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This resource helps teen survivors of sexual abuse. Many teens who are sexually abused will end up in domestic violence situations or even being abused again. Using this can help to beat statistics and be able to learn and heal from the events that took place.

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I'm honored to have Brooke Axtell, one of the country's leading experts and advocates for survivors of sexual assault, guest blog. Below are her tips for supporting a teen victim of sexual violence.
It is devastating to discover that a teen you love has been a victim of sexual violence. When faced with their pain and confusion, you may find yourself feeling powerless to help. If the victim is your own child, the sense of grief can be consuming.

Remember, you are not alone. Other parents and allies have walked this healing path and can help guide you and your loved one through recovery.

As the Founder and Director of Survivor Healing and Empowerment, a healing community for survivors of rape, abuse, and domestic minor sex-trafficking, I want you to know that there are many ways you can compassionately support the teen survivor in your life.

Forty-four percent of sexual assault victims are under the age of 18, so we need to carefully assess the unique needs of young men and women who have endured this trauma. Some of the resources I share will be more applicable to teen girls, but many of these suggestions serve survivors of all gender identities.

Here are seven tips to help begin this journey to wholeness:

1. Encourage your loved one to express herself. Victims of sexual assault are three times more likely to suffer from depression. Psychologist Dana C. Jack calls depression "the silencing of the self."

Consider finding a counselor who integrates expressive arts therapies (such as art, music or dance therapy). Creative expression helps teens connect with and process the truth of their experience. Writing as a Way of Healing by Louise A. DeSalvo and The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron are excellent sources of encouragement for a survivor who wants to heal through creative expression.

2. Help her explore contemplative practices. A contemplative practice quiets the mind in order to cultivate a personal capacity for deep concentration and insight. Examples include yoga, tai chi, meditation, and prayer. This is particularly helpful in healing dissociation, a way that trauma victims disconnect from their experience in order to survive.

If your loved one has been abused by a religious figure or someone affiliated with your spiritual community, don't push religion as a source of healing. Give her space to discover their own spiritual path.

3. Visit the website for Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN). Through this site, you can search for your local rape crisis center and learn more about sexual assault. Direct your teen to the Online Hotline, an instant messaging section where she will be connected with a trained advocate who will answer any of her questions.

After connecting with your local crisis center, research recovery groups and ask for referrals. She needs to know that she is not alone. Hearing the stories of other survivors helps to heal self-blame and shame. I also highly recommend Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse by Dr. Patti Feuereisen as a recovery companion.

4. Engage her in discussions about the media. Help her dismantle messages that reinforce sexual objectification. Verbal abuse expert, Patricia Evans, says that verbal abuse occurs when someone "tells lies about who you are." Mainstream media constantly tells lies about who girls are. Make sure that she can critically engage with representations of girls and women that emphasize their value as sexual commodities.

For excellent feminist critiques of pop culture in a teen-friendly space, check out Bitch magazine. SPARK is an innovative organization helping girls differentiate between sexuality and sexualization.

5. Talk about healthy relationships. Surviving sexual assault is one of the greatest predictors for your teen to eventually experience some form of relationship violence. Be proactive in discussing the difference between an abusive and a respectful relationship. Model this in your own life and refer her to Love Is Respect as well as the sex-positive teen site Scarleteen.

6. Honor her boundaries. Ask for permission before touching or hugging the survivor. It is important that she feel in control of her body at all times. You can discuss safety planning, but make sure that you do not take away her freedoms out of your own fear. Check out the Circle of 6, a cutting-edge app that will help her stay safe.

7. Never blame the survivor. Remind her that it is not her fault. She did whatever she needed to in order to survive. Ultimately, the greatest gift you can give is to be a patient, empathetic listener. To learn the basics of empathetic listening, read a book such as Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Be gentle with yourself and your teen during this time of recovery. Self-care is essential for both of you. Do not hesitate to reach out to a counselor or rape crisis center for support as you process what has happened. Sexual assault is devastating, but there is hope for those who choose a healing path.
Brooke Axtell is a contributing writer for Forbes focused on women's leadership and gender equality.

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7 Ways to Help a Teen Survivor of Sexual Assault

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I'm honored to have Brooke Axtell, one of the country's leading experts and advocates for survivors of sexual assault, guest blog. Below are her tips for supporting a teen victim of sexual violence. It is devastating to discover that a teen you love has been a victim of sexual violence.

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This is a resource specifically for single mothers to receive financial assistance, food and other necessities for them and their child. I can be able to use this to give out numbers and websites for those women who need help can try to obtain it.

