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Kurt was a 22-year-old college student referred by his parents for depression and attempted suicide. He swung off a highway at full speed and was thrown from his car but somehow survived without major injuries. The police arrived and booked him for a DUI.

Kurt was an only son; his parents were first-generation immigrants from Poland. His father was a chemical engineer and mother a mathematician.

Kurt attended Catholic school in his elementary years and sang with the Church choir. In high-school, he excelled in math, and as you might expect, chemistry. Both parents planned his future, succeeding in helping him to get a scholarship at a top-ranked medical school, with the goal of his working in chemical biology.

Kurt said he didn't really study much, but preferred to drink beer by the pitcher at the nearby pubs and sing rowdy songs. He also liked to visit the casinos to play roulette, winning more often than not, enjoying beating the odds.

"So why did you decide to take your life," I asked?

"Because, while driving back to school from the casinos, I started having fleeting thoughts of suicide. I pushed back and tried to picture having fun at the casinos, but the closer I got to home, the fun feelings dissipated as I automatically geared up for life on campus," Kurt replied.

I asked how long before his attempted suicide did Kurt have these fleeting thoughts. He said he wasn't sure, but for at least six months. He said he hadn't planned to kill himself, but remembers hearing a faint suicidal thought, "OK, take him out."

Asked if he had any idea where that voice came from, Kurt said no, but it was his from deep inside. "I think you're right, I said, "that voice was from your "true self," the part that lay hidden, pretty much out of consciousness since you were a child. You began taking on a false persona, encouraged and celebrated by your parents. The problem was that this "false self" began thinking it was your true self and delegated your true self out of sight/out of mind.

"But why would my true self want to kill me?"

I pointed out that Kurt's true self was the part that enjoyed socializing over beers and roulette at the casinos. But, to prevent returning to depths of despair and internal imprisonment, it decided to take out his false self, even at the expense of its own self, to prevent Kurt from continuing the charade.

"It all makes sense, but where do I go from here," Kurt asked?

I suggested that Kurt could become his own person by beginning to make his own decisions about what career he wished to pursue, without necessary disregarding his parents' plans, but to evaluate the pros and cons and decide for himself. Not only would this provide for an inner peace, but probably enable him to find other ways to socialize and reduce his penchant for visiting the casinos.

"But I can't do this to my mom and dad. They'd be heartbroken if I were to decide upon another career."

"I'm truly sorry Kurt," I replied, "but you can't have it both ways. Either you want to be your own person, or you want others, no matter how well-minded, telling what to do the rest of your life."

Kurt said he would think about it. In the meanwhile, I told Kurt that I would talk to his parents if he wished.

I explained to both parents that Kurt had been suffering from an intrapersonal conflict that at a critical moment became so overpowering that it manifested itself in a death wish. On the one hand, he was driven by wanting to fulfill their dreams. On the other, he wanted to be true to himself, even if he didn't know who he wanted to be in life. It usually takes a lot of trial and error to learn what we wish to make of our lives.

"You mean it's our fault, Kurt's mother exclaimed?" Kurt's father motioned his wife to calm down and listen to what the "good doctor" had to say.

I advised them that it was no one's fault, but actually quite common that as children, the best way to survive is to please our parents. Then, somewhere around the age of 14 years or so, we begin to rebel, not for lack of love, but to find out who we are, what we truly believe-beyond just being an extension of our parent's values and beliefs, however well-founded.

Kurt felt a special loyalty to and empathy for them both, for not being fully integrated and having a foreign accent that broadcast their not having been born in the states. He wanted to be proud of them and have them to be proud of him. This led to his taking on a false persona which prevented the rebellion necessary for him to grow and develop into becoming his own true person.

His father placed his hand on his wife's shoulder while she was wiping away some tears, and said, "We have to let the boy go, mama."

"Yes," I added, "let Kurt grow up and become his own man."

*

This blog was co-published with PsychResilience.com

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Kurt was a 22-year-old college student referred by his parents for depression and attempted suicide. He swung off a highway at full speed and was thrown from his car but somehow survived without major injuries. The police arrived and booked him for a DUI. Kurt was an only son; his parents were first-generation immigrants from Poland.

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I'm not sponsored by this app but it's a really cool app

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I'm not sponsored by this app but it's a really cool app

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A new app could be the key to getting your head down and studying.

Whilst years of technological advancement has undoubtedly served us well, it's also stolen much of our attention span. Something which is a pretty big drawback when it comes to focusing on a textbook.

However a Norwegian app called Hold, could be the answer. That's right, our answer to the flaws of technology is in fact...A mobile app. Who'd have thought it?

Its received widely positive feedback since being released in 2016 - being downloaded 50,000 in its first three months and apparently being used by 40% of Norway's students.

The idea behind the app is simple.

You choose your university location, presumably so you can't just stick it on when you go to sleep.

When you're ready to study, you let the app know and then for every 20 minutes you don't touch your phone you earn a point.

Save up your points to spend on Hold's marketplace, where you can get things like food & drink or cinema vouchers.

After its successful trial in University College London, Hold has now been rolled out to over 170 other UK universities.

They already have partnerships with Vue Entertainment, Café Nero, Amazon, planet Organic, Ugly Drinks and FlowMotion.

How addicted to phones are we?

A report from Deloitte in 2016 threw out some pretty worrying statistics:

One in three UK adults has argued with their partner about using their mobile phone too much, according to Deloitte.

The rows were most common among 25-34-year-olds the report found, while 11% of over 65s admitted arguments about overusing phones.

About a tenth of respondents admitted using their handsets "always" or "very often" while eating at home or in restaurants.

A third said they regularly used their devices while with friends or watching television.

One in three UK adults - and half of 18-24 year olds - said they checked their phones in the middle of the night, with instant messaging and social media the most popular activities.

One in 10 smartphone owners admitted reaching for their phone as soon as they woke up - with a third grabbing the device within five minutes of waking.

Up next: Bumble dating app have started removing any photos containing guns.

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This App Rewards Students For Not Using Their Phone Whilst Studying

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A new app could be the key to getting your head down and studying. Whilst years of technological advancement has undoubtedly served us well, it's also stolen much of our attention span. Something which is a pretty big drawback when it comes to focusing on a textbook.

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A few months ago, Laura U., a typical 16-year-old at an international school in Paris, sat at her computer wishing she looked just like the emaciated women on her Tumblr dashboard. She pined to be mysterious, haunted, fascinating, like the other people her age that she saw in black and white photos with scars along their wrists, from taking razor blades to their skin. She convinced herself that the melancholic quotes she was reading-"Can I just disappear?" or "People who die by suicide don't want to end their lives, they want to end their pain"-applied to her.
"The pendulum has swung from 'let's never talk about it and let's never educate ourselves about it' to 'let's everyone blab about it,'" Kutcher says. "It's a very interesting phenomenon."
Among Tumblr's 140+ million blogs, social communities form around specific topics: music, fashion, photography, and also kinds of disorders. Months ago Laura was part of one such community, scrolling through hundreds of photographs on Tumblr that evoke negative emotions through art and call it depression. Black and white photographs of mystical emaciated women who stare off into the distance put psychological torment and beauty on the same page, and quotes like "So it's okay for you to hurt me, but I can't hurt myself?" and "I want to die a lovely death," try to justify self-harm. All this is at the tip of anyone's fingertips: anyone can search tags like "self-harm," "depression," or "sadness," and find thousands of blogs with a similarly distorted vision of what it means to be depressed.

"Even those people who are 'wannabe depressed' still feel the same emotions. It's dangerous to talk about 'wannabe depressives' because we don't know for a fact that they are in fact wannabes," Laura says. "There are a lot of people that suffer."

Certainly those who are "wannabe depressed"-a term Laura used to describe those who seem to seek out and share imagery associated with torment, but are not clinically depressed-believe in their own pain, but they often blur the line between depression and commonplace negative emotions. This makes it difficult to tell what's "wannabe" and what's clinical depression.

This online cultivation of beautiful sadness is easy to join: anyone can take a picture, turn it black and white, pair it with a quote about misunderstood turmoil, and automatically be gratified with compassion and pity. And this readily accessible sea of dark poetry could easily drown out those whose suffering has reached the clinical level. During the vulnerable years during which adolescents seek out self-affirmation and recognition from others, this new, easy promise of being recognized as strong, beautiful, and mysterious by Tumblr "followers" can be very tempting, says Dr. Mark Reinecke, chief psychologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Too often, it just leads to more teenagers believing and feeling they are depressed, self-pitying, self-harming.

"When you look at secular trends and epidemiological research completed over the last several decades, there seems to be a slow and fairly consistent increase in levels of depression for each succeeding generation of teenagers," says Reinecke.

(soundlessfall/Lee Forrest/Matthew Wild/Radikha Bhagwat/Flickr)

Tumblr isn't the only place this glorification of self-pity happens.

"Tumblr is a very easy place for people to feed off of this kind of frenzy because of their 'reblogging' system, [which makes] it very easy to [spread] pictures and gifs... particularly gifs, which can be quite graphic," Laura says. "But there are specific sites [for] specific conditions, like 'Prettythin', for pro-anorexics. It's grown like wildfire."

The short, soundless, looped video of gifs makes self-hatred into practical bite-sized packages. On Tumblr, Laura came across many of these, some of which show teenagers cutting themselves.

This sort of exhibitionism of self-harm, suicide, depression, or self-loathing under the pretext that it is beautiful, romantic, or deep is hardly unusual. Today the depression many teenagers, like those on Tumblr, say they have is one that's linked to a notion of "beautiful" suffering.

An Atlantic Special Report
Read More

"Tumblr was, at the start, a photography and art website," Laura says. "If you link that together with depression blogs, you end up with a glorification of these conditions. There's definitely a growing community of people feeding off of each-other's strong emotions, and it's definitely visible online."

Searching the "depression" tag on Tumblr now brings up this disclaimer at the top of the page: "If you or someone you know is dealing with an eating disorder, self harm issues, or suicidal thoughts, please visit our Counseling & Prevention Resources page for a list of services that may be able to help."

"There is more interest in the topic and more self-identification," says Dr. Stan Kutcher, an adolescent psychiatry expert and the Sun Life Financial Chair in Adolescent Mental Health, who says he sees a trend of romanticized depression, of self-victimization. "I see that on lots of social media. Not just Tumblr," he says.

Kutcher says the problem is in misinformation. Adolescents are getting a lot of information from the media, on websites such as Tumblr, or from their friends, not from reputable sources.
"What you can get sometimes is a reverberating echo chamber of girls who are sharing these experiences, and it potentiates the negative feelings."
"In this waterfall of information there is a lack of critical understanding," Kutcher says. "You see kids self-identifying as having that depression, but they don't have a depression. They're upset, or they're demoralized, or they're distressed by something." In other words, adolescents are confusing the clinical disorder called "depression" with normal, everyday challenges.

"People use the word 'depression' if they can't find their keys, or if they've had a fight with their mother or father, or if they've had an argument with their boyfriend or girlfriend, if they didn't make the school team or didn't do well on an exam," Kutcher says. "When we use the word 'depression' for every negative emotional state, the word loses its meaning." Kutcher says this over-diagnosis of normal human experience is indeed a social trend.

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A few months ago, Laura U., a typical 16-year-old at an international school in Paris, sat at her computer wishing she looked just like the emaciated women on her Tumblr dashboard. She pined to be mysterious, haunted, fascinating, like the other people her age that she saw in black and white photos with scars along their wrists, from taking razor blades to their skin.

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The ugly truth behind perfect Instagram photos

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The ugly truth behind perfect Instagram photos

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One photo, she explained, had had to be taken over a hundred times to get absolutely right and in another she revealed she was paid hundreds of pounds to wear a certain dress. She told how she would starve herself for days to get the perfect flat stomach, and a new caption under a smiling selfie ends with a disclaimer all in upper case: 'There is nothing real about this'.

Often, she said, she felt utterly alone. While some users applauded her honesty, days later other commentators were calling the whole thing a hoax, a clever marketing ploy whereby Essena was simply making herself (and a her new website) even more famous.

It's a sorry tale for a platform that started out as simply a means to share and discover experiences through photographs; where users can 'like' another person's picture to show their appreciation for a beautiful photograph before scrolling onto the next shot.

Today, Instagram has 400 million+ users which is probably why after it was launched five years ago, it has mutated into a behemoth of self-promotion where the more likes a person has, the more prestige and earning-power they can command.

It may be hypocritical of me to criticise Instagram because for the last year or so, like Essena, I have been busy heavily promoting myself and chasing those likes too. But as a model and blogger with my own website to push, I was forced to join the circus: it was that or lose out on work, as clients will always book the model with the bigger following.

Mine's growing, but it's woefully low at 2,400 compared to mega-stars like Kendall Jenner (40.4million). To get my numbers up, I have to post daily feel-good shots that (supposedly) let people in on my everyday life.

