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Helping students and parents with the move from primary school to secondary school How To Use Each resource page has a number of topics for parents and students to browse through. Some topics have additional information such as advice, videos or extra research – just click the link when you see it. Some of these […]

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Supporting transition from home back to school

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Members of the National Council for Special Education

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Resources to Support Children, families and young people

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Here you will find information about services for children, young people and families, including those with additional needs. You will also be able to see the changes we have made so that we can continue to support you in this time.

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Here you will find information about services for children, young people and families, including those with additional needs. You will also be able to see the changes we have made so that we can continue to support you in this time.

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Guidance for parents of children transitioning from pre-school to primary school

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Guidance for parents of children transitioning from pre-school to primary school

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Scoil Chróine Back to school Pg 1

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Reluctant Attenders

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Scoil Chróine Back to school Pg 2

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Covid-19 Response Plan

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Information and Videos for parents and families

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See up to date information on what to do if your child has symptoms of COVID-19, how to get urgent medical help if your child is unwell and how to protect your child from COVID-19 using the link below.

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Information for students, parents and families

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See up to date information on what to do if your child has symptoms of COVID-19, how to get urgent medical help if your child is unwell and how to protect your child from COVID-19 using the link below.

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Back to school advice  for Parents

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Updated 31/1/22

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First 5 is a whole-of-Government strategy to improve the lives of babies, young children and their families. It is a ten-year plan to help make sure all children have positive early experiences and get a great start in life.

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First 5 | A Government Strategy For Babies & Young Children

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First 5 is a whole-of-Government strategy to improve the lives of babies, young children and their families. It is a ten-year plan to help make sure all children have positive early experiences and get a great start in life.

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Transtions from preschool to primary school by Department of Education and Skills

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A child's transition from preschool to primary school is a big step and may even a little bit scary for some of them. If you are a parent/guardian of a child about to make this move, and are wondering how best to prepare them, you are not alone.

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Activities to develop communication skills at home

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Activities to develop communication skills at home

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Transition from pre school to primary school for children with Down's Syndrome

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Transition from pre school to primary school for children with Down's Syndrome

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Picture books and related activities to aid transition into 'big school'

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Lovely ideas for working on gross motor skills at home for all ages

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Hints & Tips for primary parents - Healthy Eating

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Hopefully your child will have developed healthy eating habits during their time in primary school.

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Supporting your child's emotional development is an important part of being a parent.

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Wellbeing for children

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Resources to help parents and children get ready as early learning and childcare services and schools reopen.

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Guide to school reports

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Play with everyday objects

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Helping your young child to read and write

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The importance of play

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Ambitions for Transitions . From early years to primary school

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Starting school

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Starting primary school can be daunting for you and your child, but it marks the start of an exciting new chapter. Before you know it, your child will be making friends, learning new skills and becoming increasingly independent. But how can you help them prepare for this big first step? Here are our five top tips.

The most useful thing you can do to get your child ready for school is to make sure they are comfortable doing simple tasks by themselves. This includes:

Going to the toilet. Resist the temptation to pop your child onto the loo and wipe their bottom. It is better to get your child into the habit of doing this for themselves.

Getting dressed. Avoid clothing with fiddly buckles and buttons. It is also a good idea to have a few dry runs with the PE Kit!

Putting on shoes. Tie-up shoes might be a bit difficult. Go for shoes with Velcro fasteners if possible.

Eating. This includes using a knife and fork, opening their lunchbox and being able to open everything in the lunchbox - some yoghurt tubes and drink cartons can be tricky.

Solving simple problems. Encourage your child to resolve problems by talking when they don't understand or something isn't going well. It is important that they also learn when to ask an adult for help.

Learning in a classroom is a social activity. Children learn and develop by playing alongside their peers, and they will make better progress if they are happy mixing with other children and adults. You can encourage this by:

Organising play dates. Play dates with children from your child's new class help improve their social skills and makes the leap to primary school less scary - they will like knowing one or two of their classmates before school begins.

