# data[].attributes.headline
TECHNOLOGY NOT WORKING TODAY GUYS.  EMMA IS GOING TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHATS GOING WRONG AND WE CAN TRY AGAIN. IN THE MEAN TIME. LETS CARRY ON USING THE DISCUSSION BOARD ON BLACKBOARD, JUST CLICK ON DISCUSSION ON THE LEFT HAND MENU IN PSYCHOLOGY.  OR FEEL FREE TO EMAIL OR USE THIS PADLET BOARD. 

# data[].attributes.subject
TECHNOLOGY NOT WORKING TODAY GUYS.  EMMA IS GOING TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHATS GOING WRONG AND WE CAN TRY AGAIN. IN THE MEAN TIME. LETS CARRY ON USING THE DISCUSSION BOARD ON BLACKBOARD, JUST CLICK ON DISCUSSION ON THE LEFT HAND MENU IN PSYCHOLOGY.  OR FEEL FREE TO EMAIL OR USE THIS PADLET BOARD. 

# data[].attributes.headline
DETAILS FOR USING YOUR PHONE TO DIAL IN TO FRIDAY MORNING PSYCHOLOGY CLASS. IF USING LAPTOP OR TABLET PLEASE SEE POSTS BELOW FOR DIFFERENT DIAL IN CODE

# data[].attributes.subject
DETAILS FOR USING YOUR PHONE TO DIAL IN TO FRIDAY MORNING PSYCHOLOGY CLASS. IF USING LAPTOP OR TABLET PLEASE SEE POSTS BELOW FOR DIFFERENT DIAL IN CODE

# data[].attributes.body
+442033189610 PIN: 891 138 1324     for phoning in.

# data[].attributes.headline
GUYS, Have you all been able to access Marie's video's?  She has done a series of these on the topics covering the report assignment.  There are also some exercises to complete.  Both Emma and I will be on line today to help you.  Remember, we have your back on this, we will help you every step of the way as much as we can. 

# data[].attributes.subject
GUYS, Have you all been able to access Marie's video's?  She has done a series of these on the topics covering the report assignment.  There are also some exercises to complete.  Both Emma and I will be on line today to help you.  Remember, we have your back on this, we will help you every step of the way as much as we can. 

# data[].attributes.headline
GUYS, THERE WILL BE AN ONLINE SESSION TODAY FRIDAY 20TH MARCH 11AN - 12.10PM, IN BLACKBOARD COLLABORATE. (A VIRTUAL CLASSROOM) PLEASE LOG IN AT 11AM USING THE LINK BELOW, OR TRY CLICKING ON THE SCREEN BELOW FROM YOUR LAPTOP OR TABLET.  THERE IS THE FACILITY TO SPEAK AND TO VIEW EACH OTHER.  HOWEVER, IF YOU PREFER NOT TO HAVE THE CAMERA ON, FEEL FREE TO TURN IT OFF, THERE IS THE FACILITY THERE. WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER BY TEXT OR BY MICROPHONE.  IF YOU CHOOSE TO LOG IN BY PHONE THERE IS A DIFFERENT CODE.  TO STOP ANY CONFUSION, I WILL PUT THAT ON A SEPERATE POST. SPEAK TO YOU AT 11AM

# data[].attributes.subject
GUYS, THERE WILL BE AN ONLINE SESSION TODAY FRIDAY 20TH MARCH 11AN - 12.10PM, IN BLACKBOARD COLLABORATE. (A VIRTUAL CLASSROOM) PLEASE LOG IN AT 11AM USING THE LINK BELOW, OR TRY CLICKING ON THE SCREEN BELOW FROM YOUR LAPTOP OR TABLET.  THERE IS THE FACILITY TO SPEAK AND TO VIEW EACH OTHER.  HOWEVER, IF YOU PREFER NOT TO HAVE THE CAMERA ON, FEEL FREE TO TURN IT OFF, THERE IS THE FACILITY THERE. WE CAN TALK TO EACH OTHER BY TEXT OR BY MICROPHONE.  IF YOU CHOOSE TO LOG IN BY PHONE THERE IS A DIFFERENT CODE.  TO STOP ANY CONFUSION, I WILL PUT THAT ON A SEPERATE POST. SPEAK TO YOU AT 11AM

# data[].attributes.body
Version:1.0 StartHTML:000000260 EndHTML:000002124 StartFragment:000001991 EndFragment:000002092 StartSelection:000001991 EndSelection:000002092 SourceURL:https://eu-lti.bbcollab.com/collab/ui/scheduler/session/settings/c20996223ec0496e9c7822af4b5fd179  Bb Collaborate Sessionshttps://eu.bbcollab.com/guest/16e649ebf9694c8c82fc393fa712977a

# data[].attributes.body
Including the Bystander Effect, Psychological Altruism and Biological Altruism

# data[].attributes.body
Slides from Friday 28th February. Obedience and Conformity.

# data[].attributes.headline
WELL DONE TO THE TEAMS THAT COMPLETED THE KEY CONCEPTS IN SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY AS ASKED.  PLEASE NOTE YOUR TASK FOR NEXT WEEK. UNDER THINGS TO BE DONE...

# data[].attributes.subject
WELL DONE TO THE TEAMS THAT COMPLETED THE KEY CONCEPTS IN SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY AS ASKED.  PLEASE NOTE YOUR TASK FOR NEXT WEEK. UNDER THINGS TO BE DONE...

# data[].attributes.headline
PLEASE PREPARE AND BE READY TO PRESENT BACK TO THE CLASS ON FRIDAY

# data[].attributes.subject
PLEASE PREPARE AND BE READY TO PRESENT BACK TO THE CLASS ON FRIDAY

# data[].attributes.headline
IMPRESSION FORMATION IS A KEY AREA OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY.  IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME AND CHAT WITH ME ABOUT IT,

# data[].attributes.subject
IMPRESSION FORMATION IS A KEY AREA OF SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY.  IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME AND CHAT WITH ME ABOUT IT,

# data[].attributes.headline
SLIDES FROM FRIDAY 21ST FEBRUARY - IMPRESSION FORMATION.  INCLUDING END OF LAST WEEKS GROUPS SESSION

# data[].attributes.subject
SLIDES FROM FRIDAY 21ST FEBRUARY - IMPRESSION FORMATION.  INCLUDING END OF LAST WEEKS GROUPS SESSION

# data[].attributes.headline
SEE WHICH BELBIN TEAM ROLE YOU WOULD BE BEST AT

# data[].attributes.subject
SEE WHICH BELBIN TEAM ROLE YOU WOULD BE BEST AT

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Leadership typically implies that the leader plays a role in moving a group or team forward. But in some instances, a leader can actually take a cohesive, productive work team and cause it to perform worse, or in extreme cases, absolutely ruin it.

