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Books about grief and loss for 9 to 12 year olds

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Books can help children to understand sad feelings. We've suggested some books that are excellent reads and can help children cope with tough emoti...

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A fantastic free service to support teacher and education staff with their mental health.

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The only UK charity dedicated to supporting the mental health and wellbeing of teachers and education staff.

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Self Referral NHS service. 18+ adults living in Richmond and/or Richmond based GP. Free talking therapies (e.g. low and high intensity CBT, DIT, couple therapy, seminars/workshops).

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Get started - Richmond Wellbeing Service

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We offer a range of free and confidential talking therapies and specialist support to help you feel better. Get started now by self referring.

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Information and advice for understanding and supporting a young person with anxiety.

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Repeating certain behaviours, actions or rituals (these are often called obsessive compulsive behaviors and can be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)).
A change in eating habits
They might start to refuse snacks or food during a session. Alternatively they may start always carrying food on them, or be eating throughout sessions.
Self-harming
Purposefully harming themselves can be a coping technique for anxiety. If you're worried that the young person you are supporting is self-harming, we have some information and advice that can help.

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Supporting a Young Person Struggling with Anxiety

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Repeating certain behaviours, actions or rituals (these are often called obsessive compulsive behaviors and can be a symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)). A change in eating habits They might start to refuse snacks or food during a session. Alternatively they may start always carrying food on them, or be eating throughout sessions.

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The Richmond Wellbeing Service is part of the free Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) scheme, which aims to provide therapies to people with common mental health problems.

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Richmond Borough Mind - For Better Mental Health

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Is this service for me?

If you are having problems with feeling low, anxious or stressed and would like some help, we offer courses, workshops and one-to-one guided support.

What can I expect?

The Richmond Wellbeing Service is part of the free Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) scheme, which aims to provide therapies to people with common mental health problems such as:

Depression

Anxiety

Stress

Generalised anxiety (excessive worry)

Panic attacks

Obsessive compulsive disorder

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Phobias

Social anxiety

Health anxiety

The first step is an assessment over the phone to find out which part of the service you will most likely benefit from. Together, you and your therapist will plan a programme of support and activities that have been shown to be effective and helpful.

The service offers Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), based workshops and groups which run from between 6 - 10 weeks and some 1-to-1 work. We work in partnership with the NHS to provide this service.

How do I access this service?

Call the Richmond Wellbeing Service on 020 3513 4455 to self-refer.

Monday to Thursday: 8:15am-8pm

Friday: 8:15am-5:30pm

You can also ask your GP to refer you to our service.
Website: www.richmondwellbeingservice.nhs.uk

Our Helpline

If you need to talk to someone about a mental health problem, we are here to listen to you. Call our helpline now if you need someone to talk on
020 3137 9590

Find out more

Volunteer

Volunteering is a great way to make use of your skills, give back to your community and gain valuable experience whilst meeting new people and having fun.

Find out more

Counselling

If you are in emotional need and looking for a safe confidential space to explore your psychological difficulties, we are here for you. We welcome people with a whole range of issues, including complex needs and severe mental illness.

Find out more

Contact Us

Richmond Borough Mind

1st Floor Rear
UK House
82 Heath Road
Twickenham
TW1 4BW

020 8948 7652

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Richmond Wellbeing Service - Richmond Borough Mind

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If you are having problems with feeling low, anxious or stressed and would like some help, we offer courses, workshops and one-to-one guided support.

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Explains self-harm, including possible causes and how you can access treatment and support. Includes tips for helping yourself, and guidance for friends and family.

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Beat is the leading charity in providing support to people with Eating Disorders. There are a lot of resources and information under 'get information and support'.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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General advice on how to support someone with an ED

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Supporting someone with an eating disorder - Beat

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Supporting someone with an eating disorder can affect your own physical and mental health. It's important to remember that you're not alone, and it's especially important to look after yourself too. At the links below, you can see what services Beat can offer you, and the support that might be available to you as a carer.