Practising greetings. Your child should know how to start a conversation with their new classmates. You can use dolls and soft toys to practise saying "hello"!

Practising conversations. Giving your child time to talk - and also time when they have to listen - teaches vital speaking and listening skills. You could take turns to talk about the best part of your day over the dinner table. Can they ask questions to find out more? Can they remember what their sibling's favourite part of the day was?

Encouraging sharing and tolerance. Sharing games such as Snakes and Ladders let children practise social skills and turn-taking. Be sure to use the language of turn-taking, like 'Whose turn is it next?' and 'Thank you for waiting'.

Your child is not expected to have amazing literacy or numeracy skills at this age - that's what school is for! However, there are some ways you can get your child ready for learning:

Help them recognise their name. It's handy if your child can find their space in the cloakroom, and can keep track of labelled clothes and other belongings.

Share stories. Reading to your child improves their vocabulary and listening skills, and acting out stories is a great way to practise communication. Seeing you enjoy stories also primes your child to be an enthusiastic reader. You can find storytelling videos on the Oxford Owl YouTube channel and free eBooks in the Oxford Owl eBook library.

Hone fine motor skills. Developing hand strength, fine motor skills and hand-eye co-ordination all helps prepare your child for writing. Making Lego models, using scissors, and threading beads or pasta onto string are fun ways to develop hand strength. Drawing and colouring activities are good for introducing children to mark-making tools.

Introduce them to numbers. Why not go on a number hunt around your local area and take pictures of any numbers you find? You could also share counting songs together or count objects as you set the table for dinner. Can your child get five forks or three cups out? Can they share them between members of the family?

Your child being able to concentrate in 10-15 minute bursts will really help their teacher. Here are some ways to practise:

Enjoy extended play together. Building kits like Lego are great for encouraging your child's resilience, especially if they can finish the activity in one sitting. Race-the-clock games are good for improving concentration (and are helpful when you need to be somewhere on time and need your child to get their socks and shoes on quickly!).

Follow instructions. Giving your child simple instructions to follow helps build their concentration. Why not have a go at some of these child-friendly recipes?

Talking about the exciting things your child is going to do at school helps them get over any nerves. You could:

Visit the school. Some schools have induction visits for children to meet their new teacher and spend time in the classroom. If they don't, do ask to have a tour with your child. Walking or driving past the school at the end of the school day and watching children come out in uniform can also be very exciting!

Talk about how fun school is! If you've been on a settling-in morning, there might be something your child particularly enjoyed playing with (the dinosaurs, the paints, the climbing frame). Older siblings could be enlisted to share all the things they enjoy about school - as long as they're thoroughly briefed not to share things they're not so keen on! Giving your child time to talk also lets them raise any concerns or questions.

Practise the school routine. It can be helpful to do a practice journey before the big day, looking for interesting things on the way. It might be a good idea to make sure your child has school-friendly bedtimes and getting-up times a few days in advance.

For more ideas on starting primary school, download our free Guide to Starting School:

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Getting ready for primary school | Oxford Owl

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Starting primary school can be daunting for you and your child, but it marks the start of an exciting new chapter. Before you know it, your child will be making friends, learning new skills and becoming increasingly independent. But how can you help them prepare for this big first step?

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Hints and tips for starting school

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Lunchbox planner

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Lunchbox ideas/Bosch Lóin

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Sometimes a simple change like going to bed earlier so that you can get up earlier can make all the difference, ensuring you are not in a rush and have plenty of time.

Carefully plan your morning routine with your child. A picture chart showing the sequence of tasks (washing, dressing, breakfast etc.) can be really helpful. Make sure to place a task your child enjoys (such as breakfast) after an unpleasant one (such as dressing).

Give your child lots of attention and praise as they dress and anytime they cooperate even a little (e.g. "Well done for putting your sock on, that is a great help!")

Try to make the dressing routine fun for both of you. Maybe make up a game such as a race to 'dress the fastest' or 'follow the leader'. Sometimes playing music or singing a 'dressing song' can help a child cooperate.

