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For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be beautiful.

But beauty is just an illusion.

External beauty is something that has been dictated to us by society. It is not something that is truly real. The standards by which we judge somebody as "beautiful" is all made up.

[ctt template="3″ link="966hz" via="no" ]External beauty is something that has been dictated to us by society. It is not something that is truly real. The standards by which we judge somebody as "beautiful" is all made up.[/ctt]
Beauty is a social construct, and it typically goes like this:

Have a perfectly symmetrical face

Be thin - but not too thin!

Have big boobs and an ample backside

Have perfectly smooth skin and long, luscious hair

Never age past 25 years old

And typically, blonde hair, blue-eyed white women are seen as the most desirable

Self-Hatred is a Multi-Billion Dollar Industry

Growing up, I always felt this sense of self-hatred, because I didn't look like the girls in the magazines and on TV. I felt fat (I have never been overweight). I felt homely (that is far from the case). I felt like a failure.

I am conventionally attractive, but I didn't see myself that way, because the beauty standards that we're being taught from a very young age are unattainable.
Starting from a very young age, little girls grow up with a sense of self-loathing and internalize the belief that they need other people's validation to feel whole.
BEAUTY AT ALL COSTS

Here's another thing we learn we learn as little girls: Beauty (as it is traditionally defined by society) is the #1 goal.

Women are applauded for being beautiful. It's very rare that you will see a woman get cultural praise for the size of her brain.

Young girls are taught to be seen and not heard and that beauty is the ultimate achievement that they can strive for.

So we poison ourselves with toxic chemicals, make up our faces, starve our bodies, dumb down our minds, poke and prod ourselves with needles...for what? So you can think we're "beautiful."

And if you are transgender, disabled, fat, over the age of 35, or non-European, then you're just. not. good. enough. in their eyes.
Well, I'm here to say: that's fucking bullshit.
I'm here to say that we don't need to listen to them. We don't need to let them tell us what is beautiful and what isn't beautiful.

We can define our own beauty standards

When I was preteen, I started wearing makeup and straightening my so-called "nappy hair" so I could look more beautiful.

All I really wanted in my life was to be beautiful. Because I knew that beauty was my ticket to get love and acceptance from other people, and I just so desperately wanted that.

So I caked my face in makeup not knowing what was in it - not knowing that I was putting poisons onto my skin and, therefore, into my body. I was literally putting toxins into my body so that I could fit into a patriarchal social construct that was doing nothing but harming me. It was double poison, in a sense.

That's what women are doing every single day without being consciously aware of it. And I'm here to call it out for what it is.

We deserve better.

We don't need to poison ourselves anymore to fit into this idea that causes us to hate ourselves, because it's unrealistic anyway.

I want us to embrace real beauty, the beauty that comes from living in the fullest expression of yourself, the effervescence that comes from a person when he, she, or they are truly free to be who they are, to say what they think, and to be themselves without fear. The beauty that comes from "imperfection."

I think that when we all look the same, when we all have these sanitized bodies, and "perfect proportions," that's boring.

Beauty is in imperfection.

Beauty is in our differences.

Beauty is in that extra roll on the stomach.

Beauty is in your unruly eyebrows.

Beauty is in the laugh lines that you have earned over many years of joy.

You have a right to feel beautiful 24/7/365.
When you stop looking through the lens of what everyone else feels is beautiful, your life will change.
There is no more radical expression of self-care than to look in the mirror as you are and say, "I am beautiful, I don't need your poison, and I love who I am."
What is beauty to you? Let us know in the comments.
love, molly

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We Can Define Our Own Beauty Standards | From Molly With Love

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External beauty is something that has been dictated to us by society. It is not something that is truly real. The standards by which we judge somebody as "beautiful" is all made up. [ctt template="3″ link="966hz" via="no" ]External beauty is something that has been dictated to us by society.

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Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight "in days," appear slimmer "instantly," and hide our "imperfections" all without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance.

This is one example of body-shaming, and it is everywhere. Sitcoms frequently use overweight characters' bodies as the basis for jokes. It has become the norm to criticize aspects of our bodies as some type of bonding experience with friends - if we all hate our bodies then it somehow makes us feel connected. Body-shaming (criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of physical appearance) can lead to a vicious cycle of judgment and criticism. Messages from the media and from each other often imply that we should want to change, that we should care about looking slimmer, smaller, and tanner. And if we don't, we worry that we are at risk of being the target of someone else's body-shaming comments.

