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You write, "Love can easily blindside a person into action only in the interest of others; once this becomes a priority, it creates grounds for them to resent those they are tending to.  …[L]ove becomes a weapon and tactic of manipulation when people forget to prioritize themselves.

It sounds then, that this falls out of an account of love.  That is, it sounds as though what you are describing is a kind of arrogant perception or something else that is “called” love that is not actually love (see: Lugones and Diotima’s account of love in the Symposium).

I like that you're offering an exploration of love as "not perfect" but it does sound as though you are exploring what Lugones describes as failures of/to love are not actually love. When Lugones is describing failures of love she is pointing, not to the ways in which love is imperfect, but the ways in which what we call "love" are actually deeply embedded failures to love.

Your project would have been significantly strengthened by a bit more analysis.  This would have moved your choices of text from summary to clearly articulated support.  This would have been especially useful to you with regard to your inclusion of the Walker, Salami, and Lugones.  These pieces when read together, suggest that what you've chosen to highlight in the Baldwin and the hooks are failures to love.  These examples of failures to love appear to be situated in contrast to the Walker, Salami, and Lugones (examples of love).  So, your claim about the possibilities of love in conflict is undercut by these early examples of what I read as failures to love (so not love at all).

What your piece needed was a way of demonstrating through analysis that Baldwin's account of the church and hooks' account of cynicism were examples of love just like Walker, Salami, and Lugones rather than examples of failures to love. This could have been achieved had you analyzed these texts through (your answers to) the guiding questions.

Overall though, I really appreciate the work you've done in this project to clearly summarize the texts and situate them in your thought.

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However, world-traveling is not always productive. As Posi brings up in her L in RT for week 12, world-traveling can be synonymous with code-switching. This is, in fact, a survival tactic, and some might consider it regressive for us to praise code-switching instead of acknowledging it as a product of fear. It is not always necessary to be conflict-averse when your beliefs are brought into question by another.

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In my Love in Real Time post for week five, I chose an Instagram comment chain from a transphobic man and a trans female. The woman responds to his blatant hatred with, "my friend... you are hurting. you mistake your amour as an identity and your pain as a personality...you resent me because I live what you fear, I love you because I have no fear."

This comment perfectly demonstrates how one can utilize love to disarm hate. The woman is unconcerned with the commenter's opinion because of how much she loves herself. Conflict often stems from insecurity or a need for validation, but a person cannot receive more reassuring validation from anyone else but themselves. She effortlessly fights back with kindness and compassion despite the commenter's ignorance, showing that engaging in the conflict would be counter-productive to the journey she has taken with herself.

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in Mia's Love in Real Time post for week five, she talked about Selena Gomez's "Lose You to Love Me", a heartfelt song about separating from a partner for the betterment of the individuals.  Gomez talks about needing to step away from a relationship in order to realize the absence of self-love in her life, and though the departure is sad, it takes strength and bravery to step away when you can reciprocate the same love for yourself. This relationship could have turned rocky without her intervention; her feelings for her partner might have faded and turned to resentment for them, despite the root of the conflict being her lack of love for herself. Audra Lorde writes, “for as we begin to recognize our deepest feelings, we begin to give up...being satisfied with suffering and self-negation,” and Gomez uses her lyrics to highlight the importance of not choosing complacency. By doing this, she is ultimately preventing further conflict and allowing herself the space to heal her own heart first.

Lorde, Audra. 1984. “The Uses of the Erotic”. Sister Outsider. The Crossing Press.

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Self-love: a tool for disarming yourself in the face of conflict

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Self-love: a tool for disarming yourself in the face of conflict

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In this piece, Lugones, like Salami, discusses another commonly employed method for black feminists combatting injustice. Her term "world-traveling" is self-explanatory, concerning the act of traveling to multiple other "worlds" in order to promote cultural appreciation. However, this act requires a heightened level of curiosity from the traveler; they need to be interested in observing as an outsider rather than conquering and reshaping the culture from the inside.

