreements, versus mothers who became angry and argumentative. Teens at age 16, who had affectionate moms when they were 12, ​showed brain changes linked to lower rates of sadness and anxiety and greater self-control, according to the study led by researchers at the University of Melbourne in Australia.

Ages 13 to 14

Parents should brace themselves for what is often a wildly emotional passage. Young teens become sensitive to peers' opinions and react strongly to them. Yet the social skills they need to figure out what their peers really think won't be fully mature for years, making this a confusing and potentially miserable time.

At about this time, teens' response to stress goes haywire, sparking more door-slamming and tears. The impact of social stress is peaking around this time: Of adults with mental disorders often triggered by stress, 50% received a diagnosis before age 15. Other research shows teens from ages 11 to 15 become sad and anxious when subjected to social stresses such exclusion from social groups, while adults don't show a similar effect.

Parts of the brain most vulnerable to stress are still maturing, so coping strategies teens use at this stage can become ingrained in the brain's circuitry as lifelong patterns, according to a 2016 research review in Developmental Science Review. Psychologists advise teaching and modeling self-soothing skills, such as meditation, exercise or listening to music.

Coach teens on friendship skills, including how to read their peers' expressions and body language. Encourage them to choose friends based on shared interests, not popularity, and to dump friends who are unkind. Teach them how to repair friendships after a fight by apologizing, making amends or compromising.

Family support is a stress buffer. Teens whose families provide companionship, problem-solving and emotional support are less likely to become depressed after exposure to severe stress, according to a 2016 study of 362 Israeli adolescents in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Ages 15 to 16

Teens' appetite for risk-taking peaks at this age, according to a 2015 study of more than 200 participants ages 8 to 27 led by researchers at Leiden University in the Netherlands. The brain's reward receptors are blossoming, amplifying adolescents' response to dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. This makes thrill-seeking more desirable than it will ever be again.

Normal fears of danger are temporarily suppressed during adolescence, a shift scientists believe is rooted in an evolutionary need to leave home and explore new habitats. Studies have found adolescents fail to change their appraisal of risky situations even after being warned that the hazards are greater than they expect.

The ability to make and keep good friends is especially useful at this stage. Teens with friends they trust and count on for support are less likely to engage in risky behavior such as shoplifting, riding with a dangerous driver or having unprotected sex, according to a 2015 study of 46 teens led by Dr. Eva Telzer, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. Teens who argue often with close friends are more likely to take such gambles.

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The teenage years can be mystifying for parents. Sensible children turn scatter-brained or start having wild mood swings. Formerly level-headed adolescents ride in cars with dangerous drivers or take other foolish risks. A flood of new research offers explanations for some of these mysteries.

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I wonder why teens go through so many stuff ?

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I wonder if its true that teenage girls actually mature faster than boys

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Scientists at Newcastle University in the UK have discovered that girls tend to optimize brain connections earlier than boys. The researchers conclude that this may explain why females generally mature faster in certain cognitive and emotional areas than males during childhood and adolescence. The new study was published December 19, 2013 in Cerebral Cortex.

Of course, anyone who has read Middlesex knows that gender identification can be on a spectrum. Making generalizations about differences of brain structure based upon being a 'boy' or a 'girl' can be a slippery slope. That said, scientists are trying to solve the puzzle of why across larger data points there appear to be general differences between brain development among male and female cohorts.

Whether you are male, female, or intersex, the brain undergoes a major restructuring during childhood. The connections in the brain that are not used regularly tend to shrink, and evaporate due to lack of use-while the neural networks that are regularly engaged are nourished and survive. This is called "fire and wire" and is the ultimate 'use it or lose it' example of 'neural darwinism' and survival of the fittest amongst neural networks.

Optimizing brain connectivity is designed to give each human the best tools for survival in their environment. Unfortunately, in a modern world many of these highly fine-tuned connections are short-circuiting due to a neurobiological disorientation. The human brain cannot evolve fast enough to keep pace with the future shock of being born in the 21st century.

Many young people-especially boys-are vulnerable to the changes of growing up in a digital age. They become isolated and are thrown into a constant state of cortisol fueled 'fight-or-flight.' This wreaks havoc on a young and vulnerable brain which needs to be in a parasympathetic state of 'tend-and-befriend' to feel safe.

I am a big fan of Amy Poehler's " Smart Girls at the Party" which is geared toward adolescent girls and young teens with the stated mission to "celebrate individuals who are changing the world by being themselves." I believe that young boys and girls from all walks of life and gender identities can benefit from this message. As the father of a 6-year-old, I appreciate the message of self-empowerment, "free to be you... and me," along with humor that Poehler is sending to children.

Environmental pressures like needing to perform well on standardized tests, a lack of physical activity, social disconnection, a constant stream of digital media, excessive screen time, potential ADHD medications, poor nutrition...all conspire to make it difficult for the young brain to form optimal connections during adolescence. Again, it seems that young boys are especially vulnerable to short-circuiting in a modern world without the physical outlets they have evolved to need over millennia.

Children are not designed to sit in a chair all day cramming for a 'no child left behind' examination. It seems possible that some boys might really need to run wild, and be more physically active, as do many girls. Again, every individual's personality and brain is different and unique. Although, there do seem to be statistical trends based on gender worth examining.

Neural Pruning and Neural Plasticity are a Dynamic Duo
In their new study, researchers led by Dr. Marcus Kaiser and Ms. Sol Lim at Newcastle University found that while overall connections in the brain get streamlined, long-distance connections that are crucial for integrating information are preserved in healthy people of both sexes, there are dramatic gender differences at earlier stages of development.

The concept of neural darwinism reinforces habits of thinking and habits of action. I write about the process of neural pruning and plasticity extensively in my book The Athlete's Way as the key to creating an ideal athletic mindset, and other healthy lifestyle habits. The key to athletics is to build a mindset of grace under pressure, resilience, optimism, and adaptability. Over years of training the athlete fine tunes his or her brain connectivity through trial and error to maximize performance.

Sol Lim explained the importance of neural pruning saying: "The loss of connectivity during brain development can actually help to improve brain function by reorganizing the network more efficiently. Say instead of talking to many people at random, asking a couple of people who have lived in the area for a long time is the most efficient way to know your way. In a similar way, reducing some projections in the brain helps to focus on essential information."

Dr. Kaiser adds, "Long-distance connections are difficult to establish and maintain but are crucial for fast and efficient processing. If you think about a social network, nearby friends might give you very similar information-you might hear the same news from different people. People from different cities or countries are more likely to give you novel information. In the same way, some information flow within a brain module might be redundant whereas information from other modules, say integrating the optical information about a face with the acoustic information of a voice is vital in making sense of the outside world."

This study showed how brain connectivity changed during development in terms of fiber tracts within brain regions and between brain regions. More specifically the researchers found preferential decreases in the number of streamlines for thick, short-distance connections within both a brain region and within a cerebral hemisphere. These changes may not necessarily occur at the same time for males and females; males tend to show a delayed start from the prolonged development in white matter and gray matter.

The researchers demonstrated for the first time that the loss of white matter fibers between brain regions is a highly selective process-a phenomenon they call "preferential detachment."

However, they found that not all projections (long-range connections) between brain regions are affected to the same extent for males and females; changes were influenced differently depending on the types of connections.

Changes in these connections have been found in many developmental brain disorders including autism, epilepsy and schizophrenia. With many neurological diseases there are widespread differences between the sexes. For example, autism spectrum disorders are almost 5 times more common among boys (1 in 54) than among girls (1 in 252).

The results of the another study titled "Widespread Sex Differences in Gene Expression and Splicing in the Adult Human Brain" were published on November 22, 2013 in Nature Communications. The authors found that sex-biased gene expression in the adult human brain tends to be widespread statistically. Most importantly, they found that in some cases, "molecular differences are likely to have functional consequences relevant to human disease, and that sex biases in expression may reflect sex-biased gene regulatory structures."
Conclusion: Towards Optimal Brain Connectivity For Every Gender Throughout a Lifespan
An interview with Jane Fonda from a few years ago at the Omega institute called " Our Sons " recently went viral. In the Q & A with Eve Ensler, Jane Fonda speaks of gender differences and the importance for parents and grandparents doing their best to keep young boys in touch with their emotions and able to form close-knit intimate connections. Research continues to mount which shows that brain connectivity tends to vary between the sexes. Personalized attention needs to be given to young boys early on to optimize healthy neural pruning and plasticity.

That said, young girls obviously should be encouraged to break stereotypes of gender roles and, as Amy Poehler says, encouraged to seek leadership roles and "Change the world by being themselves."

What can we do as parents to create an environment that nurtures optimal brain development for our sons, daughters and anyone who feels intersex? In a recent Psychology Today blog post titled "Maternal Care in Early Life Boosts Resilience into Adulthood." I cite another study titled, "Promising Parenting Programmes for Reducing Adolescent Problem Behaviours" was published in the Journal of Children's Services on December 16, 2013. The University of Washington researchers identified five effective parenting programs to help reduce problem behaviors during the teenage years that can have repercussions for the rest of a person's life.

Parenting programs can help parents and children at all risk levels avoid adolescent behavior problems that affect not only individuals, but entire communities. "With these programs, you see marked decreases in drug use, reduced aggression, reduced depression and anxiety, and better mental health," said Kevin Haggerty, assistant director of the UW's Social Development Research Group in the School of Social Work.

"All of us need a little help parenting," Haggerty added. "It's a tough job and we didn't get the instruction manual when our kids were born." The programs recommended by Haggerty and his co-authors are effective with a wide range of families from diverse demographics. They all are based on the Social Development Model, which focuses on: fostering opportunities, skills, rewards for positive social behaviors, bonding, and clear expectations for behavior.

If you'd like to read more on this topic, check out my Psychology Today blog posts:
Follow me on Twitter @ckbergland for updates on The Athlete's Way blog posts.

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Scientists Identify why Girls Often Mature Faster Than Boys

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Scientists at Newcastle University in the UK have discovered that girls tend to optimize brain connections earlier than boys. The researchers conclude that this may explain why females generally mature faster in certain cognitive and emotional areas than males during childhood and adolescence. The new study was published December 19, 2013 in Cerebral Cortex.

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I wonder when teens start to make good decisions to help them in their future.

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I wonder if teens are bad parents?

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I wonder why teens care about what other think about them then they care about themselves?

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Samantha Hanly

Samantha Hanly is an organic vegetable gardener, greenhouse gardener and home canner. She grows a substantial portion of her family's food every year. After receiving her bachelor's degree, Hanly embarked on a career teaching dramatic arts, arts and crafts, and languages. She became a professional writer in 2000, writing curricula for use in classrooms and libraries.

Emotional insecurity during adolescence is normal and is often caused by a combination of hormonal changes, social pressures and the environment in which a child is growing up. Parents can help by being aware and accepting of the emotional turmoil that many teens experience, and also by working to lessen some of the causes of teenager insecurity.

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While some degree of insecurity during adolescence is normal, many teenagers make matters worse by not eating well. Because many teens are anxious about their weight, they will choose to skip breakfast or other meals in order to lose weight, according to the Iowa State University Extension and Outreach. This can lead to physical and emotional problems. Adolescents who are not well-fed are more likely to experience increased insecurity and be less able to handle circumstance in which they feel insecure or unsure of what to do, according to Iowa State University Extension.

Peer status becomes increasingly important in adolescence. Michelle Wright of DePaul University worked with 405 adolescents in two areas to uncover the relationship between social status insecurity and behavior. She concluded that teens who were insecure about their social status would act to increase their social status. Teens that wanted to be popular and well-known were more likely to eschew prosocial behavior and adopt aggressive behavior. When teens wanted others to like them, they adopted prosocial behavior.

A study published by the Teacher's College at Columbia University linked anxiety and insecurity in suburban adolescents with substance abuse. The study found that suburban, upper-middle class teens were more likely to feel stress and insecurity regarding expectations at school and at home. These teenagers self-reported that they used substances such as alcohol, marijuana and tobacco to alleviate anxiety over their sense of inadequacy or insecurity regarding their ability to succeed in school and please their parents.

Research performed by psychologist Chang Chen, published in a 2012 edition of the journal "Personality and Individual Differences," concludes that perfectionist behavior and attitudes stem from personal insecurities. Chen and his associates studied adolescents. Teenagers who felt socially insecure were more likely to hold themselves to high standards and try to appear perfect to others by not admitting their faults. Because other problems can develop with perfectionism, including depression, parents with perfectionist teens might want to talk to their teen about feeling insecure.

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Emotional insecurity during adolescence is normal and is often caused by a combination of hormonal changes, social pressures and the environment in which a child is growing up. Parents can help by being aware and accepting of the emotional turmoil that many teens experience, and also by working to lessen some of the causes of teenager insecurity.

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I wonder if teenagers start acting different when there 16 around the house?

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New connections are being made throughout the adolescent brain, even in the gray matter where we do most of our rational thinking. What's more, the brain is feverishly reshaping itself, "pruning neural connections at the rate of 30,000 per second," Spear says, "producing a leaner, meaner brain."

The biggest changes are occurring in the brain's prefrontal cortex, located right behind the forehead, which governs "executive" thinking: our ability to use logic, make sound decisions, and size up potential risks. Knowing that this decision-making area is still under construction explains plenty about teens. Researchers have found that even in those who generally show good judgment, the quality of decision-making fizzles in moments of high arousal. Emotion, whether happiness, anger, or jealousy--particularly when teens are with their peers--overrides logic, making even the smart ones momentarily dumb.This phenomenon may help to explain why one teen starts smoking even though she knows it will hurt her track times, and another shoplifts a pack of gum when he has $5 in his pocket.

It works like this, says Elizabeth Cauffman, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh: Your 16-year-old knows, when he pulls out of the driveway on a Friday night, that drinking and driving is (a) dangerous and (b) will get him grounded for life. Yet in a peer group, a heightened emotion--such as anger at being called chicken--trumps knowledge. Very likely, he'll guzzle that pint of peach schnapps anyway. Ask him later what he was thinking, and he will honestly answer: "I wasn't."

The fact that their "thinking brains" are works-in-progress also affects teens' abilities to assess and respond appropriately to the emotions of others--and their own. A study at McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA, for example, found that teens read facial expressions differently, and less accurately, than adults do. When researchers showed a small group of adolescents (ages 12 to 17) several photographs of faces with fearful expressions, many of the kids--particularly the younger ones--misread some of the looks as surprise, anger, or confusion. (In similar studies, adults correctly identified the faces as "fearful" every time.) While the teens were reviewing the photos, MRI scans of their brains showed increased activity in the amygdala (the part of the brain that governs immediate, or gut, reactions and plays a leading role in impulsive action). Adults, on the other hand, have been shown to use the frontal cortex to assess similar photos, which enables them to better distinguish subtleties in expression.[pagebreak]

This Preserves the Species?

While living amid all this brain turbulence isn't much fun for anybody (especially your teen), scientists think typical adolescent characteristics like defiance and risk taking may serve a valuable evolutionary purpose. Animal species in which adolescents left the pack and mated with a more diverse gene pool may have become much stronger, Spear says. Those with meek juveniles most likely had a higher risk of inbreeding, which can lead to extinction. "It's possible this teenage defiance in many species has just become instinctive, and while it's no longer useful to us--and in fact is dangerous--it may take evolution eons to catch up," she says.

Whatever, the timing is terrible. Your teenager's brain is remodeling just as modern society gives him wider access to deadly weapons: cars, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, guns. Children between the ages of 15 and 19 are three times more likely to die from all causes--with accidents, murder, suicide, and drugs all playing a role--than those ages 10 to 14, reports the National Center for Health Statistics.

And the number of risks today's teens are taking staggers most parents: Seventy-eight percent of high school students have tried alcohol, and more than 5 million admit to binge drinking at least once a month. The mean age of first use: 14. One out of five kids has sex before turning 15, reports the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, and many don't understand the risk of AIDS (so they may not take precautions to prevent it). About 58 percent of teenage boys don't wear seat belts--the lowest number of any group of licensed drivers.

Finally, Good News

Scary though the teen years are for parents, there's some hopeful news: Most kids not only survive, they flourish. Around age 16 or 17, Cauffman says, they start becoming more emotionally mature. (Whether this change is due to brain maturation is still under investigation, but the connection seems likely.) Older teens are better able to control their impulses, so reason has a chance to triumph over toilet-papering the neighbor's trees. And Spear estimates that 80 percent of kids grow into happy adults. Many of the remaining 20 percent--some unhappy, others plagued by such serious problems as substance abuse, depression, or schizophrenia--may sort themselves out eventually, too.

What's more, the teen brain's enormous plasticity also means that in some ways, this part of life is plenty of fun. Young people learn (and master) countless athletic skills, hobbies, interests, and passions, and make huge strides in academic learning. Here are 12 ways experts say you can protect and nurture your teen while body and brain catch up with each other:

1. Be Strong and Be There Many parents, faced with a sullen teen, back off just when they're needed most. In fact, today's teens require hands-on parenting like never before. They're faced with more options (Should I take vocational classes or college prep? Play sports or get a job? Have sex or abstain?), yet they've never had to get by with so little help from caring adults because of divorce, parents' work schedules, and less contact with extended family, says Laurence Steinberg, PhD, professor of psychology at Temple University. Maintaining close contact, of course, isn't easy. Parents often say that every exchange turns into an argument. Stand your ground when it's in your teen's best interest (and when you're afraid of being the bad guy, it's good to remind yourself that it truly is in her best interest). Low-conflict chats are golden--look for every opportunity to start one. One way:

2. Eat Dinner Together Teens who eat dinner with their families six or seven nights a week are about half as likely to abuse drugs and alcohol as those who eat dinner together twice or less, according to a recent study from Columbia University's Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse.[pagebreak]

Kids Involved in Sports Stay out of Trouble

3. Let 'em Sleep New research from Brown University shows many teens are in a state of nearly constant sleep deprivation. While the average teen sleeps just over 7 hours a night, he needs 9 1/4 hours, and without plenty of high-quality REM sleep, teens can't learn well. It's kind of a cruel joke: The circadian clock, which governs sleep, pushes adolescents to stay up later and later at night, but it doesn't help them wake up in the morning. Melatonin, for example, the chemical that governs sleep, kicks in around 10:30 pm. That's why kids want to chat with their friends or start their homework when you're ready for bed. (This all changes by early adulthood.) Sniff for traces of tobacco, too: In addition to smoking's other risks, nicotine interferes with kids' sleep patterns.

4. Give 'em Safe Thrills Taking risks--particularly in groups--is a powerful urge. Don't fight it, experts say. Encourage adventurous kids to find ways to scratch this itch other than playing chicken on the highway. Scuba diving, rock climbing, mountain biking, skiing, snowboarding, and surfing are all great ways for them to explore their wild side while learning to make good decisions. Older teens can be junior firefighters or volunteer with the local ambulance squad.

5. Insist on Extracurricular Activities About 40 percent of a typical teen's waking hours are discretionary, and researchers have found strong correlations between a lot of free time and early sexual activity, drug use, drinking, and delinquency. Conversely, kids who consistently participate in extracurricular activities have better communication skills, fewer psychosocial problems, and decreased drug and alcohol use and involvement in violence; they also experience increased academic achievement. But they don't have to be scheduled for something every waking minute: Even kids involved in supervised extracurricular activities for as little as 1 to 4 hours a week are 49 percent less likely to use drugs and 37 percent less likely to become teen parents, reports the US Department of Health and Human Services. Involvement in sports is particularly effective at preventing risky behaviors in both boys and girls. Studies show that teens who exercise on their own are also less likely to use drugs or engage in risky sexual activity than their nonexercising peers. 6. Talk about the Real Risks of Drinking Teens and alcohol have always been a bad combination: Drunk teens do stupid things, and early exposure to alcohol increases the odds of your child becoming an alcoholic. (Kids who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcoholism than those who don't drink until 21, according to a study in the Journal of Substance Abuse.) But researchers are now recognizing even more alarming risks: Teens who experiment early with alcohol appear to do permanent damage to portions of the brain that govern memory and problem-solving skills. Recent research from the University of California, San Diego, for example, found that teens ages 15 to 17, with a history of 100 drinking episodes, were "found to use fewer strategies when learning new information, and retain less information." They also had poorer attention skills, and MRIs revealed lower memory function. Duke University researchers, experimenting with laboratory animals, have found that the hippocampus, the portion of the brain that governs emotion and memory, is ultrasensitive to alcohol during adolescence and actually shrinks.

7. Put 'em to Work University of Minnesota sociologist Jeylan Mortimer found that teens who hold down an after-school job (working as much as 20 hours a week) get many benefits their nonworking peers don't, including improved confidence, time-management skills, academic success, and an increased ability to manage on-the-job stress when they become adults. Plus, having more interaction with unrelated adults provides a new source of role models and can buffer strains at home.

8. Watch Their Wallets Kids with too much spending money are not only more likely to smoke cigarettes, they are also more likely to use drugs, including alcohol. The highest-risk group? Teenage girls with access to more than $50 a week. Limit your daughter's allowance, and if she's working an after-school job, make sure you're keeping track of how much she makes and where it goes. (Some should be going into a car fund.)[pagebreak]

Cigarettes Today, Booze Tomorrow?

9. Get Up on Your Soapbox While it's easy to believe teens are totally tuning parents out, a Roper poll found that 71 percent of teens say that parental influence has stopped them from using alcohol. Another study found that teens with mothers who voiced their disapproval of teen sex were more likely to abstain than those with mothers who kept their opinions to themselves. What's more, 88 percent of teens say it would be easier for them to postpone sexual activity if they and their parents could have more honest, open conversations about sex. Car rides, in which kids are a captive audience, can be good times to start such conversations, but experts also suggest using something in your child's world as a jumping-off point. So share what you really think about the sexual values expressed in the lyrics to "Shake Your Tail Feather."

10. Appeal to Their Vanity Psychologists attribute kids' resistance to health warnings to a trait called cognitive egocentrism, says Allan Williams, PhD, a social psychologist and teen-driving specialist at the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. "They think, 'Bad things happen to other people, not to me.'" Experts say calling on their vanity--and other short-term, here-and-now concerns--is a good way to pierce that bulletproof demeanor. "Smoking ruins your skin," "Genital warts are hideous," and "They don't make maternity prom dresses" all resonate with kids in a way that long-term consequences don't.

11. Respect Their Privacy, but Know When It's Time to Snoop "A good parent-child relationship is based on trust," says Ruth Peters, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Laying Down the Law. That means, as a rule, keeping your paws off your teen's e-mail and diary, and out of her dresser drawers. If you suspect that your child is engaging in illegal or dangerous activities, talk to her about it first. If she denies it and you have proof or feel strongly that she's lying, it's not just your right but your responsibility to snoop. How will you know if your teen is heading for trouble? Red flags include depression, substance use, a dramatic decline in grades, or anything that suggests your teen might be thinking about suicide--such as threats, an obsession with death, giving away personal belongings, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, and exaggerated changes in appearance or behavior. 12. Understand What Matters to Kids That would be everything, even things you think shouldn't. Multiply your child's brain tumult by the number of kids in the school cafeteria, and you'll see just how unstable her world is. Try not to be too judgmental. When education writer Linda Perlstein spent a year trailing a group of sixth, seventh, and eighth graders to write Not Much Just Chillin': The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers, she was stunned by how quickly a clique could embrace one child or shun another. She watched one girl, for example, move from a popular crowd to virtual Siberia practically overnight, with no clue as to why. "I don't even think the girls who were excluding her knew why," Perlstein says. Given that volatility, she adds, it's not hard to understand why kids are such fierce conformists--at least, when it comes to their peers--insisting on the right jacket, the right shoes, the right pants. "Can you imagine the bravery it would take, at age 12, to be a trendsetter?"

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IntroUntil recently, parents had only one explanation for the baffling behavior of teens: Clearly, they were hijacked by their rampaging hormones. But more and more, experts are discovering that the real reason for the eye rolling, sullen behavior, and burning desire to do stupid things that mark the turbulent adolescent years isn't just teens' surging hormones--it's their brains.

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I wonder if there was ever a teenager whose brain matured early.

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NIMH " Publications about Brain Anatomy and Physiology

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Lists NIMH Publications about Brain Anatomy and Physiology.

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I wonder why teens decide to get pregnant at a small age.