Body-shaming manifests in many ways

1) Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e. "I'm so ugly compared to her." "Look at how broad my shoulders are.")

2) Criticizing another's appearance in front of them. (i.e. "With those thighs, you're never going to find a date.")

3) Criticizing another's appearance without their knowledge. (i.e. "Did you see what she's wearing today? Not flattering." "At least you don't look like her!").

No matter how this manifests, body shaming often leads to comparison and shame, and perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features.

This leads to the question: if it has such harsh consequences, why is body-shaming so common? An example we often discuss is dealing with conflicts with peers. Why, when we are upset, annoyed, or intimidated by someone, do we default to criticizing their appearance? "Whatever, she's ugly," can be a go-to defense in these situations, particularly during adolescence and the young-adult years. In some ways, it feels easier to shoot for something that will hurt, like targeting physical appearance, rather than expressing what is really going on emotionally. Saying, "I'm really hurt by how my friend treated me," or "I'm terrified of losing this friendship" opens us up and makes us more vulnerable, and therefore feels easier to bury underneath the body-shaming comments that rush to mind.

How do we challenge body shaming?

In situations like those listed above, expressing true feelings rather than physical criticisms can be a great first step. While recently discussing this with the adolescent IOP, several patients admitted that it is hard to identify ways of expressing frustration without using body-shaming, as this has become an almost automatic response.

Practice identifying why you are upset about a situation. For example, it's unlikely that you're mad at a friend because she's breaking out, and more likely that you're upset about a miscommunication or feeling of rejection. Practice thinking it, and eventually, verbalizing it.

Identify who in your life is body-positive - or even body-neutral. Think of people who celebrate their body for what it can do, and people who refuse to comment on others' physical appearances. Spending time with these people can be especially helpful while you are struggling with your own internalized body-shaming and help you view yourself - and others - more positively.

Confront those who perpetuate body-shaming. Once you've become more aware of your own body-shaming behaviors, you may notice how often your friends, family or co-workers do it. Talk to them. Discuss why it bothers you and help them see how it may also be hurtful to them.

Find something (or things!) you LIKE about your body. We spend so much time witnessing advertisements about how to make our eyelashes millimeters longer and how to get whiter teeth that it'd be nice to counter some of that by celebrating what we do have. Maybe, despite your body image struggles, you love a new hairstyle you discovered. Maybe you've noticed how much stronger you feel with balanced eating. Find something physical or nonphysical that makes you YOU and celebrate it every day.

Erika Vargas, MA, is the Adolescent IOP Clinician at the Walden's Braintree clinic. She is trained in the Maudsley Method/Family Based-Treatment (FBT); and works with adolescents to decrease eating disorder behaviors with the support of their families.

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Body Shaming: What Is It & Why Do We Do It? | Walden

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Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight "in days," appear slimmer "instantly," and hide our "imperfections" all without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance. This is one example of body-shaming, and it is everywhere.

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Mental health is an essential part of people's lives and society. Poor mental health affects our well-being, our ability to work, and our relationships with friends, family, and community.

Mental health conditions are not uncommon. Hundreds of millions suffer from them yearly, and many more do over their lifetimes. It's estimated that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men will experience major depression in their lives. Other conditions, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, are less common but still have a large impact on people's lives.

Mental illnesses are treatable, and the impact they have can be reduced. Despite this, treatment is often lacking or poor quality, and many feel uncomfortable sharing their symptoms with healthcare professionals or people they know. This also makes it difficult to estimate the actual prevalence of mental illnesses.

To support them, it's essential to have good data to understand these conditions - how, when, and why they occur, how many people are affected by them, and how they can be treated effectively and safely.

On this page, we show data on the prevalence of mental illnesses and their burden, and people's attitudes toward mental health.