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FREE living room set for African American mom near Houston, Tx

A donor has contacted us regarding donating living room set to african american mother. If you are interested and are located near Houston, Tx , please email Michelle at nunya.mg@gmail.com , and tell her your location. You would need to arrange pickup.

Apply for single mother grants today

Welcome to our website. We offer largest directory of single mother grants that help with rent, utility bills, child care, education, medication, housing, medical bills, and mortgage, among others. Many of these financial assistance programs have limited funding, and some might not be available for single mothers who do not meet specific income requirements. Phone numbers and website links to apply for these free grants are published on our website

Grants from variety of sources

Grants published on our website are made available from a variety of sources -- state, federal, non profit organizations and educational institutions. If you are looking for education grants, make sure that application is submitted before the deadline. Many other grants might also have deadlines that need to be met to quality for a free grant. Although our focus is on publishing information on single mother grants, scholarships are not given much importance. If you are looking for college scholarships, readers are advised to look for websites that specifically deal with college scholarships.

Women across the country struggle every day to pay their bills. These organizations can help.

Help with Food

Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) is a program that offers assistance to women who need food and other services during pregnancy. The benefits are then transferred over to the infants after birth and remain available until the child reaches age five. Each state has its own contact number which can be found here.

Help with Shelter and Housing

HUD makes available affordable housing to low-income, the elderly, and the disabled. They offer private subsidized living along with public housing. Their main headquarters can be reached by calling (202) 708-1112.

Section 8 is a voucher program that HUD dispenses to families that need money paying for rent. This allows a specific amount of money to be used towards the monthly living expense. There is an application process that can be discovered by calling 1 (800) 955-2232.

Help with Energy and Utilities

Net Wish gives out gifts or pre-paid cards and other aid to families that are struggling to pay their bills. They take requests for assistance on their website.

LIHEAP is a government program that gives aid to people who need help paying utility bills. There are income limits that must be met in order to qualify. More information can be uncovered by calling (202) 401-9351.

Help with Telephone and Internet Bills

Lifeline is a program that helps in covering the costs of home or wireless phone service or the internet. Reach out to your phone provider to see if you qualify.

Help with Childcare

The Child Care and Development Fund gives funds to families that need money to help in paying for child care expenses while they work. Get more details by calling (202) 690-6782.

Help with Medical and Dental Care

HeathWell Foundation gives those that are eligible, cash grants or financial aid to help pay for health costs and medical bills. They can be reached at (800) 675-8413.

Help with Legal Matters

Probono.net is a place where women who are in need of legal aid can go to find an attorney that will help them free of charge. Lawyers can be found by seeking out your individual state. They can also be contacted at (212) 760-2554 for more information.

Help with Financial Counseling

Women's Institute for Financial Education is a non-profit group that ensures women can get the knowledge necessary to be financially independent. Contact them by calling (858) 524-0955.

OnTrack Financial Education & Counseling is provided free of charge through State Farm. They give women education and counseling surrounding finances. Call (828) 255-5166 to learn more.

Help From Other Groups

The Women's Center offers counseling and education services for women that are looking for extra support. They accept health insurance and offer low rates. Reach them by calling (703) 281-2657.

Women For Sobriety, Inc. helps females that are fighting addiction to alcohol and other unhealthy behaviors. They can be reached by filling out their contact form or by calling (215) 536-8026.

If you are a woman struggling to make ends meet, get in touch with one of these groups who can provide you with support in many different ways.

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FREE living room set for African American mom near Houston, Tx A donor has contacted us regarding donating living room set to african american mother. If you are interested and are located near Houston, Tx , please email Michelle at nunya.mg@gmail.com , and tell her your location. You would need to arrange pickup.

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These days, self-care is extremely important and can really help to boost moods and feel better about yourself, that’s why this resource is perfect for the women I will be servicing. This helps them to find ways to take care of themselves and put themselves first for once. I can also use this as a bonding technique for them to open up about their problems to get them more specific help.

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A place for those who have survived a narcissistic relationship and now have the needed boundaries in place for safety and sanity. This is a group for people who are no longer engaging with abusers - this does not necessarily mean no contact. It means that you longer engage in the toxic dynamics with abusers. This group is meant as a next step after /r/raisedbynarcissists.

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100 Self-Care Ideas To Improve Your Life After Abuse

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A place for those who have survived a narcissistic relationship and now have the needed boundaries in place for safety and sanity. This is a group for people who are no longer engaging with abusers - this does not necessarily mean no contact. It means that you longer engage in the toxic dynamics with abusers.

