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Best Punjabi Sikh Wedding | Jasveen & Divya | Cinematic Montage| Malaysia

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Upacara Nikah dan kahwin Orang Asli Temuan di Bukit Putus( Temuan Wedding Ceremony)

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The clock strikes 10pm, and the dance floor opens. Spirited bhangra beats fill the air, accompanied with a rhythmic double headed drum, or better known as the dhol. This gets the patiala peg (whiskey shots)-infused bloodstream of the crowd up and running, as they get up on their feet and dance away the hearty helping of juicy mutton that was piled onto their plates about an hour or two ago.

To the eyes of the outside world, this pretty much sums up a Punjabi wedding. However, a Punjabi Sikh will tell you that there is so much more to this colourful celebration than the above stereotype. Here's the real lowdown on a Malaysian Punjabi wedding:

What is a Punjabi wedding?

First and foremost, in Punjabi families, a marriage is not just about 'the bonding of two souls' - it is a bonding between two families. And by families, we mean extended families. So your mum's sister's husband's brother's daughter is now your cousin. There goes all your hope of telling her that you find her attractive.

A Punjabi wedding is best explained by breaking it down to four main rituals, each of them representing a celebration within a celebration. Hence, with all of these elaborate and exciting celebrations to be held, it is no surprise to see a Punjabi wedding spanning at least three to four days, more commonly from Thursday to Sunday.

Turmeric Thursday (Morning)

I think she missed a spot! The turmeric paste leaves the skin of the bride glowing, perfect for those million dollar wedding photos. (Image: Cosmin Danila Photography)

The Maiyan aka Oil Ceremony
This function is performed separately at the homes of the bride and the groom. This cleansing and purifying ceremony marks the start of the extravagant wedding celebrations. Here, oil is brushed on the hair of the bride and groom. Meanwhile, turmeric paste is gently smeared all over their bodies.

Tipsy Thursday (Evening)

The Sangeet aka Musical Night
This is arguably the best part in any Punjabi wedding. It's a night of singing, dancing, eating and partying before the marriage ritual is carried out. If you are planning on letting your hair down, this is it. This colourful night begins with the female relatives and close female friends of the bride and groom singing classic Punjabi folk songs. Here's a must-have folk number in any sangeet, without which, it'd be like chicken biryani without the drumstick - utterly pointless:

Choora Ceremony
While the singingis going on, the maternal uncle of the bride arrives to complete the choora ceremony. Here, the uncle gifts the bride traditional red and white coloured wedding choora (bangles). Soon enough, the crowd is entertained by an array of thumping performances from families of the bride and groom.

In India, family members would go around the village carrying the Jaago, as it is seen as a symbol of invitation to the upcoming wedding. (Image: rainahodapearljaipur.blogspot.my)

With hungry bellies being well fed during dinner, the jaago soon arrives. Carried on the heads of the female relatives of the bride and groom, the arrival of this uniquely decorated pot leads to the men emptying their pockets and dancing along.

A Punjabi wedding summed up in one image - colourful, joyous and of course, there's the bhangra. (Image: Mobilemag/Pixabay)

Next, the dance floor opens and the partying begins. Adrenalised kids, enthusiastic teenagers, the robust male wolf pack, the sassy spice girls, fashionable aunties, tipsy uncles, adorable old couples and the beautiful bride and groom fill up the buzzing dance floor and bhangra away like there is no tomorrow.

Fatigued Friday

With Thursday's sangeet shenanigans behind us, Friday is usually put to good use for some well-deserved R&R. Go easy on your feet as they have undoubtedly been overworked on the dance floor, and get in that crucial beauty sleep for Saturday's big day. And as for the uncles who spent the entire night hogging the bar (if there was any), well, your bed will be your sanctuary for the rest of the day.

