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Social media can be constructive or destructive; the power is with the user at hand. Study’s are finding that teens, especially girls are more vulnerable to social media. It is affecting their self consciousness concerning their self image. There is an almost implied standard of having social media in the first place and this comes with expectations and pressure about the amount of views, likes, thumbs up, followers etc. the user will get.  This is having a strong impact on adolescents in this generation. This concept starts off as a new and fun way to connect with friends and share their experiences with the social media society but can quickly turn into an addiction with approval seeking.

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Dove has been a brand that supports self love. Dove was one of the first brands to promote campaigns that include the everyday women . Now that times have changed, Dove has shifted to social networks.

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Dove has always been a brand at the forefront in the battle against the standardization of beauty ideals. Dove was one of the first brands to promote campaigns that really put at the center of the scene normal women. Well, now that the battlefield has shifted to social networks, Dove get appropriate counter-measures.

Dove and Twitter, in fact, have joined forces with the cry of the payoff of #SpeakBeautiful campaign. The team has created a new phase thanks to a tool which will examine how social media affect our self-esteem. This tool will analyze the most used words about the "body" theme and will focus on conversations that it interprets as negative ones.

"We want to rally one of the most digitally savvy and socially conscious audiences to join the conversation," said Jennifer Bremner, director of marketing for Dove. "Body shaming has sadly become a normal part of today's online interactions, but sometimes we do not realize the role we are playing in that conversation."

The #SpeakBeautiful tool comes as a result of the several Dove campaigns to encourage and promote of Real Beauty. The tool will be used to reach the noble goal of ending the negative chatter among women about appearance - their own or others. According to Unilever, the energy invested on #SpeakBeautiful has already contributed to a 36% decrease in negative conversations about beauty.

The analysis that the new tool will provide, will include a 'Beauty Quotient "that compares the state of mind of a woman and how her tone changes when talking about beauty and reveal the most common emotion expressed in her beauty tweets on a spectrum of 46 possibilities

All very interesting, but I wonder if we need a technological tool to hinder our bad habit of being our own worst enemy?!

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Dove and Twitter created a tool to boost our self-esteem | Not Only Twenty

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Dove has always been a brand at the forefront in the battle against the standardization of beauty ideals. Dove was one of the first brands to promote campaigns that really put at the center of the scene normal women. Well, now that the battlefield has shifted to social networks, Dove get appropriate counter-measures.

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Zendaya posted this picture with the description, "Had a new shoot come out today and was shocked when I found my 19 year old hips and torso quite manipulated. These are the things that make women self conscious, that create the unrealistic ideals of beauty that we have. Anyone who knows who I am knows I stand for honest and pure self love. So I took it upon myself to release the real pic (right side) and I love it😍😘 Thank you @modelistemagazine for pulling down the images and fixing this retouch issue. "

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Even ads can influence users into believing how they look, act or feel is not right. This in turn makes users of social media feel they have to change to be someone that is not themselves. Individuals are trying to compare themselves to models, famous people etc. in ads that most likely have had their pictures altered for example using Photoshop.  "Getty Images, the largest stock photo agency in the world, has declared that it will no longer accept images "depicting models whose body shapes have been retouched to make them look thinner or larger". "

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Photos altering the body shape of models be labeled "photographie retouchée," or "retouched photo" in France. Magazines, websites and other publications that use altered images without disclosure face fines of up to €37,500, or $44,000.

As part of the new law, enacted in 2015 but being enforced on October 1st, 2017, models must also get a note from doctors declaring that they are not dangerously thin. "Exposing young people to normative and unrealistic images of bodies leads to a sense of self-depreciation and poor self-esteem," said France's health minister, Marisol Touraine in May.

Getty notes that "other changes made to models like a change of hair color, nose shape, retouching of skin or blemishes, etc., are outside the scope of this new law, and are therefore still acceptable." As pop star Lorde, Christie Teigen and others have caustically noted in the past, however, photoshopping blemishes doesn't exactly do wonders for young people's self-esteem, either.

The situation with France's body-image law is much like strict pollution regulations in California. While those were only implemented in one state, California has enough size and clout to impact the auto industry in the US and elsewhere. In this case, with Paris as the de facto couture capital of the world, the new law is already affecting the fashion industry generally.

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Getty bans images photoshopped to make models look thinner

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Photos altering the body shape of models be labeled "photographie retouchée," or "retouched photo" in France. Magazines, websites and other publications that use altered images without disclosure face fines of up to €37,500, or $44,000.