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Emotional abuse can at times be more damaging than physical. This is a guide with 11 tips on how to heal from that emotional trauma. Many of the young ladies at this organization have experienced it so it’s extremely important to address it and help them recover. I can use this to encourage healthier habits to getting to better emotional health.

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Emotional abuse and substance abuse have a complex and oftentimes co-occurring relationship.

In fact, 40-60% of domestic violence cases are suspected to have either been exacerbated by or stemmed directly from situations involving substance abuse. And since physical abuse is typically (if not always) accompanied by some form of emotional abuse, it stands to reason that drug use is directly responsible for emotional damage in a relationship as well.

Beyond illicit substances typically being directly involved in incidences of this type of psychological abuse, victims are at an especially high risk of developing mental disorders like depression and anxiety which have been shown to be linked with substance use disorders.

And while this underreported but still highly damaging type of mental abuse can be a particularly powerful cause for substance abuse, there are ways to overcome it without resorting to illicit drugs.

Below, we've put together 11 tips on how to cope with emotional abuse, from educating yourself on what it is and building up a support network to standing up for yourself and finally moving on from an abusive relationship.

It may be hard to imagine right now but you can live an abuse-free life. And most importantly, you deserve to.

1. Familiarize Yourself with What Constitutes Emotional Abuse

Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse is the first step to overcoming it. Emotional abuse is a continued pattern of behavior which may include incessant criticism, manipulation, shaming, and bullying.

This type of abuse can come in the form of direct insults and personal attacks but subtler forms like passive aggressive belittling and manipulation can be just as destructive.

No matter what type of emotional abuse you may be experiencing, the important thing to recognize is that these are tactics used to make you feel worthless and make the abuser feel better about themselves.

2. Recognize the Qualities of a Healthy Relationship

Still not sure if you are in an abusive relationship? That's okay. Many people have a hard time recognizing the signs, either because they aren't sure of what constitutes abuse or (as is typically the case with substance addiction) they are simply in a state of denial.

One of the best emotional abuse tests is comparing the qualities of your relationship with that of a healthy one. Here a few characteristics of what a healthy relationship looks like:

You and your partner can both deal with conflicts without threats or despair

You and your partner do not lash out upon receiving criticism

You and your partner can say "no" to certain requests

You and your partner openly express feelings

You and your partner willingly and shamelessly share your needs

If none of these characteristics describe your relationship, you may be the victim of emotional abuse.

3. Know That It Is Not Okay

Once you've identified emotional abuse signs in your relationship, it's important to recognize that this type of behavior is not okay. Many victims find themselves making excuses for their partner's abusive actions. They may say to themselves that they deserve to be treated this way, that they had it coming, or they may have convinced themselves that they are too in love to do anything about it.

But no one, in any situation, deserves to be subjected to any form of physical or emotional abuse at any time. Recognizing that fact is one of the first steps in stopping the behavior entirely.

4. Understand That Abuse Is a Cycle

Much like the cycle of addiction, emotional abuse as well as physical abuse can be perpetuated over and over again in a cyclical fashion that consists of four distinct phases: tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm.

During the tension phase, the relationship is especially strained, resulting in a communication breakdown and fear building. Eventually, these tensions explode in an actual incident that can involve blaming, arguing, intimidation, and threatening.

Afterwards, the abuser will apologize but may still blame the victim or trivialize the incident. The final phase is often referred to as the honeymoon phase when all problems are forgotten.

Of course, just like with addiction, the tension soon begins to build again and consequently the cycle is restarted. Consequently, even if you're in the honeymoon phase now, it's likely only a matter of time before the cycle begins again.

5. Reach Out to Family and Friends

Building up your support network is one of the best ways to combat the harmful effects of emotional abuse. In addition to giving you an outlet and letting you experience the company of people you enjoy being around, interacting with others can also help give you a better perspective on what constitutes a healthy relationship.

What's more, social connections can be miracle workers for breaking the self-destructive thought processes that result from isolation and loneliness-a few typical symptoms of emotional abuse.

6. Seek the Guidance of a Professional

If you are feeling especially lost or if you even just need to know you aren't going crazy, there are a variety of resources you can use to help you plan out your next steps.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline, for example, provides 24/7 support for any type of domestic abuse and can be reached at 1-800-799-7233.

7. Stand Up for Yourself

After identifying the signs of emotional abuse in your relationship and building up your support network, the next step is to start enacting some change. The best way to do that is to stand up for yourself.