Acting upon the latter can create conflict on a large scale. "Arrogant perception" can get in the way of cultural sharing and can further deepen the divide between people who see themselves differently from their neighbors. World traveling, however, distinguishes the difference between intruders and enthusiasts; only conflict-averse, appreciative people can partake in the traveling, and only those willing to accept their curiosity can be eager hosts.

Lugones, María. “Playfulness, ‘World’-Travelling, and Loving Perception.” Hypatia, vol. 2, no. 2

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In this piece, Salami discusses the function of sensuous knowledge as a survival tool for black feminists. The term itself involves the consideration of multiple perspectives to further inform your own personal view of the world, and for black women, this is essential.

Sensuous knowledge requires passivity and empathy; without the two, there would be no way to comprehend the experiences of another. Thus, practicing sensuous knowledge is a defense mechanism to combat conflict. It ensures that a person is thinking of another before they assert themselves in any way--it is an act of love. Salami discusses race in her piece, but sensuous knowledge can be used to combat a plethora of social debates, such as gender identity, class, or sexuality.

Salami, Minna. "Sensuous Knowledge: A Black Feminist Approach for Everyone." Harper Collins Publishers, 2020.

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In this piece, hooks honors the concept of love and shares how it has affected her life. She is appreciative of the fact that she found love eventually, as its absence was what "let [her] know how much love mattered" (hooks, ix). She notes a societal cynicism surrounding love that is perpetuated by younger generations, suggesting that fear fuels their desire to slander the ideas of affection and romantic connection.

hooks worries that this cynicism will ultimately dilute the power of love; those who wish to remain unaffected by love will completely isolate themselves from experiencing love. Even without the isolation, these cynics are willing to belittle the hopeless romantics for their naive trust. This discourse can make love dangerous, and those who are not open to having conversations about the potential of love in their relationships will become defensive, closed-off, and maybe even hurtful to the other. Because so many are afraid of the vulnerability that surfaces through genuine connection, that fear creates tension and separation between lovers who accept and/or reject vulnerability. hooks doesn't fully blame the cynics for this perception, however; the notion of the male fantasy has also perpetuated a loveless culture, as it puts female-identifying people in conflict with male-identifying people who prioritize their pleasure over their partner's. Still, she fears that society grapples with the meaning and significance of love too much, almost to the point of destruction.

Hooks, Bell. 2000. “Preface”. all about love: new visions. William Morrow and Company (xvii-xviii)

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James Baldwin: "Down at the Cross: Letter from a Region in My Mind"

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James Baldwin: "Down at the Cross: Letter from a Region in My Mind"

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In this piece, Baldwin discusses his complicated relationship with religion growing up as a black man. He started devoting time to his Christian God once he began to understand what fear was and how it affected his adolescence. Eventually, he used religion to combat the expectations society placed onto him as a black man, proving to both bystanders and himself that believing in something good could provide him salvation. Even if he wasn't sold on Christianity, Baldwin needed something to love in order to distract from the image of violence projected onto him.

A significant portion of this letter focuses on Baldwin's relationship with God. When he first started to fully accept his faith, he learned to view God as an embodiment of love, which heightened his observations concerning the lack of love being shown for black people. This is a conflict in itself; thinking that your religion prefers another person over you simply because of genetics. Faith can be fueled by love, but that love stems from wanting to love someone (or something) other than yourself. When you struggle with adolescent insecurity, religion is comforting; you can find solace in the idea that a higher power is looking out for you. But when the events you see in the news and in your neighborhood don't reflect the endless love of a deity, doubt rushes in. Love, therefore, is fueling this conflict. Too much love dedicated to oneself can limit a person's functionality, yet too much love dedicated to another can fuel self-hatred, a disdain for others, or a desire to disassociate with faithfulness entirely.

Baldwin, James. 1963. “Down at the Cross: Letter from a Region in My Mind”. The Fire Next Time. Random House, inc.

