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Here's a quiz (online or paper) to help you learn your child's love language. This will help you to better understand them, show your love for them, and communicate with them!

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Love Language Profile for Children - The 5 Love Languages®

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If they haven't done so already, ask your parents to read the tips for parents. Then, have them guess what the answer to the Love Language Mystery will be and secretly write down that guess on a piece of paper for later (no peeking). Each clue box has two comments that parents sometimes make to ...

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The difference between healthy perfectionists and dysfunctional perfectionists, along with 9 ways to help students move to healthy!

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The Connecticut Association for the Gifted is dedicated to providing an organization for Educators, Psychologists, Parents, Policy Makers, and others to learn about the unique educational and affective needs of gifted and talented children and how to meet these needs effectively in our schools, families, and communities.

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Categories of Underachievers and Descriptions

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Categories of Underachievers and Descriptions

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Types of Underachievers, characteristics, and how parents and teachers can help!

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Calm an Anxious Child with these Phrases

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Calm an Anxious Child with these Phrases

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These are incredibly helpful in the gifted classroom, the regular classroom, and at home.

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It's time for school. The bus will arrive any minute. Maybe today will be the day!

But then you hear it: "Mom, I don't want to go to school."

Your heart sinks. Here we go again. Every day it's the same conversation. The same conversation that usually ends up in tears, missing the bus and late for school again.

"You'll be fine, honey!" you say cheerfully. "There's nothing to worry about!"

But your words fall on deaf ears. Your child is fully convinced that everything will NOT be ok and that there are PLENTY of things to worry about. Sighing, you sit down on the couch, wracking your brain for something more helpful to say.

If your child struggles with anxiety, you know the challenge of finding the right things to say when he or she is worried. It's not easy to connect without making the fears worse, while at the same time offering support and encouragement.

Are you curious how you can help calm an anxious child?
Today, my good friend and parent coach, Nicole from Imperfect Families, is here to give some amazing tips on how to respond to your anxious child.
Rather than telling your child "You'll be fine," or "Don't worry about it," try one of these phrases the next time your child is feeling worried:

What to Say to Help an Anxious Child Calm Down

"What do you want to tell your worry?" Explain to your child that worry is like an annoying "worry bug" that hangs around telling them to be worried. Create a few phrases, then give them permission to talk back to this "worry bug." They can even be bossy: "Go away!" or "I don't have to listen to you!" Use silly voices, and try it loud and quiet.

"Can you draw it?" Many kids cannot express their emotions with words. Encourage them to draw, paint or create their worries on paper. When they are finished, make observations, and give them a chance to explain the significance: "That's a lot of blue!"

"Let's change the ending." Anxious children often feel stuck in the same pattern without a way out. Help them see different options by telling their story, but leaving off the ending. Then, create a few new endings. Some can be silly, but at least one should be realistic for your child. Focus on your child conquering their fears with confidence!

"Which calming strategy do you want to use?" Work proactively to create a long list of calming strategies your child enjoys. Practice them during the day, at random times when your child feels calm. When your child feels a worry sneaking into their thoughts, encourage them to pick something from the list.

Anxiety and worry look different for every child. Not every one of these strategies will work for your kids. You are the expert on your child. If you try something and it makes their worries worse, don't panic. Just pick something else from the list to try next time. Eventually, you will find a few phrases that are effective for sending a calm, encouraging and empowering message to your child.

When My Worries Get too Big is a great addition to add to any library if you have a child who worries or is anxious. Engaging and easy to read, this illustrated children s book is filled with opportunities for children to participate in developing their own self-calming strategies. Children who use the simple strategies in this charming book, illustrated by the author, will find themselves relaxed and ready to focus on work or play!

The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day is chocked full of empowering tools and strategies to beat the worries and fear. A first of its kind, the book is written to the child and gives them the science and language behind why they do what they do, while giving them tools to fill their toolbox to conquer each and every day.

Changing Your Anxious Child's Inner Thoughts...

The truth is...

Kids are constantly being told they aren't good enough, not smart enough, not calm enough, just plain and simple...

not enough.

What would happen if instead of telling kids they are not enough, we changed the way we saw our children and we changed their inner language?

My new book, The Superkids Activity Guide, is aimed to empower ALL kids to speak up, share their superpowers and learn why they do the things they do so they can advocate for themselves!!

The book has a manifesto that I stand behind 100%. I believe all children should believe these things about themselves and often wish I had believed these things to be true as a child myself.

This is a small excerpt:

"Go ahead and say it, so you believe it: "I am a SUPERKID."

There, didn't that feel good? Go ahead and say it one more time, just to make sure it sinks in: "I am a SUPERKID."

Before you start to think of all the reasons you can't possibly be a superkid, I want to stop you. You see, even the most famous rock stars have doubt and don't believe in themselves every day. This doesn't mean they are any less super. And even superheroes have struggles and pitfalls. That doesn't make them any less super, either. The truth is, despite your struggles, your mistakes, or your bad days...YOU ARE A SUPERKID. The Superkids Manifesto is yours. I want you to own it.

You are unique.
You are adventurous.
You are spirited.
You are creative.
You are fierce.

You are a SUPERKID.

You are going to conquer the world and I am going to help you every step of the way... "

In order to make this movement touch every corner of the globe, we need YOU!!!
Click Here to Join the Superkids Movement Today!
Print this Free Phrases Cheat Sheet to Help Your Anxious Child in the Moment

This post comes with a free printable to help with you in a bind.

I have made a simple printable for you that has all of these phrases in a simple and easy to display format. Place it on the fridge, in a frame or even in your child's calm down spot so they remember them as well. Don't get caught struggling to remember your options!

This printable simplifies it!

Here is a sneak preview...

Download Your Free Printable

1. Download the checklist. You'll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter! Click Here to Download and Subscribe

2. Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.

3. Place it on your refrigerator.

Note: If your child's worries are impacting their school functioning, sleep or eating habits, or are negatively impacting their daily routine, seek support from a mental health professional.
Nicole Schwarz is a mom to 3 little girls, a Licensed Therapist and Parent Coach. Check out her blog, Imperfect Families for more positive parenting tips and learn more about how Parent Coaching can help you find solutions to your parenting challenges.

Check out these Parenting Resources from Nicole:
Parent coaching sessions
Loving an Anxious Child
How to Break the Cycle of Anxiety in Your Family
Need More Help with Your Anxious Child?

I have been researching for the last two years to find the best resources for calming an anxious child and I think I have found some pretty amazing secrets that I can't wait to share with you!

Finally, you want to build your toolkit. You can't possibly anticipate every problem that will occur or everything your child will worry about. But you can be prepared. That's where Calm the Chaos | The Behavior Workshop comes in.

Registration for Calm the Chaos : The Behavior Workshop (a FREE 4 part video series) is closed right now, but you can get on the notification list. It will be starting May 2018.

Here's the link: CLICK HERE for the Behavior Workshop

Kids that struggle with anxiety are often mislabeled as shy, emotional, sensitive and moody. What if we could change the way the world saw these kids, and better yet... change the way they saw themselves?

For simple games and activities that enable you to see your child as the Superkid they already are, instead of feeling lost, confused and in a constant battle with your child, please consider The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day.

Click here to get your copy of the best-selling book today.
What started as a simple guide with 75 simple crafts, games and activities to help adults and kids manage the most difficult parts of the day (mornings, wait times, mealtime, playtime, learning, and nighttime),The Superkids Activity Guide has quickly become a movement, reaching millions of people on Facebook alone.

The Superkids Movement and Activity Guide is aimed to empower ALL kids to speak up, share their superpowers and learn why they do the things they do so they can advocate for themselves!!

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13 Powerful Phrases Proven to Help an Anxious Child Calm Down

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It's time for school. The bus will arrive any minute. Maybe today will be the day! But then you hear it: "Mom, I don't want to go to school." Your heart sinks. Here we go again. Every day it's the same conversation.

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How You Might (Unknowingly) Be Contributing to Your Child's Anxiety

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How You Might (Unknowingly) Be Contributing to Your Child's Anxiety

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6 Ways Good Parents Contribute to Their Child's Anxiety - Brief article from the Washington Post that has some great points. Very relatable and understandable.

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Kids have it hard these days.

It doesn't seem like it when they're playing on their $500 tech gadgets, but they do. Twenty-first century living is taking its toll, and many kids are finding it hard to cope.

The number of children dealing with anxiety has been increasing steadily for decades, with up to 25 percent of teenagers now suffering from diagnosable anxiety disorders.

I know as a parent I can be part of the problem or part of the solution. And more often than I care to admit, I'm in the wrong camp.

Your child's anxiety is not your fault, but it's possible that some of the parenting practices you're most proud of are actually making things worse.

Caring too much. When your child comes home from school with tales of mean girls, aggressive boys and insensitive teachers, you feel for her, and often you let it show, but maybe you shouldn't. Our kids feed off our emotions and get more distressed when we're distressed. When my daughter communicates her worries to me, only to have me start worrying too, it definitely makes things worse. She needs me to be strong, but instead I inadvertently send the message that anxiety is the 'right' reaction to her problems. Difficult though it is, we need to keep our own anxiety in check while sympathizing with theirs. We have to be the emotional rock: the person who understands, supports and (if asked) advises, without ever showing that their problems make us feel anxious too.