Start by pointing out what kinds of behaviors you don't think are appropriate. Set boundaries such as "I'll listen to feedback but I won't tolerate personal attacks" or "I am not okay with you calling me those names."

An emotional abuser depends on your allowance of being talked down to in order for them to feel better about themselves. If you show them that you are willing to stand up for yourself, you may be surprised at how quickly the dynamic of the relationship can change.

8. Be Confident

That leads to the next tip: be confident. This one is likely to be quite hard to master at first but, over time, you'll find your confidence will build bit by bit. What's more, you have the upper hand of knowing their behavior is inappropriate, not yours.

Maintain eye contact, keep an even tone of voice, and try as hard as you can to keep your emotions from getting the best of you. If you act confident in the face of their emotional abuse and keep your cool, it'll be harder for your abuser to stand up to you.

9. Prepare Yourself with Reasons Why Their Behavior Is Not Appropriate

Keeping in line with the past few tips, try to prepare yourself for confrontations with the reasons why their actions and words are simply not okay.

Tell them what constitutes a healthy relationship and how his or her words don't fall in line with a respectful partnership. Let them know that their comments are hurtful and if they continue with this type of behavior then they're causing a toxic relationship that's destined to fail.

And most importantly, tell them that people who actually care for each other do not go out of their way to hurt one another.

If they aren't willing to live up to these standards, it's time to start thinking about leaving the relationship.

10. Know That It's Not Your Fault

If you've decided to end your relationship and have cut all ties with your past abuser, you may still be harboring feelings of wanting to return to them. Did you make a mistake? What if there isn't anyone else out there for you? What if you don't deserve anyone better?

While such thoughts are normal in situations like these, they couldn't be any further from the truth. Emotional abuse is a disorder of the abuser, not the victim. As such, you cannot blame yourself for what has happened.

And while it may be impossible to imagine right now, forgiving your abuser can be one of the most healing decisions you can ever make.

11. Find Things That Make You Happy

Overcoming your past emotional abuse can take a considerable amount of self-maintenance effort on your part. Occupying your time with favorite activities and pouring yourself into social relationships that may have been neglected are great ways to keep you busy and to keep you happy.

Try to limit your exposure to people who either make you question your decision or have a negative attitude. Staying positive is one of the best ways to recover from emotional abuse. In fact, think of this new time in your life as a kind of rehabilitation and follow the 7 habits of happy people in recovery.

You Can Overcome Emotional Abuse

By using these tips, you can learn to overcome emotional abuse and either mend the relationship you're in or move on to a healthier one.

No one deserves to be abused and no one should have to resort to substance abuse to cope with its effects either.

Sources:

American Society of Addiction Medicine (2014, October). Intimate Partner Violence and Co-Occurring Substance Abuse/Addiction. Retrieved from http://www.asam.org/magazine/read/article/2014/10/06/intimate-partner-violence-and-co-occurring-substance-abuse-addiction

Davenport, Barrie (2017). 30 Signs of Emotional Abuse. Retrieved from http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (n.d). Statistics. Retrieved from http://ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (2016, March). Types of Trauma and Violence. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov/trauma-violence/types

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Let the Healing Begin: 11 Tips to Overcoming Emotional Abuse

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Emotional abuse and substance abuse have a complex and oftentimes co-occurring relationship.In fact, 40-60% of domestic violence cases are suspected to have either been exacerbated by or stemmed directly from situations involving substance abuse.

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This is a link to the national domestic violence hotline. Many women in this organization come from abusive, homes/relationships and may not always be comfortable talking to someone face to face. This website offers a hotline, text and chat room to anonymously talk about their issues and have opportunity to get help. This is an easy number and link to give to those that I will be servicing.

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24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.

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Stress is very common for not only adults but for teens as well, especially those dealing with a lot on their plate. This resource goes into detail of the effects of stress on teens and ways it can be combated. The resource recommends a good nights rest, exercise and much more. I can use this to give tips for those teen girls dealing with stress.

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The pandemic pushed stress to historic highs. Here are healthy ways for children and teens to cope.

Cite this

American Psychological Association. (2022, October 19). How to help children and teens manage their stress. https://www.apa.org/topics/children/stress

In the short term, stress can push a child to practice for her piano recital or inspire a teen to study when he'd rather be out with friends. But chronic stress-for example, from unrelenting pandemic-related pressures, social unrest, or violence-is different. Left unchecked, long-term stress can contribute to a long list of physical and mental health problems. Prolonged stress can cause high blood pressure, weaken the immune system, and contribute to diseases such as obesity and heart disease. It can also lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression-disorders that are becoming more common in youth.