Research & Writing

Depression

Interactive charts on Mental Health

Cite this work

Our articles and data visualizations rely on work from many different people and organizations. When citing this topic page, please also cite the underlying data sources. This topic page can be cited as:

Saloni Dattani, Lucas Rodés-Guirao, Hannah Ritchie and Max Roser (2023) - "Mental Health". Published online at OurWorldInData.org. Retrieved from: 'https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health' [Online Resource]

BibTeX citation

@article{owidmentalhealth, author = {Saloni Dattani and Lucas Rodés-Guirao and Hannah Ritchie and Max Roser}, title = {Mental Health}, journal = {Our World in Data}, year = {2023}, note = {https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health} }

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The data produced by third parties and made available by Our World in Data is subject to the license terms from the original third-party authors. We will always indicate the original source of the data in our documentation, so you should always check the license of any such third-party data before use and redistribution.

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Mental health has a significant impact on people's lives and wellbeing. To support people with mental illnesses, we need better data to understand them.

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Overview

Anorexia (an-o-REK-see-uh) nervosa, often simply called anorexia, is a treatable eating disorder in which people have a low body weight based on personal weight history. Although many people with anorexia look very thin, some may not look thin and others may look overweight. But they've actually lost weight or failed to gain needed weight.

People who have anorexia often have a strong fear of gaining weight and may think they're overweight, even when they're thin. To prevent weight gain or continue to lose weight, people with anorexia often limit the amount or type of food they eat. They place a high value on controlling their weight and shape and use extreme efforts that can greatly harm their lives.

Anorexia can cause changes in the brain due to very poor nutrition, also called malnutrition. This is when people don't get the nutrients that their bodies need to stay healthy. So it's not a choice to continue the risky and damaging behavior.

If left untreated, weight loss can get to a point where people with anorexia are at high risk of serious physical harm or death. Anorexia has the second-highest death rate of any mental illness, surpassed only by opioid overdoses. Most deaths related to anorexia stem from heart conditions and suicide.

Anorexia, like other eating disorders, can take over people's lives and be very hard to overcome. Because it's related to changes in the brain, anorexia behaviors are not choices, and the illness is not really about food or looking a certain way. With proven treatment, people with anorexia can return to a healthy weight, develop more-balanced eating habits, and reverse some of anorexia's serious medical and mental health complications.

Symptoms

The physical and behavioral symptoms of anorexia nervosa relate to how starvation affects the brain. It may be hard to notice symptoms because what is seen as a low body weight differs for each person. Some people with anorexia may not look very thin. Also, people often hide their thinness, eating habits or physical problems.

Physical symptoms

Physical symptoms of anorexia nervosa may include irregular heart rhythms, low blood pressure and dehydration. Dehydration happens when your body doesn't have enough water and other fluids to carry out normal functions. Your fingers may look blue and you may have dry skin. You may notice a change in your skin color, such as yellowing of the skin. You may have hair that thins, breaks or falls out. You also may have soft, downy hair covering your body.

Other physical symptoms include:

Extreme weight loss or not making expected weight gains based on age.

Being very tired and weak.

Dizziness or fainting.

Having a hard time passing stool and having stomach pain.

Not able to stand the cold, or feeling cold when others feel fine.

Swelling of the arms or legs.

Wearing away of the teeth and calluses on your knuckles from causing yourself to vomit.

Stomachaches.

Never feeling hungry or feeling hungry and getting full right away after eating a very small portion.

Having a hard time concentrating or focusing.

Low mood.

Increased anxiety.

Stress fractures or reduced bone mass.

If you're female and not taking a contraceptive, you may not have menstrual periods.

Emotional and behavioral symptoms

You may have an extreme focus on food. Sometimes this includes cooking meals for others but not eating those meals. You may skip meals or refuse to eat. You also may severely limit the amount of food you eat through dieting or fasting, not admit to being hungry, or make excuses for not eating.

When you eat, you may eat only a few certain "safe" foods - often foods low in fat and calories. You also may focus too much on eating "clean" or healthy and stop eating specific types of food in a way that has not been recommended by a healthcare professional. You may take on rigid meal or eating habits, such as spitting out food after chewing. You may not want to eat in public. You also may lie about how much food you've eaten.