Advocating too hard. We all want to stand up for our kids, but our eagerness to advocate can sometimes actually raise anxiety levels. If your child shares a school problem with you, your first instinct is often to march into the school and try and resolve it. This tells your child two things. Firstly he can't tell you something in confidence, and secondly you don't have faith in him to fix his own problems. Make sure your children know you will only advocate on their behalf with their full knowledge and consent. Your first priority should be to help them find a solution they can implement without your help, every time.

Compensating for weaknesses. We all want to help our children with the things they struggle with. One bad grade in math and we engage a tutor. One issue with a bully and we buy them a book about dealing with bullies. Unintentionally, though, we're encouraging them to focus on the negative. Most of us get our confidence not from compensating for weaknesses, but on playing to our strengths. Those of us who are truly happy with our adult lives have learned to do the things we're good at and not stress about the rest. We probably delegate or outsource the things we're really bad at. Children can't always avoid their weak areas, but by focusing on strengths we build self-efficacy and confidence. Next time you're tempted to spend the weekend researching math tutors because your child is doing poorly in math, consider instead spending all weekend doing things he's good at. His sense of confidence and competence will return. It may even carry over to his next math class.

Overplaying strengths. Yes, I know I just said focus on strengths, and we totally should. Just not to the point that our expectations cause more anxiety. When you constantly tell people your son is on track for a top college, or your daughter is going to be an Olympic gymnast, you feel like you're building them up, but eventually the positive affirmation turns to pressure. Compliment your kids when they excel, but don't make their excellence a reason to expect even more from them. Overly high expectations can create performance anxiety where there used to be joy and personal fulfillment.

Having great values. You've probably worked hard to encourage good values in your children, but values get challenged and being too attached to yours could mean your child obsesses over them. There's been more than one tragic case of young people committing suicide over incidents that should never have led to a loss of life. From posting nude photos to watching pornography, sometimes kids make poor choices, and the thought of family finding out can seem like a fate worse than death. Let your children know that while values are important, you understand the realities and temptations they face. Don't create a culture where your children are too anxious to come to you and admit they messed up, or are under pressure to mess up, because they fear you'll judge them or their friends.

[Why I let my children see me argue with my husband]

Hiding your troubles. We all like to protect our children from anxiety by not worrying them with our own issues. If we're struggling financially or fighting with our spouse, we think our children are better off not knowing. But they do know. They're super perceptive. They just don't know the whole story, so they blow it out of all proportion, especially if they're already suffering from anxiety. Should we pile our own troubles on our child's shoulders? No, but it doesn't hurt to be honest about what our concerns are and, more importantly, what we're doing about it. By sharing what makes us anxious and how we deal with it, we're modelling practical ways to resolve anxiety.
Karen Banes is a freelance writer and parent with a degree in Child and Family Studies. You can see more of her work at karenbanes.com or follow her on Twitter. Like On Parenting on Facebook for more essays, advice and news. You can sign up here for our newsletter. You can find us at washingtonpost.com/onparenting. You might also be interested in: My child is a perfectionist. Here's how we find balance. Why I'm okay with my son late-night texting me The day I broke the door, and got control of my life

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6 ways good parents contribute to their child's anxiety

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Kids have it hard these days. It doesn't seem like it when they're playing on their $500 tech gadgets, but they do. Twenty-first century living is taking its toll, and many kids are finding it hard to cope.

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Sylvia Rimm Interview on Perfectionism in the Gifted

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Sylvia Rimm Interview on Perfectionism in the Gifted

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Great overview on what perfectionism is, ideas to help children with perfectionism, and more.

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Sylvia Rimm on Perfectionism in the Gifted - An Interview by SENG's Editor-in-Chief, Michael Shaughnessy
Q: Dr. Rimm, why does perfectionism seem to be a problem for gifted children?
A: Perfectionism is very close to excellence, and, of course, parents and teachers encourage excellence in children. In our great excitement at their performance, we describe their work as perfect and we award A plusses and 100 percent-all very deserving and appropriate. In fact, many gifted children go several years without the experience of making mistakes in school. Being perfect, right, and smartest easily becomes part of their persona, a persona developed by a combination of who they are and what the important adults and peers in their lives expect of them. Many talent areas demand excellence, such as music, dance, and gymnastics. Gifted children deliver this excellence, and it becomes both a good and bad habit-good when they strive for excellence; and bad when they can't tolerate mistakes or criticism, or when their fears of a less than perfect performance prevent their performing at all.
Q: Are there different types of perfectionism?
A: Yes, children can be perfectionistic in only one area, such as art or sports. Perfectionism can also become pervasive and compulsive. Some experts talk about good and bad perfectionism; others differentiate between excellence and perfectionism with the latter being problematic and the first being appropriate. If we have surgery done to us, we would like our surgeon to do it perfectly. Even when we hear a solo violinist or watch a ballet, we have come to expect perfection. Perfect shots on the basketball court score points, and so on. As you see, we have a love/hate relationship with perfectionism.
Q: Would you say perfectionism is a social or an emotional problem?
A: When perfectionism interferes with productive achievement and a happy lifestyle, it is a social and an emotional problem. For example, gifted underachievers are often, but not always, perfectionists. They view themselves as either "A" students or failures. I've heard more than one tween or teen admit to me or their parents that if they can't get A's, there is just no reason to do their work. Sometimes they don't admit this either to me or even to themselves, but you can see their motivation change as they recognize they can get A's again. Perfectionism is both a social and an emotional problem when it becomes extreme. If it is only a slight emotional problem, parents and teachers can work with it at home and in the classroom. We should always be trying to encourage excellence while preventing perfectionism, a delicate balance.
Q: How can parents and teachers best deal with a child's perfectionism?
A: There are many things that parents and teachers can do, but please don't worry if you can't do them perfectly! Here are a few:

Praise moderately at least most of the time. Calling a child a good thinker is much better than saying he or she is the smartest or best student, is brilliant, or is a natural athlete. This is not so easy with highly gifted children, so if you slip once in a while, don't be too hard on yourself.

Help kids feel satisfied when they have done their best, not necessarily when they have done the best compared to others.

Read biographies together that show that successful people made mistakes and experienced failures. Emphasize the failures and rejections as well as the successes. You might ask children how they think those successful people must have felt when they were failing: discouraged, temporarily depressed, or confident and optimistic? As you think together of how others stayed motivated, your children or students can find their own solutions in dealing with their disappointments.

Help children learn to laugh at themselves and their own mistakes, and be a model for them by laughing at some of your own mistakes or expressing your own frustration and moving forward.

Editor's note: For more suggestions, see "What's Wrong with Perfect?" at Dr. Rimm's Web site,www.sylviarimm.com Q: Do some children with perfectionistic tendencies require counseling?
A: When perfectionism interferes with school work, extra curricular activities, or a healthy social life, children definitely need counseling. If perfectionists exhibit symptoms of anxiety such as sleeplessness, avoidance of activities, eating disorders, or continuous headaches or stomach aches, they are likely to need counseling. Sometimes the symptoms aren't obvious, so parents and teachers must listen and observe carefully.
In counseling, we help children to learn from mistakes, set reasonable expectations of themselves and others, develop personal relaxation strategies, and and develop balance in their lives. If perfectionism is extreme, as in eating disorders or depression, counseling can become extensive and complicated.
Q: Do boys and girls have different types of perfectionistic tendencies?
A: Every study of perfectionism finds many more girls to be perfectionistic than boys. In my study of successful women for my book See Jane Win: The Rimm Report on 100 Successful Women, we found that more than a third of the women remembered themselves as being perfectionistic as teens. In our interviews, many of the women reported on how they had to learn to accept criticism and talk to themselves about building their self confidence during difficult junctures in their careers.

There are also many boys who are perfectionistic. Perfectionistic boys are often helped by being involved in sports where they can learn to have plenty of mistakes and still help their teams. Encouraging kids to participate in activities which they can enjoy without being the best can help both boys and girls appreciate themselves without pressure.
Sylvia B. Rimm, PhD., is a psychologist, director of Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, and is a clinical professor at Case Western Reserve School of Medicine. Families come from all over the United States for help. She has authored many books including How to Parent So Children Will Learn and Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades, both 2008 National Best Books award winners from USA Book News. In addition, Dr. Rimm has written Growing Up Too Fast, Keys to Parenting the Gifted Child, Raising Preschoolers, See Jane Win®, How Jane Won, and See Jane Win® For Girls. See Jane Win®, a New York Times Bestseller, was featured on the Oprah Winfrey and Today shows and in People Magazine. Her book, Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children, was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award.

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Sylvia Rimm on Perfectionism in the Gifted - An Interview by SENG's Editor-in-Chief, Michael Shaughnessy - SENG

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Sylvia Rimm on Perfectionism in the Gifted - An Interview by SENG's Editor-in-Chief, Michael Shaughnessy Q: Dr. Rimm, why does perfectionism seem to be a problem for gifted children? A: Perfectionism is very close to excellence, and, of course, parents and teachers encourage excellence in children.

