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I must have been screaming because when I woke my parents were in the room. (61)

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I must have been screaming because when I woke my parents were in the room. (61)

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“The thing is, I love my dad, My mom too. And I keep wondering what they’re going to say when I tell them someday I want to marry a boy. I wonder how that’s going to go over? I’m the only son. What’s going to happen with the grandchildren thing?I hate that I’m going to disappoint them, Ari. I know I’ve disappointed you too.”(227)

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“The thing is, I love my dad, My mom too. And I keep wondering what they’re going to say when I tell them someday I want to marry a boy. I wonder how that’s going to go over? I’m the only son. What’s going to happen with the grandchildren thing?I hate that I’m going to disappoint them, Ari. I know I’ve disappointed you too.”(227)

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“The problem with my life was that it was someone else’s idea.” (8)

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“The problem with my life was that it was someone else’s idea.” (8)

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Ari feels like his life is being controlled by everyone but himself. He wants to be able to think for himself, and make his own decisions.

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“See, the thing about guys is that I didn’t really care to be around them. I mean, guys really made me uncomfortable. I don’t know why, not exactly. I just , I don’t know, I just didn’t belong.” (16)

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“See, the thing about guys is that I didn’t really care to be around them. I mean, guys really made me uncomfortable. I don’t know why, not exactly. I just , I don’t know, I just didn’t belong.” (16)

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“All I did was smile at him. He’d told me something about himself.” (pg.66)

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“You know, Ari, if you really wanted to be a bad boy, you’d just do it. The last thing bad boys need is their mothers approval.“ (pg 136)

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“‘You don’t have to say anything. I know that we’re different. We’re not the same.’”

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“‘You don’t have to say anything. I know that we’re different. We’re not the same.’”

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“It’s not good for you to keep everything inside. I know this is hard” “Keeping everything bottled up inside of you won’t help you heal.” (Page 134)

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“It’s not good for you to keep everything inside. I know this is hard” “Keeping everything bottled up inside of you won’t help you heal.” (Page 134)

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“Killed, ok. ‘People keep saying that. Look Doc, I’m alive.’ ‘You dont like much like being a hero, do you?’ I told Dante I didnt do it on purpose...It was just a reflex.”

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“Killed, ok. ‘People keep saying that. Look Doc, I’m alive.’ ‘You dont like much like being a hero, do you?’ I told Dante I didnt do it on purpose...It was just a reflex.”

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“So I renamed myself Ari. If I switched the letter, my name was Air. I thought it might be a great thing to be the air. I could be something and nothing at the same time. I could be necessary and also invisible. Everyone would need me and no one would be able to see me.” (pg 84)

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“I don’t belong anywhere. That’s the problem”(88).

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“I don’t belong anywhere. That’s the problem”(88).

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Dante feels like he doesn’t belong in his family because he doesn’t know much about Mexico while the rest of his family does. The passage says that you should just be you.

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“Dante is the first friend I’ve ever had. That scares me. … I think that if Dante really knew me, he wouldn’t like me.”(98)

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“Dante is the first friend I’ve ever had. That scares me. … I think that if Dante really knew me, he wouldn’t like me.”(98)

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This quotes proves that Ari was very self-conscious of himself, he got Dante as his best friend, yet unaware of their status or feelings towards each other. Foreshadowing how Dante revealed that he loves Ari.

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“Dante is the first friend I’ve ever had. That scares me. … I think that if Dante really knew me, he wouldn’t like me.”(98)

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“Dante is the first friend I’ve ever had. That scares me. … I think that if Dante really knew me, he wouldn’t like me.”(98)

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“We were both smiling, trying to hold in our laughter – but we just couldn’t do it. I was happy that he’d come over. Being sick made me feel fragile, like I might break. I didn’t like feeling like that. Laughing made me feel better.”  (Sorry I don't know the page number, but it's from Part 2)

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“We were both smiling, trying to hold in our laughter – but we just couldn’t do it. I was happy that he’d come over. Being sick made me feel fragile, like I might break. I didn’t like feeling like that. Laughing made me feel better.”  (Sorry I don't know the page number, but it's from Part 2)

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Ari reveals that he has trouble feeling vulnerable around others, so he puts up a barrier by laughing instead.