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There are many reasons that teenagers become pregnant. Some of them want to have babies. However, the fact of the matter is that most teen pregnancies are unintentional (80 percent). Additionally, most of them occur to unwed teen mothers. This means that even though most teens do not want to become pregnant, they are still becoming so as a result of sexual activity. While actual force to have sex is rare, many teenage girls (especially those under the age of 15) feel pressured to have sex. And, of course, the more intercourse a teenager has, the more likely it is that a teen pregnancy will eventually result.
Unwanted sexual intercourse
Rape does happen and is one of the reasons that teen pregnancies occur. Rape by boyfriends, family members and even strangers can result in teen pregnancy. However, many teenagers feel pressure of a more subtle kind. Most teenage girls who engage in sexual activity, and especially those who do so before the age of 15, admit that they wish they had waited. But often they feel pressure from their boyfriends: three out of four girls (75 percent) report that the reason they have sex is because their boyfriends want them to. Most of these teens regret it later, whether or not they become pregnant.
Inconsistent use of birth control
Even though the use of contraceptives has increased among teenagers, its use remains spotty. Teens may use birth control to help prevent teen pregnancy, but most do not use contraceptives consistently. Erratic contraceptive use, however, is better than none. A sexually active teen that does not use any birth control has a 90 percent chance of becoming pregnant within a year. Some of the reasons that birth control is not used include the following: uneducated about birth control, uncomfortable using birth control methods and unable to access reliable birth control.

Abstinence-only sex education*

Despite recent government efforts to fund abstinence-only sex education, the vast majority of teenaged boys and girls (62 percent and 70 percent) have initiated vaginal sex by the age of 18. Because of their nature, abstinence-only programs leave out educational information on birth control. These programs have never been shown to actually reduce the incidence of teen pregnancy. However, they are the programs that receive the most funding from the government. There are state governments that forbid any sort of teen sex education in schools at all. This means that teens that experiment may not have information on birth control and are more likely to engage in activity that results in teen pregnancy.

Despite governmental focus on abstinence-only education, a majority of parents feel that sex education in schools should include information about contraceptives in addition to abstinence. 89 percent of parents feel that in addition to education about the benefits of teen abstinence, teenagers should also receive education on condoms and other birth control methods. Only 15 percent of American adults feel that abstinence-only education should be taught in schools. Most medical organizations and practitioners support comprehensive sex education.

The Reasons Teens Get Pregnant Sources:

"Teen Pregnancy Stats, Facts and Prevention," FamilyFirstAid. [Online.]

* "Effective Sex Education," Advocates

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The Reasons Teens Get Pregnant - Teen Help

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There are many reasons that teenagers become pregnant. Some of them want to have babies. However, the fact of the matter is that most teen pregnancies are unintentional (80 percent). Additionally, most of them occur to unwed teen mothers.

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I wonder how our brain develops as we become adults...

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Like the rest of your body, your brain changes with each passing year. From the time we are infants, our brains are adapting, learning, making memories and more. We become smarter and sharper, earning the wisdom that truly only comes with life experience. The less desirable effects of the march of time can certainly be felt, too. You may recognize them: An ever-lost set of keys, a to-do that never seems to stay top of mind, a name that's on the tip of your tongue.

Once we hit our late twenties, the brain's aging process begins and we begin losing neurons-the cells that make up the brain and nervous system. By our sixties, our brains have literally begun to shrink. Though these brain changes may sound a bit scary, the process is natural and it happens to everyone.

Learn how your brain changes as you age to get a better handle on what is happening in this magical part of your body. Then, review some of the things that you can do to help preserve brain health. Though some change is inevitable, some can be warded off with a healthy lifestyle. Here's how you can take an active role in slowing negative effects and working to stay sharper, longer.

Birth to Toddler Years
You are born with basic survival skills, reflexes and most of the 100 billion neurons that you'll have for the duration of your life. The brain grows incredibly rapidly during these early years: Neurons get bigger, work more efficiently and-as a result of environmental input and stimuli-make trillions of connections that fine-tune everything from hearing to vision. By two years old, your brain is about 80 percent of its adult size.

Early to Middle Childhood
About 85 percent of brain development has occurred by now, including intellect, personality and motor and social skills. A child's brain has twice as many synapses as an adult's brain. In a process called pruning, the neural connections that are used and reinforced most often-like those used for language-are strengthened, while the ones that are not utilized as much fizzle and die. (That's why parents are often encouraged to repeat certain activities, like reading books, with their kids every day.)

Teens
At this point the brain reaches its adult weight of about three pounds. Increased activity in the frontal lobes allows a teenager to compare several concepts at once.

20s
The regions in the frontal lobe that are responsible for judgment, planning, weighing risks and decision-making finally finish developing. A twenty-something's brain has reached its peak in terms of performance.

Late 20s to Early 30s
Reasoning, spatial skills and speed of thought begin to decline around now. As you age, your brain goes through changes that can slow down your thinking: It loses volume, the cortex becomes thinner, the myelin sheath surrounding the fibers of your neurons begins to degrade, and your brain receptors don't fire as quickly.

Mid 30s
What was that woman's name, again? In your 30s, memory begins to slip as the number of neurons in the brain decreases. It may take longer to learn new things or memorize words or names. This process continues in the decades ahead.

40s and 50s
From your mid 40s to late 50s, your reasoning skills slow. In a group of people who were first tested on various mental abilities when they were 45-49 years old, reasoning skills declined by 3.6 percent over 10 years, according to research in the British Medical Journal. The middle-age participants also experienced fading sharpness in memory and verbal fluency-the ability to say words quickly in a specific category. On the upside, other measures of cognition-such as moral decision-making, regulating emotions and reading social situations-have been shown to improve beginning with middle age. Experts suspect that simply living life and gaining experience deserves some of the credit. (Bonus fact: Starting at around age 40, people tend to remember positive images more than negative ones-a trend that continues until at least age 80.)

60s
The brain has begun to shrink in size and, after a lifetime of gaining accumulated knowledge, it becomes less efficient at accessing that knowledge and adding to it. The greatest risk factor for Alzheimer's is advancing age, and most individuals with the disease are 65 or older. Surprisingly, when Alzheimer's hits people in their 60s and 70s, they show faster rates of brain tissue loss and cognitive decline compared to patients 80 years and older, according to researchers at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine. Researchers aren't sure why Alzheimer's is more aggressive in younger patients, but suspect that people who develop symptoms later in life may have milder cases-or cases that that take longer to reveal themselves.

70s and 80s
Your risk of developing Alzheimer's increases with age, reaching 50 percent by age 85. Researchers aren't sure why the risk jumps so dramatically as we get older, but it's possible the disease is linked to inflammation, a natural part of aging that can lead to a build-up of deposits in areas like the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for forming new memories. These deposits may also interfere with long-term memory. Along with aging, many experts think that genes and lifestyle contribute to the majority of Alzheimer's and dementia cases.
Proven Brain Boosters
Even the healthiest among us cannot stop our brains from changing with time. That being said, certain behaviors can help your brain stay as sharp as possible:

Break a Sweat. Exercise pumps blood to the brain and encourages the growth of new brain cells-and you don't have to spend hours at the gym to get the positive effects. Research shows that regular aerobic exercise, like walking or cycling, for 30 minutes a day reduces brain cell loss. (Regular physical activity can also significantly reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, diabetes and more.)

Challenge Yourself. Studies show that mentally stimulating activities may help reverse cognitive decline. Just as lifting dumbbells strengthens your muscles, keeping your mind engaged seems to increase the brain's vitality and may build its reserves of brain cells and connections. Do stimulating activities that you enjoy: Read, write, put together a jigsaw puzzle, work on crosswords...it all counts.

Listen to Music. A study in the journal Neuron showed that listening to music may sharpen the brain's ability to anticipate events and stay focused. Researchers took an MRI of people's brains while they were listening to symphony music, and then when they weren't. When music played, the areas of the brain involved with paying attention, making predictions and accessing memories were engaged; the same couldn't be said when it was quiet.

Nurture Your Relationships. Invest in your bonds with friends and loved ones. Experts suspect that social interaction requires you to engage the areas of the brain involved in memory and attention, the same mental processes that are used in many cognitive tasks. Furthermore, one study revealed that activities that combine social interaction with physical and mental activity may help prevent dementia. Sign up for a dance class, which allows you to spend time with pals, get moving and challenge your brain as it works to keep up with all those tricky steps.

Eat Wisely. Certain foods are rich in vitamins and other nutrients that can help thwart threats to your brain health. For example, regularly eating vibrantly-hued fruits and vegetables, which have high levels of disease-fighting antioxidants, will help counteract disease-causing free radicals throughout the body, including the brain. Cook meals with ingredients containing mono- and polyunsaturated fats, which can improve levels of HDL ("good") cholesterol and-according to research-may help protect brain cells.

Drink in Moderation. While we do not recommend taking up drinking alcoholic beverages, you might be surprised to learn that drinking alcohol sparingly may be beneficial to your brain. At least five studies have linked low-dose alcohol consumption-a drink a day for women, two for men-with a reduced risk of dementia in older adults. Be careful not to go outside those limits: Heavy alcohol use has been linked to an increased risk of dementia and cognitive decline, among other health concerns.

Stay Smoke-Free. Smoking can affect your body's ability to deliver to the brain oxygen and nutrients that help keep it healthy, and some studies have indicated that it can even speed up the brain's natural aging process. Smoking can also lead to the formulation of plaques that can contribute to dementia.

Protect Your Head. Experts think that there may be a connection between serious head injury and Alzheimer's disease, especially when trauma occurs repeatedly or involves loss of consciousness. Protect your brain by wearing a seatbelt, using a helmet when participating in sports and fall-proofing your home.

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Like the rest of your body, your brain changes with each passing year. From the time we are infants, our brains are adapting, learning, making memories and more. We become smarter and sharper, earning the wisdom that truly only comes with life experience. The less desirable effects of the march of time can certainly be felt, too.

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I wonder when teen are mature enough to take responsibility

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did you know

In general, teenagers want to make their own decisions before parents want to let them.

Responsibility and teenagers: what you need to know

During the teenage years, children's need for responsibility and autonomy gets stronger - it's an important part of their path to young adulthood. To become capable adults, teenagers need to learn to make good decisions on their own.

The process of helping children take responsibility and make decisions is a key task for parents. You have an important role in training and supporting your child to be ready for more responsibility. This means you need to plan when and in what areas to let your child start making decisions.

How quickly you hand over responsibility to your child is up to you. It depends on things like your own comfort level, your family and cultural traditions, and your child's maturity.

Ideally, you and your child should both feel comfortable with the shift of responsibility and the pace of change. Too much or too soon might leave you both feeling overwhelmed. Too little or too slow might end up with your child feeling impatient or rebellious.

How to start shifting responsibility: yes, no and maybe

Shifting responsibility to your child is a gradual process. It starts with letting your child make her own choices in some areas, or asking her to take on responsibility for certain things. You might not like all your child's choices, but learning to be responsible helps your child develop skills for life.

When you're thinking about whether to give your child more responsibility or to ask him to take on more responsibility, you have three options - yes, no and maybe.

The 'yes' option
This is for issues or activities that you feel your child:

is ready to take on - for example, walking or riding to school by herself

should be expected to take on - for example, cooking a family meal once a week or paying for her own clothes from her pocket money

should be up to your child - choosing her own hair cut or clothes.

When you put something in the 'yes' basket, you're saying that you'll accept your child's decision, even if it's not what you would prefer, or you'll expect him to take on the task.

If your child handles the responsibility in a way you like, you can show your approval. If you don't like the decision, stand back and try not to step in, unless you think your child is in danger. These are opportunities for your child to learn from experience.

The 'no' option
You might say 'no' to decisions that relate to potentially dangerous activities.

For example, these might involve things teenagers aren't yet legally allowed to decide for themselves, like drinking alcohol. Or they might be things that could have a negative impact on other members of the family - for example, if your child's decision would cost a lot of money.

Making the 'no' option work is about good communication and setting clear limits on behaviour. For example, the way you say 'no' matters. Giving the impression you absolutely forbid something might not be as helpful as saying, 'I am not going to agree to this at this stage because ...'.

The 'maybe' option
This is the grey area. You and your child might be able to negotiate a way to turn a 'no' into a 'yes,' depending on the circumstances. This might involve letting your child try something new to see how it goes - for example, letting your child go to the skatepark with her friends one afternoon a week.

Negotiating is where the growth happens. When you turn a 'no' or 'maybe' into a 'yes', your child gets the chance to show you that he's ready for more responsibility.

Deciding when you and your child are ready to shift responsibility

Everyone is different. You might need to experiment to work out when and in what areas your child is ready for more responsibility.

A good way to start is to use family meetings to give your child a real voice in important decisions. This helps your child feel valued. It's also a good way for you to learn more about she deals with choices.

Here are some other things to consider.

Level of maturity
Some teenagers are more mature than others, and their ability to act responsibly varies from situation to situation. Think about your child's skills when deciding whether he's ready for responsibility. For example, a teenager who asks to go to the city with friends might be allowed to go if he has been responsible when going out with friends at other times.

Learning from experience
Teenagers need the opportunity to work some things out for themselves. If there is no immediate danger, life can be an effective teacher too. This approach also has the benefit of giving you more time to manage and enjoy your own life. It gives your child the chance to show you how responsible she can be too.

Legality
With drinking, smoking and education or employment, for example, there are legal issues to think about, as well as your child's health and wellbeing:

The legal drinking age in all Australia states and territories is 18 years. Australian guidelines say that young people under the age of 15 should have no alcohol at all, and health experts recommend waiting until 18 years.

Until they're 17, young people must be in full-time work, at school, in training or a combination of work and training.

It's illegal to buy cigarettes under the age of 18 years.

These things need to stay in the 'no' category, regardless of what other teenagers do and other parents allow.

Level of risk
Teenagers don't always think about long-term consequences, and they sometimes want to do things that put their safety and wellbeing at risk. You might decide that going to an all-night party involves more risk than benefit, but going to a late movie screening might be fine.

Impact on others
If your child's choices are unfair or hurtful to others, you might choose to keep some control.

For example, if your child chooses to play loud music late at night, you might not let him make that decision if it disturbs other members of the family. Ground rules like 'Music gets turned down after 9 pm' also help when your child wants to make choices that affect others.

Your family values
Are you willing to let your child make decisions or behave in ways that clash with your values? For example, parents who believe kindness and tolerance are important probably won't let their child behave disrespectfully towards others.

Looking after yourself
Parents also set boundaries to protect their own rights and needs. You might say 'no' if your child's request is unreasonable or places an unfair burden on you - for example, driving children around all day, or paying for lots of expensive equipment.

Your ultimate aim is to give your child autonomy in more important areas, like going out unsupervised or making decisions about future study or employment.

Potential problems with shifting responsibility

Too little
If you don't let your child have any responsibility, she has no chance to make decisions and learn through experience.

Too much
When responsibility comes too fast, teenagers might end up making bad decisions and undermining their confidence by doing things they're not quite ready for. If you and your teenager aren't sure about a new responsibility, you could use problem-solving to work out whether your child is ready for it.

When rules are broken
Staying connected to your child is the best way to ensure that rules you've agreed on are respected. But most teenagers will challenge the rules at some point. It's one of the things that teenagers do as part of testing boundaries. You might want to decide and agree on consequences for when rules are broken.

When decisions go bad
Decision-making is a learning experience for your child. Not all of his decisions will be good ones. Problem-solving can help you work with your child to make better decisions and learn from mistakes.

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Responsibility and teenagers | Raising Children Network

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In general, teenagers want to make their own decisions before parents want to let them. During the teenage years, children's need for responsibility and autonomy gets stronger - it's an important part of their path to young adulthood. To become capable adults, teenagers need to learn to make good decisions on their own.

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I wonder when does the brain mature, not the body.

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20s and beyond According to recent findings, the human brain does not reach full maturity until at least the mid-20s. (See J. Giedd in References.) The specific changes that follow young adulthood are not yet well studied, but it is known that they involve increased myelination and continued adding and pruning of neurons.

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I wonder if teens that get pregnant thought about their actions before they took them

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I wonder if a teenager has ever broke up with somebody, with a social media post?

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I wonder if the people around you effect your maturity growing up?

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Abstract

We examine whether hardship while growing up shapes subjective age identity, as well as three types of experiences through which it may occur. Drawing on data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, we find that hardship in several domains during childhood and adolescence is associated with feeling relatively older and self-identifying as an adult in the late teens and twenties. Specifically, young people who as adolescents felt unsafe in their schools or neighborhoods, witnessed or were victims of violence, had fewer economic resources in the household, and lived in certain family structures, reported older subjective ages (by one or both measures). We find no evidence that hardship's association with subjective age is mediated by work responsibilities in adolescence or by anticipating a very curtailed life span, but entering adult roles earlier mediates or partially mediates many of these relationships.

Sociologists recognize age as one of the most fundamental categories organizing social life ( Riley, Foner, and Waring 1988; Settersten and Mayer 1997). However subjective age is equally or more important than chronological age in many processes (e.g., Bowling et. al 2005; Montepare and Lachman 1989; Neugarten and Hagestad 1976). Subjective age captures self-perceptions of one's age, often expressed in terms of relative age, such as how old one feels compared to others of the same chronological age, or the age group with which one identifies ( Settersten and Mayer 1997). Social science has recently witnessed a growing interest in the subjective side of aging during the early life course, including pseudomaturity in adolescence (e.g., Galambos et al. 1999; Greenberger and Steinberg 1986) and young people's understanding of what it means to grow up and be an adult (e.g., Arnett 2000; Shanahan et al. 2005; Macmillan 2007).

In addition to interest in the cultural meaning attached to maturity and adult status, some of this newer research points to important variation in the pace of growing up. The idea that some children or adolescents grow up more quickly than others is not entirely new, however. The literatures on divorce and economic disadvantage both reveal themes of accelerated young lives. For example, Weiss (1979) suggested in the 1970s that divorce makes children "grow up a little faster," and consistently, recent research indicates that young people in their late teens and twenties from married biological-parent families feel younger and are less likely to consider themselves adults than young people with other family structures ( Benson and Furstenberg 2007; Johnson, Berg, and Sirotizki 2007a, b). Similarly, consistent with Elder's (1974) characterization of adolescents' lives in economically pressed families during the Great Depression, recent ethnographic accounts of poor inner-city youth suggest children and teenagers age into adulthood very quickly in these settings ( Burton, Obeidallah, and Allison 1996; Kotlowitz 1991). Family disruption and poverty, along with other conditions of deprivation or stress like feeling unsafe in daily life, represent key hardships implicated in subjective aging during the early life course.

We build on the foundation provided by these studies to better understand who grows up more quickly and why. We argue that hardships are linked to older subjective ages because they affect three bases of age identities, all of which are grounded in age-normative understandings of the life course: earlier timing of entry into age-graded roles, earlier assumption of responsibilities, and expectations for a shorter life span. We draw on nationally representative data from eighteen to twenty-six year olds in the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health to examine whether hardship experienced in several domains during childhood and adolescence is related to the sense of being older than one's age peers and, for the youngest in our sample, identifying as an adult. We also examine whether these relationships operate through three types of mediating experiences consistent with our argument. Because identity shapes behavioral choice ( Stryker and Burke 2000), and this stage in the life course involves critical decisions affecting life trajectories of education, work, and family, it is important to understand influences on age identity in young people. Our research helps build an understanding of how the social contexts in which individuals grow up shape their identity. Our findings also contribute to important debates in the life-course tradition involving the import of adult role transitions and the nature of age-norms in contemporary society.

THE LIFE COURSE AND AGE IDENTITIES

As other life-course scholars have also done, we view subjective age identity, and identities more broadly, as part of the self-concept (e.g., George, Mutran, and Pennybacker 1980; Kaufman and Elder 2003). As such, it is part of one's perception of oneself as an object, in this case a subjective assessment of one's chronological age. The self-concept develops in interactions with others, particularly significant others, and is influenced by cultural, social structural, and historical forces ( Gecas and Burke 1995). Roles and other structural features of societies provide expectations that guide behavior in interaction and provide external, socially agreed-upon standards for comparison and evaluation.

Identity theory, arguably the dominant perspective on self and identity in sociological social psychology, specifically links the self to social structure via roles. Indeed, the theory defines identities as internalized role expectations, or, alternatively, the meanings people attach to the many roles they play ( Stryker and Burke 2000). MacMillan (2007) notes that this dominant conceptualization, and subsequent research foci, have left several gaps in knowledge of identities to date. First, he notes that many of the roles in which identities are based are age-graded, and that normative timetables for the life course indicate the appropriate timing of major role transitions. These social aspects of aging are a product of culture, varying historically and across subgroups, making up an important part of the "meanings" people attach to roles. As Settersten and Mayer (1997) observe, age, along with sex, is the primary source of variation in social and cultural expectations for life experiences and roles. Societies are age-structured, and Macmillan's critique reflects the underacknowledged role of age-related expectations and meanings involved in identity processes. In addition, Macmillan (2007) points out that roles "aggregate to define particular life stages and serve in an almost taken for granted manner as the master statuses of one's identity" (2007:15). Internalized expectations for what it means to be a child, adolescent, or adult are therefore crucial to identity.

Among these expectations are age norms that prescribe appropriate behavior for someone in a particular life stage. The contemporary Western view of childhood has been called a "sentimental perspective" for its understanding of children as priceless, innocent, and in need of protection ( Best 1990). This view idealizes happy, carefree childhoods. Cultural constructions of childhood thus entail expectations of both innocence and freedom from adult responsibilities, roles, or burdens, and these notions take the form of age norms. Childhood, and to a good extent adolescence, are also organized around a norm of dependence ( Macmillan 2007). Again, this limits adolescents' responsibilities and puts parameters on adolescents' relationships to parents or those on whom they depend.

Although movement in and out of roles across the life course has been acknowledged as important (e.g., Wells and Stryker 1988), very little work (inside or outside of identity theory) takes on these life-course themes and their implications for identity. We gain leverage in understanding age identities by taking the role-based conceptualization of identities from identity theory, but also by adding consideration of these internalized age-related cultural expectations. Specifically, we argue that violating age norms for childhood and adolescence challenges the child or adolescent identity and accelerates subjective aging. A young person's understanding of herself as relatively older (or younger) emerges as she perceives that her experience violates age norms for someone her age. We focus on three (non-exhaustive) types of age-norm violations through which young people develop older age identities: assuming adult social roles, accumulating the responsibilities and performing the tasks of an adult, and anticipating a highly curtailed life span (i.e., an early death). We begin by discussing these three types of experiences and then complete the circle by returning to articulate how specific forms of hardship accelerate subjective aging through them.

Behavior and age identity are likely reciprocally related across the full life course. While we focus on the effects of hardship on age identity through a process in which engaging in non-normatively older behaviors lead to older age identities, it is possible that there is actually a bidirectional relationship involved whereby those with older age identities also engage in behaviors considered normative for older ages. Because our primary interest is in building an understanding of how hardship fosters growing up faster, we focus on the ways behavior and experience can affect identity in this study.

Earlier Assumption of Age-graded Roles

Consistent with the conceptualization of identities in identity theory, we expect that identities are based in social roles. Importantly, many roles are age-graded, and studies confirm that age identities are grounded in the age-graded social roles that make up the life course, including parent, grandparent, and retiree ( George 1990; Logan, Ward, and Spitze 1992; Neugarten 1977). Age-related cultural meaning attached to roles provides a reference point in understanding one's age. Being a grandparent is something "older" people do. In fact, transitioning to roles such as grandparent earlier than others is associated with older subjective ages ( Kaufman and Elder 2003).

With respect to the adolescent and young adult life course, earlier entry into the "adult" roles of marriage, parenthood, full-time work, and living independently from parents should, accordingly, foster older subjective ages. Compared to others of one's chronological age, those who have transitioned into these roles should feel older, and recent studies confirm this expectation ( Benson and Furstenberg 2007; Johnson et al. 2007a; Foster, Hagan, and Brooks-Gunn 2008). Occupying these roles is often inconsistent with an understanding of oneself as a child or adolescent.

The meaning of adult social roles in the life course is subject to much debate, however, particularly given growing variability in the timing and configuration of these roles ( Fussell and Furstenberg 2005). Normative timetables for adult role transitions are historically variable and may also be weaker now than they have been for some time. Many scholars argue that the life course has become more individualized ( Buchmann 1989), with fewer normative and institutional constraints and more opportunities to chart one's own path. Overall delays in family formation have been combined with frequent movement back and forth between school and work and between living independently and in the parental home ( Shanahan 2000).