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Who are underachievers? - Types of underachievers - GT underachievers - Effects and solutions

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Readings

Directory of Articles:
The articles listed here are the opinions of the Center for Applied Motivation, Inc.
Who are Underachievers?
Types of Underachievers

When It's Not Just a Phase

Under the Surface: What Underachievers Feel and How They Defend Against It

Emotional Defenses

The Importance of Certainty

Instilling Values

Achievement as a Function of Emotional Development

Gifted and Talented Underachievers

Pressure and its Effects on Unmotivated Students

The Utility of Distant Thinking

Communicating Values - A Systematic Exercise

Book:

Peter A. Spevak, Ph.D. and Maryann Karinch, M.A.published by: New Horizon Press, NJ Available in bookstores, at Amazon.com and at BarnesandNoble.com
Empowering Underachievers by

(see Written Resources page for a summary of Empowering Underachievers)

Other Resources:See
Resourcessection of this web site

Return to site home page

Copyright © 1998-2008 Center for Applied Motivation, Inc.

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Readings Directory of Articles: The articles listed here are the opinions of the Center for Applied Motivation, Inc. Who are Underachievers?

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What are the differences between bright and gifted?

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Free E-Book: You Know Your Child is Gifted When... A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side by Judy Galbraith 

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Free E-Book: You Know Your Child is Gifted When... A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side by Judy Galbraith 

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Great book for parents new to gifted education. Good overview of characteristics of giftedness and how they manifest.

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Creating space for teens to express themselves using their inherent creativity is a proven method to relieve stress and significantly decrease anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts-while helping improve young people's interest in school and overall happiness.

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Free Spirit Publishing | Free Spirit Publishing

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Creating space for teens to express themselves using their inherent creativity is a proven method to relieve stress and significantly decrease anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts-while helping improve young people's interest in school and overall happiness.

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Google's Happiness Algorithm - Life Lessons!

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Google's Happiness Algorithm - Life Lessons!

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Google engineer Chade-Meng Tan claims he has the secret to a contented, stress-free life. 3 simple ways to be happier in day-to-day life.

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A few years ago, Chade-Meng Tan, one of the company's first engineering employees in Mountain View, noticed many of his colleagues were stressed out and unhappy at work, so he decided to do something about it. He persuaded his bosses to let him create a course that would teach employees mindfulness skills to enhance emotional intelligence and promote wellbeing, and he transitioned to the HR department to run it. In a nod to his employer, he called it Search Inside Yourself, an admittedly corny name that is also the title of his book about the course's techniques.

At the 2014 SXSW festival in Austin, Texas, I was curious about Meng's panel, called "Make Yourself the Happiest Person on Earth." Not surprisingly, given the talk's promise, every seat and spot of floor space in the hotel ballroom was filled. Meng promised he was going to teach us the "scientifically proven" secret of happiness in three easy steps.

I was fascinated, but naturally skeptical. So in the weeks afterwards, I decided to try Meng's three-step advice for myself to see if it made me happier. I also took a closer look at the science that he claims support his techniques. Could there be anything to it? Let's look at each of the steps in turn.

Step one: "Calm your mind"

To introduce his first piece of advice, Meng led the SXSW audience through a short collective breathing exercise to calm the fluffy particles in the "snow-globes" (his metaphor) in our skulls. He advocates finding easy ways to take pauses during the day and be mindful of your breath. "If that's too hard, then just think about nothing for little bit," he joked.

His book goes into more detail, focusing on what meditation is and how to begin practicing it, citing a study by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School that mindfulness-training reduces reported anxiety.

Meng is not the only one to suggest that meditation and mindfulness is good for our mental health. For example, the monk Matthieu Ricard, who the press has dubbed "the world's happiest man" has written a book on the topic himself.

But does it work? There is some evidence that mindfulness can help stave off negative thoughts. A recent review of 209 studies found that the practice can help treat depression, anxiety and stress. (Some researchers even claim that the stress-reduction promised by meditation could help slow the effects of aging.)

It's worth pointing out that dealing with depression and anxiety is not necessarily the same thing as boosting happiness. Still, Meng's first piece of happiness advice appears to have growing scientific credence.

Step two: "Log moments of joy"

This means simply saying to yourself -- as you sip a great espresso, laugh at your friend's joke or buy that shirt you've wanted -- "I am having a moment of joy!" When negative things happen to us throughout the day we tend to hold on to them, while the good things are more fleeting and ephemeral. So, by consciously acknowledging the good things, says Meng, we increase our chances that when we reflect on our day, we conclude it was happy one.

The hypothesis that noting positive experiences counterbalances, or outweighs, negatives makes intuitive sense. We can all relate to the power of a single, even short-lived incident tainting a whole day, but rarely does the reverse seem true. As Johnny Mercer sang, you have to " accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative."

Recent studies have tried to explore this effect, including one by positive psychology researcher Barbara Fredrickson, which concluded we need a 3:1 positive-to-negative ratio of thoughts to free our minds from the tar-paper effect of negative thinking. However, this particular study has proven controversial, with some researchers questioning the mathematical claims made in the paper.

One 2006 study, however, found that people who wrote down their positive experiences in a diary reported greater feelings of life satisfaction, and the effect lasted for up to two weeks afterwards.

Step three: "Wish other people to be happy"

According to Meng, altruistic thoughts benefit us because we derive a lot of joy from giving, even more than from receiving.

Meng makes eloquent arguments for the (I think) self-evident need to infuse your life with more compassion, but only cites one study -- on people performing acts for others -- to back his claim that "kindness is a sustainable source of happiness."

In his book Happiness: A Very Short Introduction, the philosopher Daniel Haybron supports Meng's case by citing other researchers, particularly psychologist Michael Argyle who has suggested "only dancing generated higher 'levels of joy' than volunteer and charity work." Fredrickson, too, has studied the benefits of a form of meditation that involved thinking positive thoughts about others. She asked people to try the technique for a few minutes a day for several weeks, and many reported feeling more joyful and hopeful.

But we're still far from Meng's logic leap that just thinking well for others is enough. We'd be kidding ourselves if we think that wanting someone else to be happy is the same thing as actually doing something to make them happy, such as giving them a gift or, apparently, taking them dancing.

Science versus experience

In fact, the more I looked into Meng's claims the less convinced I was that his claims are heavily supported by existing research. Many of the findings in these studies are tentative, and need to be replicated. According to Haybron, there are actually other happiness factors backed by more robust studies -- such as autonomy, meaningful and skilled work, relationships/love, money (but not too much) and security (but not too much because you'll be bored) and non-attachment to things we could lose.

And yet, at the same time the more I practiced the three-step method, the more it seemed to be working. I started meditating at work. I programmed my mobile phone to send me hourly reminders to wish happiness on others. And I remembered to tell myself "I'm having a moment of joy!" when I was having fun with my daughters, running in the park, drinking a delicious beer and even writing this column.

I needed to reconcile this gap between my increased happiness and the apparent lack of full evidence to support it. Is Meng on to something real or was he merely a "merchant of cheap sunshine", as Haybron describes some happiness experts.

I asked psychologist Tom Stafford, who writes the Neurohacks column for BBC Future about the gap. "Squaring what works for you and what the science says is difficult because happiness is a complex object," he told me. "There will be local variations due to individual personality, so we've immediately got a reason for expecting a gap between the science -- which tends to work with group averages -- and any one person's experience.

"The interesting general question, to me, is when do we trust our experience and when do we listen to science," Stafford added. "Obviously some things we don't need science for ('Does dropping a rock on my foot hurt?'), and some things we do ('Is smoking bad for my health?'). Happiness, I'd argue, is in between these two cases."

My investigation between experience and science in terms of Meng's three steps put me closer to the dropping-a-rock-on-my-foot camp -- giving more stock in my experience than the studies. As Stafford notes, it may just be that meditation, logging joy and wishing others' well works for me because of my own personality.

It's possible that future studies will shed more light on these issues. The field of "positive psychology" is only a couple of decades old. "Part of the reason you can't find the evidence," Stafford noted, "is that people haven't been looking as long as they have at, say, why people get depressed."

There is growing and legitimate research on happiness, and Hayborn sees the topic as valid as the much larger and older body of work looking at its inverse: unhappiness. "Measuring happiness is no more mysterious or fraught then measuring depression or anxiety," he concludes. "And should be no more controversial."

To many, Meng's three steps may seem obvious or simplistic. Yet he compared his advice to showing us how to do a single push up or arm curl at the gym. You know it does you good, but you have to do the exercise every day to get results. I may be more experientially convinced than scientifically sated, but it's enough to keep me going to Google's happiness gym and doing those push-ups.

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A few years ago, Chade-Meng Tan, one of the company's first engineering employees in Mountain View, noticed many of his colleagues were stressed out and unhappy at work, so he decided to do something about it.

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Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges 

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Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges 

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How and why we should increase resiliency. **Article contains a curse word, so it is suited for adults!

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A year ago I received an invitation from the head of Counseling Services at a major university to join faculty and administrators for discussions about how to deal with the decline in resilience among students. At the first meeting, we learned that emergency calls to Counseling had more than doubled over the past five years. Students are increasingly seeking help for, and apparently having emotional crises over, problems of everyday life. Recent examples mentioned included a student who felt traumatized because her roommate had called her a "bitch" and two students who had sought counseling because they had seen a mouse in their off-campus apartment. The latter two also called the police, who kindly arrived and set a mousetrap for them.