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"Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Self Esteem And How To Stop It"

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"Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Self Esteem And How To Stop It"

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A year ago, logging on to Facebook felt like playing a game of emotional roulette. I had just finished graduate school and was hunting for a job in magazine journalism. I regularly opened Facebook to see eager, boastful (sometimes smug) posts from classmates who had been hired by large news outlets such as NPR, Business Insider and The Associated Press. As my stomach turned, I would think, Why didn't I get that job? My credentials are just as good! If the post came from a person I didn't deem worthy of such an impressive position, I would fall into a slump of self-pity for the rest of the day. When I saw people who didn't land amazing jobs, I felt an odd sense of satisfaction I'm not proud to admit.

Related: The Business of Self-Esteem

One of my close friends recently texted me: "Well, I just went on Facebook and now I'm crying." She saw the medical school graduations, the new houses and the world travels, and started feeling like her life was at a standstill. Everyone else seemed to have life figured out, and she felt like hers was coasting by.

When L'Oreal Payton-a 28-year-old media relations manager for the Girl Scouts of Greater Chicago and Northwest Indiana-saw friend after friend sharing their engagements on Facebook a few years ago, she couldn't help but throw her own pity parties, too. "I feel like a terrible friend for admitting this, but when one of my close friends got engaged, I was on the phone happy for her and then when I was by myself in the shower, I cried," she says. She had been in a relationship for a longer period of time than her friend, yet she hadn't yet tied the knot. " I didn't feel good about myself."

We tend to compare ourselves to others on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and Snapchat, though Facebook and Instagram (the most visually striking) seem to be the chosen platforms for seeing how we line up. It's a natural human instinct to judge our progress or success in life by seeing how we match up against others-what psychologist Leon Festinger called "social comparison theory" in the 1950s. Karen North, Ph.D., a clinical professor of communication and the director of the digial social media program at the University of Southern California's Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, says we have always looked to others as a way to measure our progress in life. "The only thing that really changes is the technologies that mediate our behavior. Now we're rediscovering psychological principles as they are playing out using digital devices."

The effects of seeing how we measure up to others on social media are still in the nascent stages of research, and North says the concept is not fully understood yet. But one study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology -"Seeing Everyone Else's Highlight Reels: How Facebook Usage is Linked to Depressive Symptoms"-suggests these comparisons may make us depressed. The study looked at college students' social comparison habits and concluded that, "people feel depressed after spending a great deal of time on Facebook because they feel bad when comparing themselves to others."

North emphasizes that studies like this aren't comprehensive enough to be taken at face value-researchers are still fairly unsure how to study this topic, and other factors could have contributed to the depression. But that doesn't mean it isn't a real problem. "Nobody is going to say 'No that doesn't happen,' because it does happen," she says. "This is one where people's gut instincts are correct that reading things on Facebook can make people feel bad about themselves. But it's complicated, because there are all of these nuances."

Now we compare ourselves to perfectly crafted (and sometimes exaggerated) representations of people's lives.

The comparisons we make may leave us feeling blue and insecure, as if we're not keeping up with everyone. We used to compare ourselves to how we saw people at family gatherings or in the office. Now we compare ourselves to perfectly crafted (and sometimes exaggerated) representations of people's lives, without seeing the engagement ring that doesn't fit, the sunburn while surfing in Costa Rica, the less-than-stellar salary at the new job or the anxiety that comes with having a newborn baby. We see exactly what they want us to see.

Social Comparison Theory Amplified

Despite knowing that using social media could make us anxious or depressed, we still scroll through our Facebook and Instagram feeds to see whether people have hit the milestones we also hope to hit. Social comparison is a natural, important part of being human. We want to measure our progress. Payton says she felt great after giving up Facebook for Lent one year, but couldn't resist going back when her curiosity about what everyone else was doing took hold. Today's teenagers call this FOMO, or "fear of missing out."

"How do you figure out where you stand? How do you figure out whether you're good at things or bad at things?" North asks. "What you do, and what everybody does, for the most part, is what we call social comparison theory-we look at others and say, How do we stack up compared to other people around us?"

It's normally a healthy way to measure our progress in life. But it becomes problematic when we compare ourselves to perfectly crafted versions of other people, or when we compare ourselves to people in different stages of life.

North says there is a fascinating phenomenon (and problem) at the heart of social media comparison: choosing who we actually compare ourselves to. She says when you ask people how well they perform a certain task, most will say they can do it better than about two-thirds of their "relevant peer group" at anything, from recreational tennis to teaching fifth grade, to running a company. North says we all have a "very real need" to feel better than this many people, so we alter our relevant peer group in order to feel confident.