Be clear on the rules that will help your child. For example, no breakfast until he/she is dressed, and/or he/she must stay in his room until dressed.

Consider giving your child a reward if they get dressed by a certain time. This could be a sticker on a chart, ten minutes play or even ten minutes TV time. This could be on the chart as the last item - that way, your child is encouraged to stick to the morning routine chart so that they can get their reward.

Think through a sanction that you would be prepared to enforce if your child does not get dressed in time. For example, if they are not finished by a certain time, then he has to finishing dressing or have breakfast in the car. Perhaps they get reduced play or TV time later on that day.

Praise good efforts! In the evening time, if your child has stuck to the routine well that morning, remind them of how good they were and how happy you are with them. Perhaps you could give them a special cuddle or an extra bedtime story as a reward for being so good that morning.

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Getting Your Child to Dress Themselves Quickly

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Sometimes a simple change like going to bed earlier so that you can get up earlier can make all the difference, ensuring you are not in a rush and have plenty of time. Carefully plan your morning routine with your child. A picture chart showing the sequence of tasks (washing, dressing, breakfast etc.)

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Most of us remember our first day at school, so here are a few tips to ensure it goes smoothly for you and your child.

Visit School in advanc e

Many schools have an Open Day where children can visit the school before September. They meet the teacher and new classmates. Your child may have already done this and if not be sure to visit the School in advance of the 'big day'. If you know someone else starting, arrange to meet parent and child in the park before September. Then your child arrives at the school yard to a familiar face and perhaps someone to sit with. When I did this with my last child, she ran in with her friend and I was told to leave!

The First Days of School

However, I did not handle my eldest child's first Montessori day as well. Her anxiety and my nervousness made it more difficult. Looking back I can see that the teacher was experienced and needed an opportunity to settle her without my presence. The longer we delay the more the anxious the child can become. Most children settle quickly. Learn from my mistake and know when to leave, timing is crucial! Children can pick up your anxieties. Teachers say it's often the parent's anxiety that makes things worse!

Let your child know you are confident that they can manage. 'Ann, I know you will be fine and I can't wait to hear all about it later'. Be calm and reassuring for the child to feel secure enough to separate from you. Then go as dawdling will only make matters worse.

Preparation for the First Day

Anxiety can come from not knowing what to expect; therefore talk about what your child can expect when starting school. Be relaxed, reassuring and positive with them. Encourage independence around dressing and toileting; practice opening their school bag and lunch box all help these early days. If this is left to a day or two before school starts, it is too late. A child's fears will arise from not knowing, therefore chat through the new things that will happen and reassure them that everything will be all right.

First Days of School Tips:

If your child cries when you leave them, do not panic. The teacher will advise you what to do and is very experienced. Never ever disappear; always tell your child you are going and that you will be back. It is hard to leave but go and ask to be informed when your child has settled. You will be surprised how quickly they recover with the distraction of other children. Usually tears last between five to ten minutes for the first day or two. Certainly within a week you should find your child has settled. A final word: be early at pick up time as it is very stressful for a child not to see the parent immediately. Tell your child you are taking them for a juice after collection so they have something special to look forward to. Lots of reassurance and love helps in the early days.

Your child's First Day of School

If it is your first child starting school, you may be kept busy with smaller children, but when your last child starts school it can be emotional for a parent. Think in advance about this, are you going to increase your work hours, or indeed return to work? Perhaps, you have an opportunity to take up a hobby or interest. Join a club, or a class that interests you. Joining a School Committee offers support and valuable contacts in the years ahead.

In Advance of First day Tips:

Talk through the new routine in advance

Visit the school in advance

Pull back bedtimes/getting up earlier a week before

Make it easy for your child: Velcro runners, no tights, elasticised waists

Label everything

Get your child into uniform before the big day

Easy to open lunchbox & shoulder strap bag

Order subsidised milk through school; it's healthy & no bag spills

Keep drinks in a plastic bag in the outside pouch.

