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Isabella Donovan

ESSAY ONE: This is Water by David Foster Wallace

In his unconventional Kenyon College commencement speech, This is Water, David Foster Wallace perceives the mundane tasks of daily life through a self-aware lens. He challenges the assumption that we are all eternally stuck in our default, self centered ways of thinking and living. Wallace uses his speech to remind the graduating class of 2005 that the most obvious realities, like the water that fish constantly swim in, can be the most difficult to perceive. He believes that the most important part of our education is not what we learn, but how we learn to think, choose and frame our experiences.

He opens his speech using a parable about two younger fish encountering an older fish who asks them “How’s the water”, to which they respond, “What the hell is water?” It shows how the most fundamental aspects of life are often the hardest to recognize or talk about because they are so ingrained in our daily experiences. The fish are unaware of the water in which they swim through 24/7, simply because they swim through it 24/7. The water, in this metaphor, represents the habitual habits of thought or mindless repeated actions that humans “swim” through daily without even realizing it. Just as the young fish are unaware of the water that sustains them, us humans often fail to recognize the cultural and existential forces that define our thoughts and behaviors. Wallace uses this fish parable to introduce his argument. Wallace argues that, from birth, humans only have regard for their own perspective. Every event, interaction and experience revolves around us because we are at the center of our own consciousness. It feels slightly selfish, but it is simply how humans process reality and it is not only natural, but necessary to survive. Everything we know about the world comes to us from what we see, feel, hear and think. However, as we age into adulthood, Wallace believes that our way of seeing the world becomes limiting. He believes that because of its repetition, adult life consists of selfishly navigating the same invisible forces that go unnoticed until we make efforts to change them. For example, humans often instinctively respond negatively to common bothersome occurrences such as being stuck in traffic or in a lengthy checkout line. In these moments of frustration, humans begin to recount all of the other negative aspects of life that they are grappling with at that moment, like how hungry and tired they are simultaneously. In this process, the inconvenience of the traffic or checkout line is magnified. It becomes less of a shared experience of waiting with those around us and more about how it is specifically interfering with our desire to proceed with our day. Surrounding humans cease to exist, however, instead of being perceived as real humans with their own struggles, we reduce them down to mere obstacles standing in the way of us and our goal of proceeding with our day. We instinctively blame these innocent individuals for our own discomfort without considering the possibility that they too might be struggling with exhaustion, hunger and other stress. We, humans, do not often realize that this creates a sense of alienation for us.  A lot of humans feel as if they are navigating the world full of people indifferent to their needs, when the reality is that humans have so much overlap with each other. Wallace believes that unless we can make conscious efforts to change our perspectives and “see the water”, we will remain trapped in a self-centered way of living that leads to a disconnect with those around us. If we do not check on ourselves, we can become blind to the perspectives of those around us. Instead of viewing the customer or car in front of us as an obstacle, we could choose to imagine what their day might have been like or acknowledge that they are probably just as frustrated as we are. Instead of feeling constantly aggrieved by life’s small annoyances, we can find moments of connection even in the most mundane situations.

Wallace also explores the notion that, whether it be money, beauty, power or intellect, everybody “worships” something.  If we aren’t conscious of what we choose to prioritize, we’ll inevitably fall into the trap of worshiping things that can destroy us. Unconscious worship leads to misery because these forms of worship can never be fully satisfied. Wallace believes that true freedom lies in being aware enough to choose what we worship and in making conscious choices about what holds meaning in our lives.

This concept resonates with me heavily, especially when I think about it in the context of seeing the water—recognizing the small, unnoticed things that shape how I live my life. In a world that often prioritizes success, power, and material wealth, it is easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Living in New York, it’s so easy to get caught up in chasing external success. Wallace’s point about worshiping the wrong things made me realize how often I focus on the superficial markers of success. In this process, I lose sight of the things that actually fulfill me, and instead pursue what “looks good” or “sounds good” to others. For example, last year, throughout the college application process, not only did I fail to “see the water,” but I also found myself subconsciously worshiping specific schools because of how I would be perceived by my peers for attending them. I was more focused on the image or prestige those schools would bring, rather than what they could offer me personally. Seeing the water, for me, means taking a step back from the chaos and hustle and noticing what’s really important. If I base my self-worth or happiness on goals that can never be fully satisfied, I’ll constantly feel like I’m falling short and I will always feel inadequate and unfulfilled. Wallace’s message is a reminder that I get to choose what I give my energy to. He urges us to look at how we move through life. He reminds us that even in the most ordinary moments, we can find meaning and connection if we’re willing to notice them.

