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Write a short summary of the essay your group read.

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Write a short summary of the essay your group read.

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Write down 3 of your "Do and Don't"s for this essay.

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Write down 3 of your "Do and Don't"s for this essay.

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Think about some of the things you thought were good and things you would change if it were your own essay.

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Write down what you graded this essay using the Ridgewood competencies rubric and a short explanation for why you gave it that level. (W.1, W.2, and W.3)

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This college essay was about a student who showed how he handled adversity and why he belonged in the education program.

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Do: Take a risk, connect examples/experiences to main claim and have an interesting hook.

Don't: Be repetitive, misspell words and overuse "I"

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W.1 - 5: I gave this score a 5 because...

W.2 - 4: I gave this score a 4 because...

W.3 - 5: I gave this score a 5 because....

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The personal statement is about a student who studied psychology and what they did while studying psychology.

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His essay explains how he would be a perfect fit for the school, but doesn’t do much to show how the writer is as a person.

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To Do = Use strong personal examples from your life to connect your personal interested and experiences to the main topic about your college essay.

Not to do = use over exaggerating vocabulary terms in your essay, or using a word incorrectly

To do = organize your ideas so it connects to your main personal statement and fits into the essay correctly. Focus on your personal statement and only use ideas that will connect back to your personal statement or goal in your college essay.

Not to do = Have a boring or weak hook. Try to have your beginning of your essay engaging and not boring but also not too informational that it spoils the rest of the essay

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This college essay was about how the student faced some adversity and how she was able to overcome it. It was also about how that adversity made her the perfect person to be accepted into the law school.

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This essay was very inspiring and made me feel good for the main protagonist, he overcame many childhood struggles and pains to become the person he is now and he is achieving his goals and dreams .

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Do- explain why you would be a good asset to the school

Don’t include very little personal information and have the essay formatted like a shopping list

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I gave this a score of 4 because the introduction is bland, however I still enjoyed the story.

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Do: explain how you learned to cope with your struggles, use as much detail as possible, use a cause and effect prompt.

Don’t: use fancy words that don’t fit/flow, use too much imagery, overuse “I”

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Do Write a better intro maybe start with a short story 

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Do Write a better intro maybe start with a short story 

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Don’t make your story boring to hook the person on right away

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W.1 I would give this one an 4 because he had a very engaging hook , emotionally he had us invested in his story and showed us the transition from child to young adult .

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Do - include adversity you faced and how you overcame it, explain how that makes you a good candidate for the school, and share some personal information.

Don’t - have a big block of text, don’t have a dry story at the beginning, and overuse I

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Her essay was about the struggles of getting evicted and having to move into a different house with a completely different culture from her home. The essay shows how she grew and learned to appreciate more cultures than just her own while also teaching her many other valuable lessons such as time management and priorities.

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W1.-4: I gave this score because it was a good introduction, but it had run-ons and mis spellings.

W2.-2: I gave this score because the story was all over the place and changed topics off of its intro.

W3.-2: I gave this score for the same reason just didn’t make sense and wasn’t on topic.

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This college essay had talked about multiple subjects, and had made no sense. It had talked about their love for literature and drama. Then went into their pursue for history, after they had talked about their interest in history they had talked about how great of a student they are. How they have mentored, played in extra-curriculars, and how they are ready to teach to people with learning disabilities. Overall, this essay had jumped topic to topic and was not blended together well.

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W.1 I give the writer a 3 because they include a personal reason as to why they want to follow this career path
W.2- I give the writer a 2 because they do provide evidence that supports the claim but they don’t connect it well.
W.3- I give the writer a 2 because there isn’t much development, it is very cut and dry
W.4/5- I give the writer a 1 for both as they do not connect their evidence, or put much effort in making the essay an engaging read.

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Space to grow is formatted to be just like a story or a book. It puts characters in it that derive from his experience and has them talk in the lines. The grade would be a C and it would get a level 1 for W.1 but it has no sort of introduction or claim or hook. It would be a level 4 for W.2 since it has a ton of structure when it comes to sourcing and evidence. The essay would get a level 2 in W.3 as it has some sort of reasoning. Finally, for W.4, they would get themself a level 1 as it just levels itself out in different sections yet has a different look, so it gets no further than a level 1.

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Do’s:
A story about an interesting and unusual experience and what it taught
many quotes from my own life
Don’t
not well structured
No hook
there could be fewer paragraphs but they could be better organized

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W.1 :2- I gave a score 2 because, there was no hook, and it did not give any background information.

W.2 :3- I gave a score 3 because, he could support his claims with evidence but, there was not as much.

W.3 :4- I gave a score 4 because, he supported his claims clearly with the amount of evidence he provided.

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W.1 I gave a 1 because the intro had no connection to the reader.
W.2 and W.3 I gave a 3 because the writer is extremely qualified, but instead of showing that they sorta list that.

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W.1 - I gave this a 4 because the claim i well constructed and gives a lot of important and engaging information that answers the main topic and engages the reader.

W.2 - I gave this a 4 because the evidence has a lot of information and reason. Evidence has been introduced with a lot of source information as it should be. There is also at least 1 counter claim, no major errors and repetitiveness.

W.3 - I gave this a 4 as well because the reasoning is well constructed, clear and sufficient. The evidence clearly supports the stated claim in this essay.