On the Day:

Bed early, up early, be organised with uniform/shoes ready

Box of raisins or 10 grapes for 'little break'

Small lunch for 'big break', with quartered sandwich

Leave lots of time to get to school

Relax and don't fuss in the classroom

The calmer you are, the calmer they will be

If they are happy, don't look for problems

If there are tears, be led by the teachers expertise

Remember, teacher will advise if child is not settling

Do not overstay on the first day; 3-5 minutes is enough

Allow extra time the first week as hurrying creates stress for all

Tell your child you are going and that you will be back

Meet a friend for coffee on the first day as it's emotional for you too!

Be early for pick up, or it is very stressful for a child

Bed early, up earlier, be organised = Calm mornings!

This article was written by Sheila O Malley. Sheila owns Practical Parenting and offers courses, 1 to 1 support and School Talks as well as Company talks on Parenting and wellbeing. See www.practicalparenting.ie for details. Book a One Day Saturday course from 10-4pm with a friend or partner and get the tips to need to support you in the hardest job you ever do!

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Your Child'sFirst Day at School - SchoolDays.ie

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Most of us remember our first day at school, so here are a few tips to ensure it goes smoothly for you and your child. Many schools have an Open Day where children can visit the school before September. They meet the teacher and new classmates.

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The teenage years are full of many transitions and changes and in the coming months many young people will be making one of the most important transitions of their young life ; that of moving from primary to secondary school. Traditionally, this important time, symbolised the transition from childhood to adulthood, as young people left behind the safety and security of primary school to embark on an adventure into the unfamiliar and unknown territory of secondary school.

In the transition to secondary school workshops which I run with 6th class students, the children will talk about experiencing a mix of emotions about starting secondary school. They say there are many things they are looking forward to, topping the list here is getting a locker, as well as having some concerns around starting a new school ( for some, the worry of not getting a locker!!).

Concerns your child may have:

The size of the school and getting lost; as well as now being the youngest in the school

The different subjects and the amount of homework they will have in each of them as well as the dreaded Friday homework

Understanding their timetable and the rules of the school

Studying and exams

In addition to these practical concerns, the children also worry about social issues such as friendships, social groupings and bullying, which I will talk about next week. As parents, how can you help make this transition as smooth as possible for your child?
In the coming weeks, reassurance that any concerns they have about rules, homework, journals and subjects will all be addressed by teachers in that first week. In many secondary schools, first year students return to school a day earlier to give them the opportunity to orientate themselves to their new environment. On that first week back, remember they will be tired and possibly a little moody as they get to grips with a longer day and a greater workload, so giving them a little space when they get home can be helpful.
Making sure they understand their timetable and helping them organise their books and other materials that they need, the night before can also be beneficial in these first few days, as well as helping them to draw up a homework timetable as this can help avoid the last minute panic of realising that they had homework due that they haven't even started yet.

Finally, it is important to remember that young people tend to settle quite quickly into secondary school, with the majority of students having settled in nicely by the end of the first week. For some it takes a little longer, however by the end of September, they will have found their feet. However the issues that most concern them and which they can often continue to struggle with in the early years of secondary school are the social ones. These include issues such as changes in their friendships, the social hierarchy and groupings that exist within the school and about being bullied.

Changing friends!

Although many young people will transfer with their friends from a primary to a secondary school in their catchment area, others move to schools outside their area and have to come to terms with a new social environment. For these students they often experience feelings of sadness and fear around the possibility of losing the friends they had in primary school. Acknowledging these feelings and talking to them about friendships can be helpful at this time.

Letting them know that there are still ways of staying in touch with old friends, especially in this digital age of social networking, as well as talking about secondary school as a new and exciting place with lots of new people to make friends with, can be reassuring.

Another common experience for many young people, in particular girls, is dealing with changing friendships. Many start secondary school and are relieved and delighted to learn that they are in the same classes as their BFF. They have been friends since junior infants and have shared so much with each other and now they begin the journey of secondary school together. However this excitement can often be short - lived and as the weeks go by, they notice that their friend is now spending a lot of time with other girls in the class, she is not calling her as much and she has developed a whole different style overnight. When she tries to talk to her friend, she is told that there is nothing wrong. This can be a very painful and confusing time for a young person as they feel betrayed, hurt and alone.

