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Understanding others through what they've gone through shows empathy.

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Helping others in need during terrible times is an example of empathy.

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Songs can connect and speak emotions such as empathy.

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Empathy is often confused for sympathy

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Emotional Differences

The feeling of sympathy emerges from the recognition that another person is suffering, in contrast to empathy, where the other person's pain or suffering is felt. A person expresses sympathy, but shares empathy. The empathic feeling may be brief, and the person feeling it is said to "put themselves in the other person's place."

Of the two, empathy is a deeper feeling, but sympathy can be just as honest and heartfelt. However, empathy can forge a deeper and more meaningful connection, thus serving as a bridge for greater communication between individuals or between a leader and his or her followers.

Relationship Between Empathy and Sympathy

The basis for both sympathy and empathy is compassion, a blending of understanding and acceptance of others that can be seen as being derived or enhanced by knowledge and wisdom.

Compassion recognizes the "me" in "you," the shared commonality of feelings between individuals. Both sympathy and empathy imply caring for another person, but with empathy, the caring is enhanced or expanded by being able to feel the other person's emotions.

This video offers a clear and concise overview of the differences between sympathy and empathy:

Examples

Empathy and sympathy are not mutually exclusive, nor are they always felt in tandem. For example, people who lose a loved one can receive sympathy from many, but only those who have experienced a similar loss are able to empathize truly.

A case where there might be sympathy, but no empathy, could include someone who files for bankruptcy. Most people who care about that person would feel sympathetic to their situation - and maybe pity them, a feeling sometimes closely related to sympathy - but relatively few would be capable of empathizing, as only a minority of people ever go through the experience of filing for bankruptcy themselves.

Empathy, Sympathy, and Humanity

The capacity to sympathize and empathize are considered vital for a sense of humanity - i.e., the ability to understand one's fellow humans and their problems. People who lack this capacity are often classified as narcissistic, sociopathic, or in extreme cases, psychopathic. However, these terms are only applicable if a person consistently lacks the capacity to sympathize or empathize with others.

In general, there are many cases where people may not feel sympathetic or empathetic due to lack of knowledge or because their experiences are different; this does not imply abnormal behavior. On the other hand, some people are overly empathetic and can eventually be overwhelmed by the negative feelings they take on from their relationships and encounters with other people.

Origin of the Words

The word "sympathy" comes from the ancient Greek sunpathos, meaning "with/together" and "suffering." The word was modified in Late Latin to sympathia and then in Middle French to sympathie.

"Empathy" was coined in 1909 by British psychologist Edward B. Titchener. While the word's spelling borrows from an ancient Greek word, empátheia, which meant "passion," Titchener used "empathy" for the purpose of translating a German word ( einfühlungsvermögen) and its concept of shared feeling.

Interestingly, in modern Greek, empátheia no longer has positive connotations. It instead refers to negative feelings or prejudices against another person.

References

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What's the difference between Empathy and Sympathy? Empathy is the ability to experience the feelings of another person. It goes beyond sympathy, which is caring and understanding for the suffering of others. Both words are used similarly and often interchangeably (incorrectly so) but differ subtly in thei...

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There are more than 1 type of empathy.

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Being cool in crisis seems essential for our being able to think clearly. But what if keeping cool makes you too cold to care? In other words, must we sacrifice empathy to stay calm? That's the dilemma facing those who are preparing top teams to handle the next Katrina-like catastrophe we might face. Which gets me to Paul Ekman, a world expert on emotions and our ability to read and respond to them in others. Paul and I had a long conversation recently, in which he described three very different ways to sense another person's feelings.

The first is "cognitive empathy," simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. Sometimes called perspective-taking, this kind of empathy can help in, say, a negotiation or in motivating people. A study at the University of Birmingham found, for example, that managers who are good at perspective-taking were able to move workers to give their best efforts.