In conclusion, Wallace’s commencement speech is a powerful wake-up call to humans about our self awareness and choice. He shows his listeners and readers that a human’s life experience can consist of going through life on autopilot and be driven by shallow values that leave us empty, or we can choose to see the world differently. True fulfillment lies in the ability to pay attention to the water around us and consciously deciding what to worship.

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If Y=Mx+b, then why does—I actually have no idea whatsoever. I am bad at math, plain and simple. Mathematics has always been a daunting adversary in my academic journey—a relentless opponent stopping at nothing to battle my patience and perseverance. Countless of my adolescent hours were spent grappling with unfamiliar equations, watching Khan Academy, and wiping tears from my textbooks. Whether it was arithmetic, algebra, geometry, or calculus, the droning voice of my math teacher became an indistinct hum as the symbols on the board jumbled into an assemblage of confusion. On my desk, a blank worksheet bears the weight of unanswered equations; a reminder of my math teacher's indifference to my struggles with dyscalculia.

Amidst my struggle with math and number-dominated science classes, I found comfort in writing and public speaking, where my skills flourished. I finally discovered something I was proud of—an area for me to truly thrive. Through my difficulties with STEM-based classes, evading failure became innate. Whether it was a math test, questionable outfits, college application conversations, or the cramp in my rib after running for less than 6 minutes, the agonizing feelings of failure haunted me. My lack of confidence in math permeated every aspect of my life, leaving me defeated and simultaneously limiting my ability to speak confidently in my earlier years. Written words became my avenue for self-expression, allowing me to delve into my creativity and critical thinking. Additionally, I discovered my talent for public speaking, giving a voice to my thoughts and insecurities. As I learned to articulate my thoughts, I progressed from struggling with basic conversations to becoming the inaugural member of Poly Prep's middle-school speech team. Soon enough, I became the captain of the speech team in both middle and high-school. This role not only provided me with a platform to express myself and showcase my abilities, but also taught me the significance of communication. The charisma I exhibited on stage induced my audience engagement, which was powerful.

Throughout my academic journey and battles with feelings of inadequacy, I would conquer the bustling streets of New York City and embark on lengthy walks. With each step I took—my Nike sneakers nudging deeper into my already excruciatingly painful blisters—I recognized that everyone was navigating life with a unique approach. It was not until I realized that aiming to excel in everything, including math, was beyond my reach that I could unleash my true potential in other domains. Watching only the glamorous highlights of others’ lives through social media and striving to mirror those older than me, who seemed to have everything meticulously mapped out, was detrimental to my self-worth. This newfound awareness empowered me to release my negativity and self-imposed struggle, embracing the concept that success is not defined by a single standard.

The miles I traversed became my sanctuary—a space for introspection. I used these treks to delve into self-understanding from a psychological perspective, translating my thoughts into writing. When I informed my family of these revelations, their encouragement of my insights prompted me to shed light on the complexity of emotions on a broader scale. Through @Talkingtoomuch on Spotify, I began producing a podcast discussing emotional intelligence, personal growth, and navigating life's obstacles. Similar to my podcast, my fashion-blog has been a public outlet of mine for seven years. My blog began as a space to share fashion ramblings and showcase new dresses. Since then, I tailored my fashion blog for my current lifestyle, writing and publishing posts on my public website.

My math struggles were the catalyst for my transformation, unveiling my strengths in writing, speech, and psychological self-reflection. I learned how much more to life there is than the confines of youthful struggles. Embracing my unique strengths was the key to my personal triumph. I hope that in continuing my current efforts and connecting with a broader audience, I can narrow down the final answer(s) to my lifelong equation.

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https://bellafashionblogger.com/f/style-vs-fashion

Style vs Fashion

May 1, 2023

There is a fine line that is drawn between the idea of STYLE and FASHION. Although some poeple loosely interchange the two words, they have significantly different meanings.

An individual's style is personal to them. This means that someone with "good style" has curated a "look" for themselves that they manage to pull off ceaselessly...without a doubt. Someone with style owns a closet full of pieces that define them, and not the general public or other people around them. The reason that the two terms are frequently mixed up, is that those doing so do not have their own style. Someone might think that they're "stylish" after purchasing clothing that is "on-trend", because they see their friends wearing it and see it, flooding their TikTok explore page. While the item could definitely be cute and fashionable, a person whose wardrobe consists of those pieces exclusively does not have "style". Style is timeless in every way because it is the individual's unique taste. Meanwhile, someone who is "fashionable" follows along with society's current fad clothing standards, which will soon fade out.

Notice how clothing trends come and go in phases.

The evolution of trends and their downfall:

Phase 1: A public figure begins wearing something that strays from the current fashion trends. This public figure is bold for doing so and in return, they begin to receive backlash from the general public about the clothing item itself/ how it was styled. Our society is quick to judge anything that deviates from what is currently trending.