Sacred Saturday

The Milni ceremony - the fathers of the bride and the groom meet, exchange garlands and share an embrace. (Image: Bellissima Photo)

The Milni Ceremony
This brings us to the pinnacle of a Punjabi wedding, the wedding ceremony itself. Commonly held on a Saturday, the Anand Karaj wedding ceremony takes place in a local Gurdwara, the Sikh place of worship. The ceremony kicks off in the morning as the groom makes his way to the Gurdwara while accompanied by family, friends and his sarbala (best man). Upon arrival, the milni ceremony takes place. Next, the families of the bride and groom are treated to a delectable Punjabi breakfast. Following the generous treat, guests make their way into the Gurdwara darbar sahib (prayer hall), and wait for the bride to walk in, accompanied by her family members.

The lavan ceremony - the groom wears a palla (sash) over his shoulder and the bride holds on to the opposite end. (Image: Manbir Singh/Pinterest)

The couple circumambulate the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, while the Granthi (the priest) recites a stanza from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. (Image: Cosmin Danila Photography)

The Anand Karaj aka Wedding Ceremony
There are four stanzas to be recited from the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji (the Sikh holy book). Better known as the lavan, each of these represents a vow to be taken and upheld by the couple. Hence, the bride and groom circumambulate the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji on four occasions. Upon completion of this blissful ceremony, the couple are now finally wed.

Welcome home. (Image: Ali Naqi/Pexels)

Doli Di Vaddai
After the blissful Anand Karaj and the wedding lunch, the newlyweds make their way to the bride's home for the doli di vaddai. Here, the married couple are given blessings by the family members of the bride, as the groom has now arrived to take his bride to her new home.

Slick Sunday

Image: thebigfatindianwedding.com

The Wedding Reception
The wedding reception marks the end of the extravagant Punjabi wedding celebration. Here, there are no specific rules and rituals to be carried out, except for three: look your best, feed your guest and bhangra with the rest.

So there you have it, a look into a colourful and vibrant Malaysian Punjabi wedding. A perfect blend of tradition as well as celebration that promises to put a smile on the faces of its attendees.

P.S. For the bhangra virgins out there, remember to always warm up your shoulders before hitting the dance floor. Trust us on that, because it is all about the shoulders.

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What Goes Down at a Malaysian Punjabi Wedding | Lifestyle | Rojak Daily

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The clock strikes 10pm, and the dance floor opens. Spirited bhangra beats fill the air, accompanied with a rhythmic double headed drum, or better known as the dhol. This gets the patiala peg (whiskey shots)-infused bloodstream of the crowd up and running, as they get up on their feet and dance away the hearty helping of juicy mutton that was piled onto their plates about an hour or two ago.

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(BEFORE & DURING WEDDING)

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Orang Asli community in Malaysia is a small community and they are native community in this country. Culture and customs are also different and has its own uniqueness.

orang asli wedding ceremony

Hantar Tanda: Hantar Tanda or send a ring headed by a deputy village chief to set the day woo After it was done sending the ring. Usually send the ring is done by parents and older family members.
Propose: Marriage Ceremony: There is also a state sharpening teeth is to prove the maturity of the couple and they can responsible to their responsibilities. Bridal couple is required to perform the Berinai ceremony. Fingers of both bride and groom will cover with crush henna leaves. Berinai ceremony usually held until the next morning. At the same time dancing till the morning dance will be held. Bridal dais made of palm leaves or braid of rumbia leave, while the pillars are made of wood designed like a small house. This dais is made in front of bridal couple home. If ethnic groups live in the long house, the ceremony will held in the middle of the long house to be viewed by other family members. Then head circumference were made from leaves to beautify the couple. On the day persandingan, various delicious food provided by both representatives. Food was then distributed to all guests to eat together during ceremony. After that, the ceremony ended by bathing the couple as the sign they already be husband and wife. After Marriage:

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Orang Asli community in Malaysia is a small community and they are native community in this country. Culture and customs are also different and has its own uniqueness. orang asli wedding ceremony Hantar Tanda: Hantar Tanda or send a ring headed by a deputy village chief to set the day woo After it was done sending the ring.

