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My name is Maya Christina Seifarth, and I am 16 years old. I lived in Germany my whole life, but I love to travel. I would say I am adventurous but also skeptical. I love to help, and I would like to make a difference in the world. I have two brothers, one older and one younger, and we all have a lot of things in common. In general, we all learned really early to think skeptically and not to trust everything we see, hear, or read. My parents are Christians, but we only go to church once a year. My brothers believe that there is a God, but say that there is no evidence that the bible is actually true. That is just one example of what I mean when I say skeptical. Believing is hard if you question everything when growing up, but I believe in God and the Bible. I have a pretty big family, and a lot of them are younger kids between 0-14. I love my family:)

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I had a lot of hobbies over the years. From soccer to gymnastics to vaulting. A year before I came here, my life completely changed. So that you can understand why I need to go back in time a little bit. I was in gymnastics for a pretty long time. I wasn't really good. Don't understand me wrong, I wasn't bad, but I was too scared to do most of the "stunts," which led to me being behind. In addition to that, I would say that my gymnastics was toxic, which didn't really help. I still went there 3 times a week for 3 hours per practice. It was such a big part of my life that I didn't have time for anything else. Then, at the beginning of 2023, I got kicked out. They kicked everyone out who was "too bad" in their mind, and from that day, my life completely changed. Gymnastics was my life, so I needed to figure out what I wanted to do instead. Then I got into all the hobbies I enjoy now(and the best part, the people are not toxic:)). I joined the youth fire department, started climbing, started vaulting, and did things that I enjoyed. My favorite part of the day was going roller skating in the evening. Not to be good or to compete, but just because I enjoy being outside, in nature, with no people.

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In elementary school, there were 36 students in the whole school. So it was a really small school, and everyone knew everyone. We only had about 3 teachers during that time, and all of them were female. One day, we were told that we were getting a new teacher. The first male teacher in our school was obviously a big deal. The only thing we knew was that he was bald. So the day came when he should teach us for the first time. Everyone was really excited because in such a small school, there's not a lot that's going on. Before school, we walked around the school building and saw a bald male person on the stairs. He was heading upstairs, and my friends and I decided to follow him and see how good a teacher he is. So we were following him and on the next stairs he stopped. We finally reached him, and one of my friends asked him: "Are you our new teacher?". We all looked at him, and then he started laughing. We all had to look really confused because after that, he said no, he is a cleaner.

I don't know why I remember that moment so good, but it was just funny.

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I never understood why my fears are not good enough. The fear of heights is normal. The fear of losing people, understandable. The fear of darkness, valid. But my fear? "How can you be scared of insects?" they ask me. They're part of nature, they say. If you don't like them, you don't like nature. How can the fear of heights be valid, but my fear not? They try to tell me all of that while my heart is racing, my mind switched to survival mode, and I'm just trying to breathe. How can the fear of losing someone be valid, but my fear not if it makes me feel the same kind of way? Just overcome your fear, they say, but wouldn't dare to say it to someone with a fear of deep water. Just pick it up, it won't hurt you, they say, like the darkness ever hurt them. How is the fear of darkness valid, but my fear is not, if it makes me feel the same kind of way? They'd say I'm bad behaved if I pointed out a fear of someone else, but when they're doing it, it's fine. All fears are valid. All fears but mine? I know those are insects, but tell that my heart that just started racing like I was chased by a bear. I know those are just insects, but tell that my mind that thought I just fell from a cliff. I know it's just an insect, but if it makes me feel the same kind of way, is it not as valid as your fear?

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I don't know where I'll be in ten years. I have so many things I want to do and try that it's hard for me to know right now. I want to travel the world right after school with one of my friends. That's also why I'm getting into how to travel on a budget now, because we won't have a lot of money. At the same time, I would like to do something against climate change. I would like to travel to different countries and do speeches and demonstrations. There are just a lot of problems that come up with that plan, and I couldn't find a solution yet. I also want to help people. I would love to become a therapist or firefighter. Then there is also sign language. I really want to learn it. There are so many possibilities, but I can't do all of them. So, what will I do in ten years? Where will I be? I don't know, but what I do now is that I want to help make the world a better place to live in. A world that will not get destroyed in a few generations because we didn't feel like doing anything. So hopefully in ten years I will help to make that come true.

Travel:

I want to make a difference in the world, but it's hard to see through the fog. The fog of what my heart longs for. The fog of wanting to go and travel. It's like arms that try to reach me. Like a voice calling me back. Like something that wants to hold me back. I hear my name, again and again, but I'm scared that if I turn around, I will never find back. The fog is getting more and more, and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to resist. My mind wants to make a difference, but I've already lost my heart... I lost it to nature. I lost it to the wonders. I lost it to the sky. I lost it to the ocean. To the sea. To the lake. I lost it in the woods. To the flowers and the rain. I lost it to the sound of the wind and the rhythm of the waves. I lost my heart a long time ago, and I have no idea if I'll ever get it back.

And don't understand me wrong, I do want to make a difference, also with my heart. But it is hard to figure out how I can combine both.

