# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
We’re Mind, the mental health charity | Mind

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
NHS urgent mental health helplines are for people of all ages in England.

You can call for:

24-hour advice and support for you, your child, your parent or someone you care for

help speaking to a mental health professional

an assessment to find the right care for you

You may need urgent help for many reasons.

The important thing to know is you will not be wasting anyone's time.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Mental Health Helpline for Urgent Help - NHS

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Find NHS urgent mental health helplines for people of all ages. Call for 24-hour support from a local service to help you with a mental health emergency.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Support for mums and families | Maternal Mental Health Alliance

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
© Maternal Mental Health Alliance 2023. Maternal Mental Health Alliance is a charitable Incorporated Organisation (CIO) registered in England and Wales No. 1178152. Registered address International House, 12 Constance Street, London E16 2DQ.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Parenting is tricky at the best of times, but parenting in a blended family comes with its own unique set of challenges.

It's very easy for roles to get confused. Are you a parent or friend to your new step children? How involved should you get in discipline? And what about your own children? How do you make sure they feel secure and loved?

It can be very stressful trying to negotiate what can often seem like totally foreign territory, but try not to panic. As long as you and your partner work together and communicate effectively along the way, there's no reason why your blended family can't be as happy and harmonious as any other.

Adjusting to parenting in a blended family

If you're finding it tricky getting used to your new situation, you may find the following tips useful.

Don't force things. It isn't a good idea to try to make your children like your partner. They may need a little time and space before they're ready to come to terms with their new circumstances, so try to provide this. Progression in situations like these is often gradual: you can't necessarily expect it to happen overnight.

If you have your own children, make time for them. They may be feeling anxious about their roles in the new family and worried about not being as important as they used to be. Having special bonding time with them can help them to feel secure and loved. Try to do something you all enjoy together once a week or so - it could be simple as watching a movie or going for a walk.

Reassure them about any step-brothers or sisters. It's important to address any anxieties your kids might have about new children coming with your new relationship: be these from your partner's existing family or a new baby. Let them know that, although the other children are an important part of their new family, they aren't being replaced and they're still as important to you as they ever were.

When it comes to discipline, be cautious. Discipline can be one of the trickiest aspects of being in a blended family. As a general rule, try not to assert yourself too quickly. It's not a good idea to try to take over parenting duties if you're a step parent: this will likely cause tension. Instead, agree on a number of ground rules with your new partner when it comes to discipline and make sure you're there to back them up if needed.

Remain a parent to your own children. It's important for your kids to see that you haven't given up control of their lives to your new partner. They will still need you to represent an independent presence in their lives - after all, it's still you who knows how to look after them best. These kinds of negotiations may develop over time, but this will only be once everybody is much more used to the new situation.

Need further support?

If you need more help getting used to the challenges of living in a blended family, you might find the following useful:

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The challenges of living in a 'blended family'

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Parenting is tricky at the best of times, but parenting in a blended family comes with its own unique set of challenges. It's very easy for roles to get confused. Are you a parent or friend to your new step children? How involved should you get in discipline?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Parental-Healthcare-Decisions-Dealing-with-Healthcare-Professionals

About this guidance

This guidance is written for parents who experience disrespect from one or more healthcare professional (your doctor or health visitor, a nurse or midwife, a receptionist at a practice etc) because of their parental healthcare decisions. It lays out how parents should, in our view, handle such a situation. As each situation is different, we can only put in general terms how to respond to most common scenarios and how Consent can help.

EVERYTHING IN THIS DOCUMENT ASSUMES THAT YOU ARE BEING REASONABLE IN YOUR DECISION AND THAT YOU ARE YOURSELF ACTING IN A RESPECTFUL WAY.

Content

* Are you being reasonable to go against medical advice?
* What guidelines govern your healthcare providers conduct?
* How to respond to disrespectful professionals
* Threats of de-registration
* Threats of informing social services
* Should you complain?
* How to complain

Are you being reasonable to act against medical advice?