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If you've been following us, you may have noticed that we recently did a blog on This time, we bring to you Sikh wedding rituals and customs. Let's start off with the fact that they are not the same, though people tend to regard them as so. Sikh is a religion while Punjabis hail from the state of Punjab. As Sikhism originated in Punjab, it only makes sense that most Sikhs are Punjabi and speak the Punjabi language. Punjabis as well are found all over the country and do not necessarily have to be Sikh. Punjabi wedding rituals and customs.
Now that we've got the basics covered, let's move on to the Sikh wedding rituals and customs:

SIKH PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

The Sikh wedding event starts off with a Kurmai or engagement ceremony.

Akhand paath: The families start off the Sikh wedding rituals and ceremonies by reading the whole Guru Granth Sahib. After this, the wedding date is fixed.

After all these rituals, both families gift present each other with gifts. The bride and groom exchange rings.

Chunni Chadai:

After the engagement, the groom's family visits the bride and his mother symbolically covers the bride's head with a chunni. His family also gifts the bride with clothes, jewellery, etc.

Mehndi and Chooda Ceremony:

Mehndi and chooda ceremonies are often done together. Mehndi is when the bride gets her hands and feet decorated in beautiful henna/mehndi designs.

For the chooda ceremony, the bride's maternal uncle gifts the bride with a set of red and white bangles that are to be dipped in milk before presenting. Golden ornaments called Kalires are tied to the bangles.

Similar to the Christian bouquet toss, it is said that whichever bridesmaid the bride showers with her Kalire will be the one to get married next.

A Sikh wedding ritual where the bride and groom are not allowed to leave their respective houses before the day of the wedding.

Gana is another Sikh ritual where a red thread is tied to the bride's left and groom's right hand. It is said to be sacred and protect them from bad omens.

This is similar to the Hindu Haldi ceremony. A paste of turmeric powder and mustard oil is applied to the bride and groom before the wedding for a natural glow.

In this Sikh wedding ritual, holy water is brought from the Gurudwara and the bride and groom are to bathe with this water. The water is to be brought by the sisters-in-law of the couple in an earthen pot (gharoli).

SIKH WEDDING RITUALS

After the groom is dressed in his wedding attire, he proceeds to the wedding venue. He is accompanied by his wedding procession consisting of close friends and family members who dance and sing along the way to the venue.

This is a Sikh wedding ritual where the bride's family welcomes the groom as he reaches the wedding venue. They offer the groom gifts and money. Often, they exchange garlands.

Anand Karaj:

This refers to the main Sikh wedding ceremony. Anand Karaj translates to 'blissful union'.
The families go into the Gurudwara to attend the Kirtan which is a set of religious songs that are sung. A guru granth sahib, the holy book of the Sikhs is brought out and the priest at the Gurudwara then recites ardas (a set of prayers) while the bride and groom are seated.

Laavan Pheras:

Laavan are the four prayers that seal the marriage.
The bride's pallu and the groom's shawl/dupatta are tied together as a symbol of unity. They then take rounds around their holy book, the guru granth sahib as the laavan is chanted. The groom leads the rounds holding a Kirpan (sword).

They exchange garlands and are then considered married.

Karah Prasad:

A ceremonial sweet is offered to the guests. The sweet is either made by the bride's family or by the gurudwara in a certain method and is blessed and considered holy.

SIKH POST-WEDDING RITUALS

An event that takes place to celebrate the newly married couple and their married life in the future. Food and drink is served and a lot of entertainment takes place.

This is when the bride bids an emotional farewell to her family and proceeds to her husband's house. As she departs, she throws a handful of rice backwards towards her mother, symbolically thanking her family for bringing her up and trying to repay them.
It is called doli as in earlier times, the bride was carried to the groom's house in a wooden structure called doli.

When the couple visits the bride's house for the first time after the wedding, they receive a warm welcome with gifts and an elaborate meal.

