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At the beginning of our lives, we don't know who we are, for we are just a product of our parents. We start as a byproduct from one parent to another, from sperm to fertilizing our mother's eggs. We are just a living organism developing every day. We are developing a heartbeat, body, and organs. Even at this very moment, when we are still inside our mothers, they can determine our sex base of the body part they see. But does that give it the right to define our gender and who we are for the rest of our lives?

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The moment we enter the world we are assigned a gender, male or female. This reminds me of the reading "The Medical Construction of Gender: Case Management of Intersexed Infants" by Kessler. In this reading, it talks about how doctors would perform surgeries on intersex infants. Before telling the parents the sex of their child, the doctor would have to decide whether this infant should be a boy or a girl based on the size of their penis. Once the decision was made they would perform the surgery and then announce the sex of the child. So if performing sex-changing surgeries is okay to do on an infant, who has no say at so whatever, then why look down on those who do have a say and right?

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This world may seem like it sees color but the reality is that it holds tight to the black-and-white views of how gender roles should be. The reading "The Invention of Heterosexuality" by Katz, talks about how heterosexuality came to be and how it changed and was questioned over time. How the role of the male was to be masculine and the female was to be feminine. That the purpose of the two sexes was to reproduce offspring rather than to love each other in the beginning but as time went love became a factor for them. Even then the idea was for the men to be the breadwinner while, the females stayed home to take care of the children, chores, and household duties. Even as children we are prone to this idea that boys should be the providers and protectors while the girl should stay back. As kids, we are given toys based on what gender we are and it's not until we're older we begin to realize who we truly are and what defines us. A boy could love the performing arts while a girl could love anything that involves STEM. What right does society's view on gender give them to define who we are?

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As we grow we begin to discover who we are as a person. Whether it's the person looking back at us in the mirror or someone completely different. When growing up we have always been told that a boy should be with a girl and that was it but now it's the time for you to discover who you are. To find yourself. Whether it be that you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, intersexual, etc. Only you can decide how you see yourself and no one else. Whether they choose to accept it or not is up to them but it has nothing to do with the person you feel is rightfully who you are. This is a challenge for many people for when they do find who they are the people they hope would support them the most will end up turning their back on them in the end but they will always have friends and a community that will support them. If they're lucky enough they will have that one family member that will reach out and be there for them no matter what. As we are growing up we are told that we are loved no matter what we do or decide to do with our lives but when the time comes and we speak out all those words are taken back all of a sudden as though they were just empty and meaningless. This leaves us to question the people we looked up to while growing up, do you even love the real me or do you want me to pretend for the rest of my life to be something I'm not?

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Life is messy, which can be said in any situation we face but when dealing with personal matters it's a bit more complicated. But once we clear out the clutter and unnecessary toxic drama we can finally begin to express our true selves. We can break out of the gender role we were assigned from the moment we were born and be true to our real identity. Breaking away from the social norm of males being the providers and females the housewives reverse the roles. The same goes for children. If a little boy prefers the arts rather than sports let him be while if a girl prefers STEM over dolls just leave her alone. If a guy would rather dress more polished than sporty let it be. The same for a woman if she prefers to dress more tomboy than girly let her be. This is them expressing who they are truly and not some black-and-white picture that has been painted throughout the years. But once you build up the courage to finally come out and be true to your real identity no one can take it away from you. This identity belongs to you whether it's heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, intersexual, etc. You are you and they are them. The only thing that matters in this life is how you see yourself. To live the life that will make you happy. Break the social norm and find your true self.