I know of one organization that is known for its tight-knit, high-performing staff. In the past decade, there has been a series of top-level leadership changes, for a variety of reasons (e.g., retirements, relocations, etc.). The leaders were different in their approaches and styles, but regardless of who was in charge, the team continued to function flawlessly. That is, until the most recent boss. She came into the organization and in a relatively short period of time, the team became less cohesive, efficiency suffered, and what was once a happy workplace became miserable.

What were the new leader's shortcomings, and how did they negatively impact the team?

1. The Leader Randomly Plays Favorites. From her arrival, the new boss showed favoritism to a few team members, and harshly criticized others. In the very first team meeting, the leader chastised one member for "speaking out of turn," and praised another for his "spontaneous suggestion." Even worse, the leader would seemingly "grow tired" of her favorites and turn on them. As a result, team members never knew if they were in the leader's "in-group" or "out-group." This broke up the team's sense of cohesiveness.

2. The Leader Actively Looks for Mistakes. Instead of setting direction and focusing on positive performance, this leader was constantly watching staff, looking for errors and coming down hard when staff made mistakes. This is known as Active Management-by-Exception, where the leader focuses primarily on what is going wrong, rather than encouraging positive actions and performance. As a result, staff was constantly "looking over their shoulder," and spending their energy on trying to not make mistakes.

3. The Leader Neglects the Leadership Role. A leader should embody what the team stands for, and should be an active and involved member of the team. Instead, this boss would leave early, frequently be absent or "unavailable," and looked bored and disinterested at team functions.

How should a good leader manage a high-functioning team?

A. Build a sense of cohesiveness and community by focusing on shared goals, mission, and values, and by demonstrating fairness in the treatment of team members.

B. Focus on positive performance, provide appropriate feedback and rewards, and use errors as a "teaching moment" to build team members' skills and capacity.

C. Become a full participant in the team, be present and involved in team processes, develop ways to facilitate the team functioning by providing appropriate resources and support, and promoting the team to outsiders.

Follow me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/#!/ronriggio

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
When a Bad Leader Ruins a Great Work Team

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Leadership typically implies that the leader plays a role in moving a group or team forward. But in some instances, a leader can actually take a cohesive, productive work team and cause it to perform worse, or in extreme cases, absolutely ruin it. I know of one organization that is known for its tight-knit, high-performing staff.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of facilitating a discussion following the New York premiere of Nick Ryan's The Summit. The movie, which the New York Times called a "riveting documentary", was just that: a shocking account of the 2008 attempt on K2 in which 11 climbers tragically lost their lives.I was there to shed some light on the concept of Summit Fever , while the term is not a scientific diagnosis by any means, it is used in the climbing communities to describe the elated, disoriented and sometimes dangerous mental state that climbers can find themselves in when at the top of a peak as high as K2; that is, 28,000 feet.The movie tells the story of mysterious behavior of some of the climbers near the top of the mountain. Some seemed to make careless, even blatantly dangerous, choices that seem unexplainable for individuals at their level of the sport. Some of these decisions lead to their death or the death of others.This is also the story of the lives of the climbers and their families. Most notably Ger McDonnell who died on K2 after summiting that day but also Pemba Gyalje Sherpa ,who survives and heroically goes back to the summit to attempt to save others. In the movie and in the New York Times Pemba Sherpa makes some powerful comments about the cultural difference in climbers.

People interviewed in the movie, people at the Q and A, people everywhere wanted to know what happened at the summit. What is summit fever and how did this happen? Well, you'll have to peep the movie if you want the exciting full story.

But here are my thoughts about how decision making can become impaired in these high pressure situations.

The first, most basic explanation is the physical environment. We all have impairments in judgment when we are oxygen deprived and our sympathetic nervous system is in a constant state of arousal. Additionally after climbing for 12 hours, exhaustion can take its toll. Lastly there is a huge component of goal seeking. Many climbers have been training for months and therefore have huge personal and sometimes financial investments in reaching the top. Also, once close to the top, the typical risk and sensation seeking climber will find it more difficult to turn back.

Secondly, the more complex explanation has less to do with the individual climber but more to do with the team. In this situation and those like it there is usually an element of Groupthink. Groupthink is an idea that was advanced by Irving Janis. It describes the process in which people are driven to conform to group opinions or beliefs. If, in your perception, your opinion is different from the larger group of climbers you may be psychologically inclined to conform to the group's actions or decisions even if they seem to be dangerous. When you combine the aforementioned physiological variables with groupthink you have a deadly combination that may result in the tragedies depicted in The Summit.

What can be done about groupthink? How do you change that behavior? I had the opportunity to interview Dr. Meredith Belbin, a leading expert on teams, regarding team strategies that can help to prevent groupthink. He stresses that clarity of team roles are essential for optimal performance, "Teams work well in so far as each member has a role with an acknowledged part to play in the work of the team". In addition, Dr. Belbin recommends a safeguard of the group agreeing to assign the role of a "Monitor Evaluator" who undertakes the role of "risk assessor".
Here are some other thoughts that can help your team avoid groupthink and other dangerous situations:

1. Identify a "devil's advocate" ("Monitor Evaluator" in Dr. Belbin's language) on the team whose role is to question anything that seems like a potential risk that is being overlooked.

2. Create the expectations that the group will question the norm.

3. Discuss groupthink at regular team meetings and have a brief team check in to ensure that there are no important dissenting opinions.

4. If you are the group leader, assure the team regularly that they will not be penalized for sharing their reservations.

All in all, The Summit was an inspiring tale of those that seek to reach a new pinnacle in sport. Hopefully it will be a call towards understanding how teams work under these conditions, helping teams to avoid danger and work more effectively together up all sorts of mountains.

Be sure to follow Dr. Fader on Twitter.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Summit Fever: Groupthink and The 2008 K2 Tragedy

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of facilitating a discussion following the New York premiere of Nick Ryan's The Summit.

# data[].attributes.body
CLASS AS NORMAL. TOPIC IS IMPRESSION FORMATION - WHAT'S BEHIND FIRST IMPRESSIONS? DO THEY MATTER?