Phase 2: The very few "elites" begin hopping onto this new trend while it's hot and still unconventional.  As they begin to wear this item in public settings or on social media, they draw a lot of appeal to this product or article of clothing. The item begins popping up in well-established stores and being sold at a high price. Because this item it is sold in very few stores, it establishes an extreme value. Supply and demand: the more limited an item is... the more value it holds.

Phase 3: Soon enough, the large department stores oblige to the public's request and the item is being sold everywhere. Ironically, those who once looked down upon the trend are now buying the item in multiple colors.

Phase 4: Quick to give the people what they want, fast fashion brands will begin creating knock-off/dupe versions of the original item, and selling it at a low price. Just as quickly as the trend evolved, it also loses its initial value. Just when most of the population begins catching up on the fashion trend, it is completely shot down. It is shot down by those who pride themselves on being "original" and superior to those who picked up on the trend after them. The only people left wearing the "last season"  item are looked down upon by the "originals" for buying the inauthentic version. Now, it is the public figure's job to come out with another questionable trend.

Food or Fashion?

Let's use food--something we all love-- to break this down further. We can compare the idea of style with the preference for food. Although large food trends do not occur nearly as often as fashion trends, they do still exist. Do you recall the infamous "Whipped Coffee" from the 2020 lockdown days? The trend blew up and took social media teens + millennials by storm. Initially, some people might have been skeptical about the taste, and if they should or shouldn't attempt making it. Next thing we knew, every coffee lover was implementing this into their quarantine morning routine. Now, as over 3 years time has passed, I cannot name a single person who still makes whipped coffee. It lost its value, and people reverted back to their "style" and preference for coffee. In the same way that we all have different coffee orders( for the most part), we have different clothing tastes. Humans love to shadow other humans actions. In this analogy, fashion goes hand in hand with whipped coffee, balsamic vinegar + seltzer "coke", Pasta Chips, Salmon Rice Bowl (Emily Mariko), Frozen Yogurt Bark, Fruit Roll-Up + icecream burrito, etc. Style goes hand in hand with whatever your go-to food preference is. Whatever pasta shape, sushi roll, salad dressing, dipping sauce, or pizza topping you like best is something individual to you. It is your own personal food style.

It is hard to differentiate style and fashion... especially when your Explore page is swamped with images of your favorite celebrities wearing a new boot shape, neckline, or pattern. I am a victim of the Instagram trend persuasion epidemic. I have been lured by fashion brands on my Instagram feed and been sucked into purchasing items that I know might not even make it out of my closet once. Steps that I take to avoid wasting money and space on fad items are the following:

1. I will evaluate the situation and mentally test myself. It is crucial for me to visualize if this item will make an impact on my wardrobe. Even if an item is enticing, if you cannot envision more than 5 potential outfits... the item is definitely a no.

For example, let's talk about the Ugg minis. I purchased the Ugg minis at the end of 2021 for comfort. I wore the boots informally because they are comfortable and versatile for my casual outfits. I began wearing the Uggs before they completely blew up because I liked them, and that is all that I needed. My mom thought they were absolutely ridiculous, until 2 years later, when everybody began wearing them. My own mom was subject to the trend cycle that I broke down in the previous paragraph. I took a risk when buying the Uggs, knowing that they could potentially gain massive popularity and ultimately lose their value. I decided to take this risk because I genuinely like the shoes and knew the wear I could get out of them. I still wear the Ugg minis with outfits of my choice, styling them into my wardrobe. This is a perfect example of consciously following fashion trends while still maintaining a personal style additionally.

2. I will stay true to myself as an individual. Do not let others' opinions influence you. Your style is your own... nobody else's.  Never listen to someone who says that something timeless is "no longer in style" or "not trendy". If somebody says tighter jeans or high/mid-waisted jeans are out... that might be their preference and not your own. For example, since 2020, when looser low waisted jeans began becoming the norm, I did not let it stop me from wearing my high-waisted boot cut/ straight leg/ skinny jeans. Every outfit I wore during this era was styled well because I truly loved the items that I was wearing. Was everyone a fan of my outfits? Definitely not. Did it matter to me? Definitely not. Not everyone needs to coincide with your stylistic decisions and everyone's style should not align.

At the end of the day, Style VS Fashion is nothing to take too seriously. All that matters is that you like the way that you dress, and are having fun with it. Never dress for anyone but yourself. Clothing is a form of expression and art, and we should take advantage of its powers.

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There is a fine line that is drawn between the idea of STYLE and FASHION. Although some poeple loosely interchange the two words, they have significantly different meanings.

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To be loved is to be greedy

By Isabella Donovan

Love and longing blend together, making me blinded by the other.