The more aspirational the better; workouts, behind the scenes on shoots and holiday snaps of me looking great somewhere exotic are the aim of the game.

What my followers will never see are the hours spent typing at my desk in a dressing gown or snivelling into a hankie feeling sorry for myself. At least I hope to try to counteract the smuggest shots with a healthy dose of humour.

However, I often resent it. Plundering my own life, 24/7 for posts can feel invasive - although I am keenly aware that I am the one invading my own privacy. I find the fact that social currency and potential employability is now being based on a bunch of likes from random strangers as depressing as the next person.

I'd love to just be free of the obligation, but at least I have a certain detachment from it all. I'm old enough to remember there being one computer in my primary school (wheeled into the classroom to great ceremony!), so I do have a built-in reality check.

Younger users, however, often appear to be emotionally attached to their smartphones and it worries me that being constantly pelted with unattainable, airbrushed lies is starting to make them feel terrible about their own realities. So, to address the balance, here are some of my own truths. The 'perfect' shots that have appeared on my Instagram feed.

1. Planned spontaneity

Holidays are the perfect chance to amass a bank of shots for Instagram. A lot of models do this, as we can dig them out during work droughts to remind clients that we still exist.

On this particular holiday in Zakynthos last year, I roped in my poor boyfriend, Theo, as my official photographer, and meticulously planned the shots I would take each day.

For this post, I pictured myself 'spontaneously leaping'. What you don't see is me getting increasingly irate with my patient boyfriend for 'not taking it seriously'.

Half an hour and 300 pictures later, we got this shot. I knew how ridiculous I was being, and I hated myself a bit, but my career really does rest on those numbers. It did well for me, with 105 likes and comments.

2. Stretching the truth

This was when I was into doing yoga every day, and had been struggling to read Crime and Punishment, which I'm ashamed to say took me an entire year to finish. As a fun post, I decided to get a shot of me doing yoga, Dostoevsky in hand, with the hashtag #dostoyflexy .

I didn't do any exercise on that day (nor did I ever smile like this whilst reading that book), I just donned the workout gear for the 5 minutes it took to take the photo.

I didn't post it straight away, because I decided it was a bit desperate, rather too revealing and that the pun wasn't funny or clever. However, I ended up posting it later during a month when I didn't have any work. A more truthful representation would have probably been a shot of me looking sad, eating peanut butter out of the jar, but that wouldn't have got the 112 likes that this shot ended up getting.

3. The flabby eight-pack

This photo was taken to show off my new trainers purchased for the half marathon I'd signed up for.

On capturing it, my boyfriend exclaimed, "Wow, your stomach flab has folded up to look like an 8-pack!' Never mind that I don't even have a 1-pack - this was Instagram gold! Predictably, as so many people love a #fitspiration tag, I got tonnes of likes and comments like 'ABS GIRL!' and 'WASHBOARD', which made me feel a bit guilty.

The actual run that followed this picture wasn't very successful, I gasped my way through 5 miles, hating every moment of it. In the end I had to drop out of the marathon because my knees swelled up. No I didn't Instagram that picture either.

4. The clean-eating con

The #greenjuice picture. The drink in question (rhubarb, beetroot leaves, parsnip and kale) wasn't actually such an appealing, verdant shade but had more of a hempy appearance that fortunately I could tweak with an Instagram filter and airbrush.

Shots of saintly looking food garner followers, so the rest of us have to at least pretend to follow with avocados, coconut oil and whatever else we are blending in the Nutri-bullet.

It's not an amazing shot and I'd delete it, but it still gets likes from the #cleaneating brigade months after posting. After taking two sips I heaved, threw it down the sink and had to make do with peanut butter on toast and some chocolate for dinner - a not-so aspirational meal that I didn't publicise.

5. The holiday glow

This was taken on my last day on holiday in Greece. What you can't see here is that my entire body was covered in a terrible heat rash. I'd developed it on day one. It received looks of pity and disgust wherever I went, and I was forced to keep out of the sun, every inch of my skin covered up.

For Instagram, I'd briefly strip off and take the pictures from a good distance so my red blotchy red skin didn't show.

Follow 1rebeccapearson on Instagram or her blog.

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The ugly truth behind my perfect Instagram shots: A model confesses

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One photo, she explained, had had to be taken over a hundred times to get absolutely right and in another she revealed she was paid hundreds of pounds to wear a certain dress.

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From the outside, teenager Essena O'Neill looked like she had it all. Nearly 700,000 instagram followers, a quarter of a million YouTube subscribers, offers to model in LA and sponsorship opportunities.

At first, the Australian thought she had the dream life. But recently, she realised she was "addicted to what others thought of me" and felt "lost, lonely and miserable".

"I believed how many likes and followers I had correlated to how many people liked me," she explained on her new blog, 'Let's Be Game Changers'. "I didn't even see it happening, but social media had become my sole identity. I didn't even know what I was without it.

So, last week, the 19-year-old announced she'd be quitting social media, deleted more than 2,000 of her Instagram images which she said "served no real purpose other than self promotion" and edited the captions to tell the truth behind her "perfect photos".

O'Neill revealed even as a 15-year-old she restricted her calories and excessively exercised.

"[Those are] not goals."

The teenager is now exposing what was behind her "candid" Instagram shots - "stomach sucked in, strategic pose, pushed up boobs" - to show young people how fake social media is.

"I just want younger girls to know this isn't candid life, or cool or inspirational. It's contrived perfection made to get attention."

"NOT REAL LIFE - took over 100 in similar poses trying to make my stomach look good. Would have hardly eaten that day. Would have yelled at my little sister to keep taking them until I was somewhat proud of this. Yep so totally #goals"

"The only thing that made me feel good that day was this photo. How deeply depressing. Having a toned body is not all we as human beings are capable of. A photo posted by Social Media Is Not Real Life"

There is nothing zen about trying to look zen, taking a photo of you trying to be zen and proving your zen on Instagram.

"Edit: 'Please like this photo, I put on makeup, curled my hair, tight dress, big uncomfortable jewellery... Took over 50 shots until I got one I thought you might like, then I edited this one selfie for ages on several apps- just so I could feel some social approval from you.' THERE IS NOTHING REAL ABOUT THIS. #celebrityconstruct"

Edit real caption: This is what I like to call a perfectly contrived candid shot. Nothing is candid about this. While yes going for a morning jog and ocean swim before school was fun, I felt the strong desire to pose with my thighs just apart #thighgap boobs pushed up #vsdoublepaddingtop and face away because obviously my body is my most likeable asset. Like this photo for my efforts to convince you that I'm really really hot #celebrityconstruct

"PLEASE VALIDATE MY EFFORTS TO LOOK SEXY WITH MY BUM BEING THE POINT OF THIS PHOTO." I wish someone would have shook me and said "You have so much more in you than your sexuality" at 16. That was all I thought others wanted, that's what got likes, that's what I thought was cool. There is nothing cool about this. This is a photo taken for the sake of trying to get people to like a photo. There is nothing inspiring about that. Social media is an illusion. #celebrityconstruct #behindtheimage"

"Edit real caption: I was 16 here. 16!!! I did not wear this outfit out of the house, just for the photo. What is the obsession with trying to look older, sexier?"

Writing on her new blog, O'Neill adds: "I had all the attention I had ever dreamed of and more. And... I had never been more miserable in my life.

"I was a living paradox of conditional self-love and constant self-hate. What do I mean by conditional self-love? I liked myself based on how tight and toned my body was, how pretty my hair and makeup was, how hot the guy I was talking to was, how happy I looked in photos, how many people liked my photos... my whole idea of self worth revolved around my appearance and my social media status. Basically, my self worth relied on social approval."

O'Neill, we salute you.

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'Social Media Isn't Real'. The Teen Instagram Star Who's Telling The Truth Behind Her Perfect Life Pictures

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From the outside, teenager Essena O'Neill looked like she had it all. Nearly 700,000 instagram followers, a quarter of a million YouTube subscribers, offers to model in LA and sponsorship opportunities. At first, the Australian thought she had the dream life.

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Earlier this month, Facebook announced it would be using facial recognition to let users know every time a photo of them had been uploaded to the site.

Such a feature would be extremely useful to one man - public-relations professional Jonathan Hirshon, who has managed to stay anonymous online for the past 20 years.

He has more than 3,000 friends on Facebook and regularly updates his profile with personal information - where he is going on holiday, what he has cooked for dinner and the state of his health.

But what he has never shared on the social network, or anywhere else online, is a picture of himself.

It is, he said, his way of "screaming my privacy to the world".

"I choose to share virtually everything about myself on social media, but my face is the essence of me individually and this is about refusing to give up the last piece of identifiable information that I can control."

One of the big debates of 2018 is going to be around our personal information - how we share it, what Facebook, Amazon and Google do with it and what should happen when it is stolen or hacked.

Part of that discussion will be played out in tough new EU laws coming into force in May, which aim to give citizens back control of their data.

Some believe the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) will turn personal data into a commodity - as valuable as oil - that citizens can share and sell for their own benefit.

Mr Hirshon wishes the US would instigate similar laws but is doubtful that it will immediately lead to citizens getting rich on their own information.

"I'm totally in favour of it but in order to accomplish that, people will have to totally change their mindset when using social media.

"Right now, we enjoy them as [a] totally free service monetised by ads targeted very specifically at us because the services know so much about us.

"Until such time as we choose to pay for these services, when [we have] the option of keeping our data private and monetising it ourselves, the idea will remain just that - an idea."

He is also well aware that the internet is the least anonymous place on Earth.

"Privacy is an illusion - the reality is that as you go across the internet, you leave traces of yourself everywhere."

Twenty five years ago - when the internet was in its infancy - he made "a conscious decision" to keep his picture off the web.

"It began as a game, to see how long I could do it for," he said. "And 25 years later it is still working."

He clearly enjoys the status of being the internet's mystery man.

"When people ask me why I do it, I give them four options. One: I am shy. Two: I used to work as a spy. Three: I am on the witness protection programme. Four: all of the above."

"I refuse to confirm or deny which one is the truth."

At a recent conference on the issue, Facebook's deputy head of privacy, Stephen Deadman, described GDPR as the biggest single change for Facebook since it was founded.

Julian Saunders, chief executive of personal data dashboard PORT.im said: "This is a massive, groundswell change in the relationship between businesses and people.

"Data is power, which is something that firms have known for a long time. Now, the boot is on the other foot."

"Individuals will be in much better position to know where their data is used and who it is being shared with."

Increasingly, our faces are becoming part of our personal data footprint.

Facial recognition has been used by Facebook since 2010 to identify and tag users.

Credit card companies are looking at using selfies to allow people to pay for things, while schools are considering the technology to check attendance and law enforcement already turns to it to track down criminals.

Apple's latest phone, the iPhone X, uses facial recognition to identify the owner and keep the handset safe.

Perhaps surprisingly, Mr Hirshon is open to the idea.

"I need to upgrade my phone and I want to replace it with an iPhone X."

"I trust Apple with my data. Many of the points of facial recognition are kept locally on the phone. Apple doesn't get that information."

But he is clear about one thing.

"I wouldn't buy a Google phone."

From people taking selfies to tourists on the lookout for the perfect shot, the offline world is now full of people snapping pictures.

And digital copies will often follow as sharing our lives on Instagram and other social networks becomes a normal part of the daily routine.

"I have learned to turn my head when I'm in a crowd," said Mr Hirshon.

He regularly speaks at conferences - places he regards as "high risk" for his online anonymity crusade.

His first slide - no matter what the topic he is speaking about - is always a picture of a camera with a red slash through it.

He also asks the organisers to remind the audience that no-one should take and post a picture of him online.

Staying anonymous is quite a job.

He regularly trawls the internet looking for pictures that may have escaped his notice, but remarkably in 25 years has found only two.

Both occurred after events he was speaking at - in Serbia and Croatia - and the photos appeared on Twitter.

"I raced to find bilingual friends in both instances to send an urgent tweet respectfully asking on my behalf to take the picture down.

"Both were happy to do so and apologised profusely for the error. Nothing done out of malice, just language issues."

He is realistic though about maintaining his facial anonymity.

"It will end eventually, but when it does I have a solution which I call the Spartacus hack."

In the 1960s film, the slave's identity was protected when many of his fellow slaves stood up and declared: "I'm Spartacus."

Mr Hirshon has adapted that idea for the digital age.

"A couple of years ago, I asked friends to tag pictures of random people, animals, minerals with my name and flood Google with them.

"So now, when one picture slips through the net, it won't matter because you are not going to be able to tell which one is me."

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Earlier this month, Facebook announced it would be using facial recognition to let users know every time a photo of them had been uploaded to the site. Such a feature would be extremely useful to one man - public-relations professional Jonathan Hirshon, who has managed to stay anonymous online for the past 20 years.