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Advice if you are worried about a pupil.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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Advice for if you are worried about a friend or family member - this is good to share with parents of a child you are worried about.

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Are you worried about someone you know?

If you're concerned that a family member or friend might have an eating disorder, it can be difficult to raise the issue with them. You may worry you'll say the wrong thing, that it's none of your business, or that you'll offend the person. Remember eating disorders are serious mental illnesses and are not the person's fault.

Often people with eating disorders deny or don't realise there's a problem, but that doesn't mean they're not ill. Eating disorders thrive on secrecy, and countless people who are in recovery agree that breaking the silence is the right thing to do, even if they didn't feel that way at the time. The sooner someone can get treatment, the greater their chance of a full and sustained recovery.

Here are some things you can do when talking to someone you're worried about:

Think about what you want to say and make sure you feel informed. You can read about the symptoms of eating disorders or take a look at our booklet: "Eating disorders: a guide for friends and family".

Choose a place where you both feel safe and won't be disturbed. If you're one of several people who have felt concerned, don't talk to the person together as they may feel you're ambushing them. Decide who they are most likely to open up to.

Choose a time when neither of you feels angry or upset. Avoid any time just before or after meals.

Have some information with you that you can refer to if you're able to. You could share it with them, or leave it with them to look at by themselves.

Try not to centre the conversation around food and/or weight. While it may be necessary to bring this up to explain why you're worried, these may be things they're particularly sensitive about. At their roots, eating disorders are about what the person is feeling rather than how they're treating food.

Mention things that have concerned you, but try to avoid listing too many things as they may feel like they have been "watched".

Try not to back them into a corner or use language that could feel accusatory. "I wondered if you'd like to talk about how you're feeling" is a gentler approach than "You need to get help", for example.

They may be angry and defensive. Try to avoid getting angry in response, and don't be disheartened or put off. Reassure them that you'll be there when they're ready, and that your concern is their wellbeing.

Don't wait too long before approaching them again. It might feel even harder than the first conversation, especially if they didn't react well, but if you're still worried, keeping quiet about it won't help. Remember, eating disorders thrive on secrecy.

If they acknowledge that they need help, encourage them to seek it as quickly as possible. Offer to go with them to the GP if they would find that helpful.

If they tell you there's nothing wrong, even if they seem convincing, keep an eye on them and keep in mind that they may be ill even if they don't realise it. Denial that there's a problem is common - in the case of anorexia, it's considered a symptom of the illness. You were worried for a reason, so trust your judgement.

If you need some support, visit our support services page for details on how to get in touch.

Below are some specific situations that you might encounter or be worried about during conversations with someone who has an eating disorder, and guidance about how to respond in a positive and encouraging way.

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Worried about a friend or family member - Beat

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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The different types of Eating Disorders

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Eating disorders are serious mental illnesses affecting people of all ages, genders, ethnicities and backgrounds.

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Information on Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARIFD)

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Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, more commonly known as ARFID, is a condition characterised by the person avoiding certain foods

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A voluntary group which provides valuable information for sufferers and carers of people with Panic, Anxiety, Phobias and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD).

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"Support is just a click away"

This site provides valuable information for sufferers and carers of people with Panic, Anxiety, Phobias and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD). Its purpose is to provide members with support, advice and a chance to meet like-minded people and make friends along the way. You should use the website information, Message Forum and Chat room alongside any care you are currently receiving from your physician.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

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This site provides valuable information for sufferers and carers of people with Panic, Anxiety, Phobias and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders (OCD). Its purpose is to provide members with support, advice and a chance to meet like-minded people and make friends along the way.

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A charity providing support for people who have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Services include CBT, EMDR, CFT, acupuncture, and clinical hypnotherapy. They have online peer support groups. Annual membership is £40 for adults and £30 for students.

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National charity helping people with Anxiety - Anxiety UK

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Become a Member of Anxiety UK. We pride ourselves on being user led, with many on our staff and volunteer team having personal experience of anxiety.