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Alice Walker, "Definition of a Womanist":

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Alice Walker, "Definition of a Womanist":

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In this short and poetic piece, Walker details her reclaiming of "womanish" as an insult by claiming and defining the term "womanist", a powerful, appreciative, and self-satisfied black feminist. She deems her mature, wise, and worthy of success, but also free-spirited, "historically anti-racist", and, above all, loving.

Walker uses love as a way to disintegrate hate, suggesting that a womanist's love for "the folk" contributes to her natural beauty. Thus, she suggests that treating your enemies with love will minimize the arbitrary ideas that keep society segregated. But still, she instructs her audience to love themselves first, to embrace the beautiful and the ugly that comes with wearing the title of a womanist. This emphasis on self-love promotes a conflict-averse lifestyle, focusing on the beauty of nature, community, and inner peace rather than on acts of self-defense. To defend oneself against the perceptions of others is to prepare for battle constantly, and to Walker, life is not always a battle, even when you are marginalized. She asks us to restructure our views of society while simultaneously asking society to accept womanism as sacred, a quality that only a select few can possess. In this compromise, conflict dissipates while understanding, empathy, and compassion emerge.

Walker, Alice. In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens: Womanist Prose. San Diego: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1984. Print.

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Love and cynicism: creating a weapon out of affection

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Love and cynicism: creating a weapon out of affection

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Love and religion: a conflict prone combination?

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Love and religion: a conflict prone combination?

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Combatting conflict with love for others

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Combatting conflict with love for others

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If the idea of love inspires and fuels many other emotions and actions, then love itself cannot be entirely perfect. There has to be ways in which love inhibits, prohibits, and completely ruins relationships by inspiring conflict. How does love exist within a conflict, and if love is fueling a dispute, is it accurate to call it love?

Love and conflict constantly exist both because of each other and in spite of each other. Eventually, if conflict prevails, we may lose sight of the power of love. Love has the power to erase, inspire, and further fuel a conflict between two or more people, but there are tactics that we can employ in our discussions that will preserve love.

The five authors of the chosen readings demonstrate different understandings of how love exists within their lives, whether through religion, the media, or in their own personal development.

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Love makes self-growth possible, but it can make you lose self-control

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Love makes self-growth possible, but it can make you lose self-control

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Without love, there is no ambition. Possibilities are made possible with love; expectations are flexible with love; rules are not as stringent with love. Love guides you to do what you feel is right in any circumstances; therefore, love helps you learn yourself in ways no one else could learn.

Even so, it can become dangerous to allow love to fuel your every move without paying respect to what you need as an individual. Love can easily blindside a person into acting only in the interest of others; once this becomes a priority, it creates grounds for them to resent those they are tending to. Though this is not necessarily the fault of the object(s) of affection, love becomes a weapon and a tactic of manipulation when people forget to prioritize themselves.

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I believe, because love manifests itself in so many different ways, we can't help but use love to fuel everything we do, even when it's fueling our hate.

The discovery of the erotic should be a journey rather than a debate of necessity. Everyone possesses an erotic, but not everyone will come to realize that. Understanding the erotic comes with time, self-awareness, and a willingness to seek love. Still, if love isn't sought, we end up giving more credence to hate in moments of distress. Perhaps our distress is caused by loving too much, giving too much of our love to an unreceptive person, or not understanding how our love is taking over our subconscious. Having a love for something does not always result in a heartwarming feeling of content; rather, pure love can lead to unexpected, unwarranted exchanges or acts.

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As I wrote in my first imPROMPTu write: "I believe love is an essential feature of life because of how much it fuels: passion, interaction, sociological behavior, etc. In the absence of love (or passion, or motivation, etc) there is apathy; with an apathetic approach to life, people often turn to cynicism or gloom because it is an easy mindset to resort to when looking at the tragedy we face in everyday life"

Love manifests itself through many different actions, languages, and thoughts. Love itself creates abundance and motivates the intrinsic erotic within each of us. Though love means something different to us all, the erotic can mold the intensity of our relationships with others depending on how deeply we feel for their bodies, their opinions, or their energy.