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Addicted to selfie (which most of the people do)

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Addicted to selfie (which most of the people do)

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Junaid Ahmed has 50,000 followers on Instagram and admits he is addicted to selfies.

The 22-year-old takes around 200 snaps of himself a day.

He carefully times when he will post a photo on social media so it gets the most likes, and if it gets fewer than 600 he will delete it.

"When I post a picture, in the first minute or two I'll probably get 100 likes and I love it, my phone goes crazy, it's just amazing."

A recent study suggested an obsession with selfies is a genuine condition, called Selfitis.

An urge to take selfies and upload them on social media more than six times a day is chronic selfitis, according to researchers at the Nottingham Trent University and the Thiagarajar School of Management in India.

And Junaid admits his selfie urges can cause friction with loved ones.

"They're like 'can't you go to a meal and not take a picture?'

"And I'm like 'no, I didn't get ready for three hours for no reason'. Why would I not take a picture?"

Junaid says negative comments under his pictures no longer affect him like they used to - but admits to having work done on his face because of the pressure he feels to look a certain way.

"Years ago I never used to look like this. I used to be quite natural. But I just think with the obsession with social media... I want to upgrade myself now.

"I've had my teeth veneered, chin filler, cheek filler, jawline filler, lip filler, botox under the eyes and on the head, tattooed eyebrows and fat freezing."

Junaid, from Essex, says he realises how negative social media can be, but that he doesn't take it too seriously.

"What you see on social media is not the truth," he says.

"Social media is fun using it in the right way. But don't let it affect your life purely because you aspire to be what someone else on Instagram is being... it's just not worth it."

'I wanted to fit in'

Danny Bowman, 23, was obsessed with uploading selfies on social media when he was a teenager.

"I wanted to fit in and I thought the best way to do that was to be good looking," he says.

He would take selfies and analyse them for flaws - which he says he always found - and the process became a "vicious cycle".

"Round and round it went, spending ten hours a day in the mirror taking these photos, day in, day out."

When he was 16 years old, Danny tried to take his own life.

He went to rehab where he was diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder and he believes social media played a big part.

Danny is now at university and also works to help young people with mental health problems.

"I remember lying on my bed and thinking 'how am I going to get out of this?' I felt like there was no way out.

"The pictures I post on Instagram now are not selfies, they're pictures of me talking to people or doing speeches.

"That's a lot more fulfilling for me than posting selfies and begging and hoping that I get a number of likes."

The Royal Society for Public Health is calling on the government and social media platforms to introduce pop-up warnings on your phone after spending two hours online, following research into how social media effects young people.

"Seven out of ten teenagers told us they received support from social media in challenging times," says RSPH Chief Executive Shirley Cramer.

"But we also know that depression and anxiety are fuelled by social media."
Listen to Newsbeat live at 12:45 and 17:45 every weekday on BBC Radio 1 and 1Xtra - if you miss us you can listen back here

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Junaid Ahmed has 50,000 followers on Instagram and admits he is addicted to selfies. The 22-year-old takes around 200 snaps of himself a day. He carefully times when he will post a photo on social media so it gets the most likes, and if it gets fewer than 600 he will delete it.

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Research from anti-bullying charity Ditch the Label suggests social media is making youngsters more anxious.

Forty per cent said they felt bad if nobody liked their selfies and 35% said their confidence was directly linked to the number of followers they had.

Instagram was highlighted as having become the vehicle most used for mean comments.

Seven per cent of young social network users said they had been bullied on the Facebook-owned photo app.

That compared to a figure of 6% for Facebook itself, 5% for Snapchat and 2% for Twitter and YouTube.

One expert said children were growing up in "a culture of antagonism".

Instagram said it encouraged users to report bullying content.

"We know that comments posted by other people can have a big impact and that's why we have recently invested heavily in new technology to help make Instagram a safe and supportive place," said policy chief Michelle Napchan.

"Using machine learning technology, offensive comments on Instagram are now automatically blocked from appearing on people's accounts. We also give people the choice to turn off comments altogether, or make their own lists of banned words or emojis."

'Big challenge'

The survey, of more than 10,000 young people aged 12 to 20, suggested that cyber-bullying is widespread, with nearly 70% of youngsters admitting to being abusive towards another person online and 17% claiming to have been bullied online.

One in three said they lived in fear of cyber-bullying, with appearance cited as the most likely topic for abuse.

Nearly half (47%) said they wouldn't discuss bad things in their lives on social media and many offered only an edited version of their lives.

"There is a trend towards people augmenting their personalities online and not showing the reality," said Ditch the Label's chief executive Liam Hackett.

Mr Hackett said: "Cyber-bullying continues to be one of the biggest challenges facing young people.

"Not only is the internet redefining the climate of bullying, but also it is having clear impacts upon the identity, behaviours and personality of its young users."

He called on social networks to put more resources into policing the comments people post online and responding to complaints in a more timely manner.

His views were echoed by Anne Longfield, the children's commissioner for England, who also called for a government ombudsman to be set up to mediate between the social network firms and children who are having problems.

She also called for "compulsory digital citizenship classes" in schools.

The findings appear to contradict research from the Oxford Internet Institute (OII) earlier this month that suggested cyber-bullying was relatively rare.

The OII research - which concentrated on 15-year-olds - found that, while 30% reported regular bullying, only 3% said it happened both off and online.

The huge variation of findings between surveys is often down to how questions are worded, said Lauren Seager-Smith, chief executive of charity Kidscape,

"This survey paints a bleak picture but there is a great variance in these studies. Part of this is about how you ask the question, who you ask and what age they are."

She said that she was not surprised by Ditch the Label's findings.

"We are living in a culture of antagonism. That sadly is the climate our children are growing up in," she said.

"The jury is out on quite how damaging social media is and whether we all need to spend less time on such networks."

But, she added, adults also needed to think about their usage.

"Often parents are equally addicted and they have to ask what impact that is having on family life. It could be time for them to say that there is more to life than social networks and the glossy picture of life that it often shows."

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Research from anti-bullying charity Ditch the Label suggests social media is making youngsters more anxious. Forty per cent said they felt bad if nobody liked their selfies and 35% said their confidence was directly linked to the number of followers they had. Instagram was highlighted as having become the vehicle most used for mean comments.

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Privacy is dead, or so the saying goes. Thanks to constant tracking online, Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, Instagram, blogs, and all the rest, we have all killed, or helped murder, the concept of privacy in the digital era. Nothing is secret anymore, either because we don't want it to be, or just don't realize the consequences of living our lives through computer systems that can record our every move. Might as well just lay it all out there. After all, if you don't have anything to hide, you don't have anything to fear - right?

Not so fast.

Two surveys released earlier this month show that privacy remains important for Internet users - the problem is that the debate has been skewed away from reality. It's time we brought this issue back out of Crazy Land.

"Privacy isn't dying. It's just evolving."
first survey, conducted by the University of Southern California Annenberg's Center for the Digital Future and research firm Bovitz Inc., found that 70 percent of "Millennials" (ages 18-34) and 77 percent of those 35 and older agreed that "no one should ever be able have access to my personal data or Web behavior." Despite this bold stance, Millennials in particular - those who have grown up on the Web - were quite willing to hand over that data in exchange for something.
For example, 51 percent of Millennials were fine with sharing personal information with companies as long as they "get something in return." Only 40 percent of those over 35 thought this a fair trade. Fifty six percent of Millennials were willing to share location information in exchange for deals from businesses. And 25 percent were wiling to give up personal info for "more relevant" advertising. This compares to just 42 percent of respondents over 35 who would willingly share location data, and 19 percent who thought targeted advertising was worth a piece of themselves.

The findings of this study compelled Jeffrey Cole, director of USC Annenberg Center for the Digital Future, to not only proclaim once again that privacy is dead, but that old people (those over 35) are stuck in a past when privacy was still kicking.

"Online privacy is dead - Millennials understand that, while older users have not adapted," said Jeffrey I. Cole, in a statement. "Millennials recognize that giving up some of their privacy online can provide benefits to them. This demonstrates a major shift in online behavior - there's no going back."

Keen observers will notice that this line - that we are willing to give up some privacy in exchange for something else - is the go-to argument from the advertising industry, which insists that they are only serving targeted ads because that's what we want; that they are only collecting our personal information to serve us that delicious customized content. In other words, the Annenberg survey is just what the data collection industry ordered.

The second survey ( PDF), conducted by online privacy company Abine (maker of anti-tracker browser plugin DoNotTrackMe), also found that privacy is important to most people - 90 percent of the 1,004 respondents said so. Furthermore, Abine found that Millennials conducted themselves differently online - but not in the ways implied by the Annenberg study. Rather than abandoning privacy altogether, the Abine survey shows that young adults are simply more savvy about controlling their info online.

Respondents 30-years-old and younger were 126 percent more likely to use a private search engine like DuckDuckGo, 37 percent more likely to use a virtual private network (VPN) or other type of proxy setup, and 22 percent more likely to have adjusted their social network privacy settings to something less revealing, the survey found. Most impressively, Millennials were 214 percent more likely to create Web content that helps craft a better online persona by giving Google positive results to display when someone searches their names.

It's high time we uncover our eyes and start assuming the worst.

Like the Annenberg survey, Abine's findings show that our collective definition of privacy is changing, especially among younger users. It also provides a look at where the dust may settle.

"Privacy isn't dying. It's just evolving," says Downey. "What we're doing now has so much more to do with your digital life and your digital footprint than actual, like, peeping Toms and closing the blinds on your house or locking your bathroom door. All of those things are 'privacy.' ... But the scope of what people think of immediately is changing - it's changing from offline to online."

It is the changing nature of privacy, and the variety of definitions of the term, that make privacy such a difficult concept to talk about in meaningful ways. With this in mind, Downey added an "optional" question at the end of the survey to get a better grasp what people's definition of privacy really is. Just 339 of the respondents answered the question - "What does privacy mean to you?" - but the answers paint a clear picture. Here are a few of the best answers:

"Nobody should have access to my information unless I specifically give it to them (and for their use only)."

"I want to control who has my data, and what they do with it."

"Privacy is being able to control how much the outside world knows about you."

"The freedom to be left alone and to control who knows what about you."

"It means having full control over who DOES OR DOESN'T get your personal information."

"Privacy means companies not selling my personal information to other people for money."

"I think privacy is a definition that differs from person to person, but one that always has a basic attribute: People should be able to choose what they reveal about themselves, not have that choice made for them, knowingly or unknowingly."

"Each company/individual should have only the information I have explicitly given to them."

"Being able to prevent data about me from being aggregated across multiple sources to create a complete (not necessarily accurate) representation of my online presence."

"Privacy means my personal information (name, picture, phone number, email and home address) is just that: private, not to be sold or shared, and I choose who is allowed to have that information."

In short, privacy is really about the ability to control our information- a stance with which nearly a quarter of all respondents agreed. Yes, people may be willing to hand over personal information to get something in return, as the Annenberg survey shows. But that does not mean data collectors should have the right to do whatever they like once they have it. In fact, any company that does this is, according to the respondents above, are violating the very definition of what privacy means to us now.

If that's the definition, then it very well may be true that privacy is - not dead, but definitely taking a breather. Once we release our information out into the online ether, it's next to impossible to find out where all that information may go. But because we can't see everywhere our personal information goes, we are blinded to the reality of its spread - and that, ladies and gentlemen, is a problem only we can solve.

"It's almost like when you play hide-and-seek as a little kid, and you put your hands over your eyes. You can't see anyone, so you think nobody can see you," says Downey. "That's a perfect metaphor for the entire online tracking world. You can't see it. And you don't know who's going to get it. So you just assume the best."

Unfortunately for us all, the law is currently unable to force companies to honestly reveal what information they have on us, how that information is being used, or who has access to that information. And it doesn't look like that's going to change anytime soon. So if we are serious about regaining control over our data - if privacy really is still important to us - it's high time we uncover our eyes and start assuming the worst.
The views expressed here are solely those of the author and do not reflect the beliefs of Digital Trends.

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The Digital Self: Covering your eyes won't keep you safe from online peeping Toms

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Privacy is dead, or so the saying goes. Thanks to constant tracking online, Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare, Instagram, blogs, and all the rest, we have all killed, or helped murder, the concept of privacy in the digital era.

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If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to put it online, does it actually happen? The answer, suggested by our wrap-up of internet happenings in 2014, is no. If it doesn't happen online, it doesn't - or may as well not - happen.

In 2014, the internet became the absolute arbiter of reality. Drunk on selfie-culture and armed with smartphones, life-trackers, GoPros and drones, every life moment was logged. From surreal athlete experiences in #SochiProblems to the rise to fame of random cashier #AlexFromTarget, life happened when it was posted online.

Even in moments of intimacy, lives were logged. Witness #FirstKissVideo logging a series of first embraces online. Or take the #TheFappening publicly logging privately logged nude uploads from celebrity accounts. What #TheFappening taught us about ourselves is that like celebrities, we feel a new need to upload and log every aspect of our selves online; hackerazzi and security risks notwithstanding.