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A charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Specialises in self-help recovery and services include anxiety support chat, contact book, email support, and online members-only events. Offers a course to help overcome phobias and OCD. Annual membership costs £25.

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Imagine standing face to face with your fears, facing similar anxiety but sensing a newfound strength to confront them! Isn't it empowering? That's what exposure therapy does.

It is human nature to avoid situations, activities, and things that cause fear. It may suppress anxiety in the short term, but this can worsen your fears over time. Even a thought of that fear can lead to panic attacks.

Exposure therapy exposes you to the stimuli in a safe environment to uncover your inner reservoir of courage and resilience. You feel like the weight of fear is gradually reducing and getting replaced by a growing sense of empowerment.

In this blog written by Dr Becky Spelman the Private Therapy Clinic, we'll discuss what exposure therapy is, how it works for panic attacks, and what research says about its effectiveness in managing panic attacks.

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No Panic is a charity helping/supporting people who live with panic attacks, phobia's, OCD & other anxiety related disorders.

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Approved by the British Psychological Society, NCFED offers information on eating disorders, treatment, information and professional training in the help & treatment of eating disorders.

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Everything You Need for Eating Disorders

We believe that you have the right to get the best help from someone who cares and understands.

We believe that therapists deserve the best training and ongoing support to empower their work.

This is our mission for people with anorexia, bulimia, binge and compulsive eating, body image issues, weight struggles and for the people who serve them.

Eating Disorder Breakthrough Transformations

A Breakthrough session is a 3-hour transformational experience with an international eating disorder specialist who has deep knowledge and experience of eating distress. Whatever your problem, you will be met with compassion and understanding.

Find a Breakthrough Counsellor

Or call +44 (0)845 838 2040

Help For Carers

Carers and friends can be valuable allies for someone with an eating disorder. Recovery is possible with the right support. We will give you the support and advice you need.

Eating Disorder Information

Discover articles about eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, body image & topical issues.

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Eating disorders | Professional treatment and training | The National Centre

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We believe that you have the right to get the best help from someone who cares and understands. We believe that therapists deserve the best training and ongoing support to empower their work. This is our mission for people with anorexia, bulimia, binge and compulsive eating, body image issues, weight struggles and for the people who serve them.

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Young suicide prevention society that works with families who have recently lost a child under the age of 35. Services operate in 3 areas: a helpline for parents and carers worried about their child; training of people in suicide prevention; organisation of a 2-day suicide intervention training. Helplink is free.

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Skip to content

Watch the full video

Thinking of suicide?

Are you, or is a young person you know, not coping with life? For confidential suicide prevention advice contact HOPELINE247.

My whole way of thinking has changed. I feel positive about my future and the people around me. I'm now looking forward to the future and helping others just like me!

Thank you so much for the incredible support PAPYRUS and HOPELINE247 has given me. You helped me in that moment and it kept me alive.

I intend to continue to fundraise for and promote PAPYRUS. I am so proud and humbled to be involved with a wonderful charity, and to have received the support that I have.

Having been personally bereaved by suicide I understand the importance and need for our charity. I am surrounded by others who are as passionate as I am about saving lives.

* All feedback is provided by people who contact PAPYRUS. All feedback has full consent of the user and the user remains fully anonymous. Some feedback may have been adapted to keep the users anonymity.

Our latest news

Stay up to date with PAPYRUS; our news section is regularly updated with helpful advice and guidance, as well as information about our upcoming events and campaigns. If you have any questions or queries please get in touch.

Our upcoming events

Please see below some of our upcoming and exciting events including fundraisers and charity events we will be attending. For more information please get in touch.

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Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide

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PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK | Call PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Now

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PAPYRUS has developed a guide to suicide prevention, intervention and postvention in schools and colleges, aimed specifically at teachers as well as school or college staff. It aims to equip teachers with the skills and knowledge necessary to support schoolchildren who may be having suicidal thoughts.