While it is difficult to generalise, in most cases the following examples are reasonable healthcare decisions you may be making on behalf of your child.

a) You have been prescribed medication for your child for a mild illness or as a precaution or in response to a vague or uncertain diagnosis and have decided not to give your child the medication.
b) You have been prescribed antibiotics for your child for a viral infection.
c) You don't want to give antipyretic drugs for a child's fever.
d) You decided to stop antibiotic medication when your child's symptoms subsided.
e) You have been recommended vaccinations which you do not want to give your child.
f) You are a breastfeeding mother and are being urged to stop and to switch to formula, based on your baby not gaining weight in line with national averages.
g) You are declining vitamin k after birth.

On the other hand you are in all likelihood not being reasonable if for example
a) you are refusing blood transfusion in an emergency
b) your child has been diagnosed with a serious infection (e.g. meningitis) where prompt medical intervention is essential and are refusing recommended treatment

What guidelines govern your healthcare providers conduct?

GMC (General Medical Council) Guidelines state very clearly that doctors have to respect patients' decisions.
Doctors have to listen to you and respect your views. They have to give you any relevant information you want or information they think you need, and they have to give it in a balanced way and without pressure. Part of this is to inform you about side-effects, complications and the possibility that a treatment won't work. A patient can refuse any recommended treatment even if the reason seems irrational to the doctor or for no reason at all. The GMC asks doctors to explain to you their concern and the possible consequences of your decision but they must do this without pressure. They also have to give you adequate time to make your decision.
Further, GMC guidelines require doctors to be polite and considerate.

The very first rule of the Nursing and Midwifery Council code is: treat people with kindness, respect and compassion
Nurses and midwives also have to recognise diversity and individual choice and uphold and respect people's human rights. Section 2 of the code highlights the need for respecting the varying degrees to which patients want to get involved with their healthcare decisions, including the right to refuse care or treatment. Section 4 states that nurses and midwives must "make sure that you get properly informed consent and document it before carrying out any action".

How to respond to disrespectful professionals

Disrespect is often subjective, so that the same behaviour will make one person feel harassed while another person shrugs it off. Bear this in mind in any interaction or communications with your healthcare professional. It may be better to say how you feel / felt (e.g. "I felt angry/stressed/harassed") than make accusations (e.g. "you harassed me"). They will quite naturally disagree with you and there is nothing to be gained by making them feel defensive.
It is also worth remembering that they didn't get up that morning with the intention of annoying a patient but instead got caught up in the situation because of the disagreement between you and them. Naturally this doesn't justify inappropriate behaviour but our approach is one which attempts to help both sides understand the other. Consider how many patients will benefit if you can remain calm and help the person you are dealing with see things more proportionally, so that they act in a more measured way next time. Put your points across or simply state that you will have to agree to disagree. They should respect this. You do not need to stay if they don't. Say that you will come back when everyone has calmed down. This may be appropriate in cases where you are being accused of being neglectful or harmful towards your child. If you decide to stay, you may want to remind them of the relevant code of conduct.

Threats of de-registration

In the UK you as the patient always have the right to "take your business elsewhere" when it comes to choosing your GP. The practice too has the right to stop seeing you. However, for them it's not as simple as it is for you.

The British Medical Associations says:
"Normally the sole criterion for removal should be an irretrievable breakdown of all or part of the patient-practice relationship, usually that between patient and doctor".

The practice has to give a warning and a reason. Refusal to follow medical advice is not an adequate reason. Usually deregistering a patient should only be done for aggressive behaviour and threats of violence. Doctors have to make a genuine effort to restore the relationship and consider alternatives.

If your GP practice is threatening to deregister you because of your parental healthcare decisions, and assuming you want to stay with them despite this, we may be able to help you by trying to point out that they are being unreasonable.
If they are determined to go ahead anyway, their justification is likely going to be a simple "breakdown of relationship" and there is in reality nothing you can do to stop them. You can complain (see below) but although the practice will face censure for inappropriately deregistering patients, only you can decide if it is worth your while. A successful complaint may make then think twice in the future.
Your NHS area team can find you a new GP.

Threats of informing social services

We have published separate guidance material about parental healthcare decisions and state intervention.

Anyone can report concerns about a child's welfare to social services and professionals often have a duty to do so. Whether or not your decisions justify such a referral is of course a matter of opinion but medical staff may well tell you that "we have to report you" if you don't change your mind. This can happen in some highly inappropriate cases, such as the use of preventative treatment for illness which may or may not affect your child in the future, treatment for a condition that isn't yet properly diagnosed or treatment which has a speculative benefit in your child's circumstances.