And what about fame? Can fame happen today without happening on the internet? Not if you are Kim Kardashian, whose bootylicious PR stunt was not an attempt to break into Hollywood but to #BreakTheInternet. Human charity too now lives online, made popular in the #IceBucketChallenge as a form of 'conspicuous compassion'.

So here's the thing about Syzygy's #20Things 2014; it's not that the Internet is everywhere (we knew that), it's that the Internet increasingly defines everything, including ourselves. No more an adjunct or derivative part of our lives, the Internet defines who we are. The European Court of Justice tacitly acknowledged as much with new #RightToBeForgotten legislation to manage reputations that are now built and destroyed by Google search results, not deeds. The #FacebookExperiment rammed home this new reality-defining power of the internet by demonstrating how it could even control our emotions.

As the internet becomes the defining arbiter of reality, there are big opportunities in marketing. Brands have long helped people extend, expand, and strengthen their sense of self, but now marketers have the prospect of assisting digitally. In a world where we increasingly define ourselves through our digitally extended selves, the marketing opportunity is to help people in digital identity construction.

Viewed from this perspective, Amazon's 2014 purchase of for $970m was a smart investment; TwitchTV helps digital identity construction by allowing gamers to project their gaming prowess online.

Similarly, Microsoft will see their purchase of #Minecraft developers Mojang as an opportunity to build on the passion and creativity of 100 million gamers - an endeavour not without risk. Meanwhile, the monster $25bn #AlibabaIPO shows how ecommerce companies are becoming much more than stores, supporting communities, tribes and individual online identities. It's not 'I shop, therefore I am'; it's 'I shop online, therefore I am'.

In sum, if 2013, was the year of the selfie, then 2014 was the year of the digitally 'extended self', the year when the digital extensions of ourselves took control and began to truly define us. What happened on the internet in 2014 was us; we happened on the internet.
Paul Marsden is digital strategist at Syzygy.

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20 reasons why we are in the age of the 'digital self'

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If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to put it online, does it actually happen? The answer, suggested by our wrap-up of internet happenings in 2014, is no. If it doesn't happen online, it doesn't - or may as well not - happen.

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Snapchat stock loses $1.3 billion after Kylie Jenner Tweet

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Snapchat stock loses $1.3 billion after Kylie Jenner Tweet

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Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for Huffington Post

Kylie Jenner is one of the biggest influencers on Snapchat.

But now she says it "is so sad" that nobody opens the app anymore.

Snapchat may have just lost a very influential user.

Kylie Jenner, a member of the Kardashian/Jenner family, tweeted on Wednesday to her 24.5 million followers: "Sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore? Or is it just me... ugh this is so sad."

In a follow-up tweet, she said: "Still love you tho snap ... my first love."

Perhaps Evan Spiegel, the CEO of Snapchat's parent company, Snap, wants to make a call.

Jenner, among the most important people on social media, is one of the first so-called influencers. She has more than 104 million followers on Instagram.

She has used Snapchat in the past to show off a new haircut and give her millions of followers a peek into her family life with her boyfriend, Travis Scott. She's a power user who posts frequently - and if she's seeing less engagement on the platform, that's a bad sign for Snap.

She's also been connected to the company professionally. Last year, she partnered with Snap to broadcast exclusive video on Snapchat in a show called " Ask Kylie."

Snapchat has historically had problems with retaining influencers who have felt more supported by other platforms like Instagram that have special programs for people with lots of followers and provide more data about their posts and followers.

Redesign problems

Jenner's change of heart may be related to a recent and controversial redesign of the Snapchat app.

A petition calling for Snap to bring back the older design garnered 1.2 million signatures, though Snap later said the new format wasn't going anywhere.

Jenner is apparently not a fan of the redesign either.

"Mm just saw the new Snapchat.. I don't know how i feel about it! What do you guys think?" she tweeted earlier this month.

Jenner's followers may not be using Snapchat as much, but the company said earlier this month that the number of people who opened the app daily had increased by 5% in the last quarter of 2017.

But it's still not a good sign for Snap when a massive celebrity says they feel as if nobody is using its app.

Jenner's not getting rid of her account, though. If you'd like to follow her on Snapchat, her username is Kylizzlemynizzl.

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Kylie Jenner just announced the death of Snapchat

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Kylie Jenner is one of the biggest influencers on Snapchat. But now she says it "is so sad" that nobody opens the app anymore. Snapchat may have just lost a very influential user. Kylie Jenner, a member of the Kardashian/Jenner family, tweeted on Wednesday to her 24.5 million followers: "Sooo does anyone else not open Snapchat anymore?

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Phubbing has become such a normal part of life

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Phubbing has become such a normal part of life

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Facebook finally knows that people are tired of clickbait

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Facebook finally knows that people are tired of clickbait

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It is no secret Facebook has made many changes over the past few months to eliminate low-quality content from its News Feed. At first, the changes were directly related to eliminating content that could be seen as "engagement bait."

From there, Facebook communicated with the public on upcoming changes to its algorithm by telling advertisers, "We built Facebook to help people stay connected and bring us closer together with the people that matter to us. That's why we've always put friends and family at the core of the experience."

These moves may be an effort to head off concerns expressed by big spenders like Unilever, with its $9.8 billion annual media budget, which has warned both Facebook and Google that it will stop advertising on platforms that provide havens for "toxic" content - fake news, extremist, racist, sexist and exploitative content.

As an advertiser or a business that has depended on Facebook's News Feed as a core channel for customer engagement, how should you use the platform going forward?

Pay to play

Across social platforms, businesses have always had to promote their content through paid advertising to stay in front of their customers consistently. With Facebook's recent algorithm changes, this will only increase the need for business to utilize Facebook's advertising platform. Across many industries, we have seen increased adoption of Facebook advertising due to the ability to finely target users based on the demographic and behavioral data available.

Brands that have previously seen good organic reach within the News Feed will need to assess what they're losing due to this shift and determine if capturing the lost audiences is worth additional investment. With Facebook already a mainstay in many brands' media plans, a business may decide to shift budget previously allocated to other channels.

Changes to requirements for Facebook advertisers

As we've all seen in the news over the past few months, advertising and the validity of those advertising on Facebook have come into question, specifically around the election. Prior to the changes that went into effect in late 2017, anyone could set up an account and run right-rail ads. Over the past few months, Facebook has continued to put steps in place to eliminate fraudulent advertisers.

The first change is that Facebook now requires advertisements to be connected to a page. While a page can be set up pretty quickly, this is an extra move that needs to be taken.

Secondly, Facebook has been actively testing a new feature in Canada where all of the advertisements running alongside that Facebook page can be accessed and viewed. A repository of the ads will be available at all times for those visiting the page.

This is intended to be a large deterrent, as it could prevent advertisers from running negative or controversial advertisements they do not want tied back to their brand or business. Facebook has committed to rolling this out in the US this year.

The content you can promote has changed

While many businesses promote content that's relevant to their audiences, some advertisers take advantage of users, pushing what Facebook has identified as "engagement bait." The Facebook algorithm, while constantly improving, still heavily weights Likes from your friends as a major factor.

Unfortunately, many people take advantage of this and use content that's considered spam or can be identified as "LikeBait." An example of this would be a post that says, "Like us if you love chocolate!" Knowing that most everyone does love chocolate and that Likes gained in such a way don't actually reflect the qua lity of the content, this is a practice Facebook is looking to eliminate, Facebook is calling this and similar actions that bait users to share or vote "Engagement Bait" and will demote such posts and pages within the News Feed.

Generally speaking, Facebook will leverage an advanced machine-learning algorithm to police the News Feed. This technology was built based on tens of thousands of posts that were reviewed and flagged by humans. By applying machine learning to this data, Facebook feels confident it will improve the content you see every day. As an advertiser, know that this type of content will be flagged almost immediately, preventing it from being promoted.

How to move forward

If you have a business that depends on organic posts for visibility, you may need to revisit your strategy. There will undoubtedly be fewer opportunities for you to appear within the News Feed, so to continue to reach Facebook's audience, you'll need to adopt some of the tactics I've outlined here.
Opinions expressed in this article are those of the guest author and not necessarily Marketing Land. Staff authors are listed here.
About The Author

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Facebook's fight against spam and clickbait and what it means for advertisers

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It is no secret Facebook has made many changes over the past few months to eliminate low-quality content from its News Feed. At first, the changes were directly related to eliminating content that could be seen as "engagement bait."

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Not entirely about digital culture but somehow corresponding to the 'Facebook fake news' experiment

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Not entirely about digital culture but somehow corresponding to the 'Facebook fake news' experiment

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Center Parcs has announced it has stopped advertising in the Daily Mail.

It took the decision after its advert appeared in an online article by columnist Richard Littlejohn that criticised diver Tom Daley and his husband Dustin Lance Black, who are expecting a child.

Littlejohn claimed children "benefit most from being raised by a man and a woman".

Center Parcs said the placement of the advert was "completely unacceptable".

It was responding to a complaint from a person who tweeted: "My son so wants me to book at your parks, but how can I do that if you support homophobia?"

The holiday resort firm responded to the tweet: "We take where we advertise very seriously and have a number of steps to prevent our advertising from appearing alongside inappropriate content.

"We felt this placement was completely unacceptable and therefore ceased advertising with the Daily Mail with immediate effect.

"We apologise for any offence this may have caused."

In his article, Littlejohn said he supported civil partnerships, and would prefer a child to be fostered by "loving gay couples" rather than be "condemned to rot" in state-run institutions.

He added: "That said, and despite the fact that countless single parents do a fantastic job, I still cling to the belief that children benefit most from being brought up by a man and a woman."

London's Southbank Centre earlier announced it would no longer be advertising in the newspaper because of Littlejohn's article.

The move comes after the pressure group Stop Funding Hate posted a tweet naming the brands who advertised in the paper.

A campaign by the same group in November 2017 led stationery chain Paperchase to stop running promotions in the Daily Mail, as did Lego in 2016.

Virgin Trains also announced it would stop selling the Daily Mail on its West Coast services.

However, it reversed the decision days later.

Virgin Group boss Sir Richard Branson said he instructed the firm to restock the paper while a review takes place.

In response, the Daily Mail said it welcomed the "support for freedom of speech".

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Center Parcs has announced it has stopped advertising in the Daily Mail. It took the decision after its advert appeared in an online article by columnist Richard Littlejohn that criticised diver Tom Daley and his husband Dustin Lance Black, who are expecting a child.

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Phubbing is the practice of snubbing others in favor of our mobile phones. We've all been there, as either a victim or perpetrator. We may no longer even notice when we've been phubbed (or are phubbing), it has become such a normal part of life. However, research is revealing the profound impact phubbing can have on our relationships and well-being.

There's an irony in phubbing: When we're staring at our phones, we're often connecting with someone on social media or through texting. Sometimes, we're flipping through our pictures the way we once turned the pages of photo albums, remembering moments with people we love. Unfortunately, however, this can severely disrupt our present-moment, in-person relationships, which also tend to be our most important ones.

The research shows that phubbing isn't harmless - but the studies to date also point the way to a healthier relationship with our phones and with each other.

In a study poignantly titled, "My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone," Meredith David and James Roberts suggest that phubbing can lead to a decline in one of the most important relationships we can have as an adult - the one with our life partner.

According to their study of 145 adults, phubbing decreases marital satisfaction, in part because it leads to conflict over phone use. The team found that by lowering marital satisfaction, phubbing affected a partner's depression and satisfaction with life. A follow-up study by Chinese researchers assessed 243 married adults with similar results: Partner phubbing, because it was associated with lower marital satisfaction, contributed to greater feelings of depression.

Phubbing also shapes our casual friendships. Not surprisingly to anyone who has been phubbed, phone users are generally seen as less polite and attentive. We are extremely attuned to other people. When someone's eyes wander, we intuitively know what brain studies also show: Their mind is also wandering. We feel unheard, disrespected, and disregarded.

A set of studies actually showed that just having a phone out and present during a conversation - say, on the table between you - interferes with your sense of connection to the other person, the feelings of closeness experienced, and the quality of the conversation. This is especially the case during meaningful conversations: You lose the opportunity for true and authentic connection to another person, the core tenet of any friendship or relationship.

In fact, many of the problems with mobile interaction relate to distraction from the physical presence of other people. According to the studies, conversations with no smartphones present are rated as significantly higher in quality than those with smartphones around, regardless of people's age, ethnicity, gender, or mood. We feel more empathy when our smartphones are put away.

This makes sense. When we are on our phones, we are not looking at other people and not reading their facial expressions - (tears in their eyes, frowns, smiles, etc. We don't hear the nuances in their tone of voice (was it shaky with anxiety?) or notice their body posture (slumped and sad, or excited and enthusiastic?).