More than two full years into the covid-19 pandemic, mental illness is at an all-time high-especially among children. In fact, between 2016 and 2020, the number of children aged 3 to 17 diagnosed with anxiety grew by 29% and those with depression by 27%, according to a study published in 2022 in JAMA Pediatrics. The findings also suggest concerning changes in child and family well-being after the onset of the covid-19 pandemic.

At the extreme end of the stress scale, nearly 270,000 children suffered tragic loss, with covid-19 claiming one or more of their caregivers.

Stress in young people doesn't always look like stress in adults. But like adults, children and teens-even those with life-altering losses-can find healthy ways to cope. Together, young people and their parents or caregivers can learn to spot the signs of excess stress and, with the right tools, manage it.

Sources of stress in young children

For young children, tension at home is a common source of stress. Children may be troubled by family discord, divorce, or loss, for example. Even happy changes, such as a new home, the arrival of a new sibling, or a beloved new stepparent can be hard on a child.

School is another frequent source of concern for kids. Young children might be stressed about making friends, dealing with bullies, or getting along with their teachers. They might also be anxious about tests and grades.

More significant stress is also rising in this cohort. While pediatric emergency department visits declined during the pandemic, the number and proportion of mental health-related emergency department visits increased for children ages 0 to 11, compared to 2019, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( Radhakrishnan, L., et al., Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Vol. 71, No. 8, 2022).

Sources of stress in adolescents and teens

As children get older, their sources of stress expand. Teens are more likely than young children to be stressed by events or situations outside the home.

Mental health crises are on the rise for this age group as well, with mental health-related emergency department visits increasing for kids ages 12 to 17 compared with 2019 emergency department visits. In particular, emergency departments saw increases in visits related to self-harm, drug poisonings, and eating disorders among this age group since the pandemic's onset ( Radhakrishnan, L., et al., Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, Vol. 71, No. 8, 2022).

In addition, during the 2020-2021 school year, more than 60% of college students met the criteria for at least one mental health problem, according to the Healthy Minds Study, which collects data from 373 campuses nationwide ( Lipson, S. K., et al., Journal of Affective Disorders, Vol. 306, 2022).

Peers can help buffer stress, but can also be a source of it. Social relationships are especially important in adolescence. Many teens worry about fitting in, their first romantic relationships, and peer pressure around substance use and sex.

Recognize the signs of stress

Signs of stress in youth can show up in a number of ways:

Irritability and anger: Children don't always have the words to describe how they are feeling and sometimes tension bubbles over into a bad mood. Stressed-out kids and teens might be more short-tempered or argumentative than normal.

Changes in behavior: A young child who used to be a great listener is suddenly acting out. A once-active teen now doesn't want to leave the house. Sudden changes can be a sign that stress levels are high.

Trouble sleeping: A child or teen might complain of feeling tired all the time, sleep more than usual, or have trouble falling asleep at night.

Neglecting responsibilities: If an adolescent suddenly drops the ball on homework, forgets obligations, or starts procrastinating more than usual, stress might be a factor.

Eating changes: Eating too much or too little can both be reactions to stress.

Getting sick more often: Stress often shows up as physical symptoms. Children who feel stress often report headaches or stomachaches, and might make frequent trips to the school nurse's office.

Stress management for kids and teens

Facing stressors is a fact of life, for children and adults. These strategies can help keep stress in check:

Sleep well. Sleep is essential for physical and emotional well-being. Experts recommend nine to 12 hours of sleep a night for 6- to 12-year olds. Teens need eight to 10 hours a night. Sleep needs to be a priority to keep stress in check. To protect shut-eye, limit screen use at night and avoid keeping digital devices in the bedroom.

Exercise. Physical activity is an essential stress reliever for people of all ages. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends at least 60 minutes a day of activity for children ages 6 to 17.

Talk it out. Talking about stressful situations with a trusted adult can help kids and teens put things in perspective and find solutions.

Make time for fun-and quiet. Just like adults, kids and teens need time to do what brings them joy, whether that's unstructured time to play with building bricks or uninterrupted hours to practice music or art. Also, while some children thrive bouncing from one activity to the next, others need more down time. Find a healthy balance between favorite activities and free time.

Get outside. Spending time in nature is an effective way to relieve stress and improve overall well-being. Researchers have found that people who live in areas with more green space have less depression, anxiety, and stress.

Write about it. Research has found that expressing oneself in writing can help reduce mental distress and improve well-being. Some research has found, for example, that writing about positive feelings-such as the things you're grateful for or proud of-can ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Learn mindfulness. In a study of a 5-week mindfulness training program for 13- to 18-year-olds, researchers found that teens who learned mindfulness experienced significantly less mental distress than teens who did not.