There is obviously little point arguing over any legal points involved with the medical staff who will in all likelihood know little about them, even if you do. Some parents experience sudden panic at the mentioning of social services. Seeing that ultimately they can apply to court to have children removed, this is a fear which any parent can understand. If you feel you can't remain calm or make a proper decision at that moment, ask for time.

You can go outside for a few minutes or tell them you will call in a few hours or the next day when everyone has calmed down. This should sound reasonable in all but the most dire emergency. You can also agree to an appointment for treatment even if you aren't sure yet that you will attend. You can then speak to a friend, return with someone to support you or contact Consent for advice.

Should you complain?

The view of Consent is that complaining about a healthcare professional is rarely going to get you the outcome you want. However, it can be the right thing to do in appropriate circumstances in order to encourage a change in culture and to help prevent similar cases in the future.

If you want to continue your patient relationship with a doctor, a practice, a hospital etc and you want the healthcare professionals to listen to you, then a complaint is not going to help. Consider expressing your disappointment in more reconciliatory ways. If, however, the relationship has already broken down and you intend to go elsewhere, then complaining about disrespectful behaviour may help send the right message to the professional concerned. Your aim should be to help other parents have a better experience in the future and to help the professional reassess their attitude.

How to complain

You can raise a concern about the conduct of a healthcare professional with their professional body. This effectively says that you do not believe their behaviour met the professional standards set for them.

To complain about the conduct of a doctor, go to:
https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns

To complain about the conduct of a nurse or midwife, go to:
https://www.nmc.org.uk/concerns-nurses-midwives/dealing-concerns/

Another route is to complain to the practice, the hospital or the relevant NHS body, such as NHS England. A good start will be to talk to your local Patient Advice and Liaison Service. If the NHS does not deal with the matter to your satisfaction, you can raise it with the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman.
If your complaint relates to NHS Wales, you can read more about how to complain here. If your complaint relates to NHS Scotland, you can read more about how to complain here. If your are in Northern Ireland, you can read more about how to complain here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Dealing with Healthcare Professionals | Parent | GP | Doctor

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Parental-Healthcare-Decisions-Dealing-with-Healthcare-Professionals About this guidance This guidance is written for parents who experience disrespect from one or more healthcare professional (your doctor or health visitor, a nurse or midwife, a receptionist at a practice etc) because of their parental healthcare decisions. It lays out how parents should, in our view, handle such a situation.

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/toddler-tantrums-and-tricky-behaviour/how-handle-sibling-jealousy-newborn-baby-10-tips

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The arrival of a new brother or sister can be unsettling for a toddler. After all they are used to having your undivided attention.

You might find that your toddler isn't as happy and excited about your new baby as you are. Some find it difficult to adjust while others accept the new arrival easily (NHS, 2018). Here's how to handle the jealousy...

1. Get your toddler involved

You could ask your toddler to pass you the bottle for a feed. You could see whether they will hold the cotton wool while you change their little brother or sister's nappies. You could even try to persuade them to entertain their sibling with songs in the back seat if they're upset in their car seat.

Your toddler will love having tasks and feel much more part of things. You will need to guide them as a child's interpretation of a situation may be inaccurate and you should be aware not to expect too much of them (ROSPA, 2018).

2. Put your toddler first sometimes

No matter how much you would normally go to your newborn first, a few occasions of putting your baby second can work wonders.

Try 'telling' the baby they'll have to wait to get their nappy changed while you get their older sibling's snack. You could put the baby on the play mat while you play dollhouse with their big brother or sister. Anything that shows them that right now, at this second, they are number one.

3. Acknowledge their point of view

Being 'in it together' with the occasional acknowledgement of their views can make a whole world of difference. Acknowledgements like 'Yeah, babies do cry a lot don't they?' or 'I bet you wish sometimes we could hang out alone' will let them know you get it.

Parents who develop open, participative communication with their children help their children to manage stress well. That helps them to develop resilience (Joseph Rowntree Foundation, 2007).