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Building Suicide-Safer Schools and Colleges: A Guide for Teachers and Staff

PAPYRUS has developed a guide to suicide prevention, intervention and postvention in schools and colleges, aimed specifically at teachers as well as school or college staff. It aims to equip teachers with the skills and knowledge necessary to support schoolchildren who may be having suicidal thoughts.

Our guide uses a 'community-model' - supporting the belief that suicide is everyone's business and that the community must be equipped and supported to prevent young suicide - as well as urging children young people to speak up or ask for help. This underpins our work here at PAPYRUS.
To download our guide, please follow the instructions in the sidebar. Have you used our guide? Are there other materials you'd like from PAPYRUS? We'd love to hear from you!
Our #SaveTheClass campaign continues to run and we are keen to hear feedback and see the development of materials to support schools as a key part of this. We have trained a number of school and college staff recently in ASIST; we aim to use their experience as case studies throughout the year.
Please send us your feedback on our guide - we can use it in subsequent stages for our campaign. Drop us an email on admin@papyrus-uk.org with 'Schools Guide Feedback' as the subject line.

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Schools guide | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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Check out our Schools Guide here! | Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity | For more information call us

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If someone tells you that they are suicidal, these tips can help you open a dialogue with them and offer support in an appropriate and sensitive manner.

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If someone tells you that they are suicidal, the following tips can help you open a dialogue with them and offer support in an appropriate and sensitive manner:

Firstly, it is important that you try to stay calm and listen to the young person - hear them out. Avoid judgement, regardless of what's going on. Suicide should always be taken seriously. Ask open questions to get an understanding of what is happening for them and how it is making them feel. Remember that, regardless of what has happened or your opinion on this, it is making a young person think about ending their life. So, it's important to listen and take them seriously.

Don't judge, offer platitudes ('things will pick up', 'Life's too short' etc.) or try to fix everything. It has taken that young person a lot of courage to be open and honest with you, it is important that you take what they say seriously and without judgment.

Also, empathic listening is key here - ask open and honest questions and show that you're listening by reflecting on what they say and clarifying what they mean. Don't jump in with solutions - allow them to express their problems first.

Don't minimise their feelings by saying it's 'just a phase', 'you'll grow out of it' or 'why is that even bothering you?' Take time to imagine what it's like for that person, focus on their feelings and their experiences - not your own.

Give them space and time in the moment or, if they feel unable to speak at that time, acknowledge the importance of what they've said and arrange a time to talk. As hard and as painful as it might be to listen, you need to hear their reasons for wanting to die before you can focus on reasons for living.

It's absolutely ok to not know what to say! You're a human being too and what you're hearing might be terrifying for you, as well as the individual. If you don't know what to say - be honest and tell that person. Reassure them that you are glad they told you - this can be far more empowering and genuine than making something up. If you're honest with them, they'll be honest with you.

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Disclosure of suicidal thoughts - Papyrus UK | Suicide Prevention Charity

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If someone tells you that they are suicidal, the following tips can help you open a dialogue with them and offer support in an appropriate and sensitive manner: Firstly, it is important that you try to stay calm and listen to the young person - hear them out.

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A range of information, advice as well as resources including things like wellbeing activities, toolkits and webinars to help you support the young people in your lives.

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Mental Health Resources For Children and Young People

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Free mental health resources, posters, lesson plans and activity sheets for primary and secondary school staff, and mental health professionals working with children and young people.

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A free educational resource providing safe and reliable advice about young people's mental health for parents and carers.

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Welcome to MindEd for Families, Children and Young People. We hope you like our new design. If you are a regular user you might find that some of the topics have moved, or the titles have been changed slightly. But we still have all the same great content, and we hope it will be easy to find what yo…

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Depression does not only affect adults. Children and young people can get depressed too.
It's important to get help early if you think your child may be depressed. The longer it goes on, the more likely it is to disrupt your child's life and turn into a long-term problem.