Faculty at the meetings noted that students' emotional fragility has become a serious problem when it comes to grading. Some said they had grown afraid to give low grades for poor performance, because of the subsequent emotional crises they would have to deal with in their offices. Many students, they said, now view a C, or sometimes even a B, as failure, and they interpret such "failure" as the end of the world. Faculty also noted an increased tendency for students to blame them (the faculty) for low grades-they weren't explicit enough in telling the students just what the test would cover or just what would distinguish a good paper from a bad one. They described an increased tendency to see a poor grade as reason to complain rather than as reason to study more, or more effectively. Much of the discussions had to do with the amount of handholding faculty should do versus the degree to which the response should be something like, "Buck up, this is college." Does the first response simply play into and perpetuate students' neediness and unwillingness to take responsibility? Does the second response create the possibility of serious emotional breakdown, or, who knows, maybe even suicide?

Two weeks ago, that head of Counseling sent us all a follow-up email, announcing a new set of meetings. His email included this sobering paragraph:

"I have done a considerable amount of reading and research in recent months on the topic of resilience in college students. Our students are no different from what is being reported across the country on the state of late adolescence/early adulthood. There has been an increase in diagnosable mental health problems, but there has also been a decrease in the ability of many young people to manage the everyday bumps in the road of life. Whether we want it or not, these students are bringing their struggles to their teachers and others on campus who deal with students on a day-to-day basis. The lack of resilience is interfering with the academic mission of the University and is thwarting the emotional and personal development of students."

He also sent us a summary of themes that emerged in the series of meetings, which included the following bullets:

Less resilient and needy students have shaped the landscape for faculty in that they are expected to do more handholding, lower their academic standards, and not challenge students too much.

There is a sense of helplessness among the faculty. Many faculty members expressed their frustration with the current situation. There were few ideas about what we could do as an institution to address the issue.

Students are afraid to fail; they do not take risks; they need to be certain about things. For many of them, failure is seen as catastrophic and unacceptable. External measures of success are more important than learning and autonomous development.

Faculty, particularly young faculty members, feel pressured to accede to student wishes lest they get low teacher ratings from their students. Students email about trivial things and expect prompt replies.

Failure and struggle need to be normalized. Students are very uncomfortable in not being right. They want to re-do papers to undo their earlier mistakes. We have to normalize being wrong and learning from one's errors.

Faculty members, individually and as a group, are conflicted about how much "handholding" they should be doing.

Growth is achieved by striking the right balance between support and challenge. We need to reset the balance point. We have become a "helicopter institution."

Reinforcing the claim that this is a nationwide problem, the Chronicle of Higher Education recently ran an article by Robin Wilson entitled, "An Epidemic of Anguish: Overwhelmed by Demand for Mental-Health Care, Colleges Face Conflicts in Choosing How to Respond" (Aug. 31, 2015). Colleges and universities have traditionally been centers for higher academic education, where the expectation is that the students are adults, capable of taking care of their own everyday life problems. Increasingly, students and their parents are asking the personnel at such institutions to be substitute parents. There is also the ever-present threat and reality of lawsuits. When a suicide occurs, or a serious mental breakdown occurs, the institution is often held responsible.

On the basis of her interviews with heads of counseling offices at various colleges and universities, Wilson wrote:

"Families often expect campuses to provide immediate, sophisticated, and sustained mental-health care. After all, most parents are still adjusting to the idea that their children no longer come home every night, and many want colleges to keep an eye on their kids, just as they did. Students, too, want colleges to give them the help they need, when they need it. And they need a lot. Rates of anxiety and depression among American college students have soared in the last decade, and many more students than in the past come to campus already on medication for such illnesses. The number of students with suicidal thoughts has risen as well. Some are dealing with serious issues, such as psychosis, which typically presents itself in young adulthood, just when students are going off to college. Many others, though, are struggling with what campus counselors say are the usual stresses of college life: bad grades, breakups, being on their own for the first time. And they are putting a strain on counseling centers."

In previous posts (for example, here and here), I have described the dramatic decline, over the past few decades, in children's opportunities to play, explore, and pursue their own interests away from adults. Among the consequences, I have argued, are well-documented increases in anxiety and depression, and decreases in the sense of control of their own lives. We have raised a generation of young people who have not been given the opportunity to learn how to solve their own problems. They have not been given the opportunity to get into trouble and find their own way out, to experience failure and realize they can survive it, to be called bad names by others and learn how to respond without adult intervention. So now, here's what we have: Young people,18 years and older, going to college still unable or unwilling to take responsibility for themselves, still feeling that if a problem arises they need an adult to solve it.

Dan Jones, past president of the Association for University and College Counseling Center Directors, seems to agree with this assessment. In an interview for the Chronicle article, he said:

"[Students] haven't developed skills in how to soothe themselves, because their parents have solved all their problems and removed the obstacles. They don't seem to have as much grit as previous generations."

In my next post I'll examine the research evidence suggesting that so-called "helicopter parenting " really is at the core of the problem. But I don't blame parents, or certainly not just parents. Parents are in some ways victims of larger forces in society-victims of the continuous exhortations from "experts" about the dangers of letting kids be, victims of the increased power of the school system and the schooling mentality that says kids develop best when carefully guided and supervised by adults, and victims of increased legal and social sanctions for allowing kids into public spaces without adult accompaniment. We have become, unfortunately, a "helicopter society."

If we want to prepare our kids for college-or for anything else in life!-we have to counter these social forces. We have to give our children the freedom, which children have always enjoyed in the past, to get away from adults so they can practice being adults-that is, practice taking responsibility for themselves.
And now, what do you think?
Have you witnessed in any way the kinds of changes in young adults described here and that seem to be plaguing colleges and universities? How have you, as a parent, negotiated the line between protecting your children and giving them the freedom they need for psychological growth? Do you have any suggestions for college counselors and professors about how to deal with these problems they are struggling with?

I invite you to share your stories, thoughts, and questions in the comments section below. This blog is, among other things, a forum for discussion. As always, I prefer if you post your comments and questions here rather than send them to me by private email. By putting them here, you share with other readers, not just with me. I read all comments and try to respond to all serious questions if I think I have something worth saying. Of course, if you have something to say that applies only to you and me, then send me an email.
See also: Free to Learn and alternativestoschool.com, and join me on Facebook. Facebook image: wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

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Declining Student Resilience: A Serious Problem for Colleges

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A year ago I received an invitation from the head of Counseling Services at a major university to join faculty and administrators for discussions about how to deal with the decline in resilience among students. At the first meeting, we learned that emergency calls to Counseling had more than doubled over the past five years.

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A website that gives book recommendations based on the books you like!

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List of Books for Gifted Students to Read

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List of Books for Gifted Students to Read

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Organized by grade level and alphabetically; a huge resource for ideas to keep your bookworm busy!

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Copy of High Ability/Age Appropriate Books

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Why being an introvert isn't a bad thing. The extraordinary abilities and talents of introverts and how you can celebrate them.

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In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

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Davidson Institute: Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism

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Davidson Institute: Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism

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6 ways to help gifted kids cope with perfectionism

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Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism

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Written by Michael Pyryt, this article provides advice on how to help your gifted child handle perfectionism.

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You can play online!

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These Logic Grid Puzzles require that you fill the grid based on the clues to solve them. The puzzles can be challenging even for experienced players.

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Sudoku, mazes, bridges, and more!

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Printable puzzles. Thousands of 'em. All free.

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Wonderful chart showing how strengths of giftedness can also cause potential problems. This can lead to misdiagnosing gifted students with learning disabilities.

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by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, F. Richard Olenchak

Many gifted and talented children (and adults) are being mis-diagnosed by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, and other health care professionals. The most common mis-diagnoses are: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (OD), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Mood Disorders such as Cyclothymic Disorder, Dysthymic Disorder, Depression, and Bi-Polar Disorder. These common mis-diagnoses stem from an ignorance among professionals about specific social and emotional characteristics of gifted children which are then mistakenly assumed by these professionals to be signs of pathology.

In some situations where gifted children have received a correct diagnosis, giftedness is still a factor that must be considered in treatment, and should really generate a dual diagnosis. For example, existential depression or learning disability, when present in gifted children or adults, requires a different approach because new dimensions are added by the giftedness component. Yet the giftedness component typically is overlooked due to the lack of training and understanding by health care professionals (Webb & Kleine, 1993).

Despite prevalent myths to the contrary, gifted children and adults are at particular psychological risk due to both internal characteristics and situational factors. These internal and situational factors can lead to interpersonal and psychological difficulties for gifted children, and subsequently to mis-diagnoses and inadequate treatment.

Internal Factors
First, let me mention the internal aspects (Webb, 1993). Historically, nearly all of the research on gifted individuals has focused on the intellectual aspects, particularly in an academic sense. Until recently, little attention has been given to personality factors which accompany high intellect and creativity. Even less attention has been given to the observation that these personality factors intensify and have greater life effects when intelligence level increases beyond IQ 130 (Silverman, 1993; Webb, 1993; Winner, 2000).

Perhaps the most universal, yet most often overlooked, characteristic of gifted children and adults is their intensity (Silverman, 1993; Webb, 1993). One mother described it succinctly when she said, "My child's life motto is that anything worth doing is worth doing to excess." Gifted children - and gifted adults- often are extremely intense, whether in their emotional response, intellectual pursuits, sibling rivalry, or power struggles with an authority figure. Impatience is also frequently present, both with oneself and with others. The intensity also often manifests itself in heightened motor activity and physical restlessness.