But there can be a dark side to this sort of empathy - in fact, those who fall within the "Dark Triad" - narcissists, Machiavellians, and sociopaths (see Chapter 8 in Social Intelligence) - can be talented in this regard, while having no sympathy whatever for their victims. As Paul told me, a torturer needs this ability, if only to better calibrate his cruelty - and talented political operatives no doubt have this ability in abundance.

Katrina's devastation, we all saw, was amplified enormously by the lackadaisical response from the very agencies that were supposed to manage the emergency. As we all witnessed, leaders at the highest levels were weirdly detached, despite the abundant evidence on our TV screens that the disaster's victims were doubly victimized by the indifference to their suffering.

Certainly empathy qualifies as one critical measure of the right leader in a crisis, along with being cool under pressure. But exactly what kind of empathy should we look for? When it comes to the right leader for a crisis, cognitive empathy alone seems insufficient . Then, Paul told me, there's "emotional empathy," - when you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious. This emotional contagion, social neuroscience tells us, depends in large part on the mirror neuron system (see Chapter Three in Social Intelligence). Emotional empathy makes someone well-attuned to another person's inner emotional world, a plus in any of a wide range of callings, from sales to nursing - let alone for any parent or lover.

One downside of emotional empathy occurs when people lack the ability to manage their own distressing emotions can be seen in the psychological exhaustion that leads to burnout. The purposeful detachment cultivated by those in medicine offers one way to inoculate against burnout. But the danger arises when detachment leads to indifference, rather than to well-calibrated caring.

Finally, there's what Paul calls "compassionate empathy," which I've written about using the term "empathic concern" (see Chapter Six in Social Intelligence). With this kind of empathy we not only understand a person's predicament and feel with them, but are spontaneously moved to help, if needed.

Paul told me about his daughter, who works as a social worker in a large city hospital. In her situation, he said, she can't afford to let emotional empathy overwhelm her. "My daughter's clients don't want her to cry when they're crying," as he put it. "They want her to help them figure out what to do now - how to arrange a funeral, how to deal with the loss of a child." Empathic concern was the vital ingredient missing in the top-level response to Hurricane Katrina.

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Three Kinds of Empathy: Cognitive, Emotional, Compassionate - Daniel Goleman

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Being cool in crisis seems essential for our being able to think clearly. But what if keeping cool makes you too cold to care? In other words, must we sacrifice empathy to stay calm? That's the dilemma facing those who are preparing top teams to handle the next Katrina-like catastrophe we might face.

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Empathy books.

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Books shelved as empathy: Wonder by R.J. Palacio, Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson, Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine, The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig,...

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Animals can feel emotions and comfort you.

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Hugs can show empathy as it gives a warmth sensation towards humans in order to not feel alone.

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connection can be as simple as a charger to a phone.

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Social media plays a big role in society showing connection.

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Food, can show connection as we are in constant need of food. Cravings can be connected with other peoples cravings.

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Video games can be a great form of connection.

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Pieces of art as well as any type of art can have great connections with people.

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Family is a great example of connection as family doesn't always have to be people your related with, it can also be people you love and care for.

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Teachers educate and tell stories.

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Cartoons as well as any type of animations tell stories.

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Ted talks, tells many stories.

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Friendships show a very strong connection with each other.

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Therapy session tells the story of how music connects others. Showing connection.

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Music is also storytelling.

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Poetry is a different form of storytelling.

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Legends such as La llorona are an example of storytelling.

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Public speaking is a great example of storytelling, from convincing people of something to simply sharing a story of any sort.

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Storytelling can change many things, one of the biggest roles its ability to change history.

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There are more than just 1 way of storytelling.

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And some ideas to inspire your writing

If you are like me, you love a good story. And as a writer, hearing from fellow storytellers is inspiring.

Books are wonderful. I am an avid reader and hoarder of novels. I lug my books around with me in a growing number of boxes each time I move (no Kindle or Nook for me, thanks), and I have a long - and also growing - list of books on my to-read list.

But I do enjoy other forms of storytelling.

One of the most fascinating parts of the internet for me is how many different ways stories are being told and shared - through photographs, short posts, letters, interviews, audio recordings, presentations, and other mediums. Stories are everywhere, and many storytellers are doing important work.

