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While staying at the art teacher's house, Ellen had ran away from her dad's house. When Ellen came to the art teacher's house, she was scared of her father. The art teacher did not understand why and told Ellen there was more like him. Ellen said, "I shuddered to think how God let him and the rest slip through."(48) She had not forgotten how her father has killed the one family member who really loved her. She saw her father as a monster and took this to the art teacher's house. However, to her, the art teacher was the first oasis resting point to the desert that was her father.

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Ellen needed to retreat somewhere after her dad attacked her. Her first place was Starletta's house which wasn't a permanent option, she turned to her Aunt Betsy. Her aunt seemed like a good option. She called Betsy and she told Ellen that of course she could stay at her house. Ellen was confused on what that meant. Ellen really seemed to like it there. It was a cozy place and Betsy was nice to her. Betsy kept saying "just make yourself right at home"(41). That is exactly what Ellen did but she didn't realize that Betsy was just being a good hostess. Ellen thought she could stay there forever and she wanted to. Besty's house was sort of like a vacation. This symbol of a vacation represents her house. Ellen got away from everything for a weekend and didn't want it to end. It was like a weird vacation for Ellen.

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Ellen and the Counselor's Discussion About Her Name

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Ellen and the Counselor's Discussion About Her Name

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Ellen doesn't like visiting the councilor each weak because he brings up old memories. One particular time they meet Ellen gets angry with the councilor because he cannot understand why Ellen wants to change her last name. "The problem is not the name. The problem is WHY you feel you need another identity. Not identity. Just a new name I wanted to write that big across the sky so he would understand and the picking into my head would stop." The councilor thinks that Ellen is trying to change the past but it is acutely the opposite she wants to change the future. The symbol represents the perception that the councilor has of Ellen's new name. He doesn't understand her reasoning and this is why she gets angry with the councilor and does not come back.

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Starletta's house is the house she Ellen runs to after her father attacked her. It was the first place she thought of going even though they were a colored family. Starletta's house was safety for Ellen, "I do not care for the extras like food or the toilet... She wanted to know what was wrong at my house. That was funny to me"(39). The fact that Starletta's mother wanted to know what was wrong with Ellen's home shows she cares. she cared for the safety of Ellen and wanted to know what was wrong. She took Ellen in and gave her a safe place to sleep for the night. The symbol of the first aid kit is to show how Starletta's house helped heal Ellen. Her house was a first aid kit for Ellen, it was the first thing she wen to when she got hurt. First aid kits are also the first thing people go to when they get hurt.

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When Ellen went to her grandmother's house, she was still feeling partially guilty about her mother's death. As she got to the house, she realized her grandmother thought exactly that. Ellen even said on page 61, "If i knew then what I know now I would have jumped out of her car moving and high-tailed it. Her grandmother thought Ellen Foster associated with her dad to kill her mom and was acting innocent in front of court. However, Ellen is sure that they will get along better. This was then shown not to be true when the grandmother sent her to the cotton field. She had to go through labor and hear about how awfully the grandmother treats the workers.

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Ellen's first Christmas we are introduced to, it is shown that Ellen doesn't believe in Santa. She doesn't seem particularly excited about Christmas, "I am glad I did not believe in Santa Claus. As my daddy liked to say- wish in one hand and spit in the other and see which one gets full first"(27). What her dad was trying to say was don't believe in dreams and wishes. He was trying to say they never come true and they are stupid. This is what Santa was, a stupid dream. He was the Grinch. However, his dream crushing spirit didn't kill her Christmas cheer. She did have a more realistic view of Christmas though. The reason for this view of Christmas is portrayed in the symbol. The symbol of the Grinch represents her father. Her father told her how dream and wishes don't come true. Her disbelief in Santa stemmed from his abuse. He stole her Christmas and her view of it was forever poisoned from him.

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On page 3 she describes her father as," A big wind up toy of a man. He is just too sorry to talk back to even if he is my daddy. And she is too limp and too sore to get up the breath to push the words out and stop it all. She just stands there and lets him work out his evil on her." When she is home it is just a constant stream of chaos and evil. Her mother cannot protect herself because of her illness and is unable to protect herself from Ellen's father. In this situation Ellen is very much like pandora from greek mythology. When Pandora opens the box it is very much like when Ellen comes home from school to her fathers home. Even after her mothers death the "Evil" in her house continued to linger. Her father tried to keep all the evil in the house, thats why Ellen's father would not let Ellen use the phone when her mother committed suicide. Like Pandora, Ellen is forced to control this evil but even though she tried as hard as she could she couldn't contain it.