Along with intensity, one typically finds in gifted individuals an extreme sensitivity-to emotions, sounds, touch, taste, etc. These children may burst into tears while watching a sad event on the evening news, keenly hear fluorescent lights, react strongly to smells, insist on having the tags removed from their shirts, must touch everything, or are overly reactive to touch in a tactile-defensive manner.

The gifted individual's drive to understand, to question, and to search for consistency is likewise inherent and intense, as is the ability to see possibilities and alternatives. All of these characteristics together result in an intense idealism and concern with social and moral issues, which can create anxiety, depression, and a sharp challenging of others who do not share their concerns.

Situational Factors
Situational factors are highly relevant to the problem of mis-diagnosis (Webb, 1993). Intensity, sensitivity, idealism, impatience, questioning the status quo-none of these alone necessarily constitutes a problem. In fact, we generally value these characteristics and behaviors-unless they happen to occur in a tightly structured classroom, or in a highly organized business setting, or if they happen to challenge some cherished tradition, and gifted children are the very ones who challenge traditions or the status quo.

There is a substantial amount of research to indicate that gifted children spend at least one-fourth to one-half of the regular classroom time waiting for others to catch up. Boredom is rampant because of the age tracking in our public schools. Peer relations for gifted children are often difficult (Webb, Meckstroth and Tolan, 1982; Winner, 2000), all the more so because of the internal dyssynchrony (asynchronous development) shown by so many gifted children where their development is uneven across various academic, social, and developmental areas, and where their judgment often lags behind their intellect.

Clearly, there are possible (or even likely) problems that are associated with the characteristic strengths of gifted children. Some of these typical strengths and related problems are shown in Table 1.
Table 1: Possible Problems That May be Associated with Characteristic Strengths of Gifted Children

Acquires and retains information quickly.

Impatient with slowness of others; dislikes routine and drill; may resist mastering foundational skills; may make concepts unduly complex.

Inquisitive attitude, intellectual curiosity; intrinsic motivation; searching for significance.

Asks embarrassing questions; strong-willed; resists direction; seems excessive in interests; expects same of others.

Ability to conceptualize, abstract, synthesize; enjoys problem-solving and intellectual activity.

Rejects or omits details; resists practice or drill; questions teaching procedures.

Can see cause-effect relations.

Difficulty accepting the illogical-such as feelings, traditions, or matters to be taken on faith.

Love of truth, equity, and fair play.

Difficulty in being practical; worry about humanitarian concerns.

Enjoys organizing things and people into structure and order; seeks to systematize.

Constructs complicated rules or systems; may be seen as bossy, rude, or domineering.

Large vocabulary and facile verbal proficiency; broad information in advanced areas.

May use words to escape or avoid situations; becomes bored with school and age-peers; seen by others as a "know it all."

Thinks critically; has high expectancies; is self-critical and evaluates others.

Critical or intolerant toward others; may become discouraged or depressed; perfectionistic.

Keen observer; willing to consider the unusual; open to new experiences.

Overly intense focus; occasional gullibility.

Creative and inventive; likes new ways of doing things.

May disrupt plans or reject what is already known; seen by others as different and out of step.

Intense concentration; long attention span in areas of interest; goal-directed behavior; persistence.

Resists interruption; neglects duties or people during period of focused interests; stubbornness.

Sensitivity, empathy for others; desire to be accepted by others.

Sensitivity to criticism or peer rejection; expects others to have similar values; need for success and recognition; may feel different and alienated.

High energy, alertness, eagerness; periods of intense efforts.

Frustration with inactivity; eagerness may disrupt others' schedules; needs continual stimulation; may be seen as hyperactive.

Independent; prefers individualized work; reliant on self.

May reject parent or peer input; non-conformity; may be unconventional.

Diverse interests and abilities; versatility.

May appear scattered and disorganized; frustrations over lack of time; others may expect continual competence.

Strong sense of humor.

Sees absurdities of situations; humor may not be understood by peers; may become "class clown" to gain attention.

Adapted from Clark (1992) and Seagoe (1974)

Lack of understanding by parents, educators, and health professionals, combined with the problem situations (e.g., lack of appropriately differentiated education) leads to interpersonal problems which are then mis-labeled, and thus prompt the mis-diagnoses. The most common mis-diagnoses are as follows.

Common Mis-Diagnoses
ADHD and Gifted. Many gifted children are being mis-diagnosed as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). The gifted child's characteristics of intensity, sensitivity, impatience, and high motor activity can easily be mistaken for ADHD. Some gifted children surely do suffer from ADHD, and thus have a dual diagnosis of gifted and ADHD; but in my opinion, most are not. Few health care professionals give sufficient attention to the words about ADHD in DSM-IV(1994) that say "...inconsistent with developmental level...." The gifted child's developmental level is different (asynchronous) when compared to other children, and health care professionals need to ask whether the child's inattentiveness or impulsivity behaviors occur only in some situations but not in others (e.g., at school but not at home; at church, but not at scouts, etc.). If the problem behaviors are situational only, the child is likely not suffering from ADHD.

To further complicate matters, my own clinical observation suggests that about three percent of highly gifted children suffer from a functional borderline hypoglycemic condition. Silverman (1993) has suggested that perhaps the same percentage also suffer from allergies of various kinds. Physical reactions in these conditions, when combined with the intensity and sensitivity, result in behaviors that can mimic ADHD. However, the ADHD-like symptoms in such cases will vary with the time of day, length of time since last meal, type of foods eaten, or exposure to other environmental agents.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Gifted. The intensity, sensitivity, and idealism of gifted children often lead others to view them as "strong-willed." Power struggles with parents and teachers are common, particularly when these children receive criticism, as they often do, for some of the very characteristics that make them gifted (e.g., "Why are you so sensitive, always questioning me, trying to do things a different way," etc.).

Bi-Polar and other Mood Disorders and Gifted. Recently, I encountered a parent whose highly gifted child had been diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder. This intense child, whose parents were going through a bitter divorce, did indeed show extreme mood swings, but, in my view, the diagnosis of Bi-Polar Disorder was off the mark. In adolescence, or sometimes earlier, gifted children often do go through periods of depression related to their disappointed idealism, and their feelings of aloneness and alienation culminate in an existential depression. However, it is not at all clear that this kind of depression warrants such a major diagnosis.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Gifted. Even as preschoolers, gifted children love to organize people and things into complex frameworks, and get quite upset when others don't follow their rules or don't understand their schema. Many gifted first graders are seen as perfectionistic and "bossy" because they try to organize the other children, and sometimes even try to organize their family or the teacher. As they grow up, they continue to search intensely for the "rules of life" and for consistency. Their intellectualizing, sense of urgency, perfectionism, idealism, and intolerance for mistakes may be misunderstood to be signs of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. In some sense, however, giftedness is a dual diagnosis with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder since intellectualization may be assumed to underlie many of the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for this disorder.

Dual Diagnoses
Learning Disabilities and Giftedness. Giftedness is a coexisting factor, to be sure, in some diagnoses. One notable example is in diagnosis and treatment of learning disabilities. Few psychologists are aware that inter-subscale scatter on the Wechsler intelligence tests increases as a child's overall IQ score exceeds 130. In children with a Full Scale IQ score of 140 or greater, it is not uncommon to find a difference of 20 or more points between Verbal IQ and Performance IQ (Silverman, 1993; Webb & Kleine, 1993; Winner, 2000). Most clinical psychologists are taught that such a discrepancy is serious cause for concern regarding possible serious brain dysfunction, including learning disabilities. For highly gifted children, such discrepancy is far less likely to be an indication of pathological brain dysfunction, though it certainly would suggest an unusual learning style and perhaps a relative learning disability.

Similarly, the difference between the highest and lowest scores on individual subscales within intelligence and achievement tests is often quite notable in gifted children. On the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children - III, it is not uncommon to find subscale differences greater than seven scale score points for gifted children, particularly those who are highly gifted. These score discrepancies are taken by most psychologists to indicate learning disabilities, and in a functional sense they do represent that. That is, the levels of ability do vary dramatically, though the range may be "only" from Very Superior to Average level of functioning. In this sense, gifted children may not "qualify" for a diagnosis of learning disability, and indeed some schools seem to have a policy of "only one label allowed per student," and since this student is gifted, he/she can not also be considered learning disabled. However, it is important for psychologists to understand the concept of "asynchronous development" (Silverman, 1993), and to appreciate that most gifted children show such an appreciable, and often significant, scatter of abilities.

Poor handwriting is often used as one indicator of learning disabilities. However, many and perhaps most gifted children will show poor handwriting. Usually this simply represents that their thoughts go so much faster than their hands can move, and that they see little sense in making writing an art form when its primary purpose is to communicate (Webb & Kleine, 1993; Winner, 2000).

Psychologists must understand that, without intervention, self-esteem issues are almost a guarantee in gifted children with learning disabilities as well as those who simply have notable asynchronous development since they tend to evaluate themselves based more on what they cannot do rather than on what they are able to do. Sharing formal ability and achievement test results with gifted children about their particular abilities, combined with reassurance, can often help them develop a more appropriate sense of self-evaluation.

