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Strong and clear thesis statement. They used good clear examples and they also had a strong ending. 

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Strong and clear thesis statement. They used good clear examples and they also had a strong ending. 

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This essay is very organized and perfect examples but i wish they could used better grammar and vocabulary

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The essay was organized, but they could've used better transition words.

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The essay was organized, but they could've used better transition words.

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Elias Galicias--He had a good intro same with the thesis he used two clear examples and kinda explain them right 

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Elias Galicias--He had a good intro same with the thesis he used two clear examples and kinda explain them right 

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Explain why this essay (written by an ESOL student/language learner) scored a 3. What did the student do WELL? How could this student have earned a HIGHER score? What techniques can you steal from this student?

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Explain why this essay (written by an ESOL student/language learner) scored a 3. What did the student do WELL? How could this student have earned a HIGHER score? What techniques can you steal from this student?

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Explain how this student used T-E-D-S-S to score a 3. What did the student do CORRECT? How could this student have earned a higher score?

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Explain how this student used T-E-D-S-S to score a 3. What did the student do CORRECT? How could this student have earned a higher score?

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Explain how this student used T-E-D-S-S to score a 3. What did the student do CORRECT? How could this student have earned a higher score?

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Explain how this student used T-E-D-S-S to score a 3. What did the student do CORRECT? How could this student have earned a higher score?

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Explain how this ESL student scored a 4! How did this student use T-E-D-S-S? What did they do well? What techniques can you steal for your writing? 

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Explain how this ESL student scored a 4! How did this student use T-E-D-S-S? What did they do well? What techniques can you steal for your writing? 

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This student have clear thesis statement tell what + why, she also had specific examples and
detail by telling Nathan Scott help and support his brother, Lucas Scoot with his dream becomes a baseketball player. She also rewrite her thesis in the conclusion.

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She had specific examples and
detail by telling Bonnie, who receive support from Enzo, and how that support important to Bonnie. She also rewrite her thesis in the conclusion.

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This person restated their thesis in the introduction and in the conclusion. The example was clear and easy to read.

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Thesis statement is the problem doesn't give an example only give a reason on how support helps

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Thesis statement is the problem doesn't give an example only give a reason on how support helps

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this student wrote a very well written example and explained everything in full detail i think they couldve gotten a higher score if they improved their statement

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Jesús García yes this student had perfect thesis and also very good example as well

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This persons essay was very good because he explained his example very clear he gave his thesis in the intro and conclusion he used very good synonyms for words that mean the exact thing just grade level.

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Each of these essays either scored a 3 (on grade level) or 4 (advanced grade level). Read each essay and tell me why this writer received a high score. Look at the types of reasons below.

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Explain why this essay score an ADVANCED 4! How did this student use TEDSS to achieve this high score? What technique can you steal from this writer? 

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Explain why this essay score an ADVANCED 4! How did this student use TEDSS to achieve this high score? What technique can you steal from this writer? 

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T- The THESIS statement clearly explained WHAT + WHY. Readers know EXACTLY what the writer thinks and the reason.
E- The EXAMPLE is CLEAR and SPECIFIC.
D- The DETAILS clearly SHOW readers who, what, when, where, why, and how.
S- The "SO WHAT" or commentary that EXPLAINS how this example PROVES the thesis. It explains why this example matters.
S- The STRUCTURE for the essay is correct. The writer made smart choices such as:
-using appropriate transitions to connect sentences WITHIN THE PARAGRAPH and from linking one paragraph to another.
-each paragraph has a clear topic sentence  that moves from the paragraph before to the present paragraph
-the main idea is THREADED throughout the novel using appropriate synonyms. (For example, success= accomplishments, overcoming setbacks, rising above obstacles, achieving goals, etc. The writer doesn't repeat success over and over again.
-the thesis is restated to provide the overall essay with a clear opening and closing

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Explain why this essay scored a 3. What did the student do RIGHT? How could this student have earned a BETTER score?

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Explain why this essay scored a 3. What did the student do RIGHT? How could this student have earned a BETTER score?

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This student had specific examples and detail by using a common example and a example of common life. The student also rewrite the thesis in the conclusion. This student could get a higher score by using more complex words, definitions or better transition words.

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This student had specific examples and detail by using a common example and a example of common life. The student also rewrite the thesis in the conclusion. This student could get a higher score by using more complex words, definitions or better transition words.

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Erik Banuelos - 5th