4. Be prepared for toddlers hitting or other aggression

Yep, however much you hate it, probably your toddler will at some point turn on their sibling. One study found 46% of children said they had been victims of sibling aggression, while 35.6% admitted they had been aggressive to their siblings (Tippett, 2014).

Toddlers might throw a toy at their sibling, pinch them or hit them. And you're likely to be tempted to shout at them. The thing is: that was kind of their aim. Instead, give your attention to making sure the baby is ok and then they'll think that was a waste of time and (hopefully) not bother again.

Positive parenting and good relationships within the family reduce levels of aggression. Yet harsh parenting is associated with increased levels of aggression (Tippett, 2014). You could try to encourage your eldest to talk about any anger or jealousy they feel towards their younger sibling. These are normal emotions and it is better for them to talk about them than to bottle them up (Wallace, 2016).

5. Don't compare your toddler with your newborn

Asking your older child why they can't be more like their baby brother or sister is unnecessary and unhelpful. Don't be tempted - even when you're tired and stressed out.

6. Stay alert with toddlers for a while when you have a newborn

Much as it would be lovely to be able to leave your children alone together and know they'd be fine, this is the real world. For a while, you'll have to be close to hand to know that your older child won't hurt your baby - even accidentally - when you're not there to monitor.

Children under the age of four are most at risk of an accident at home (Rospa, 2018). Many accidents are caused by horseplay, involving pushing, shoving and wrestling.

Other things to be careful about are heavy objects, such as furniture and televisions, being pushed or pulled over on to younger babies or children. Children might see sets of drawers as ideal climbing frames but they can pull over easily if unsecured. Children can also swallow, inhale or choke on items like small toys, peanuts and marbles (Rospa, 2018).

If your toddler begs to hold his new sibling, sit your toddler on the floor on a soft surface and help them to support the baby.

7. Get help with the baby so you can spend one-on-one time with your older child

Nothing can make your older child feel better about their feelings towards their sibling than hanging out with you and you alone. If you're breastfeeding and can't leave your newborn for long, even a quick trip to the park can make them feel they've got your undivided attention again.

The quality of the parent-child relationship at home can influence cognitive and socio-emotional outcomes for pre-school children (Department of Education, 2017).

8. Point out how much the baby likes their older sibling

Saying 'Look how much they love you' and 'They won't stop watching how good you are on your bike' will make your older child feel like they're really involved in making their younger sibling happy. Warm, authoritative and responsive parenting helps children to manage stress. By boosting their confidence they will respond better to the change in their lives (JRF, 2007).

9. Keep toddler routines as much as possible

Toddlers are creatures of habit. So if you can sling some clothes on and drag yourself to their usual music group, even in the early weeks, it will make a massive difference to how they feel. After all, this is a huge upheaval in their lives.

Try with the smaller stuff too, like reading them a bedtime story or eating your usual breakfast. Participation in routines like reading or storytelling are associated with higher social and emotional school readiness among preschool-age children (Munzi, 2014). Going to playgroup, visiting friends and telling a bedtime story might be difficult to organise in the first few weeks. But sticking to established routines will help reassure your toddler (NHS, 2018).

10. Remember that it won't last for ever

When young children are feeling jealous of baby siblings, it can feel like a phase that will never end. But - like them all - it will. And before you know it, they'll be best of mates (and ganging up on you). Remember too that both your baby and toddler are gaining socially and emotionally by having a sibling (Hughes, 2011).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
How to handle sibling jealousy with a newborn baby: 10 tips

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The arrival of a new brother or sister can be unsettling for a toddler. After all they are used to having your undivided attention. You might find that your toddler isn't as happy and excited about your new baby as you are. Some find it difficult to adjust while others accept the new arrival easily (NHS, 2018).

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Parenting with mental health problems

Parenting comes with lots of challenges, which can be even more difficult if you're dealing with mental health problems.

Not all children who live with someone with mental health problems will experience abuse or be affected negatively. In fact, many parents are able to give children safe and loving care.

But sometimes it does affect their ability to cope with family life. So it's important that parents and carers can find support when they need it.

What are mental health problems?

When we talk about mental health problems we mean conditions like:

anxiety disorders

bipolar disorder

depression

obsessive-compulsive disorder

personality disorders

post-traumatic stress disorder

schizophrenia.