In this context, Arnett (2000) has argued that role transitions are no longer used as criteria for defining adulthood, and his studies show that very few people of any age indicate that traditional role transitions like marriage and parenthood are necessary for young people to achieve adult status. Instead, he argues, it is the development of adult personal qualities like responsibility that now define adulthood in contemporary Western societies. Yet, research by Furstenberg et al. (2003) indicates that key adult roles (e.g., completing school, achieving financial independence, working full-time, and establishing an independent household) are viewed as important markers in considering someone an adult. Additionally, evidence of age-based expectations for transitions to adulthood exists in violations that occur at very late or very early ages, as demonstrated by Settersten (1998) in failing to leave home and Mollborn (2007) in teenage pregnancy. Thus we expect that young people who have made transitions to adult social roles will report older subjective age identities.

Earlier Assumption of Responsibilities

Those who have argued for the continued relevance of adult role transitions in marking adulthood have also endorsed the idea that adulthood is marked by qualities of character such as responsibility ( Shanahan et al. 2005; Johnson et al. 2007a). Indeed, responsibility for self ( Arnett 2000), or self and others ( Pallas 2007; Andrew et al. 2007; Macmillan 2007), is emerging as one of the key themes in current research on what it means to grow up and become an adult.

When children and adolescents take on a level of responsibility that is understood as more typical for those at older ages, they are likely to see themselves as older than their age peers. And in taking on adult responsibilities, young people begin to feel like adults. Certain responsibilities during childhood and adolescence can be expected to challenge cultural understandings of these life stages as relatively carefree and dependent upon others. These could include taking on significant responsibility in child or elder care or in household management and housework. It could also include taking on adult-like paid work responsibilities, becoming financially independent, or making financial contributions to support others. Though there is little extant research on the subject, Benson and Furstenberg (2007) show levels of both household and financial responsibilities in late adolescence are associated with identifying as an adult at age 21 in a predominantly working poor and working-class sample. Thus we expect that young people who held greater responsibilities as adolescents will report older subjective age identities.

Perceived Location in the Life Span

Another basis for age identities may lie in perceptions of where one is located in the life span. Research finds that subjective aging during midlife involves facing one's own mortality and a reorientation toward time in which one begins to think of one's life as time left rather than time since birth ( Neugarten 1968). This suggests that perhaps subjective age can become a measure of nearness to the end of life rather than time since it began. Those who look toward the future and see a sharply curtailed life course may feel older than others their age.

Most research on this process has focused on midlife and beyond. Yet any significant sense of being near the end of one's life during childhood and adolescence violates dominant normative timetables that assume living into old age and should also accelerate subjective aging. Those facing life-threatening risks in childhood and adolescence do report feeling older and that they grew up quickly ( Burton et al. 1996; Parry and Chesler 2005). Thus we expect that young people who anticipate a sharply curtailed life span will report older subjective age identities.

HARDSHIP AND SUBJECTIVE AGE

Having identified several bases for understanding accelerated subjective aging during childhood and adolescence, we now return to the question of why hardship during this period in the life course might be linked to growing up faster in terms of subjective age. We argue that hardships foster older age identities because they tend to propel children and adolescents toward experiences that challenge cultural norms about childhood and adolescence. In this section we discuss three forms of hardship during the early life course with a focus on how older subjective ages develop through the processes we have identified above.

By considering multiple forms of hardship, we can assess common and disparate experiences to the benefit of theory development. The three hardships on which we focus, family disruption, poverty, and living with violence and fear for one's safety, are also interrelated. The highest rate of poverty, for example, occurs among single-mother families ( U.S. Census Bureau 2007), and rates of witnessing or experiencing violence during adolescence are inversely related to household income ( Crouch et al. 2000). Our simultaneous consideration allows us to evaluate whether they also have independent effects.

Each hardship can be understood in a rich literature to which we cannot do justice in this brief discussion. For example, Amato's (2000) review of research on divorce shows how both the severity and duration of consequences for children are affected by children's own coping skills, the degree of social support they receive, parental conflict and adjustment, as well as factors of gender, age, and custody arrangements. Similarly, what poverty means for children's lives depends on its duration and timing in the life course as well as parenting strategies and families' ecological locations with respect to services and the resources of schools and neighborhoods ( Seccombe 2000). Although mindful of this complexity, we focus our discussion rather narrowly on how these hardships can be related to the earlier acquisition of responsibilities, earlier transitions to adult roles, and anticipating a sharply curtailed life span.

Family Structure

Family structure in childhood and adolescence may affect subjective aging because it is linked to responsibilities in the family as well as the timing of entry into adult roles. In his classic piece that first suggested that some youth grow up faster, Weiss (1979:101) argued that children in single-parent homes grow up faster because they often became "junior partners" in household management. This often meant doing more housework and taking on higher levels of responsibility compared to children in married-parent families. Consistent with this argument, studies have shown that children and adolescents in single-parent families do more housework on average than those in married biological-parent families, with those in stepfamilies falling in between (Cooney and Mortimer 2000; Goldscheider and Waite 1991). If children and adolescents in certain family structures perceive that they do housework and have other responsibilities that are more normative for older ages, they may develop older age identities.

Family structure is also related to the average timing of certain adult role transitions, including a tendency to leave home earlier among children in a variety of family patterns other than those headed by married biological parents (e.g., Cooney and Mortimer 2000; Aquilino 1991). On average, young people from single-parent and step-parent families leave school earlier, experience their first sex earlier, are more likely to experience a pre-marital birth, and form unions earlier than those from intact married families (e.g., Musick and Bumpass 1999). Role performance in "adult" statuses is inconsistent with cultural expectations for childhood and adolescence. Through participating in adult role relationships and being treated as an adult, the young person begins to feel more like an adult.

Poverty and Low Socioeconomic Status

Economic hardship is also likely to accelerate subjective aging through the earlier assumption of responsibilities and earlier movement into adult roles. For many youth, economic hardship involves what Elder ([1974]1999) calls a "downward extension of adultlike experience," including increased contributions to the family via household or paid labor. Young people from lower income families also take on heavier work loads outside the home, working longer hours at paid jobs ( Mortimer 2003). Middle-class youth are also often employed, but they are less likely to work at high intensities of 20 hours per week or more and less likely to work in higher earning, more stressful, adult-like jobs ( Mortimer 2003). Poor youth are also more likely to give part of their wages to family members or pay for expenses that parents would cover under better economic circumstances ( Newman 1999). Shouldering a level of financial responsibility that is more normative for older ages, and more consistent with conceptions of adulthood, may foster a sense of being older, or grown up, at younger ages.

Burton and colleagues' (1996) research on poor, inner-city, minority families illustrates this process well. They note that at young ages, children and adolescents are often treated as adults in their families. One young man from this study, clearly conveying the adult-like level of responsibility he shoulders, explains how inconsistent the role expectations he faces in school are from his family experience:

Sometimes I just don't believe how this school operates and thinks about us. Here I am a grown man. I take care of my mother and have raised my sisters. Then I come here and this know-nothing teacher treats me like I'm some dumb kid with no responsibilities. I am so frustrated. They are trying to make me something that I am not. Don't they understand I am a man and I been a man longer than they been a woman?

Burton (1990) argues that among very poor minorities, an accelerated timetable for the life course has become normative in response to environmental constraints. This suggests that these young people age faster, and feel adult earlier, than other young people. Yet, as evident in this young man's frustration, they still bump up against society's dominant age norms in their daily life. Larger cultural conceptions of childhood and adolescence are embedded into relationships at schools, are portrayed in mass media, and so on. Any disjuncture between local and dominant timetables could heighten the feeling of being older.

In addition to their higher level of responsibilities in their natal families, youth from lower socioeconomic backgrounds also experience more accelerated transitions into adult roles ( Buchmann 1989; Goldscheider and Goldscheider 1999). Normative timetables seem to reflect this behavioral pattern. Less educated and less affluent people expect that individuals should move through the sociodemographic transitions of adulthood, especially marriage and parenthood, at earlier ages than do others ( Furstenberg et al. 2003; Settersten 2003). This may occur in part because socioeconomic status is positively associated with life expectancy. Geronimus (1996), for example, argues that low-income black women face accelerated physical aging and shorter life spans compared to middle-class and affluent women, even during the young adult years, such that infant health outcomes are better when mothers give birth in their teens compared to older ages. But we do not expect that low socioeconomic status affects subjective aging through anticipating a highly curtailed life span (i.e., expecting death in adolescence or young adulthood) in the way we do for the final hardship we consider, experiencing violence and lacking safety.

Safety and Violence

Violence and lack of safety in one's daily life can accelerate subjective aging by altering perceptions of where one is in the life span and by pushing young people into more adult-like responsibilities. When young people witness or experience violence and fear for their safety in their daily lives, it can raise the possibility (and sometimes the reality) of the end of one's life being nearer. One seventeen-year-old high-school senior in Burton et al.'s (1996) study balked, "Me, a teenager? Be for real, lady. Who's got time for that? I'm a man. I'd better be one before I lose my life out on these streets." Kotlowitz's (1991) interviews and observations in Chicago housing projects present similar themes. Youthful aspirations were couched in terms of "if I grow up" rather than "when."

The harshness of these experiences may also contribute to adult-like decision-making, responsibilities, and stresses. Kotlowitz (1991:xi) writes:

By the time they enter adolescence, they have contended with more terror than most of us confront in a lifetime. They have had to make choices that most experienced and educated adults would find difficult. They have lived with fear and witnessed death.

Confronting death and living in fear challenge the very notion of childhood ( Kotlowitz 1991), and thus those who feel unsafe and who experience non-normative levels of violence growing up should age more quickly in subjective terms.

METHODS

Data and Sample

This research uses data drawn from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (see SPQ website for additional information on Add Health, www.asanet.org/spq). Add Health began as a nationally representative study of American adolescents in grades 7-12 from 134 middle and high schools in 80 communities in 1994-1995. An in-school questionnaire was followed by in-home interviews with a subsample of students and one parent or parent-like figure in 1995 (Wave I) and with the adolescents again in 1996 (Wave II) and 2001-2002 (Wave III). The original sampling was conducted with a stratified design in which schools were selected from a complete list of American high schools based on their region, urbanicity, school type (public vs. private), racial composition, and size. Each of the selected high schools was matched to a school that fed into it, with the probability of the feeder school being selected proportional to its contribution to the high school's student body. We weighted all analyses and used survey analysis techniques to adjust for the complex sample design (see Chantala and Tabor 1999).

We use data collected in Waves I and III and restrict our analysis to those respondents participating in both waves who were assigned a sampling weight. We further restrict our analyses to those who were under age 19 at the first wave to exclude students with non-normative ages for high school, and those who reported dramatically inconsistent ages at Wave I and III, resulting in 13,868 eligible cases. Of these cases, 4.6 percent were omitted because of missing data, resulting in an analysis sample of 13,230. For reasons described below, part of our analyses draw only on data from respondents ages 22 and under at Wave III.

Respondents were asked questions on their subjective age identity for the first time in Wave III (ages 18-26), so our dependent variables are taken then. Our measures of hardship were all taken from Wave I, and our measures of mediating experiences come from both Waves I and III. Older age identities may emerge close in time to when hardship is experienced and persist into young adulthood. When the subjective aging process speeds up or skips ahead, young people are likely to continue to feel older even if the pace of aging returns to that comparable with age peers after hardship abates. Young people may also continue to feel older relative to peers because circumstances surrounding the hardship persist, or because they continue to draw on a repertoire of adult-like behaviors learned under hardship conditions when those conditions change. Precedent for similar long-term social psychological effects exists; Mirowsky and Ross (2000) found that economic hardship reduced subjective life expectancy by several years even if decades had passed since the tough times. Although we assume that older subjective ages among those experiencing hardship in childhood and adolescence may be evident at earlier ages, we cannot test this assumption. We evaluate whether such young people have older subjective ages several years later, at a time when they are making the transition to adulthood.

Measures

FINDINGS

Descriptive statistics on the study measures appear in . Consistent with our expectations, each type of hardship was significantly associated with both feeling relatively older and, for those aged 18-22, feeling adult. Those with older subjective ages were less likely to be living with both biological parents in adolescence and were disproportionately from poor or near-poor families. Those with older subjective ages also disproportionately felt unsafe and experienced higher levels of violence in adolescence.

Table 1

The measures of potential mediating experiences were also related to feeling relatively older and feeling adult as expected. Those with older subjective ages as young adults had been engaged in more frequent housework and more paid work than other adolescents. Those with older subjective ages were also less likely as adolescents to have expected to live to 35 and were more likely to have expected to be killed by 21. Finally, by Wave III they were more likely to have made each of the adult role transitions (parenthood, living on one's own, not being a student, marriage/cohabitation, and full-time work).

Several sociodemographic variables were also related to feeling relatively older and feeling adult. Those who felt older and adult all of the time were less likely to be white or Asian and more likely to be black. They were also disproportionately from families with less-educated parents and who had moved more recently. Chronological age, gender, and nativity were not associated with feeling older, but older respondents, women, and native-born respondents were more likely to report feeling adult.

We examined our hypotheses about hardship and the processes through which it shapes subjective age in a series of logistic regression models shown in for both dependent variables. Model 1 includes only the control variables. Transforming the regression coefficients to odds ratios (e b) indicates that blacks were 51 percent more likely to feel older (e.41 = 1.51) and (among eighteen to twenty-two year olds) 79 percent more likely to feel adult (e.58=1.79) compared with whites. Older respondents, those from families with less-educated parents, and those who had experienced more recent residential moves were also more likely to feel older and adult all the time. Additional control variables predicted feeling adult but not feeling older, including being female, being white compared to Latino, and being US-born.

Table 2

We introduced the hardship measures in Model 2. With respect to the family, living in other two-parent families, living with a single mother, or living in "other" family structures during Wave I increased the likelihood of feeling older in Wave III by 25 percent, 38 percent, and 55 percent, respectively. In terms of feeling adult, these increased likelihoods were 35 percent for other two-parent families and 60 percent for "other" family structures, but living with a single mother was not significant. The coefficient for single father was quite close to that for "other two-parent families" (the category dominated by stepfamilies), but did not reach statistical significance, owing in part to its smaller size. When economic hardship is considered without the other hardship domains, the two poorest income categories significantly predicted feeling older compared to the highest category (supplemental model not shown), but in Model 2 the only significant income difference was that respondents from 100-200 percent of the poverty line were 27 percent more likely to feel adult than those from the highest income category. We found through estimating several additional models (not shown), which considered the indicators of hardship singly and in combination, that adolescent family structure accounted for the relationship between economic hardship and feeling older. Feeling unsafe as an adolescent also predicted feeling older in young adulthood, as did experience of violence, increasing the likelihood of feeling older by 58 percent and 62 percent respectively. For feeling adult, only exposure to violence was significant, raising the likelihood by 40 percent. For both subjective age measures, "other family structures" compared to two-biological-parent families and experience of violence (as well as feeling unsafe for feeling older only) had the largest effects of all the hardship measures.

Several of the control variables' effects were attenuated with the introduction of these hardship measures in Model 2. Most notably, the coefficients for non-Latino black were reduced significantly. Reductions were also evident for chronological age, parental education, nativity, and residential mobility.

Model 3 examines whether the effects of hardship were mediated by adolescents' involvement in frequent housework or intensive paid work, anticipating a curtailed life course, and making adult role transitions. Frequent housework in adolescence predicted feeling adult and feeling older in young adulthood, and intensive paid work predicted feeling older in young adulthood. But because supplemental analyses (see supplemental tables provided at SPQ website, www.asanet.org/spq) show that adding only these variables to Model 2 did not significantly reduce the size of any of the hardship coefficients, they did not mediate any of the estimated hardship effects. We examined whether the effects of housework and paid work were stronger for younger sample members, but interaction terms were not statistically significant (not shown). Neither measure of expecting a very curtailed life course predicted subjective age in the multivariate models and therefore did not mediate any of the hardship effects.

Experiencing some types of adult role transitions by Wave III, however, was not only strongly associated with having an older subjective age, but also mediated some of the hardship effects (see Baron and Kenny 1986 for a discussion of mediation criteria). Having a child, not being a student, and being married or cohabiting predicted both feeling older and feeling adult. Living on one's own only predicted feeling older, while being a full-time worker only predicted feeling adult. Among the role transitions, marriage/cohabitation had the largest effect on feeling older, while parenthood had the largest effect on feeling adult. Among the hardship and role transition measures in Model 3, feeling unsafe had a larger effect than any of the role transitions on feeling older, but the effect of parenthood was largest on feeling adult; indeed, none of the hardship measures significantly predicted feeling adult once role transitions and the other potential mediators were included.

In conjunction with supplemental analyses (see note 6 and Model 3 of supplemental table A2 provided at SPQ website), the analyses show that the significant effects of hardships from each of the three domains were fully mediated by role transitions: "other" family structures for both dependent variables, "other two-parent family" structures for feeling older only, and 100-200 percent of the poverty line and experience of violence for feeling adult only. The associations of having a single mother and experience of violence with feeling older were partially mediated by role transitions, and "other two-parent family" structures were partially mediated by feeling adult. Of the hardships that were significant in Model 2, only the effect of feeling unsafe on feeling older was not at least partially mediated by role transitions. It is also notable that the effects of chronological age, gender, and nativity on feeling adult were substantially mediated in Model 3, as were the effects of parental education on both measures of subjective age.

Of course, hardship is not randomly distributed across the population; rather, it tends to be compounded. In bivariate analyses, respondents who experienced one category of hardship were significantly more likely to have experienced each other type of hardship (all p<.001; not shown). The cumulative effects of hardship across domains are evident in , in which we present the predicted probabilities of feeling older and feeling adult all the time for different hypothetical respondents. While experience with each type of hardship was positively associated with experiencing each other type, there was no small number of prevalent combinations of hardships which we could use to portray predicted probabilities. Instead, we illustrate the compounding effect by introducing each dimension of hardship and building on previous ones. The first set of predictions is based on Model 2, which includes all hardship measures. In these predictions, we set the value of continuous measures to their mean and categorical measures to their mode. We manipulated the values of several hardship measures systematically.

At the far left, we present the predicted probability of feeling older for an advantaged hypothetical respondent whose household income was in the highest category, who had two biological parents in the household, and did not feel unsafe or experience violence (with average values for all other variables). This scenario represents a very common pattern for respondents, 48 percent of whom did not experience any type of hardship. This hypothetical respondent had a low predicted probability of feeling older all the time at Wave III, at 0.12 (or a 12 percent likelihood of feeling older). His predicted probability of feeling adult all the time was 0.35, or a 35 percent likelihood of feeling adult. In comparison, 17 percent of all respondents felt older all the time and 37 percent felt adult all the time (weighted means).

The effect of changing the hypothetical respondent's family from two biological parents to another type of two-parent family (these were mostly stepfamilies) is shown next, increasing the probability of feeling older to 0.14 and of feeling adult to 0.42. Keeping that change in family structure and manipulating the hypothetical respondent's Wave I household income to below the poverty line raised these predicted probabilities to 0.18 and 0.46 respectively. Retaining these values and adding both feeling unsafe in one's neighborhood or school and being exposed to violence doubled the predicted probability of feeling older, to 0.36, while the predicted probability of feeling adult rose to 0.57. These predictions demonstrate that the effects of hardship on subjective age are cumulative across domains. As hardships compounded across the figure, the predicted probability of feeling older tripled and the predicted probability of feeling adult increased by 63 percent.

For the second comparison in , we used Model 3 from and manipulated the number of adult role transitions made by a hypothetical respondent who has experienced hardship across all domains. When he experienced no adult role transitions, his predicted probabilities of feeling older and feeling adult were 0.17 and 0.30, respectively, compared to 0.40 and 0.70 when he made all five transitions.

Sensitivity Analysis

Although our interest was in those with the oldest subjective ages (i.e., those who felt older or adult "all of the time"), we assessed whether our findings would change by altering the cut-off and including "most of the time" in our older subjective age category; we summarize the differences here (tables are available from the authors). For the analysis of feeling older in , hardship results differed in that the other two-parent family coefficient was not fully mediated in Model 3. The household income effects were also stronger. The 100-200 percent and 200-300 percent of poverty threshold coefficients were significant in Model 2, and they were reduced but remained significant in Model 3. So while below-poverty incomes are associated with feeling older "most" and "all the time" only through their association with family structure, incomes in the two categories just above the poverty line are associated with older relative age independent of family structure when we consider those who feel older most or all of the time. Feeling unsafe was not significantly related to feeling older in either model, indicating its relevance only for those with the oldest relative ages. There were also two changes in the effects of the adult role transitions. Those working full-time were more likely to feel older most or all of the time though they were not more likely to feel older all of the time, and student status was no longer predictive of subjective age when we considered feeling older most or all of the time.

For the analysis of feeling adult in , the combination of "most" and "all" of the time represented 71 percent of the sample. Hardship findings differed in that "other two-parent family" structures and experience of violence remained significant predictors of feeling adult in Model 3 rather than being fully mediated by adult role transitions. The single-mother family coefficient was significant in Model 2, but as with the other coding scheme, it was not significant in Model 3. Household incomes at 100-200 percent of the poverty line and "other" family structures were not significantly associated with feeling adult in Model 2. In Model 3, housework and student status were not significant.

DISCUSSION

The process of growing up, and aging more broadly, varies in pace across individuals. We combine insights from the life-course perspective, which draws our attention to age norms, the age-grading of roles, and how life stages can serve as master statuses, with existing conceptualizations of identity to understand individuals' subjective understanding of age. What we argue and find in this study has implications for understanding age identities as well as identities more broadly, and contributes to several important life-course debates.

The current study generally supports our argument that hardship in childhood and adolescence fosters an older subjective age in early adulthood. There were certainly variations in the effects of hardship in the family, economic, and safety/violence domains across the two indicators of older subjective age and by their operationalization, but indicators within each of these domains predict older subjective age within at least one and often more than one of these specifications. These hardships share a challenge to contemporary cultural expectations for childhood or adolescence that lead to the sense that one is older than one's age peers. We do not measure those age-related expectations directly, but instead identify a set of experiences we hypothesize are age non-normative, each stemming from one or more hardships. We grouped these age non-normative experiences into three (non-exhaustive) types, including transitioning into adult roles earlier than one's age peers, having had a lot of early responsibilities, and perceiving one's life expectancy as highly curtailed.

Respondents who had made adult role transitions held older subjective ages than those who had not yet done so. Partnering, becoming a parent, and completing one's education predicted feeling older and adult all of the time. Establishing an independent household was also important to feeling older, and working full-time was important for feeling adult all of the time. In terms of taking on responsibilities, frequent housework in adolescence was associated with feeling older and feeling adult and intensive paid work in adolescence was associated with feeling older. Contrary to our hypotheses, however, anticipating a sharply curtailed life span during adolescence was not associated with an older subjective age in multivariate models. Previous consideration of this process has focused on older populations. It may be that nearness to the end of life only shapes subjective age in middle and late adulthood, when physical decline from age and specific health conditions serve as a constant reminder of one's mortality.

Of these three types of experiences, only with respect to adult role transitions did we find evidence of mediation. All but one of the significant hardships were either fully or partially mediated by role transitions. The effects of hardships on feeling adult were mediated somewhat more strongly than on feeling older. The introduction of role transitions and high-intensity paid work also mediated several of the control variables, including gender, parents' education, nativity, and residential stability. It is interesting to note that the effect of chronological age on feeling older is fully mediated by hardship (though the coefficient changes little until role transitions, housework, and high-intensity paid work are added), and the effect of chronological age on feeling adult is partially mediated (55 percent of the effect) by role transitions and housework. In other words, social processes account for most or all of the effect of chronological age on subjective age identity, as many social scientists working in this area would expect.

Our analyses of the hypothesized mediation processes were limited in two important ways that need to be addressed in future research. First, we lacked measures of very high levels of involvement in housework, and of financial responsibilities, contributing income to the family, and significant involvement in caring for siblings or older family members that may mediate the effects of hardship we observe. Second, subjective age was only measured at one time-point in our study, and as a result, we cannot know whether the responsibilities and roles we examine precede older age identities. For example, high-intensity employment in adolescence or early entry into adult roles could be more common among those who already felt older. Longitudinal measures would enable researchers to address this possibility and examine the extent to which behaving in an "older" fashion and having an older subjective age may be reciprocally linked over time.

