# data[].attributes.body
I see a lot of pain and power in “when they call you a terrorist” by Patrisse Khan-Cullors. Patrisse felt pain when her father kept going back to prison. He kept disappearing and she didn’t know why. When he was away, she no longer saw her father’s side of the family. Then when her father died, that really had an impact on her because of how close their relationship was. Alton was crying to Patrisse now that she knows that he is not her real father. He asks her if he still is her father even though he really isn’t. He is the man who was the only father figure in her life, so I can see where he is coming from. However, discovering that Alton was not her father was a big moment in her life. He is the only father figure that she has ever had. When Monte was arrested, their mother was very upset and worried about her son. She had to constantly call around to try to find out where they were holding him at. With a lot of police violence, I understand that she was probably worried for the well being of her child. Patrisse found out that was happening in one of the prison’s her brother has been to. There was a lot of torture and rape going on. She realized what he has gone through even though he has not yet shared it with her. I think that he has not shared it because he went through so much and he would feel as if he was reliving it if he explained everything to his family. When Patrisse was younger, she had to watch her brother get thrown up against walls and get searched for just standing in the alley hanging out with their friends. I couldn’t imagine how much pain she felt in this moment. She felt as if there was nothing she could do or say that would make the pain go away. When Patrisse’s friend Naomi came out about being a lesbian, her mother did not agree. “Marsha grabs her daughter right there on the track and attacks her, fists and feet, beating her daughter down in front of all her friends and coach until they are able to pull her off.” (76) She was punished and embarrassed for her sexuality. Her mother then moved her to a new school and town to start over. The community felt pain fore there being no safe place for their children to play while they were hanging out with friends, they were always scared that they would get thrown around by cops, killed, or even just searched inappropriately. In prisons, prisoners are tortured and raped by the guards. The guards were doing this for entertainment and didn’t care for the well-being of the prisoners. I don’t understand why the guards must take their power to extreme lengths. Don’t they think these prisoners suffer enough by being there? Why make it hard for them to live? They are already doing their time. Guards in prisons take their power to extreme lengths, they even take their power so high that it isn’t necessary. It got to the point where they use their power for their own entertainment by torturing prisoners; “…a wheelchair-bound prisoner whom deputies pulled off his bed, kicked and kneed his ribs, back and neck and then shot with pepper spray in his face.” (158) What kind of threat was this man? I don’t believe for one second that he was a threat at any given minute. Are the guards doing this to make themselves feel more powerful? Are they using someone who is weak and helpless to make themselves feel more powerful? I don’t like how they must make others feel weak so that they can feel power. This prisoner was not a danger to others, so I don’t understand why the guards felt as this torture was necessary. Whites have a lot of power throughout the first half of this book. Patrisse says, “No police cars circle the 90210, not like Van Nuys, where they do all day, every day, like hungry hyenas out there on the flatbeds.” (14) Do the police assume all whites are angels? I’m pretty sure that if you search a white man on the streets, you’ll find something illegal on him. However, whites are not stopped by cops if they were outside hanging out with friends, but a black person is stopped and searched.  Whites are taken into prison alive but is very rare for blacks. Why is that? Why are whites always safely taken in, but blacks are beat and sometimes dead by the time they get taken in? Patrisse was so scared that her family could be killed at any minute because of how the police treated them.