This is not a complete list. There are many types of mental health problems, and if yours isn't listed, we're still here to support you.

How can mental health problems affect parenting?

Sometimes these conditions can affect a parent's ability to provide the care that children need. Parents or carers may:

have mood swings

find it difficult to recognise their children's needs

or struggle with keeping routines such as mealtimes, bedtimes and taking their children to school.

If you, or someone you know is struggling, there's support available.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Help and advice for parents and families living with mental health problems.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Sometimes as a new mum you may feel that no-one understands how you're feeling. But lots of mums will be feeling the same as you, so it can be helpful to talk to other new mums. This can help you find ways of coping, and remind you that you're not alone.

Remember, when looking for support online it's important to stay safe. Here are some questions to ask when looking at a peer support group:

Who is running the support group?

Can I find out if they have mental health first aid training?

Do they have knowledge of signposting routes for further support?

Does the group have guidelines? What are they?

Peer support groups should be clear about what they offer and should be happy to spend time discussing any questions you may have. The charity Mind has helpful pages about what peer support is and how to access it. If in doubt ask your midwife, health visitor, family nurse or GP.

There are lot of other ways to find support for your mental health. A directory of third sector services supporting mental health for women, babies and their families can be found here.

Remember that you're not alone - all of us struggle from time to time. And it's also important to remember you can still access support during this time. Talk to your midwife, health visitor, family nurse or GP if you're finding it all a bit much.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Being a new mum is an exciting time, but it certainly isn't easy. All new mums experience a mix of emotions and changes as they get used to life with a new baby. But there are lots of things you can do and support available to help you look after yourself.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Information on parenting rights, parental responsibility, adopting, fostering, co-parenting, fertility treatment and surrogacy for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) people.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Modern love story of two woman and their family.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
A national voluntary organisation and charity dedicated to supporting parents and their lesbian, gay, bisexual and Trans sons and daughters

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.supportstaffordshire.org.uk/organisation-directory/just-family-cic

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
What this organisation does

Just Family. CIC is a community led organisation to provide specialist Perinatal/Maternal/Parent Mental Well-Being support to families in Newcastle under Lyme, Stoke on Trent and the surrounding areas.

More information

Geographical areas covered

Newcastle Under Lyme, Staffordshire Moorlands, Stoke-on-Trent

Services provided

Health / Social Welfare, Childcare & Parenting, Carer Support

Perinatal/Maternal/Parent Mental Well-Being Support

Target groups

Children 5 - 12, People suffering from mental distress, Carers

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Just Family. CIC is a community led organisation to provide specialist Perinatal/Maternal/Parent Mental Well-Being support to families in Newcastle under Lyme, Stoke on Trent and the surrounding areas.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Ultimately, the solution to all behaviour problems that arise in the wake of the arrival of a new baby in the family is time. Until that time passes however, the following five steps can really help to reassure your child, which in turn will reduce their grief, frustration, confusion and hopefully their tricky behaviour eventually.

1. Understanding and Empathy
Remind yourself that your child is not jealous, they are grieving, and they are hurting. They are not being deliberately malicious. Their behaviour shows they are struggling and they need your help.

2. Recognition
Recognising your child's feelings and showing them that you understand how they feel can go a long way to resolving their behaviour. "It's so hard sometimes when the baby needs to feed so much isn't it? I miss our hugs, I bet you do too?" recognises the child's feelings, without them needing to verbalise them. It shows your child that you get it. You get them. That you're on the same team.

3. Communication
Encouraging your child to communicate their feelings with you in whatever way they can is very helpful. If they are older, then instigate conversations with them about their feelings, bedtime is a great time for this. If they are pre-verbal, then teaching some simple sign language can help to remove frustration. If they are verbal, but struggle to understand emotions, then make sure to read books explaining emotions, so that they can point out pictures or characters they feel are like them.