Our consideration of age-related cultural expectations and examination of the case of age identities also advances our understanding of identities more broadly. Identity theory ( Stryker and Burke 2000), which encapsulates the primary scholarship on identities in contemporary sociological social psychology, conceptualizes identities as based in roles. Scholarship in this tradition tends to move forward from this conceptualization to better understand identity salience, behavioral choice, self-verification, and other aspects of identity processes, with little attention to other bases of identity. Our findings affirm the importance of roles, but also suggest the value of continued consideration of the bases of identities. Adult social roles had some of the largest effects on feeling older and self-perceived adulthood. Yet non-role factors also shape subjective age identities. These factors include age-graded responsibilities, which we tapped into through the frequency of performing housework and intensity of paid employment, as well as lack of safety and exposure to violence, which constituted an experience of hardship significantly related to feeling older even with our identified mediators controlled. With respect to self-perceived adulthood, race/ethnicity and parental education levels also shaped age identity in ways not fully accounted for by differential acquisition of adult social roles, nor by exposure to hardship or our theorized mediators. These findings suggest that the social context of growing up also directs one's understanding of whether one has reached adult status. Further attention to these sources of age identities will likely prove useful in building a broader theoretical understanding of how identities develop.

Our findings also speak to several ongoing discussions in the life-course tradition. First, findings from this study support a key distinction from this tradition: statistical age normativity and social age norms are not one and the same ( Settersten 2003). The distribution of responses to our measure of relative age indicates this most clearly: 59 percent of respondents feel older than others their age most or all of the time. It is thus statistically normative to feel non-normative. Our findings suggest that comparisons are made to cultural understandings of the behaviors one engages in at different ages, rather than to the actual behaviors of others one's age. Like the children of Lake Wobegon who are all above average, young people in the United States disproportionately feel older than others their age. Previous studies indicate this changes as people get older. Adults in their thirties and beyond tend to report younger subjective ages compared to their chronological age ( Montepare and Lachman 1989; Galambos et al. 2005). Our findings on the predictors of subjective age also support that it is not what adolescents' age peers are doing (i.e., what is statistically normative), but ideas about what one should be doing at a given age (social norms) that shapes subjective age.

Second, rapid change in the demography of the transition to adulthood has led to an important debate on the relevance of adult social roles in understanding the contemporary nature of adulthood in Western societies (e.g., Arnett 2000; Furstenberg et al. 2003; Shanahan et al. 2005). We find in a nationally representative sample that entry into adult roles is associated with age identity in a way that affirms their importance in defining and signifying adulthood for today's young people. These role transitions also partially mediate the effect of chronological age on feeling adult, showing that social processes, more than just advancing years, influence young adults' subjective sense of their own age.

Finally, the effect of early hardship on the self-concept has long been of interest to life-course social psychologists and the findings of this study contribute to this line of inquiry as well. The primary foci in this area have been the implications of hardship for self-efficacy and self-esteem (e.g., Whitbeck et al. 1991, 1997). We join another recent study in expanding the scope of consideration, showing that hardship is associated with another aspect of the self-concept: age identity. Foster et al. (2008) also recently found that childhood neglect and adolescent intimate-partner violence accelerate "subjective weathering," a concept overlapping with relative age. The ways that young people interpret their place in the life course and temporal dimensions of their lives, including the pace of aging, are linked to early hardship.

Much work is still needed on the implications of older subjective ages during adolescence and young adulthood. Our contributions in the current study do not hinge on whether older age identities in this stage of the life course are detrimental or beneficial, but that question deserves additional attention. Growing up too fast can mean "pseudomaturity" ( Galambos et al. 1999; Greenberger and Steinberg 1986), in which feeling older and mimicking adult behaviors is not matched by genuine psychosocial maturity. Having an older subjective age is associated with adolescent substance use, problem behavior, and more involvement with opposite-sex peers (Arbeau, Galambos, and Jansson 2007; Galambos et al. 1999), some of which can be thought of as adult behaviors assumed too early. Subjective age could be a mechanism reproducing or maintaining disadvantages from childhood or adolescence into adulthood.

And yet, feeling older may also facilitate taking more mature approaches to solving problems and accepting responsibility for oneself and others. Moreover, having an older subjective age may be an adaptive response that enables adolescents to make the best of difficult situations. For example, a teenage parent who comes to see him/herself as older, more mature, adult even, may be more likely to behave in adult ways. Shanahan (2000:677) noted, "The manner in which people respond to challenges and stressors may account for differences in the transition to adulthood." To the extent that feeling adult is linked to more mature reactions to stress, feeling adult sooner could be beneficial. Initial positive benefits could, alternatively, be combined with later difficulties, however, and vice versa.

Perhaps the larger question might be posed in terms of when having an older subjective age is detrimental and when it is beneficial. We see several potentially important distinctions to consider. First, the implications of developing older subjective ages in adolescence may depend on the level of agency afforded the adolescent. Some young people may choose to take on greater responsibilities and make earlier transitions. Young people who do not anticipate attending college in the future and who invest heavily in paid work during adolescence ( Mortimer 2003) may fall into this group. In contrast, hardship by its very definition is something that is thrust upon children and adolescents, and thus we might expect more negative consequences. A second distinction is likely important, though, and that is whether in developing an older subjective age, young people also develop genuine maturity. Even those thrust into demanding situations may rise to the challenge, developing successful coping skills and becoming more autonomous and socially responsible. The extant literature suggests it is pseudomaturity-having an older subjective age without genuine maturity-that is linked to problematic outcomes during adolescence. Such behaviors could not be viewed as beneficial outcomes even if agentically selected. Whether genuine or pseudomaturity develops may rest on family and community contexts, a third distinction in need of scrutiny. One can imagine the adolescent who takes on extra responsibilities in the face of hardship but who works alongside parents or other individuals who model maturity and provide support. One can also imagine an adolescent burdened with responsibilities without such support (e.g., assuming a parental role for siblings and managing the household for an overworked or otherwise unavailable parent). As this brief discussion indicates, we must examine the context of "growing up faster" during the early years if we are to understand its implications for the life course.

Acknowledgments

This research uses data from Add Health, a program project designed by J. Richard Udry, Peter S. Bearman, and Kathleen Mullan Harris, and funded by grant P01-HD31921 from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, with cooperative funding from 17 other agencies. Special acknowledgment is due Ronald R. Rindfuss and Barbara Entwisle for assistance in the original design. Persons interested in obtaining data files from Add Health should contact Add Health, Carolina Population Center, 123 W. Franklin Street, Chapel Hill, NC 27516-2524; ude.cnu@htlaehdda. No direct support was received from grant P01-HD31921 for this analysis. The authors thank Robert Crosnoe, Julie Kmec, and the members of the faculty research group at Washington State University for their comments on earlier drafts.

Biographies

Monica Kirkpatrick Johnson is an associate professor in the department of sociology at Washington State University. Her research focuses on education and work-related processes during adolescence and the transition to adulthood, and particularly the social psychological experience of this life-course transition. Her current work examines processes of subjective age identity and formation and change in ambitions during this period of the life course.

Stefanie Mollborn is an assistant professor of sociology and faculty in the Health and Society Program of the Institute of Behavioral Science at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Her research focuses on social psychological approaches to understanding health behaviors and outcomes over the life course. Current projects include an analysis of the importance of resources for the early development of teenage parents' children and an examination of the antecedents and consequences of social norms about adolescent pregnancy.

Footnotes

¹ Processes of commitment, identity salience, and behavior in one strand, and that of identity standards, behavior, and self-verification in another strand, are the primary foci of identity theory scholars, of course, and our study is not intended to examine these processes.

² We believe respondents will base this comparison in cultural images tied to their age as well as in what they directly observe about others their age. On the latter, note that the requested comparison to "others your age" is likely to elicit different reference groups across individuals, affecting respondents' answers to the question.

³ These adult role transitions tend to covary, of course. For respondents who had experienced each of these role transitions, mean levels of every other transition were higher than among those who had not (at least p < .05; not shown) with one exception. Full-time work was not more common among those who had become parents and vice versa.

⁴ There was some overlap between these measures (F(1,128)=1509.62***). As we dichotomized the responses, of those expecting to be killed by age 21, slightly over half expected to be alive at 35. Of those expecting to be alive at 35, 10 percent expected by be killed by age 21.

⁵ Significant gender interactions were evident in some of these effects. With respect to feeling older, the coefficients for 200-300 percent of the poverty line and for feeling unsafe were more positive for males than for females; the coefficient for experiencing or witnessing violence was more positive for females than for males. With respect to feeling adult, the coefficients for "other" family structures, experiencing or witnessing violence, and being a parent were more positive for females than for males.

⁶We assess mediation using the three-pronged approach outlined by Barron and Kenny (1986). In each case for which we claim mediation, all three criteria were met. That the mediators have a significant association with the dependent variables is shown in . That the hardships show a reduction in their associations with the dependent variable across a model excluding the potential mediator and another including the potential mediator is shown in (supplemental models confirmed that these reductions were due to the role transitions specifically and are provided at www.asanet.org/spq). That the hardships predict the mediators is provided at www.asanet.org/spq.

⁷We conducted Sobel-Goodman significance tests ( p < .05) of mediation for all these relationships. These tests, which could only be performed on the unweighted data, demonstrated that having a child, not being a student, and marriage/cohabitation each significantly mediated the effects of each of the hardships described in the text. In addition, living on one's own significantly mediated the effects of other two-parent families and other family structures on feeling older, and full-time work significantly mediated the effects of other two-parent families and household incomes 100-200 percent of the poverty line on feeling adult.

⁸Sobel-Goodman significance tests of mediation on unweighted data confirmed that having a child, not being a student, and marriage/cohabitation partially mediated the relationship between exposure to violence and feeling older ( p < .05). These role transitions plus living on one's own partially mediated the relationship between having a single mother and feeling older.

Contributor Information

MONICA KIRKPATRICK JOHNSON, Washington State University.

STEFANIE MOLLBORN, University of Colorado-Boulder.

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Growing up Faster, Feeling Older: Hardship in Childhood and Adolescence

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We examine whether hardship while growing up shapes subjective age identity, as well as three types of experiences through which it may occur. Drawing on data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, we find that hardship in several ...

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I wonder why when some teens become adults there personality changes?

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"People spend their childhood learning to be like their parents and their adolescence learning who they are and how they are different from their parents" Miriam Kaufman
This quote pretty much sums up the effect of the emotional and social changes that take place when a child makes the transition from pre-pubescent ball of wonder and adoration to a teenager who is often moody, unpredictable and no longer showering you with affection and adulation. What happened in the blink of an eye? Where is that little inquisitive creature who would be constantly asking advice and seeking approval?

In a previous post we looked at the changes that we now know are taking place within the brain of teenager. We now know that there is reason behind some of the frustrasting and often 'out of character' behaviours. We also know that there are many factors that determine how those changes effect our youth, such as genes, personality, environment, family, friends and community. Whilst the changes can be very different for each individual, there are certainly some common elements. Below I have outlined some of the major social and emotional changes that take place just to show you that you are not alone. This is also relevant for those of you like me who are not quite at this stage but are wanting to prepare oneself for the onslaught (or who on reflection think there are certainly elements of teenage behaviour in their barely out of nappies offspring).

Social Changes Experienced By The Teenager:

A search for identity - children entering their teen years begin to want to know 'who they are and what they stand for'. They begin to question right from wrong and are keen to develop their own set of beliefs and morals. It is also during this time that they may start making decisions on these new found beliefs such as swearing off meat, looking into different forms of spirituality, tying themselves to a tree or jumping aboard a Greenpeace boat. Sometimes these forays can be shortlived as they get wrapped up in the waves of belief and belonging or they may begin to make up a set of beliefs that stick with them and are further developed through adulthood.

A quest for independence - Whilst it seems to be happening earlier and earlier, there is a definite sense of not needing others, particularly parents, as the often invincible teenager believes they have all the skills they need to take on the world. Whilst independence is a great and essential skill and one that should certainly be encouraged, it should also be noted that sometimes the decision making and judgement areas of the brain have not yet caught up to the part of the brain that seeks reward and pleasure. We must ensure therefore, that we maintain certain control over some of the decision-making in order to keep our 'bulletproof' teenagers safe.

A desire to experiment - As we have seen previously this is also a time when the adolescent hunts out new experiences, participates in risk-taking behaviours and begins to explore their sexual identity. They are also greatly influenced by the antics of friends and peers...most of whom are at a similar stage of brain development!

A change in Communication - With the explosion of social media, mobile phones and 24 hour access to communicable devices, the way our teenagers begin to socialise takes on many changes at this time (although for some they are well and truly versed in the modern means of communication by the time they reach their teens). And aside from the changes to the way they communicate with their friends and peers, there is also a noted change in the way they communicate with their parents...some would say a complete lack thereof!

Emotional Changes Experienced By The Teenager:

Expressing strong feelings - accompanying the many developmental and physical changes may be a tendency for unpredictable mood swings and fluctuating degrees of emotion. Teenagers are still learning to express themselves and control their emotions in a more grown up fashion. Couple this with the new found teenage hormones and you may find yourself struggling to understand the changing moods, the increasing arguments and the unpredictable nature of communication.

Become Sensitive or self-conscious - As the teenage body goes through many physical changes this can also be a time for body image issues as they begin to compare themselves with those around them. As their friends and peers now play such an important role, teenage self-esteem can often be connected to the way they look (be it real or perceived).

Bulletproof and Invincible - Whilst seemingly having the world at their feet, the teenager embarks on many behaviours often without having had the luxury of age and wisdom to foresee all the possible outcomes for their actions. That teenage brain is still refining its skills in the art of consequences!

You may notice therefore that your child now wants to spend less time with you, makes rash decisions, is argumentative and difficult to communicate with, or you may be one of the lucky ones who sails through the teenage years relatively unscathed. Whatever the experience, it is important to note that as long as you have done the early groundwork and are thus able to maintain some control and respect, then you are likely to come out the other end with your relationship intact and as strong as ever.

And to help this journey remain as smooth as possible there are some other things we as parents can do to help maintain our connection with our children, to help them make good decisions, to keep them safe as they take risks and explore and most importantly to keep them healthy and happy. So stay tuned for future posts as we explore more ways to help children cope with the social, emotional and physical changes that come about as they develop from cute kid into complex teenager and finally into happy, confident and resilient young adult.

My 11 year old son loves having dinner together as a family. It doesn't get to happen every night but we certainly aim for as many as we can. I started thinking the other day about how I will feel when he no longer has that same excitement about the prospect of a family gathering around the dinner table where we can all exchange anecdotes from our busy day. On reflection I will remind myself to hang tight and know that whatever changes take place, if we remain supportive and strong and know that we have put in all the groundwork....then he will always come back for a family dinner.

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From child to adult: Social and emotional changes affecting teens

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"People spend their childhood learning to be like their parents and their adolescence learning who they are and how they are different from their parents" Miriam Kaufman This quote pretty much sums up the effect of the emotional and social changes that take place when a child makes the transition from pre-pubescent ball of wonder and adoration to a teenager who is often moody, unpredictable and no longer showering you with affection and adulation.

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I wonder why teenagers get depressed.

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Do you ever wonder whether your irritable or unhappy adolescent might actually be experiencing teen depression? Of course, most teens feel unhappy at times. And when you add hormone havoc to the many other changes happening in a teen's life, it's easy to see why their moods swing like a pendulum. Yet findings show that one out of every eight adolescents has teen depression. But depression can be treated as well as the serious problems that come with it. So if your teen's unhappiness lasts for more than two weeks and he or she displays other symptoms of depression, it may be time to seek help from a health professional.

Why do adolescents get depression?

There are multiple reasons why a teenager might become depressed. For example, teens can develop feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy over their grades. School performance, social status with peers, sexual orientation, or family life can each have a major effect on how a teen feels. Sometimes, teen depression may result from environmental stress. But whatever the cause, when friends or family -- or things that the teen usually enjoys -- don't help to improve his or her sadness or sense of isolation, there's a good chance that he or she has teen depression.

What are the symptoms of teen depression?

Often, kids with teen depression will have a noticeable change in their thinking and behavior. They may have no motivation and even become withdrawn, closing their bedroom door after school and staying in their room for hours.

Kids with teen depression may sleep excessively, have a change in eating habits, and may even exhibit criminal behaviors such as DUI or shoplifting. Here are more signs of depression in adolescents even though they may or may not show all signs:

Apathy

Complaints of pains, including headaches, stomachaches, low back pain, or fatigue

Difficulty concentrating

Difficulty making decisions

Excessive or inappropriate guilt

Irresponsible behavior -- for example, forgetting obligations, being late for classes, skipping school

Loss of interest in food or compulsive overeating that results in rapid weight loss or gain

Memory loss

Preoccupation with death and dying

Rebellious behavior

Sadness, anxiety, or a feeling of hopelessness

Staying awake at night and sleeping during the day

Sudden drop in grades

Use of alcohol or drugs and promiscuous sexual activity

Withdrawal from friends

For in depth information, see WebMD's Symptoms of Depression.

Continued

Can teen depression run in families?

Yes. Depression, which usually starts between the ages of 15 and 30, sometimes can run in families. In fact, teen depression may be more common among adolescents who have a family history of depression.

How is teen depression diagnosed?

There aren't any specific medical tests that can detect depression. Health care professionals determine if a teen has depression by conducting interviews and psychological tests with the teen and his or her family members, teachers, and peers.

The severity of the teen depression and the risk of suicide are determined based on the assessment of these interviews. Treatment recommendations are also made based on the data collected from the interviews.

The doctor will also look for signs of potentially co-existing psychiatric disorders such as anxiety or substance abuse or screen for complex forms of depression such as bipolar disorder ( manic depressive illness) or psychosis. . The doctor will also assess the teen for risks of suicidal or homicidal features. Incidences of attempted suicide and self-mutilation is higher in females than males while completed suicide is higher in males. One of the most vulnerable groups for completed suicide is the 18-24 age group.

How is teen depression treated?

There are a variety of methods used to treat depression, including medications and psychotherapy. Family therapy may be helpful if family conflict is contributing to a teen's depression. The teen will also need support from family or teachers to help with any school or peer problems. Occasionally, hospitalization in a psychiatric unit may be required for teenagers with severe depression.

Your mental health care provider will determine the best course of treatment for your teen.

The FDA warns that antidepressant medications can, rarely, increase the risk of suicidal thinking and behavior in children and adolescents with depression and other psychiatric disorders. Use of antidepressants in younger patients, therefore, requires especially close monitoring and follow-up by the treating doctor. If you have questions or concerns, discuss them with your health care provider.

Does depression medicine work for teen depression?

Yes. A large number of research trials have shown the effectiveness of depression medications in relieving the symptoms of teen depression. One key recent study, funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, reviewed three different approaches to treating adolescents with moderate to severe depression:

One approach was using the antidepressant medication Prozac, which is approved by the FDA for use with pediatric patients ages 8-18.

The second treatment was using cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, to help the teen recognize and change negative patterns of thinking that may increase symptoms of depression.

The third approach was a combination of medication and CBT.

At the end of the 12-week study, researchers found that nearly three out of every four patients who received the combination treatment -- depression medication and psychotherapy -- significantly improved. More than 60% of the kids who took Prozac alone improved. But the study confirmed that combination treatment was nearly twice as effective in relieving depression as psychotherapy alone.

Continued

What are the warning signs for teen suicide?

Teen suicide is a serious problem. Adolescent suicide is the second leading cause of death, following accidents, among youth and young adults in the U.S. It is estimated that 500,000 teens attempt suicide every year with 5,000 succeeding. These are epidemic numbers.

Family difficulties, the loss of a loved one, or perceived failures at school or in relationships can all lead to negative feelings and depression. And teen depression often makes problems seem overwhelming and the associated pain unbearable. Suicide is an act of desperation and teen depression is often the root cause.

Warning signs of suicide with teen depression include:

Expressing hopelessness for the future

Giving up on one's self, talking as if no one else cares

Preparing for death, giving away favorite possessions, writing goodbye letters, or making a will

Starting to use or abuse drugs or alcohol to aid sleep or for relief from their mental anguish

Threatening to kill one's self

If your teenager displays any of these behaviors, you should seek help from a mental healthcare professional immediately. Or you can call a suicide hotline for help.

Depression carries a high risk of suicide. Anybody who expresses suicidal thoughts or intentions should be taken very, very seriously. Do not hesitate to call your local suicide hotline immediately. Call 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

What can parents do to alleviate teen depression?

Parenting teens can be very challenging. There are, though, some effective parenting and communication techniques you can use to help lower the stress level for your teenager:

When disciplining your teen, replace shame and punishment with positive reinforcement for good behavior. Shame and punishment can make an adolescent feel worthless and inadequate.

Allow your teenager to make mistakes. Overprotecting or making decisions for teens can be perceived as a lack of faith in their abilities. This can make them feel less confident.

Give your teen breathing room. Don't expect teens to do exactly as you say all of the time.

Do not force your teen down a path you wanted to follow. Avoid trying to relive your youth through your teen's activities and experiences.

If you suspect that your teen is depressed, take the time to listen to his or her concerns. Even if you don't think the problem is of real concern, remember that it may feel very real to someone who is growing up.

Keep the lines of communication open, even if your teen seems to want to withdraw.

Try to avoid telling your teen what to do. Instead, listen closely and you may discover more about the issues causing the problems.

If there is a close friend or family member your teen is close to and comfortable with, you might suggest your teen talk with this person about his or her concerns.

If you feel overwhelmed or unable to reach your teen, or if you continue to be concerned, seek help from a qualified health care professional.

Continued

Can't teen depression go away without medical treatment?

Teen depression tends to come and go in episodes. Once a teenager has one bout of depression, he or she is likely to get depressed again at some point. The consequence of letting teen depression go untreated can be extremely serious and even deadly.

Sources

SOURCES:

National Institute of Mental Health: "What is Depression?"

Food and Drug Administration: "The Lowdown on Depression."

Mental Health America: "Factsheet: Depression in Teens."

Medline Plus: "Adolescent Depression."

ParentsMedGuide.org: "The Use of Medication in Treating Childhood and Adolescent Depression: Information for Patients and Families."

SAMHSA: "Major Depression in Children and Adolescents."

Medline Plus: "Teen Mental Health."

American Psychiatric Association, Practice Guideline for the Treatment of Patients with Major Depression, 2000.

American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR, American Psychiatric Pub, 2000.

Fieve, R. Bipolar II, Rodale Books, 2006.

Next Article
Childhood Depression

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Teen Depression: Causes, Symptoms, Heredity, and Treatments

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Do you ever wonder whether your irritable or unhappy adolescent might actually be experiencing teen depression? Of course, most teens feel unhappy at times. And when you add hormone havoc to the many other changes happening in a teen's life, it's easy to see why their moods swing like a pendulum.

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I wonder why teens are so stressed all the time?

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I wonder what age do teenagers start thinking about their futures.

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It's so unfair. No one understands you. People who actually have no idea tell you what to do all the time. About anything. Everyone patronises you or exchanges knowing looks when you say something really important. No one sees you as an individual any more but just as some kind of generic blob. No one is there when you feel really lonely. No one is there when you discover something completely weird about the world. No one is there when you are too tired to pick up the remote control. No one gets quite how boring all of this is.

This is how it feels to be the parent of a teenager. Not all the time. Some of the time. I can't tell you how to do it, but I can reassure you that you are probably doing it all wrong. There are experts in adolescence, apparently. There are manuals that are fine if you accept that you just need to change the settings on teenagers until their lights flash on and off. Teenagers are bracketed with toddlers in terms of targeted user guides. This seems naff, but there is no one these days apparently not in need of some dumbed-down cognitive behavioural therapy. Strangely, I happen to believe teenagers - er, much like us grown-ups - are all different.

I am currently on my third teenager (she is 13; my older ones are in their 20s), but the real truth is that I am on my fourth. Me! I was a teenager. It is this experience more than anything that informs my parenting. For I know I was pretty much formed as a person by 14, and I haven't changed that much since. That may be a good thing or a bad thing. Your relationship to your adolescent is often hooked into the relationship you have with your own adolescence. So many irrational fears, hopes and denials come from this nowhere land.

That's why, when your child starts the journey of separating from you, you may react in all sorts of strange ways. You as a parent may feel suddenly out of control. Of yourself as well as of your child.

Many people seem anxious that what is seen as adolescent behaviour kicks in long before the teen years, at about 10. By this I mean the stereotypical way that we define this phase: wanting stuff, being sarcastic, needing to be alone sometimes, caring too much about being included or excluded from particular groups, demanding the impossible, being oversensitive, easily hurt and inexplicably angry. All while doing daft things. None of these behaviours belongs to any one age group, but we tend to see teenagers' emotional lives as somehow always excessive and exaggerated.

The intensity of this time of life is something we seek to grow them out of, and secretly envy. Once, I found one of my daughters sobbing in her room. What was the matter? "Mum, I want to be the same as everyone else, but I want to stand out and be different from them, too" - a pretty good encapsulation of a feeling that never leaves us. And that is bigger than the rows about the messy bedroom, the house as hotel, the smoking, drinking, boyfriends. For the glorious technicolour of this time is hard to live with as a parent. Your demands are black and white. Clean up. Stop pushing at every boundary. Yes, school is bloody boring - just get through it. Their demands are vivid. I want to be a star. I want to change the world. I want unconditional love. I hate you. I want to take risks. I want to be safe. I want to be free.