No wonder phubbing harms relationships.
The Way of the Phubbed
What do "phubbed" people tend to do?

According to a study published in March 2017, they themselves start to turn to social media. Presumably, they do so to seek inclusion. They may turn to their own cell phone to distract themselves from the very painful feelings of being socially neglected. We know from brain-imaging research that being excluded registers in our brain as actual physical pain. Phubbed people in turn become more likely to attach themselves to their phones in unhealthy ways, thereby increasing their own feelings of stress and depression.

A Facebook study shows that how we interact on Facebook affects whether it makes us feel good or bad. When we use social media just to passively view others' posts, our happiness decreases. Another study showed that social media actually makes us more lonely.

"It is ironic that cell phones, originally designed as a communication tool, may actually hinder rather than foster interpersonal connectedness," write Meredith David and James Roberts in their study, "Phubbed and Alone." Their results suggest the creation of a vicious circle: A phubbed individual turns to social media, and their compulsive behavior presumably leads them to phub others - perpetuating and normalizing the practice and problem of "phubbing."

Why do people get into the phubbing habit in the first place? Not surprisingly, fear of missing out and lack of self-control predict phubbing. However, the most important predictor is - to social media, the cell phone, and the internet. Our online addictions have similar brain correlates as physiological addictions, such as to heroine and other drugs. The impact of this addiction is particularly worrisome for children whose brains and social skills are still developing.

Nicholas Kardaras, former clinical professor at Stony Brook Medicine and author of , goes so far as to liken screen time to digital cocaine. And consider this: Our urge to check social media is stronger than the urge for sex, according to research by Chicago University's Wilhelm Hoffman.

These findings come as no surprise - decades of research have shown that our greatest need, after food and shelter, is for positive social connections with other people. We are profoundly social creatures for whom connection and a sense of belonging are crucial for health and happiness. (In fact, the lack thereof is worse for us than smoking, high blood pressure, and obesity.) So, we err sometimes. We look for connection on social media at the cost of face-to-face opportunities for true intimacy.
How to Stop Phubbing
Awareness is the only way to prevent phubbing. Know that what drives you and others is the desire to connect and belong. While you may not be able to control others' behavior, you yourself have opportunities to model something different.

Research by Barbara Fredrickson, beautifully described in her book , suggests that intimacy happens in micro-moments - talking over breakfast, an exchange with the UPS guy, the smile of a child. The key is to be present and mindful. A revealing study showed that we are happiest when we are present, no matter what we are doing. Can we be present with the person in front of us right now, no matter who it is?

Studies by Paula Niedenthal reveal that the most essential and intimate form of connection is eye contact. Yet social media is primarily verbal. Research conducted by scientists, like the GGSC's Dacher Keltner and others, has shown that posture and the most minute facial expressions (the tightening of our lips, the crow's feet of smiling eyes, upturned eyebrows in sympathy or apology) communicate more than our words. Most importantly, they are at the root of empathy - the ability to sense what another person is feeling which is so critical to authentic human connection. Research shows that altruism and compassion also make us happier and healthier, and can even lengthen our lives. True connection thrives on presence, openness, observation, compassion, and vulnerability - as Brené Brown has so beautifully shared in her TED talk and her bestselling book Daring Greatly. It takes courage to connect with another person authentically, yet it is also the key to fulfillment.
If you Are Phubbed
What if you are phubbed? Patience and compassion are key. Understand that the phubber is probably not doing it with malicious intent, but rather following an impulse (perhaps irresistible) to connect. Just like you or I, their goal is not to exclude. On the contrary, they are looking for a feeling of inclusion. After all, a telling sociological study shows that loneliness is rising at an alarming rate in our culture.

What's more, age and gender play a role in people's reactions to phubbing. In studies, older participants and women advocate for more restricted phone use in most social situations. Men differ from women in that they tend to view phone calls as more appropriate in virtually all environments - including, shockingly, intimate settings. Similarly, in classrooms, male students find phubbing far less disturbing than their female counterparts.

Perhaps even worse than disconnecting us from others, however, internet addiction and phubbing disconnect us from ourselves. Plunged into a virtual world, we hunch over a screen, strain our eyes unnecessarily, and tune out completely from our own needs - for sleep, exercise, even food. A disturbing study indicates that for every minute we spend online for leisure, we're not just compromising our relationships, we are also losing precious time for self-care (e.g., sleep and household activities) and productivity.

So, the next time you're with another person, and you feel tempted to pull out your phone - stop. Put it away. Look them in the eyes, and listen to what they have to say. Do it for them, do it for yourself, and do it to make the world a better place.
A version of this article first appeared on the Greater Good Science Center.

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Phubbing-The #1 Phone Habit to Drop For Better Relationships

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Phubbing is the practice of snubbing others in favor of our mobile phones. We've all been there, as either a victim or perpetrator. We may no longer even notice when we've been phubbed (or are phubbing), it has become such a normal part of life.

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The following is from Facebook's Newsroom:

Today, in the US, we're rolling out a preview of Messenger Kids, a new app that makes it easier for kids to safely video chat and message with family and friends when they can't be together in person. After talking to thousands of parents, associations like National PTA, and parenting experts in the US, we found that there's a need for a messaging app that lets kids connect with people they love but also has the level of control parents want.

To give kids and parents a fun, safer solution, we built Messenger Kids, a standalone app that lives on kids' tablets or smartphones but can be controlled from a parent's Facebook account. Whether it's using video chat to talk to grandparents, staying in touch with cousins who live far away, or sending mom a decorated photo while she's working late to say hi, Messenger Kids opens up a new world of online communication to families. This preview is available on the App Store for iPad, iPod touch and iPhone.
Co-Developed With Parents, Kids and Experts
Today, parents are increasingly allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones, but often have questions and concerns about how their kids use them and which apps are appropriate. So when we heard about the need for better apps directly from parents during research and conversations with parents, we knew we needed to develop it alongside the people who were going to use it, as well as experts who could help guide our thinking.

In addition to our research with thousands of parents, we've engaged with over a dozen expert advisors in the areas of child development, online safety and children's media and technology who've helped inform our approach to building our first app for kids. We've also had thought-provoking conversations around topics of responsible online communication, parental controls and much more with organizations like National PTA and Blue Star Families, where we heard firsthand how parents and caregivers approach raising children in today's digitally connected world.

And for the past several months, many families at Messenger and Facebook have used the app and helped come up with some of the key features like the easy-to-use parental controls.
More Fun For Kids, More Control For Parents
Messenger Kids is full of features for kids to connect with the people they love. Once their account is set up by a parent, kids can start a one-on-one or group video chat with parent-approved contacts. The home screen shows them at a glance who they are approved to talk to, and when those contacts are online.

Playful masks, emojis and sound effects bring conversations to life.

In addition to video chat, kids can send photos, videos or text messages to their parent-approved friends and adult relatives, who will receive the messages via their regular Messenger app.

A library of kid-appropriate and specially chosen GIFs, frames, stickers, masks and drawing tools lets them decorate content and express their personalities.

Messenger Kids gives parents more control. Parents fully control the contact list and kids can't connect with contacts that their parent does not approve. Parents control kids accounts and contacts through the Messenger Kids Controls panel in their main Facebook app:
How to Get Started
Every child account on Messenger Kids must be set up by a parent. For parents, setting your child up with a Messenger Kids account is done in four steps:

1. Download: First, download the Messenger Kids app on your child's iPad, iPod touch, or iPhone from the App Store.

2. Authenticate: Then, authenticate your child's device using your own Facebook username and password. This will not create a Facebook account for your child or give them access to your Facebook account.

3. Create an account: Finish the setup process by creating an account for your child, where all you'll need to do is provide their name. Then the device can be handed over to the child so they can start chatting with the family and friends you approve.

4. Add contacts: To add people to your child's approved contact list, go to the Messenger Kids parental controls panel in your main Facebook app. To get there, click on "More" on the bottom right corner in your main Facebook app, and click "Messenger Kids" in the Explore section.

More Information and What's Next
There are no ads in Messenger Kids and your child's information isn't used for ads. It is free to download and there are no in-app purchases. Messenger Kids is also designed to be compliant with the Children's Online Privacy and Protection Act (COPPA).

This preview of Messenger Kids is only available in the US at this time on the Apple App Store, and will be coming to Amazon App Store and Google Play Store in the coming months.

We've worked extensively with parents and families to shape Messenger Kids and we're looking forward to learning and listening as more children and families start to use the iOS preview.

To learn more about Facebook's approach to building technologies for kids and the questions we've asked ourselves and discussed with others along the way, read our Hard Questions blog post.

For more specific information about the app, visit messengerkids.com.

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The following is from Facebook's Newsroom: Today, in the US, we're rolling out a preview of Messenger Kids, a new app that makes it easier for kids to safely video chat and message with family and friends when they can't be together in person. After talking to thousands of parents, associations like National PTA, and...

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Taking a social media detox for a month really opened my eyes to the feelings and motivations I have using Twitter, Facebook, etc. Here's what living without social media for a month is like.

Most people won't admit how much social media means, or has meant, to them. For me, social media has been my life since 2008. I've built multiple businesses using Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other platforms to garner attention, build community and generate revenue.

After six years of heavy social media use (read: nearly every waking hour of every single day) it was time for a break. I was fed up with losing control of my feeds. I was upset with my diminishing social reach due to networks bursting at the seams with users. I also started to become cynical and jealous of people. So for 30 days, I quit social media cold turkey and implemented a self-imposed detox.

The following is a daily journal I kept on the notes app on my iPhone during the 30-day social media detox. If you want to skip the journal, click here to read my final thoughts (and newly added detox tools!).

Day One of living without social media:
*As a heads up, this first journal entry is longer than others.
My morning ritual had changed in previous months from waking up and checking all social networks and email, to only checking Instagram. But on this day, I didn't even touch my phone and went straight to making coffee. Normally I'd stand in the kitchen, scrolling through feeds and clicking notifications, but on this day I thumbed through The Essential Calvin and Hobbes (my form of meditation). I felt the boyish smile on my own face as I flipped the pages of one of my favorite books. From there, it was time to go to my upstairs office and pull the plug.

As I sat down on my giant blue yoga ball and flipped open my Macbook, I placed my coffee on my desk and grabbed my iPhone. I swiped it open, stared at the social media icons littered across the Home screen and pressed my finger on one of them. The icons started to shake and the little "x" bubbles appeared. With a confident ferocity I removed Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Vine, Pinterest, Google+ (although never used) and finally Instagram from my iPhone. None of the apps were opened before deleting, they were simply removed (thus also removing any lingering push notifications I'd get on my phone). This would be the first time since 2008 that I wouldn't have the Twitter and FB apps on my iPhone.

From there, I closed my phone and moved to my laptop. I moved my mouse to my Bookmark Bar in Google Chrome and deleted the shortcuts to FB and Twitter (the only social sites in my toolbar). I typed my Facebook URL into the address bar and quickly navigated to my Settings, while opening another tab to Google "How to turn off all Facebook notifications." Ten seconds later I had turned off email notifications. I closed those tabs and moved to Twitter. One click to Settings and another click later, email notifications were turned off for Twitter as well.

All notifications were turned off. All apps were removed. And I felt an immediate feeling of freedom living without social media.

It was as though I'd lifted a 900-pound silverback gorilla from my back. I could feel myself wanting to go to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, especially on this day because I had just relaunched my personal website the day before (the timing was not only impeccable, it was planned).

After what felt like a few grueling hours, I had spent 30 minutes answering emails. One of my first realizations was just how much time can be wasted browsing social networks without knowing it. I could feel myself wanting to sneak a peek at Facebook, so I decided to get up from my desk and run an errand.

You'd think getting in a car would be an escape from social media and technology, but most of us don't even realize how much we're checking things while driving. I probably glanced down at my phone 20 times during the course of an eight minute drive. Then I hit a stoplight. Like a drug addict reaching for his/her fix, I scooped my phone up from the cupholder and swiped it open. It wasn't until I was staring at a barren Home screen, devoid of red notification icons, that I realized what I was doing. I closed the phone and put it back in the cupholder. As I moved my gaze from the center console to the front windshield I took notice of how beautiful of a day it was. Not a single cloud in the sky and the trees on the sides of the road slowing swaying back and forth in a cool Florida breeze. I rolled down the windows and took the moment of beauty in, completely understanding how often I take for granted amazing weather and a moment of stillness.

Making my way back home I decided to swing through Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee. After placing my order in the drive-thru lane, I happened to look in the sideview mirror and take notice of the lady behind me. From the time I pulled forward from the drive thru speaker, I barely saw her eyes come up from her phone one time. Not while she placed her order. Not while she pulled around a tight corner. Not even while waiting in line. It was at that moment I decided to pay for her drink. Selfishly it wasn't even because I wanted to make her day better, but I did it in hopes that she'd look up from her phone and acknowledge the gesture (or heck, just something else in the world). I paid for the drinks, pulled up, watched her take her [free] drink and was shocked. Not once did her demeanor change or her laser-vision locked on her phone. I shrugged my shoulders and drove home.