# data[].attributes.body
In the book “when they call you a terrorist” by Patrisse Khan-Cullors, I see a lot of things having to do with the police. Police are supposed to make you feel safe and through the first part of the book, this family is terrified. The blacks aren’t afraid of each other, they’re afraid of the police which are the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. The police refer to them as “niggers” rather than human beings. There is a lot of racism within the police, and there is nothing being done about it. Police are the ones who are causing the problems and violence, because they are pulling up on every black man they see standing around including kids when they have no reason of suspicion. Patrisse’s brothers were patted down and searched for hanging out in the streets. She said, “They throw them up on the wall. They make them pull their shirts up. They make them turn out their pockets. They roughly touch my brothers’ bodies, even their privates ...” (14) The police are taking their power to extreme lengths especially with these being young children hanging out with friends. Just because you see a group of kids hanging out doesn’t mean they are doing something illegally. The only reason why they are in the streets is because the lack of government support; “… no community centers to shoot hoops in, no playgrounds with handball courts, no parks for children to build castles in, so they make the alleyway their secret place and go there to discuss things they do not let me in on.” (14) All these children can do is hang out with their friends on the streets or in alleys. Should we be blaming them, or should we be blaming ourselves? We need to ask ourselves what we can do to keep children off the streets and have a safe place for them to play or hang out with friends. We shouldn’t have to worry about kids being grabbed inappropriately by cops because they are standing outside with a group of friends. This is what causes the suspect of illegal activity, and the cops then get physical which I believe is not necessary, especially if these are young children. Most of them don’t even know what drugs are or how to use them. Patrisse mentions that in white neighborhoods, the cops are helping the white children cross the street and make sure they’re safe, however in her neighborhood, they are treated as if they’re the criminals. They don’t even fear being arrested or being randomly searched; “But that surprises me less than the fact that not only has he never been arrested, he’s never even feared arrest. When he tells me that, I try to let it sink in, living without fear of the police. But it never does sink in.” (17) She brings up the fact that they will be treated this way no matter where they live. She means that she will always be black, and the cops will always treat blacks as if they are worthless. Patrisse says, “For us, law enforcement had nothing to do with protecting and serving but controlling and containing…” (26) The police see blacks as the problem and see them as always doing things illegally. However, when whites perform illegal behavior, it is not recognized. A huge case was mentioned that involved a man named Freddy Grey who was abused and thrown around by cops then pronounced dead. When her brother Monte went to prison, they had him on a bunch of drugs. He was all out of it and was being drugged more than he should have. I believe cops take their power to extreme lengths. They make themselves have more power than what they are supposed to have; “...add even more license to police already empowered to do whatever they want to us.” (15) It makes me think how many times a police officer has done something illegally, and someone else is blamed for the cop’s actions. It makes me think how many times a child is injured by police. It makes me think how many deaths are caused due to police brutality. It makes me think about how little support the black community has. It makes me wonder if black’s behavior is due to police violence. It makes me think a lot of things, especially whether cops should have as much power as they do. If you ever see a police officer taken to court, most of the time the police officer wins. Why is that?

# data[].attributes.body
I have had one person in my life who has always told me “You’re not good enough.” I have never heard of a father who tells his daughter that she isn’t good enough for him or anyone else.  I was constantly reminded that I wasn’t wanted, and I would never succeed in life. Everything that I’ve ever wanted to do was a “bad decision”. Going to a magnet high school was a “bad decision” because I “wasn’t smart enough”. That’s when I stopped making decisions for myself and let him make them for me. By the time I hit the age 15, I became a person who let others walk all over me. I did what others wanted me to do and I didn’t care whether I was happy, because “I didn’t matter”. I was a person who didn’t know what making decisions was until I finally moved out of my dad’s and moved in with my mom. My mom was all about me and what I wanted. This made me feel good and It made me feel like I matter in the world. She made me set goals for myself and she wanted me to succeed. In the past, African Americans also felt as they had no control over their life. They were always told what to do and their life was always in danger. They had to make others happy because they according to the world, they didn’t matter. They became slaves and were frequently tortured, sometimes even killed. They were brought down by white supremacy. Whites were the only ones who were supposed to be in power because they were the “normal” ones. However, you will see that good things come out of pain. When going through pain, you become stronger. You become someone who you never were before. Even if nothing good comes out of pain, you still want to make sure that you never go through that pain again by making changes. Pain shapes who you are. In the novel When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors and Asha Bandele, pain makes you powerful through police brutality, torture in prisons, criminalization of mental illness, family love and support, and safety in a community.