# data[].attributes.headline
BUSINESS AND FINANCE STUDENTS: WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY?

# data[].attributes.subject
BUSINESS AND FINANCE STUDENTS: WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY?

# data[].attributes.body
READ THIS

# data[].attributes.body
Explanations of Group polarisation, Risky Shift Phenomenon and Group Think

# data[].attributes.body
WELCOME TO THE SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY MODULE

# data[].attributes.body
WEEK 1 GROUP PROCESSES

# data[].attributes.headline
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT FRIDAY'S TEST

# data[].attributes.subject
IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT FRIDAY'S TEST

# data[].attributes.body
PLEASE NOTE:
If you have a laptop and would like to use it to type your test answers, you may use it on Friday.  The wifi must be turned off as yoy will not be allowed to use it to source answers.  Don't forget, revise One area of life span
Two theories and
One  condition associated with that age.
Any concerns, email me. See you Friday.

# data[].attributes.headline
Guys, The slides for Dementia are under class slides if you need to refresh your memory. 

# data[].attributes.subject
Guys, The slides for Dementia are under class slides if you need to refresh your memory. 

# data[].attributes.body
I was going to upload a copy of the DSM 5 for you to see however, the file is too big.  Sorry.  Don't worry you have all the information on symptoms and treatments of conditions in your notes and slides.

# data[].attributes.headline
Revision Frameworks for test are under articles, journals and other column

# data[].attributes.subject
Revision Frameworks for test are under articles, journals and other column

# data[].attributes.headline
Revision Framework for Development Theories

# data[].attributes.subject
Revision Framework for Development Theories

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Theories of Human Development revision framework.JPG

# data[].attributes.headline
Revision Framework for Conditions of Ab.Norm. Psy.

# data[].attributes.subject
Revision Framework for Conditions of Ab.Norm. Psy.

# data[].attributes.headline
Key Points on Definitions of Abnormal Psychology

# data[].attributes.subject
Key Points on Definitions of Abnormal Psychology

# data[].attributes.body
This is great for revising. Key points with strengths and weaknesses

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Psyc2400 Ch 09 Erikson on Intimacy vs  Isolation

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Uploaded by Marie Coppola on 2013-10-24.

# data[].attributes.body
Erikson - Stage 6

# data[].attributes.headline
Further resourses on Erikson's 8 Stages of Development

# data[].attributes.subject
Further resourses on Erikson's 8 Stages of Development

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Human Development: Erikson's Life Stages

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development Explained

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development Explained

# data[].attributes.body
Gould (1978) an explanation of the stages of Gould's Crisis Model of Adulthood

# data[].attributes.body
Celebrities talk about loved ones who have dementia

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Celebrities who have opened up about their loved ones' dementia battle

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Photo - Celebrities who have opened up about their loved ones' dementia battle, including Davina McCall, Ruth Langsford and more

# data[].attributes.body
History/Definition/Stress/Depression/Dementia

# data[].attributes.body
DISUPTIVE MOOD DYSREGULATION DISORDER CONTD...

# data[].attributes.body
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (SAD)

# data[].attributes.body
POST NATAL DEPRESSION

# data[].attributes.body
PREMENSTRUAL DYSPHORIC DISORDER (PMT/PMS)

# data[].attributes.headline
SYMPTOMS OF MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER (MDD)   

# data[].attributes.subject
SYMPTOMS OF MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER (MDD)   

# data[].attributes.body
The splitting off of clusters of mental contents from conscious awareness. Dissociation is a mechanism central to dissociative disorders. The term is also used to describe the separation of an idea from its emotional significance and affect, as seen in the inappropriate affect in schizophrenia. Often a result of psychic trauma, dissociation may allow the individual to maintain allegiance to two contradictory truths while remaining unconscious of the contradiction. (traumadissociation.com/glossary)

# data[].attributes.body
•The DSM-5 lists four clusters of symptoms:

•

1.Re-experiencing the event

●

2.Heightened arousal

●

3.Avoidance

●

4.Negative thoughts and mood or feelings.
N.B.
•There is a Preschool Subtype for children < 6 years.

•Also a Dissociative Subtype: when PTSD occurs along with dissociation

# data[].attributes.body
•A psychological disorder triggered by exposure to an extreme traumatic stressor such as:
–Military combat

–Violent personal assault

–Being taken hostage

–Terrorist attack

–Torture

–Prisoner of war

–Natural/man-made disaster

–Severe car accident

•Witnessing serious injury or unnatural death due to such an event

# data[].attributes.body
“ A negative emotional experience accompanied by predictable biochemical, physiological, cognitive, and behavioural changes that are directed either toward altering the stressful event or accommodating to its effects”.

Baum (1990). Stress, intrusive imagery and chronic distress. Health Psychology 10, 80-85.

# data[].attributes.headline
Sometimes reading about some of these topics can trigger bad memories which can lead to distress.  If you need support, the following are available for you:

# data[].attributes.subject
Sometimes reading about some of these topics can trigger bad memories which can lead to distress.  If you need support, the following are available for you:

# data[].attributes.body
Mind (charity)

Phone: 0300 123 3393

Text: 86463

Email: info@mind.org.uk

The University of South Wales wellbeing service

Website: https://wellbeing.southwales.ac.uk.

# data[].attributes.body
•The assumption of the Biological Approach is that mental disorders are the result of problems at a biological level, predominantly involving brain anatomy and chemistry and with some disorders a genetic component has also been identified.

# data[].attributes.body
The humanistic approach is firmly based on the concept of the
self. This concerns issues to do with your self-concept (how you see
yourself), and your self-esteem (how you feel about yourself).
The humanistic approach also emphasises the importance of
being able to make our own rational choices. All of the other
approaches suggest that our behaviour is, to a large extent,
directed by other forces not always under our control – genes,
the environment, our thought patterns, or our unconscious mind.
Humanistic psychologists believe the goal of psychology is not
prediction or control but to understand the whole person. (Flanagan et al., 2015. Psychology for A Level)

# data[].attributes.body
Cognitive approach
This approach focuses on thinking – our feelings, beliefs, attitudes and expectations and
the effects they have on our behaviour.
The approach employs the ‘computer metaphor’ to explain how our minds work; like
computers we process information.
The approach has been used to explain many things including mental disorders such
as depression. According to the cognitive approach depression occurs because people
think negatively – they put the worst possible interpretation on events and play down
the good things that happen to them. They think it will never get better. According to
the cognitive approach the depression lies in the way they are thinking rather than in
reality.
Like behaviourist psychologists, cognitive psychologists use lab experiments as a
key research method. But a big difference is that while behaviourists have no interest in
what goes on inside the mind, cognitive psychologists are the opposite. The processes
inside the mind are precisely what they are interested in and have an important link to
the behaviours we observe. (Flanagan et al., 2015. Psychology for A Level)

# data[].attributes.body
Psychodynamic approach
This is the approach that originated with Sigmund Freud, possibly
the most well-known psychologist ever. He believed that the causes
of behaviour lie within the unconscious mind, the part of the mind
that is normally closed off to us but is extremely active. The iceberg
metaphor has been used to represent this ‘invisible’ unconscious
mind that has powerful effects (think Titanic).
There is constant dynamic con� ict between parts of the
unconscious and the conscious mind. We can get a brief glimpse
of this conflict when we dream, which is why Freud advocated the
use of dream interpretation to help us understand what’s in the
unconscious and why it affects us.
The approach also emphasises the importance of childhood
experiences, which have a major impact on our personality
development and our behaviour as adults. (Flanagan et al., 2015. Psychology for A Level)

# data[].attributes.body
Hi Guys, the above session will be a recap on Abnormal Psychology. I'll post resources on here as and when, so keep checking the board.