How parents can help

Parents and other caregivers have an important part to play, by adopting their own healthy habits and helping children and teens find stress-managing strategies. Some ways parents can take action:

Model healthy coping. Caregivers can talk with children about how they've thought about and dealt with their own stressful situations.

Let kids be problem-solvers. It's natural to want to fix your child's problems. But when parents swoop in to solve every little glitch, their children don't have a chance to learn healthy coping skills. Let your children try to solve their low-stakes problems on their own, and they'll gain confidence that they can deal with stressors and setbacks.

Promote media literacy. Today's kids spend a lot of time online, where they can run into questionable content, cyberbullying, or the peer pressures of social media. Parents can help by teaching their children to be savvy digital consumers, and by limiting screen time.

Combat negative thinking. "I'm terrible at math." "I hate my hair." "I'll never make the team. Why try out?" Children and teens can easily fall into the trap of negative thinking. When children use negative self-talk, though, don't just disagree. Ask them to really think about whether what they say is true, or remind them of times they worked hard and improved. Learning to frame things positively will help them develop resilience to stress.

How psychologists can help

Thanks to psychologists Mary Alvord, PhD, and Raquel Halfond, PhD, who assisted with this article.

Recommended Reading

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How to help children and teens manage their stress

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The pandemic pushed stress to historic highs. Here are healthy ways for children and teens to cope.

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This resources is a portal to other resources to help teens dealing with various types of abusing such as domestic, emotional, physical abuse and bullying. It offers tips, hot-lines and specific people in the community who they could reach out to.

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What Is Abuse?

Abuse means treating another person with violence, cruelty, hate, harm, or force. Abuse is never OK. No matter who's doing it or where it happens. And it is never the fault of the person who is being abused.

With the right help and support, people can get out of abusive situations. There are adults who will help them be safe and stop the abuse. There is therapy and caring support to help them heal the emotional hurt that abuse can cause.

What Are the Different Kinds of Abuse?

It is called physical abuse when someone does things like hit, beat, shove, shake, or choke a person. This can leave marks or bruises. Physical abuse includes hitting with an object like a belt. Or throwing an object at someone to injure them. Or pushing into a person's space to threaten or make them feel unsafe.

It is called emotional abuse when someone uses harsh or cruel words or treats the person with scorn. This can tear people down, or make them doubt their worth. Some abusers act mean or possessive. Some use fear or threats to control a person. Some try to shame a person for who they are. Some target people because of their looks, race, or because they identify as LGBTQ+. They might harass, use hate speech, or threaten harm. Emotional abuse can happen in person or online.

It is called sexual abuse when an adult (or much older teen) forces, pressures, or tricks a young person into sex acts of any kind. This includes sexual touching, grabbing, or kissing. It includes showing the young person private parts of their body, or asking to see theirs. It includes showing sexual or nude pictures, or asking them to pose for pictures like this. It includes giving money or gifts for doing sexual acts. Sexual abuse can happen in person or online.

It's called grooming when an adult abuser tricks someone into trusting them, admiring them, or depending on them. They try to use this false sense of trust to trick someone into sexual abuse. This can happen in person or online. If you feel uncomfortable about the way someone is getting personal with you, talk it over with an adult you trust.

Sexual abuse might also be called sexual violence, sexual harassment, sexual assault, or rape.

If any of kind of abuse has happened to you, tell an adult you trust right away.

How Does Abuse Affect People?

Some abuse causes injuries that you can see, like bruises, cuts, or broken bones. Some injuries need medical care. Abuse also causes emotional hurt and deep stress that you can't see. This deep emotional stress is called trauma.

The stress of abuse affects the way a person feels, thinks, and acts. It can make them feel scared and unsafe. They might feel sad, angry, or confused. Some feel ashamed, alone, or trapped. Some will mistakenly think abuse is their fault. Or that they did something to deserve it. Some may try to act like the abuse doesn't bother them. They may try not to show the deep hurt.

For some, the stress of abuse can cause trouble with sleep, health, or eating. It can make it harder to focus in school. Or easier to get into fights.

For some people - but not all - abuse can lead to depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Some - but not all - may turn to alcohol, drugs, or self-harm to try to cope. But these ways of coping cause the person more harm than good. If the abuse happens at home, some people may try to escape it by leaving.

Not everyone who goes through abuse will be affected in these ways. Each person and each situation is different.