You may have a type of anorexia where you binge and purge like with bulimia. Binges are when you feel like you can't control what or how much you eat. Binges can sometimes be large amounts of food. But overall, if you have the binge-purge type of anorexia, you eat much less than you need. Purges are when you make yourself vomit, or you misuse enemas, laxatives, diuretics, diet aids or herbal products to get rid of food that you ate. You lose too much weight and have very low body weight, compared with your personal weight history.

Other emotional and behavioral symptoms of anorexia may include:

Too much exercise. This includes exercising when you're injured, instead of doing something you value or enjoy, or exercising to such a degree of intensity that it's notably different from the people around you.

Fear of weight gain. Being scared to gain weight may include the need to weigh or measure your body over and over again.

Focus on appearance. This includes checking in the mirror often for what you think are flaws and wearing layers of clothing to cover up.

Concern about being overweight. This includes concerns about being fat or having parts of the body that are fat.

Emotional changes. You may lack emotion or feel emotionally flat. You may not want to be social. You also could be angry or irritable. You may have little interest in sex.

Trouble sleeping. This also is known as insomnia.

You also may hurt yourself. Or you may think or talk about suicide or attempt suicide.

When to see a doctor

Because of how malnutrition affects the brain, someone with anorexia may not want to be treated. A core feature of anorexia is that people with the eating disorder usually don't see how serious their symptoms are. This is because of the way anorexia affects the brain.

If someone in your life has anorexia, it's better to take action - even if you think it could be an overreaction - rather than let symptoms continue. Early treatment of eating disorders leads to the best outcomes.

If you're worried about a loved one, urge your loved one to talk to a healthcare professional. If you're a parent or caregiver who is concerned about your child's eating habits, weight or body image, share your concerns with your child's healthcare professional.

If you think you have an eating disorder, get help. If you're thinking about suicide, contact a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat. Services are free and confidential. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. has a Spanish language phone line at 1-888-628-9454 (toll-free).

Causes

The causes of anorexia nervosa aren't known. As with many diseases, it's probably a mix of factors:

Genetics. Although it isn't yet clear which genes are involved, genetic changes may make you more likely to develop anorexia. That involves having genetic traits that include feeling the need to be perfect or being very sensitive.

Mental health. People with eating disorders sometimes have obsessive-compulsive personality traits that make it easier to stick to strict diets and not eat, even though they're hungry. They also may try to be perfect in everything they do.

Environmental. Modern Western culture puts a lot of focus on being thin. Social media plays a big role. Peer pressure may cause you to want to be thin, lean or muscular. A constant push to eat a healthy diet could lead to very strict eating habits. These habits could turn into eating disorders.

Risk factors

Anorexia nervosa affects all gender identities, races, ages, incomes and body types.

Anorexia also is more common among teenagers, although people of any age can develop this eating disorder. Teens may be more at risk because of all the changes their bodies go through during puberty. They also may face more peer pressure and be more sensitive to criticism or even casual comments about weight or body shape.

Certain factors raise the risk of anorexia and other eating disorders, including:

Family history. If you have a first-degree relative - a parent, sibling or child - who had anorexia, you have a higher risk of developing it.

A history of weight bullying. People who have been teased or bullied about their weight are more likely to develop eating disorders. This includes people with peers, family members, coaches and others who have shamed them for their weight.

A history of dieting. Dieting behaviors raise the risk of an eating disorder. People who are always dieting and whose weight is always going up and down as they get on and off new diets could develop an eating disorder.

Transitions. Major changes can bring emotional stress and raise the risk of anorexia. Such changes include a new school, home or job, as well as a relationship breakup or the death or illness of a loved one.

Complications

Anorexia nervosa can have many complications. At its most severe, it can be fatal. Death may happen suddenly - even if you aren't visibly underweight. Irregular heart rhythms, also known as arrhythmias, can lead to death. Also, an imbalance of electrolytes - minerals such as sodium, potassium and calcium that maintain the balance of fluids in the body - also can lead to death.

Other complications of anorexia include:

Anemia.

Other heart conditions, such as mitral valve prolapse or heart failure. Mitral valve prolapse happens when the valve between the heart's upper and lower left chambers doesn't close properly.

Bone loss, also known as osteoporosis, which can raise the risk of fractures.

Loss of muscle.

Stomach problems, such as constipation, bloating or nausea.

Kidney problems.