Signs of depression in children

Symptoms of depression in children often include:

sadness, or a low mood that does not go away

being irritable or grumpy all the time

not being interested in things they used to enjoy

feeling tired and exhausted a lot of the time

Your child may also:

have trouble sleeping or sleep more than usual

not be able to concentrate

interact less with friends and family

be indecisive

not have much confidence

eat less than usual or overeat

have big changes in weight

seem unable to relax or be more lethargic than usual

talk about feeling guilty or worthless

feel empty or unable to feel emotions (numb)

have thoughts about suicide or self-harming

actually self-harm, for example, cutting their skin or taking an overdose

Some children have problems with anxiety as well as depression. Some also have physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomach aches.

Problems at school and problem behaviour can be a sign of depression in children and young people.

Older children who are depressed may misuse drugs or alcohol.

Why is my child depressed?

Things that increase the risk of depression in children include:

family difficulties

bullying

physical, emotional or sexual abuse

a family history of depression or other mental health problems

Sometimes depression is triggered by a difficult event, such as parents separating, a bereavement or problems with school or other children.

Often it's caused by a mixture of things. For example, your child may have a tendency to get depression and also have experienced some difficult life events.

If you think your child is depressed

If you think your child may be depressed, it's important to talk to them. Try to find out what's troubling them and how they're feeling.

See some tips on talking to younger children about their feelings and talking to teenagers.

Whatever is causing the problem, take it seriously. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it could be a major problem for your child.

If your child does not want to talk to you, let them know you're concerned about them and you're there if they need you.

Encourage them to talk to someone else they trust, such as another family member, a friend or someone at school.

It may be helpful for you to talk to other people who know your child, including their other parent.

You could also contact their school to ask if the staff have any concerns.

When to get medical help

If you think your child is depressed, or you're concerned about their general wellbeing, make an appointment with them to see a GP.

If necessary, the GP can refer your child to a local children and young people's mental health services for specialist help.

CYPMHS is used as a term for all services that work with children and young people who have difficulties with their mental health or wellbeing.

You may also be able to refer your child without seeing a GP.

Read more about where to get mental health support.

Further support

If you need support during a mental health crisis or emergency, read about where to get urgent help for mental health.

If you're worried about any aspect of your child's mental health, you can call the charity YoungMinds' free parents' helpline for advice on 0808 802 5544 from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm.
The YoungMinds website also has mental health support and advice for your child

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Find out about the warning signs of depression in children and young people, and the help available if you suspect your child or teen is depressed.

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Charlie Waller - Parents guide to depression

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Charlie Waller - Parents guide to depression

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Chill Pand: app for reducing chidlren's anxiety

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Chill Pand: app for reducing chidlren's anxiety

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Chill Panda – Reducing anxiety and improving well being in Children through a fun gaming app

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Our team of Programmers and Clinical Psychologist have ensured ChillPanda is a fun and engaging game for children

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Uses cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques to help notice and challenge worries and create an action plan for managing worry.

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"I wanted to use my personal experience of anxiety to help others struggling with worry.

After being diagnosed with a generalised anxiety disorder and coming to terms with the impact it was having on my life and relationships, working with a therapist helped me to discover several ways to help me manage my anxiety. One of these techniques was the worry tree.

When I looked for a mobile app to help me problem solve my worries, I quickly realised that there wasn't an app out there that suited my needs so I decided to create one.

Building WorryTree and the tools around it means that I can combine my personal experiences with the opportunity to help others who want to manage their worries and change their habits for the better."

Louise,Founder of WorryTree

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stop overthinking Take control of your worries. let's get started

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Children and Anxiety Archives - Anxiety UK

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Written by our CEO Nicky, the guide is the first of its kind in the UK, and offers information and advice to individuals supporting those with an anxiety disorder. It contains practical tips and methods to enable caregivers to provide support in a way that is beneficial to both the person with anxiety, as well as the caregiver.