As a teacher, I used these varied forms of storytelling to engage my students. As a writer, I look to these forms of storytelling for inspiration.

In the spirit of storytelling, writing, and opening ourselves to different lived experiences, here are some of my favorite storytelling sources and some ideas to inspire a new story.

Ashley Gilbertson - Stories Told Through Photographs

I discovered Ashley Gilbertson's photography when I stumbled on The NY Times Magazine feature piece " The Shrine Down the Hall " in 2010. The multimedia piece displays Gilbertson's photographs, along with an article, essay, and interactive page.

When I found Gilbertson's photography, I had just started teaching. I wanted to show my students how powerful images can be - how a single photograph can tell a full story. Gilbertson tells a story through each of his photographs, and he tells each story beautifully.

To honor fallen soldiers who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, he visited the homes of the soldiers to talk with their family members and photograph their bedrooms. Through the pictures, posters, awards, mementos, and decor in the room, each photograph gives us a glimpse of who the soldier was. The photographs pay tribute to their lives.

When I showed Gilbertson's work to my students, I asked each of them to select one of his photographs and write what they learned about the soldier just by looking at the picture of the bedroom. These photographs revealed a great deal about the people who had lived in these rooms before serving in combat, and my students had plenty to write.

Since 2010, Gilbertson wrote and published a book about these photographs called Bedrooms of the Fallen. He also developed several projects, including Uncertain Journeys - photographs of refugees arriving in Lesvos, Greece - and 100% Wall Street  - photographs of the financial crash in 2008 and the Occupy Wall Street movement in 2011.

Gilbertson's photographs tell a range of stories and reveal the wide variation of human experiences.
Start Writing

- Find a photograph (any photograph) and write a story about what you see.

Dear Photograph - Stories Told Through Photographs and Letters

Where we are from and where we have lived since childhood - the settings of our lives - are central to our life stories. The places we occupy influence the people we meet, the experiences we have, and the memories that we make.

The website Dear Photograph demonstrates the importance of setting and features photographs posted with corresponding letters. The top of the homepage encourages visitors to "[t]ake a picture of a picture from the past in the present." (If that sounds confusing, just visit the site - you'll see. But make sure you have extra time on your hands to browse. You've been warned.)

The letters are written to the photographs themselves. Each writer reflects on the photograph within a photograph and the significance of that moment. While some of the writers reflect on photos of events etched in our national memory- for example, this photograph taken on 9/11 - others reflect on photos of moments in their daily lives - like this photograph taken on the day the woman in the photo moved from Georgia to St. Louis.

The combination of past and present existing together in one image creates an opportunity for insightful reflection. Then and now - how are the two related? It's a question worth considering.
Start Writing- Submit to Dear Photograph. Take a picture of a picture from the past in the present, and write a letter to your photograph.

StoryCorps - Stories Told Through Recorded Conversations

Sit two people down to have a conversation, and you just might get a great story. StoryCorps is an oral history project that began in 2003 in Grand Central Terminal in New York City. They had one story booth they used to conduct interviews and encourage meaningful conversations between people. Those conversations were recorded and are now preserved at the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress in Washingston, D.C.

Today, there are StoryCorps sites in Atlanta, Chicago, and San Francisco, along with a mobile tour. They also have a StoryCorps app that guides you through the interview process and allows you to record and upload your conversation. The organization's mission is "to preserve and share humanity's stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world."

Through their website and archives, StoryCorps successfully shares "humanity's stories." In addition to their regular interviews and recorded conversations, the organization developed several projects to highlight specific experiences. These projects include The Justice Project, which features stories of people who have been affected by mass incarceration, and StoryCorps Legacy, which features stories of people with serious illnesses and their family members.
Start Writing If you are feeling really motivated, submit a request to bring the StoryCorps Mobile Tour to your city. Then write about your experience. -Download the StoryCorps app and find somebody who you would love to have a conversation with. Upload your conversation and write about the interview experience or turn your conversation into a story.