JASU HU

"We manipulate what we believe to be our relevant peer group by setting our own standards," she says. The detrimental effect of this is that we're making comparisons that are either way too far-reaching (e.g., an entry-level accountant comparing himself to a CEO) or we're manipulating our group so we're far better than most (e.g., a freelance writer with 40 years of experience comparing himself to 22-year-old bloggers).

North suggests the first step toward healthy comparison-after all, some is good-should be identifying the correct peer group. Then you can make reasonable upward and downward judgments. " Successful people really need to compare upward at least part of the time. They need to find their relevant peer group and say, 'I'm better than two-thirds of my relevant peer group, but let me take a look at the one-third and see what they're doing that's better.' "

By identifying the correct peer group, we can feel our own sense of accomplishment and pride while also admiring those above us and striving to achieve what they have, whether it's a big promotion or a yearly exotic vacation.
Related: 10 Tips to Achieve Anything You Want in Life
Image Crafting at Its Finest

Facebook used to be a platform for posting everything from the new mind-blowing Bright Eyes song we just heard to the delicious beignet we just scarfed down. It began as a way to connect with people both near and far. We enjoyed sharing our day with friends and family. It has since evolved into a platform for sharing the most meaningful, remarkable or unique moments in our lives, not only because we feel a stronger urge to post content that will garner numerous likes, but also because now, we know who else might be looking at our page: potential employers, ex-boyfriends, the new co-worker we want to impress.

We now feel self-imposed pressure to share (and amplify and beautify) the big life moments, not the everyday ones. If we do post the everyday ones, we incorporate image crafting, or the process of posting deceptively exciting and beautifully staged photos in order to seem more perfect on social media. Friends see a couple hiking in Hawaii, but not the terrible argument they had the same day. "On Facebook or Instagram, you don't have the benefit of observing people in their natural environment," North says. "What you see instead is the façade or presentation that people want to portray." We risk comparing our seemingly banal lives with ones that seem thrilling and ever-changing, which can make us feel inferior.

Because of the perceived pressure people feel to post moments just as interesting or exciting as everyone else's, they may exaggerate or share misleading information. Justin Brady, a 32-year-old freelance creative strategist in Des Moines, Iowa, has struggled with feelings of envy or jealousy on social media. Several years ago, an acquaintance of his posted photos from Maui on Twitter and wrote that a conference had flown him out there to be the keynote speaker.

"I'm like, How on earth did that happen? How was he getting these invites? What am I doing wrong? And that really bothered me," Brady says. "Only two years later, I was speaking with him and it popped out that the reality was that he had a full-time job, they flew the entire company out for a conference and he got to speak at a small workshop to his team. It's amazing how what we see on social media is edited."

North agrees, calling Facebook a "PR machine"-a vessel for ensuring others see our lives as picture-perfect and impressive, not riddled with the inevitable setbacks and flaws.

I later discovered that the classmate who I thought landed a job at NPR was really just an intern. And Payton discovered her friend who landed a killer job after college only did so because her dad had a connection on staff.

"People need to learn to take other people's social media posts with a grain of salt and recognize that it represents how people want to share their experiences," North says. "All the facts are not there."

The next time you are tempted to throw a social media-induced pity party, remember that most of the time, nothing is nearly as perfect as it seems.

Related: Relishing an Imperfect Life

This article originally appeared in the September 2016 issue of SUCCESS magazine.

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Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Self-Esteem-and How to Stop It

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A year ago, logging on to Facebook felt like playing a game of emotional roulette. I had just finished graduate school and was hunting for a job in magazine journalism. I regularly opened Facebook to see eager, boastful (sometimes smug) posts from classmates who had been hired by large news outlets such as NPR, Business Insider and The Associated Press.

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7 Ways That Social Media Can Affect Your Self-Esteem

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7 Ways That Social Media Can Affect Your Self-Esteem

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This article talks about different ways that media can impact your self-esteem in a negative way. It is good to be aware of these concerns so you are better prepared! Here are just a few...
1. The Ads
2.The Perfect Life
3.The Curating Of Our Online Stuff
4.The Battle For Likes

Read the article to find out the rest!

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When I was in high school, we didn't have social media. I know, I know. I'm 34 and from one of the last generations to go through my formative years free of the ways social media wrecks self-esteem. But when I got to college, suddenly there was MySpace, then Facebook, and then overnight everyone had phones and computers and there were too many social platforms to keep up with.

I must admit, for an introvert like myself, it was kind of nice to be able to feel connected to the outside world without having to actually go out in it. But this new socialization brought it's own pressures, like the desire to look good online, and to come across as funny and interesting - struggles people have in real face-to-face interactions, but applied to a non-stop, global network of people.