The remainder of the day was filled with answering emails, writing a few articles and little fixes with my new website. Typically I close my email inbox at multiple times throughout the day to focus. On this day I caught myself checking email on my phone more often than normal.
The first day of my detox ended with a feeling of relief and freedom. I was relieved that I hadn't caved and secretly checked one of my social accounts. And I had a sense of freedom from the shackles of notifications and rabbit holes of links, photos and feeds.
Fun note: My iPhone battery was at 52% at the end of the day. Prior to that day, I hadn't come close to going even half a day without needing to plug my phone in and charge it.

I woke up in the morning and reached for my phone. Again, my ritual had been to scroll through my Instagram feed upon waking up. I swiped my phone open only to remember Instagram was no longer there. I don't recall how long it was, but I stared at my home screen in bewilderment for quite awhile. What else can I do on my phone? I thought to myself. I checked ESPN.com on Safari and snuck a quick peek at my emails. I felt dirty for looking at my emails.

I got up and started my day like the previous one; making coffee and reading Calvin and Hobbes. When my coffee was done I headed to my desk and opened up my email (now with less guilt). I had quite a few emails from people who were interested in my social media detox. Funny enough, multiple people sent me the " Can We Auto-Correct Humanity? " YouTube video:

I was about 20 seconds in before realizing I had gone to YouTube, a site I was going to stay off for the month. Crap! I felt dirty again.

This brought up a conversation with my girlfriend about YouTube being part of the detox. I decided I would finish watching that video because it was outstanding. But after that, I would abstain from YouTube, mostly due to the time-suck of it.

Throughout the day it felt like things had slowed down considerably. It just seemed like I had much more time than normal. This would become a recurring theme of the 30 days.

This day brought about the first big takeaway from my detox:

So often in my social media life I kid myself into thinking I don't care how much response something I post gets. Often times I'll write and rewrite a status update or tweet many times, hoping that my cleverness, insightfulness or humor will get more attention.

We all do it. We'll take a photo of something, look at it, not like it and take another (or 10 others). We want to capture the perfect moment or share the wittiest update. All because we want the most positive response possible. It's simply human nature and what social media has done to amplify the feelings of acceptance. I could already feel the freedom from worrying about posting something and hoping it would get Likes or Retweets.

Today was the first day I was acutely aware of just how many email notifications I get from social media. One of my email inboxes, which usually has 50-100 messages in it per day was dead quiet. Not a single email came to that inbox. It was shocking when I realized how much of my attention and mental energy probably got sucked away every day just because of that inbox.

I was also noticeably happier today too. Not that I'm normally unhappy, but I often feel stressed or strained. I could sense myself feeling happier (if that makes sense).

This day was a Saturday, one I spent the majority of cleaning and organizing my house. On most Saturdays I try to stay off the Internet, but it rarely happens. This day I was fairly busy, so my phone and laptop were mostly left untouched.

There was a moment later in the day when I finally made the decision to get rid of my entire DVD collection (over 350 DVDs). I took a before and after photo of my DVD shelf. I wanted to share my big decision to let go, only to think to myself: Who cares? I mean, I guess I could inspire someone else who's holding onto to something that doesn't have much value anymore. But instead, I kept the photos for my own memories and moved on.

As a quick aside, 350 DVDs being sold to MovieStop are only worth $490 in store credit or $225 in cash. I chose the cash. Also, the process of selling this many DVDs took about four hours, which was about three hours and 58 minutes longer than I wanted to be standing in a MovieStop store without anything to distract me on my phone.

This was the first day my iPhone felt more like a brick in my pocket than a time-wasting device. I honestly couldn't even think of anything else to do on my phone but keep refreshing my email. It's kind of silly in retrospect since I had the entire Internet at my fingertips, but all I could think about was wasting time on social media sites.

Sundays are the days I sit on the couch for 90% of the day. I'm a huge NFL fan, especially NFL RedZone. Normally I'd tweet something to show my support for the ailing Jacksonville Jaguars, but on this day I simply kept it to myself.

I did get an email from a longtime IWearYourShirt community member named Joby. He's a Pittsburgh native and emailed me a tweet he posted talking trash to me (since the Steelers were playing the Jaguars). I loved his commitment to talking trash and emailed him back some emojis or something silly.

I miss Instagram. It's the only social media site that I keep wishing I could check. I think that's because there's almost zero negativity, complaining or criticism in my photo feed. Instead, it's just beautiful landscapes, cars, people doing cool stuff and random food and art I love. I will definitely be back on Instagram immediately after this detox is over.

A Monday, typically my most active day on social media, was interesting.

I crafted my weekly newsletter to my email list (an explanation of my 30-day social media detox). Normally my email gets posted on my blog and I share it via Twitter and Facebook. On this day, my email was published on my blog and that was it.

I usually receive 5-10 replies to my weekly emails. This email received 72 replies. Many people had no clue I was doing a 30-day social media detox. Even though I'd posted it on all my social accounts the previous week, this goes to show the limited reach of a single update on Twitter or Facebook.

I spent quite a bit of time replying to emails, almost all of them encouraging. Multiple people said they were going to start a detox of their own (though only one person was willing to commit to 30 days).

One thing I did notice myself doing way more than normal on this day was checking my website's traffic and my MailChimp analytics. Truthfully, I rarely ever checked either of those things. I could feel these becoming the new vanity metrics, replacing likes, comments, favorites, etc. I did my best to catch myself refreshing these accounts and moving my attention elsewhere.

Most Mondays end with the feeling of hoping for more. Hoping more people would have enjoyed my weekly newsletter. Hoping more people would have liked it on Facebook. Hoping more people would have tweeted at me about the content. I was actually perfectly happy with the response and enjoyed not worrying (as much) about what people thought.

Day Seven, one week living without social media:
One week into my detox, an experience on this day would lead to one of my biggest takeaways about my current disdain with social media.
While driving to get coffee, my girlfriend checked her Instagram account and asked me if I knew the name of someone who had followed her. The name wasn't familiar, but upon further investigation it was some Internet Marketer that had reached out to me in the past. While looking at this person's Instagram profile we noticed he followed over 6,000 people but only had 800 followers. I completely realize that's a stupid thing to be upset about, but it really irks me when people do that on social media.

It didn't stop there though; the bio this person wrote was awful. He was a self-proclaimed "social media maven, chief defier of gravity..." and some other nonsense. I felt myself getting angry reading his bio and seeing his overly self-promotional and braggadocios photo updates.

Then it hit me: Before the advent of social media, people like this couldn't weasel their way into our personal space and lives.

Social media has allowed people to push their agendas and put their messages in front of us, with barely any way to avoid it.

This was, without a doubt, one of my biggest problems with social media. I may not create projects or ideas that everyone agrees with, but I certainly do my best to not spam other people with them or to be overly pushy. The people who do spam, who do brag, who are sleazy, can get their messages in front of us, whether we like it or not.

Do you like posts like this? Want more?

I consider myself a bit of a human guinea pig. I like trying difficult challenges (like quitting social media for 30 days). If you want to get more of my challenges sent directly to your inbox, get my weekly emails here...

I woke up with a massive headache. I don't ever get headaches, and fun fact, have never once had a fever in my life. I don't know if this has anything to do with the detox, but the timing was certainly noteworthy.

There was a task on my to-do list that's been bumped for months (writing an e-book). I just kept dreading doing it. Today I sat down and was able to knock 2/3's of the task out without taking a break. There wasn't a moment I felt I needed to stop to check FB or Twitter. I was able to focus completely on that task and get the majority of it done in one sitting (which took about two hours of writing).

Proud of myself for making progress on that task, I decided not to overdue it and shut my laptop. One of my goals during this 30-day detox was to read two books a week. I cracked open my first book since the detox started and began reading Steven Pressfield's The War of Art.

Interestingly enough, I realized I had purchased The War of Art a year prior and hadn't once looked at it. I read about 100 pages, enjoying Mr. Pressfield's commentary on resistance. It felt fitting and timely with what I was doing. And I felt great that I had overcome my resistance to taking a break from social media. So meta!

Random thought of the day: Could I sell my Facebook account? Would it be worth something? Is that stupid? Answer: Yes, stupid idea.

No more headache. Phew.

Each week I write an article for Inc.com. This was the first week I think I've ever looked at the amount of shares the article received. Normally I write the article, share it on social and go about my day. Without social sharing and the conversation that ensues, I felt a little void. I guess I tried to fill that void by seeing how many shares the article received throughout the day.

Today was another day I looked at my website analytics more times than I'd like to admit.

With six Skype calls on my calendar, this day flew by fairly quickly. It was fun to get asked over and over again about the detox and how I was "surviving without social media." Kind of funny to think that was a serious question from more than one person.

On one call I did have someone say, "I don't think I could give up Facebook for even a week." My immediate thought was: "Then you need to give up Facebook more than you know!" I didn't actually say that, although I wanted to.

Normally I write my weekly newsletter for my list on Sunday or Monday. Instead, I found myself motivated to write it on this day (Friday). I was also able to write the first draft of the article distraction-free, meaning I didn't stop writing to check any website, email or even my phone.

Just ten days in to my detox I started to feel like my attention span increasing and the length of time I could focus on one task was greatly improving.

Random aside: Jacksonville got its first Trader Joe's and I took a trip to check it out. Normally I would have shared a photo on Instagram or Facebook holding some random vegetable or something. I didn't even think about taking a photo, even when a UPS guy came through the door with multiple large Amazon.com boxes (odd??).

Spent most of the day dealing with Craigslist buyers. So while I was on my phone a bunch, it was almost exclusively to answer questions about the random crap I was selling.

Toward the end of the day I reflected on my social media break. At first I felt grateful that I could create the opportunity to do this, but then I wondered a few things:

Why the heck do I need to be grateful for taking a break from social networks??

Is it stupid to make such a big deal of this?

Will other people care?

I thought about those questions a lot before realizing that social media had taken some control from me. Not just in algorithm changes, although those suck, but in that I felt like I was a slave to them and the conversation or feedback that ensued. I want to be in control of how I feel using something or doing something, not the other way around.

This day ended in a swirl of thoughts and questions, if you couldn't tell.

Another Sunday. Another day for lounging on the couch watching football. GO JAGS!

I mentioned it on Day Three, but I am absolutely much happier and less stressed. I didn't land any big business or launch a successful project. I simply removed stuff from my daily routine that negatively affected my thoughts and feelings.

Day Thirteen:

Monday email newsletter went out and I immediately checked the MailChimp report. I probably checked it 3-4 more times throughout the day, again, way more than normal (most times I don't check it at all).

A random LinkedIn invite email wound up in my inbox. I laughed to myself, realizing LinkedIn wasn't even on my radar as something to take a break from (due to never, ever, ever using it).

I did miss an opportunity to share an overheard comment (OH): "He's dressed like a lesbian from the waist down."

Day Fourteen, a huge increase in productivity starts from my social media detox:

This day was probably one of the most productive days I've had in an incredibly long time. The things I accomplished:

Edited two 30 minute videos (about 90 minutes spent on each)

Edited four 5 minute videos (about 15 minutes spent on each)

Troubleshooted issues for a SaaS product I'm building (including 10 or so in-depth responses)

Finished writing the e-book I mentioned on Day Eight

Wrote the first draft of my weekly Inc.com article (a day earlier than normal)

Opened my email inbox only three times throughout the day (it's normally 10-15)

Outlined an idea for a new project (500 word doc)

Played in a YMCA league basketball game

Cooked dinner with my girlfriend and watched The Voice (yeah, #TeamAdam)

It's safe to say I had more will power and motivation on this day than any I can remember in a very long time. Not once throughout the day did I feel stressed or like I had too many things to do. Everything just kind of clicked into place and got done.

Day Fifteen:

I'd noticed it a few times before, but on this day I realized that because I deleted the FB app from my phone and it was connected to my Contacts, it removed a ton of contacts from my list. Some of which were in my phone before the FB app was ever installed (like my Mom, my GF, and some other friends I text message with often). Not only did this suck because it seemed like a weird security flaw, but I also had to say "sorry, this # isn't in my phone, who dis?" on a few occasions. (I later found out this was an iOS 8 setting in Contacts Group settings).

Also today I went to someone's personal website and they had not one, not two, not three, but four separate pop up boxes on their website to try to get me to sign up for their email list. Seriously, I get it, email marketing is important, but if you need to ask 4 times (abrasively), I'm not interested in whatever emails you're going to spam me with. Ugh, sorry, had to rant about this somewhere.

That brings up an interesting thought about not really having an outlet to rant or share frustrations when not using social media. Maybe I should start a diary? Or just keep writing things in my notes app on my iPhone?

Day Sixteen:

It was bound to happen: I had to login to FB today.

