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Just like that, the second semester and first year are done. The time is flying, and I wonder if the next 3 years will feel like this too. I'm enjoying myself in this program, and I hope I continue to enjoy it. Thank you for an enjoyable first year, Tami. You and the other professors have made it interesting and fun.

One of the great things about this program, in my opinion, is the fact that you are actively learning about yourself. You also get answers to some questions you've probably been wondering, like possibly about someone else's behaviours, or their unwillingness to change, or their attachment style, and suddenly some things start to make more sense. It's quite fascinating when you think about it. It's helping me to become a more understanding person.

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I think it's time for a change. I'm not feeling my best physically and mentally, and I feel like I need to change some things and get more serious about my overall health. At times, I forget I'm 30, and I feel like I'm 22 again, but then my body reminds me I'm not! I don't want to feel that way because I know I don't have to, so it's time for me to make some serious lifestyle adjustments. Hopefully, the weather will get nicer soon, so I can go on walks and hikes. I need to commit to myself more, but I find it harder to do when the weather isn't good because it affects my mood and energy levels.

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WEEK 8 - BEHAVIOURAL ACTIVATION AND EXPOSURE THERAPY

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WEEK 8 - BEHAVIOURAL ACTIVATION AND EXPOSURE THERAPY

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I would take a separate course in behaviourism (if there is one) because I have always been fascinated in how others behave, especially as I've gotten older. Some great instances I could think of were working security at the clubs and watching people act like idiots because they were drunk. As someone who doesn't typically drink, I never understood the appeal in getting out of character and embarrassing myself. Still, it seemed like a lot of people were okay with these behaviours because it's almost kind of accepted in a way. I guess for some people, they were looking for positive reinforcement from drinking because others were doing it too, and it's usually expected at a club. My point is that I used to examine people a lot on shift, and I always had so many questions about why people acted the way they did. I probably question people's behaviours every day, including my own, lol.

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Mindfulness is one of my favourite practices. I can admit I'm not always as mindful as I could be, but I have such a huge belief that our minds are so powerful that I know I'll get to the level of mindfulness I need to be at. I also need to give huge props to my mother for teaching me these lessons early on in life. I have practiced mindfulness for the better half of my late 20s and in my 30s, but I would love to become even more mindful, calm, and calculated. I'm proud of my progress and excited to continue improving.

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I made it onto the Dean's list last semester, and I think I have for this semester as well. I'm so proud of myself because this isn't my first time attending post-secondary, but it's my first time putting in real effort. Coming to Humber, I have seen myself grow as an individual and a student. I'm just really proud, and I hope I continue to make myself proud!

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I'm not sure what it is, but I think I've been depressed for the past few weeks. I've been sleeping more, smoking more, and not wanting to do much. It's funny because I work on my mentalhealth a lot, but the physical is what I have to work on when I don't feel like doing much. I need to force myself to move, but I love to sleep, and I can sleep for hours. Maybe when the weather gets better, I will feel better. I'm not quite sure what's making me feel this way either. I will monitor myself so I can figure it out and hopefully get out of this funk soon.

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WEEK 10 - DBT (DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOUR THERAPY)

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WEEK 10 - DBT (DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOUR THERAPY)

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I have tried DBT.. I think. It was either CBT or DBT.. But the only thing I really remember is that my therapist ghosted me.. and it was weird but I guess it was meant to happen that way.

In other news, we are almost done this semester, and I am so happy to get a break! I think I've done so well, and I'm proud of myself. I'm hoping I continue to do well for the rest of my post-secondary career.

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WEEK 9 - ACT (ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY)

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WEEK 9 - ACT (ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY)

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I love the idea of acceptance even though I haven't fully gotten there myself. My goal is to get to radical acceptance so I'm less bothered by things, and not stressing myself out about things and people I can't control. I know this isn't exactly about ACT but I just wanted to talk about acceptance, and how I'm working towards it for myself, so that I can fully extend that grace to others. I do appreciate learning about these different kinds of therapies. As I'm looking to go back therapy myself and work on different things, I now know more about the therapies that could help me because I know how they work. I have always known talk therapy, but with this newfound information, I'm willing to try other forms.

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Having a Zoom conversation with some classmates for our role play, even though it's about school, I enjoy the feeling of community and having others to relate to. I like that we can talk about school work, but also joke around and not take everything too seriously. I also enjoy working with other like-minded people and knowing that I can depend on my group members to do well.