What you can do!

As a parent you can support your child by being there for them, giving them a hug as well as listening to and validating how they feel. Understanding their experience can help you help them come up with ways of dealing with this changing friendship. This first year is an important time for parents to check in with their children and the school about how they are doing. Never assume that because they say nothing about school, that everything is okay. Stay connected and involved.

Article provided by Clare Crowley Collier, Therapist, Educator & Facilitator for Teenagers and Parents
Visit their website at Family Matters.ie. Check out their course schedule here

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Easing the Transition from Primary to Secondary School for your Child - SchoolDays.ie

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The teenage years are full of many transitions and changes and in the coming months many young people will be making one of the most important transitions of their young life ; that of moving from primary to secondary school.

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Transition from Primary School to Secondary School

The transition from Primary school to Secondary school is one of those life events that most people can recall in some way or other. In the main, it's a fairly manageable period and one that parents often get more emotional about than their children. The purpose of this article is to outline the major issues involved so that the experience can be facilitated and undertaken with minimum stress - for the whole family!

By the time a child reaches their final years in primary school, they will be totally familiar with their school environment. They'll know their teacher very well, be comfortable with most if not all of the people in their class and will probably know most of the other faces in the school too. By sixth class, they are the most senior people in their school, they will be used to being given responsibility and they tend to be looked up to by the younger boys and girls in the school.

But within the space of two short months, September 1st sees these same students revert to being the most junior again in a brand new environment in a different location, with a different smell and atmosphere. Change can be a daunting task for any one of us but when you are 12 or 13 - with so many other 'complications' in your life - it is a change that takes quite a lot of adjusting to.

The important thing to constantly remind yourself is that children and teenagers are more resilient and adaptable than we are (or give them credit for). Remember too that within a few short weeks, their new surroundings become more familiar and they'll be running from the PE Hall to the Science Lab and on to the Art room without the slightest stumble. The first couple of weeks can be traumatic though and this section offers both parent and child a survival plan to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Constant routine becomes constant change

The biggest change when entering the secondary school system is probably the constant change in the day-to-day routine. In primary school, they had one teacher all day in the one classroom. In Secondary school however, that routine changes utterly. There is a subject change every forty minutes approximately, and with this subject change there is a change of teacher. It is not unusual for a student to encounter eight or nine different teachers during a typical school day. A tip to help your child cope with this is to advise them to write down the name of each new teacher beside the name of the subject.

Some subject changes will involve a change of classroom too and the second big change that the new 1st years have to cope with is the constant movement between classrooms throughout the day. Depending on their subject choices, students will be moving all around the school. Getting lost during the first few weeks will be inevitable for some. A good tip is to advise your child to always stay with at least one other person from the class...there is definitely safety and confidence in numbers!

All of this 'new-ness' is bound to have some effect on the student and in these early days of adjusting, parents should try to be supportive, understanding and encouraging, ensuring their child eats well and gets plenty of rest and 'down time'.

Number of Subjects

Another big adjustment is the number of specific subjects your child is covering. Depending on the school and the subject-choice structure, students in 1st year can cover anything up to 15 different subjects (some will only be by way of introduction, to help students to select the subjects they wish to take for the Junior Cert.). Many of these are new and unfamiliar. An example of a typical timetable is included here, to give you an idea of what a typical day might look like.

Sample first year timetable

C.S.P.E.: Civic, Social and Political Education
S.P.H.E.: Social, Personal and Health Education

As you can see from the diversity, it is therefore important at an early stage to help them to develop a methodical approach to learning. Discuss all the subjects at home. Getting your child to explain what they have learnt so far in a particular subject will have two beneficial effects. It will help you to better understand a subject. It also helps to get your child to summarise a subject and that exercise will help to highlight in their mind where they are at with it.