When I worked with couples and individuals as a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Responsible Sexuality Educator, I saw some shocking ways social media wrecked self esteem and strained relationships.

Today the struggles are tenfold, as not only do you have to look good and be interesting, but you have to be good at things and appear successful and you have to also seem to have an interesting life. And there are more and more watchers, and more and more brands and advertisers, in the mix. All this, put together, can make a cocktail for reduced self-esteem and feelings of low self-worth, in even the most popular social media users. If you can relate to these ways social media affects our self-worth, it might be time to unplug a little every once in awhile.

1. The Ads

Advertising has a clear and proven impact on our self-esteem, according to a University of Chicago study published in the Journal of Consumer Research. While we may be making a conscious effort to avoid advertising in magazines and on TV, we might be taking for granted that the Internet is rife with advertising. Even some of the posts you see that you think are just the daily lives of some of your favorite Internet personalities are really very targeted advertising, designed to make you think or feel a certain way. Everything from Kylie Jenner's latest selfie in a perfect bathing suit to a blogger in her running shoes is likely sponsored in the hopes of getting you to buy something.

2. The Perfect Life

French researchers from Institut Pluridisciplinaire Hubert Curien, in an 2013 article published in PLoS ONE, found that the more time we spend on social media sites, like Facebook, comparing ourselves to others, the more depressed we get. We forget to take into account that a lot of what we are seeing, especially from brands and celebrities, is carefully orchestrated. It's not real life. Even our friends and family (and ourselves) tend to only post the best versions of ourselves and our lives. We see those smiling selfies with perfect makeup and we forget that there were probably 50 shots before that one that looked like Mr. Potato Head or something equally unflattering.

3. The Curating Of Our Online Stuff

Our social media profiles are an extension of our identity, according to Ray Williams in an Article for Psychology Today. That makes our posts, pictures, and activities like virtual possessions or pieces of ourselves. That alone makes us fodder for marketers who want to sell us products to make perfect photos, increase our popularity, have the nicest profile, and get the most views and likes. It's kind of like the old "keeping up with the Jones'" trope that has neighbors out-buying each other for appearances. It keeps us in a place where we equate self worth with stuff, even if the "stuff" in this case, is our social media profiles.

4. The Battle For Likes

Since we use social media, in part, to get attention, it can be hurtful when we don't get that attention. We can equate that attention with approval or self worth. Michelle Linker, a daily Instagram user, told The Guardian "I feel anxiety over how many likes I get after I post a picture. If I get two likes, I feel like, what's wrong with me?" It's a popularity contest that's often rigged by advertisers and Internet marketers. When we post something that doesn't get a lot of likes, we can feel rejected, which causes our self-worth to take a hit.

5. The False Connections

Sherrie Campbell, a psychotherapist, told Alternet "social media can give us a false sense of belonging and connecting that is not built on real-life exchanges. This makes it increasingly easy to lose oneself to cyberspace connections and give them more weight than they deserve." We make connections, and even friendships, that aren't necessarily real, at least not in the sense that real-world friendships have. That's not to say that you can't have meaningful relationships with people you meet online. It just means you're also open to a lot of false connections that don't have an equal give and take.

6. The Folly Of The Tutorial

Social media is a hotbed for information on how to do things. Brands and individuals post tutorials on everything from how to get the perfect eyebrows to how to make a cake. Those tutorials, created by experts, carefully edited, and perfectly lit, make baking a three-tiered cake with delicate floral decorations seem as easy as kindergarten-level cut and paste. When you try to re-enact these tutorials, you're likely to fail, because you're a beginner, not an expert.

7. The Interruption Of Our Emotional Lives

The good, healthy things about life, like hanging out with friends and family, learning something new in school, watching your kids in a play, or seeing something beautiful in nature, are often interrupted by our social media lives. We are not fully engaged in the healthy activities of life because we want to document them to make us look interesting on social media. It's a voyeuristic approach to life that opens you up to all kinds of negative consequences, such as eating disorders, depression, and interruption of your sleep cycle, according to Jodie Gummow in an article for AlterNet.

I know it seems like crazy talk, but unplugging once in awhile is a great way to get back in touch with what you think makes you great, instead of what others think. Because seriously, you're great.

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7 Ways Social Media Can Affect Your Self-Esteem

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When I was in high school, we didn't have social media. I know, I know. I'm 34 and from one of the last generations to go through my formative years free of the ways social media wrecks self-esteem. But when I got to college, suddenly there was...