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A Guide to Sikh Wedding Rituals, Customs and Traditions

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If you've been following us, you may have noticed that we recently did a blog on This time, we bring to you Sikh wedding rituals and customs. Let's start off with the fact that they are not the same, though people tend to regard them as so.

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A Malaysian Chinese Wedding: Rituals and Gate-Crashing

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Malaysian Studies - Orang Asli Marriage.

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Orange County Wedding Photographer Los Angeles | Lin and JIrsa

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Chinese Wedding Traditions

Getting married? If you're of Chinese descent or just looking to integrate Chinese wedding customs into your ceremony, we've broken down a few different traditions you can think about incorporating on your big day.

Traditional Chinese Wedding Traditions

During a formal Chinese wedding proposal, the groom's family will present different gifts to announce the engagement, which is usually food and cakes. Both families send "Double Happiness Cakes" to their relatives and friends, along with invitations. The bride's family provides a dowry list, and the groom's family performs a "setting bridal bed" ritual.

Chinese Tea Ceremony

Both families perform the hairdressing and capping rituals for the bride and groom, similar to many other cultures. The groom then goes to the bride's home and is blocked by the bridesmaids. Both families are formally introduced during the Tea Ceremony and together they drink Tsao Chün, a Chinese tea. After the Tsao Chün tea has been finished, the couple would receive lai see, a lucky red envelope, given by the family that is filled with money and sometimes jewelry. A feast is served at the end of the wedding ceremonies.

For the groom, it is Chinese tradition for him to decorate the car. He then picks up his bride and together they travel to a reception. During the Chinese ceremony, the couple will exchange rings, share a drink of Tsao Chün tea while crossing arms, which is part of Chinese traditional rituals. The family are the only guests invited to this ceremony, but once the banquet begins the rest will join.

On the wedding night, the newlywed's room will be lit with a dragon and phoenix candle, and the new couple will drink wine from two cups tied together with a red string. The candle represents good luck on the couple's first night as husband and wife. The bride is then offered raw dumplings symbolizing her dedication to her future family and the power of giving birth.

Although modern Chinese weddings are quickly catching on, there are always a few Chinese wedding traditions that are usually present. These tips include both traditional and modern elements:

Traditional Chinese Wedding Invitations

The typical Chinese wedding invitation is red, placed in a red envelope, and usually has gold, vertical wording read from right to left with the groom's information presented first before the bride's. The invitation also usually includes the following - Chinese calendar dates for the wedding banquet, order of birth and names of the bride and groom, names of the parents, dinner venue, time for the cocktail reception, and time for dinner. The double happiness symbol is usually found somewhere on the invitation.

Traditional Chinese Wedding Dress | Qipao

It is Chinese tradition for the bride to wear a red dress, called a qipao and to cover her face with a red veil on the wedding day. In Chinese culture, red symbolizes happiness, prosperity and good luck. Today, modern weddings call for the bride to wear a white bridal gown, and third ball gown throughout the evening. Many modern brides also change into a fourth dress at the end of the ceremonies to send off their guests.

Chinese Wedding Banquet

This is a very lavish and usually expensive affair. Guests will sign their names in a book or on a scroll to present their gifts. Once the dinner begins, the bride then changes into a traditional red Chinese wedding dress. In traditional Chinese culture, both sets of parents would have separate wedding feasts. Many foods are considered symbolic in Chinese culture, like the whole fish for abundance, and sweet lotus seeds for dessert, which symbolizes a wish for fertility. There are usually six courses during the banquet, and both the bride and groom change will clothing between the third and sixth courses.

Post-Wedding

The day after the wedding, the bride usually prepares a breakfast for both families. She will receive a small gift from older relatives as she is formally introduced to the groom's family and they will proceed to give the bride a formal title within their family.

Three-day Symbolization

Three days after the wedding, the bride and groom visit the bride's family. At this time, the bride is no longer considered a part of the family but still welcomed as a guest. The groom is expected to present a roasted pig and enjoy a meal with the rest of the family.

