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I miss these people, and they miss me. When/if I meet them again, I want to talk about something other than politics.

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I want to have friends who I can hang out with whenever, not at some specific time or event. I want to have a community, that feels like mine, that's outside my house and my family. I want to build a social network that will survive me moving cities or colleges or jobs. I want to have people who it feels natural to talk to, not scary or difficult.

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In Journey To The West, Sun Wukong was the world's greatest sage(equal to heaven!) He didn't get that title because he got good grades, or because he did all his work on time, or because he put all his energy towards school. He got it because he loved learning new things, and he didn't let anyone tell him he was learning the wrong things, and he was confident enough to ask for respect from a world that didn't want to respect him. I may not be a scientist or a mathematician or an engineer, but I have earned the right to call myself a sage, regardless of my future academic career.

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It's not what you do that matters. It's that you showed up, and that you kept showing up. All being important is, is showing up somewhere for long enough.

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When I was at college, changing the world seemed so simple, and now that I'm back home, it doesn't. That's because at college, I was always doing something toward that goal, even if it didn't feel like much. I can't afford to live my life with my politics "on the shelf", but I can't afford to be angry all the time either. That's why I need to do something every week that matters to me- just to me, if it helps other people that's great, but it doesn't have to. It's not about doing everything I can, or everything I could do, it's not about filling up a charity fund or a carbon footprint that will always be bigger than I can fix. It's about exercising the muscles I use to protest, so that they stay strong.

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I want to be more visible to my friends and acquaintances, and I want to make new friends who will see and understand me. I want to be known by some group of people, somewhere, so that I know how to be in public and I stop being scared of the world Perceiving me.

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Professional Goal: Get a summer job, somewhere.

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Professional Goal: Get a summer job, somewhere.

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It doesn't have to be professional or demanding, just as long as it pays decently, is nearby, has flexible hours, and I don't hate it. I don't need to have a job to spend money, but getting one will give me an independent income, as well as valuable practice socializing.

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It could be the Modao Zushi series, or it could be something else. Even if it's only one book, that's okay. It doesn't have to be something to talk about with my sister, just something I read for me.

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I want to move to Eugene, get a job there, and rent an apartment. I'll look for work, either paid or volunteer, with one of the labor unions there. I want to make friends and network, both on and off the UO campus.