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My identity as a BIPOC has influenced my engagement at NEST+m for the past few years.  I have been treated unfairly and brushed aside by administration for years, and at this point I am just "surviving".  No one has accepted my feelings and reactions to these instances so it continues.  I do not feel valued or welcome, so at this point I am not doing anything more than surviving.

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Two big takeaways from this chapter were the toning down of defensiveness when confronted with discomfort, and understanding that the way forward is to continue working on fixing the problem rather than declaring the work finished. The stories presented here were tough to read without feeling the need to get defensive, particularly during the section about Brown v. Board of Ed, because we want to believe that the problem has been solved rather than admit the imperfections that remain. Letting go of that defensiveness and listening charitably makes it easier to engage and realize that the goal is not to finish the work, but to continue it, and that while we alone don’t have the power to change everything, we can still play a part in change.

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In grad school, they teach us about the pipeline to prison system, segregation in schools, and how difficult it can be for students with disabilities. It certainly makes us aware of the system we will join and inspire us to fight this injustice. But there is the term "intersectionality"  (coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw) that is not mentioned in the text but something that I continue to think about when I read this chapter. I think about my own identity and the layers of identity that I also examine, the part that is visible and invisible. While I have these layers to my own identity, the students and the families whom we partner with all play a role in us working together to combat the systems that seek to separate and remain inequitable/inaccessible for some.

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I think of how my culture shines throughout my life from the moment I wake up to island vibes playlist which is a mix of ska/culture reggae, soca, and calypso music. each meal is spiced with ranges of Caribbean and Chinese flavor profiles. Somehow throughout the day there is a connection to language that reminds me of the Summers spent in Jamaica. But all of those culminated today in my morning and breakfast this morning.

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We need more time and space to meet with families and get to know them beyond PTCs and phone calls/emails about struggling students. Thinking about ways to better connect with families and work with them to build a stronger community.

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Pg 20 "This paradox is what it means for your culture to be invisible and visible at the same time"

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Pg 20 "This paradox is what it means for your culture to be invisible and visible at the same time"

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In both the text as well as the group discussion, we talked about how sometimes we have these discussions or teach lessons about African Americans (especially during the month of Feb). At most there are 1-2 students of color in the class if any at all. It feels that the things we talk/teach about sometimes fall short because they either can not connect, or it is information that they have heard before and falls on deaf ears.

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This is so much more than an issue with education. Yes, education is part of the system that uphold racist ideologies and practices. But changing education alone is not going to create full systemic change. We as a school can the lives of OUR students better. We can show our students compassion and hold them to high standards and ensure they receive quality education. But we cannot change what happens to them outside of our school, and we cannot change what happens in other schools.

It's absolutely worth doing the things we can for our students.

But unless nationwide, full systemic change happens, the problem won't end.

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We discussed the idea of how pedagogy falls short when it is only done by teaching. It has to also be accompanied by change as well which can sometimes be hard.

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continuing to listen to our students, and celebrating diverse backgrounds

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continuing to listen to our students, and celebrating diverse backgrounds

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How can we be compassionate about the struggles that Love talks about, without lower standards for students?

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We discussed how anti-blackness manifest in our school with the parents. We have experience non-support from the administration when it comes to parents and their complaints. It is almost as if the parents control the school and the administration is too afraid to speak up for their teachers. Parents have disrespectfully spoken to the very few black teachers and it feels as if they are only doing for two reasons. One is because it is a black teacher and, Two, they know they can get away with it, because the administration rarely supports the teacher.

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p. 27 "students are left learning to merely survive, learning how schools mimic the word they live in, thus making schools a training site for a life of exhaustion"

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p. 27 "students are left learning to merely survive, learning how schools mimic the word they live in, thus making schools a training site for a life of exhaustion"

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We discussed that we find it difficult to apply this book to our student population. We think the work is incredibly important but hard to transfer into our practice.

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We discussed access to education and the the implications it has on students. Our overall question is what can be done to address this?

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My first teaching position was at a public school in NYC where kids came in tired and hungry every day. The kids came to get breakfast, lunch, and an after school snack. This was their reality. They were not at school to learn, they came to school to survive. That year was a huge wake up call that demonstrated how public schools were NOT funded equally and that where you lived in the city unfortunately determined the caliber of a child's education.

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Complicity in a system based on exclusion

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Complicity in a system based on exclusion

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One of the issues I'm grappling with is the implications of teaching at a "screened" or "G&T" school. These structures have been used both historically and currently to exclude students of color, students experiencing poverty, and students who fit both criteria.

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We discussed how a lot of families of privilege, with access to more resources, also feel very entitled to have more than other families, and this perpetuates the cycle. Other families do not know how to advocate for themselves, or they might have a language barrier and not all of the town halls have an interpretor.

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I feel our school does not connect with the issues these chapters discuss. It's not lower grade reality.

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NEST+m was founded as an elite public school modelled after a private school. The founder of the school knew that they only way to control the students who entered NEST+m was to become a designated gifted school. NEST+m is entangled in white rage and white privileged and has been from the very start in 2001. It simmers under the surface and sometimes erupts. The G&T system needs to be dismantled but white rage will try to keep it in place.

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How relationships are the best tools to build restorative justice practices in midst of structural and racist systems

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How can we as a lower school with predominately white students and faculty do the necessary work to eliminate bias and embedded inequities?

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P. 31 "I personally witnessed educators lower their expectations for students of color while insisting they were doing what was best for their students."

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P. 31 "I personally witnessed educators lower their expectations for students of color while insisting they were doing what was best for their students."

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High expectations are a sign of respect, not a lack of compassion.

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Online learning is exacerbating the disparities among our students. So many of our Black and brown students are also our students with IEPs. In remote learning, these are the students that are falling behind, the students we cannot reach despite all of our efforts.

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Many years ago at NEST+m, most teacher hiring and admin were white and there were few POC.

Important that students see teachers and admin who look like them and reflect the diversity of NYC.

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Our biggest idea was around governments involvement in distribution of funds.
Schools are unfortunately a mirror image of society's ideas on racism.

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We said a lot of interesting points were raised regarding problems with Schools as they are but we are looking forward to her suggestions about what to do next as there are no easy solutions

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External factors are contributing to the inequity we see in schools such as taxes and resources etc. Students and teachers need the support from outside the school walls in order to move beyond surviving.

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We discussed how past funding inequities are still influence wealth gaps between different schools and districts. Also, lots of schools have PTAs that supplement funding and this creates inequities in resources as well.

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The book mentions that (white) teachers shouldn’t be lowering standards for black students, but teachers at NEST (and in most other schools in Manhattan, based on personal experiences) often feel that we are asked to have students do the bare minimum so all students can pass.

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There was an acknowledgment in our group that leading discussions about antiracism as white educators feels wrong sometimes; it's a barrier in a way. Ideally, we'll empower students to have student-led discussions. We also discussed some practices (that work better in person) that can open up students to share.

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Working through old perceptions of what I thought equity meant and experiencing the discomfort of knowing that I don't know. With aspects of pedagogy and ideas surrounding the problems with the Brown v Board decision that Love brings up, I am unpacking a lot of my own perceptions and how I can be a better advocate for all of my students.