It is important to try to encourage a balance between all subjects. Everyone will have their own favourites and will excel at certain subjects. The problem is that neglecting a subject in the early stages - due to its perceived difficulty or maybe a personality clash with a teacher - may have an impact on subject choices in future years. Taking an early dislike to Science and dropping it after 1st year or the Junior Cert. might limit the career choices available come 6th year. Certain courses require at least one science subject for example so be careful in choosing to take or drop subjects. Take a look at the Career / Third Level section on page XX and be sure that you or your child (preferably both) talk to the career guidance counsellor / principal regarding subject selections.

The Schoolbag

Their timetable will take a lot of getting used to. Part of this new routine will involve the organisation of the schoolbag before each day. It's a new skill that some may struggle with and a little help in the early days will ensure they have the right books, and the right homework on the right day!

Homework

Homework time is obviously going to increase and with it comes several new adjustments to be dealt with from the Primary School homework routine. Not all subjects are covered every day and not all subjects involve homework. This may mean that your child has two hours homework on one night and maybe one hour the next night. One of the best skills you can help your child to learn is that of effective time management. Help your child to even out their homework pattern by encouraging them to develop a homework timetable.

Certain subjects get homework nightly (Maths), others on every other day, others still on a weekly basis (Irish essay). Help them to devise a method to spread out the workload over the 5 nights of the week. Don't under-estimate the importance of getting a structure and a sense of organisation at an early stage of their secondary school lives. Learning how to successfully manage their time is an invaluable life skill and will make the transition into their new environment a whole lot easier.

School Reports

A new experience that comes with secondary school is the regular reports that come home from the school. Aside from the exams reports, most schools have a regular report that must be signed by the parent. It will usually have a mark per subject and space for any comments by any of the teachers. It might include number of days absent or late and any general notes relating to your child's performance. Again, these should be monitored and taken seriously, particularly in first year.

It is important that your child sees you as an extension of the school system - if you're dismissive of feedback from the school, it allows a negative attitude to develop in your child which is not in anyone's interest. If you have an issue you would like to discuss with a teacher or the principal, it is best done without the involvement of your child in the initial instance anyway.

Extra-curricular activities:

Taking part in after-school activities is a great way of getting to know more students in the school. Whether it's in the drama circle, the computer club or on the playing field, each student should find activities which they enjoy. Taking part in such activities builds confidence, they get to mix with other students from other years and as a result, they settle into the school environment a lot quicker. Students should be encouraged, from both home and school, to try out new activities.

Even if they may have tried something before, or even if they don't know what the activity entails, students should be encouraged to try practically everything available through the school.

Support Network

As stated, most children take the transition from Primary School to Secondary school in their stride. Schools have generally recognised the potential difficulties and have a good support network in place for 1st years. Most schools operate the system of the 'year head' (a teacher who has specific responsibility for the entire year). Many schools also appoint class 'tutors', 'mentors' and 6th Year 'buddies' or 'prefects' who have the task of making the introduction to the school as pleasant and as painless as possible.

As parents, we can often feel a little helpless - our role is to be supportive, interested and encouraging. If you have any concerns about your child, the advice is to make contact with the school.

Take heart!

Finally, with all the ups and downs of the first few weeks, rest assured that by the time Sept 1st comes round again the following year, your child will enter the establishment as if they've been there forever. They will laugh at the new 1st years for getting lost, again, and will boss them around with all the authority that only a 2nd year student can assume.

Source: The Essential Parents' Guide to the Secondary School Years by Brian Gilsenan, published by Primary ABC,

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Making the Transition from Primary School to Secondary School - SchoolDays.ie

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Transition from Primary School to Secondary School The transition from Primary school to Secondary school is one of those life events that most people can recall in some way or other. In the main, it's a fairly manageable period and one that parents often get more emotional about than their children.

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As I Am. Moving to secondary school

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Ask your family to help you draft social stories™ and graphs up for whatever situation that's giving you the most bother. Autistic individuals like to prepare as much as they can for unfamiliar settings, so a social story explaining what to expect and how an event will play out can lift a lot of anxiety and make the experience far more positive.