In females, anorexia can lead to having no period. In males, it can decrease testosterone.

If you become severely malnourished, every organ system in your body can be damaged. This damage may not be fully reversible, even when the anorexia is under control.

In addition to physical complications, you also may have other mental health symptoms and conditions, including:

Depression and other mood disorders.

Anxiety.

Personality disorders.

Obsessive-compulsive disorders.

Alcohol and substance misuse.

Self-injury, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide.

Prevention

There's no guaranteed way to prevent anorexia nervosa. Primary healthcare professionals, including pediatricians, family medicine professionals and internal medicine professionals, may be in a good position to see early signs that could lead to anorexia. For instance, they can ask questions about eating habits and satisfaction with appearance during routine medical appointments. This could open a discussion about how this relates to health and where to get help if needed.

If you notice that people have dieting habits that seem too rigid, or they're unhappy with their appearance, think about talking to them about these issues. Although you may not be able to prevent an eating disorder from starting, you can talk about your concerns and offer to assist them in finding help if needed.

Examples of organizations that offer support for caregivers, friends and family members of people with eating disorders include the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment for Eating Disorders (F.E.A.S.T.).

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People with this eating disorder have a very low body weight, an intense fear of gaining weight and a flawed way of seeing their body.

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We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves.
But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

What causes low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.

For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.

Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations.

Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem.

Personality can also play a part. Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.

How does low self-esteem affect us?

If you have low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.

In the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations might make you feel safe.

In the longer term, this can backfire because it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.

Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.

You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much, as a way of coping.

How to have healthy self-esteem

To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you.

Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.

Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".

Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".

Also write some good things that other people say about you.

Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly. Then put your list somewhere you can see it. That way, you can keep reminding yourself that you're OK.

You might have low confidence now because of what happened when you were growing up, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age.

Other ways to improve low self-esteem

Here are some other simple techniques that may help you feel better about yourself.

Recognise what you're good at

We're all good at something, whether it's cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we're good at, which can help boost your mood.

Build positive relationships

If you find certain people tend to bring you down, try to spend less time with them, or tell them how you feel about their words or actions.

Try to build relationships with people who are positive and who appreciate you.

Be kind to yourself

Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.

Think what you'd say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give far better advice to others than we do to ourselves.

Learn to be assertive

Being assertive is about respecting other people's opinions and needs, and expecting the same from them.

One trick is to look at other people who act assertively and copy what they do.

It's not about pretending you're someone you're not. It's picking up hints and tips from people you admire and letting the real you come out.

Start saying "no"

People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to.

The risk is that you become overburdened, resentful, angry and depressed.

For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships. It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message.

Give yourself a challenge

We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges.

Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion. Achieving your goals will help to increase your self-esteem.

Where to find help for low self-esteem

Psychological therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help.

You can refer yourself for psychological therapies on the NHS.

If you prefer, you can talk to a GP first and they can refer you.

You could also find a private therapist. Make sure they're registered with a professional body.

Visit healthtalk.org to hear young people talking about their experiences of low self-esteem.

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We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves. But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can have a harmful effect on our mental health and our day-to-day lives. Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.

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"Live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself." ~Sonya Parker
I have struggled with my different-ness since I was young. I grew up trying to change the things that made me different in order to fit in. At home, my parents were doing their best to raise three young children, which I can imagine would've been very hard.

I can still remember the first time I asked myself, " What is wrong with me?" I loved to take my time and have everything neat and tidy; my family, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.
I wanted to belong and feel loved by them, so I tried my hardest to change the things about me that seemed to cause them stress.
Being neat and tidy reflected in the way I would dress myself. One morning, when I was getting ready for my first day of school, my parents gave me socks to wear that didn't match. I got very upset, and although they tried to understand what the problem was, they couldn't help but be frustrated with me, as I was making the morning more difficult.

We were also running late. I wanted to take my time and not be hurried. This caused us to run even later and made my parents even more stressed. I felt so guilty to have made them feel like this.

Trying to change these things that were a big part of who I was created inner conflict, and I would have big tantrums as a result. This would cause my parents stress as well, so eventually I stopped expressing my feelings.