Sleep Disorders and Giftedness. Nightmare Disorder, Sleep Terror Disorder, and Sleepwalking Disorder appear to be more prevalent among gifted children, particularly boys. It is unclear whether this should be considered a mis-diagnosis or a dual diagnosis. Certainly, parents commonly report that their gifted children have dreams that are more vivid, intense, and more often in color, and that a substantial proportion of gifted boys are more prone to sleepwalking and bed wetting, apparently related to their dreams and to being more soundly (i.e., intensely) asleep. Such concordance would suggest that giftedness may need to be considered as a dual diagnosis in these cases, or at least a factor worthy of consideration since the child's intellect and sense of understanding often can be used to help the child cope with nightmares.

A little known observation concerning sleep in gifted individuals is that about twenty percent of gifted children seem to need significantly less sleep than other children, while another twenty percent appear to need significantly more sleep than other children. Parents report that these sleep patterns show themselves very early in the child's life, and long-term follow up suggests that the pattern continues into adulthood (Webb & Kleine, 1993; Winner, 2000). Some highly gifted adults appear to average comfortably as few as two or three hours sleep each night, and they have indicated to me that even in childhood they needed only four or five hours sleep.

Multiple Personality Disorders and Giftedness. Though there is little formal study of giftedness factors within MPD, there is anecdotal evidence that the two are related. The conclusion of professionals at the Menninger Foundation was that most MPD patients showed a history of childhood abuse, but also high intellectual abilities which allowed them to create and maintain their elaborate separate personalities (W. H. Smith personal communication, April 18, 1996).

Relational Problems and Giftedness. As one mother told me, "Having a gifted child in the family did not change our family's lifestyle; it simply destroyed it!" These children can be both exhilarating and exhausting. But because parents often lack information about characteristics of gifted children, the relationship between parent and child can suffer. The child's behaviors are seen as mischievous, impertinent, weird, or strong-willed, and the child often is criticized or punished for behaviors that really represent curiosity, intensity, sensitivity, or the lag of judgment behind intellect. Thus, intense power struggles, arguments, temper tantrums, sibling rivalry, withdrawal, underachievement, and open flaunting of family and societal traditions may occur within the family.

"Impaired communication" and "inadequate discipline" are specifically listed in the DSM-IV (1994) as areas of concern to be considered in a diagnosis of Parent-Child Relational Problems, and a diagnosis of Sibling Relational Problem is associated with significant impairment of functioning within the family or in one or more siblings. Not surprisingly, these are frequent concerns for parents of gifted children due to the intensity, impatience, asynchronous development, and lag of judgment behind intellect of gifted children.

Health care professionals could benefit from increased knowledge concerning the effects of a gifted child's behaviors within a family, and thus often avoid mistaken notions about the causes of the problems. The characteristics inherent within gifted children have implications for diagnosis and treatment which could include therapy for the whole family, not in the sense of "treatment," but to develop coping mechanisms for dealing with the intensity, sensitivity, and the situations which otherwise may cause them problems later (Jacobsen, 1999).

Conclusion
Many of our brightest and most creative minds are not only going unrecognized, but they also are often given diagnoses that indicate pathology. For decades, psychologists and other health care professionals have given great emphasis to the functioning of persons in the lower range of the intellectual spectrum. It is time that we trained health care professionals to give similar attention to our most gifted, talented, and creative children and adults. At the very least, it is imperative that these professionals gain sufficient understanding so that they no longer conclude that certain inherent characteristics of giftedness represent pathology.

References
Clark, B. (1992). Growing up gifted: Developing the potential of children at home and at school, (4th ed.). New York: Macmillan.
Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, Fourth Edition. (1994). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Association.
Jacobsen, M.E. (1999). Liberating everyday genius: A revolutionary guide for identifying and mastering your exceptional gifts. New York: Ballantine.
Seagoe, M. (1974). Some learning characteristics of gifted children. In R. Martinson, (Ed.), The identification of the gifted and talented. Ventura, CA: Office of the Ventura County Superintendent of Schools.
Silverman, L. K. (1993). Counseling the gifted and talented. Denver: Love Publishing.
Webb, J. T., & Latimer, D. (1993). ADHD and children who are gifted. Reston, VA: Council for Exceptional Children. ERIC Digests #E522, EDO-EC-93-5.
Webb, J. T. (1993). Nurturing Social-Emotional Development of Gifted Children. In K. A. Heller, F. J. Monks, & A. H. Passow (Eds.), International handbook of research and development of giftedness and talent (pp. 525-538). Oxford: Pergamon Press.
Webb, J. T. & Kleine, P. A. (1993). Assessing gifted and talented children. In J. L. Culbertson, & D. J. Willis (Eds.), Testing young children (pp. 383-407). Austin, TX: Pro-ed.
Webb, J. T., Meckstroth, E. A., & Tolan, S. S. (1982). Guiding the gifted child: A practical source for parents and teachers. Scottsdale, AZ: Gifted Psychology Press (formerly Ohio Psychology Press).
Winner, E. (2000). The origins and ends of giftedness. American Psychologist (55, No. 1), 159-169.

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Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children - SENG

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by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Beljan, F. Richard Olenchak For more information about medical misdiagnosis of the gifted, please visit the SENG Misdiagnosis Initiative page. Many gifted and talented children (and adults) are being mis-diagnosed by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, and other health care professionals.

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This is a podcast dedicated to parenting kids who are gifted and have ADHD, autism, asperger's, sensory processing issues, anxiety, slow processing speed, etc. If interested, they have almost 100 episodes for free here

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TILT Parenting: Atypical | 2E | Gifted | ADHD | SPD | Asperger's Podcast | Free Listening on Podbean App

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Atypical Kids / Twice-Exceptional / Gifted / ADHD / Sensory Processing Disorder / Asperger's The TiLT Parenting Podcast, hosted by author and TiLT founder Debbie Reber, features transformational interviews and conversations with authors, parenting experts, educators, and other parents aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently-wired kids (giftedness, ADHD, Asperger's, twice-exceptionalities, sensory processing challenges, anxiety, and more).

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Dispelling the many myths surrounding the concept of giftedness this insightful and valuable resource covers important topics such as: The meaning and characteristics of giftedness throughout the lifespan,  Comprehensive methods of assessment, parental and educational roles in developing the abilities of gifted children, the unique psychological needs of gifted children often manifested as feeling different, and special issues such as gifted children with learning disabilities (Twice-Exceptional).

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Bright Not Broken - Dr. Linda Silverman Giftedness 101

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Dr. Linda Silverman, world renowned expert and author on Giftedness and Twice- Exceptionality joins hosts Diane and Rebecca to discuss her brand new book Giftedness 101.

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10 Myths About Gifted Children and Gifted Programs

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10 Myths About Gifted Children and Gifted Programs

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Great resource for parents whose child has just been identified.

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By Carolyn Coil, Special to CNN

Editor's note: Carolyn Coil is a speaker, educator and author. She works with teachers, administrators, parents and students, offering strategies for raising achievement, developing creative and critical thinking skills, motivating underachievers, differentiating curriculum and assessing student performance. She has taught graduate-level gifted endorsement courses for more than 20 years. You can follow her on Twitter, @CarolynCoil.

(CNN) - American educators have struggled for more than 40 years to define giftedness. Yet even now, there is no universally agreed upon definition of what it means to be gifted. U.S. federal law defines gifted students as those who perform or who show promise of performing at high levels in any one of five categories: general intellectual ability, specific academic aptitude, creative or productive thinking, leadership ability or visual/performing arts.

Beyond that definition, there are no specific national criteria for identifying gifted and talented students nor does federal law provide funding or mandates for identification of these students or programming for them. This definition is left to the states.

The result has been a wide variety of state definitions and methods for the identification of gifted children. Some states have specific definitions for giftedness, while others have none. Some states require programs for gifted students, while others do not.

In other words, the availability of programs and services for gifted students depends for the most part on where a student lives and what state, school district or school he or she is in.

There is debate over how to identify and measure giftedness, whether giftedness is innate (nature) or developed (nurture) and whether giftedness is driven by intelligence test results or through other indicators.
My view: The joys and challenges of raising a gifted child
These varying perspectives have led to much misinformation about gifted students and what programs for gifted students should look like. Here are 10 of the most common myths about gifted students and programs for the gifted:
Myth No. 1: Intelligence is inherited and does not change. Gifted students, therefore, do not need any special services.
All of us do inherit certain traits, intelligences and talents. But these need to be developed and nurtured throughout life for them to grow and reach their full potential. A beautiful flower inherits certain traits. But if it is not watered and fed and if it does not get the right amount of sunlight, it does not develop as it could. The same is true for gifted children.

Myth No. 2: Giftedness can easily be measured by intelligence tests and tests of achievement.