Project VOICE - Stories Told Through Poetry and Performance

If you have ever taught poetry, you know that getting students to appreciate poems can sometimes be a challenge. Enter Sarah Kay, an accomplished poet, performer, and educator, as well as the founder and co-director of Project VOICE. When I watched Kay's TEDx talk "How Many Lives Can You Live?" I knew I had found my angle in presenting poetry to my students - poems as captured moments of our human experience.

In this talk, Kay performs one of her poems, which tells the story of her father - who is a photographer - and his experience of documenting moments in the world with his camera. At the end of the poem, Kay compares her experience as a poet to her father's experience as a photographer and says, "We have both learned the art of capture."

Father and daughter are capturing aspects of the human experience - one through a camera lens and one through the written word. I encouraged my students to use this analogy to help them "get" poetry - and it worked.

From Kay's TEDx talk, I was led to Project VOICE. This organization has six poets on its team - including Kay - who perform their poetry and conduct educational workshops for students and educators around the world. Their workshops give participants the skills they need to perform poetry. The goal of each workshop is to "encourage people to engage with the world around them and use spoken word poetry as an instrument through which they can explore and better understand their community, their society, and ultimately themselves."

Project VOICE's use of poetry and performance to tell and share stories is powerful and an effort worthy of note.
Start Writing - Watch the Project VOICE poets perform their poetry. Then write a poem that captures an aspect of the human experience.

This American Life - Stories Told Through Radio

This American Life is a weekly radio broadcast. Each episode has a theme and tells different stories related to that theme. The first episode of This American Life I ever listened to was Episode 360: "Switched at Birth." This episode tells the stories of Sue and Marti, two women who were switched at birth, and their mothers, Kay and Mary. I was teaching at the time and looking for a new resource to teach listening skills to my students. What I found were some incredible stories.

On the "About Us" page of This American Life's website, the description does not communicate what the radio show is, but instead communicates what it isn't:

"We're not a news show or a talk show or a call-in show. We're not really formatted like other radio shows at all. Instead, we do these stories that are like movies for radio. There are people in dramatic situations. Things happen to them. There are funny moments and emotional moments and - hopefully - moments where the people in the story say interesting, surprising things about it all. It has to be surprising. It has to be fun."

The radio show covers a broad range of topics. The episode that aired this week - " Grand Gesture" - tells the stories of people who have gone to extreme measures to demonstrate their feelings. The episode that aired last week - " When the Beasts Come Marching In " - tells the stories of what happens when the animal world and the human world mix.

Living in a world inundated with images and screens, having the chance to sit and just listen to a story is refreshing and freeing.

Start Writing - Pick an episode of This American Life and write a story related to that episode's theme.

I am always on the lookout for new forms of storytelling and sources of inspiration. What are your favorites? Please share! Include them in the comments below.

The Writing Cooperative is a community of people helping each other write better.

Become a member to join our Slack team, get fresh eyes on your writing, and participate in the 52-Week Writing Challenge!

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Five Forms of Storytelling - The Writing Cooperative

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If you are like me, you love a good story. And as a writer, hearing from fellow storytellers is inspiring. Books are wonderful. I am an avid reader and hoarder of novels.

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Memes connect people, currently in younger generations many people can relate through images with captions.

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The color red can be an example connection as love comes to mind in the definition of the word Connection.

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Empathy is important in humanity in order to understand and share emotion

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Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's position and feeling what they are feeling.

Empathy means that when you see another person suffering, such as after they've lost a loved one, you are able to instantly envision yourself going through that same experience and feel what they are going through.

While people can be well-attuned to their own feelings and emotions, getting into someone else's head can be a bit more difficult. The ability to feel empathy allows people to "walk a mile in another's shoes," so to speak. It permits people to understand the emotions that others are feeling.

Press Play for Advice on Empathy

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Signs of Empathy

For many, seeing another person in pain and responding with indifference or even outright hostility seems utterly incomprehensible. But the fact that some people do respond in such a way clearly demonstrates that empathy is not necessarily a universal response to the suffering of others.