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I am scared about my future. I don't know if I'll ever have one. People tell me to stop thinking so negatively and that nothing bad will happen, but the news says something else. Every time I open the app, it feels like another wave is hitting me. Like I'm in the middle of a storm, but I can't change it because "I am only a kid" and "I don't understand what's going on". They say I should stop thinking so negatively, but have they ever read the news? The wars keep going, the people keep suffering, the oceans keep dying, and I keep reading. "The cold war is coming back!" or "Politics, back to 1933 Germany?". They say I am just panicking, but what am I supposed to do? I keep on reading, but every post gets worse and worse. I keep on reading because my mom told me it's important to know what's going on. I keep on reading, but the waves get stronger and stronger, and I slowly can't see back to the shore. "I've never felt so safe in a government," I hear them say. I try to tell them, but they can't hear me, no matter how loud I scream, because "I am just a kid". "I am overreacting." "Just ignore them," they say. "They will never change their mind," but didn't they tell us not to be quiet? Didn't they tell us to fight for the right? Didn't they tell us to stand up for our future? It happened before, and no one talked. It happened before, and no one stood up. Don't we learn the history, so it won't happen again? Don't we study to never make that mistake again? So, how can it be that no one is talking?

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Chapter 5 - If I could live again I would...

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Chapter 5 - If I could live again I would...

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If I could live again, I would change nothing. That might be surprising to some people, because why not? I could go back and change all the times I made a mistake, all the times someone hurt me, all the times where I wanted to change the past so bad. I could relive it and redo everything I always wanted, and a year ago, I might have done that. It is a nice idea, but if I were to change the past, I would never become the person I am today. I would probably never be here. I would probably not think the way I do. I would probably not have given my life to Jesus. I would probably be a different person. And it is weird to write this, but I like the person that I am becoming. I know that if some of the things that happened to me, never happened, I would still be the old Maya. I would still start crying every time a teacher called my name to be part of the lesson. I would still panic if someone told me to do a presentation. I would still only have my one friend and never get out of my comfort zone. And one thing I'm sure of is, I would've never applied for this exchange year. I am happy that I made all of those mistakes, that those people hurt me, and that all of this happened. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change anything because I would not become the person I am today.

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Often people ask me why I decided to do an exchange year, and I always give the same answer: I want to improve my English. I want to experience high school life, and I want to make new friends. But in reality, it is more than just that. Of course, all of that is really important to me, but the things I was looking for were things I couldn't have found or gained in Germany. People in Germany aren't mean, but they're not always kind. Being completely honest is normal, so you can kind of imagine what people tell you. I would always start crying when a teacher would tell me to participate in class or when I would need to do a presentation. I was just not confident at all, so one of the reasons I wanted to come here was to finally gain some confidence. I needed to get out of my comfort zone, into a different world, and it was really scary. But I wanted to finally become the person I dreamed of becoming as a child. I'm still not that person, but I am closer than I've ever been. I changed my clothing style, my way of walking, and my way of handling problems. I started to go to church, I got saved, and I will probably get baptized before I leave. I can finally say that I like who I am becoming, even though there is still a lot I need to work on. An exchange year is about so many things and I am happy that I get to experience it.

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I was born on May 21st, 2008, in Ludwigsburg, Germany. My older brother was one then, but about to turn two. I don't remember a lot from my childhood because I have a short-term memory, so it's kind of hard for me to remember things. But I think the earliest I can remember was when I was in kindergarten. I was playing outside with my friend, and we had something like a roundabout outside. I still remember that we went that and span as fast as we could. I got motion sich and never wanted to get on there again. My mom doesn't tell private stories to other people, she would never do that. But she does tell us some stories. For example, there is a picture where my older brother and I opened a drawer and took out all the bowls. My brother put a bowl on my head like a helmet and put on one for him too. That's how we stare at the camera. Then the other one is where my older brother always took my socks. Like I was too young to put them on myself but he always took them off and my mom would need to put them on again. There are more stories like this,just really random. I still have a childhood illness that's called neurodermatitis. A lot of kids get it and then it just disappears after a few years but it didn't for me. It was pretty bad as a kid but now I nearly don't even notice. So it's really not effecting me in any way.

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My first car - my grandpa

I bought my first car in 1970. It was a French make, a Renault R4. It was a mini station wagon because I also had to transport tools and materials.

A friend drove me to Überlingen to pick up my newly acquired gem from a dealer. Then I went to the vehicle registration office in Singen to register the vehicle in my name.

When I got into the car, I was very happy because I was now the owner of a car.

BUT…

But the joy didn't last long. No matter how many times I turned the ignition key, it wouldn't start.

It simply wouldn't do anything. So I had to realize straight away that owning a vehicle isn't always a joy. A mechanic acquaintance who happened to be passing by the registration office immediately explained to me that the starter was broken, but that I could push the car and it would start. We did it, and it worked.

Since I had to leave with the car for work that same day, I obviously couldn't go to a garage. Usually, there were two of us on the road, and it wasn't a problem starting the car that way. It was more difficult on my own because I had to push the car until it started rolling, then jump in, put it in gear, and thus override the starter.

In Berlin, where we worked for a while, I once had to push the car in socks during the winter because the road was covered in ice and snow, and I just slipped in my shoes.

And today I can't believe how long I put up with this before I had a new starter installed, namely...

...1.5 years.

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Life of my grandma

For context: My grandma is a Sinti who were known as Gypsy but they don't use this term anymore.

We weren't allowed to work after school. That's how it used to be for us Sinti. But I really wanted to earn my own money, so I went to the Kochlöffel (it's like McDonald's, but not as big) and applied. I was accepted, but at home with my parents, of course, all hell broke loose. My father scolded me and said, "You'll see now." He told my mother that "she'll definitely marry a German man now." And that's exactly what happened. Then I met Siegfried, and we moved to northern Germany. I continued working at the Kochlöffel until my brother came to get me. I didn't go home, though, but moved in with my sister in Stuttgart.