These events can be as general as explaining what a typical day at secondary school looks like, to something more specific like how to use a new bus or train, or how to use the cafeteria during lunchtimes. Visual aids like these will help your teachers and SNA a great deal when explaining your needs to them and how they can help.

Another helpful tool is the use of a calendar. Mark the first day of school on a calendar or a planner you have at home to help organise your plan for getting ready. This works well when deciding what date is best to prepare yourself for trying on your new uniform or going out to buy school supplies like bags, pens, pencil cases and notebooks.

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Transitioning From Primary to Secondary School

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Ask your family to help you draft social stories™ and graphs up for whatever situation that's giving you the most bother. Autistic individuals like to prepare as much as they can for unfamiliar settings, so a social story explaining what to expect and how an event will play out can lift a lot of anxiety and make the experience far more positive.

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Establish a routine

Every family is different so do what suits your circumstances in establishing a workable pattern around breakfast and getting out to school on time; when and where homework is done; the evening meal; downtime, screen-free time and bedtime. This applies to the weekend too when they will have homework, unlike in most primary schools.

Help them organise themselves

Being in the right place, at the right time, with the right books or gear, can be quite a challenge during the first few weeks. Supervise the packing of the school bag the night before, with a copy of their timetable at hand.

Take an interest in homework

While developing independent study habits is the aim, every child will be different in the level of support and persuasion they need to get their homework done. It's advisable, at the start anyway, to check their homework journal each night and make sure they know what work they need to have done by when. Even if getting stuck into their text books is not your style, conversations about what they're learning helps to keep you in touch and reinforces it for them.

Be there to listen

Keep the channels of communication open but avoid grilling them on every aspect of their first few days - no matter how keen you are to know how they got on. They may be too exhausted to talk, so don't take crankiness as a sign that things aren't going well.

"Let your children know you are there for them," advises the president of the Institute of Guidance Counsellors, Betty McLaughlin. "If you listen to them and respect their decisions, they will be more open to accepting your advice."

Stock up on food

They need a nutritious breakfast and more food than they may think for both break times to sustain them through what is a much longer and more demanding school day.

Build a relationship with the school

Take every opportunity to attend information evenings, parent-teacher meetings, social events and get involved with the parents' association. "A lot of change that happens in schools actually comes through the parents' associations," says Paul Byrne,

president of the National Association of Principals and Deputy Principals.

Redraw parental boundaries

This is another big step on a child's journey from parental dependence to independence, so it's time to make sure you are letting go a bit more. Accept that the influence of peers is going to become much more dominant and that your position as parents on anything from screen time and haircuts to discos and city-centre excursions will be challenged. Let them make their case and then explain the reasons for your "yes" or your "no"

- and remember that a playing-for-time "maybe" will be taken as a "yes".

Get to know their friends

Making clear their friends are welcome in your house is a great way to get to know who your child is hanging around with and to glean a little information about what's going on. However, as a parent-free gaff will be the venue of choice for after-school gatherings, lay down some ground rules if you are both out working all day.

Allow downtime

While you may want your child to take every opportunity that extra-curricular activities offer, do make sure they are not doing too much. They still need unstructured time to do what they want.

Keep it in perspective

Sometimes parents think school is everything and nothing matters more than high grades, says John Stevenson, author of

Moving Up! From Primary to Post-Primary, a Parents' Roadmap. But learning is life-long now, he points out, and a child's health - mental and physical - must always come first.

There is an "artificiality" about school, he adds, and the children who shine in this environment are not always the ones who turn out to be outstanding people - you only have to look at the book Could do Better: School Reports of the Great and the Good, edited by Catherine Hurley, to confirm that.

Of Winston Churchill, it was said: "He is so regular in his irregularity that I really don't know what to do"; of John Lennon: "Certainly on the road to failure . . . hopeless . . . rather a clown in class . . . wasting other pupils' time" and of Gary Lineker: "He must devote less of his time to sport if he wants to be a success."