All I can say, having learned the hard way, is pick your battles. Just because everything can be an argument doesn't mean it has to be. The things you dread are the things you did. Sex, drugs, piercings, tattoos. (The worst is tattoos, but it's too late now.)

Most of us will not die of an untidy bedroom, but it is nice to think that your children could at one stage be civilised enough to live with someone. Basic manners are always welcome, too. What remains key, though, is this need for the child to carve a separate identity from you. "The teenager", though a relatively new identity, was born of young people having disposable income in the 1950s. It is now subject to a globalised industry. Our children are consumed by it. We, who purchase much of it for them, often tell them it is worthless.

They are also under pressure from an unrelenting education system that tests them into numbness. They must worry about money and employability, and we act as though they are too busy Snapchatting to notice all the conversations about the end of the world, the end of social mobility, the end of antibiotics that are happening all around them. Their rebellions can go viral, but remain undetected at home as parents are mainly baffled by the tech the kids are using. We kept them off the streets because of paedophiles, and now we fear they don't see the risks online.

Neuroscience is wheeled in to explain teenage behaviour in reductive ways. Using brain scans to explain culturally determined activities - risk-taking - we identify the parts of the brain that do not mature until later. The frontal and parietal lobes responsible for planning and self-control, the bits that don't envision the consequences of their actions, are said in some teenangers not to be fully formed. This speaks to the exasperated parent. When did your sweetpea become a massive sulky thing? Why does every argument go from 0-60 with no gear change in between? Why does your baby compare you with her friend's better parents and make you feel like an overprotective, miserly clown? If it is actually her brain, then hey, it's not your fault at all.

Actually, it is about hearts and minds, and it is massively complicated - because we are. Being a parent at this stage means a constant negotiation between keeping them safe and letting them go. We are not good at letting go, and in my experience we are also very poor risk assessors. One of my kids didn't nearly die from going to festivals very young, but from an accident on a "healthy" cycling holiday. Her sister also came close to death, not because she didn't get fed organic carrots, but because she had meningitis. My worst fears nearly came true because of incidents I could not predict, so it's not surprising I became laissez-faire about the things I could.

Why turn yourself into a flappy mess of worry to make them come home by 2am? What are they going to do then that they won't have done by midnight? What did you do yourself?

I wish we could all be less hard on one another. Breathe and realise you will fail. I have worried about things that were not important to them, I have been selfish, I have felt hurt and unseen, just as they have. My fantasies of teen world are not theirs. I have girls, but I know it's no easier for boys. All kids can have a monstrous time.

When your child is little, they need you and you know what to do. Teenagers don't need you or even appear to like you, but they do need you to be semi-available for them. This often coincides with a time in your life when you may feel you deserve more freedom. What gets you through? For me, it's that I remain enamoured of their intensity, their urgency. To be with someone as the adult world reveals itself is pretty wonderful. I love how wholly unimpressed and cynical my kids have been one minute, but the next bowled over by a Vine of a gerbil in a jumper.

Often I think they are right and we are wrong, and that grown-ups exist to persuade them to give up what we are afraid of in ourselves. Other times I am scared for them. But always I wish - as I have wished at every stage of my children's lives - that they could stay as they are. Never change. Then I see my older children, no longer teenagers at all, but people whom I not only love but actually like. Which, after all, is pretty much the only thing that matters. And was sometimes the hardest thing to hold on to in between the teenage kicks.

'If you think a friend isn't good for us, we still have to figure it out for ourselves': Mariama Bojang, 14

Sometimes parents need to think about giving their teenagers a little bit more freedom and understanding. If we are trusted, then we feel more independent and grown-up, so we are going to come home happy, instead of sitting on the phone all night. We are also thankful, so we're not going to do anything to spoil it and might do our chores. My mum checks in on me when I'm with my friends, but it's only five seconds, and then she feels comfortable. It's not nice feeling that someone thinks you're a liar, so I want her to know I'm OK.

Some parents put their teenagers under too much pressure. I have friends who will tell their parents they got an A in an exam, and their parents will ask why it wasn't an A*. My mum knows I am always trying my best and that is good enough for her. I can confide in her and I'm quite proud of that.

I am involved with the Reclaim project in Manchester (reclaimproject.org.uk) - it's for young people in the north-west to challenge stereotypes and make young people into leaders. We meet up every month and do something like debating or helping the elderly, and it has really improved my self-confidence. There were girls I wouldn't speak to before because I assumed we wouldn't get along, but I can talk to them now.

My mum works in Starbucks. I've got two big sisters and a brother, but it's just me and my mum and sister at home. The best piece of advice my mum has ever given me is to be proud of myself and what I am doing. Where I'm from, it's OK, but sometimes people can make judgments about the people who live here. My mum always tells me to be proud and well turned out.

Parents also need to realise that not all teenagers are rebels. But if we do make mistakes, that's how we are going to learn. My mum sees dangers where there aren't any. Even if you think a certain friend might not be good for us, we have to figure it out for ourselves sometimes.

'The battle they are never going to win is fashion': Katie Adamson, 13

When I go out, my mum worries far too much - she wants to know all the details, who is going to be there, exactly where we are going. Parents worry about us spending time with people they don't know, but I don't know all of their friends, so it's not weird that they don't know all of mine. My advice would be: ask kids for some details, make sure at least one person you know will be there and the time they are coming back, but then give them some freedom.

Parents don't understand how young people use technology. My dad is always having a go at me for my BlackBerry clicking, which means I can't text my friends. I bought this one with my own money - if you don't like the clicking, you should buy me a new phone! We use Snapchat and BBM to organise ourselves - no one uses Facebook any more because parents can see that.

I go out quite a lot. My parents get annoyed - they say I'm messing them around when I organise times to get picked up or dropped off, but plans change, and if they won't let me get public transport... When I'm allowed out, I'm much happier, so I'm nicer.

The battle parents will never win is fashion. We're always going to have different tastes. I wear crop tops and my dad's like, Katie! We should be allowed to try on a dress for a party and see how we feel in it. If I'm buying clothes with my own money, I should be allowed to make my own mistakes. Mum's fashion sense is all right, but there are some things... I mean, why would your mum wear cheetah? I'm not going to want her to show off, but she should wear something she feels good in, and so should I.

For me, the secret to having a happy teen is giving them space and freedom - without that, there is no fun and happiness. But you also need to find common ground - with my dad, I watch crime thrillers; with my mum, Downton Abbey. It's good to have a thing you can bond over.

'If you need something doing, don't go on about it': Faris Gohir, 13

Whenever I get told off by my mum, she gives me these really long lectures. Seriously, they are so long that by the end of them I can't even remember what we were talking about. When it comes to my dad, he's much more short and snappy. To tell you the truth, my mum is softer than my dad - my dad is more scary - but I'd still rather be told off by my dad. Don't send your kids to sleep with a lecture - if you shout, at least we will remember what it was about.

My mum worries a lot about my future. She's a women's rights activist and I'm always saying, don't worry, I'm not going to be a rapist, I'm not going to be a Taliban, I'm not going to be an alcoholic. I don't know why she worries - it's just how parents are. I'm sure their parents worried about them, too. I know what I want to do - I want to do computer science - so I'm not too worried about the future.

I ask my parents for advice if I need help with my work. One time, ages ago, I was being bullied at school, and my mum helped get it sorted out.

My advice for parents is, if you want something doing, don't constantly go on about it, just say it once. If you say it multiple times, we just won't feel like it. And if you need to punish your teenagers, I'd say stop them playing computer games or take away their phones - teens use their phones to text their friends all the time, and if you take it away, they will learn from their mistake. My parents take my games console away if I get in trouble, which means I get bored, so it does work.

Sometimes parents try to engage with their kids and it goes wrong. One time my mum was texting me, using all this youth language. I was thinking, what's going on? Has someone stolen my mum's phone? I found it pretty weird.

'My mum will ask, 'Is that your girlfriend?': Olly Reeves, 16

I'm at the Brit School, but my mum's not a pushy stage mum - she says if I want to be an actor when I'm older, then it's up to me to go out and do it. I was always a dramatic child: if I didn't want to eat my vegetables, I'd just throw them on the floor and get called a drama queen.

When I'm going to a party, Mum wants me to call her when I get there, after an hour, when I leave. She says she wants me to have my independence, then takes it away by asking for the phone number of the place I'm going. They want you to get a job, but won't let you stay at a friend's house. Teenagers are hypocritical about this, too: our need for independence changes by the minute.

Arguments can build up over stupid little things, and technology is a very big deal. I have to put aside my homework and help my mum log on. Then if I close my door and go on my laptop, she worries about what I might be doing online.

She has influenced me with her drive and passion, but she can be embarrassing, too. When I'm with my friends, she tries to suss out whether I'm going out with any of them. They might still be at my house, putting on their shoes, and she'll ask, "Is that your girlfriend?" She asks random questions about my social life. I probably edit my life for her benefit: I just don't seem to mention the wrong people.

My mum says things like, "When I'm not here, no one will be able to run your bath." Parents worry about our independence. It's probably because they know that we are about to become adults and, in a way, they worry we're going to turn into them.

'You have to realise that your child is going to experiment': Matt Mapother, 17

Parents remember the way they grew up and think it's still the same, but it's not. Now, most teens have mobiles, so it's easier to keep in contact. As for stranger danger, kids are pretty mature these days - they know when someone isn't right. Drink and drugs are clearly an issue. When I was in year seven, we never talked about drugs, but now I'm in year 12 I know younger kids take drugs and it makes you think, do their parents know? It's definitely something parents should talk about, but you also have to realise that your child is going to experiment. All you can do is make sure they are aware of the consequences. You can't go everywhere with your child; can't babysit them through these years.

I can talk to my parents about anything to do with school. When I was bullied, I talked to my mum and dad, and it got resolved. I was scared that talking about it could make it worse, but when you've got someone reassuring you, you can clear your head and think straight. As you grow up, your friends become your second parents, but when things are getting out of hand, your parents have the final say.

Sex. Well, it needs to be talked about. I was in year seven, on my computer, when my mum and dad came to talk to me about it. It was cringey. I was embarrassed as hell. But now I'm older, I'm glad we had the conversation. Parents should talk to their kids about sex, but don't scare them, don't go into details. I had already learned the mechanics at school; my parents talked about being with someone. They told me to be sensible, not take risks. I realised they have faith in me, which made me act better: I had to live up to it.

It's all about balance. You have to know you can talk to your parents about anything. Parents have to trust their teens to do the right thing, but if they don't, take a step back and still be there for them.

'There's so much pressure on us in terms of money': Loren Corbett-Hassit, 16

I'm studying broadcast and digital communication at the Brit School, and I want to work as a presenter in the future. I've always been the less academic one. My sister is a year older and she's already thinking of which university she's going to.

My parents have always been very supportive. The most annoying thing they do is badger me to get a job - it's almost like them always asking about it means I won't do it. My dad was working in the market at 11, and gave me a good work ethic. I had a job in the bakery when I was younger, but it's not practical to do my GCSEs and have a job and social life at the same time. I'll get a job in September.

Parents don't understand the pressure on teenagers in terms of money. My mum is quite old, and when she was young she had only Sunday best and two or three other outfits. I've got so many, but want more. The shops update their collections all the time and my mum doesn't understand that you have to have the new look. We row about pocket money: I spend it on travel, cinema tickets, going to see friends, and it's gone - then I see a new top for £15. It was way easier for my parents when they were teenagers.

There's a lot of pressure now about body image, too. I'm quite open with my mum about that sort of thing, but if I say I've got so much cellulite, she says, you've got to stop: be happy with what you've got. She says, I wish I was young like you, you're so lucky. I want to say, with respect, you're not young, and I feel insecure about this. If I say I want to go on a shake diet, or I need these fitness trainers, they say, you don't need money to be healthy. They say, we're not going to encourage diets, there's always healthy food in the house. One in five of my friends has an eating disorder, and most of them can't talk about it to their parents.

My parents are quite laid-back, but they think I go out too much, and my dad always asks, "Will there be boys there?" I get angry with them quicker than I should, but it should be about compromise. When parents give advice, they should be honest with their kids: if there's any hint of hypocrisy, we're going to resent it.

'Parents think all technology is bad, but it can be used for productive things too': Elliot Miller, 15

Some parents think that their teenagers are wasting their time, especially on electronic devices and social networks. My parents worry about that because I do use the computer a lot, but I don't think they particularly need to - they've taught me how to limit myself, so I know if I need to stop and do something more productive.

Parents sometimes need to embrace new technology a bit more - that is one thing they don't seem to understand. They think all technology is bad, but Twitter and Facebook can be used for productive things, too. Don't try to communicate with your teen on Facebook, though. That really is a no-no. When that happens to one of my friends, their name is the punchline to every joke for the rest of that day.

From a young age, my parents have encouraged me to work hard, and even though they might not have put it like this, I've learned that if you work hard now, you can enjoy yourself more later. For me, on things like homework, teenagers just have to do it and then they won't have any problems. I talk to my parents a lot about homework - they are supportive and they know if I'm struggling a bit, and that's really helpful.

In general, people need to be less negative about teenagers. We might be at the bus stop or outside McDonald's, and people will give us ugly looks. They assume we're engaging in unlawful activities. It's not that they say anything to us, it's more what they don't say. They don't know us, or engage us in conversation, but they judge us. There are a lot of negative stereotypes about teenagers - that we are lazy, that we spend all of our time online - and it's a misconception: most teens I know work hard and want to achieve. It's about communicating, really. The more we communicate, the more those stereotypes disappear and we can build better relationships.

'Bullying does happen but often it's just thoughtless': Katt Weaver, 16

One of the things parents worry about, especially with girls, is if they are going out with boys, or wearing provocative clothing. Maybe it would be more helpful if boys were told how to behave with girls instead. In school, we don't really learn enough about politics or equality - I know a lot of boys who are sexist.

Parents also worry about us being online, but teens have grown up with the internet: it's just us talking to each other. Bullying does happen, but often it's thoughtless rather than vindictive. And there isn't much parents can do about it. If you think your child is depressed, you should worry, but I think most of that stuff online isn't real. On Twitter, girls say, "Oh, I wish I was thinner" but they don't really mean it.

The thing parents should worry about is money. At school we learn nothing about it, and it's stuff we need to know. When you leave school, you don't understand the implications of what stuff costs.

Parents have to let teens make their own decisions about uni. It's so expensive that it's not worth pushing them to do law because you wanted to do law.

You should talk to teens casually, not all raging and exaggerating the issue. On things like drinking, everyone does it. It's not a new thing and it's just part of being a teen. Despite what the media say, teens aren't bad. We have goals and know about current affairs and how we can change things. We might not watch the news, but we find stuff out on the internet.

My one piece of advice to parents would be to set boundaries with your teen, but also to let them do their own thing. Make sure they have awareness, rather than saying they can't do something. Don't be too strict, because then teens won't tell you anything. I know people who've gone down that route. Once it starts, you become more distant and then there's no way back.

'Speak to your teen, don't just give them money to go out': Craig Elliott, 15

I've been doing exams. After the first one, my dad took me out for tea. It was great to have a bit of father-and-son time. I think parents should do that, even just asking how something went or if you need help. The first time I sat down to revise, I thought, I'll clean my room instead. Clearly I was procrastinating, but I think my mum was quite happy.

Parents worry about their teen getting in with the wrong group, but maybe they want to be popular or are not getting enough attention at home. It's important that teens get individual time with their parents.

It annoys me when my sister, who is younger, gets to go to bed at the same time as me. Also, don't blame one teen when it's the other one's fault, and speak to them, don't just give them money to go out. Make time for them and listen. If your parents are interested, it gives you a real boost.

'It helps that we sit around the table to eat our tea': Sophie Elliott, 13

Parents have to ask about how things are going and see how they can help. Not every day - we'll talk when we're ready. My mum asks me: "Have you met any nice boys today?" There is no point asking - nothing has changed since yesterday.

My mum and I had a girly pampering night and it was great: we talked about everything. Things parents should probably worry about are arguments with friends and also body image.

Another thing parents should know: if there are problems, don't pretend everything is OK. Tell us what is happening and make sure we know it's not our fault. It helps that the four of us sit around the table to eat our tea. Young people think parents don't know anything, but they know more than you think and can help with stuff.

* Interviews by Alexandra Topping and Dominic Smith
Topics

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'Your child is going to experiment': what teenagers really think

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It's so unfair. No one understands you. People who actually have no idea tell you what to do all the time. About anything. Everyone patronises you or exchanges knowing looks when you say something really important. No one sees you as an individual any more but just as some kind of generic blob.

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I wonder if a teen's personality really changes?

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July 14, 2015 0 Comments

"Who are you and what have you done with my child?" is a common joke parents make when their children start exerting their individuality. To accomplish the healthy separation process of development, children test boundaries to become separate individuals. These changes are particularly evident during toddlerhood and again during adolescence, as any parent may attest. Although teenage drama inevitably affects the entire family, having a clear idea of typical behavior and ways to respond helps everyone through the process as unscathed as possible.
What causes personality changes?
Personality is the culmination of biological, psychological and external factors that determine perception and response to events. Thus, certain aspects of a teenager's personality might be evident in some situations and not in others. The debate over whether or not personality changes over time is an old and still ongoing one. However, three important conclusions emerged from reviewing recent genetic and behavioral research: 1) About half of personality is determined by innate characteristics (nature) and half through environmental influences (nurture); 2) Personality traits and associated behaviors can change over time; 3) Sudden personality changes are not typical and usually occur as a result of substance abuse, disease process or a very traumatic experience. However, because changes during adolescence occur so rapidly, it might be difficult to ascertain what exactly is happening.
Traits and facets of personality
Personality traits are generally defined according to field of application and associated theoretical framework. One popular personality theory described by McCrae and Costa is known as the " Big Five," which describes the five traits that comprise personality to include openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. Each of these five traits has defining facets that have been shown to predict behavior and determine suitability for vocational assessment. The facets of each trait are measured along a continuum. These traits and corresponding facets are as follows in the form of the mnemonic "OCEAN":

O penness: Intellect and openness

C onscientiousness: Industriousness and orderliness

E xtraversion: Enthusiasm and assertiveness

A greeableness: Compassion and politeness

N euroticism: Volatility and withdrawal

The "Big Five" theory is just one approach to personality assessment. This approach has resulted in multiple psychometric assessment tools of various length and depth that are used primarily in vocational assessment and selection. Like most theories, the "Big Five" has its limitations and critiques, but does offer a starting point from which to consider the concept of personality.
What teen behavior is typical and what requires attention?
Though people in general demonstrate some level of all of these traits, most demonstrate each facet in different degrees and intensity levels. Some examples of behavior typically seen during adolescence for each of the "Big Five," as well as some that warrant attention are shown in the table below.

Adolescence is a time for rapid change and renegotiation of the unspoken rules of engagement. New and different behaviors may evolve that concern or confuse family members. Sometimes teens themselves don't understand why their own behavior is changing. As a result, teens need supportive adults to guide them through this challenging phase of development. Part of providing guidance is the ability to detect when adolescents need help, as teens are rarely able to recognize or verbalize their level of distress.
A few general points to remember regarding teenage personality changes:

Maintain open dialogue and eliminate unspoken tension.

Sudden, dramatic personality changes always warrant attention. Medical problems, substance use and traumatic abuse must be ruled out.

Parents should trust their own instinct regardless of others' opinions.

Address behavior with consequences affecting the teen's future.

New, effective treatments are available for adolescents struggling with behavioral health problems, underlying mental illness or substance use disorders.
Summary
Adolescence can be an exciting time for teens and their families. Teens need support and guidance through this difficult time. Changes in behavior are both common and necessary, but sometimes such changes can be a sign of serious underlying issues. Early intervention has been shown to improve long-term outcomes and may prevent violence or suicide. Mental health treatment can also improve communication among family members, giving teens the security and confidence they need to develop into happy, healthy, functional adults.

White River Academy is a boarding school and treatment center for boys aged 12 to 17 who are recovering from trauma, substance abuse or co-occurring mental illness. At the White River Academy, the faculty and staff recognize the unique personality of all residents, and strive to help each boy maximize his potential based on his special gifts and challenges. For more information, please call 866-300-0616 to speak to one of our experienced advisors.
Written by Dana Connolly, Phd., Sovereign Health Group writer
What do you think?

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Dramatic personality changes in teenagers: What's typical and what's not?

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July 14, 2015 0 Comments "Who are you and what have you done with my child?" is a common joke parents make when their children start exerting their individuality. To accomplish the healthy separation process of development, children test boundaries to become separate individuals.

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I wonder why teens drink and smoke when they're underage?

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Partnership for Drug-Free Kids - Where Families Find Answers

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Top 8 Reasons Why Teens Try Alcohol and Drugs - Partnership for Drug-Free Kids - Where Families Find Answers

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There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behavior of teenage drug and alcohol use.

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I wonder why teens get so violent through this stage of their life.

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Teen violence is a hot topic in the news lately. Even though school shootings account for less than 1% of homicides among youth (1), the sensational nature of such violent acts imprints itself on our minds. Additionally, a recent hearing regarding violent video games in the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Energy and Commerce (2) has once again highlighted concerns over possible causes of teen violence.

Unfortunately, pinpointing the causes of teen violence is not as simple as pointing to a video game or taking away a gun. There are many causes of teen violence, and most teen violence takes place without guns, in the form of fights and bullying away from school (1).
Why teens become violent
There are several theories as to why teens act out in violence. Some of the more common reasons for acting out involve modeling behaviors. If teens see violence at home, in the movies, in video games, or on the street, they are more inclined to copy such behaviors (3). Others, who experience bullying or teasing, become enraged enough to begin acting out in revenge. This can be another cause of teen violence (3).

Lashing out in response to what has been seen or experienced does not account for all instances of teen violence, however. According to the Centers for Disease Control, teen violence can also be caused by frustration due to learning disorders, emotional distress, or attention deficits (1). In some cases teens do not know how to appropriately channel their frustrations and act out in anger as a form of release.
No one answer to what causes teen violence
The fact of the matter is that there is no way to directly point to one cause in most cases of teen violence. Because human beings are complex entities, and because there are usually many different factors that come into play, most experts prefer to refer to possible causes as risk factors, rather than actual causes. When most teens act out violence, it is usually due to a variety of reasons, rather than just one cause.
Increasing the chance of acting out in violence
While having fleeting thoughts of violence is normal, there are some things that can contribute to the likelihood of a teen acting out in a violent manner. Dwelling on violent thoughts or playing out violent fantasies mentally on a regular basis can lead to the actual act of violence. Related to playing out fantasies is actually planning out acts of violence. Actually making a plan can be one of the catalysts that actually causes the teen to take a violent step.

Accessibility of the means to carry out violence is another cause of teen violence. Most experts agree that when a teen has access to the tools necessary for a violent plan, the chances of teen violence actually occurring increase (3). This is especially true when teens have access to guns and other weapons, such as knives and clubs. So, while an exact cause of teen violence cannot be pinpointed, there are definite factors that contribute to the likelihood of it actually taking place.

Teen Violence Causes Sources:

1. cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/yvfacts.htm

2. energycommerce.house.gov/108/Hearings/06142006hearing1921/hearing.htm

3. kidshealth.org/teen/school_jobs/bullying/school_violence.html

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What causes a teen to become violent? Get the stats on teen violence, facts on school violence and school bullying, and information on abusive relationships here. Learn why adolescents become violent and which teens are at risk for violent behaviors.

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I wonder why do some adults wish they could go back to be a teen again.

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As an adult looking back on your teenage years, it's hard not to cringe. Not just because you (OK, I) looked like a roadie for a Poison cover band, but also because that's the time in your life when every adult you speak to hands out some sort of generic life advice, and you don't realize until years later that half of everything you heard was total bullshit. It's easy to be fooled at that age, because you've been taught to give weight to what adults tell you. You know, because they have more experience in life than you do. Unfortunately, since very few of the people you meet will be geniuses -- or even wise, for that matter -- that means you'll be accidentally trusting the words of some complete fucking idiots.

Looking back on my own teenage years, there are a few basic things I wish I had known right out of the gate.