I became ashamed of the things that made me different. I was shy. I loved lots of time on my own. I had dark skin.
This went on for the next twenty years. Since I spent my whole life trying to fit in, I never really got to know my true self. It was incredibly exhausting and I was very unhappy.
I wanted to be accepted to avoid judgment and rejection. During school, other kids teased me for not having many friends. I felt so hurt and alone that I started a constant battle within myself to change my different-ness.

I forced myself to be more social. I searched for ways to change the color of my skin. I stopped giving myself the alone time I wanted. I stopped expressing how I was feeling.

It took having kids to wake me up. The love I had for my two boys gave me the drive to search for another way to live.

I wanted my boys to love and accept themselves for who they were, differences and all, but how was I to teach them if I didn't even know how? I needed to be the example.

I finally discovered some things that empowered me to embrace my differences. I was amazed at the life changing effect it had on me.

When you embrace who you are:

1. You stop living in fear.

The choices I make in life are no longer dependent on what other people will think and whether I will be judged, disliked, or rejected. I just focus on being me.

In the past, I feared what people would think of me for choosing to have a few close friends instead of a huge social circle and spending a lot of time on my own. Now that I accept that this is me, I feel a sense of freedom.

Trying to be someone you're not is exhausting. Being your true self is a courageous thing to do in a world that is constantly trying to change you. When you realize that living the life you want is more important than pleasing other people, suddenly you feel free.

2. You form deeper, more connected relationships.

In the past, I've had my fair share of not-so-good relationships. People would connect to the fake me, so they were never genuine relationships.

I was able to sift through my relationships by loving my differences and being myself. This allowed the right people to come into my life who loved the real me. My relationships are now all fulfilling and genuine.

If you want people to accept you for who you are, you first have to show them who that is.

3. You treat yourself more kindly.

I saw myself as weird so I would constantly put myself down and beat myself up. The negative self-talk was painful.

In accepting my "weirdness," I went from telling myself, "Because of my differences, I'm worthless and no one will ever love me," to "I have to be true to myself. The people who really matter will accept me for who I am."

It was so liberating, I started to feel the happiest I've ever felt.

4. You're better able to find your passion.

When hiding my true self, I could never know my strengths. I'm a compassionate person, which makes me good at helping people. I found that this is what I love to do and it's my passion.

After learning this about myself, I was able to offer my friends and family advice when they needed help. I also branched out and started my own blog, which is my main creative outlet where I can combine my passion for writing and helping people.

Once you allow yourself to be who you are, you're free to find what you're good at and what you love to do.

5. You start appreciating yourself.

When you truly embrace your differences, you begin to find reasons to appreciate them. I've always been ashamed of my introverted nature, thinking it was a weakness. Only recently have I started to embrace it. I now appreciate that it allows me to enjoy time on my own, which is where I'm the most creative.

I've finally discovered my strengths and weaknesses. I own them and I am grateful for them both because they make me who I am.

When you start seeing your "weaknesses" as potential strengths, you develop a whole new sense of appreciation for yourself.

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I hope these lessons can help you learn to embrace your differences without having to become a parent to do it-and if you are already a parent, then I hope this can inspire you so you too can pass on self-acceptance to your children.

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Live Your Life for You: 5 Benefits of Embracing Who You Really Are

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"Live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don't let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself. " ~ Sonya Parker I have struggled with my different-ness since I was young. I grew up trying to change the things that made me different in order to fit in.

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By Rebecca Ray

(Originally Published in November 2018)

I Nearly Said No...

When Neha asked me to write for her blog, I'll admit to having reservations. It took some convincing for me to feel that I could write authentically for a beauty brand while not compromising my values in supporting an industry that has largely promoted a message of "you are not good enough." What did convince me is that I know Neha is leading a different charge: her message is one of empowering women to tap into their inner beauty. The fundamental need for this message has all my support - but I'll get to that shortly.

It's no secret that the beauty industry is not kind to women. I've observed it erode my self-worth and that of the women around me - the ones I love, the ones I've treated as my clients in therapy, the ones I look up to, the ones in the other rooms of the maternity ward where I gave birth a few months back, the ones standing next to me scanning the shelves in the bookstore, the ones walking along the other side of the street on their way to work, and the ones on the other side of the world going about their daily lives.