# data[].attributes.headline
Yesterday's slides are on the board together with the explanations of Gould's crisis model stages ( these are in theorists).  Don't forget to scroll across for more columns and scroll down for more posts in each column

# data[].attributes.subject
Yesterday's slides are on the board together with the explanations of Gould's crisis model stages ( these are in theorists).  Don't forget to scroll across for more columns and scroll down for more posts in each column

# data[].attributes.body
Thanks
Ann

# data[].attributes.body
Ann Vincent
email: 14057654@students.southwales.ac.uk

# data[].attributes.body
This board belongs to all of us. Please add your own comments, questions, answers, requests and any resources you find you think may help us with our Psychology Module.
Feel free to add to columns, make other columns where appropriate.

Its not compulsory, you don't have to use it, but its a way we can all help each other to learn this stuff and achieve fab grades in this module.

Just one thing to remember about resources you add, make sure they come from a credible, quality source.  Look for articles which give different ideas and video's that you think explain things better.

# data[].attributes.body
Just wanted to say thank you for all your input in to yesterday's class session. I really enjoyed our discussions. Lets do more talking next week.

# data[].attributes.body
Please don't forget to complete the stress scale in the column "Things to be done". This is a list of critical life events which can impact upon an individual with the potential to cause stress.  We won't be asking you to share your results of the test, but it will help you to build upon what you have learned about stress and hopefully link in to what we will be doing in class.  Besides, it's fun...

# data[].attributes.body
Gould (1978) an explanation of the stages of Gould's Crisis Model of Adulthood

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
We all know the stereotype: Men, bored by the constraints of monogamy and domesticity, heartlessly dump their girlfriends or leave their wives. While newly single men enjoy the freedoms of bachelordom, their exes sob into a pint of ice cream.

But men crave relationships and marriage as much as women (see my earlier post). What's more, women may end more unions than men. Women initiate more divorces than men (Hewitt et al 2006; Kalmijn and Poortman 2006) and there is little gender difference in which spouse has an affair preceding a divorce (England, Allison, and Sayer 2014). In addition, on average, women may suffer less post-break-up. Marriage is strongly associated with overall happiness for both genders, in part because marriage is associated with financial well-being and better health (Stack 1998). But not only may marital happiness be higher for men than women (Corra 2009), the protective health effect of marriage is larger for men (Rendall et al 2011; Wu et al. 2003). Men may be happier in their marriages than women and men may have more to lose in a divorce or break-up in terms of health and happiness.

Indeed, divorce is associated with worse physical and mental health more strongly for men than for women (Robards 2012). These negative health effects are not trivial, men are more likely than women to develop suicidality after a separation (Kolves 2010). Women may actually experience some health benefits from breaking up. For example, when stable heterosexual couples are asked to sleep apart (not sharing the same bed or sleeping space), women's quality of sleep is improved whereas men's quality of sleep is reduced (Dittami et al 2007).

So why are break-ups harder on men?

Much of the negative effect of divorce on health may be explained by changes in lifestyle-such as tobacco and alcohol use (Hemminki and Li 2003). Wives encourage husbands' healthy behavior (Reczek and Umberson 2012); without this positive influence, divorced men may rapidly fall into old, unhealthy habits. In addition, men may be more emotionally dependent on their romantic partners and have fewer alternative sources of support. When asked who they would turn to first if they were feeling depressed, 71 percent of men selected their wives. whereas only 39 percent of women selected their husband (author's calculations from the General Social Survey, 1972-2012). Married women may maintain a more diverse network of emotional support than married men, and this non-spousal support is important during a separation. That isn't to say that men don't have friends or family, but they may be less accustomed to seeking or receiving non-spousal emotional support. In fact, some researchers have even argued that men are neurochemically predisposed to find break-ups more difficult than women and to resist seeking help from friends (Young and Alexander 2012).
Rebounding with someone new
Divorced women are less likely than divorced men to remarry, but in the short term, it may be harder for men than women to rebound with a new partner. Online dating sites, for example, often have an excess of men. In addition, it is not clear how much of the gender gap in remarriage is due to opportunity (e.g., women may be less able to remarry) and how much is due to desire (women may be less keen to remarry). Many women, especially widows, but also divorced women with children, don't want a second go at marriage (Lampard 1999; Davidson 2001). Previously married women often associate marriage with increased care obligations and reduced freedom whereas men may miss the material and emotional care they received from their spouse-on average, men may be more emotionally dependent on their spouses, which would make remarriage more desirable. Indeed, it is the men with low levels of social support from friends who are most desirous of remarriage (Carr 2004).
Break-ups are hard for everyone
This isn't to say that break-ups aren't also hard for women. They are. Both divorced men and women suffer poorer physical and emotional health. But the harmful effects may be stronger for men-and men may receive less support from friends or family, in part because men may be less likely to seek out this support. If you know a guy who has recently gone through a break-up, don't assume that he's taking it easily. Obviously, it is important to provide the same help and sympathy to women, but women may have an easier time seeking a confidant and asking for assistance.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Why Breakups Are Actually Tougher on Men

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We all know the stereotype: Men, bored by the constraints of monogamy and domesticity, heartlessly dump their girlfriends or leave their wives. While newly single men enjoy the freedoms of bachelordom, their exes sob into a pint of ice cream. But men crave relationships and marriage as much as women (see my earlier post).

