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Bullying can make your child's life a misery, but there are ways you can help stop it and organisations you can contact for support

Dealing with bullying

Bullying is unacceptable. If your child is being bullied at school, there should be procedures to support you. There are also organisations that offer help, information and advice if you need it.

Identifying bullying

Bullying can be defined as the use of power to hurt, harm or affect the rights and needs of a person or people.

It can include:

teasing, abusive remarks and name calling

threats and physical violence

damage to property

leaving pupils out of social activities deliberately

spreading rumours

upsetting mobile phone or email messages - this can be called 'cyberbullying'

If your child is being bullied

Your child may not say that they are being bullied but may show signs such as headaches, temper or anxiety. They may not want to go to school.

If you suspect they are being bullied, try talking to them about:

their progress with school work

friends at school

what they do at lunchtimes and breaks

any problems they are facing

It can be very upsetting to find that your child is being bullied. If this happens, try to talk calmly to them about what is happening.

You can:

make a note of what they say, who was involved, where, when and how often?

reassure your child that they have done the right thing by telling you

tell your child to report any further incidents to a teacher straightaway

talk to your child's teacher

Cyberbullying

Two thirds of all bullying is spoken or written. It is often done by text messages, on internet chat rooms or by instant messaging. Bullying can be subtle but most children know who is doing it to them.

If your child is getting bullied you can:

get them to show you the messages and to tell you at once when anything new happens

tell them never to respond to an internet bully or to abusive text messages

make sure they stick to moderated chat rooms

tell them that bullying usually stops once they tell other people about it

if bullying or abuse starts in a chat room, encourage your children to leave immediately and tell you - you can then contact the moderator

tell them never to give out their contact details online or put photographs of themselves up on websites

Talking to teachers about bullying

When you talk to your child's teacher, remember they may have no idea your child is being bullied.

Try to stay calm and:

give details of what your child says has happened - give names, dates and places

make a note of what action the school will take

ask if there is anything you can do to help

stay in touch with the school - let them know if the problem continues or if the situation improves

find out what the anti-bullying policy is - every school should have one

If you have spoken to the school and the bullying doesn't stop, or if you are not happy with the way it is being dealt with, these organisations offer support:

Further advice is available from the Northern Ireland Anti-Bullying Forum.

If your child is bullying others

If your child is bullying, they could be copying people in the family or perhaps they haven't learned better ways of mixing with their friends. Friends may be encouraging bullying, or your child may be going through a difficult time and acting out aggressive feelings.

To stop your child bullying:

explain that what they are doing is unacceptable and is making other children unhappy

discourage other members of your family from using aggression or force to get what they want

show your child how they can join in without bullying

talk to your child's teacher about how you can work together

check regularly with your child about how things are going at school

give your child lots of praise when they are co-operative and kind to other people

Bullying: getting support

If you have spoken to your child's teachers and school and the bullying doesn't stop, or you are not happy with the way the school is dealing with it, the following organisations offer support and information:

Further advice and information is available on the websites below:

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Dealing with bullying and getting support

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Bullying can make your child's life a misery, but there are ways you can help stop it and organisations you can contact for support Bullying is unacceptable. If your child is being bullied at school, there should be procedures to support you. There are also organisations that offer help, information and advice if you need it.

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support for bullying

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BeatBullying used a range of techniques to deliver its bullying prevention model and engage with young people. As well as the core BB Mentoring that took place in schools, the charity provided an online social networking and mentoring service through the www.beatbullying.org website where young people mentored other young people about bullying and issues surrounding bullying and had access to specialist counsellors online.

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for parents, teachers and young people

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the UK anti bullying charity

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Parenting and Family Support - Family Lives (Parentline Plus) | Family Lives

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Parenting and family support from Family Lives (formerly Parentline Plus) through our website, helpline 0808 800 2222, email service at askus@familylives.org.uk, live chat and local services.

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support for children