The undefinable essence of love is one that is sewn and threaded into the innocent mind of my adolescence

Romance movie, after romance movie, and suddenly the concept of love becomes a necessity.

To be loved is a desire, a craving that is not tangible, yet raw and authentic.

In the midst of this, a discovery is unveiled:

The yearning I obtain for love is questioned with the realization that for one to love me is not a seamless process— yet I proceed.

To be loved is to have a purpose.

I desire to derive that purpose; it is all I could ever want

I find myself reorienting my identity with subtle alterations

Each one is slight, but it is what is necessary to be loved… right?

As time progresses, the impact of them all, intertwined with another, weighs heavy on my sense of individuality. I make that sacrifice, but it is okay for me if it is okay for you.

I can solely describe myself as what you want me to be…depending on who you are and your preference.

What is that?

I will do it.

Say the word and I will be it.

Is that enough to be loved?

I will sacrifice my entire being in return for promised love

They prompt me to make these sacrifices. I oblige.

But if you love me, and they do not, I will find my way— I will indeed— to fine tune the parts of me that they dislike, while still catering myself to you.

It is a difficult job. I know it is.

In the end it is what fulfills me, though, as it guarantees love

Is there a life to live without the prospect of love? If so, I will find a way to alter it so that it will love me… and maybe you and they can love me too.

I cannot say I love this version of myself as I tear my distinct soul apart, shredding my originality to pieces.

That is okay though.

If you love me, that is what counts.

I cannot settle for a life with love from a singular perspective. I am greedy.

I want to be craved, longed, and coveted from every angle.

I want you to love me, them to love me, this to love me, and that to love me, but it is okay if I do not love me; that is not what matters.

I cannot project love because I am too busy working to deserve it

Am I selfish?

I am sorry. You do not like that quality right?

Or could you love that? Could all of you love that?

I will do it if so.

Authors note:

This poem brings life to an overwhelming longing for love and acceptance, where the constant yearning to be liked and valued, in an attempt to reach the pre-conceived notion of “perfect” that is unique to each individual, occupies my entire existence. It is an all-consuming desire to be wanted by everyone and everything, no matter what the cost. It is impossible to be loved by everyone, yet a battle that I, and many others, subject themselves to. To be liked by friends, crushes, teachers, people of authority, and even strangers, is an all consuming obsession and self- terrorization of how I am perceived. Struggling to maintain authenticity, I find myself altering who I am to meet the expectations of others. This means constantly changing my personality in conversations to fit the standards of whomever I am speaking to. This knocks my sense of individuality, as I change myself in order to receive love from each new individual— an exhausting cycle that I cannot seem to shake.

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Christopher Justice "Texting Ruins
Literacy Skills

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Christopher Justice "Texting Ruins
Literacy Skills

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"Texting cultivates a playfulness in how we use language and communicate with others." (309)

(this connects to my blog post writing style and how I can shift between different tones and styles)

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David Bartholomae  “Inventing the University”

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David Bartholomae  “Inventing the University”

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“Students must appropriate a specialized discourse before they are able to use it with ease.”

Relates to the academic writing, where I had to adapt to institutional expectations while maintaining my personal voice.

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“Rigid essay structures limit creative thinking.”

Reflects the contrast between structured academic essays and the freedom in my blog and personal writing.

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Writing Analytically (Rosenwasser & Stephen)

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Writing Analytically (Rosenwasser & Stephen)

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Notice & Focus: “What details stand out? Why do they matter?”

This Helps analyze Common App essay, which contrasts struggle (math) and success (writing).

The Method: “Patterns, repetition, and contrast reveal deeper meanings.”

My writing often explores contrasts like personal identity vs. external expectations (Poem: To Be Loved is to Be Greedy) and Blog Style vs. Fashion.

Asking “So What?” “Move beyond observations—what does this mean on a deeper level?”

This pushes me to think about what my writing says about my literacy practices and how they impact my ability to navigate different writing spaces

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My writing shifts depending on the platform. Academic writing often feels restrictive, while personal writing (blog, poetry) allows for more freedom

This contrast mirrors Bartholomaes argument about students struggling to enter academic discourse.

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Struggles vs Strengths (Common App essay: Math vs. Writing)

Personal Identity vs Social Perception (Poem: To Be Loved is to Be Greedy)

Structured Rules vs. Creative Freedom (Academic Essays vsBlog Posts)

Style vs Fashion (Blog Post: Defining Authenticity in Self-Expression)

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Christopher Justice, Texting Ruins Literacy Skills

David Bartholomae, Inventing the University

Writing Analytically by Rosenwasser & Stephen

Footstools and Furniture (5-Paragraph Theme Critique)