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Social media is a growing platform that can be positive or negative depending on the user. The negatives seem to out way the positives but there are company's like Dove who are trying to piece back together the confidence lost because of the false image social media has created of body image, appearances etc. Users have to be aware of Ads that contain body shaming or unrealistic expectations. There are several sites and surveys explaining and proving time and time again that social media does have a strong impact on teens and the way they see themselves. It is important to be aware of the different underlying issues of using media platforms like Twitter, Facebook or Instagram and ways to combat the pressure.

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There is hope for adolescents that are using social media. Trends like #nofilter, #uglyselfie and #nomakeup are on the uprise, encouraging girls to be confident about their self image and show the world who they are under their makeup or just in sweatpants. Here are 25 easy ways to boost your self confidence! Ranging from getting to know yourself to just smiling more often.

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Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. - E.E. Cummings

One of the things that held me back from pursuing my dreams for many years was fear of failure ... and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.

It's something we all face, to some degree, I think. The key question: how do you overcome that fear?

By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that's what I've been doing over the years, and that's what helped me finally overcome my fears, and finally pursue my dreams.

I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I know that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I've done it many times now, and that success will fuel further success.

This post was inspired by reader Nick from Finland, who asked for an article about self-worth and self-confidence:

Many of the things you propose make people feel better about themselves and actually help building self-confidence. However, I would be interested on reading your input in general on this topic. Taking time out for your own plans and dreams, doing things another way than most other people and generally not necessarily "fitting in" can be quite hard with a low self-confidence.

Truer words have never been spoken. It's near impossible to make time for your dreams, to break free from the traditional mold, and to truly be yourself, if you have low self-esteem and self-confidence.

As an aside, I know that some people make a strong distinction between self-esteem and self-confidence. In this article, I use them interchangeably, even if there is a subtle but perhaps important difference ... the difference being whether you believe you're worthy of respect from others (self-esteem) and whether you believe in yourself (self-confidence). In the end, both amount to the same thing, and in the end, the actions I mention below give a boost to both self-esteem and self-confidence.

Taking control of your self-confidence
If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? Is your self-confidence in your control?

While it may not seem so, if you are low in self-confidence, I strongly believe that you can do things to increase your self-confidence. It is not genetic, and you do not have to be reliant on others to increase your self-confidence. And if you believe that you are not very competent, not very smart, not very attractive, etc. ... that can be changed.

You can become someone worthy of respect, and someone who can pursue what he wants despite the naysaying of others.

You can do this by taking control of your life, and taking control of your self-confidence. By taking concrete actions that improve your competence, your self-image, you can increase that self-confidence, without the help of anyone else.

Below, I outline 25 things that will help you do that. None of them is revolutionary, none of them will do it all by themselves. The list certainly isn't comprehensive. These are just some of my favorite things, stuff that's worked for me.

And you don't need to do all of them, as if this were a recipe ... pick and choose those that appeal to you, maybe just a couple at first, and give them a try. If they work, try others. If they don't, try others.

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it's amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.

2. Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above ... if you dress nicely, you'll feel good about yourself. You'll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone ... it doesn't necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

3. Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn't fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it's not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.

4. Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven't.

5. Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it's so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you're doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, "This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV." Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. ("C'mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!")

Know yourself and you will win all battles. - Sun Tzu

6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can't defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you're trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they're real limitations or just ones you've allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you'll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.

7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It's one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can't, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You'll soon start to notice a difference.

8. Be kind and generous. Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.

One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. - Arthur Ashe

9. Get prepared. It's hard to be confident in yourself if you don't think you'll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven't studied, you won't have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you're prepared, and you'll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.

10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don't know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to "Live my Passion"). Think about your principles ... you might have them but perhaps you haven't given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don't act on them.

11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn't worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn't want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don't feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don't take it to an extreme, but just don't sound rushed either.

12. Stand tall. I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That's a good thing any day, in my book.

13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don't try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you'll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.

14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You'll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you'll be at it, and the better you'll feel. Soon you'll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you've accomplished it, you'll feel like a million bucks.

16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. "I'm fat and lazy!" So how can you solve that? "But I can't motivate myself!" So how can you solve that? "But I have no energy!" So what's the solution?

17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.

18. Volunteer. Related to the "be kind and generous" item above, but more specific. It's the holiday season right now ... can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It'll be some of the best time you've ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you'll feel better about yourself, instantly.

19. Be grateful. I'm a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who's been reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity ... it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Read more.

20. Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you'll see benefits. Start the habit.

21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared ... by becoming more knowledgeable, you'll be more confident ... and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.

22. Do something you've been procrastinating on. What's on your to-do list that's been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You'll feel great about yourself.