But wait! It was for business reasons, not my own desires...

I needed to give someone access to my FB Ads account and didn't feel comfortable just giving them my login info. With the stealth of a leopard stalking it's prey in the jungle, I logged into FB via the ads URL. In a matter of seconds and just a few clicks, my task was done. Unfortunately, the red notification numbers caught my eye. I didn't click them, but I felt like I had cheated myself.

Also, I wanted to upvote something on Product Hunt and realized I couldn't do it without being logged into Twitter (or having the Twitter app installed on my phone). Having already felt like a "cheater" today, I decided not to login and the upvote wouldn't happen on this day.

From my Monday email, one of the replies was someone who started doing their own 30-day social media detox. I enjoyed this line from their email:
"The biggest benefit has been the removal of negativity and unnecessary information. Some people who were, how do I say this in a nice way...annoying, were still occupying my mind long after I logged off of social media. One thing I know I'll need to do once I'm back is filter my newsfeed and timeline."
I'd made this realization about social media and negativity about a year ago and wrote this article and this article about it.

It made me happy to see someone else being positively impacted by taking a break from social media. Then I thought about how happy I was that they were happy. So much happiness!

Day Seventeen:

Attention span increasing noticeably and not feeling like I need to check other things while working. I actually didn't remember to add an entry about this day in my notes until the morning after Day Seventeen. That's how focused I was on getting work done and being present in other things I was doing.

Day Eighteen & Nineteen:

Lots of football and relaxing over the weekend. Jaguars finally got a win!!! Peyton Manning broke the TD record in the NFL. Both things I would have shared on social media, but instead, I just enjoyed them happening and went on with my life.

Wrote an update post about this social media detox for my newsletter and blog.

Also, I downloaded the Angry Birds Transformers app. That was a bad idea as it was super addictive, hah. After a few hours of non-stop play I deleted the app.

Decided to have a relaxing Monday. So often Monday's are packed with work and are exhausting. Finished up my weekly email, posted it as a blog post, answered a handful of emails and spent the other parts of the day reading by Dave Eggers (a book that was sent to me by my buddy DJ).

Actually started reading The Circle over the weekend, but read almost 200 pages on Monday. Amazingly well-timed read, but that's also because DJ knew I was on this detox. I really really enjoyed it and couldn't stop reading, which never ever happens for me.

Fun fact: This is the first fiction book I've read since James and the Giant Peach when I was a little kid (not kidding).

Day Twenty One, deciding to remove social media apps from my phone for good:

Recorded an interview with Dave Delaney for his podcast ( part one and part two if you're interested). We talked about my book, but more timely, my social media detox. One big question that popped up, and one that's been asked by many people via email: What will I do on social media after the detox is up?

I don't want to get sucked back into social expectations and notification addiction.

Yesterday's email update talked about my big problem with social media (which I mentioned in my Day Seven update). The first clear thought I had about what to do was a weekly update on FB. Maybe it's Friday morning and references my week and anything I want to highlight or share? This won't work for twitter, so I still am on the fence there. I will, however, use Instagram again (as mentioned a few times).

As of right now, I'm 98% certain I won't put the FB or Twitter apps back on my phone again. I don't want to feel tied to them or get back into old habits.

Fun aside: Got a new Kindle in the mail today. While I love reading paperback books, I'm also trying to be more of a minimalist. My first Kindle book? Creativity, Inc by Ed Catmull.

Day Twenty Two:

Had an idea strike!

I was thinking about the second season of the podcast I co-host and how we could generate more revenue from it. The go-to (and we did this with our first season) is to get episode sponsors. While this is all well and good, it's not great or passive income. In a matter of a few hours I outlined the idea I had in a Google Doc, mocked it up in Photoshop and shared it with my co-host Paul Jarvis. We're both really excited about the idea.

Didn't even really think about social media at all. Was focused on working and my big idea.

Amazing to think it took only 21 days to rid myself of something I couldn't imagine living without. I felt an entirely new perspective on my digital life.

I think James Clear would be proud of me. This thought and realization came after reading his weekly email he sends (typically about forming habits).
Update: The idea I mentioned here ended up generating over $41,000 in revenue!
Day Twenty Three:

Thought about this a few times before, but it became more clear today: I was (and many of us are) addicted to social media in the same ways people are addicted to alcohol, drugs, and other vices.

It may sound silly to compare social media abuse to drug or alcohol abuse, but I firmly believe it's very similar at this point. Some recent emails and conversations I've had with people about them doing their own social media detox often had things said like this:

I could take a break from social media whenever I want to, I just don't need a break

I only use social media to waste time

I'm not addicted to social media because I only check it a few times per day

I get all my work done, so I don't need a break from social media

It's not hurting me to be on Facebook all day

Those are real responses from multiple people I'd emailed with or talked to during the month. It's kind of scary how much those same statements reflect the telltale signs of people who have addiction to other things (that we've had years of experience dealing with).

Addiction is a scary thing. It's definitely not something any of us want to admit to. Taking this break from social media has more than proven to me that I was addicted to Facebook and Twitter. Was it an unhealthy addiction? I feel happier, of clearer thought and less stressed out. So yeah, I'd say it was unhealthy.

Day Twenty Four:

Had coffee with a friend. Facetimed with my brother-from-another-mother Ben. Spent the evening eating dinner with friends.

I felt really grateful for all of these interactions. They felt more meaningful to me. None of them needed to be shared on a social network or documented outside of these notes. These were just moments in life I really enjoyed.

Day Twenty Five & Twenty Six:

I finished the book The Circle. Wow. What a great book. And for me to finish a 500-page book in less than a week? That's almost a miracle.

I have a ton of thoughts about Dave Eggers' book. I don't think they necessarily fit here, but it does bring up the discussion of privacy and are we too connected in life? For me, I'm not too concerned about my digital privacy. But I'm not sure I want to get any more connected than I already am.

Was excited that I'd be able to use Instagram again in less than a week.

Day Twenty Seven:

Sent out my weekly newsletter. Finished up some odds and ends.

Realized it had been two full days since plugging my iPhone in to charge it. That's unheard for me. I can't ever remember going one full day without plugging my phone in for a charge.

Tomorrow starts a two week vacation with my girlfriend and my dog Plaxico.

Day Twenty Eight:

Drove to the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina. It couldn't have been more perfect weather for the trip. The trees along the highway were beautiful shades of yellow, orange, red and green. I can't remember an 8+ hour drive feeling so short.

Had a conversation with my girlfriend that was important. I don't want to make people feel like I'm judging them for using social media. I also don't want people to think I think social media is all bad.

Like anything else, I think social media is great in moderation. It's helped me do some amazing things and meet some awesome people. But, I do hope people reflect on their usage of social media and think about taking a break, if nothing else just to see how it makes them feel.

We arrived at our beautiful cabin in the woods right at sunset. I wrote these notes realizing I hadn't taken a single picture of the journey or the place we were staying. Previously I would have probably taken 20 or more.

Day Twenty Nine:

Spent most of the day writing, reading Creativity, Inc and thinking about what my decision would be about returning to social media and my usage schedule. The more I think about returning to social media the less I want to think about it. Does that make sense? I have no idea.

Wrote over 5,000 words on this day. These were spread across my weekly Inc article, my next newsletter and a random paid article. Not once did I feel distracted or wanting to stop writing to check emails, my phone, etc.

I also made some white bean chili in a slow cooker. I tried to make it "healthy" by not adding too many ingredients to it. It tasted like dog food. You're welcome for that bonus info.

It's amazing how much clearer I'm thinking. Along with a bunch of writing and emails, I outlined an entirely new business idea and sent it off to a developer friend for feedback.

It's been awhile since I've had so much clarity and focus in my thoughts. The only thing I can equate it to would be "getting in the zone" in sports.

Whenever I sit down to write, I can do it without the feeling of distraction or procrastination. Whenever I answer emails I can tear through them without breaks. Even during Skype and phone calls I don't have any urges to do other things (even during less than exciting calls).

Again I'm thinking about what I'll do when the detox is over. I don't want to regress back to into old addictive habits.

Day Thirty One of living without social media (last day):

Still on vacation, I started to work on this very post. The more I thought about writing it, the more I thought about the response it would get on social media. How would that affect me? Would I be able to fight the urge to constantly check responses, likes, comments, etc?

I decided to stop writing this post for a week. I didn't want to force myself to write it and share it just because that's what I thought everyone would want. Instead, I worked on it here and there, finishing it at my own pace.

I really value taking control of my time.

Final Thoughts:

I'm not going to completely quit using social media, but I'm going to take control of my use of social media. Not being on social media for a month really opened my eyes to the feelings and motivations I have using Twitter, Facebook, etc. Immediately I felt a sense of freedom. To me, that's a huge takeaway. It literally felt like ripping shackles off my mind and body.

Before social media, there wasn't an opportunity for someone I had no interest in to invade my personal space. Even with filtering and segmenting on social media, you can't avoid the modern day telemarketer. If you have a profile on any network you're incredibly likely to have people push their messages in your face. I know I want less of those situations to happen in my life.

We all care what people think of us. We all want to feel accepted. We all want to feel liked. Social media multiplies those thoughts and feelings without us even realizing it. It's not healthy to always be under the knife of criticism. In a digital world we need a break from having our lives judged and commented on (often times by complete strangers who we don't align with).

My productivity, attention span and clarity of thought all increased greatly with living without social media for a month. I felt like I broke bad habits (refreshing feeds and checking notifications) in a very short period of time. If all of that can be done in just 30 days? It's well worth trying.

I won't be completely quitting social media and I'm not suggesting anyone do that. But I do hope if you're reading this you'll think about taking a break from social media to see how you feel. Start with a weekend or a week, but aim for 30 days. Give yourself a chance to feel how I felt after just one month.

Social Media Detox Tools

Since writing this article, I've found a few free helpful tools (and had a few recommended) to keep you off social media if you embark on a detox of your own:

StayFocusd Chrome Extension - This is the perfect tool if you use Google Chrome as your web browser and want to remove the temptation of checking Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Facebook News Feed Eradicator Chrome Extension - This is less about your full detox, and more just keeping your usage of Facebook more sane by removing the News Feed and replacing it with a quote.

Self Control App - A Mac App that let's you block certain websites (similar to StayFocusd, but not just for Google Chrome).

OurPact - Block social media apps from your phone! Made for parents to control their kid's phone usage, but good for adults who can't help themselves.

If you've read this far, I think you'll enjoy my weekly newsletter...

Every week I share lessons learned about business and life. Sometimes I do experiments, like this social media detox article. Other times, I give the honest truth about what it takes to create your own business(es) and work for yourself while living a life of intention. If that jives with you, Join the Action Army now.

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What I Learned From a 30-Day Social Media Detox

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Most people won't admit how much social media means, or has meant, to them. For me, social media has been my life since 2008. I've built multiple businesses using Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other platforms to garner attention, build community and generate revenue.

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15 Shocking Social Media Statistics That You Didn't Know

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15 Shocking Social Media Statistics That You Didn't Know

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[Source: bytela.com]

A few years ago, social media just used to be an entertainment platform, but today it has become one of the most vital tools for businesses. Today, the world of business has awakened to the power of social media and has realized that it has tremendous potential as marketing and PR tool. Here's a You Tube video posted by Group OMM that reveals how important social media is for your business. Enjoy this thought-provoking video.

Now that you know how important social media is for your business, it's time to get acquainted with some eye-popping stats about social media. But why do you need to know about these stats? The answer is simple! It's because social media landscape is changing faster than you would have ever imagined and to stay abreast with the changing dynamics of social media landscape, you would need to social media statistics.

So, if you're at the helm of a startup or are already managing a small business, get set to explore 15 shocking social media statistics that will make you rethink your business strategy.

1. Instagram Witnesses 55 Million Images Uploads Every day

Started as a trendy iOS-only app, Instagram has quickly become the talk of the town, especially after its collaboration with Facebook. Expandedramblings.com reveals that around 13% of the total Internet population accesses Instagram daily and around 5 million images are uploaded every day. Quite naturally, Instagram remains an ideal platform for sharing business photos and behind the curtain scoops of your brand.

2. 120,000 Tweets Are Sent Every Second

Are you a young startup or a small business looking to expand your social reach? If you're nodding your head in yes, make your way to twitter! Smallbusiness.yahoo.com reveals that around 120,000 tweets are sent every second. So, do well to follow relevant users, start discussions and build relationships by responding to tweets, re-tweets and favorites.

3. An Average User Visits Pinterest for 89 Minutes per Month

Statista reveals that an average user visits Pinterest for about 89 minutes per month. Now that's translates to around 1.5 hours per month. And if you're able to make the right use of these 1.5 hours per month and represent your brand perfectly on Pinterest, you're sure to garner a lot of likes and repins for your brand.