One of the most annoying bullshit messages you'll ever hear in life is "You can do anything you put your mind to!" It's in every Christmas special, family sitcom, motivational speech, sermon, inspirational song, feel-good movie of the summer .... We are so saturated with that lesson that if you squeeze our stomachs, rainbows will shoot out of our assholes. It is probably the single most popular half-truth in existence. I call it a half-truth because on a certain level, it is absolute gospel (and at the very least, common sense). If you work your ass off, master your craft, talk to the right people, and be as persistent as a hemorrhoid throb, you'll make it happen.

But do me a favor and sit through this for as long as you can. It's cool, I'll wait.

Those are some American Idol rejects, and as of the writing of this sentence, this one compilation video has about 12.1 million views. Now, if the internet were the only place you could find compilations like this, that would be one thing, but the show itself runs about seven audition shows at the beginning of each season, typically focusing on the worst of the worst, coupled with the judges' reactions. In other words, we're watching peoples' lifelong dreams get crushed for entertainment.

That's incredibly important, because while we're laughing our third nipple off at how extremely bad these pieces of shit suck at singing, we don't for one second imagine ourselves in that same situation. We know our limitations. We know when to pull back. These people are just crazy and deluded, right? Not entirely. There's every chance that they simply never had anyone tell them how they measure up to industry standards -- or even singing-alone-in-the-shower standards. Many of those people have been inadvertently tricked into thinking that success is about perseverance and determination because nobody ever stressed to them that they have to actually have some sort of talent to begin with.

I'm not suggesting that you give up your dreams. Hell, I'm not suggesting that even if you suck on the level of the musical E. coli in that video. If you have a dream, you need to make a sincere attempt to achieve it. What I'm saying is, if it turns out that you don't have what it takes, you need to be realistic about the possible outcomes. What do you want to be known for? Ed Wood is an incredibly famous filmmaker -- not because he was awesome, but because he's considered to be the worst director to ever live. All he cared about was making movies that people would love, and in the end, he's known for his catastrophic level of suck.

Now watch this American Idol video:

That's a man named William Hung, who, after that ear fuck of a performance, got a record deal and ended up selling 200,000 copies. He hit No. 1 on the indie charts and No. 34 on the overall U.S. charts. He wanted to get into the music industry, and by god, he did. But I sincerely doubt he ever imagined it would be because he sang like the waning throes of a car-tagged deer. Who the fuck has a dream that starts out with "I'm going to suck worse than anyone who has ever lived"?

I'm as guilty as every other adult of calling teenagers dumb. Mostly I do it because I just love giving people shit for no reason, but other times I look at them and genuinely think "How could you possibly not understand a concept this fucking simple? I can't believe you dumbasses are going to be running this count- holy Jesus crotch, I just became own grandfather." But if I were to pull my head out of my ass for ten seconds and sincerely try to remember what it was like when I was a kid, I'd realize that the reason many teens don't understand a concept that seems like second nature to adults is because they haven't fucking learned it yet, you ignorant twat.

We fall into this trap all the time when we look at other peoples' success and then wonder what we're doing wrong ourselves. That's one of the driving forces in keeping us active and pushing for a better life, but in comparing ourselves to others in that manner, it's extremely easy to think of ourselves as stupid or inadequate. Trust me, you're not. Well, most of you aren't. Some of you are genuinely dumb, in pretty much the same percentage as found in adult social circles. If you're one of those people, feel free to skip this point and move on to the next one.

No, the reason you aren't where that other person is in life isn't that you're dumb. It's that you haven't had access to the same lessons that got them where they are. Or maybe you did have access, but for whatever reason, the lesson just didn't sink in. Or you didn't realize there was even a lesson in progress (they can be pretty sneaky). Or you didn't understand what it was teaching. Regardless, none of these circumstances mean that you're dumb.

The people who are sincerely too dumb to progress in life couldn't have made it this far into a text article in the first place, let alone have the self-awareness to give a crap about their own level of intelligence. Yes, it's frustrating when you feel yourself busting your ass with little to no forward progression, but believe me, the fact that you're trying to understand why is a good sign that you're on the right track.

In another article, I told you that high school is not the best years of your life. I brought it up because even though adults have the best of intentions when they spew this bullshit, they're putting out not only a false message, but a harmful one to boot. There's nothing like talking to a person who's prone to depression, in the throes of rebellion, addled by hormones, and under more stress than they'd ever experienced before, and telling them that this is the best life will ever be. Good job, adults.

But it goes further than that. If someone boils your life down to a specific time frame in which you can expect the most enjoyable, rewarding things to happen, that person has no goddamn idea what they're talking about. If you're reading this article at age 15 in a First-World country, your life expectancy is right around 80 years. That means you have about 80 percent of your life left to live. Think about that. Do you honestly believe that the very best things you'll ever experience in life are taking place before you're even allowed to drive your own car? Before you have your own job and your own a house with your own rules? Does that make sense?

Of course not. If the person telling you this horseshit is 40 years old, even they have about 50 percent of their own life to experience. How can they possibly advise you on what the best age is, when they still have yet to experience half of their own lifetime? Mathematically, the best times of your life haven't happened yet, and probably won't for many, many years. For all you know, the last four seconds of your life could end up feeling like a spiritual orgasm. Maybe you die having sex with a ghost or something.

But even if you set simple math aside, you have to keep in mind that the people handing out this sort of generic advice aren't taking into account that their experiences at that age are most likely going to be drastically different from yours. Not just because of a change in generations, but also because we're all individuals with different factors governing our lives. Put those same people in a room with their old high school classmates, ask them all what the best time in their lives have been, and you'll get different answers across the board.

Your goal is to make right now the best time in your life, regardless of what happened yesterday. I'm telling you as straight up as I can that if you're in that frame of mind when you're 30, you will give your kids' generation a whole lot more to look forward to. And you're going to be a whole lot less miserable when you're not looking back and thinking, "Wait, that was it? Why the fuck am I even still trying?" Nope. You have a loooooong way to go, chief. Life is pretty goddamn awesome, and I assure you that the best of it sure as fuck isn't crammed into a four-year period that throws brackets around the most awkward and chaotic you'll ever be.

In yet another article, I talked about bad sources of advice, and the overall message there could be boiled down to a single Tweet from comedian Kyle Cease: "Only take advice from people who are where you want to be. Because most people are dangerously stupid."

We aren't just talking about people who are where you want to be in terms of a career, but in any facet of life -- emotional, spiritual, financial, mental, social, criminal. If I ever become homeless and nobody will help me out, I'm taking advice on how to keep warm from another homeless guy who survived last night's snowstorm. But I'm probably not trusting his financial opinions or warnings about the eminent invasion of the Eel Summoner.

It's important to know that, because you're going to get advice from everyone, and all the goddamn time. It's good to know how to rank and prioritize that information. But regardless of where we get it, there's every chance in the world that you're going to blow it off because you have this all under control. It's human nature. "My life isn't a catastrophe, so I must be doing something right. Right? Guys?"

It's only later when the doctor is showing you an x-ray of a spot on your lung that you give the ball-crushing attention to his warnings that you are going to fucking die if you don't fucking quit fucking smoking, fucko.

We all do it. People will do it to you when you get to a position in life where your advice isn't laughable pig farts and actually starts carrying some weight. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know. Probably a little of both, I guess, depending on the situation. But the point isn't so much about being right or wrong as it is the overall lesson of "Be aware. This stuff happens, so take notice."

From birth until the day you move out on your own, pretty much every facet of your life is controlled by someone else. Parents, teachers, babysitters, the secretive nameless guardian who taught you to kill from the quiet embrace of the shadows. There's always someone looking over your shoulder to prevent you from fucking up. "Don't run in the house, you'll get hurt." "Don't stab that guy, you'll go to jail again."

So from the time we're old enough to rationalize, we're trained that nothing is truly under our own control, and if we do happen to fuck up, the most we have to fear is getting grounded, spanked, or yelled at. When you enter adulthood, that all changes literally overnight. Except for the spanking thing.

For the first time, you'll be put into situations in which the only person you have to answer to is yourself. How will you react? Take away the teacher, and do you start slacking off? Take away mom and dad's rules on junk food, and do you start eating at McDonald's every day? Take away the police patrols, and do you strip naked and set houses on fire, cackling like a crazed hyena?

This is what we're dealing with when we talk about things like addiction, teen pregnancy, and obesity (the type that's not tied to a physical cause, of course). It's an area in which the only person who is going to give you hell is your future self. Are you prepared for that? I wasn't. Hell, I'm not sure I know anyone who was. Because keeping yourself in check when the temptation is there to just take the easy way out is excruciating. "Man, I don't feel like cooking tonight. Maybe I'll just order a pizza again." Yes, others may voice their concerns about your choices ("Dude, you're pushing 300 pounds, and you've eaten pizza every day for two months"), but nobody is going to step in and force you to get your shit under control, unless it's flat-out breaking the law. That's your thing now, and failing to master that self-control could fuck your life right on up.

It's probably best to just accept this one right now. I didn't until I was in my mid-30s, and it damn near killed me. You're better than that. But if all else fails, at least remember this article in 15 years. I'll either be one of those guys I mentioned earlier who's completely full of shit, or it'll feel strangely prophetic.
John has a Twitter, where he regularly gets mistaken for John Cleese. If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you. Hey Cracked Podcast fans: Join Alex Schmidt, David Christopher Bell, Brett Raider and our favorite comedians Hallie Cantor, Greg Edwards, and Danielle Radford Saturday, October 14, for a serious(ly funny) discussion about little-known monsters that would be fun & hilarious as movie monsters. Get your tickets here. For more check out 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person and 5 Pieces of Advice Every High School Graduate Should Get. Subscribe to our YouTube find out why we're lost in a sea of confusion in The Worst Advice To Get In Your 20's, and watch other videos you won't see on the site! Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page. It'll be the best click you ever clicked.

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5 Pieces of Advice Every Adult Wishes They Got As A Teenager

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As an adult looking back on your teenage years, it's hard not to cringe. Not just because you (OK, I) looked like a roadie for a Poison cover band, but also because that's the time in your life when every adult you speak to hands out some sort of generic life advice, and you don't realize until years later that half of everything you heard was total bullshit.

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I wonder if teenagers in different cultures mature or go through the same thing.

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Teenagers in Korea got it pretty good depending on how you look at it. They all are entitled to receive a public education, most all of them come from 2 parent homes, they are pretty much all fed well, most all of them have smart phones, and the list goes on and on.

Of course, depending on what perspective you view the life of a Korean teenager from, they may or may not indeed have a better or worse life than teenagers in other countries? And.. just how exactly do we measure better or worse?

How many hours would you estimate you spent in high school each week? Teens for instance in South Korea, when compared with teens from most other countries are pretty much schooled to death. No joke. The average teenager in Korea spends more than 70 hours per week sitting in a desk in school. Some spend upwards of 100 or more hours. If this sounds like a lot, you're probably right. (By the way, the hyperlink provided above is not exactly up to date. Tutors don't often comes to homes en mass, although it is still a practice. Usually students attend 'yaja' or study session in the evening and also attend 'hagwon' aka private academy.)

But that doesn't mean they don't try to enjoy their life in their free time. Many enjoy Kpop, but not all, and probably the hobby that most seem to enjoy besides just hangin' with friends is going to the movies. They all seem to like it! A lot of them also love computer games, and many spend lots of hours in PC Bangs playing games with friends. Others love to watch TV and spend time online. Still others enjoy sports in their spare time, but that's actually more unusual in Korea since it's pricier to play sports just as a hobby.

Teens here have a low pregnancy rate and rarely to they experiment with drugs. This should lead to people having a happier life, right? I can't be so sure. Click here if you'd like published account of what's really on the minds of some teenagers in Korea.

To be honest, we both believe it's pretty darn stressful to be a teenager in Korea. The education system is relentless, more than most other places. If you're the type of person that is really a natural at succeeding at standardized tests, then this just might be the place for you. Otherwise, lots of people struggle and some just accept the fact very early on that they are not going to be super successful in life.

What's a teenager's life like where you're from? How similar or different is it from a Korean's experience? Would you rather be here in Korea as a teen, or does life sound a bit better for teenagers where you are from? I'm curious to know what you think!

Got a question for Richard and I? Drop us a note below, in the YouTube comments of this video, or anywhere on our Facebook page. We might answer it in one of the next LIKE IT videos! ☺

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teenager south korea teen life korean high school suicide typical hallyuback

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What's a Typical Korean Teenager's Life Like?

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Teenagers in Korea got it pretty good depending on how you look at it. They all are entitled to receive a public education, most all of them come from 2 parent homes, they are pretty much all fed well, most all of them have smart phones, and the list goes on and on.

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I wonder why so many teenagers end up dropping out of High School?

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http://www.eduguide.org/article/whyHigh School Dropout Rates Plummet | UHigh School Dropout Rates Plummet | UHigh School Dropout Rates Plummet | U-kids-drop-out-of-school

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I wonder why do teenagers rush to grow up?

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I've always loved reading. Like, always always. When my mom starts telling stories about me as a baby, she'll always start with how she told me, when I was about three, that when I finished a book, we'd go back to the bookstore and get me another-- and she had to stop that after the third book I'd read in one day. So I've quite literally always been a bookworm.

I've always been a bit of an outcast, too. Picture, if you will, an awkward, scrawny little girl with John Lennon transition lens glasses and books from the "big kid" section in the library, and make her just a little bit weirder than you first imagined. Add more empathy than necessary for anyone and no idea when to shut up (or speak up), and that's me in third grade.

I'm not that awkward anymore, thankfully. At some point, I learned how to speak up-- to stand up for what I think is right. I learned that I may not make friends easily, but the friends that I have will be here for the long haul. I kind of grew into myself, I suppose, and I owe that entirely to books and the magical, wondrous characters in them.

Recently, I had an argument with my dad about whether or not fiction actually has an impact on society. He argued that because the stories aren't real, they have no reason to impact him or his worldview. He's an adult, he said, and he has no reason to be affected by stories. I had to disagree because I'm only the person that I am today because of fiction.

The first series of books I remember being truly, deeply invested in was The Sisters Grimm by Michael Buckley. Think Once Upon A Time for young teenagers. They spoke to my dreamy, starry-eyed nature with the fairy-tale aspect, but Sabrina and Daphne were written in a way that seemed less childish and more realistic, in spite of everything about their world.

Sabrina was fiery and sarcastic, and she had put up a wall to avoid getting hurt. I wanted to be her, but in reality, I was more like Daphne - wide-eyed, idealistic, and a prime candidate to be taken advantage of by the world. I devoured the first five of the nine books and patiently awaited the next two, but I never got around to reading the rest of the series.

Much like almost every other millennial/gen X'er, Harry Potter consumed much of my life. I read the books at the ripe old age of eight-or-so, and I have vivid memories of running into my parents' room and crying when Dumbledore died. He was the wise old grandfatherly type that I wanted in my life, that everyone wanted in their life. He was there for Harry, and he was gone. (In recent years, I've figured out that he isn't such a blatantly good character, but that's neither here nor there.) I still hadn't experienced real loss in a way that I could recall, and this hit me so hard.

Harry inspired me, though. I wouldn't realize it for quite some time, but the boy who lived gave me hope and determination in a way I never knew I needed.

I think The Hunger Games affected me the most, honestly. There was nothing quite like reading about a teenage girl sending herself to a death match for her baby sister, who was older than I was first time I read the books. On top of that, Katniss had experienced loss on a level that I couldn't comprehend, and she was still that selfless for the people she loved.

I admired that deeply. I also admired how whole-heartedly she believed in her cause and how willing she was to sacrifice herself for it. If I'm being realistic, Katniss Everdeen is single-handedly responsible for anything radical or rebellious in me, and I'm so grateful for that.

Listing every book and every character that's impacted me would take pages upon pages, and frankly, I don't have that kind of time - but I can't fully explain how thankful I am for all those stories, anyway. I can only hope that those stories continue to affect others the way they affected me.

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Why Does This Generation Of Teenagers Want To Grow Up So Quickly?

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I've always loved reading. Like, always always. When my mom starts telling stories about me as a baby, she'll always start with how she told me, when I was about three, that when I finished a book, we'd go back to the bookstore and get me another-- and she had to stop that after the third book I'd read in one day.

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I wonder when you can be consider an adult?

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When is a kid not a kid anymore?

If you asked my 12-year-old daughter, the magical age would be 13 - the age when you're officially a teenager and can no longer be considered a "child." If you asked my 15-year-old niece, the age would be 16 - that's when she will be able to drive a car and get an after-school job. According to the U.S. government, a child officially becomes an adult when she turns 18. That's when she can vote and start paying taxes. But interestingly, even though an 18-year-old can go to war, the government does not consider that person mature enough to drink alcohol. The magical age for that rite of passage is 21. Still, even a kid who can go to war and buy a beer is not old enough to rent a car; for most car rental companies, the minimum age for rental is 25.

As it turns out, the folks at Hertz or Alamo may have a better idea about the age of maturity than the U.S. government. According to the latest research, the human brain does not fully develop until around age 25. And it's those last few years that are critical when it comes to things like impulse control and risk taking.

In studying scans of the adolescent brain, neurologists have learned that when kids are around the age of 18, their prefrontal cortex is only halfway developed. This is the area of the brain that helps control impulses, solve problems, regulate emotions and organize behavior. That's not to say that kids in their late teens and early 20s can't take on these tasks, but it does mean that it's harder for them to do - at least until around age 25 or so when this area of the brain fully develops.

This isn't exactly a news flash for generations of parents who have watched their teens take crazy risks while seeming unable to get their lives together until they hit their mid-20s. For the average teen growing up in a supportive family (and I mean emotionally and financially), the latest findings are not really a big deal. Moms and dads will continue to bail out their college-aged kids if they get themselves in a mess.

But this information sheds new light on the way kids without as much support are treated. In the foster care system, once a child turns 18, he is considered an adult and can no longer receive state-sponsored support. And many people think this is way too early for a teen to be on his own, especially a teen who has experienced an unstable childhood and who may be more likely to have problems controlling impulses than his peers from more stable homes.

Because of this, some foster care advocates think it makes more sense for 25 to be the new legal age of adulthood. They want the age of maturity to be based on science, not arbitrary numbers.

I'm not sure that this concept will fly with my 12-year-old, or even my niece. But then again, when they mess up in their teenage years, my family will be there to (hopefully) pick them up and get them back on their feet.

Not all teens have that luxury.

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When should a person be considered an adult?

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When is a kid not a kid anymore? If you asked my 12-year-old daughter, the magical age would be 13 - the age when you're officially a teenager and can no longer be considered a "child." If you asked my 15-year-old niece, the age would be 16 - that's when she will be able to drive a car and get an after-school job.

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I wonder why teenagers have problems communicating with their parents?

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I wonder why teenagers do not communicate with their parents.

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I once read that the teenage years can be likened to the toddler years. Both stages of life are a time of significant developmental change. Toddlers and teens alike experience significant body and mind development that can have them behaving in ways you have never seen. Just as they are figuring out who they are, we, as parents, struggle to understand the child we once thought we knew inside out.

But the thing is, that is what they need from us most of all; to understand. The way we interact with our young children, the words we use, the intonation in our voice and even our body language can have a huge impact on whether they will feel comfortable talking to us about the big issues they will inevitably face as teens. If we are not empathetic and understanding of the 'little things' they face in their early years (which are actually big things to them) then chances are they will have a hard time opening up about the big things when they grow older.

Imagine if your son came home from school after spending the day coping with peers calling him names and throwing his back pack on the toilet block roof. Imagine then if he were to say nothing to you about it but instead went straight to his room. Would you want to have the opportunity to talk to him about it? How about if your daughter was struggling with her peers pressuring her to take drugs, would you want to know? If your daughter fell pregnant and was frightened about the huge choices she would soon be making, would you want her to be able to come to you for help? If she chose to abort the child, I know you'd want to know about that!

Responding to these questions is confronting and uncomfortable.

We would all like to pray and hope that our children will never find themselves in these situations but we would be naive to think that our children are completely immune from the perils of adolescence.

I've been a secondary school teacher for more than a decade now. I have taught in schools on both sides of the world and at both ends of the economic spectrum. In my time as a health and physical education teacher I have been privileged to teach, mentor and guide students through their teen years in many differing ways and in a number of roles.

Of course, teaching these students was my primary role and I really enjoyed that aspect of my job, but what if I told you that each of the students in the scenarios above chose not to talk to their parents? What if I told you that in each of the cases, the only person they felt they could talk to was me - their teacher?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about the fact that I can be a confidante for these students during some pretty harrowing years, in fact, I feel touched and grateful that they were able to find the confidence to open up at all. But, now that I am a parent and have had a chance to reflect upon these scenarios with a different perspective, I realise that the trials of the teenage years are life-shaping to many. I know that if these were my children in the future, I would want them to feel they could come to me when times got tough.

I have since lost count of the number of students that, burdened with what must have felt like the weight of the world, broke down during a conversation after class and confided in me. From friendship issues to relationship concerns, pregnancy scares and drug experiences, these students spoke of their fears, their regrets and their inability to find their way past it.

There were, of course, times where I was legally obliged to report their stories to my superiors and from there the children had access to the professional support they needed. But many times these children simply needed a shoulder cry on; someone to hear them and to understand.

So, why don't teenagers talk to their parents?

In every case, I queried, "Is there someone you can talk to about this at home?" and almost always the answer was a resounding, "No!" With rationales like, "They just wouldn't understand" or "They would be so disappointed in me!" coming flooding out with the tears that fell uncontrollably, it often seemed that this realisation itself was to them sometimes more painful than the life event they were dealing with.

So where did their relationship break down? When did it get to the point that these children no longer felt comfortable talking to their parents about their deepest fears, their hurts and their pain? When did their problems get so big that they felt the only person they could trust to talk to about them was their school teacher?

Well, I can tell you honestly that in most cases it was not because these parents were uncaring, unloving or bad parents. In most cases it was quite the opposite. These were in fact, strong, capable, got-it-together parents who would do anything for their children and raised them to have good morals and high values. They were adoring and hard-working and would consider themselves great role-models for their children.

I can also say categorically that these children were not 'broken' or disconnected children. Many of them were high achievers, diligent, popular and outwardly happy. They cared about their life and had goals and aspirations. They also had a lot of love for their parents.

The problem it seemed, stemmed from their childhood, where somewhere along the way they had come to the conclusion that their parent's love and approval was conditional of good behaviour and achievement.

You see, in a well-intended, concerted effort to ensure their children are raised to be upstanding members of society, many parents use punitive, disconnecting discipline techniques. Methods such as time-outs, removal of privileges, shaming and spanking are among the most common of these methods. They, coupled with achievement-based rewards and praise, unwittingly send the message that with achievement comes love and with misbehaviour comes reprehension. This can effectively close the doors for a trusting, honest and communicative relationship between parent and child in the future.

My time spent with thousands of teenagers over the past decade has had a significant impact on the parenting pathway I have taken. My children are still some way off hitting their teen years, but I am confident that the way I parent them now will have a significant bearing on how comfortable they will feel communicating to me during those vulnerable teenage years.

As my children grow I want them to know that no matter what happens; no matter what trouble they find themselves in, they can always come to me. I want them to know that I will support them, guide them and love them no matter what.

I know that if you have read this far, this is probably something you would want for your children also.

So, what do we need to do to foster an open relationship with our children?

To create that open, trusting relationship we need to be mindful of the way we parent them now. It is now that we are laying the foundations for our relationship in the years to come.

We need to admire and respect them for who they are - warts and all! With unconditional love, support and understanding, no matter how testing the behaviour, we must send our children the clear message that not only will we always accept them for who they are, we will always support and help them with kindness and understanding when they are having a hard time. They need to know that they can always be confident and proud of who they are no matter the short-comings they may be attributed and we can relay this to them in our interactions with them.

How can we demonstrate acceptance and understanding on a daily basis?

1. Choose Discipline Over Punishment

It is vital to grow connection with our children by using discipline rather than punish ment. Teaching through guidance rather than by fear encourages children to remain open about their mistakes rather than hiding them away.

Janet Lansbury, a parenting teacher and RIE (respectful parenting) associate taught me that when our children are having a hard time and displaying testing toddler behaviours, this is our opportunity to show them we are open for them to communicate to us their pain. We can show them understanding by reaching out to them during these times and acknowledging their frustrations. We can say things like, "It seems you are having a hard time playing with your sister, I will sit here with you so I can help you." And then do it. Keep them both safe and show compassion and understanding to both siblings as they both have their own demons to deal with.

If we punish them by taking away their favourite toy or sending them to their room, or showing them the same aggression they might be displaying towards their sibling, not only do we send them the message that we don't want to try to understand them but we also close the door on an opportunity to communicate and connect.