The police are a huge part of your community, they protect you and take away the bad guys. However, the police can abuse their power when they let it get to their head too much. They begin doing things that aren’t human like and we begin to question our safety. Police are supposed to make you feel safe and through the first part of the book, this family is terrified. People in the black communities aren’t afraid of each other, they’re afraid of the police which are the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. The police refer to them as “Nigger[s]” (107) rather than human beings. When you’re a young child growing up in a bad neighborhood, you see, smell, and hear everything. You see things that you wish you never had, you see things you must never speak of, you see things that you can’t control, and you see things that you question, but no one seems to have the answer to. You grow afraid of things that seem to have all control and no feelings for others. In this case, that is how Patrisse felt at a young age. She would sit behind a gate and watch the police assault her brothers; “They throw them up on the wall. They make them pull their shirts up. They make them turn out their pockets.” (14) I wonder what the police could possibly believe what these 14-year-old children are doing. That’s the thing, it’s not that they may be doing something, it’s because they’re black boys hanging out on the streets. The police don’t care who you are or what you’re doing. If you are black, then you’re already a target. Patrisse said, “Black children were far more at risk, suspended at nearly four times the rate of white students despite similar behavior patterns.” (169) I believe this is true because if one black person commits a crime, then all blacks are blamed for that crime. Maybe Is it just because of the color of their skin. I think that white supremacy still goes on to this day. There is a lot of racism within the police, and there is nothing being done about it. Police are the ones who are causing the problems and violence, because they are pulling up on every black man they see standing around including kids when they have no reason of suspicion. It makes me wonder how many times a child is injured by police. It makes me wonder how many deaths are caused due to police brutality. It makes me think about how little support the black community has. It makes me wonder if black’s behavior is due to police violence. It makes me think and wonder a lot of things, especially whether cops should have as much power as they do to be able to torture people. If you ever see a police officer taken to court by a civilian, most of the time the police officer wins.

Prison is a place in which people are legally held as a punishment for a crime they have committed or while awaiting trial. It’s a place where your freedom, movements, and access to everything is restricted. Prison is a place where dignity, privacy, and control are given up to guards. Over-criminalization harms individuals, our communities, and the national well-being. Patrisse shows us the extent guards take their power to; from entertainment to torture.  There was “…a wheelchair-bound prisoner whom deputies pulled off his bed, kicked and kneed his ribs, back and neck and then shot with pepper spray in his face.” (158) I don’t believe for one second that he was a threat at any given minute. I feel as guards are trying to feel better about themselves by torturing prisoners and making them feel weak. This wheelchair-bound prisoner was not a danger to others, so I don’t understand why the guards felt as this torture was necessary. You would think that they know these prisoners already suffer enough. Its unnecessary to make it hard for them to want to live if they are already doing their time in prison. I believe that Patrisse also asked herself these questions. She had so many thoughts and feelings for this that she created an art piece. This art piece showed what it was like for prisoners and their families. She showed how many times her mother has called looking for her son and got no answers. Patrisse has found strength through her family’s pain and is showing the world this pain to prevent it from happening again to her or to anyone else. She is speaking up, which a lot of people are afraid to do. Furthermore, her “…initial goal is to establish and ensure civilian oversight of the sheriff’s department.” (164) We can’t act as if the police department and people working inside these prisons don’t know what’s going on. However, they don’t speak up.  It makes me wonder if they’re scared to speak up, because if so, I would be too for my own safety.

Having a mental illness is terrifying. One minute you’re fine, and the next minute you need your meds. You lose control and it can have all sorts of effects on your health relationships work, education, and life itself. Sometimes the mentally ill feel unheard because they are always being told that they’re “overreacting”. They are trying to talk to someone about their concerns and are just ignored. They lose connection with others and feel rejected by the world. It is important to be aware of mental illnesses so that we do not criminalize them. However, all we do is criminalize them. They are being restrained and treated as they are a danger to themselves or others. They are restrained as soon as the words mentally ill comes out of someone’s mouth. We tend to blame the person for their behavior as if they have complete control over it. This is especially true if they are a person of color. Patrisse’s brother Monte has personal experience his mental illness being criminalized. Instead of getting the help he needed, the police would be called, and he would be thrown into prison. Being black and mentally ill didn’t do him any good. It was assumed that he was just a violent black man who was a threat to everyone. When Monte was arrested, the police assumed he was on drugs because of his color and behavior. Patrisse begins to “…wonder why cops never seem to think that Black people can have mental illness.” (116) She makes me wonder what would have happened if Monte was white. He most likely would have gotten the right help instead of being thrown in jail. Black men are treated as dangerous individuals who people believe are naturally born that way. However, white men are treated as the good ones and are the ones who are more likely to be ill than dangerous. I don’t think any good comes from being a member of the black community with a mental illness.