4. 83% Pinterest Users are Women

[Source: thesocialmediaexpert.in]

Grabstats.com reveals that 83% Of Pinterest users are women. Considering that women make up a vast majority of Pinterest users, the most popular categories on Pinterest include clothes, crafts, and food. Now, this is one opportunity no business would want to miss out on. Use Pinterest to drive traffic to your website by cultivating hobby-specific communities including graphic design, photography, adventure and other visually appealing fads.

5. Facebook Is the Most Visited Social Site

This might not shock you, but with more than 70 percent netizens, Facebook is the top ranking social media site by far. Not only does Facebook have maximum number of users, it's the most-frequently used social site in the world. Projectsocialize.com reveals that 74% of consumers rely on social media to make purchasing decisions, and 51% of Facebook users are more likely to buy the products of brands they follow online. So, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Facebook remains an important channel for any business looking to increase their bottom line.

6. Facebook Shares Influence Google Search Rankings

[Source: smcubedconsulting.com]

This could really be a helpful piece of information for businesses trying to improve their site ranking on Google. Having compelling and dynamic content with proper and relevant back links on Facebook to support your brand can go a long way in effectively improving your site ranking on Google.

7. An Average Consumer Talks about Brands Almost 90 times Per Week

[Source: thenextweb.com]

Statista reveals that an average consumer discusses, mentions, shares or talks about the brand they follow around 90 times a week. Now, that's a big number. So, it pays to build relationship with your consumers and followers on social media as you are likely to be mentioned as a part of the social conversation.

8. 51% Facebook and 64% Twitter Users Buy Products from Brands They Follow

[Source: 2ndoffice.co]

Projectsocialize.com reveals that around 64% of Twitter users and 51% of Facebook users are more likely to buy the products of brands they follow online. This makes it important to cultivate a brand and a build a loyal community of followers on vital social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter.

9. 53% Buyers Recommend Products and Companies on Twitter

[Source: marketinginteractions.typepad.com]

In an article published on Projectsocialize.com, writer Daniella Alvarez-Castillo reveals that around 53% of people recommend companies and products on Twitter. With this much percentage of people recommending your products and company, do you need a better online medium of business promotion; think over it. What's more invigorating is that you don't need to pay for drawing in so many new customers!

10. 56% People Visit Facebook Daily

[Source: jamiedunham.wordpress.com]

Nearly 56% Facebook users check their accounts daily, that means, you can plan your daily marketing strategies accordingly to reach out to masses. However, save yourself from overdoing things and concentrate on simply posting fresh, good and relevant content that allows for better user engagement on a day-to-day basis.

11. An Average User Devotes 17 Minutes per Month on LinkedIn

[Source: slideshare.net]

Branddrivendigital.com reveals that an average user devotes 17 minutes per month on LinkedIn. So, it pays to become highly active on LinkedIn, get connected and start participating in relevant groups discussions in order to bring in more leads to your business.

12. Google +1 Button Is Hit 5 Billion Times Each Day

[Source: blog.datarank.com]

Often ignored by brands, Google+ is the third most active social media networking platform. So, you haven't considered the platform seriously till now, explore it today to drive in the substantial amount of traffic to your website.

13. 50% Shoppers Follow Social Media Recommendations for Purchases

[Source: pixshark.com]

Projectsocialize.com reveals that around 50% of shoppers make their purchase based on a recommendation through a social media network. So, if you are not taking note of it, it's you who is going to lose. So, what is required for driving in the people in your favor; Active communication, participation and presence in social media activities from your side.

14. 45% Netizens Read and Follows Business Blogs

[Source: www.sage.com]

Though this does not relate to direct marketing, the power of blogging can effectively be explored to drive in the traffic and lay solid foundations of your site's SEO. Technorati Media's 2013 Digital Influence Report reveals that 45% of the total Internet population and around 60% of the total US population actively reads and follows blogs. 29% of consumers pin down their trust on business blogs. 31% of consumers believed that authoritative blogs influence their purchase decisions. No wonder, blogs remain vital to improve your web rank, communicate with potential customers, build trust and gain influence in the market.

15. 800 Million Users Spend 15 Minutes Per Day on YouTube

You Tube videos have successfully laid the foundation of many startups and small businesses. Dollar Shave club is a classic example of the same. You would be surprised to know that around 800 million users spend a minimum of 15 minutes per day on YouTube. So, it makes sense to give your business that much desired boost by posting videos of your business, products and services on YouTube. Since it's completely free of cost, you can effectively explore the true potential of YouTube to bring in traffic to your site.
create your logo

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Social Media Statistics That You Didn't Know

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A few years ago, social media just used to be an entertainment platform, but today it has become one of the most vital tools for businesses. Today, the world of business has awakened to the power of social media and has realized that it has tremendous potential as marketing and PR tool.

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Snapchat Wants To Know Where You're Taking That Ugly Selfie

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Snapchat Wants To Know Where You're Taking That Ugly Selfie

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Snapchat's latest update gave users the ability to send self-deleting SMS messages and videos to their friends. Lauded by tech blogs as brilliant, the update became undeniably popular almost instantaneously.

In 16 years of teaching I can't think of anything that has ever disrupted my classroom more than today's @snapchat update.
- Tracie Schroeder (@bravesearth) May 1, 2014

But the update has come with an unexpected cost that has nothing to do with Snapchat's added functionality. Those who want to use Snapchat's filters to add a little color boost to their photos will now have to turn on the app's Location Services to do so.

Snapchat's previous version split the filters into two categories: the location-based Smart Filters, which required location data to share information like temperature, speed or time of day; or the Visual Filters, which affect saturation and color, like an Instagram filter. Users could opt to turn on one category of filter over the other (or both) if they wanted, meaning those users who were concerned about sharing their location data could still use the Visual Filters.

The new Snapchat offers no such option. All filters are lumped together in one On-Off toggle option, which requires your Location Services to be turned on before you can use them, as shown in the picture below:

To use any of Snapchat's filters, users must first allow the app to view their location data.

A Snapchat spokesperson did assure the Daily Dot that the use of Location Services data is just for the fun filters, saying, "We rely on location services to provide useful filters, such as speed and weather. We don't keep locational data, and we don't associate it with any usernames."

But those who remember the New Year's Eve data leak, in which an anonymous website revealed 4.2 million Snapchat usernames and phone numbers, might be feeling a bit uneasy.

The question that remains is why Snapchat decided to bundle the filters in the first place. It's understandable why such data would be needed to provide accurate speed, temperature or time; but to just put a sepia tone on an ugly selfie, users shouldn't have to provide more data than necessary.

Those of you concerned about location data should just stick to filterless photos from now on.

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Snapchat Wants To Know Where You're Taking That Ugly Selfie

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Snapchat's latest update gave users the ability to send self-deleting SMS messages and videos to their friends. Lauded by tech blogs as brilliant, the update became undeniably popular almost instantaneously. In 16 years of teaching I can't think of anything that has ever disrupted my classroom more than today's @snapchat update.

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It takes so much work to make a good-looking selfie

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It takes so much work to make a good-looking selfie

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"The ugly selfie, then, is a kind of playful slice of authenticity in an age where everything seems airbrushed to perfection," NYT's Jessica Bennett writes. The movement has picked up steam on the Internet with Tumblrs like Pretty Girls Making Ugly Faces garnering loads of notes and reblogs faster than an ugly selfie disappears on Snapchat. The squished faces might not ever grace the cover of, say, Vogue, but the attention they draw and our ability to poke a little fun at ourselves is refreshing. Achieving the perfect selfie requires a lot of work, a lot of retakes, and a lot of time choosing which filter looks best. The ugly selfie, however, takes seconds: squinch, cross the eyes, and snap. After all, word on the street is the uglier the selfie, the closer the friendship. Happy snapping. ( The New York Times)

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Ugly Selfies New Social Media Trend SnapChat Instagram

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"The ugly selfie, then, is a kind of playful slice of authenticity in an age where everything seems airbrushed to perfection," NYT's Jessica Bennett writes. The movement has picked up steam on the Internet with Tumblrs like Pretty Girls Making Ugly Faces garnering loads of notes and reblogs faster than an ugly selfie disappears on Snapchat.

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Instagram is one of those apps that my finger just automatically taps open whenever I have my phone out. Why be bored when you can scroll through all of the memes and perfectly-filtered photos, right? As it turns out, Instagram is now making people aware of exactly how often you are on the app with its new (slightly creepy) update concerning your current Activity Status. It's not a permanent Big Brother situation, though, because there are a couple of steps you can take to regain your privacy. So, how do you turn off Instagram's last active feature?

Thankfully, it's pretty simple to turn off the update that displays your current Activity Status to your followers who you interact with using Instagram Direct messaging. The other good news is that your last active status is only visible within Instagram Direct, and the only people who will be be alerted to your Activity Status are the people who you follow on the app, according to the Instagram website. So, Instagram won't be broadcasting when you were last active right there on your homepage (phew!).

Even though the scope of those people who can see your Activity Status is manageable, you can still turn off the last active feature so that no one will be able to get wise to your Instagram habits.

First off, you'll need to make sure that your Instagram app is updated with version 25 of the app that was released in December 2017, since that is when the Activity Status update was added to the app. Once you've confirmed that your friends do, in fact, know more than they need to about your Instagram life, you can disable the feature that shows when you were last active.

To turn off the Activity Status feature, tap on the "Profile" icon (the circle with your profile picture in it) that is located in the lower right-hand corner of the app. Then, tap on "Settings" (the circle icon just to the right of "Edit Profile") near the top of your profile. Once you're in the Settings, scroll down to where it says "Show Activity Status" and toggle it off. You'll know it is disabled when the bar next to it is white - and then you can continue liking all the adorable puppy photos you want.

Instagram/Screenshot by Collette Reitz

Once you've disabled the visibility of when you were last active on Instagram, you'll also no longer be able to see when other accounts were last active. So when you turn off the Activity Status feature, you're disabling the feature entirely. Honestly, it sounds like it's worth not knowing when other people are tinkering in Instagram for the sake for your own privacy. Everyone's just in it for the likes anyway, right?

Speaking of those coveted double-taps, Instagram also recently released another feature, which you are not going to want to disable. On Tuesday, Jan. 23, Instagram announced that users can now add GIF stickers in their Instagram Stories. The new animated GIF stickers are powered by Giphy, and they are the perfect way to spruce up any Instagram Story. Before you add that next photo or video to your Story, you'll want to pop into the Stickers icon and add some celebratory sparkles or confetti to give it a little something extra.

Considering that these new GIF stickers will have you spending a lot of time on Instagram, it's a good thing that you now know how to keep all of your Instagram activity on the down-low when you disable your Activity Status. Whether you're spending your time filtering your favorite photos from the weekend or seriously upping your Instagram Story game, you can rest easy knowing that the only one aware of your Instagram activity is you.

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If You're Creeped Out By Instagram's New Feature, Here's A Way To Turn It Off

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Instagram is one of those apps that my finger just automatically taps open whenever I have my phone out. Why be bored when you can scroll through all of the memes and perfectly-filtered photos, right? As it turns out, Instagram is now making people a...

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The internet is destroying and improving my life at the same time

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The internet is destroying and improving my life at the same time

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5 Crazy Ways Social Media Is Changing Your Brain Right Now

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searching for information about the blackout assignment and saw this

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3. Control your apps

To restrict your phone constantly tempting you to check it with endless notifications, customise what apps can send push notifications.

On Android you can do this by going to Settings -> Sound & notification -> App notifications. All of the apps are listed here and you can go through them and turn notifications off.

For iOS users open up Settings and the list of apps is at the bottom. It's a good idea to disable background app refresh on iOS devices by going to Settings -> General -> either turn off refresh altogether or disable it for certain apps. This also helps save on data usage.

It would be a good idea to turn notifications off for email so that it only updates when you open the app and manually refresh it. This is also a great way to extend your phone's battery life.

4. Cut email and social media chaff

The start of a digital detox is also a good time to clean up your email and social media accounts. When unsubscribing from those mailing lists you always get messages from but never check, apps such as Unroll.me can help.

Do a cull of who you follow on social media and limit the occasions when sites such as Facebook can send you notifications.

For example, on Facebook go to Settings -> Account Settings -> Notifications and you can choose whether or not to be notified for events such as birthdays, close friends' activity, group posts and apps. You can also choose not to be notified about certain posts as they come up.

5. Get rid of those enticing red notification bubbles

One of the greatest temptresses on iOS is the little red bubbles that tell you you've got a message, update or the like waiting for you within an app. To remove the added lure to check Facebook, Tinder or the the BBC, you can disable the red notifications.

Go to Settings -> Notifications -> pick and app and toggle Badge App Icon to off.

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Digital detox: 11 easy ways to take yourself offline this weekend

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To restrict your phone constantly tempting you to check it with endless notifications, customise what apps can send push notifications. On Android you can do this by going to Settings -> Sound & notification -> App notifications. All of the apps are listed here and you can go through them and turn notifications off.