If you are wondering whether you are an empathetic person, here are some signs that show that you have this tendency:

You are good at really listening to what others have to say.

People often tell you about their problems.

You are good at picking up on how other people are feeling.

You often think about how other people feel.

Other people come to you for advice.

You often feel overwhelmed by tragic events.

You try to help others who are suffering.

You are good at telling when people aren't being honest.

You sometimes feel drained or overwhelmed in social situations.

You care deeply about other people.

You find it difficult to set boundaries in your relationships.

Types of Empathy

There are several types of empathy that a person may experience. The three types of empathy are:

Affective empathy involves the ability to understand another person's emotions and respond appropriately. Such emotional understanding may lead to someone feeling concerned for another person's well-being, or it may lead to feelings of personal distress.

Somatic empathy involves having a physical reaction in response to what someone else is experiencing. People sometimes physically experience what another person is feeling. When you see someone else feeling embarrassed, for example, you might start to blush or have an upset stomach.

Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person's mental state and what they might be thinking in response to the situation. This is related to what psychologists refer to as the theory of mind or thinking about what other people are thinking.

Empathy vs. Sympathy vs. Compassion

Uses for Empathy

Being able to experience empathy has many beneficial uses.

Empathy allows you to build social connections with others. By understanding what people are thinking and feeling, you are able to respond appropriately in social situations. Research has shown that having social connections is important for both physical and psychological well-being.

Empathizing with others helps you learn to regulate your own emotions. Emotional regulation is important in that it allows you to manage what you are feeling, even in times of great stress, without becoming overwhelmed.

Empathy promotes helping behaviors. Not only are you more likely to engage in helpful behaviors when you feel empathy for other people, but other people are also more likely to help you when they experience empathy.

Potential Pitfalls of Empathy

Having a great deal of empathy makes you concerned for the well-being and happiness of others. It also means, however, that you can sometimes get overwhelmed, burned out, or even overstimulated from always thinking about other people's emotions. This can lead to empathy fatigue.

Empathy fatigue refers to the exhaustion you might feel both emotionally and physically after repeatedly being exposed to stressful or traumatic events. You might also feel numb or powerless, isolate yourself, and have a lack of energy.

Empathy fatigue is a concern in certain situations, such as when acting as a caregiver. Studies also show that if healthcare workers can't balance their feelings of empathy (affective empathy, in particular), it can result in compassion fatigue as well.

Other research has linked higher levels of empathy with a tendency toward emotional negativity, potentially increasing your risk of empathic distress. It can even affect your judgment, causing you to go against your morals based on the empathy you feel for someone else.

Impact of Empathy

Your ability to experience empathy can impact your relationships. Studies involving siblings have found that when empathy is high, siblings have less conflict and more warmth toward each other. In romantic relationships, having empathy increases your ability to extend forgiveness.

Not everyone experiences empathy in every situation. Some people may be more naturally empathetic in general, but people also tend to feel more empathetic toward some people and less so toward others. Some of the factors that play a role in this tendency include:

How you perceive the other person

How you attribute the other individual's behaviors

What you blame for the other person's predicament

Your past experiences and expectations

At the most basic level, there appear to be two main factors that contribute to the ability to experience empathy: genetics and socialization. Essentially, it boils down to the age-old relative contributions of nature and nurture.

Parents pass down genes that contribute to overall personality, including the propensity toward sympathy, empathy, and compassion. On the other hand, people are also socialized by their parents, peers, communities, and society. How people treat others, as well as how they feel about others, is often a reflection of the beliefs and values that were instilled at a very young age.

Barriers to Empathy

Some people lack empathy and, therefore, aren't able to understand what another person may be experiencing or feeling. This can result in behaviors that seem uncaring or sometimes even hurtful. For instance, people with low affective empathy have higher rates of cyberbullying.

A lack of empathy is also one of the defining characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. Though, it is unclear whether this is due to a person with this disorder having no empathy at all or having more of a dysfunctional response to others.