Why Timeouts Fail and What to do Instead

2. Acknowledge Physical and Emotional Hurt

When they fall and bump their knee and begin to whine or cry, we can let them know we empathise with their pain. It may just be a small scrape but we mustn't try to stop their tears by telling them they are alright if they are clearly upset. By finding something to distract them with or dismissing their pain rather than acknowledging their discomfort and offering them some TLC, we are telling them, we don't want to hear about their hurts. We only want them to be happy.

Similarly, when a child is feeling emotional about a particular circumstance that may seem trivial to us as adults, acknowledge and validate their feelings. It IS a big deal to them so it is important we show them that we understand and empathise. Parenting is easy when our children are happy, it is when they are sad, angry or frustrated that we can truly let them know we understand and accept ALL sides of them and that our love is unconditional.

So, how do we avoid creating an approval-based relationship?

Whilst keeping lines of communication wide open from birth is vital in fostering a trusting relationship with children, a relationship based upon the need for approval can also cause a teen to withdraw and withhold from us for fear of retribution.

As children grow and develop it can be tempting to push them beyond their capabilities in an effort to help them achieve milestones and learn new skills. When a child begins to pull themselves up on couches, for example, it might prompt us to take their hand and show them they can walk across the room. This achievement is celebrated by enthusiastic parents who might clap their hands and coo "Good boy!" to their child.

The message this sends the child is that just pulling themselves up on the couch is not good enough. It plants a seed of self-doubt as they question the worthiness of their actual capabilities. They get drawn towards the prospect of more attention and praise if only they could just take those extra few steps.

Accepting that a child's skills, abilities, behaviours, emotions etc on any given day are perfect for that child at that time takes a significant change in ideals and perceptions but what it does do is create an environment for our children to become contentedly and innately driven to learn, achieve, grow and develop along a natural pathway. A child who feels their worth is measured by results, achievements and good behaviour will soon need to see, hear and feel parental approval to gain confidence and continue moving forward.

Rebuilding a Child's Confidence

I have seen first-hand the impact on teenagers who have had these subtle messages unwittingly reinforced to them by their well-meaning parents over the course of their childhood. These children become fearful of disappointing their parents and worried that confiding in them will be met with judgement and disapproval.

During the adolescent years, teen's bodies are undergoing huge changes fuelled by hormones. At the same time they experience a developmental need to assert independence and additionally, possess underdeveloped brain matter which encourages them towards more risk-taking activities. In short, a significant number of teenagers will experiment, test and become more emotional during adolescence, leaving them vulnerable to the sorts of situations I mentioned earlier in the article.

Therefore, (just as in their toddlerhood) teens need love and understanding more than ever, If they don't feel confident they can get this as home, many will seek out a trusted source such as their teacher to unload their burdens.

Whilst having our children open up to an alternative confidante would not be the end of the world, wouldn't we rather they felt they could come to us should they be concerned, worried or looking for guidance? I know I would want to be there to help my daughters should they need it.

I feel strongly that over the next decade, as our children navigate through their childhood, finding their feet and developing a stronger understanding of who they are, what they stand for, their strengths and their limitations, our role as their parents must be to walk alongside them, showing them unconditional love and understanding. This, I believe, will give them the confidence they need to be able to confide in us if, or when, their lives get tough.

When they hurt, we will empathise. When they scream, we will listen. When they make mistakes, we will support them. When they reject us, we will understand and love them. When they fall down, we will let them know they are still loved as they pick themselves back up again and move on. This must be our pledge to our children.
I still occasionally see the student of mine who aborted her child. She was legally able to make this decision for herself and went through with it with no family support. She went on to have a beautiful family a little later with her partner and is a terrific mother. She says her Mum and Dad still have no idea about her first pregnancy and she doubts she will ever tell them.
My parenting is inspired by Magda Gerber's RIE approach which I learned of through Janet Lansbury's work. If you are interested in learning more you can find some good information here or I highly recommend these books (affiliate links)

Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect (2nd Edition) ~ Magda Gerber

Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities - From the Very Start
~ Magda Gerber

Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting ~ Janet Lansbury

No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame ~ Janet Lansbury

More recommended reading:

Taking the Brunt of a Child's Anger and Still Finding Connection ~ Kate Russell (Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids)

Creating Bonds: Accepting a Child's Emotions ~ Kate Russell (Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids)

Talking to Toddlers: 4 Secrets That Bring you Closer ~ Janet Lansbury (Janet Lansbury-Elevating Childcare)

Foolproof Strategies for Getting Kids to Talk ~ Laura Markham (Aha Parenting)

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk ~ Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (Affiliate Link)

Photo Credit: Copyright: Ed Yourdon (Flickr) (Image adjusted - lighting and text added)

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Why Teenagers Don't Talk to Their Parents and What you can do About it Now With Your Toddler

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I once read that the teenage years can be likened to the toddler years. Both stages of life are a time of significant developmental change. Toddlers and teens alike experience significant body and mind development that can have them behaving in ways you have never seen.

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What are the things teenagers worry about?

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It's been a heck of a long time since I was a teenager, but I'd like to share with you that, no matter what changes in our world, the things teens worry about remain the same.

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I wonder why teenagers are so hard on themselves?

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How to Help Kids Who Are Too Hard on Themselves - Child Mind Institute

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Is your child self-critical? Child Mind Institute offers parenting tips for improving your child’s self confidence and freeing your child from negative thinking.

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i wonder if teenagers every think

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I wonder if all teenagers go through the cranky stage, and what makes them go get cranky?

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Parents often complain their teenagers are moody, impulsive and self-centered -- but it may not be their fault.

The secret to understanding teens' behavior may lie in understanding their brain chemistry, says Dr. Frances Jensen, chair of the University of Pennsylvania neurology department and author of The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults.

Jensen, a neuroscientist and mother of two teenage boys, describes adolescence as the "second critical period of development," after early childhood. The brain is developing until the mid-20s, she explains, and this has significant implications for young adults' emotional lives and decision-making.

In a recent interview with HuffPost Science, Jensen answered some of our questions about the mysteries of the teenage brain.
What inspired you to study the teenage brain?
I've had a career for many years looking at brain development. When I was doing all these experiments in my lab, I didn't realize that I also had an experiment going on in my house with my sons, who were definitely changing, to say the least.

What was going on with my sons was fascinating -- and it was also frustrating. So I decided that I would turn my potential anger and frustration into curiosity, and given that I was already in brain development, I just switched my focus to a different window of development, and I realized that there was a wealth of extremely recent information and a lot of this research just wasn't getting out to the public.
What makes the teen brain so different from the adult brain?
It was only recently that scientists realized that the brain is the last organ in the body to reach maturity and that it does not reach maturity during puberty. Development goes on into the mid-20s. That was big news, and people only became aware of it in the early 2000s when it was starting to hit the literature... As a parent and a scientist, it all started to gel for me. In every species that we look at, it's the last organ in the body to reach full maturity. Because the brain is built on experience, and it takes the first two and a half decades of life to sort of "scaffold" the brain. During the teenage years, your brain is actually stronger for learning and memory and being imprinted upon than it will be later in life. It's a carpe diem point.

Of course, there are a lot of weaknesses, and that's what you're picking up on as a parent -- Why did this smart person do this really stupid thing? What are they thinking? Do they think? -- And a lot of that has science behind it. It's made me a more patient parent.
In terms of decision-making, would it be accurate to say that teenagers are wired to be risk-takers?
Yes, it is absolutely accurate. What we know is that the frontal lobes -- which are the seat of executive function, decision-making, empathy, judgment, insight and impulse control -- are the last places that hook up to the rest of the brain during development.

It's not that teens don't have frontal lobes -- they can still do really well on their SATs and reason through things. But split-second decision making is a weakness. They don't involve their frontal lobes and that explains the, "Oh I'll take a left into oncoming traffic because I think I can get past that truck barreling towards me." So we think the risk taking is very much biologically based and teens are very impulsive.

Their decisions -- especially the split-second decisions, which are more vulnerable -- are also under more emotional influence than they are in an adult. The emotional areas of the brain (the amygdala, the lymbic system), the reward systems and the systems for sexual desire are hooked up to the rest of the brain ahead of the frontal lobes. So they have high emotional responses. And fMRI has shown that the limbic systems light up much faster and much more intensely [in teens] than adults. That's partly because they don't have the frontal lobes to say, "There's a way out of the situation," or "There are going to be consequences if you get mad at this person."

Their decisions may be under more emotional influence than they will be later in life, because there's an imbalance between the two systems.
Does this also explain why teenagers are so moody?
We believe this [imbalance] contributes to the moodiness and can increase the stress response, too. This is a concern because too much stress in the teen years changes the way your brain develops -- it can actually set up neurochemical imbalances that increase your risk for depression in later life.
Where do hormones fit into this picture?
Hormones causing moodiness is kind of the myth. There's much more to the story than hormones, and that's a really important thing to get across. It's more about the imbalance between your frontal lobe and your limbic system than it is about the hormones that are being produced the testes and ovaries running around in your bloodstream.

There's much more to the story than hormones.

However, their brains are seeing levels of hormones that they've never seen before, and they have to learn to manage those hormones. It is a learning curve on how to manage the ups and downs of a testosterone surge or the waxing and waning of estrogen and progesterone through the menstrual cycle... Through experience, the brain will dampen the fluctuations in behavior in response to fluctuations in hormones.
Teenagers today are more connected to digital devices than any generation before them. Should we be concerned about how this is affecting their brains?
There's a couple things to be said about the digital invasion of our brains at that age. The first is yes, this is a thing of the future -- it's not going to go away and it's probably only going to get more intense. The amount of information that's coming at teenage brains is unprecedented compared to any other generation. They're also going to have to grow up in this world and they have to adapt.

Children and teenagers can learn better than adults -- in most cases, they're learning technology better than us, and they're probably able to multitask better than adults.

But they're not perfect. I cite a study in the book about teens' ability to multitask, which finds that they're better than other generations simply because they've grown up on this. But they still do better when they're focusing on a single task rather than on multiple tasks. That's important for teenagers to know because they'll still suffer the consequences of divided attention for encoding and recall of information.
In the book, you talk about some of the particularly negative effects that smoking, drinking, marijuana and other drugs can have on the developing brain. Why might these substances be more dangerous for a teenager?
Here's another myth to be debunked: Teens are not as resilient as we think they are. People say "Oh, they'll bounce back," but they don't. Drugs and alcohol and stress work on, guess what -- brain synapses. They have more [synapses] than we do, and it's not a stretch to suggest that those drugs will have more of an effect in the moment on those brains than they would in adulthood. With cannabis, the effects last longer for a teenager and the residual impairment of synaptic function from smoking pot can last for days.

Likewise, binge drinking can actually cause brain injury in the adolescent with alcohol levels that would just cause severe intoxication in an adult. So there's the acute effect. But in addition, their brains are growing every day during this period. You give a drug, you put the brain development on hold or set it backwards. After the drug has cleared the system, the brain is not in the place it's supposed to be three days later. You've actually changed the way the brain is developing, and neurochemical systems start to change.
A recent study found that helicopter parenting can negatively affect teens by lowering their self-esteem and increasing risky behaviors like binge-drinking and shoplifting. Is there a neurological basis to this?
What you're going to get with helicopter parenting is a kind of learned helplessness. The kids have never had to make a decision. They're not even aware that there are decisions there to be made because they were denied the awareness of the decisions by the parents. I've heard another term people have been using in the past couple years -- "bulldozer parents" -- who are the ones who clear the future for their kids so that they can just walk through.

The teenage years are a period where you're really scaffolding, for the last time, the brain you're going to live with for the rest of your life. You're developing experiences, you're learning from the experiences, you're creating synaptic pathways. You have to learn from experience -- learning isn't all in the classroom, you have to learn from your own mistakes. Trial and error will teach you things.

I think parents should make sure they stay out of the day-to-day trial and error, because your kid is going to need to use that experience to learn when to take a risk and when not to take a risk.

What you're going to get with helicopter parenting is a kind of learned helplessness. The kids have never had to make a decision, they're not even aware that there are decisions there to be made.
So what should these parents do?
Do with this information what you will, but parents should be aware that this is a really important time for development... Helicopter parents are often very well-meaning, but they'd be better off helping their kids with their own introspection, which is something a teenager has a great deal of challenge with as they develop their frontal lobes and their own comfort with themselves. You can help guide them through discussions, making them answer their own questions but structuring it for them.

It's like Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hours [of practice at a skill]. If you deny your kid those 10,000 hours, you're doing irrevocable damage to their future, probably.
Any other neuroscientist-approved advice for parents -- or teenagers themselves?
Being armed with facts can help you be a more patient parent because you understand the neurobiology. It also helps the kids themselves. When I give talks to kids, they're really excited to hear that they're seeking their identities in these years. They can change their fortunes. If you're not a scholar at 14, it's important for you to know that the doors aren't all closed.

Their mistakes shouldn't define them; they have a lot of capacity to change. We have to understand that as a society too -- there's a huge amount of dynamic change that can happen.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

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Why Are Teens So Moody And Impulsive? This Neuroscientist Has The Answer

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Parents often complain their teenagers are moody, impulsive and self-centered -- but it may not be their fault. The secret to understanding teens' behavior may lie in understanding their brain chemistry, says Dr. Frances Jensen, chair of the University of Pennsylvania neurology department and author of The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults .

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I wonder why some teenagers parents sometimes don't pay attention to to their kids when the teenager needs it the most.

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shironosov/iStock/Thinkstock

When we asked a group of kids ages 13 through 17 about their concerns, they said they wanted to be able to communicate with their parents in healthy, positive ways.

Can you believe it? Your teen wants a connection with you as much as you want one with him! Our kids want to talk to us!

So where's the breakdown?

Some kids just need an invitation. Others need more time to open up. Still others, though, are like the girl who said, "Every time I attempt to talk to my parents, they either yell at me before I tell my whole story or lecture me. If they'd be more open to talk with me and let me do some more talking, I'd talk with them a lot more."

Wherever you and your teen are on that spectrum of speaking, things can get better. And they will, when you take advantage of some tools parents and youth workers and counselors have been using with the kids they care about. Let's help you and your teen get to a deeper level by stocking your communication toolbox.

Listening Tools

Here are seven ways to make sure you really hear your teen - and to make sure he or she knows it.

1. Give him your full attention. I know you're so busy that you hardly have a moment to yourself. But now isn't the time for multitasking. Turn off the TV, the lawnmower, the blender - whatever's competing for your ears.

2. Reflect her emotions; don't mock them. Teens love to see their feelings reflected in your face. It tells them you understand how they felt when the coach yelled at them today. If their emotions seem over-the-top or the reasons for them seem trivial, remember that their world is smaller than yours - which makes each event look bigger.

3. Restate in your own words what you heard him say. Let's say your son is dating a girl named Jen. One day he comes home and tells you about Jen flirting with his best friend. You might say, "So, what I'm hearing you say is that it really hurt when Jen looked at Brian with the look she usually gives you." Restating helps ensure that you're truly hearing your teen. If you restate the situation incorrectly, it gives your teen a chance to re-explain, too.

4. Display attentive body language. Skip the eye rolling, sighs, arms crossed tightly against the chest, and looking over your shoulder or into the distance. Sit cross-legged on the floor or sofa, or turn a chair around and sit with your arms resting on the back. Lean forward slightly, nodding as appropriate.

5. Decide to be interested in what she's saying. This can be hard after a long day at work, coming home to a teen who wants to chatter about things that seem insignificant to you. Ask God to help you want to listen. The more you pay attention and ask clarifying questions, the more you'll find yourself interested in her life. It may help to remind yourself that what you're really interested in is her.

6. Listen to actions. How do you do that? You notice whether your teen is slamming doors or leaving incriminating notes from a boyfriend or girlfriend around the house. Is something wrong at school? In a relationship?

7. Be alert for moments of honesty and vulnerability. Teens will, on occasion, break down and spill what's on their hearts. When they do, give them all the time they need to share. Then ask, "Do you want me to give suggestions or help? Or do you just want me to listen?"

Location Tools

Where you communicate with your teen is important. It can make the difference between conversation and consternation. Here are four things to keep in mind about the places in which you talk:

1. Pick a place that provides an "out." Kids say it's easier to talk with their parents if there's something else to focus on when things get awkward. Examples of "safety valves": traveling in the car, eating ice cream or a meal, playing a game, walking in the park, putting a puzzle together, painting a wall, going to a museum, riding bikes. Teens want to talk, but don't want the pressure of having to do it without a break.

2. Avoid distractions. A safety valve (see #1) is a relief; a distraction grabs attention whether you want it to or not. Is that restaurant a good place to talk, or is the music always too loud? Have you turned off your pager? If you talk in the living room, will you hear little brother bouncing that tennis ball against the garage door? One teen found that even car conversations didn't work in her family: "Sometimes [my parents] are too concentrated on driving or whatever they are doing and don't pay attention to what I am saying."

3. Choose a safe place. Kids want a place where they feel at ease sharing the scary parts of their hearts. Where is that for your teen? In his room? In yours? On a jogging path? If you don't know, it's okay to ask.

4. If you find a place that works, stick with it. Try taking your teen to breakfast or lunch once a week. Establish a habit like this and your kids may get comfortable enough to open up, even asking hard questions about life. Try not to bring your own list of hard questions, though; your teen may begin to shy away from those mealtimes if they turn into interrogations or preaching practice.

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When we asked a group of kids ages 13 through 17 about their concerns, they said they wanted to be able to communicate with their parents in healthy, positive ways. Can you believe it? Your teen wants a connection with you as much as you want one with him!

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I wonder why teens are so insecure about themselves...

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Even the most confident and outspoken people have some things about themselves that they are not completely happy or satisfied with. It is completely natural to sometimes doubt the choices we have made, regret the things we have said, or want to improve ourselves in some area. In fact, fighting complacency is essential for making progress and reaching new heights. However, critical self-assessment is not the same as insecurity. Insecurity arises from the lack of confidence and feeds upon a weak character, whereas only those who are confident in themselves can impartially judge their own imperfections. It takes time to learn how to gain a footing in your life and comfortably grow into your own skin.

During teenage years insecurities are omnipresent and rife; in truth, overcoming self-doubts is a major part of growing up and maturing into adults. While insecurities do affect every teenager, they manifest themselves differently and with varying intensity, depending on a person's strength of character and environment. Teenage years are challenging in many ways. It is the time of great changes in life, and with the changes come pressure, worrying, uncertainty, and fear. Under such circumstances, sometimes a seemingly small incident can escalate into a major anxiety, which may engender a potentially self-destructive coping mechanism.

Teens face pressure from a multitude of sources: self-inflicted, peer, parental, and societal pressure compounded by the hormonal changes, continuously cut the ground from under their feet and feed into their insecurities. Adolescence is the time when yesterday's children start making their own decisions, search for the ways to express themselves, and benchmark their worth against one another. A previously solid bond between a parent and a child tends to weaken during this time and the relationship resembles a roller-coaster ride more than anything else. Facing challenges with a compromised support system, or without having someone to rely on, is a daunting task indeed.

Pinpointing specific causes of teenage insecurities oftentimes proves a difficult task for parents. Most teenagers don't share or discuss their doubts with others-especially adults-which makes it hard to figure out what troubles them and how the situation can be remedied. That said, the causes of teenage insecurities are countless: being alone, rejected, not a part of the popular crew; having bad grades, not-good-enough-for-mom-and-dad grades, not-good-enough-for-college grades; making mistakes, failing to achieve something, and therefore, disappointing one's friends, parents, teachers, or oneself; having the "wrong kind of" body, clothes, hobbies, entourage, and the list goes on.

According to Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove® Self-Esteem Fund, seven in ten girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school, and relationships with friends and family members. The researchers contend that these insecurities sprout from low self-esteem and that teenage girls with inadequate self-worth are more likely to engage in harmful coping behaviors. However, it is not just the girls who fall prey to insecurities-boys get affected just as much, according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, published in Psychology of Men & Masculinity journal. Just like their female counterparts, teenage boys excessively worry about their body image, which is a risk factor for elevated depressive symptoms among adolescent boys.

If not addressed, teenage insecurities may persist well into early adulthood. An alarming fact, considering the potential harmful effects of teenage insecurities and low self-confidence. Trouble sleeping, aggression, withdrawal, clinical anxiety, and depression are among the issues that insecure teens struggle most with. When a struggle proves too much for them to handle, teens often adopt dangerous coping mechanisms, such as disorderly eating or substance abuse, which in reality only make things worse, and in extreme cases may even be lethal.

To ensure peace of mind and safety of their children during adolescence, parents need to take early preemptive action. Helping children build self-confidence and instill a sense of self-worth from a young age is fundamental for helping them fight their insecurities later in life. Still, teenage years are full of uncertainty and teens' self-confidence can be easily swayed, so even most confident teens need parental reassurance from time to time. To help teenagers improve their self-esteem during adolescence, and also strengthen and maintain a positive relationship, parents should take advantage of the following few pieces of advice:

1. Eliminate negativity form words and thoughts. Start with positive self-talk. It is very easy to get frustrated with people who don't cooperate and lose your cool with them; easy but unproductive. To understand and support a struggling child, you need to help them open up to you about things that burden them. If you criticize your children for every petty detail, they will not share their concerns with you for the fear of being judged and censured. In order to sustain a positive dynamic between you two, you must maintain positive outlook at all times, even when your child is not around.

2. Foster open communication. If something is troubling your child, you should be the first person they would come to ask for help. You need to let your teenagers know that they can tell you anything, that you will listen and won't judge, that you will try to understand the problem from their point of view, and that you will offer constructive feedback, reassurance, and advice instead of condescending "What kind of a problem is that?" "It's your own fault!" or "I told you so".

3. Identify the triggers. What causes your child's anxiety, aggression, or reticence? Where do their fears come from? What makes you react one way or another in a course of a discussion or an argument with your teenager? Knowing their-and your-triggers is a powerful weapon for facilitating a conversation with your teen as well as removing them from the "danger zones," thus reducing their stress levels.

4. Ensure structure wherever possible. Structure gives teens that extra layer of comfort and support, and instills a greater sense of stability in them. When going through an emotional turmoil, teens get easily overwhelmed by the simplest inconveniences or unforeseen circumstances. Structure brings certainty, it gives them something to rely and count on when everything else seems to be in chaos.

5. Help the teens work on their goals and strategies to achieve them. To fight uncertainty, you need to rely on your goals and progress benchmarks. Uncertainty can make you feel helpless and stuck in one place-often a bad one-in life. Sense of achievement is indispensable for building self-confidence in teens. Setting realistic goals, breaking those into smaller sub-goals, and measuring related progress can make a difference in your child's attitude and outlook on the world.

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To ensure peace of mind and safety of their children during adolescence, parents need to take early preemptive action. Help teenagers improve their self-esteem during adolescence, and also strengthen and maintain a positive relationship, by taking advantage of these five pieces of advice.

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I wonder why most teens stay on their electronic devices instead of doing things outside

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Is YOUR teenager addicted to their mobile? 25% are 'almost constantly' on their phones

9 in 10 teens go online every day, unable to resist the lure of Facebook

Parents also face a nightmare monitoring children as 71% of teens use more than one social network, the Pew Research Centre found

Nearly three-quarters of teens have or have access to a smartphone

Nearly one in four teenagers are 'almost constantly' online as their lives are swallowed up ever more by their mobile phones, a study has revealed.

Some 24 per cent of 13 to 17-year-olds admitted they were continuously checking their devices, including when they were at school.

Nine in teenagers also confessed to going online every day as they were unable to resist the lure of Facebook and Instagram.

Parents now find it increasingly difficult to monitor their children's online behaviour as more than 70 per cent of teens use now more than one social network.

The study was carried out on American teenagers but the findings would likely be worse in the UK as more British teenagers own smartphones than their US counterparts.

The Pew Research Centre asked 1,060 children aged between 13 and 17 about their phone habits.

The report found that what Pew described as a 'frenzy of access' was facilitated by mobile phones - particularly smartphones.

Of the 92 per cent of teens who went online every day, more than half said that meant using their phones several times a day.

Some 12 per cent admitted to using a gadget once a day, six per cent said they went online just once a week and a mere two per cent said it was less than that.

IS EMAIL KILLING OFF THE ART OF CONVERSATION?

Phone ownership was almost ubiquitous among young people, meaning they grow up used to being able to access anything any time they want.

The Pew study found that nearly three-quarters of teens have access to a smartphone.

Some 30 per cent have a basic phone and just 12 per cent of 13 to 17-year-olds have no phone of any kind.

The study also looked at social media and found that middle class teenagers were more likely to use Snapchat, the controversial message service where the text and images disappears seconds after they are sent.

The service has been blamed for a rise in 'sexting', where young people send explicit pictures to each other.