4. Connection
Ultimately connection is the key. Your child is mourning the relationship you once had and feeling pushed out by the new arrival. You need to appreciate what a huge deal this is to them and help them to feel connected with you again. Doing bedtime, without the baby, every night is a great first step. But sometimes children need more. An hour in the park together every Saturday morning, while the baby stays home with your partner, dad, friend or relative. Swimming together, without the baby every Sunday afternoon, something predictable, that occurs every week is the ideal. Once the baby is older, or you feel able to leave them for several hours at a time, then planning some special "mum and son/daughter days" is important. Ideally a whole day, if not a whole morning or afternoon together, while somebody else takes care of the baby, just enjoying each other's company, doing something fun together, can work miracles. This special day does however still need to be accompanied by the more frequent bedtimes and short park visits.

5. Patience and Persistence
Unfortunately, none of these techniques will work quickly. They require perseverance, patience and persistence. Don't expect results in days, perhaps not even weeks. Think in months. Having a new sibling is a big deal, it can't be adjusted to quickly. Often you will find different behaviours reoccur further down the line, even after a period of relative calm. This is normal and once again, they will pass. Eventually. In the meantime, the most important part of the puzzle is you. How you cope and react underpins everything.
The Second Baby Book is available as an e-book, paperback and audio book. p.s: Come and chat with me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram Or watch my videos on YouTube You can also sign up for my free parenting newsletter HERE.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
5 Ways to Reduce Tricky Behaviour From New Big Siblings

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Ultimately, the solution to all behaviour problems that arise in the wake of the arrival of a new baby in the family is time. Until that time passes however, the following five steps can really help to reassure your child, which in turn will reduce their grief, frustration, confusion and hopefully their tricky behaviour eventually.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Family structures are diverse and the number of two-mum families in the UK is growing every year. While resources and support for pregnant women who identify as LGBT+ are increasingly accessible, the 'other mother' can be overlooked.

Much of the information available for new parents is useful to all families. But it doesn't always take into account the specific questions that might face two women starting a family together. That's why I wrote this series of articles to support two-mum families:

These articles are for women who become mothers without being pregnant or giving birth. They are not guidelines, or instructions, but reflections on my experience that I hope will help you plan ahead for life as a family.

How might people view the 'other mother'?

In my experience, if you're a woman with a pregnant partner you might find people define you by the things you are not. You're not pregnant, not giving birth and not becoming a new father. Yet your role is more than that of a birth partner who supports the birth mother, because you are about to become a parent too.

Who am I?

I'm the mother of three children, ranging in age from three years to eight weeks. My wife gave birth to all of our children who were conceived via reciprocal IVF, that is, using my eggs.

As a parent in a two-mum family, I've learnt some lessons about how to deal with intrusive questions. I've also learnt how to manage awkward conversations, and most of all, how to shape family life around the things that matter to us.

I'm writing these articles not because I have all the answers (if only) but because I hope they will be of use to others going through similar experiences.

What can you expect from NCT?

All parents-to-be worry about how life will change after their baby is born. Will you cope with sleepless nights? How will the baby change your relationship?

Through their classes, branch events, support line and website, NCT offers support and information that many families depend on. This is why it is so important that all families see themselves represented through their website, classes and support.

These articles create a space for non-birth mothers to think through their role. How can you support your partner during pregnancy and birth? How can you both prepare, practically and emotionally, for life as new mums?

Antenatal classes

Antenatal classes offer a great opportunity to make new friends and learn useful skills alongside other new parents. Unfortunately, some same-sex couples can feel anxious about joining a group, worried that they might face discrimination, or be made to feel different from the other parents in the group.

All parents can expect to be included and feel welcomed at NCT classes. If you feel nervous about joining a group, you might like to talk to the antenatal teacher in advance to clarify how the course will work. If, for example, parents are sometimes separated into groups by gender, you could request an alternative. You might also like to think in advance about the language you prefer to use.

NCT has a vision of a world in which no parent is isolated. All parents should have access to online resources, courses, and networks that support them as parents. I hope you find these articles a useful starting place.
Claire Lynch is a writer and academic. She lives near Windsor with her wife Bethan and their three daughters. This article is part of series she has written about her experiences as a same-sex parent for NCT. Her book Small: On motherhoods, telling the story of her motherhood journey, is out on 24 June 2021, published by Brazen_Octopus books. If you'd like to share your story, please do get in touch: nctmatterseditor@nct.org.uk Photography by And then she clicked
Further information

Our support line offers practical and emotional support with feeding your baby and general enquiries for parents, members and volunteers: 0300 330 0700. We also offer antenatal courses which are a great way to find out more about birth, labour and life with a new baby.