A few reasons why people sometimes lack empathy include cognitive biases, dehumanization, and victim-blaming.

Cognitive Biases

Sometimes the way people perceive the world around them is influenced by cognitive biases. For example, people often attribute other people's failures to internal characteristics, while blaming their own shortcomings on external factors.

These biases can make it difficult to see all the factors that contribute to a situation. They also make it less likely that people will be able to see a situation from the perspective of another.

Dehumanization

Many also fall victim to the trap of thinking that people who are different from them don't feel and behave the same as they do. This is particularly common in cases when other people are physically distant.

For example, when they watch reports of a disaster or conflict in a foreign land, people might be less likely to feel empathy if they think that those who are suffering are fundamentally different from themselves.

Victim Blaming

Sometimes, when another person has suffered a terrible experience, people make the mistake of blaming the victim for their circumstances. This is the reason that victims of crimes are often asked what they might have done differently to prevent the crime.

This tendency stems from the need to believe that the world is a fair and just place. It is the desire to believe that people get what they deserve and deserve what they get-and it can fool you into thinking that such terrible things could never happen to you.

Causes of Empathy

Human beings are certainly capable of selfish, even cruel, behavior. A quick scan of the news quickly reveals numerous unkind, selfish, and heinous actions. The question, then, is why don't we all engage in such self-serving behavior all the time? What is it that causes us to feel another's pain and respond with kindness?

The term empathy was first introduced in 1909 by psychologist Edward B. Titchener as a translation of the German term einfühlung (meaning "feeling into"). Several different theories have been proposed to explain empathy.

Neuroscientific Explanations

Studies have shown that specific areas of the brain play a role in how empathy is experienced. More recent approaches focus on the cognitive and neurological processes that lie behind empathy. Researchers have found that different regions of the brain play an important role in empathy, including the anterior cingulate cortex and the anterior insula.

Functional MRI research also indicates that an area of the brain known as the inferior frontal gyrus (IFG) plays a critical role in the experience of empathy. Studies have found that people who have damage to this area of the brain often have difficulty recognizing emotions conveyed through facial expressions.

Emotional Explanations

Some of the earliest explorations into the topic of empathy centered on how feeling what others feel allows people to have a variety of emotional experiences. The philosopher Adam Smith suggested that it allows us to experience things that we might never otherwise be able to fully feel.

This can involve feeling empathy for both real people and imaginary characters. Experiencing empathy for fictional characters, for example, allows people to have a range of emotional experiences that might otherwise be impossible.

Prosocial Explanations

Sociologist Herbert Spencer proposed that empathy served an adaptive function and aided in the survival of the species. Empathy leads to helping behavior, which benefits social relationships. Humans are naturally social creatures. Things that aid in our relationships with other people benefit us as well.

When people experience empathy, they are more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors that benefit other people. Things such as altruism and heroism are also connected to feeling empathy for others.

Tips for Practicing Empathy

Fortunately, empathy is a skill that you can learn and strengthen. If you would like to build your empathy skills, there are a few things that you can do:

Work on listening to people without interrupting

Pay attention to body language and other types of nonverbal communication

Try to understand people, even when you don't agree with them

Ask people questions to learn more about them and their lives

Imagine yourself in another person's shoes

Strengthen your connection with others to learn more about how they feel

Seek to identify biases you may have and how they affect your empathy for others

Look for ways in which you are similar to others versus focusing on differences

Be willing to be vulnerable, opening up about how you feel

Engage in new experiences, giving you better insight into how others in that situation may feel

Get involved in organizations that push for social change

A Word From Verywell

While empathy might be lacking in some, most people are able to empathize with others in a variety of situations. This ability to see things from another person's perspective and empathize with another's emotions plays an important role in our social lives. Empathy allows us to understand others and, quite often, compels us to take action to relieve another person's suffering.

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Empathy allows us to understand and share the feelings of others. Learn why we feel empathy in some situations and not others, different types of empathy, and more.