Why Is It Hard for Some People to Ask for Help?

Abuse can be hard to talk about. Some people don't tell what they're going through because they don't know who to tell or what to say. Some abusers try to make a person think they deserve it, or somehow asked for it. An abuser might try to make them think they will be blamed, shamed, or not believed. Some abusers make threats about what would happen if the person tells.

Sometimes a person wants to protect their abuser. This can happen if the abuser is someone they care about - like a family member, partner, or someone else they know. Any of these things can make it harder for people to ask for help. But it doesn't have to stop them.

What Should I Do if I'm Going Through Abuse?

If you are going though abuse, tell an adult you trust right away. If an adult is treating you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, but you're not sure whether it is abuse, you can still talk it over with another adult you trust. Even if abuse happened to you before but isn't happening now, you should tell someone about it.

Who Should I Tell?

The person you tell can be a parent, a grandparent, or caregiver. It can be a doctor or nurse. It can be a teacher, counselor, therapist, or coach. It can be a friend's parent. If you don't have an adult you can turn to, you can call or text 1-800-422-4453 to talk to someone at the Childhelp Hotline or visit their website. People are there to help, for free, 24 hours a day.

What Should I Say?

You can start by saying you need to talk, and that you need to tell them something. Or that you need their help. You might feel nervous or awkward at first. But don't let that stop you. When the person is listening, just go ahead tell the truth about what has happened to you.

If the first person you talk to doesn't help, tell someone else. Keep telling until an adult listens, believes what you say, and helps.

What Happens Next?

You or the adult you tell should call an abuse helpline to find out the right next steps to take. Helplines are open all the time, day and night, seven days a week. A caring expert at the helpline will guide you about what to do next. They will explain what they can do to help people just like you.

How Can People Get Over Abuse?

Even after abuse is over, the emotional hurt can take a while to heal. After going through a deeply stressful event, it's normal to have a lot of thoughts and feelings about what happened. This is sometimes called a stress reaction.

If a stress reaction lasts for longer than a few months, or includes bad memories called flashbacks, it may be PTSD.

People can heal from the hurt that abuse has caused. They can start to feel better with the right help and support from others. And there are things people can do to help themselves too.

Here are some things you can do to start healing:

Get therapy. There is therapy to help people heal from the stress of abuse - whether they are dealing with a stress reaction, PTSD, depression, self-harm, or any other issue. Ask your doctor, school counselor, or helpline to help you find a therapist to work with. Go to all the therapy sessions. To get the most from your therapy, do the homework the therapist suggests. Learn and practice coping and self-care skills.

Be patient and kind toward yourself. It can take time to heal from the trauma of abuse. It happens a little at a time. You will see small steps of progress along the way. Don't be hard on yourself when you're going through a tough time. Instead, show yourself the same understanding you'd show a friend. Believe in yourself. Know that you have what it takes to move past what has happened to you.

Do small things daily to lift your emotions. Think of things that help you feel soothed, calm, uplifted, confident, empowered, or hopeful. Maybe it's mindfulness, listening to music, watching a feel-good movie, being in nature, making art, reading, dancing, working out, helping others, or working toward a small goal. Try to do something to lift your mood for a short time each day. This helps to offset the effects of stress on your body and mind. You might not feel different right away - but it adds up.

Let others support you. It helps to have people who can be there for you. Find a family member, caring adult, or good friend to confide in. Let them know what it's like for you and how you're doing. They can listen when you want to talk. They can give comfort when you need it. You don't always have to talk about it. Spending time together doing something fun or relaxing helps too. Be with people who believe in you, let you know you matter, and who bring out your best.

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Abuse means treating another person with violence, cruelty, harm, or force. It's never OK, and it's not the fault of the person who is being abused. Tell an adult you trust or call a helpline.

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This resource helps those women her are financially struggling. This organization houses single mothers and their child which  would make this a good link for them to find help for finances. This can be useful for food, child care and many more ressources.

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Financial Help for Women Experiencing Domestic Violence

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Financial hardship is one of the biggest barriers for women experiencing domestic violence. MoneyGeek shares tools and resources that can help.

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This resource relates to the community I’ll be doing service for because many of the ladies I’ll be helping have been sexually abused and it’s hard for them to speak up about it at times. This resource helps me to be able to approach that topic if needed to help someone come out about their story. Things like this are important for their growth.

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With stories of sexual abuse perpetrated by public figures continuing to be in the spotlight, as well as the rise of the #MeToo movement, there is a growing need for parents and caregivers to educate children and teens about the difficult topic of sexual abuse.