23. Get active. Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes ... but mistakes are a part of life. It's how we learn. Without mistakes, we'd never get better. So don't worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active - physically, or active by taking steps to accomplish something.

24. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you'll be a self-confident maniac.

25. Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me. Here's how.

Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in four C s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable. - Walt Disney

Tell me who you are again?
I'm Leo Babauta, founder of Zen Habits. I transformed my life about 15 years ago, and have helped thousands of people change theirs through habit change and mindfulness training. I'm a vegan dad, a husband, and we're now living in San Diego. Read about my mission to change the world through uncertainty training.
🔥Are you ready to join us in Fearless Living?
Commit Yourself to Practice in the 3 Core Pillars of the Fearless Path so you can step fully into your life ... to create a well-lived life of meaning:
Learn more about the Fearless Living Academy

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25 Killer Actions to Boost Your Self-Confidence - zen habits

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"Social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills." Clarissa Silva conducted her own survey finding that 60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way.

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Social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills. As a Behavioral Scientist, I wonder what causes this paradox? The narratives we share and portray on social media are all positive and celebratory. It's a hybridized digital version of "Keeping up with the Joneses". Meaning for some, sometimes it appears everyone you know are in great relationships, taking 5-star vacations and living your dream life. However, what is shared across our social networks only broadcasts the positive aspects of our lives- the highlight reels.

Since we're only getting people's highlight reels and comparing it to ourselves, it is natural to have reactions to what we're watching. How does this impact relationships, dating and our love lives? I conducted in-depth interviews with men and women, ranging from ages 28-73, that are active social media users and found that:

60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way

50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships

80% reported that is easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media

It seems that social media is creating a paradox effect: giving off the illusion of many choices, while making it harder to find viable options. Can it be that our highly connected world has now become disconnected? Dr. Jennifer Rhodes, a licensed psychologist, relationship expert, and the founder of the bi-coastal relationship consultancy, Rapport Relationships, explains "My clients that are a little obsessed with following dates on social media really do lack the skills to communicate effectively in person. This lack of security and communication skills most definitely increases anxiety and depression. I see so much anxiety related to dating and how to navigate texting & communication that I have started to use Social Fitness training to teach assertiveness skills with my clients".

Posting dinners, selfies and vacay photos over human interaction for some is interaction. That IS their interaction. Natalia Lusinski, Sex, Dating, and Relationships writer for Bustle, says " I feel couples forget how to talk in real life, with all the texting and social media-updating that they do. They seem to know everything about each other and each other's days already, so they don't feel the need to talk much in person."

The paradox effect in dating is creating the illusion of having more social engagement, social capital, and popularity, but masking one's true persona. Since some are interfacing digitally more than physically it is much easier to emotionally manipulate others because they are reliant on what I call "Vanity Validation". The one you portray on your networks and the true you, for some creates a double consciousness. Your lauded self on social media is constantly seeking more validation through electronic likes, not life. Lusinski describes this best, "I feel many people convey all the positive pics, updates, etc. - but then, once you date them, you realize there are several other layers to them, not just the positive façade they convey online." For some, projecting what they want people to see and getting likes, plusses, re-tweets, and shares helps them feel better about themselves and connected to others.

Self-Esteem and "Vanity Validation"

In the latest Match Singles in America study's findings on how social media has impacted people's dating lives, they found that 57% of singles say social media has generated a Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO). Dr. Suzana Flores, author of Facehooked: How Facebook Affects our Emotions, Relationships and Lives explains "when someone interacts over social media for prolonged periods of time, inevitably they feel compelled to continue to check for updates. I call this the "Slot Machine Effect" in that when we receive a like or a comment to a post, or when we come across an interesting new post from someone else, we experience what psychologists refer to as intermittent reinforcement-sometimes we get "rewarded" with an interesting post, and sometimes we are not, but the rewards through external validation of our posts, cause us to remain digitally connected."

The "Slot Machine Effect" and comparing ourselves to others is just one side of FOMO. Match reported 51% say social media has made them feel more self-conscious about their appearance. Flores further explains "research has also shown that Facebook users are becoming increasingly depressed from comparing themselves to their own profile. Meaning that if a person's reality does not match the digital illusion they post on their profiles, emotionally, one may feel they are not living up to the "best" form of themselves."

"Emotionally secure people do not struggle as much with these issues. However, a large portion of our population has emotional insecurities and these folks are the ones that would benefit from a dating consultation to provide them with the tools and support to learn how to more effectively communicate their needs and desires. Social media and texting have made it all too easy to default to one's own perception rather than remain curious about what may actually be going on." cautions Rhodes.