Measure Up

Indeed, it's difficult to find a woman not affected by the subtle and blatant reminders of how women don't measure up against a scale of 'enoughness'. A scale gauged by the skill in your highlighter application, the correct choice of eyeshadow colour, and superhuman attempts to avoid any signs that you are actually human by covering up any perceived imperfections.

I've struggled with living in a culture that upholds these things as meaningful, let alone essential in the social media-driven quest to be attractive and accepted. Where your make-up bag and your Sephora purchases are celebrated as markers of belonging.

Change Is in the Air

But from the corner of my bathroom that only ever holds a skeleton selection of beauty product staples - once described as "completely inadequate for creating any kind of 'look'" by a beauty-enthusiast friend of mine - I see there's been a change.
Things have shifted. Not just the rumblings or promise of a potential nudge in a different direction, but a definite shift.

The beauty industry is being turned inside out by women who have also had their self-worth battered by filters, surgical enhancements, and good lighting (at the very least) and who are demanding a redefinition of beauty. These women are the warriors who are bringing beauty back to women like me. They are the ones, like Neha, who are real and authentic. They are the ones who are tearing down beauty's previously impossible standards and rebuilding the industry from the inside first.

The new message is only getting louder and clearer by the day: You are beautiful in whatever shape or form you choose for yourself. This is a message I'm healed by, willing to stand behind, and happy to wear on my skin.

Go Your Own Way

I know very little about brushes and bronzers and BB creams, but I do know this: there is no measuring stick (or cream or filler) when it comes to your self-worth. It's your relationship with yourself that is the basis of your happiness, not a cut-out-doll template that society says you should aspire to.

What I'm saying is I encourage you to define beauty for yourself.

Here's how:

1. Set your own beauty standards.
You get to say what makes you feel beautiful. You get to wear what makes you feel good. You get to use beauty as a means of honouring yourself in the way it fits for you.

2. Choose the voices you give your attention to.
Listen to the women who lead the charge for authenticity, body positivity, self-acceptance, holistic beauty, and an end to ridiculous and unattainable standards.

3. Let go of judgement (on yourself and others).
All too often, we buy into the media's rigid expectations about what beauty means and we judge ourselves and others when we don't live up to the (not so invisible) bar. Your beauty is your business. So is hers.

4. Choose a gentle path into self-love.
The inner voice we are most familiar with is usually the voice that's critical and condemning, especially when it comes to body image and appearance. Try going gently on yourself. Try getting in touch with the voice inside you that's kind and soft. After all, if self-criticism actually worked, wouldn't we all be perfect by now?

5. Practice self-acceptance.
Practice accepting yourself for everything that you are rather than attacking yourself for everything that you're not. Perfection is impossible and attempting to attain it is a sure-fire way to feel bad about yourself.

Self-acceptance means embracing yourself exactly as you are, treating yourself as a friend, and doing what fits for you to feel comfortable in your own skin. But the key here is practice! Changing your mindset takes time and effort, but it's worth it.

Step into your own beauty by choosing authenticity first. Who you are is where your beauty is born from. This is how we shift into a space where worth is not dependent on anything other than you being you.

Did you enjoy this article on cultivating Inner Beauty? For similar content, click HERE and don't forget to Sign Up to become a VIP.

Comment and share your thoughts about your own beauty journey with us, or ask Bec a question!

Want more Bec? Rebecca Ray is an Author, Speaker, and Clinical Psychologist. Her message centres on the task of living bravely in the truth of our experiences as finders and seekers of inspiration and connection. Rebecca has been a Clinical Psychologist for 15 years, where she specialised in the treatment of Depression, Anxiety and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

Rebecca's first book, Be Happy: 35 Powerful Habits for Personal Growth and Well-Being, is available now. She can be found online interacting with her community daily about finding courage and living inspired, expansive lives.

Connect with Dr Rebecca Ray:

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The Psychology of Beauty: 5 Ways to Define Beauty on Your Own Terms - Beauty By Neha

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By Rebecca Ray (Originally Published in November 2018) I Nearly Said No... When Neha asked me to write for her blog, I'll admit to having reservations. It took some convincing for me to feel that I could write authentically for a beauty brand while not compromising my values in supporting an industry that has largely...