# data[].attributes.headline
Decline of marriage in the UK 1935 - 2016

# data[].attributes.subject
Decline of marriage in the UK 1935 - 2016

# data[].attributes.body
Data taken from the National Statistic Office 2016

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Figure 1b_ Marriage rates have generally fallen since their peak in 1972 (1)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
As a well-adjusted middle-aged man, I like to define myself by the things I don't have. I don't have a scarlet Lamborghini or a conspicuous tattoo or a 22-year-old girlfriend to jumpstart my libido. Nor do I possess a penchant for extreme sports or expensive psychotherapy. Midway through my fifth decade, I've avoided the obvious pitfalls and reckon I'm coping quite well, which is why I am on my way to discuss the male midlife crisis with the therapist Andrew G Marshall, who has written a book on the subject. It's a task that requires a cool and dispassionate eye. We will be like two doctors, I decide, objectively diagnosing the problems of others.

Inside his therapy room, Marshall directs me to an armchair and stoops to pour out some water. First impressions could hardly be more reassuring: Marshall is a soothing, sober man in colourful clothes. He asks about my background and my health, moving from my childhood to my present circumstances. I respond as honestly as I can, still confident I'll be given the all-clear. I tell him I sailed past my 40th birthday with no problem at all. After that, admittedly, there was a difficult spell, one that lasted perhaps four years. I list all the things that happened. I tell him that my relationship broke down and I moved out of my home. I tell him my best friend died suddenly, which threw me for a loop. I mention that my father fell ill. Oh, and that I also got married. I tell him that I then had a second child to set alongside my 11-year-old daughter from the previous relationship. I tell him I quit my job and quit London, and that we now live out west. I tell him I think that's about it, although there might be some stuff I've forgotten. But by now I'm out of breath, shaken. Recited as a list, those past four years sound positively existential.

Marshall jots notes in his pad. He asks who I turned to for help during this difficult period. I tell him I didn't really turn to anybody: I went through the worst parts alone. Why would I want to have people seeing me as a mess?

"It's quite interesting," he says. "You belonging to what we nowadays call the metropolitan elite. Most of my clients, by your age, have had at least three therapists. Whereas you went through this incredible period and not only did you not seek professional help, you actually detached yourself from your friends."

Lots of people flunk the test. They anaesthetise themselves - with drink, generally. Or computer games, or porn. Or work

I nod dutifully, and yet something he said has already stuck in my craw. I don't consider myself part of the metropolitan elite, and I'm annoyed that he would blithely stick me in that box. Nor, for that matter, am I convinced I've had a midlife crisis, despite the bald evidence of those torrid four years. But that's the nature of cliche. We may see ourself as one thing, unique and specific; the world sees us as another - as a social demographic or a cluster of symptoms.

Marshall's own interest is based on both personal and professional experience. His partner died when he was in his late 30s and this pitched him into what he describes as "the bleakest period of my life". Meanwhile, all around, his patients were navigating a similar set of hurdles. The Office for National Statistics reports that 40- to 59-year-olds are the most anxious age group. Marshall believes this anxiety is sparked by a sudden awareness of mortality and a fear of failure; the nagging, nightmarish sense that we will never fulfil our true potential.

No one wants to own up to a midlife crisis: the condition is redolent of too many bad jokes. On setting out to write his new book, Marshall even deliberated before putting the term in the title, concerned that the mere mention might scare readers away. Finally, he opted for a cunning disguise, referencing the condition while denying its existence. The book is called It's Not A Midlife Crisis, It's An Opportunity, subhead: "How To Be Forty- Or Fifty-Something Without Going Off The Rails".

Marshall has seen many casualties in his time - people who, when faced with the challenges of middle age, promptly crash and burn. "A lot of people flunk the test," he says. "They anaesthetise themselves - with drink, generally. Or with computer games, or pornography. Or with work. And if you don't answer the questions, you become bitter, closed off and cynical."

Fail and you suffer an L-shaped life, you plummet and flatline. Pass, and win the U-shaped life: a brilliant late bloom

I start to wonder whether I flunked the test. Marshall certainly seems to think I was guilty of closing myself off. He says, "I'm getting a very strong message that you're not allowed to be vulnerable. That you need to be loved, yet, when things get difficult, you withdraw from everybody. It's a strange dichotomy. Because on the one hand you're an open book in a rather controlled way, in that you're a journalist and therefore in charge of the words. But the rest of you is completely closed."

"I don't think I was completely closed," I say. "I just didn't want people to see me in disarray."

"I'm sorry," he says firmly, "but that's completely closed. You only wanted people to see the mask."

"OK," I say. "Fine."

And yet, actually, it's not fine: his whole premise is bullshit. Look at us here. Look at what we are doing. Almost shouting, I say, "It's a ridiculous thing, you saying I'm closed. I'm going to write this bloody session up for everybody to read."

Marshall smiles, unperturbed. "Yes, well," he says. "Often in the second half of our lives, we have to do all of the things we didn't do in the first."

***

The term "midlife crisis" was coined in 1965 by the Canadian psychologist Elliott Jaques. Marshall believes the label has now outlived its usefulness. He prefers to call it "the midlife passage". Approached in the right spirit, he says, this is a chance to engage with the big questions: who am I? What are my values? What gives my life meaning? You can meet your true self. You can become your own person.

Marshall has devised exercises to smooth our progress. He describes a simple counting meditation to reduce anxiety, explains how to "record your feelings", and the events that trigger them. He also invites us to chart the highs and lows of our lives on a graph, moving from infancy through to middle age. I try this last one myself. The line leaps and dips with abandon. It makes my life look like a series of cardiac arrests.

The way Marshall tells it, there are three obvious routes through the midlife passage. Fail the challenge, and you suffer what he describes as an L-shaped life, where you plummet to Earth and then essentially flatline until death. Pass the test, and you win the U-shaped life: a glorious upswing, a brilliant late bloom. Then there is the third option, the joker in the pack, the switchback ride of the W-shaped life. This occurs when you reach for the quick-fix solution (the thrilling affair, the scarlet Lamborghini), or what Marshall calls "the myth of the great other". The effect can be instant, galvanic. But it's an artificial high, a dead cat bounce that leads only to more heartache.

Naturally, this makes me wonder about my own circumstances. The storm has passed; I have a new life in a new city. My days are a whirl of nappy changes and country rambles, augmented with odds and sods of semi-regular work. I'm pretty sure it's not an L-shaped life. But is it a W or is it a U?

Is the midlife crisis a first-world problem? Marshall disagrees: 'It's intrinsic in mankind. It hits you over the head'

Out of the blue, I find myself telling Marshall about a man named Miroslav Novotny. I think he's originally from the Czech Republic; he speaks rudimentary English. I picture Miroslav Novotny as something out of an Edward Hopper painting, a study in urban loneliness. He wears his trousers too high on his waist. He uses too much hair tonic, smokes discount cigarettes. I explain that my wife and I devised a game we would play when driving the outskirts of south London, in which we work out where Novotny would most like to live. So we place him in that impersonal block of flats out by the A20, or eating egg and chips inside some sad greasy spoon. Novotny, of course, does not exist - we made him up - yet the uncomfortable truth is that he's the alternative me. He asks nothing of anyone and gives nothing in return.