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I talked with my SIL (sister-in-law) the other day, and her perspective on something I was going through with my partner made me see things in a completely different light. She was able to reframe the issue in a way that made me see from a different perspective, when in my mind, I thought I had thought of my partner's perspective and how he felt, but I hadn't. I also felt the need to apologize right after speaking with her because I wasn't able to see my wrongdoings. I am grateful for my community and that I have people who are emotionally regulated to help me when I'm not being the most rational, even though I may think I am. She helped me to see the situation better, and I was able to reconcile with my partner.

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I am exhausted today, and I didn't go to class. I decided to get up early and come over to my mom's so I could keep my nanny company, do some schoolwork, and watch over the paint job being done. For many reasons, it bothered me that my nanny was there on her own as two random men were painting my mom's room. I just wanted to make my presence known and also spend some time with the pets, and hang out. I am very overprotective of my family, and I feel like as I get older, I have less and less trust in people. I guess my trust in people depends on the day. I have to trust the train, bus, or Uber driver to get me to my destination safely; I have to trust somewhat that strangers won't do anything to me when I travel throughout life, and I have to trust the process of life in general. It can just be hard. I think my extreme overprotectiveness at times can come from me being afraid to lose the people closest to me. That's one of my biggest fears and something I think about often, even though I try not to.... just a random thought I wanted to share today

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JANUARY 31, 2025

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Today, we talked about narrative therapy, and I liked everything until the word oppressive came up. It upset me, but I chose to keep quiet because always being the conscious, Black person in class is tiring. I don't think that's an appropriate word to use in terms of this topic. Someone who is systemically oppressed by the law, institutions, and damn near everything because I'm Black AND a woman just didn't sit right with me at all and felt like a VERRRRRRY poor choice of a word to use. It reminds me of this video I saw one day. This woman said something along the lines of speaking about Black issues is political because being Black is political, and that's how it feels. But I don't speak up on everything because a) it's not usually worth it, and b) I would probably have no voice after. It can just be tiring sometimes. Do I understand that words have different meanings? Of course. Do I understand synonyms? Absolutely. But because there ARE so many words in the English language, I just thought a better one could be used in place of oppressive.

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We had to do our podcast today and everyone was super nervous! Thankfully, it ended up going better than we expected (although I feel like I could've done better as I had brought up some points that didn't matter), and Mackenzie was pretty cool, too, so that helped.

I'm enjoying all the different things we do in Tami's class because some could be considered unconventional. For example, all the mindfulness practices or personal reflection. I know for a FACT that there are many people who have never done these things in their lives or feel like they're not important things to practice, but little do they know they both make such huge differences. I'm happy I was introduced to these things when I was younger. Lol I got a bit lost with my thought but I brought up enjoying the different things we get to do in Tami's class because the podcast was also one of those things. I may even consider doing another one, or who knows? Maybe I'll start my own

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Some of my activation strategies are using the people closest to me as accountability assistants, setting alarms/timers for myself, and a lot of mental dialogue depending on the activity I have to do. Jenn brought up doing thought logs and I didn't even know that was a thing until she mentioned it. I think I will try to do thought logs and see if it helps me and how I feel afterwards.

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Funny enough, I have always wanted to incorporate art/music therapy into my practice of helping others. I have a note or screenshot on my phone somewhere where I explained to someone what my initial plan was for when I became a therapist. It's still something I plan to do and this was from 2021 so it's been a passion of mine for awhile, and even before this conversation.

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This is so important. Knowing when to take care of yourself and being proactive in doing so is a skill and I think many people don't realize. We exchange energies with people all day so it's always nice to take time to ourselves to recharge and reflect.

My self-care plan involves things like walking or dancing, eating well, and laughing as much as possible. Sometimes self-care can be so simple, but I think a lot of us have not been taught to practice it. As an older sibling and a woman, we are conditioned to care for others without taking a moment to care for ourselves. As I've gotten older, I've realized that you're better able to care for others when you've made sure to care for yourself first. Sometimes, that can be hard, but it's such a rewarding decision that it's worth the risk.

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"Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success" - Henry Ford

This quote is amazing and can be used in so many different contexts. What I gathered from it is that to be successful, you need others. Specifically, you need others willing to work with you because as much as we may think we can do certain things alone, we can't do everything alone. As human beings, we thrive when we have community support, but GOOD community support. Good is subjective, but we know not all support is good support. I enjoy how the focus is on being optimistic and helping the client to reach a state of optimism in their journey.

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I love how far therapy has come. With something like motivational interviewing, it's way more client-focused and I like that the client is in charge. The best therapist I've ever visited had used this strategy and I found it to be very helpful and empowering.

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It's my birthday tomorrow and it's also midterms! I'm excited to turn 30 (and grateful to see this milestone) and I'm also happy that this semester is almost done. The second semester has been great and I've become closer with some people so that's been really nice. Hoping I get good marks for midterms!