This is just an aspect of what is occurring in today's rapidly evolving digital world. For us to accept these behaviors with disregard for how it impacts us emotionally is what the core of what I call, The Millennial Virus, is. What is it doing to our sense of self? Are we becoming more narcissistic? Are we becoming more insecure? Is technology driving dating, sex and emotion? Are dating patterns just an extension of how we behave on social networks?

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Social media has been linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills. As a Behavioral Scientist, I wonder what causes this paradox? The narratives we share and portray on social media are all positive and celebratory. It's a hybridized digital version of "Keeping up with the Joneses".

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Children, Teens, Media and Body Image Survey

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Children, Teens, Media and Body Image Survey

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This survey found that teens that are active online worry about how they are perceived on a regular basis and that girls are more vulnerable. The survey found that 35% of teen girls worry about being tagged in unattractive photos. Another 27% stress about how they look in posted pictures and 22% felt bad about themselves if their posts were ignored or had a low amount of likes or favourites.

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Our review of research on the links between body image and media examines the role of both traditional media (movies, TV, magazines, ads) as well as newer forms of interactive, online, digital and social media. We find that body image begins to develop at a very young age and that multiple factors -- especially parents, some media, and peers -- are influential. Body-image issues are widely prevalent, and societal norms around appearance and weight depicted in kids' media are gendered, stereotypical, and unrealistic. Kids' consumption of mainstream media puts them at risk of developing unhealthy approaches to their bodies. Research on social media and body image is in its infancy but suggests these new media can present both positive and negative environments for self- and body esteem. Our report uncovers large gaps in research on body image and media. Several groups -- young children, boys, kids of color, LGBTQ youth -- are not well-studied, longitudinal and ethnographic methods are rare, and research on online, digital media has yet to keep pace with the explosion in their use by kids and teens.

Download the full report at the link above, or see highlights and practical tips for parents in our infographic.

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Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image | Common Sense Media

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Our review of research on the links between body image and media examines the role of both traditional media (movies, TV, magazines, ads) as well as newer forms of interactive, online, digital and social media. We find that body image begins to develop at a very young age and that multiple factors -- especially parents, some media, and peers -- are influential.

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This CNN report takes a look at the underlying problems of social media and their impact to todays generation.

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The resulting likes, thumbs-ups, and other ratings all get tallied, both in the stark arithmetic of the Internet and in kids' own minds. For some -- especially girls -- what starts as a fun way to document and share experiences can turn into an obsession about approval that can wreak havoc on self-image.

That kids have been comparing themselves to popular images in traditional media -- and coming up short -- is a well-researched phenomenon. But new studies are just beginning to determine the effects of social media -- which is arguably more immediate and intimate -- on the way kids view themselves.

A Common Sense survey called Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image found that many teens who are active online fret about how they're perceived, and that girls are particularly vulnerable:

35 percent are worried about people tagging them in unattractive photos.

27 percent feel stressed about how they look in posted photos.

22 percent felt bad about themselves if their photos were ignored.

How Kids Get Feedback

You probably know about popular apps such as Instagram and Snapchat. But the specific ways kids use these tools to get -- and give -- feedback can be troubling. Here are a few examples:

Instagram. The number of followers, likes, and emojis kids can collect gets competitive, with users often begging for them. Instagram "beauty pageants" and other photo-comparison activities crop up, with losers earning a big red X on their pics.

Snapchat. Numerical scores display the total number of sent and received chats. You can view your friends' scores to keep tabs on who's racking up the most views.

Hot or Not. This quintessential rating app lets you judge the attractiveness of others based on a series of photos, tapping either a heart sign or an X to to rank them. Users log in to see what others think of them.

#tbh. When Instagram users type "#tbh," they're indicating either that they want others to honestly appraise their selfies or they're expressing their true feelings about someone else's looks. Examples: "#tbh am I pretty?" or "#tbh I think you're really pretty." Although #tbh is usually positive, it can get negative in specific and hurtful ways, and even when it stays positive, it reinforces the idea that appearance is what matters most.

"Am I pretty or ugly?" YouTube videos. Kids -- mostly girls -- post videos of themselves asking if other users think they're pretty or ugly. These videos are typically public, allowing anyone -- from kids at school to random strangers -- to post a comment.

The Good News

Although approval-seeking and self-doubt continue to plague girls both privately and publicly, there are signs of fatigue. The "no-filter" trend is prompting girls to share their true selves and accept (and even challenge) whatever feedback they receive. Under hashtags such as "uglyselfie," and "nomakeup" girls post pics of their unadorned selves, funny faces, unretouched images, and "epic fails" (attempts at perfect selfies that went wrong).