All at once, I can see it clearly. "If I had taken a different route out of all this, I'd be Miroslav Novotny," I say. "And I'm glad I'm not. But there's a certain comfort in being Miroslav Novotny."

Marshall nods. He says, "Life is small but it's safe." And I nod back in relief, because that's it exactly.

Did I have a midlife crisis, I ask Marshall.

"Yes, you did." He adds that it is not always advisable to throw absolutely everything in the air, as I seem to have done. But that's by the by. Stable door, horse bolted. "You have been through it and navigated it and have had a reasonably soft landing."

He asks if I have any further questions. So I ask whether he sees the midlife crisis as a peculiarly first-world problem, a kind of luxury accessory afforded to those with too much time on their hands. I'm not sure you have one if you're under siege in Aleppo.

Marshall has his doubts. "It's not a case of having too much time on your hands," he insists. "It comes with a great mallet and hits you over the head. So I think it's something intrinsic in mankind. The first world-third world distinction is the wrong idea."

My second question is more personal: I ask if he believes it's possible to be both horribly anxious and basically happy, because that's how I've been feeling for the past year or so.

"Yes, I think you can," he answers. "But if we were to continue working together, the anxiety is something we would be looking at. I think that anxiety and anger could be the keynotes for you."

If you've done the work of the middle passage, then you're in a very good place, the sunny uplands of life

He is keen to accentuate the positive, though. "It sounds to me like you have completely transformed your life. You've gone from closed to open. From work focused to family focused. From self-sufficient to more connected. From the small world of...

"Miroslav Novotny."

"From the small world of Miroslav Novotny to the larger world of family and children and a new city. But the anxiety is something I would be working on. Anxiety and depression are like brother and sister."

I walk back to the tube in something of a daze. I feel as though I've spent the past 90 minutes being dangled upside down by the ankles, watching all the detritus falling from my pockets. Some of this clutter was harmless ephemera, but other bits were jagged and rusted. Some were foul-smelling, some smeared with dried blood. With them gone, I feel lighter.

***

One month later, I meet Marshall again, this time in a bookshop above a cafe. It's late August, and the therapist is on holiday. He's bare-kneed in tan shorts, with a natty straw hat perched on his pink scalp, a copy of Graham Swift's Waterland parked in the crook of one arm. Seeing him here is slightly disconcerting, like bumping into a teacher away from school.

He asks how I've been and I assure him I'm fine. I tell him, in fact, that I've been suspiciously fine. I've started to wonder whether the session itself was a kind of quick fix. I worry I painted myself in too positive a light; I worry he moved too quickly to endorse my depiction. This would normally be about a six-month process. We went through it in about 90 minutes flat.

"Well, yes," Marshall agrees. "It's not the best way of doing it, so you have to be careful. I mean, if I had been aware of some really horrible stuff, I would have skated over it, because I don't want to open up that can of worms. If we saw there was a total car crash in the wings, I might well have acknowledged it - but I wouldn't go up and peer through the window.

"But, happily, there wasn't. And even if there was, I had the sense you'd come through it relatively unscathed."

I feel I've made peace with my crisis, but what comes next? I want to know what other hurdles I'm going to face in my 50s, to steer clear of more trouble, if I can.

But the therapist grins. He's in holiday mode. "What comes next? Well, wonderful times. If you've done the work of the middle passage, then you're in a very good place, the sunny uplands of life. The next question is not what gives your life meaning, but what gives meaning to everyone's life. It's a more spiritual inquiry: the self versus the infinite." Another grin. "I'm not even sure whether therapy is the right place to answer those questions. You may need to roll up your sleeves and go and do it yourself."

The house where I now live is perched high on a hill, a steep 15-minute climb from the nearest train station. I try to make this journey on foot as often as I can (if I'm losing my hair, I figure I can at least shed some weight along with it). Sometimes I wonder how I must look to the motorists driving by. A sweaty, middle-aged man with a red face and bad posture, sometimes pushing hard at a buggy for added comedy value. The man is a wreck. Every step's an ordeal. But near the top of the hill, the road swings out from the shadows. The city drops away and the horizon is endless. And this, I decide, is my favourite part of the journey. One might almost be entering the sunny uplands of life, approaching a house that feels very nearly like home.

It's Not A Midlife Crisis, It's An Opportunity is published by Marshall Method Publishing at £12.99.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
'It hits you over the head': can I survive my midlife crisis?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
As a well-adjusted middle-aged man, I like to define myself by the things I don't have. I don't have a scarlet Lamborghini or a conspicuous tattoo or a 22-year-old girlfriend to jumpstart my libido. Nor do I possess a penchant for extreme sports or expensive psychotherapy.

# data[].attributes.body
an event in life that requires major adjustment and adaptive behaviour. Such events may be regarded in retrospect as unusually formative or pivotal in shaping attitudes and beliefs. Common critical life events include the death of a loved one, divorce, and unemployment. (APA American Psychological Society)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Psychology Concepts: Stress As A Psychological Process

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
I had a conversation with a politically radical, highly educated middle-class woman the other day in which I was faintly taken aback to discover that although I had grown up in a working-class background, with no money, no cultural capital, no university degree and non-existent parental expectations, she considered me to have had the more privileged upbringing.

The reason was simple. I am male and she is female, ergo the privilege is objective and inescapable. Her identity as a woman is deeply entangled in wider power relationships that, for her, are as straightforwardly factual as that of socioeconomic class.

Identity is crucial with regards to how you perceive the world and how you are perceived - and thus, this woman would say, more powerful than simple economics, as it is power played out inside the head.

So, if having a label stuck on you (or sticking a label on yourself) has a fundamental effect on your consciousness, what does it mean to see your identity as - or be defined as - a parent?
Does parenthood make you more sexist - or just more confused? | Tim Lott
People who go from being non-parents to parents undergo a seismic identity shift. Not only have they seen their selves merged into another self in the creation of their children - and hopefully into an enduring relationship - but they have also seen their sense of self revised by the appearance of offspring in the taking on of a new role/identity - that of parent.

The arrival of parenthood is bound up with identity at the deepest level. Personal freedom gives way to responsibility. Self-love gives way to other love. Traditionally, for men particularly, the archaic but still active idea of the heroic, ego-driven, priapic swashbuckler gives way to the mundane domestic breadwinner and part-time skivvy. For many women, it's similar - the career and self are put on hold. Only for them, the skivvying often becomes full time.