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Get information and advice on supporting a young person who is struggling with self-harm.

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There are many signs you can look out for which indicate a young person is in distress and may be harming themselves, or at risk of self-harm. The most obvious being physical injuries which:

you observe on more than one occasion

appear too neat or ordered to be accidental

do not appear consistent with how the young person says they were sustained

Other warning signs include:

secrecy or disappearing at times of high emotion

long or baggy clothing covering arms or legs even in warm weather

increasing isolation or unwillingness to engage

avoiding changing clothes in front of others

absence or lateness

general low mood or irritability

negative self-talk

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Supporting a Young Person Struggling With Self-harm

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This resource covers understanding what self-harm is and tips and advice on supporting a young person who is struggling with self-harm.

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It can be hard to know how to respond to self-harm in young people that you work with. Our guide has information, tips and concrete steps you can take to help.

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Self-harm affects thousands of young people in the UK. These resources help professionals respond to self-harm in the young people that they work with.

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We work hard to develop useful resources around the issue of self harm that can either develop awareness and understanding, or act as a source of help and support for people.

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If you're worried that a child is feeling low or struggling with depression, here’s some advice on what you can do and where you can find support.

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Going through different emotions is part of life. While it can feel worrying as a parent, it is normal for young people to feel low sometimes, and this can be a natural response to what's happening around them. Often, the passing of time and support from people they're close to can help things feel better again.

When a young person is feeling depressed, however, sadness and low feelings become more overwhelming, persisting over a longer period of time and making day-to-day life difficult.

Knowing that your child is feeling depressed can be incredibly worrying as a parent. But remember that lots of young people go through depression and come out the other side and feel okay again, and that there are things you can do to help them - including providing emotional support, working on practical strategies together and finding the right professional support if they need it.

Symptoms of low mood and depression

As a parent, it can be useful to understand the difference between having a generally low mood and feeling depressed. This can help you to think through what your child is experiencing and the type of support they need.

If your child is experiencing a low mood, they may feel more sad, tearful, worried, tired or angry than usual, or feel low and less confident about themselves - but then feel better after a few days or weeks. They may also start to feel better quite quickly after making small changes in their life or routine - for example after resolving a disagreement with a friend, getting to the end of a stressful time at school or starting a more regular sleeping pattern.

When a young person is depressed, sadness and low feelings do not change or go away with time. These feelings can become overwhelming and stop them from doing or enjoying things they normally would. When a young person is experiencing this, it's very difficult to shift the situation without extra help and support.

While every young person is different, and these feelings are often expressed differently at different ages, some signs that your child may be feeling depressed include:

withdrawing, or avoiding friends or social situations

finding it hard to concentrate, and/or losing interest in schoolwork

not wanting to do things they previously enjoyed

feeling irritable, angry or frustrated

feeling tearful, miserable, lonely or hopeless

feeling empty or numb

being very self-critical, or feeling less confident

sleeping more or less than normal

eating more or less than normal

feeling tired or not having any energy

showing less or no interest in self-care activities like washing

wanting to self-harm

experiencing suicidal thoughts

If your child is experiencing one or two of these things, it does not necessarily mean that they are experiencing depression. But it's important to speak to your GP as a first step so that you can explore what's going on together.

How to help your child with depression and low mood

If you are concerned that your child may be experiencing depression, there are lots of things you can do to help.

We have a list of services and helplines they can use on our reaching out for help page, which you can point them towards.

Top tips for supporting your child with depression.

When to seek professional help

If the situation isn't getting better with time and you're feeling worried about your child's mental health, seek professional support and advice.

Many children and young people will need professional and specialist help to feel better if they are experiencing depression. They may benefit from a specific diagnosis or a treatment such as talking therapy.

You can find more information about how to access professional help below.

