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Does the atmosphere change suddenly? How can you ensure you create pace within that? - Evan and Moyo

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What does wan mean

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Feedback please

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Do you like my last page

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Is this ok?

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Try adding personification to bring elements of your story to life.....giving it a human quality!

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I like how you put with all it's beauty and power

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Great paragraph with a semi- colon!

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I cautiously began to clamber up the steep stairs

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Thank you demi

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In a dream it would be dreamt

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Would it bed drempt or dreamed

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Try this.....Personification is when you assign the qualities of a person to something that isn't human or, in some cases, to something that isn't even alive. There are many reasons for using personification. It can be used as a method of describing something so that others can understand. It can be used to emphasize a point.

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How about trying a rhetorical question to get the reader thinking - becoming the person in your story and allowing them to put on the shoes of somebody else I'm the story.

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Targets?

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Using the text to support writing ideas....who'd have thought you had the tools to help!

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What do we need to do to get a level 6

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To use a semi colon within brackets to add extra information (like in Alice in Wonderland I think it was p)

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To ensure the tone of the story shows humour.

For example....

A place I could hide and seek help - boy I needed it

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To use a semi colon.

To use adverbial and time sentence openers.

To ensure a variety of conjunctions have been used!

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This is my paragraph

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Franks jess great I dear

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Danielle why don't you put a big vail of smoke instead

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Here's an I dear I thought of

As I wanted to stop,but I just count bear the thought of being killed.

What do you think?

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Does a big cloud of vail of smoke

Make sensse

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Demi and Alex that is really good. Good team work

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Feedback please

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Any ideas about the spaceship landing?

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Kaden

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Feedback please

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Can you give me some feedback

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Do you think this is a good sentence or be changed Life became an agony of misery ,a wretched ritual that I only ingured because I had to

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That's great, try and use a semi- colon after an adverbial sentence starter

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How amazing is this......

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What do you think?

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No targets Aidan but nice use of 'thing'

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Any targets

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Impenetrable: impossible to pass through or escape

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It's skin was ripple like a wave a almost a transparent as glass

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Please can I have some good description for a alien

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L

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A better word for obliterated is extirpated

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Julius and Jess: I like how you put about the voices in your head

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Here's our written up version on the desk

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I'm using that paragraph Evan. Well, SOME of it

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Rhea you can if you want

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great sentence Ellie keep up the good work

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That is a good sentence Ellie. Mind if I use it?

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This was the time when the morning silence broke.

I love this sentence Ellie came up with in her writing.

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Good sentence Evan

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Meanwhile, the wave was coming. Any minute now, it was going to strike and we knew by the sight of it, it was raging and hungry for innocent lives

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Flounder Kaden

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Kaden: mind-blowing maybe

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Skittering kaden

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Can someone give me a better word for staggering or reeling in the context of running away

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Has anyone got any good descriptions for an alien?