Our families are where we experience our biggest triumphs and our deepest vulnerabilities. They are where we have the greatest potential to do good. It is more important to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities. In the book, Patrisse does just this. She learns that Gabriel is her biological father. She then learns that he has a problem with drug addiction and has been to prison multiple times. Instead of wanting nothing to do with him, she accepts him. He has never had support or help for his addiction. Instead, he was always punished even though an addiction is like having a mental illness. However, his family has stuck by his side and accepts him for all his flaws: “He thanks us for not throwing him away, for staying by his side when he went to prison, which is how our society responded to drug use.” (38) If he didn’t have a family or support from them, he may have given up on himself and his life. However, his family found strength for forgiveness in this rough part of his life.

A community is about creating a common vision and sense of belonging to everyone, valuing and appreciate people from different backgrounds. It’s about creating strong positive relationships in schools, neighborhoods, and the workplace. You need to feel safety because it’s hard to live in not only a community, but in the world without safety. Safety is important, especially when you have young children. Parents need to feel safe letting their children outside to play and hang out with friends. However, there needs to be a safe place for them to play in a community. In the book, these children were not safe. These young black children are “…hanging out in the street – because there were no parks and rec, no programming, nothing except sidewalks and alleyways to hang out in – became a gang.” (54) They did not have a safe place to play, and the only place they could play, or hangout was the streets or alleys. Young children are being stopped and searched by police just because they are hanging out with friends. The police have no reason to suspect any illegal activity, but the fact that they are on the streets means that they must be doing wrong. It’s not the children’s fault that they have no safe place to play and it’s not ours either. Through all the pain the community went to in the book, they came together; “We open doors and ask people who have not been paid attention to join us.” (250) They are supporting one another and are making a change because they no longer want to see their children or families going through this pain. They are found a strength in their selves to push for safer and better communities.

I am now someone who sticks up for what I want. I like a challenge and I don’t back down from anything I believe in. I stood up to my father and told him that enough is enough. I now do what I want to do, and nobody will stop me. The same goes for African Americans. They had riots, marches, and sit-ins just to fight for their equality. They became people who fought hard for what they wanted due to the pain they went through. They gave speeches on how they were treated as a person of color and how unsafe they felt in the streets of their neighborhoods. They showed us how much they were dehumanized. Years later, Barak Obama becomes the first black president of the United States. He was president for eight years and “the number of violent crimes in 2016 was 10.5 percent lower than the number in 2008…property crimes dropped 19 percent.” (FactCheck) That sounds like progress to me. Black Lives Matter has been emphasizing basic human rights and racial equality for those who are black. They no longer want to be targeted. This is because when we think of someone selling drugs, we think of a black man. We are too focused on a world of non-blacks and we praise white supremacy. All people are the same no matter the color of their skin, and the Black Lives Matter Movement wants to bring this to everyone’s view. We need to look at it as every person who is black has the power to thrive. In one-word, Black Lives Matter means equality.

# data[].attributes.headline
“At this time, the pain to remain the same outweighed the pain to change.”  ~ Erykah Badu in Black Power Mixtape  

# data[].attributes.subject
“At this time, the pain to remain the same outweighed the pain to change.”  ~ Erykah Badu in Black Power Mixtape  

# data[].attributes.body
When I read this quote by Badu, I get a sense of pain having power over you. You have went through so much that you just don't feel like trying anymore. For example, race discrimination has been going on throughout the country. It makes it hard for you to thrive and you give up on all hope. If you try to fight for equality, you go through a lot more pain rather than just accepting the fact that you'll never be equal.