Including both traditional and modern elements in a Chinese wedding can be exciting for relatives and fun for your friends of different descent. Chinese weddings in the Los Angeles area create beautiful photos and memories that last a lifetime. If you are planning a Chinese wedding, these are a few Chinese traditions to think about when planning your wedding day.

Check Out Some Of Our Chinese Weddings

For more East Asian culture check out Korean Wedding Traditions.

Are You A Photographer?

If you're a photographer interested in learning more about how to shoot cultural weddings, including Hindu, Jewish, Persian, Vietnamese, Korean, and Chinese weddings, we recommend our wedding photography education, available at SLR Lounge.

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Getting married? If you're of Chinese descent or just looking to integrate Chinese wedding customs into your ceremony, we've broken down a few different traditions you can think about incorporating on your big day. During a formal Chinese wedding proposal, the groom's family will present different gifts to announce the engagement, which is usually food and cakes.

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TRADITIONAL CHINESE WEDDINGS | Facts and Details

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According to Kasal.com: "The Chinese, like every group, have unique wedding traditions, ceremonies, and even superstitions. Because China is a large country, each clan has its own special tradition and customs. The ones mentioned here mostly originate from Fujian Province.

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An average of 10 million couples get married every year in China, creating an $80 billion industry. But despite the mind-boggling economics linked with Chinese weddings, they are still quite steeped in tradition.

Chinese weddings ceremonies are intimate and quiet affairs, but the wedding banquet (what we would call the reception) more than makes up for it with hours of delicious food, multiple gowns being worn by the bride, and a real celebration atmosphere.

The colour red plays a vital role in Chinese weddings as it is linked with success, love, loyalty, fertility, and honour. Another common colour is gold, which is obviously a symbol of wealth.

Traditionally white was avoided as it is associated with funerals, as are most other dark colours, but as Western brides have embraced black wedding gowns, Chinese brides have also come to wear white wedding gowns.

Here are some beautiful Chinese wedding traditions you will love.

Collecting the bride

Before the wedding ceremony, the groom leads a raucous procession to his future bride's home. It begins with a bang... literally, with firecrackers, drums and gongs used to signal the start of the journey.

A child walks at the front of the procession with the groom to symbolise the wish for future children. Those joining the walk carry lanterns and banners, while those who are musically inclined can play their instruments and a dancing lion follows up the rear for good measure.

Let the games begin

When the groom arrives at his future bride's house, he has to haggle with the bride's friends, who would be the bridesmaids in Western weddings.

They will set out tasks or stunts for him to perform and then expect him to hand over red packets of money in order for them to surrender their friend. The soon-to-be newlyweds then bow to the bride's parents and return to the groom's house.

Arriving home

Firecrackers will be set off to mark their arrival at their new home and a red mat is placed out for the bride so that her feet don't touch the ground on her way into the house.

Depending on the family traditions, the bride will have to step over a saddle or a slightly more dangerous lit stove in order to cross the threshold. It is believed the fire would cast out evil influences.

The ceremony

In traditional Chinese weddings, the ceremony is only a very small element of the wedding day. Vows are exchanged at a local government office as the paperwork is signed and then the couple attend an intimate ceremony, where they stand at the family altar and pay their respects to nature, family ancestors, and deities. The ceremony is complete when the couple bow to each other.

Tea ceremony

This can be held immediately after the ceremony or can even be the next day. The tea ceremony sees the newlyweds serve tea containing either two lotus seeds or two red dates to the groom's family.

The family are served in order, starting with the groom's parents before progressing from oldest to youngest. After each family member takes a sip of their tea, they offer the couple a red envelope with money or jewellery inside.

The banquet

Is it common for the parents of the bride and groom to host separate wedding feasts, meaning a wedding celebration could span days. In recent times, families have come together to host joint affairs, which are bright, colourful and extravagant affairs that usually have between five and 10 courses filled with highly symbolic foods.