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Bulimia is an eating disorder that stems from a loss of control over eating habits and a longing to stay thin. Many people associate the condition with throwing up after eating. But there is much more to know about bulimia than this one symptom.
Here are 10 facts about bulimia to change misconceptions you may have about this dangerous eating disorder.
If you have bulimia or another eating disorder, you may be obsessed with your body image and go to severe measures to alter your weight. Anorexia nervosa causes people to restrict their calorie intake. Bulimia causes binge eating and purging.

Bingeing is consuming a large portion of food in a short period of time. People with bulimia tend to binge in secret and then feel immense guilt. These are also symptoms of binge eating disorder. The difference is that bulimia includes purging by behaviors such as forced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics, or fasting. People with bulimia may continue to binge and purge for a while, and then go through periods of not eating.

If you have bulimia, you may also exercise compulsively. Regular exercise is a normal part of a healthy lifestyle. But people with bulimia may take this to the extreme by exercising for several hours a day. This can lead to other health problems, such as:

Bulimia is an eating disorder, but it can also be referred to as a mental disorder. According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD), eating disorders such as bulimia are the most fatal mental conditions in the United States. This fact is attributed to long-term health problems, as well as suicide. Some patients with bulimia also have depression. Bulimia can cause people to feel shame and guilt about their inability to control compulsive behaviors. This can worsen preexisting depression.

There is no proven cause of bulimia. However, many believe there's a direct correlation between the American obsession with thinness and eating disorders. Wanting to adapt to beauty standards can cause people to engage in unhealthy eating habits.

Societal pressures and mental disorders such as depression are just two of the possible causes of bulimia. Some scientists believe that the disorder may be genetic. You may be more prone to developing bulimia if your parent has a related eating disorder. Still, it's not clear whether this is due to genes or environmental factors at home.

While women are the most prone to eating disorders, especially bulimia, the disorder is not gender specific. According to ANAD, up to 15 percent of people being treated for bulimia and anorexia are male. Men are often less likely to exhibit noticeable symptoms or seek appropriate treatments. This can put them at risk for health problems.

Not everyone with bulimia is ultra-thin. Anorexia causes a large calorie deficit, leading to extreme weight loss. People with bulimia can experience episodes of anorexia, but they still tend to consume more calories overall through bingeing and purging. This explains why many people with bulimia still retain normal body weights. This can be deceptive to loved ones, and can even cause a doctor to miss the diagnosis.

This eating disorder causes more than just unhealthy weight loss. Every system in your body is dependent on nutrition and healthy eating habits to function properly. When you disrupt your natural metabolism through binging and purging, your body can be seriously affected.

Bulimia can also cause:

anemia

low blood pressure and irregular heart rate

dry skin

ulcers

decreased electrolyte levels and dehydration

esophageal ruptures from excessive vomiting

gastrointestinal problems

irregular periods

kidney failure

Women with bulimia often experience missed periods. Bulimia can have lasting effects on reproduction even when your menstrual cycle goes back to normal. The danger is even greater for women who get pregnant during episodes of "active" bulimia.

Consequences can include:

miscarriage

stillbirth

gestational diabetes

high blood pressure during pregnancy

breech baby and subsequent cesarean delivery

birth defects

Antidepressants have the potential to improve bulimic symptoms in people who also have depression. According to the Office on Women's Health in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Prozac (fluoxetine) is the only FDA-approved medication for bulimia. It has been found to help prevent binges and purges.

Bulimia is treatable, but symptoms often come back without warning. According to ANAD, only 1 out of 10 people seek treatment for eating disorders. For the best chance at recovery, identify your underlying cues and warning signs. For example, if depression is your trigger, then pursue regular mental health treatments. Seeking treatment can help prevent relapses in bulimia.

The real solution for long-term weight maintenance is a sensible diet and exercise plan. Bulimia ultimately disrupts normal weight maintenance, which sets up the body for greater challenges as the eating disorder progresses. Working to develop a healthy body image and lifestyle is a must. See a doctor right away if you or a loved one needs help treating bulimia.

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Bulimia is an eating disorder that stems from a loss of control over eating habits and a longing to stay thin. Many people associate the condition with throwing up after eating. But there is much more to know about bulimia than this one symptom.