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i’m out of breath

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i feel like i’m about to pass out or break down

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what if i tried

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i’m slipping again

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yk when your c*ts start to heal and the scars fade, like wtf don’t go away i need an reminder that i deserve it😫‼️

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my mom wants us to move up to washington, we’d make more money up there, it’s pretty, mostly democratic, nice people, and i’d be able to get hormones and surgery up there under the age of 18 and it not be considered “child abuse”. god i hate the texas governor. it seems like a good idea to go but i’d never want to leave her behind,, she’s all i got, how will i ever live without her by my side, i’ll miss her so much. why does my life have to be so difficult.

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look at this little man

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i hate everything i don’t deserve to live i always have to ruin it for myself don’t i?? i could’ve just done it but no i had to be lazy and not do it. my moms right about me yk i’m lazy and i don’t deserve her love and i’m a liar. i’m gonna be living on the streets when i’m older just because i might fail the seventh grade ad. i’m gonna work at a crappy fast food restaurant and get paid minimum wage everyday for the rest of my life because right now i’m being a dumb and lazy 12 year old kid right? is that how i’m gonna turn out?? i’m never gonna be happy so i might as well just end it here, my family doesn’t need me slowing them down so i should just go.

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this lady named amy just responded to me after i replied to one of her comments on a tiktok of someone drawing sal without his mask and she said and i quote “Lol Sal didn’t have cute scars and scratches, he had have a face 😐” i’m pretty sure she meant “half” but whatever and i replied “oh my god shut up” because it wasn’t that big of a deal people can draw sal however they want, and i’m assuming she went to my page and saw i used he/it pronouns and she responded “Okay it” like??? first of all that’s not how you use a pronoun because you wouldn’t say “Okay he” it doesn’t make any fucking sense like was she trying to offend me?? idfk it’s stupid

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i can’t handle it anymore i i don’t no know what to do i’m such a fucking burden why am i so horrible to them all they’re trying to do is help me,, i need them right now i can’t take it anymore. will they miss me at all. i’m so sorry i messed up so bad i just wanted you all to myself i’m so selfish i don’t deserve you guys. you do so much for me and i’m so ungrateful i’m so sorry for that i

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just relapsed lol

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they’re gonna find out soon when i can’t cover all of them with a single bandaid

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i want to do bad it’s getting to the point i’m gonna pee my pants if i don’t i’ll literally die:)

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i don’t even know who tf can see this lmao

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broke my record of crying 4 times i one day ;p

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crying feels like relief to me now

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i don't know i feel like i'm lying to myself,, every time i get upset or i'm numb i always eventually tell myself i'm lying and i'm faking it. i don't actually feel sad i just want attention, that's all this is for isn't it?? for me to lie to myself and having to remind myself its all fake. its getting tiring really, having to remind my stupid ass every time.

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i wou;dnt ;ike to be a burden, y’know?

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i feel as if everyone around me is disappearing

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i feel as if everyone around me is disappearing

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or maybe i'm the one that is slowly drifting away from reality