Where to find professional help

If your child is experiencing depression and needs ongoing support, it can be helpful to create a support plan together with the professionals around your child - so that you know exactly what help is available and how your child can access it. This could include things like:

agreements with their GP, or their key worker if they are being treated by CAMHS, about when they will next check-in

whether any referrals can be made to other services, and a list of the services available locally that might be able to support them

what your child's school can offer - including a staff member who they can speak to when they're struggling.

people your child trusts and can talk to when they need to, including family and friends.

You can find out more about speaking to GPs, finding a counsellor or therapist, accessing Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), getting help from your child's school and finding local services on our guide to getting help.

Young people's advice for others experiencing depression

Speak to your doctor or a trusted adult about how you're feeling.

Don't be afraid to cry, especially if you're male - it helps to release emotions and you'll feel better afterwards.

I've found that identifying behaviours that are not beneficial to you - like endlessly scrolling through Instagram before bed and sleeping late - can be really helpful. It's hard to force good habits, but it can do wonders for your overall mood.

Try to keep going outside, even if it's just a short walk, it can really help your mood to lift.

Find a distraction technique - we all have different ones; it could be jogging, music, art, reading etc.

Realise that how you're feeling won't last forever and there's always something to look forward to.

If your child is having suicidal thoughts

Young people who are struggling with depression can experience feelings of not being able to go on, or no longer wanting to be alive. This can lead them to think about, speak of, or attempt suicide.

A young person can struggle with thoughts of suicide without acting on them. But these thoughts can also develop into stronger feelings, and a plan or intention to attempt suicide. All suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously, and young people going through this need help and support.

If your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts, or you're worried they might be, we have information and advice that can help. Have a look at our page on suicidal thoughts for advice on how to support them and where you can find help - including how to access urgent help.

For advice on supporting and responding to your child when they're experiencing suicidal thoughts, have a look at the Prevention of Young Suicide (PAPYRUS) website. You can also contact their HOPELINE to speak to an advisor via phone or email.

Looking after yourself as a parent

Supporting a young person who is struggling with depression can be incredibly worrying and exhausting - and it's entirely understandable if you're struggling with anxiety or other difficult feelings yourself at the moment.

It's so important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and to think about ways you can take care of yourself - including getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. Remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.

Many parents find it helpful to reach out to other parents so they can talk through how they have handled difficult situations with their children and get support. You may also be able to find a local parent support group using the Charlie Waller Trust directory.

If you need more help, you can find services such as counselling or therapy through your GP and other local organisations, or privately if this is an affordable option for you. Sometimes it helps just having someone there who can listen to what you're going through - and if you need someone to talk to, you can call the Samaritans anytime on 116 123.

You might also find helpful...

Where to get further support

Useful helplines and websites

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in March 2023. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with depression or low-mood. We will next review the page in 2024. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.

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Depression & Low Mood | Signs, Symptoms & Treatment

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Depression is a mood disorder where low mood persists for a long time. Read about the symptoms, what support is available and how you can help your child.

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Book: Anxiety and Depression in the Classroom

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Book: Anxiety and Depression in the Classroom

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Anxiety and Depression in the Classroom – A Teacher′s Guide to Fostering Self–Regulation in Young Students

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Buy Anxiety and Depression in the Classroom – A Teacher′s Guide to Fostering Self–Regulation in Young Students Illustrated by Reilly, Nadja (ISBN: 9780393708721) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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Friendship Problem Solving Resilience Activity

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Friendship Problem Solving Resilience Activity

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Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. They learn how to grieve by copying the responses of the adults around them, and rely on adults to provide them with the support they need in their grief.
Further guidance that may be helpful:
How might bereaved children react and what may help?

Children and young people have a limited ability to put feelings and thoughts into words and tend to show feelings with behaviours rather than words. Reactions will vary greatly as children absorb and process information in different ways at different ages.

The following reactions are common, and are likely to settle over time with reassurance, acknowledging what has happened and their feelings, giving them clear and age-appropriate information, and keeping to normal routines.