Becoming a parent tends to be invisible in the sort of sociological terms in which the middle-class woman was inclined to frame things (though such matters are acknowledged in feminism through the idea of the personal being political). But I can think of no greater identity issue we go through as human beings. Of course, you can choose to be a parent, whereas you can't choose your race or sexual orientation or gender (um, I think).

Whatever it represents in terms of formal, institutional and economic power, it means a great deal in terms of private power. A parent of any race or gender may find their sense of self disappear under a tsunami of childrearing tasks. Any privileged position that either parent previously held - perhaps via sexuality, money, glamour or power - is transformed.

Identities don't only confine and define marginal groups. They operate at all levels for all people at all times. The journey of the self is lifelong, and a mixture of objective and subjective factors in proportions that cannot be estimated. I may be white and I may be male and I may (now) be middle class, but I am absolutely not the person I used to be, and I am not the person I will be five years from now.

Identity is never fixed. And in a way the woman was right - identity is more important than class. Because how you think about yourself - and how you are allowed to think about yourself - can be more important than your economic status and position in society.

Being a parent is the most radical and important identity I have worn - yet embodying the paradox that it has also been the most disempowering. This, perhaps, is the problem with a feminist analysis based on power relations and social identities. It puts simple power at the heart of everything - whereas people, with all their complexity, are that heart. But then, perhaps as an old, privileged white man, I would say that.
@timlottwriter Topics

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Becoming a parent is the greatest identity change we go through

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
I had a conversation with a politically radical, highly educated middle-class woman the other day in which I was faintly taken aback to discover that although I had grown up in a working-class background, with no money, no cultural capital, no university degree and non-existent parental expectations, she considered me to have had the more privileged upbringing.

# data[].attributes.headline
Is it the same for the Millennial Generation hitting adulthood?

# data[].attributes.subject
Is it the same for the Millennial Generation hitting adulthood?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Do you remember when you were young enough to say: "When I grow up I want to ... have a house with a garden/be a vet/fly to space/get married?" It was a lighthearted conversation encouraged by older generations to inspire ambition. But now you've grown up, how many of the more moderate goals have you achieved? And how many have you filed under "unobtainable"?

Young adults' incomes are now as much as 20% below the national average, as revealed by a Guardian investigation this week. Low incomes, coupled with rising living costs, debt and a lack of employment mean that some of us are not only unlikely to fulfil our more inventive childhood fantasies, but will fail to meet even the basic milestones of adulthood: a full-time permanent job, a life partner, a home, a pension and earning enough every month to put something into a savings account.

Here Guardian readers share their experiences of missing milestones.

1. Living alone, or owning a home

I worry that I will never be able to afford stable, secure housing as a single person on a low income who works in London. This week I learned that my landlord is putting the rent up by 20% in the house-share I share with three other people. I already pay half my monthly income just to live in this house-share. There is nowhere in London I could afford to rent a place on my own on my income, not even in zone 6 (and even if I found a studio flat I could just about afford on the outskirts of London, commuting costs would then tip it back into unaffordability). Will my only choice be to endure the stress of a constantly rotating stream of housemates, moving house every time a landlord decides to spike the rent or sell? Since moving to London five years ago to find work, I have already lived in five different flats and had 16 different housemates. I don't care about owning property, I just want some stability. The only way I could potentially afford to move to a one-bedroom flat is if I was in a position to cohabit with a partner, but I'm currently single and that really doesn't feel within my control. If it did happen I would like it not to be driven by economic compulsion." - Catherine, 30, London

That I will never be able to provide a home for my two children. I work three jobs and I earn quite a lot of money - above the national average. But on a single income, I can't get a mortgage for a two-bed flat. I need to stay near London where my work is and the children's father lives. I want to have a stable affordable home for my children, but that seems increasingly out of reach. Each time I get a better-paid job, the housing market jumps further out of reach. I did all the things we were told to do - I went to a top university and graduated with a good degree. I have trained and upskilled and taken every opportunity possible. I am well-paid and in secure employment, but on a single income, housing is my nightmare." - Jane, 29, Essex

I gave up long ago the dream of owning my own home and realise I will never be able to decorate where I live and have my own furnishings. It is also stressful to realise that I will always be competing with others for the best-value places to rent, as others will be in the same situation. The fact that I've not been able to afford enough driving lessons to get to pass my test, so far, limits my choice, as I have to rent somewhere that is walking distance to the hospital where I work, as public transport is not available on some of the days I need to work. Inevitably this means my rent costs will be high, even though I gave up the idea of being closer to my parents and other family members in the south-east. Having to rent does stop you making changes that would help you save costs, for example my studio flat has poor insulation and only an electric heater, so the electricity costs are higher than I would like." - Kirsty, 26, Nottingham

2. Finding a long-term partner, and living together

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

Party time at the Dalston Superstore club in Hackney, London. Photograph: Alamy

The idea of having a stable relationship and building a family any time soon seems like a very distant dream due to the geographical mobility I have had to have to get my career to this point. By all measures I had things much better than my parents did up until I was about 22 years old. However, a few years down the line and I cannot help but think I'm now falling behind their generation. The house that they bought when they were my age is far beyond my financial reach despite me having a better-paid job than they had. Saving for a deposit is near impossible while paying extortionate rents for barely habitable flatshares. I have to ask myself, after trying to do the 'right' thing throughout my teens and early 20s (study hard, get a career, travel and broaden your mind), is it ever really going to pay off?" - Ben, 27, Southampton

Through a combination of a frugal lifestyle and family support, I'm now in a position to buy my own home, and yet I'm stalling. I've gotten comfortable with shared living, and I dread the thought of returning to an empty house every night. My job takes up a lot of my time, and while I've made some good friends through work it's not the sort of environment where I'm likely to meet anyone special. In the short term I can replace these interactions, but I dread the hard landing of finding myself alone at Christmas, the awkwardness of explaining why I'm not going on holiday this year. I have no one to go with, no one to be with, and I hate it. I had relationships at university, but nothing stuck. Since moving to a new city I've just not made those connections and now I've been single so long the idea of dating is terrifying." - Jonathan, 28, Manchester

I rarely see this 'millennial worry' mentioned. I've done very well for myself, worked hard, have an excellent job and even managed to buy a property with a little help from my family. This has been at the expense of my personal relationships though, and I'm moving into a stage of life where there is no slack that can be picked up by a partner in the home. I am the only person cooking, cleaning, taking care of the bills, etc. and it is exhausting. Even finding time to date and rectify the situation is exhausting. I've had to be upfront and say on Tinder that I'm a workaholic to explain why I frequently cancel dates. I remember in the late 80s and early 90s there was a stereotype on TV of the successful career woman with an unfulfilling home life. My home life isn't unfulfilling, I date and have friends and mostly enjoy myself, but it feels as though my work etc. expect me to have a partner who'll do things like make me dinner when I've been working for 12 hours straight. As it is, the takeout drivers know me very well."