The Chinese word for fish is yu, which sounds like the word for plenty, so a whole fish would be served as a wish for abundance. Another example is including fish roe in soup or as garnish is a symbol of fertility.

Even in modern Chinese weddings, the couples can take great liberty with choosing a Western-style ceremony, but the banquet remains a heavily-traditional affair out of respect for their parents and families.

Paying it forward

Banquet guests sign their names in a book when they arrive, and give red envelopes to the attendants. The attendant opens the envelope, counts the money and records the information in the book so the newlyweds know how much each guest gave.

This also holds a double-purpose as it is tradition in China that when the newlyweds are later invited to the weddings of their guests, they will be expected to gift them a higher sum of money than they were given.

Costume changes

Chinese brides are among the luckiest in that they are expected to wear several dresses throughout the course of their wedding ceremony and banquet.

Most Chinese brides will wear a traditional qipao dress, but can also wear a Western-style white wedding dress, and maybe one or two other gowns if they choose to.

Brides may change outfits between the ceremony and the banquet and then often change multiple times during the course of the dinner festivities.

After the wedding

The day after the banquet, the bride is formally introduced to the groom's relatives and friends. She will kneel in front of each of her new husband's older relatives and receive a gift from each of them before she is given a title that reflects the standing of her husband in the family.

Two days later, she will visit her parent's home as a guest, having been fully accepted into her husband's family.

Photographs

Modern Chinese couples prepare their wedding album before their wedding. They have photos taken around their city or at popular landmarks wearing a range of different outfits.

This album is displayed at the banquet for guests to enjoy. Traditionally, there are no photos of their wedding ceremony, however, this is quickly changing.

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An average of 10 million couples get married every year in China, creating an $80 billion industry. But despite the mind-boggling economics linked with Chinese weddings, they are still quite steeped in tradition.

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Baba Nyonya wedding, Peranaka, Chng Kek Em, Matchmaker, Bride, Groom, Penang, Chinese, Bridal Chamber, Baju panjang, Empress robe, Qing robe, Phoenix crown, silk, embroidery, sarong, Mansion, costume, jewellery, epergne

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chinese wedding dress in different dynasty

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Traditional Chinese Wedding Dress, Culture, Cloth in different Dynasty

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Introduction to clothing of traditional Chinese wedding: stuffs of dress & color, covering veil, shoes, & wedding dress in Zhou, Tang, Ming dynasties

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Kadazan Wedding Ceremony and Reception of Rod and Jojo

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Kadazan Traditional Wedding " Piahanan Pinisi " by Inai Evelyn Ebin

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Not so long ago, the Kadazans arranged marriages, and weddings were a simple affair. Gundohing Dousia, the present Keeper of Skulls and 6th direct descendant of Monsopiad remembers well the olden times. To us 'modernised' citizens, an arranged marriage is maybe the most curious, and perhaps the least understood aspect of the life of so many peoples around the world. Concerning the Kadazans, Dousia explains that "in the olden days, the children had great respect towards their parents, so they would accept their choice. More, they did not have the money, or the dowry required to get married. They were completely dependent on their parents. If someone wished to get married to the partner of his choice, but his parents would not approve, how was he to come up with required dowry?" Thus, the preliminaries to a Kadazan wedding always started with the parents of a young man visiting the family of a prospective bride. The father of the young man would open the talks along these lines: "I have a strong and good son who needs a wife, and I see that you have nice daughters. I would like you to marry one of your daughters to my son." The parents of the girl were then left to consider. They might visit the family proposing to get a better picture of their future son-in-law, and, more importantly, they would see if the family was able to come up with the required nopung, the dowry (literally: the [items] sent).