Picking up on tension and distress

Children pick up on tension, distress or anxiety in adults, and may mirror this in their own behaviour. Even babies sense that something important is missing, and may cry more than usual. Children of all ages may be clingy or unsettled.

Appearing not to react

Children under 6 years old do not understand that death is permanent. Children cannot handle strong emotions for long periods, and may jump quickly in and out of grief ('puddle jumping'). When told that someone important has died, some children may look blank and ask 'can I play' or 'what's for tea?' They may have heard, but they are not able to process what that means yet. They may react later with sudden crying, outbursts, changes in behaviour or asking questions.

Asking questions and exploring what death means

Children may ask repeatedly: "When's Nanny coming back?" or "Where has she gone?" even though they've been told clearly what has happened. They may hunt everywhere for a 'lost' person, and so a clear explanation of what 'died' means may help. Children may play games where the person dies, or is still alive. They may seem fascinated with death, play-act about death or ask repeatedly about it. All of these are ways that children show that they are processing their understanding of what has happened.

Feeling anxious or insecure

When someone dies, a child's sense of safety is rocked. They may not want to leave you, and may cling to you or follow you everywhere. They may behave as if they are younger: being very quiet or tearful, having temper flare-ups, sucking their thumb, being reluctant to do things they used to do with confidence, or wetting the bed.

Try to keep to normal routines which will help them feel safe, and keep them informed about plans for the days ahead. Tell them who will take them to school or activities. If you need to leave them, tell them when you will be home, or who will be looking after them.
Include them in simple decision-making that affects them. If the person who died was ill, address any fears about the illness (for example that it is not catching), and reassure them that you are not ill and not leaving them.

Anger

Anger and other strong emotions are natural reactions to sad or shocking news, and some children and young people may not be able to understand or manage their own feelings. They may feel angry at the person who died, at family, at themselves or at the world in general.

It can help to tell them it is understandable for them to be angry, as long as they don't hurt themselves or anyone else. Safe ways to release anger include hitting cushions, vigorous physical exercise, messy painting sessions, or going outside to shout very loudly.

Another idea is a 'safe zone' where they can go to calm down. This could be a quiet corner with familiar items that help them to feel safe.

Looking after adults or feeling responsible

As children realise that death is permanent, they also become aware that it happens to other people including themselves. They may be protective and try to look after their important adults and siblings. They may feel that they were somehow responsible for the death.

Primary aged children may show 'magical thinking' where they think 'if I do this, Dad will come back'. They may behave very well to compensate for what's happened, or be less well-behaved because they feel angry or guilty.

Denying what has happened or taking risks

Bereavement can be overwhelming, and can bring huge changes, alongside other challenges that young people face as they grow up. They may want to forget or deny the death or how strongly they feel. They may feel 'what's the point?' with school or social activities. Some young people may be impulsive or take risks, in an attempt to get back some control in a life that for them currently feels very out of control.

What helps grieving children and young people

Every child is unique and will cope with the death of someone important in their own way. There is no magic formula but things that help include:

Clear, honest and age-appropriate information

Reassurance that they are not to blame and that different feelings are OK

Normal routines and a clear demonstration that important adults are there for them

Time to talk about what has happened, ask questions and build memories

Being listened to and given time to grieve in their own way

Further information

More about how children and young people grieve, and what helps:

Finding support

For many bereaved children and young people, they may get all the support they need from those already around them that they know and trust. However, some children and young people may need additional support depending on their situation.

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Short films delivered by our support practitioners giving guidance on a range of bereavement topics. Read more

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Watch short films and read experiences of bereaved families and how support has helped them. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people

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Supporting bereaved children and young people

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Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they show it in different ways. Find out how you can help them and more about child grieving.

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Provides information on bereavement, where to go for support, and suggestions for helping yourself and others through grief.

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They offer a range of talking therapies. They will help you get to the root of your problems and to manage and overcome your difficulties.

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Welcome to your local Talking Therapy Service in Lambeth