Make friends with other parents-to-be and new parents in your local area for support and friendship by seeing what NCT activities are happening nearby.

You might find attending one of NCT's Early Days groups helpful as they give you the opportunity to explore different approaches to important parenting issues with a qualified group leader and other new parents in your area.

Read the free guide from Stonewall 'Pregnant Pause: A guide for lesbians on how to get pregnant' covering all aspects of pregnancy and childbirth from conception to starting school

Read more about the parenting issues facing same-sex parents on the website, Pink Parents

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Two-mum families: sharing experiences and support | Pregnancy articles & support | NCT

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Family structures are diverse and the number of two-mum families in the UK is growing every year. While resources and support for pregnant women who identify as LGBT+ are increasingly accessible, the 'other mother' can be overlooked. Much of the information available for new parents is useful to all families.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Select Your Cookie Preferences

We use cookies and similar tools that are necessary to enable you to make purchases, to enhance your shopping experiences and to provide our services, as detailed in our Cookie Notice. We also use these cookies to understand how customers use our services (for example, by measuring site visits) so we can make improvements.

If you agree, we'll also use cookies to complement your shopping experience across the Amazon stores as described in our Cookie Notice. This includes using first- and third-party cookies, which store or access standard device information such as a unique identifier. Third parties use cookies for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalised ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. Click 'Customise Cookies' to decline these cookies, make more detailed choices, or learn more. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Cookie Preferences, as described in the Cookie Notice. To learn more about how and for what purposes Amazon uses personal information (such as Amazon Store order history), please visit our Privacy Notice.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
How To Talk: Siblings Without Rivalry eBook : Faber, Adele, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
While the society provides access to support from regional organisers at support meetings, which give you the opportunity to chat to people who are experiencing the same feelings, we recommend that you use these meetings in conjunction with specialist support, which you can get from the following places.

Counselling Directory

Counselling Directory was set up to connect visitors with a wealth of information and the ability to search for the most suitable counsellor or psychotherapist. They lists counsellors and psychotherapists who are registered with a recognised professional body.

For more information visit the website click here

Mindline Trans + Helpline

Though, not a counselling service, the charity MIND opened a new helpline in February 2017. Initially it is a pilot scheme to assess the need for such a service to support those who identify as Trans+, their families and friends. The service is available on Mondays and Fridays between 8pm and Midnight. The telephone number is 0300 330 5468 . If you are feeling isolated, distressed or upset - or you just need someone to talk to ring 0300 330 5468

Dr. Kenneth Demsky

Dr. Kenneth Demsky is an American psychologist who settled in London in September 2004. Born and Raised in New York, Kenneth maintained a private practice in Boston, Massachusetts for 12 years prior to his relocation. He brings 29 years of clinical experience and is also a trustee with the Beaumont Trust.

For more information visit the website click here

Tina Livingstone

Tina Livingstone is a member of the Gender Trust, G.I.R.E.S., founding member of Depend, and OII. Her experience in providing support to gender and sexually variant clients began in the early 90's. She works comfortably with all forms of trans-identity (TV, TG, and TS), as well as offering genuine insight into the issues that can arise for those who are Transgender.
http://www.positivebeams.com/transgender_counselling.shtml

David Hawley

David Hawley is a registered counsellor and psychotherapist who practices at the Gestalt Centre in London. The Gestalt Centre offers specialist counselling for transgendered people from their central offices in London, conveniently located near Moorgate, Liverpool Street and Old Street underground stations.

For more information visit the website click here

NaturalTherapyForAll

Ranked as one of the top therapist-directory websites, NaturalTherapyForAll is a network that efficiently connects people, with various health problems, to professional, reliable therapists from all over the UK. More than a directory, they provide a network in which therapists respect clients' needs by providing superior service based on their experience.