Given that adolescents are naturally eager for peer validation -- precisely when they begin to use social tools that provide it -- it's encouraging to see kids having fun with the notion of perfection.

As a matter of fact, one of the Common Sense study's most welcome findings is that social media has the potential to combat unrealistic appearance ideals and stereotypes. And, after all, kids use social media to be, well, social, and constant rejection and pressure is no fun at all.

It makes you realize just how powerful social media tools can be. While they foster relationships and engagement -- and can even bolster self-esteem -- they can be both constructive and destructive.

That's why you can't leave it all up to kids to find their way. Whether your kids are just getting into social media or are seasoned posters, it's critical to help guide them to use Snapchat, Instagram, and other networking apps for fun and connection and not as fuel for self-doubt.

What You Can Do

Talk about the pictures they post. Experimenting with identity is natural, and it's very common for kids to adopt provocative stances in cell phone pictures, on their social network pages, and in YouTube videos. But are they doing it only because they think others expect it of them? What pose would they strike if they could do anything they wanted?

Ask how feedback makes them feel. Are they stressed out by others' comments and feedback? Does it make them feel better to be "liked?" Why is external approval important? How do negative comments make them feel?

Help them develop a healthy self-image. Body image is developed early in childhood, and the family environment is very influential on how kids view themselves. Emphasize what the body can do instead of what it looks like. Also, be careful of criticizing your own looks and weight.

Rely on role models. Positive role models have an enormous effect on kids. Cultivate relationships with women your daughter can look up to. Also, point out celebrities and other famous folks who challenge stereotypes about size and beauty and seem comfortable in their own skins.

Help them stop the cycle. Urge them to post constructive comments that support their friends for who they are, not what they look like.

Help them view media critically. Talk about over-sexualized images or unrealistic body ideals of girls in the media. Explore websites such as the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in the Media and the Representation Project that promote the importance of positive body image and valuing women for their contributions to society.

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How girls use social media to build up, break down self-image

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The resulting likes, thumbs-ups, and other ratings all get tallied, both in the stark arithmetic of the Internet and in kids' own minds. For some -- especially girls -- what starts as a fun way to document and share experiences can turn into an obsession about approval that can wreak havoc on self-image.

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There are numerous pages like "Ugly People Problems" they promote that if you relate to their tweets then you're ugly. With over 250 thousand followers pages like this is just one example of how social media can cause users to be insecure.

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Before, social media like Facebook caused self consciousness or lowered self esteem when some users would see pictures of people on vacation all the time or great profile pictures. But this has escalated since the arrival of Instagram specially when the user is having a bad day, week etc... In some cases Instagram has the ability to almost "look for your insecurities". In this video below, youtuber Petra Wood talks about social media and low self- esteem as well as two morals. The first being that there's always going to be demoralizing moments on social media but you can't let it get you down and second that you shouldn't use social media to help with your ego. This is because it fades eventually and then ultimately your left with yourself again. She prompts users to accept their insecurities because everyone has quirks and that you're not alone!

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Weekly Infusion of Wellness: Episode 07 Along with social media's positive attributes comes a price. This episode covers its impact on self-esteem and self-image Contact: weeklyinfusionofwellness@gmail.com

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Back in 2015, an Australian teenage girl
with more than 500 thousand followers on Instagram quit the platform. She explained it was “contrived perfection made to get attention”, and called for others to quit social media to get their confidence back with help from her new website.

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Teen Instagram Star Quits Social Media because It's 'not Real Life'

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She's unfollowing her image. The 18-year-old Australian beauty, Essena O'Neill, currently has 876 followers on Instagram and nearly 275,000 YouTube subscribers, many of whom washed up for her beach-side selfies. Last week, O'Neil took down her Tumblr and Snapchat accounts and renamed her YouTube and Instagram accounts, "Social Media Is Not Real Life."

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Hashtags like #slay and #skinny have more then 6 million uses each or even #makeupeveryday with over 20 thousand. Trends like this imply pressure for females to be or appear a certain way. Even the trend #catfish with 1 million uses on Instagram alone is used for "exposing" people who don't look like their pictures on social media in person.

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Teens are comparing themselves to popular individuals as well as trending brands and these are usually unrealistic expectations that can lower their confidence. Instagram  pages like Victoria Secret having 58.1 million followers is just one example. Pages like this can cause females to compare themselves with the company models.  

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Teens are comparing themselves to popular individuals as well as trending brands and these are usually unrealistic expectations that can lower their confidence. Instagram  pages like Victoria Secret having 58.1 million followers is just one example. Pages like this can cause females to compare themselves with the company models.  