When the family of the daughter shows that they are agreeable to a union, the parents of the young man pay them a second visit and the engagement is arranged. Both parties agree to the bride price, which customarily consists of 15 buffaloes, 10 ancient brass canons, 3 large, Chinese jars and one brass gong. The parents of the future bride will first ask for a higher price, and bargaining is expected. As a matter of fact, if the proposed dowry is accepted without negotiations, the family of the young man might be considered snob; and if there is too much bargaining, the family of the bride-to-be might start worrying about payment! When both parties agree on the nopung, they need to agree on the 'terms of payment', and it can be agreed that the dowry is paid in instalments over a certain period of time, or that some of the items are substituted with money. "Traditionally," Dousia explains, "a buffalo was counted ten Ringgits, and a canon 15 Ringgits. But that was a long time ago," he muses, "nowadays, ten Ringgits are at least 500! And while jars, buffaloes and canons can be substituted with money, at least two buffaloes must not be converted into cash money; they are needed for the wedding feast," he added.

Once the nopung is agreed upon and all terms of payment settled, a date for the actual wedding day is chosen. It must be an auspicious day, whereby the moon calendar plays an important role. Any month is good for a wedding, except March when the cemeteries are being cleaned and ancestors remembered, and the fasting month of the Malays. The Kadazans have always been in contact with the Malay populations along the coast, and being friends, they would not suffer them to be excluded them from the weddings of their children. When all the details for the wedding are settled, from bride price to date, food will be served. In the evening the parents of the man go home, and on their journey they will look out for omens. If the either of the parents falls ill right after eating, or a branch falls from a tree, amongst others, the date for the wedding has to be cancelled. New negotiations have to be entered to schedule a fresh date for an auspicious wedding day.

If no bad omens are encountered, and the parents reach home without further incident, the wedding is usually held about a month after the engagement. In most cases, neither bride nor groom know each other more than from meeting in the market, or in the fields working, if at all.

About a week before the wedding, two friends or relatives of the families go around and invite people to the nuptials. The wedding day starts early in the morning in the house of the groom where all friends and relatives gather. They have a late 'breakfast', and generally around midday they set out, with the groom in his best fineries and the nopung in their middle, for the house of the bride. More often than not, the parents of the groom will stay in their house. When the congregation approaches the house of the bride, joyous Sumazau beats will be sound on ancient gongs. The groom and his entourage enter the house of the bride, presenting the nopung. Everyone is served rice and drinks before the young husband can take his bride to his parents' home. This time, the parents of the bride might stay at their home, and not join the wedding ceremony proper, held at the young man's house.

When the congregation arrives at the house of the groom, gongs are sounded again, inviting everybody who hears them to witness the union. Before the wedding couple enters the house, a village elder, often a Bobohizan, a ritual specialist, asks the bride and groom to put one foot on a round stone at the bottom of the staircase. While the couple is standing there, siung, conical hats are held above the man and the lady. Both the stone and the hat are symbols for their marriage: it shall be strong and long-lasting, like stone, while the hats at a time purify them from all evil and shield evil that might be around on the wedding day. Only after this short ceremony, during which the ritual specialist speaks a few Kadazan charms, the couple and the congregation can enter the house.

The wedding couple is seated in the centre of the house, the bride to the left of the groom, and again rice will be served. This time, the rice must be served from a kuali, or a wok, in order that there will be always enough rice for the couple to eat. Bride and groom are given a ball of rice each, which they have to feed each other. The ball of rice symbolises that the two young people are of different blood, which is now to be unified. Only after this symbolic unification can the congregation be served from the communal kuali. Bride and groom are given a chicken drumstick, as the groom cannot eat from the buffaloes slaughtered for the feast. It would be improper for the groom to eat from his own present to the bride's family! Moreover, if he should eat from the buffaloes, the couple might not be able to have children.

It is now time for eating. Relatives of both partners have joined in the preparations of the feast, because many guest are expected, the house is open to all. The guest are not required to bring any presents, but they must join the Sumazau dancing and general merry making, which includes drinking - during a wedding, rice-wine flows liberally... Before nightfall, the freshly married couple heads back to the house of the bride's parents where a room has been prepared for them. The custom requires that the newlyweds spend their first night with the parents-in-law of the groom. There are many taboos to be observed on this first night. The couple must not bathe for they would become vulnerable to evil-intended attacks, and wash away all the good luck the visitors brought! Equally, the couple is not allowed wander outside, not even to set foot on soil for that first night; or the children born to the couple would be ill with skin diseases or walk away from home.