Giftedness is difficult to measure. This is why schools and school districts try so many different ways to identify gifted students. Tests are often culturally biased and may reflect ethnicity, socioeconomic status, exposure and experiences rather than true giftedness. Other children may be gifted but are not good at taking tests. They may not score well on standardized tests but may be gifted, especially in creative and productive thinking.
Myth No. 3: There is no need to identify gifted students in the early grades.
Many school districts do not begin identifying gifted and talented students until third grade. There is a belief among some educators that giftedness cannot be properly identified in the early grades. However, the National Association for Gifted Children programming standards start with pre-kindergarten. The group's early childhood network position paper says that "providing engaging, responsive learning environments ... benefit all children, including young gifted children."
Photos: Inside a 'genius school' in 1948 Myth No. 4: Gifted students read all the time, wear glasses and/or are physically and socially inept.
From Jason, the cartoon character in the "Foxtrot" comic strip, to Sheldon on the TV show "The Big Bang Theory," we can see this stereotype in action. But like all other kids, gifted children come in many varieties. Some are successful in sports or music, and some are physically attractive. Some have many friends, while others have only a few. Some are extreme extroverts, while others are introverts. There is no one type of person or personality we can pinpoint as gifted.
Myth No. 5: Gifted kids are all model students - they're well-behaved and make good grades.
This statement reflects another stereotype about gifted students. Some gifted children are model students. They are compliant, follow directions, never misbehave and make straight A's. But many others challenge teachers, do their own thing instead of the assigned work, procrastinate until the last minute when doing long-range assignments, get low grades, are disorganized and have poor study skills.
Myth No. 6: All gifted students work up to their potential.
Most schools have their share of gifted underachievers. These students have the potential for excellence but - for a variety of reasons - do not fulfill that potential. Gifted underachievers may decide they will only do the minimum requirements and choose the easy work instead of more challenging tasks. They often lack study and organizational skills because in the early grades they don't need to develop them. Some get discouraged when the work doesn't come easily, and others don't want to look gifted because it isn't "cool."
Myth No. 7: Teaching gifted students is easy.
Some believe that a good teacher can easily teach any student. If this were the case, good teaching with no special training would be all that is needed to teach gifted students. However, in my many years of teaching graduate-level courses in gifted education, I have found that good teachers add to their skills and learn new strategies and techniques targeted particularly to meeting the needs of the gifted. Most teachers of the gifted tell me this is the hardest, most challenging, most exhausting and most rewarding teaching they have ever done.

Myth No. 8: Gifted students will get by on their own without any special help from the school.

I hear this myth often, especially in times of budget cutting. Some people claim that gifted students come from wealthy families who can meet their children's needs. Others assert that the expense of providing gifted programs cannot be justified. In general, the assumption is that gifted students will succeed regardless of the quality of the education they receive. This is simply not true. Gifted students require special services and programs to ensure the growth rather than the loss of their outstanding abilities.
Myth No. 9: It never hurts gifted students to teach others what they already know.
If gifted students already know the grade-level standards, it may seem logical to have them teach others. This is faulty logic. It assumes that teaching struggling students is something gifted kids innately know how to do. Most gifted students do not know how to tutor others. They often are frustrated that struggling students don't understand what they perceive as easy. Peer tutoring using gifted students also takes away time they should be using for more advanced work, more rigor and more higher-level thinking.
Myth No. 10: All children are gifted.
If all kids are gifted, then there is no need to identify gifted students and no need for any special programs for gifted. I strongly believe that all children have distinctive and unique qualities that make each one valuable. This does not mean, however, that all children are gifted. Being identified as gifted simply means that certain children have needs that are different from most others at their age and grade level. All gifted students need programs and services to ensure their growth rather than the loss of their outstanding abilities.
For information about gifted students and programs, I recommend the following websites and publishers:
* Carolyn Coil
* National Association for Gifted Children
* Hoagie's Gifted Education Page
* Pieces of Learning
* Prufrock Press
* Royal Fireworks Press
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Carolyn Coil.

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My view: Ten myths about gifted students and programs for gifted

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By Carolyn Coil, Special to CNN Editor's note: Carolyn Coil is a speaker, educator and author. She works with teachers, administrators, parents and students, offering strategies for raising achievement, developing creative and critical thinking skills, motivating underachievers, differentiating curriculum and assessing student performance. She has taught graduate-level gifted endorsement courses for more than 20 years.

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Anxiety is a huge barrier to learning and very difficult for educators to identify. "When anxiety is fueling the behavior, it's the most confusing and complicated to figure out," Minahan said. That's because a student isn't always anxious; it tends to come and go based on events in their lives, so their difficulties aren't consistent. When we are anxious our working memory tanks, making it very difficult to recall any salient information.

Researchers surveyed a group of first graders none of whom had any reading or math disabilities. Those who had been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder were eight times more likely to be in the lowest achieving group in reading, and two-point-five times more likely to be in the lowest quartile in math achievement by the spring.

"Anxiety is a learning disability; it inhibits your ability to learn," Minahan said. But it isn't usually recognized as a learning disability and there is almost never a plan for how to address it in the classroom. "For kids with anxiety, the 'can'ts fluctuate," Minahan said. "When they're calm they can. When they're anxious they can't. And that's very deceiving."

Anxiety isn't about ability, it's about interference, which means that traditional rewards and consequences don't often work with this group of learners.

"Rewards and consequences are super helpful to increase motivation for something I'm able to do," Minahan said. But an anxious person's brain has shut down and they aren't able in that moment to complete the task being asked of them. The best way to combat this tricky problem is to try to prevent anxiety triggers and build up students' social and emotional skills to cope with the moments when anxiety sets in.

When kids are in the throes of bad behavior they have poor self-regulation skills, often get into negative thinking cycles that they can't stop, have poor executive functioning, become inflexible thinkers and lose social skills like the ability to think about another person's perspective. That's why kids can seem so unempathetic when teachers ask, "how do you think that made Sam feel?" At that moment, the student acting out has no ability to take Sam's perspective, but a few hours later or the next day, he might be able to show the remorse educators want to see.

ALL BEHAVIOR HAS A FUNCTION

Bad behavior is often connected to seeking attention, and when kids act out, they can see the results.* "Negative attention is way easier to get and hands down easier to understand," Minahan said. "It's much more efficient." Adults tend to be unpredictable with attention when a student is doing what she is supposed to do, but as soon as there's a dramatic, obvious tantrum, the student has the teacher's attention. And negative attention is powerful -- one student can hijack a whole classroom.

A common teacher response to low-level negative attention seeking is to ignore the student. The teacher doesn't want to reward bad behavior. "I want to caution you about ignoring someone with anxiety because their anxiety goes up," Minahan said. Ignoring an already anxious student can accidentally convey the message that the teacher doesn't care about the student, and worse might escalate the situation. Perhaps a teacher can ignore a student tapping his pencil or banging on his desk, but threatening behavior can't be ignored. And the student learns exactly what level of behavior he must exhibit to get attention.

TIP 1: Instead, "what you need to do is make positive attention compete better," Minahan said. She often suggests that teachers actively engage the most difficult student at the beginning of class saying something like, "I can't wait to see what you think of this assignment. I'm going to check on you in 5 minutes." When the teacher actually comes back in five minutes, validates the student's progress, and tells her another check-in is coming in ten minutes it sets up a pattern of predictable attention for positive behavior. And while it might seem unfair to take that extra time and care with one student, it ultimately saves instruction time when a teacher doesn't have to deal with a tantrum that sends the student out of the room.

TIP 2: Often in an attempt to form a positive relationship with a student teachers will publicly praise positive behavior. That can backfire, especially with anxious kids who don't want any extra attention from peers. Private or non-verbal praise is often better. Minahan recommends pulling students aside at the beginning of the year to ask how teachers can best tell them they're proud. "It's a gift to your February self if you can figure out a system now, otherwise you'll get stuck on the negative attention scale," Minahan said.

Tip 2.1: She also recommends fact-based praise as opposed to general praise. Vague praise is easy to dismiss.
ANTECEDENTS TO BAD BEHAVIOR
Many kids have predictable anxiety triggers like unstructured time, transitions, writing tasks, social demands or any unexpected change. Similarly the antecedents of negative behavior are fairly predictable: unfacilitated social interactions, interaction with an authoritative adult, being asked to wait, when demands are placed, being told no, writing, and transitions.**

Tip 3: "Teach waiting now," Minahan said. "When you are anxious, despite your age, it's very hard to wait." She was asked to observe a boy who constantly disrupted class. Minahan soon noticed the boy often did his work, but if he finished early or there was downtime in the class, he would start causing trouble. When Minahan pointed this out to him he had no idea what "wait time" was. She had to spell out to him that when he finished a task he should apply a strategy, like turning over the paper and doodling appropriately on the back. After this small intervention the student's behavior was so improved that his teacher thought he'd gone on medication.

'You can have really bright, able children whose anxiety is interfering so much.'

For kids with anxiety, there are a number of strategies teachers can employ. The first is not to take any student behavior personally. The student isn't trying to manipulate or torture the teacher, his behavior is reflecting something going on internally. Often a short movement break can help relieve anxiety, but not the way they are commonly given.

Minahan described a seventh grade girl who was recovering from an eating disorder. The girl was scraping her arms so badly they would bleed. After lunch, predictably, the behavior was worse, so her teachers were letting her color and draw to relieve her anxiety. Another common break is to tell a student to go get a drink of water down the hall. The coloring break wasn't working for this seventh grader and Minahan soon figured out why. "We accidentally left her alone to fester in her anxious thoughts," she said.

Tip 4: Leaving class doesn't give the student a break from internal negative thoughts like "I'm fat," or "I'm not smart enough," which paralyze thinking. But a break paired with a cognitive distraction does offer respite from the "all or nothing" thinking that's so common with anxious students. An older student might take a break and record herself reading a book out loud for a younger student with dyslexia. It's impossible to read out loud and think another thought. Other distractions could include sports trivia, sudoku or crossword puzzles. Little kids might do a Where's Waldo or look through a Highlight magazine for the hidden picture.