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10 tips for parents of children starting secondary school

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Establish a routine Every family is different so do what suits your circumstances in establishing a workable pattern around breakfast and getting out to school on time; when and where homework is done; the evening meal; downtime, screen-free time and bedtime. This applies to the weekend too when they will have homework, unlike in most primary schools.

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Dr David Coleman's top tips to help your child through the stressful transition from primary to secondary school

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Dr David Coleman's top tips to help your child through the stressful transition from primary to secondary school - Independent.ie

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Irish Life - Health, Wellness, Fitness, Lifestyle

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How to prepare your child for going to secondary school for the first time

Read time: 4 Minutes

Your child's first day of secondary school is a strange and emotional time. You see that 11 year old swamped in a new uniform looking half like a child and half like a teenager and you instantly remember their first ever day as a tiny little four year old looking too miniature to be ready for such a big step.

For your son or daughter, it's even more daunting. The leap from primary to secondary school is a significant one. There's a lot of unknowns, which can cause anxiety among some children.

As we approach the last few days of the summer, there's a lot for you and your child to consider and prepare. Here are a few of our top tips for parents dealing with the milestone of secondary school.

Be open with your child about the fact that secondary school can be a daunting step. 11 year olds can be notoriously hard to communicate with (hello preteen hormones!), so asking them how they're feeling probably won't illicit much of a response.

Instead ask them what they expect or what they're excited about. If they don't seem keen to talk, don't push them. Just let him or her know that you understand that it's a big change and you're there for any questions or advice.

The most terrifying part about starting a new school is the fear of the unknown. This is something your child has never experienced before so they'll have no idea what to expect.

For that reason, bring as much familiarity as you can to the experience. Let them browse the school website to see what the building looks like and who their teachers are. If your child is taking the bus, practice the route with them or drive by the school in the run up.

During the week before school starts, practice getting up a bit earlier again and going to bed at a reasonable hour. Help them tone down their evenings as a lot of this time will be spent doing homework.

In the first few weeks after school starts, you'll need to be patient. Secondary school and the change that comes with it can be physically exhausting at the start - so don't be surprised if your little one comes straight home from school and falls asleep on the sofa.

It might take a little while for them to get used to the new routine. During this time don't put too much pressure on them to be full of energy and excitement all the time.

Secondary school is when you'll really notice just how grown up your baby has become. They'll be more keen to do things on their own and you should encourage this independence - as frightening is this can be. At the same time, it's important to promote responsibility. Let them know that if they forget to do homework, they have to face the consequences and if they're given lunch money during the week, they have to budget it and spend it responsibly.

Don't leave things to the night before

The night before the first day of a new school will be filled with nervous jitters and probably very little sleep for the both of you. Make sure everything is prepared well in advance. Ensure their uniform is ready and everything fits. Have the school books and school bag laid out and get up extra early in the morning so that everything is not a rush before you have to leave.

Secondary school can bring a considerable amount of extra homework than your child is used to, so get them off to a good start by having a solid homework routine from the outset. Set aside a couple of hours in the evening just for homework - where devices and distractions are out of the way. At the same time, make sure your child is not working too late into the evening feeling stressed. Help and support them when you can.

We all want our children to do well and get good grades but it's not the be all and end all - especially in the first few weeks of coping with such a big change. Let them know you're proud of how their adapting, fitting in and making friends. Being positive and encouraging will build their confidence and make them more focused and committed to continuing their good work.
Is your child starting secondary school this September? Let us know your top tips by using the hashtag #MyIrishLife or by leaving a comment below. Irish Life is one of Ireland's leading financial services companies with over 1 million customers. For over 75 years, we've been helping people in Ireland look after their life insurance, pension and investment needs.

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Secondary School Survival Guide - 7 Top Tips For Parents

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How to prepare your child for going to secondary school for the first time Read time: 4 Minutes Your child's first day of secondary school is a strange and emotional time.

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Tips for parents around new school/new teacher/new class