3. Working in a full-time, permanent job

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

Office workers during the morning rush-hour in Southwark in central London. Photograph: Toby Melville/Reuters

Job instability is my greatest worry. I used to say I hoped to own a small house of my own with a small garden, in a small town with a train station - and I can't see even that much happening now. At the moment, I'm working on a freelance and casual basis, while volunteering on the side to increase my skillset. This is the way jobs in my sector are going, but as soon as I can I'll want to get at least a part-time permanent job to support my other work - but I don't know when that'll happen. My parents were already married with a house by this point. I'm very fortunate that they are allowing me to live at home at the moment, or I don't know how I'd manage." - Caroline, 23, Kent

I'm lucky to have a decent job, but I've never had a contract that lasts longer than a year as they've always been fixed term. I think this means there's little investment in me as an employee because they know I won't be around for long. After about eight months I have to start thinking about applying for jobs, which is such a soul-destroying and confidence-sucking process. Until today though, I don't think I'd realised just how precarious my existence is; I went to the dentist and I need to get three fillings. I don't actually think I can afford them. As with many of the other people sharing their stories here, I don't have a savings safety net. If I lost my job or something went wrong I wouldn't be able to last a month without having to ask my parents for help." - Faye, 25, Oxford

On one side, I have the people I knew while growing up becoming shelf-stackers and mailmen, telling me I won't make it. On the other hand, university friends becoming solicitors, bankers and civil servants, telling me I can and I have no idea who to believe. However, there's one distinction: the ones being successful either come from established professional families who guided them or they had a lucky break. I have had neither. At this point I'm tired, all I want is an office job, any office job. After all of that, I'll see my friends and family and if they ask, everything is going well. I keep my mouth shut and I keep trying, but at the end of every day before going to bed, I lie there staring at the ceiling, thinking 'What am I doing?'" - Julius, 24, London

My biggest worry is never having a permanent job. Since graduating from university in 2014, I have gone from six-month contract to six-month contract, with a period of unemployment in the middle. I now have a slightly more secure job with an 18-month contract, but how am I even going to get a phone on contract or sign a lease on a flat if I don't know if I'll have a job in two years? I still live at home, and at 23, I've managed to accrue lots of belongings that my childhood bedroom is simply too small for. I yearn to escape and begin my adult life, but I feel like a reluctant Peter Pan." - Lauren, 23, Glasgow

4. Having children

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

Starting a family is becoming an unaffordable ambition for some young people. Photograph: Cultura Creative/Alamy

I want a family but don't see how I'll ever be able to afford one. I can't even afford a one-bed flat! I don't have family to help me with that, so after the end of full maternity pay childcare would be more than my income. I hate that as a woman I'm so preoccupied with this, but there is an actual fixed time period in which I can do this and it's looking like I won't be able to. We need women my age to have kids. We need there to be a future generation. But how?" - Kat, 27, London

I worry how on earth I will afford to have the children I so desperately want while still progressing my career and having a stable place to live. As a woman, of course, I have a limited time frame to have children - but I don't see how it's possible to save enough to support a family in the next few years. I was always told that if I worked hard at school and university I would be able to get a good job with a good salary and have a good career. But it took me three years after graduating of internships and volunteering to get the experience all starting jobs seemed to require before I finally got on the first rung of the career ladder: an extremely high-pressured job for a charity in London that paid £18,000 a year. I was led to believe that my starting salary upon graduating at 21 would be around £22,000! Now, at the age of 29, I'm finally on a salary that enables me to start saving - but I don't feel I have enough time to save enough to have children. And buying a house? Forget it!" - Ellie, 29, London

5. Saving for the future

Facebook Twitter Pinterest

Student debt is a big worry for many graduates. Photograph: Alamy

My biggest worry is never being able to get out of the debt I've got myself into. I dropped out of university within six weeks of my course starting due to a mental health issue for which I got no support. I was unemployed for a year after, feeling as though I'd never get a job after getting rejection upon rejection, all down to my lack of experience. I couldn't get out of my accommodation contract, meaning I went well into my overdraft, which fortunately I was not charged interest on, and I left it six months before I finally started 'on the dole' as I really didn't want to have to rely on JSA [jobseeker's allowance] and was worried I'd end up lost in the system. I've been in my current job for 18 months, but I'm not earning enough to get out of the hole I'm in. I probably won't be for some time to come and my overdraft ceases to be interest-free come the summer." - Jason, 21, Doncaster

I worry that everyone else has more savings than me even though I feel like I save harder than anyone I know. It took me two years to land a proper job after graduating from university in 2010, and because of the competitive and exploitative industry I work in, I've only just started to be paid over £20,000 a year (although I now live in London, which makes up for the difference). Despite all this, I have managed to save £5,000. But I worry that it's not enough, or anywhere near as much as I should have by this age." - Laura, 27, London

I suppose my main worry is money, always being in debt and never having the feeling of being safe and secure, with some savings behind me. I am fortunate to have a career I love and am unlikely to find it difficult to find work - I'm a nurse. However, I do not get enough money to fund my living costs and clear my overdraft debt, let alone fund anything that will develop my quality of life. It is only a £1,500 overdraft, but it would just be nice not to have one and open up a savings account instead. I end up having a positive bank balance only for a short time each month as rent and other costs put me straight back into my overdraft. Once we rent somewhere together it may save some costs, but I can still imagine it will be difficult to clear my debt." - Kirsty, 26, Nottingham
Topics

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Five markers of adulthood millennials have had to give up on

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Do you remember when you were young enough to say: "When I grow up I want to ... have a house with a garden/be a vet/fly to space/get married?" It was a lighthearted conversation encouraged by older generations to inspire ambition. But now you've grown up, how many of the more moderate goals have you achieved?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development Explained

# data[].attributes.headline
Further resourses on Erikson's 8 Stages of Development

# data[].attributes.subject
Further resourses on Erikson's 8 Stages of Development

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Human Development: Erikson's Life Stages

# data[].attributes.body
Erikson - Stage 6

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Psyc2400 Ch 09 Erikson on Intimacy vs  Isolation

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Uploaded by Marie Coppola on 2013-10-24.