Tip 5: When teachers want to wrap up a task they often use a countdown. "Silent reading time is going to be over in five minutes." But counting down doesn't support a high achieving anxious child who feels she must finish. And it takes a lot of executive function skills and cognitive flexibility to fight the urge to keep going after the time is up. So instead of counting down, a teacher might walk over to that student and say, let's find a good stopping point. She may stop a minute later than the rest of the class when she reaches the designated point, but it won't escalate into a tug-of-war.

Transitions are another common time for kids to act out. Younger students often don't want to come in from recess, for example. But when a teacher says, "Line up. Recess is over. It's time for your spelling quiz," it's no wonder the student doesn't want to go from something he loves to something he hates.

Tip 6: The teacher can give students an in-between step to make the transition more palatable. Go from recess, to two minutes of coloring, to the spelling quiz. The intermediary step gives that non-compliant student behavioral momentum. He's already sitting down, quiet, with pen in hand, so the jump to spelling isn't as jarring.

For middle and high school students, school is all about being social, but the only times students get to see their friends are in the two to five minute passing periods between classes. Again, the transition is from something they love to something they hate, so don't make that transition extra hard by collecting homework as they come in the door. The toughest kids are probably already not doing well in the class, and a reminder of the homework exacerbates feelings of inadequacy.

Tip 7: One high school geometry teacher started playing two minute YouTube videos about geometry as students came into class. It got students from the hallway into the classroom without thinking negatively and her class started to run more smoothly. She didn't have the same interruptions she used to, which made the lost two minutes seem worth it.

Tip 8: Minahan also likes some of the biofeedback tools that are now available, like the EmWave. A wound up student puts a sensor on his finger and calming down becomes a game. He might start out with a picture of a black and white forest, but as he calms down (and the sensor monitors his heart rate) the colors start to pop in. It can take as little as two to five minutes to completely calm a kid down when they can see the feedback so clearly.

"I like it because it's so concrete," Minahan said. A student with high functioning autism might not even know what a teacher means by "calm down," but with the biofeedback device she can see what it means.

WORK AVOIDANCE

Minahan says it's very common for students to have trouble initiating work, persisting through work and asking for help, but there are strategies to help kids build the skills to get better in these areas.

"You can have really bright, able children whose anxiety is interfering so much," Minahan said. The anxiety isn't coming from nowhere; it's coming from prior experiences of feeling frozen and stupid. In that moment the child's working memory isn't working, so teachers need to find ways to bypass it until the anxiety passes.

Tip 9: One way is to let students preview the work for the day. In the morning, an elementary school teacher might work on the first few problems with the anxious child so she knows she can do it. Then, when it's time for that work later in the day, that child receives the sheet she's already started and can go from there.

Tip 9.1: In high school, teachers can give students with trouble initiating the preview as homework. Students can start at home without any pressure and continue at school. "Fight or flight is the worst when they first see it," Minahan said, so try to bypass that moment and prevent a breakdown.

Tip 10: At the same time, when the teacher names the strategies a student is employing, he is helping the student build a toolbox that can be used independently. Strategies might include, asking a teacher to help her start when she feels frozen, or asking to preview the homework. For perfectionist students, difficulty starting can stem from a fear of messing up. Give those students dry erase boards, where the mess ups can be easily erased. It helps when teachers treat the difficulty starting as a small problem and say something like, "Looks like you're not initiating. What strategy are you going to use?"

'When I shift the reinforcement to skills, I've noticed the skills go up and that's what makes the difference for the kids who have mental health difficulties.'

Tip 11: Some strategies to build persistence include skipping the hard ones and doing the ones a student knows first, working with a buddy, and double checking work on problems that have been completed.

Giving help in class is often a tricky balance, especially if a student is too embarrassed to ask vocally. Instead of acting out because she can't do the work, the student might raise her hand, pass the teacher a note or make eye contact. Then the teacher has to be careful not to give too much help. "We accidentally create dependency because we help so much," Minahan said.

That goes for academics as well as behavior. Often a teacher will notice a student becoming agitated and dysregulated and tell him to take a short walk. But ultimately the student will be better served if he can learn to monitor himself and implement strategies when he notices early signs of agitation. "Kids have to learn how to catch themselves on the way up and calm down there," Minahan said, because that's when the strategies work. But kids need to be taught how to recognize the signs.

Tip 12: Teach kids how to do a body check. With younger students a teacher can describe the signs of agitation as they are happening so the student starts to recognize them. With older students, ask them where in their body they feel anxious, for example, "in your belly?" "Give them the data every day," Minahan said. "This is your body on the way up." After the groundwork has been laid, a teacher can just say "body check, please" to let a student know it's time to check in with themselves and start using a strategy.

But what can you do when a kid is already exploding? Minahan says, not much because the child will have a very hard time reacting in a reasonable way once he or she is riled up.

Tip 13: What educators can do is anticipate those moments and rehearse self-calming strategies when the child is calm.

In one case, Minahan knew an elementary student she was working with was going to have a traumatic change in her life. The child's mom was giving her up to foster care and the date had been set. To prepare for what would undoubtedly be a moment when the student couldn't control herself, Minahan had her practice self-calming in the social worker's office, where she would probably go on the day. Twice a day for five minutes she rehearsed a self-calming routine when she was already calm so her working memory was available and she was learning the strategies.

When the day came and the child did freak out, Minahan quickly got her into the office with very little touching or verbal interaction which might further set her off. Once there, the girl got into her routine, and started singing to herself as a cognitive distraction. "The rehearsal allowed for automaticity and did not require cognition or working memory in that moment," Minahan said.

Tip 14: Rehearse replies to confrontations. Minahan worked with a high school student who constantly got in fights. If he felt disrespected he'd start swinging. Together they rehearsed over and over him saying, "I don't have time for this," and walking away. During the rehearsals, Minahan gave him something to hold in his hands as he said this. And soon, he stopped getting in fights. It gave him the moment he needed to make a decision not to use his fists and a go-to automatic reply.

Tip 15: Use data to disprove negative thinking. Writing is a common barrier for kids with anxiety, Minahan said. But one way to begin getting students past this hurdle is to ask them how hard a task will be before they start and again after they've completed it. Almost always the perception of the task is worse than the actual task. With several weeks of data you can show students the pattern in their responses.

Minahan worked with a girl who hated writing so much that she was skipping school twice a week. She would often say that writing was torture to her. Minahan broke writing down into component parts with corresponding strategies for getting started on each part. When the student worked on a writing task Minahan would ask her how many strategies she employed. Often the girl didn't use that many strategies, which didn't fit with her own conception of herself. "We reframed her whole thinking and she felt more empowered to solve her problems," Minahan said.

INTERACTION STRATEGIES

In any interaction with students teachers can only control their own behavior, but that's actually a lot of power. "We are 50% of every interaction with a child," Minahan said. "We have a lot of control over that interaction."

Tip 16: If a teacher gets off on the wrong foot with a student early in the year, try randomly being kind to the child, rather than only giving positive attention based on his or her behavior. This kind of noncontingent reinforcement helps the child to see the teacher likes him for who he is, not because he does math well or reads perfectly, Minahan said.

Tip 17: In areas where the difficult student is competent, give her a leadership role. Maybe let her take a younger child to the nurse or start an activity club. This helps change the child's perception of herself and also her relationship to the teacher.

Tip 18: When demanding something of a student, don't ask yes or no questions and teach kids not to ask yes or no questions. In that scenario, someone has a 50 percent chance of being disappointed with the answer. By changing the question, the teacher opens the door for the answer to be diffusing, rather than an escalation of defiance. For example, if a student asks, "Can I work with Jack?" The teacher can reframe the question: "Oh, did you want to know when you could work with Jack? You can ask: When can I work with Jack." The student might not like the answer, but it likely won't produce the same explosive reaction as getting an outright "no."

Tip 19: Give kids time and space. If a student is prone to arguing, eye contact and physical proximity can escalate potential protests.*** For example, if a kid is humming in an annoying way, a typical teacher move might be to make eye contact with the child and shake your head to get him to stop. But in this situation eye-contact is non-verbally asking the child for a response, which he may be incapable of giving at that moment. Instead, calmly walk over and put a note on his desk that says, "please stop humming." Then run away and do not make eye contact with that student for a few minutes.

"The initial reaction is not pleasant and you have to wait for them to de-escalate before they can comply," Minahan said. Sometimes the mere presence of the teacher prevents that de-escalation.

Tip 20: Reward practice or strategy use, not performance. "When I shift the reinforcement to skills, I've noticed the skills go up and that's what makes the difference for the kids who have mental health difficulties," Minahan said. Ultimately, educators are teaching kids the skills and strategies that they can then use throughout their life when they're anxious, so rewarding practice makes sense.

The more teachers can empathize with students, teaching skill building and focus on preventing challenging behavior, the smoother the classroom will run. Often that means learning about the student in order to identify triggers and design new ways of interacting with even the most challenging students.

*An earlier version of this post overstated the connection between bad behavior and seeking attention.
**An earlier version of this sentence highlighted only one type of negative behavior -- fighting.
*** This section was updated to include the situations under which eye contact could make a situation worse for a student. We regret these errors.

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20 Tips to Help De-escalate Interactions With Anxious or Defiant Students | KQED

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Interventions and strategic behaviors can help teachers manage students who are acting out or missing out on learning because of behavioral issues.