According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), every 92 seconds a person in the U.S. is sexually assaulted. Every 9 minutes, that victim is a child.

"Before the age of 18, one in every four girls and one in every six boys will be sexually abused," said Dr. Lynda Lee Carlisle, a psychiatrist and trauma specialist from Seattle Children's Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine clinic. "While it can happen to any child, those most vulnerable are intellectually disabled or identify as LGBTQ+."

Sexual abuse is rarely committed by a stranger. It is often by someone who the child knows and trusts. While some may think sexual abuse only involves physical contact, it can also be done without contact in the form of inappropriate photos or videos, exposure or other behavior.

"We commonly see children abused by a family member," said Dr. Carole Jenny, child abuse fellowship director of Seattle Children's Protection Program (SCAN). "It is also more likely to occur in blended families, with the abuser being a step-parent or a parent's boyfriend or girlfriend."

However, adults are not the only perpetrators of abuse towards children. Some children are also prone to committing sexual abuse towards other children, often with those that are younger than them.

"A child who abuses another child typically does it due to a poor understanding of boundaries, lack of parental supervision, and/or drug and alcohol use," said Carlisle. "Surprisingly these can be children who have not experienced any sort of sexual abuse themselves. Sometimes it can stem from severe behavioral issues where they seek dominance or power over another child, as well as exposure to domestic violence."

The effects of sexual abuse

The psychological effects of sexual abuse can be extremely damaging on a child and can lead to lifelong psychological problems including post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and substance abuse.

Many people often question why sexual abuse victims wait to report the abuse they experienced many years later.

"Studies show that 70% of people who were sexually abused as children don't report it until they are adults," said Jenny. "This is often due to the stigma attached to sexual abuse, in which a person may feel embarrassed or guilty that it happened to them."

This is why Jenny and Carlisle advise parents to start talking to their children as early as possible about sexual abuse.

Tips to help empower your child to speak up about sexual abuse

"While it can be a difficult topic to open up about, it is crucial that children understand the boundaries and what appropriate behavior is," said Jenny. "Around the age of 3 years old is when I suggest parents begin educating their children, as this is the time when they develop language skills."

The following are recommendations Jenny and Carlisle have for parents on how they can address the topic of sexual abuse with their children and teens.

Teach your child the anatomically correct terms, not 'nicknames,' for their body parts. "A child needs to learn that they can be open when talking about their body parts and not feel embarrassed or ashamed," said Jenny. "When children feel uncomfortable talking about certain body parts, they are less likely to tell you if someone is touching them inappropriately."

Have your child understand that some of their body parts should be kept private. A child will learn that only certain people, like their own parents or medical professionals, are allowed to see or touch these parts in an appropriate way. "To help a child recognize where these parts are located, you can use the terms, 'bathing suit area' or 'underwear area,'" said Carlisle.

Help your child practice healthy boundaries. "Teach them they have the option to say 'no' if they feel uncomfortable with the way someone touches them," said Jenny. Carlisle adds, "They should also understand the boundaries of others, and that it is not okay to touch them in an inappropriate way."

Be supportive and listen. "If your child feels that they were touched inappropriately or witnessed something that made them uncomfortable, discuss it with them and ask questions," said Jenny. "Do not dismiss their concerns. It is important you allow your child to speak up and share their experience with you so you can provide them with the help they need."

"With the stigma that continues to surround the topic of sexual abuse, it is critical that parents have conversations with their children about it often to empower them to talk to you in a situation where they feel like they were sexually harmed," said Carlisle. "The most important thing they should know is if it happens to them, it is not their fault and their only responsibility is to report it and seek help."
If your child needs treatment for sexual abuse or sexual aggression, please contact the King County Sexual Assault Center at 888-998-6423 or Harborview Center for Sexual Assault and Traumatic Stress at 206-744-1600.
Resources:

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How to Address Sexual Abuse With Children and Teens

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With stories of sexual abuse perpetrated by public figures continuing to be in the spotlight, as well as the rise of the #MeToo movement, Seattle Children's sees a growing need for parents and caregivers to educate children and teens about the difficult topic of sexual abuse.

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This resource resonates with me because my choice of community that I will be doing service with is in Detroit,Michigan with the organization Alternatives for Girls. This organization helps young girls, adolescents and women in crisis, domestic violence, sexual abusive situations and more. This catalog helps to discover ways to help those in need and gives keys on how to uplift those who are at a disadvantage such as addressing child mortality, food resources education and more. I can use this to bring in ways to combat problems and approach them in a style that can help them through the trauma.