For more information visit the website click here

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Counselling Directory was set up to connect visitors with a wealth of information and the ability to search for the most suitable counsellor or psychotherapist. They lists counsellors and psychotherapists who are registered with a recognised professional body. For more information visit the website click here Though, not a counselling service, the charity MIND opened a new helpline in February 2017.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Our Mission
EDUCATE
It's about making change for the better. Standing up for our community & working alongside Government, NHS & organizations alike to educate & support them into creating policy change to support our families for the future ( See what we've been getting up to in our Campaign section.) We are passionately campaigning for policy change across healthcare to ensure our community is supported. We also work with organizations to provide education & training & insight into who our community are & how they can improve process to support us.
SHARE
To create a kind & caring safe haven & community for like-minded women & people who are looking to start a family, extend their family or meet other families like theirs. Whereby they can make friends, share journeys, their experiences, so that no single woman/person feels that she/they are on the journey through motherhood or parenthood alone. Where they can meet other families, & their children can make friends with other children with 'two Mamas', 'one Mama' 'two parents' or multiple parents & think "I'm not alone anymore- their family looks just like mine!"
CELEBRATE
To celebrate your milestones; your first adoption meeting, your egg retrieval at the clinic, first scan, final fostering approval meeting, or your birth story; In some cases, to share loss- but to know that you have the support of us & the Tribe around you in difficult times.

These are the moments that matter.

These are the moments that inspire others to not give up, soldier on, & maybe reach out & ask "can you help?" or "can you share your experience?" or "tell me your journey".

For them to realise that their dreams of a family are achievable & there's a whole collective of amazing strong waiting to cheer them on & support them through & to make them feel supported, loved & visible.

This is who we are.

This is who you are.

WE ARE THE LGBT MUMMIES TRIBE.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The LGBT Mummies Tribe - The LGBT Mummies Tribe

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
EDUCATE It's about making change for the better. Standing up for our community & working alongside Government, NHS & organizations alike to educate & support them into creating policy change to support our families for the future ( See what we've been getting up to in our Campaign section.)

# data[].attributes.body
training for birth workers/ant teachers and support for parents in birth and belong

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
The Queer Birth Club was founded by AJ Silver - They / Them out of necessity to fill the void of LGBT+ inclusion in the birth world.

AJ is a highly trained and experienced birth & postnatal Doula, a probationary breastfeeding counselor and a qualified babywearing consultant.

Their works have been shared by AIMS, you can click here to see the article, Birthrights and The Student Midwife Journal have also shared AJ's work on their social media and, they have been guest on podcasts such as: Badass Birth , Sprogcast & Plus size and Pregnant. .

Their course has been taught all around the UK at universities, NHS trusts and private companies, it has been made mandatory education for many birth worker schools and booked by companies such as: The NCT, Abuela Doulas and Maternity Voice Partnership.

They bring together the stories and experiences of members of the LGBT+ community; Adding and amplifying the voices of the overlooked and often invisible minorities in the birthing world.

AJ is currently writing a book which will work along side the workshop, as well as independently to reach more birth workers so that LGBT+ parents have a better chance of getting the support they need and deserve.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
The Queer Birth Club was founded by AJ Silver - They / Them out of necessity to fill the void of LGBT+ inclusion in the birth world. AJ is a highly trained and experienced birth & postnatal Doula, a probationary breastfeeding counselor and a qualified babywearing consultant.

# data[].attributes.body
really in depth and covers alot of parenting support but also helps us as NCTPs understand how the community feel

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
There have always been lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) parents. But now there is a 'gayby boom'. Changes in social attitudes, the law and medical technology mean that more LGBT people are becoming parents, and living proud and open family lives. Yet there are still few role models.

Pride and Joy is full of stories, advice and real-life experience from LGBT parents and their children. Sometimes funny, sometimes moving, sometimes surprising, every story sheds new light on what it's like for LGBT people raising children in the UK and Ireland today.

Pride and Joy is positive and practical. It covers everything from starting a family, dealing with schools, talking with children about different families, and maintaining an LGBT identity as a parent.

This book is essential reading for anyone who wants to better understand issues facing LGBT families including parents or prospective parents; extended families and friends; and social workers, teachers and other professionals.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Pride and Joy: A guide for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Pride and Joy: A guide for lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents eBook : Hagger-Holt, Sarah, Hagger-Holt, Rachel: Amazon.co.uk: Books