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”So I just kept it inside. That’s what I did with everything. Kept it inside.” (126)

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”So I just kept it inside. That’s what I did with everything. Kept it inside.” (126)

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" 'I always wanted a brother.' 'Yeah, well, I might as well not have one.' … 'We don't talk about him. It's like he's dead.' … 'He's in prison, Dante.' I'd never told anyone about my brother. I'd never said a word about him to another human being. I felt bad for talking about him" (86).

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" 'I always wanted a brother.' 'Yeah, well, I might as well not have one.' … 'We don't talk about him. It's like he's dead.' … 'He's in prison, Dante.' I'd never told anyone about my brother. I'd never said a word about him to another human being. I felt bad for talking about him" (86).

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“‘I don’t care if you don't want to talk about [Vietnam]. But I do care that you won't talk about my brother. Damn it to hell, Dad, I can’t stand to live with all your silence.’” (260)

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“‘I don’t care if you don't want to talk about [Vietnam]. But I do care that you won't talk about my brother. Damn it to hell, Dad, I can’t stand to live with all your silence.’” (260)

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“As Dante and I lay on our backs in the bed of my pickup and gazed out at the summer stars, I was free. Imagine that. Aristotle Mendoza, a free man. I wasn’t afraid anymore." (359)

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“As Dante and I lay on our backs in the bed of my pickup and gazed out at the summer stars, I was free. Imagine that. Aristotle Mendoza, a free man. I wasn’t afraid anymore." (359)

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Page 147 - “[...] And I hated Dante too. And I hated myself for hating them. So there it was, my own vicious cycle. My own private universe of hate.”

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Page 147 - “[...] And I hated Dante too. And I hated myself for hating them. So there it was, my own vicious cycle. My own private universe of hate.”

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Ari explains that he hates everyone, but he also hates himself. The reason behind this is his trauma from the accident, and not wanting anything to change since then.

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Page 207 - “A guy has to be ready for important things. That’s how I saw it.”

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Page 207 - “A guy has to be ready for important things. That’s how I saw it.”

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When Ari is offered mind-altering substances by a friend, he turns it down but is still curious, claiming that “this is an important thing men should be ready for”. We can see how this toxic masculinity is being forced onto Ari, when we also know he is not very much like the typical boy on the inside, as shown in the first part of the book.

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“All I did was smile at him. He’d told me something about himself.” (pg.66)

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“‘He didn't want to disappoint you…’ ‘ 'He has to be a boy and he has to like girls’…so that you could have grandchildren…’” (303).

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“‘He didn't want to disappoint you…’ ‘ 'He has to be a boy and he has to like girls’…so that you could have grandchildren…’” (303).

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“Sometimes, you do things and you do them not because you’re thinking but because you’re feeling. Because you’re feeling too much. pg 310

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“Sometimes, you do things and you do them not because you’re thinking but because you’re feeling. Because you’re feeling too much. pg 310

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This quote shows the way Ari prosses trauma and this type of venting seems to be how his brother dealt with trauma as well.

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“I think I upset him by bringing up my brother. I don’t want to upset him, but I do. I always upset him. And other people too. I guess that’s what I do. And I upset you too. I know that. And I’m sorry. I’m doing the best I can, okay? So if I don’t write as many letters as you do, don’t be upset. I’m not doing it to upset you, okay? This is my problem. I want other people to tell me how they feel. But I’m not so sure I want to return the favor” (194).

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“I think I upset him by bringing up my brother. I don’t want to upset him, but I do. I always upset him. And other people too. I guess that’s what I do. And I upset you too. I know that. And I’m sorry. I’m doing the best I can, okay? So if I don’t write as many letters as you do, don’t be upset. I’m not doing it to upset you, okay? This is my problem. I want other people to tell me how they feel. But I’m not so sure I want to return the favor” (194).