Overall Facebook remains the most used social media site among teens with 71 per cent using it.

Amanda Lenhart, the lead author and associate director of research at the Pew Research Centre, said: 'There's been a huge diversification of social media.

'If you are wondering where your child is, you probably need to cast a wide net, because there is a variety of places where your teen could be spending his or her social media time'

Previous studies have starkly illustrated the extent to which young people are addicted to their mobiles.

Smartphone users check their devices an average of 150 times a day as they cannot bear to be apart from them, one research paper showed.

The study showed that we are so addicted to their mobiles that we cannot go 10 minutes without fiddling around with them.

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Is your teenager wasting their life online?

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9 in 10 teens go online every day, unable to resist the lure of Facebook Parents also face a nightmare monitoring children as 71% of teens use more than one social network, the Pew Research Centre found Nearly three-quarters of teens have or have access to a smartphone Nearly one in four teenagers are 'almost constantly' online as their lives are swallowed up ever more by their mobile phones, a study has revealed.

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I wonder why most teens are so unhappy when approaching adulthood.

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It warned that although many young people did not meet the criteria for mental health problems, they were nevertheless "substantially unhappy" with their lives.

Those teenagers were more likely to have low academic motivation, poor quality relationships with their family and feel as though they have a lot less money than their friends.

One interviewee said: "I know a lot of people who kind of feel forced to wear certain clothes because they're in the "in set" and they could get rejected."

Another said: "I wear what I want to wear but sometimes I do get people looking at me but I don't really mind because it's a free choice and I don't mind if people stare. They can do what they want."

Perceived levels of choice, autonomy and freedom were found to be directly linked to satisfaction levels, dropping between the ages of eight and 15 before rising at 16 and 17.

The study found that British children did not fare well in comparison with many developed nations, echoing the conclusions of a recent UNICEF report that ranked the UK 14th out of 29 countries on children's life satisfaction.

Matthew Reed, chief executive of The Children's Society, described the drop in children's happiness as "incredibly worrying".

He said: "These startling findings show that we should be paying particular attention to improving the happiness of this country's teenagers.

"These findings clearly show that we can't simply dismiss their low well-being as inevitable 'teen grumpiness'. They are facing very real problems we can all work to solve, such as not feeling safe at home, being exposed to family conflict or being bullied.

"It is so important that we all, from governments to professionals to parents, talk, listen and take seriously what children and teenagers are telling us."

Psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos said of the report: "Interestingly, this report suggests that, when it comes to well-being, 14 and 15 year olds fare worse. It is so important that we don't simply dismiss this dip as an inevitable part of growing up, that it is just teenagers being teenagers. We really must talk to this generation and listen to what they have to say."

Lucie Russell, director of campaigns and policy at well-being and mental health charity YoungMinds, said: "These findings must not be dismissed as simply an inevitable part of growing up.

"Last year our parents' helpline received a record number of calls from parents concerned about the mental health or well-being of their child. We must take notice of these warning signs and act if we are not to see children increasingly struggling to cope."

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Children becoming increasingly unhappy, report warns

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It warned that although many young people did not meet the criteria for mental health problems, they were nevertheless "substantially unhappy" with their lives. Those teenagers were more likely to have low academic motivation, poor quality relationships with their family and feel as though they have a lot less money than their friends.

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I wonder why it is difficult for parents to communicate more often with their child(ren).

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I once read that the teenage years can be likened to the toddler years. Both stages of life are a time of significant developmental change. Toddlers and teens alike experience significant body and mind development that can have them behaving in ways you have never seen. Just as they are figuring out who they are, we, as parents, struggle to understand the child we once thought we knew inside out.

But the thing is, that is what they need from us most of all; to understand. The way we interact with our young children, the words we use, the intonation in our voice and even our body language can have a huge impact on whether they will feel comfortable talking to us about the big issues they will inevitably face as teens. If we are not empathetic and understanding of the 'little things' they face in their early years (which are actually big things to them) then chances are they will have a hard time opening up about the big things when they grow older.

Imagine if your son came home from school after spending the day coping with peers calling him names and throwing his back pack on the toilet block roof. Imagine then if he were to say nothing to you about it but instead went straight to his room. Would you want to have the opportunity to talk to him about it? How about if your daughter was struggling with her peers pressuring her to take drugs, would you want to know? If your daughter fell pregnant and was frightened about the huge choices she would soon be making, would you want her to be able to come to you for help? If she chose to abort the child, I know you'd want to know about that!

Responding to these questions is confronting and uncomfortable.

We would all like to pray and hope that our children will never find themselves in these situations but we would be naive to think that our children are completely immune from the perils of adolescence.

I've been a secondary school teacher for more than a decade now. I have taught in schools on both sides of the world and at both ends of the economic spectrum. In my time as a health and physical education teacher I have been privileged to teach, mentor and guide students through their teen years in many differing ways and in a number of roles.

Of course, teaching these students was my primary role and I really enjoyed that aspect of my job, but what if I told you that each of the students in the scenarios above chose not to talk to their parents? What if I told you that in each of the cases, the only person they felt they could talk to was me - their teacher?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not complaining about the fact that I can be a confidante for these students during some pretty harrowing years, in fact, I feel touched and grateful that they were able to find the confidence to open up at all. But, now that I am a parent and have had a chance to reflect upon these scenarios with a different perspective, I realise that the trials of the teenage years are life-shaping to many. I know that if these were my children in the future, I would want them to feel they could come to me when times got tough.

I have since lost count of the number of students that, burdened with what must have felt like the weight of the world, broke down during a conversation after class and confided in me. From friendship issues to relationship concerns, pregnancy scares and drug experiences, these students spoke of their fears, their regrets and their inability to find their way past it.

There were, of course, times where I was legally obliged to report their stories to my superiors and from there the children had access to the professional support they needed. But many times these children simply needed a shoulder cry on; someone to hear them and to understand.

So, why don't teenagers talk to their parents?

In every case, I queried, "Is there someone you can talk to about this at home?" and almost always the answer was a resounding, "No!" With rationales like, "They just wouldn't understand" or "They would be so disappointed in me!" coming flooding out with the tears that fell uncontrollably, it often seemed that this realisation itself was to them sometimes more painful than the life event they were dealing with.

So where did their relationship break down? When did it get to the point that these children no longer felt comfortable talking to their parents about their deepest fears, their hurts and their pain? When did their problems get so big that they felt the only person they could trust to talk to about them was their school teacher?

Well, I can tell you honestly that in most cases it was not because these parents were uncaring, unloving or bad parents. In most cases it was quite the opposite. These were in fact, strong, capable, got-it-together parents who would do anything for their children and raised them to have good morals and high values. They were adoring and hard-working and would consider themselves great role-models for their children.

I can also say categorically that these children were not 'broken' or disconnected children. Many of them were high achievers, diligent, popular and outwardly happy. They cared about their life and had goals and aspirations. They also had a lot of love for their parents.

The problem it seemed, stemmed from their childhood, where somewhere along the way they had come to the conclusion that their parent's love and approval was conditional of good behaviour and achievement.

You see, in a well-intended, concerted effort to ensure their children are raised to be upstanding members of society, many parents use punitive, disconnecting discipline techniques. Methods such as time-outs, removal of privileges, shaming and spanking are among the most common of these methods. They, coupled with achievement-based rewards and praise, unwittingly send the message that with achievement comes love and with misbehaviour comes reprehension. This can effectively close the doors for a trusting, honest and communicative relationship between parent and child in the future.

My time spent with thousands of teenagers over the past decade has had a significant impact on the parenting pathway I have taken. My children are still some way off hitting their teen years, but I am confident that the way I parent them now will have a significant bearing on how comfortable they will feel communicating to me during those vulnerable teenage years.

As my children grow I want them to know that no matter what happens; no matter what trouble they find themselves in, they can always come to me. I want them to know that I will support them, guide them and love them no matter what.

I know that if you have read this far, this is probably something you would want for your children also.

So, what do we need to do to foster an open relationship with our children?

To create that open, trusting relationship we need to be mindful of the way we parent them now. It is now that we are laying the foundations for our relationship in the years to come.

We need to admire and respect them for who they are - warts and all! With unconditional love, support and understanding, no matter how testing the behaviour, we must send our children the clear message that not only will we always accept them for who they are, we will always support and help them with kindness and understanding when they are having a hard time. They need to know that they can always be confident and proud of who they are no matter the short-comings they may be attributed and we can relay this to them in our interactions with them.

How can we demonstrate acceptance and understanding on a daily basis?

1. Choose Discipline Over Punishment

It is vital to grow connection with our children by using discipline rather than punish ment. Teaching through guidance rather than by fear encourages children to remain open about their mistakes rather than hiding them away.

Janet Lansbury, a parenting teacher and RIE (respectful parenting) associate taught me that when our children are having a hard time and displaying testing toddler behaviours, this is our opportunity to show them we are open for them to communicate to us their pain. We can show them understanding by reaching out to them during these times and acknowledging their frustrations. We can say things like, "It seems you are having a hard time playing with your sister, I will sit here with you so I can help you." And then do it. Keep them both safe and show compassion and understanding to both siblings as they both have their own demons to deal with.

If we punish them by taking away their favourite toy or sending them to their room, or showing them the same aggression they might be displaying towards their sibling, not only do we send them the message that we don't want to try to understand them but we also close the door on an opportunity to communicate and connect.

Why Timeouts Fail and What to do Instead

2. Acknowledge Physical and Emotional Hurt

When they fall and bump their knee and begin to whine or cry, we can let them know we empathise with their pain. It may just be a small scrape but we mustn't try to stop their tears by telling them they are alright if they are clearly upset. By finding something to distract them with or dismissing their pain rather than acknowledging their discomfort and offering them some TLC, we are telling them, we don't want to hear about their hurts. We only want them to be happy.

Similarly, when a child is feeling emotional about a particular circumstance that may seem trivial to us as adults, acknowledge and validate their feelings. It IS a big deal to them so it is important we show them that we understand and empathise. Parenting is easy when our children are happy, it is when they are sad, angry or frustrated that we can truly let them know we understand and accept ALL sides of them and that our love is unconditional.

So, how do we avoid creating an approval-based relationship?

Whilst keeping lines of communication wide open from birth is vital in fostering a trusting relationship with children, a relationship based upon the need for approval can also cause a teen to withdraw and withhold from us for fear of retribution.

As children grow and develop it can be tempting to push them beyond their capabilities in an effort to help them achieve milestones and learn new skills. When a child begins to pull themselves up on couches, for example, it might prompt us to take their hand and show them they can walk across the room. This achievement is celebrated by enthusiastic parents who might clap their hands and coo "Good boy!" to their child.

The message this sends the child is that just pulling themselves up on the couch is not good enough. It plants a seed of self-doubt as they question the worthiness of their actual capabilities. They get drawn towards the prospect of more attention and praise if only they could just take those extra few steps.

Accepting that a child's skills, abilities, behaviours, emotions etc on any given day are perfect for that child at that time takes a significant change in ideals and perceptions but what it does do is create an environment for our children to become contentedly and innately driven to learn, achieve, grow and develop along a natural pathway. A child who feels their worth is measured by results, achievements and good behaviour will soon need to see, hear and feel parental approval to gain confidence and continue moving forward.

Rebuilding a Child's Confidence

I have seen first-hand the impact on teenagers who have had these subtle messages unwittingly reinforced to them by their well-meaning parents over the course of their childhood. These children become fearful of disappointing their parents and worried that confiding in them will be met with judgement and disapproval.

During the adolescent years, teen's bodies are undergoing huge changes fuelled by hormones. At the same time they experience a developmental need to assert independence and additionally, possess underdeveloped brain matter which encourages them towards more risk-taking activities. In short, a significant number of teenagers will experiment, test and become more emotional during adolescence, leaving them vulnerable to the sorts of situations I mentioned earlier in the article.

Therefore, (just as in their toddlerhood) teens need love and understanding more than ever, If they don't feel confident they can get this as home, many will seek out a trusted source such as their teacher to unload their burdens.

Whilst having our children open up to an alternative confidante would not be the end of the world, wouldn't we rather they felt they could come to us should they be concerned, worried or looking for guidance? I know I would want to be there to help my daughters should they need it.

I feel strongly that over the next decade, as our children navigate through their childhood, finding their feet and developing a stronger understanding of who they are, what they stand for, their strengths and their limitations, our role as their parents must be to walk alongside them, showing them unconditional love and understanding. This, I believe, will give them the confidence they need to be able to confide in us if, or when, their lives get tough.

When they hurt, we will empathise. When they scream, we will listen. When they make mistakes, we will support them. When they reject us, we will understand and love them. When they fall down, we will let them know they are still loved as they pick themselves back up again and move on. This must be our pledge to our children.
I still occasionally see the student of mine who aborted her child. She was legally able to make this decision for herself and went through with it with no family support. She went on to have a beautiful family a little later with her partner and is a terrific mother. She says her Mum and Dad still have no idea about her first pregnancy and she doubts she will ever tell them.
My parenting is inspired by Magda Gerber's RIE approach which I learned of through Janet Lansbury's work. If you are interested in learning more you can find some good information here or I highly recommend these books (affiliate links)

Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect (2nd Edition) ~ Magda Gerber

Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities - From the Very Start
~ Magda Gerber

Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting ~ Janet Lansbury

No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame ~ Janet Lansbury

More recommended reading:

Taking the Brunt of a Child's Anger and Still Finding Connection ~ Kate Russell (Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids)

Creating Bonds: Accepting a Child's Emotions ~ Kate Russell (Peaceful Parents, Confident Kids)

Talking to Toddlers: 4 Secrets That Bring you Closer ~ Janet Lansbury (Janet Lansbury-Elevating Childcare)

Foolproof Strategies for Getting Kids to Talk ~ Laura Markham (Aha Parenting)

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk ~ Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (Affiliate Link)

Photo Credit: Copyright: Ed Yourdon (Flickr) (Image adjusted - lighting and text added)

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Why Teenagers Don't Talk to Their Parents and What you can do About it Now With Your Toddler

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I once read that the teenage years can be likened to the toddler years. Both stages of life are a time of significant developmental change. Toddlers and teens alike experience significant body and mind development that can have them behaving in ways you have never seen.

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I wonder why teenager get depressed while approaching adulthood

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We live in a picture-perfect place; why are so many of our young people depressed?

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Christina B. recalls a happy childhood in Cortlandt Manor-until her parents divorced when she was 12. "That's when everything started to unravel," she says. In high school, Christina juggled a sterling list of activities-dance, volleyball, community-service club-while maintaining a straight-A average. Secretly, she had begun drinking and threw herself into "tumultuous" relationships.

"Everything looked good on the outside but didn't really feel right on the inside," says Christina, now 23. Her downward spiral accelerated when her boyfriend refused to take her to prom. "He was sick of my highs and lows."

Christina says she didn't spend one night sober for the whole summer, and when she arrived at Manhattan College as a freshman, the "fog" around her had only thickened.

"I'd come home weekends and just cry in my bed," she says. "It was crippling. I wouldn't use the bathroom for 36 hours. When I had to get up, I remember agonizing over what to do first: Pull off the covers? Take off my socks? I'd forgotten how to take a shower or wash my hair; I was so far gone."

Still, it was only after a failed jump from the Bear Mountain Bridge-"My mother had called the cops, who came to the bridge and got me down," Christina recalls- that she was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder, finally receiving the help she needed. Sadly, her experience isn't unique-especially here.

"Westchester is an incredible place to live and raise kids; it's also incredibly competitive," says Angela Giuffra, LCSWR, a Scarsdale psychotherapist. "The school system has high expectations-for better and for worse."

Depression in teens is "especially acute" in Westchester, she says, because teens are still developing the skills to contend with the rich stimulation surrounding them.

"The outside world is saying, 'Go, go, go!' and there's no time for the nervous system to download it all," Giuffra says.

Recent statistics show that 9.2 percent of US teens-roughly 1 out of 10, or 2.2 million adolescents-suffer from depression, making it the leading cause of disability and illness among teens. Adolescent suicide is the second leading cause of death, following accidents, with 5,000 deaths out of 500,000 attempts annually. Dr. Marc Weiler, a child and adolescent psychologist in Cross River, believes that Westchester's rate of teen depression aligns with national figures. The peak age is 15 and 16; girls are three times as likely as boys to be afflicted.

"True depression is like having a hundred-pound weight on your shoulder," Mary Borowka, licensed social worker

"Is depression a problem in Westchester? Yes; one in 10 teens is pretty high," says Dr. Weiler. "I believe the stressors are the same across the communities for adolescents: belonging and acceptance, major changes in the body and in cognition. There are high standards-how beautiful, bright, or successful you are-which make it very difficult to be accepted. In other communities, the standards may be different, but the stressor of acceptance is the same."

And the pressures begin to bear down early. "I see kids as young as seventh grade sitting in my office and stressing about their futures," says Mary Borowka, a licensed social worker in Chappaqua. "If they don't get into advanced math, they won't be on the honors track, they won't get into AP math, and they won't get into the colleges of their choice. That doesn't leave a lot of time to be a kid and continue to grow, neurologically and emotionally."

Well-intentioned parents who want to smooth the bumps of adolescence may actually aggravate the problem.

"We want to teach our children to strive and be their best; some of that takes maturity. When you overlay that expectation onto your children, it's an external force that feels like pressure," Borowka says. "Parents jumping in with homework or talking to their kids' coach-it robs kids of building their own internal sense of resiliency and arsenal of coping skills."

"There will always be purely biological reasons for depression," she adds. "These are environmental contributors."

With medication and therapy, teens with depression have a good prognosis. Obstructing that road to recovery, says Dr. Weiler, is the "acceptance" in Westchester of self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, and the tendency of adolescents "to think not in terms of illness but in terms of right and wrong, punished and not being punished. The teen mindset is: 'If I have a pimple on my nose, I'm a pimple.' They don't want to have people think, What are you, crazy? "

How do parents spot depression in a teen who, like Christina, is outwardly composed and even thriving? Look for significant behavioral changes, says Dr. Weiler: eating differently, sleeping differently, physical isolation.

"Typical adolescent irritation comes and goes; I think of it as a window that opens and shuts," Borowka says. "But when that window is shuttered and the mood doesn't vary, that is cause for concern."

Irritation, moodiness, and snark around the house-what Borowka calls "the gift that's often saved for parents"-shouldn't raise a flag.

"True depression is like having a hundred-pound weight on your shoulder," she says, "and it's too hard to function. So the teen might start to disengage in school, jobs, activities. You have to go with your parental gut, and the best thing you can do is initiate conversation: 'I'm concerned; you don't seem yourself. Are you okay?' They might not walk through that door, but just by opening it, you're sending the right message."

Kathleen Pimm (not her real name), of White Plains, recalls standing by helplessly as her son suffered from depression and anxiety, but his school balked at providing resources "because his grades were too good." She finally decided to send him to a wilderness program with intensive therapy, to build resilience and (literal) survivor skills.

"Certain friends of mine thought I was really harsh- how could I do that? -but I wasn't willing to watch my son go to the point of no return. He was taught to talk about his feelings, instead of suppressing them, and now he's able to deal with conflict in a way that's more mature than even I can."

Even in today's climate of "oversharing"-candidly discussing physical struggles such as cancer or concussions-mental illness remains engulfed in stigma.

"Among parents, Westchester is the 'land of the fabulous,'" says a Westchester social worker who asked that her name not be used. "How are the kids? Fabulous! Travel league? College prospects? Fabulous! But that answer masks the underlying problems-and how common they really are."

To make matters worse, says Giuffra, "it's that out-of-balance perfectionism that leads to depression and self-destruction."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness in Westchester (NAMI Westchester) recently had to create an entire second support group for parents of depressed teens, due to overflow. It also maintains a program called Ending the Silence, inviting those who struggled with depression as a teenager to talk at Westchester middle schools and high schools.

Among the speakers is Christina, who's currently studying to become a social worker. With daily medication and weekly therapy, she is no longer weighed down.

"I thought I was the only one," says Christina. "But if I'd had someone tell me then how I wasn't alone, it would have made all the difference. Once I got diagnosed, I realized that I'm not a lunatic. I can fix it-there's a light at the end of the tunnel. My goal is to tell high school students: 'I'm a survivor. I've pulled through to the other side. And you can, too.'"
Melissa F. Pheterson is a frequent contributor to Westchester Magazine.

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Fotolia Christina B. recalls a happy childhood in Cortlandt Manor-until her parents divorced when she was 12. "That's when everything started to unravel," she says. In high school, Christina juggled a sterling list of activities-dance, volleyball, community-service club-while maintaining a straight-A average. Secretly, she had begun drinking and threw herself into "tumultuous" relationships.

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I wonder what teens go through when they begin to realie they are maturing

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What to Expect

So, your teen has entered high school, and soon, he or she will be off to college or entering the workforce. While you've been helping your child to prepare for adult independence and responsibility all along, it's important to realize that your teen's plans for him- or herself may be different from what you want.

Listen to your teen's thoughts about the future. Support and respect his or her decisions, and offer ideas about what you think he or she might be good at. Encourage your teen to get involved in the community, and help him connect with other caring adults who can positively influence his or her development.

Intellectual Development

Abstract thinking becomes more common with older teenagers. They'll gravitate more to the "gray" areas between the "black-and-white" issues of their early years. They'll also change their mind about the "grays" to suit their goals and wishes.

Older teenagers, such as those in this age range, expand their logic and reasoning abilities, although many still struggle to match their thinking abilities with their actions. Thus, a lot of kids will talk intelligently but then have trouble with planning.

Their thinking now considers the future. They can think and have thoughtful discussions about war, college, the economy, and their visions of what would make the world better.

Because older teenagers are more intellectually advanced than a child or younger teens, adults can have more back-and-forth conversations with them. They're better able to understand other people's points of views, and they're more open to other perspectives and ideas.

Many older teenagers will use their new intellectual capacities as "logical weapons" against their parents. This has more to do with them separating from you. They'll punch holes in your logic, and they'll challenge you with thought-out reason.

Emotional Development

Help your teen learn how to recognize and deal with stress, anger, and sadness; to exercise regularly and eat healthy food; and to express feelings honestly as well as respect others' feelings in friendships and romantic relationships. Your teen will continue to benefit from continuing to do his part around home and at school, and in taking care of his own well-being.

Emotionally, teenagers don't typically like physical affection from their parents. Many do, however, like a lot of physical affection from their friends.

Expect a lot of tension and conflict with your teenager, because your teenager is separating from you. The path to independence is rocky for both parents and older teenagers.

Some older teenagers will go anywhere-except where their parents are. Be patient with this. Typically kids will draw closer to parents once they leave home. Once they've experienced "true independence," they discover that their parents aren't as idiotic as they thought when they were older teenagers.

Monitor your teenager's emotional states. Most have an emotional state that they're most comfortable with. Some are easygoing. Some get angry easily. Others get depressed. Intervene if emotions are overwhelming your older teenager.

Some teenagers will give you the silent treatment when they become angry-or if they don't get their way. Give them time to simmer down. They'll talk to you again (usually when they need something from you).

Some kids begin dabbling in more serious risk behaviors (such as self-harm, drinking alcohol, trying drugs, and having sex). Help kids steer clear of these behaviors. Talk with them about what they're experiencing-and what they're seeing going on with their peers. Some are struggling with difficult issues.

Physical Development

Older teenagers typically look physically older than they are. Fifteen-year-olds can be mistaken for 21-year-olds, which is why some teenagers find themselves in troubling situations.

Since all kids go through five stages of puberty, you'll continue to see older teenagers mature. Even during the high school years, you'll notice teenagers maturing at different rates. This is normal, even if teenagers don't feel like it is.

Most teenagers have trouble waking up in the morning. Part of this is because they stay up later. But part of it is biological. Older teenagers tend to shortchange sleep, which can hinder their development. Don't be afraid to let them sleep until noon-or even until the middle of the afternoon-on weekends.

Social Development

At this age, friendships and romance become more important while cliques become less so.

Older teenagers are less influenced by peer pressure. They're more likely to seek out experts when they want to know or do something.

Teenagers are heavily influenced by their friends when it comes to clothing, styles, music, and fads.

Your child is more likely to seek out advice and help from a friend than from you.

A lot of teenagers pair off into couples. Dating becomes more pervasive, and some teens develop intense romantic relationships.

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So, your teen has entered high school, and soon, he or she will be off to college or entering the workforce. While you've been helping your child to prepare for adult independence and responsibility all along, it's important to realize that your teen's plans for him- or herself may be different from what you want.

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I wonder why teens feel like their parents don't know what they are going through.