The next day, the young husband takes his bride to his parents' home, where they will stay until the young man has built his own house for him and his wife. Traditionally three months after the wedding the young man visits his parents-in-law, bringing with him a pig. It will be slaughtered ceremonially and eaten by the whole family, signifying that they are from now on blood-relatives.

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Not so long ago, the Kadazans arranged marriages, and weddings were a simple affair. Gundohing Dousia, the present Keeper of Skulls and 6th direct descendant of Monsopiad remembers well the olden times. To us 'modernised' citizens, an arranged marriage is maybe the most curious, and perhaps the least understood aspect of the life of so many peoples around the world.

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Kadazandusun wedding - Download as a PDF or view online for free

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Kadazan traditional dress is made of black velvet with golden trimmings. Having so many different tribes in Sabah, North Borneo ignite the creativity of each seamstress. It is an old saying, a Kadazan girl is never complete without her tribal dress, she will either wear them on her wedding day, and pass it on as family heirloom to the eldest daughter or if she has no daughter, she will eventually clothed in her Kadazan dress on her funeral day.

To say I am proud to call myself a Kadazan girl is an understatement. That is why it always important for me to own one, so when the date was set for my wedding. This is the most important project in my list. Like way up there! But it is a challenge to find a really good seamstress who knew what we wanted on the dress. There are no short of tailor in Sabah but it takes a really good seamstress who understand the making of a Kadazan dress. It took me awhile to find a genuine Kadazan dress to refer to, as I mention earlier, Sabah has many Kadazan tribes. Each one of them has different motives on their dresses. My mom came from Membakut, a district in the west coast of Sabah about 50km from KK town, while my dad was from Putatan, Penampang. So I have two patterns to choose from. Kadazan dress from Penampang was a sleeveless top with long tube skirt. Adorn with red and gold trimmings. The ones from Membakut has more elaborate design. I fell in love with them the moment I saw it.

It was a struggle to find a seamstress to make my wedding dress. I finally found one a ways away from KK, the small town of Tuaran. The lady has been making Kadazan traditional dress all her lives, in additional for that, she handmade the motives onto the dress. She also used the original high quality beads and sequins as oppose to all those cheap low grades sold on the market.

Now let's talk about the interesting part, The DRESS:

Each colors and motives on the dress brought different meaning to the tribe.
means bravery;
Gold means prosperity; and
Green means bountiful harvest.

I bought my own trimmings, buttons, bells, sequin and accessories to the making of the dress. I love the way the sequin glitter in different shade of light, make it worthy of a wedding dress. Although the dress has the basic Kadazan Membakut colors and by retaining the motives, both the seamstress and I came out the winner, putting together wonderful design and produce the Kadazan wedding dress of my dream.

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Kadazan traditional dress is made of black velvet with golden trimmings. Having so many different tribes in Sabah, North Borneo ignite the creativity of each seamstress.

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Malaysian weddings are diverse, unique and colourful affairs, as is to be expected in a country that is a melting pot of cultures and faiths. Generally speaking, wedding customs in Malaysia are determined based on the couple's race, religion or both. As a large percentage of Malaysians are Malays, and given that Malaysia's constitution provides that all Malays are to be Muslims, Malay weddings are typically steeped in Malay traditions and solemnised according to the tenets of Islam.

On the other hand, Chinese wedding customs are diverse as there are many different sub-ethnic groups such as the Cantonese, Hokkiens, Hakkas and Peranakan Cina (Baba Nyonyas). Coupled with the different religions practised by Malaysian Chinese, there are numerous options of wedding rites and customs to choose from. The Chinese wedding may or may not include religious aspects but traditional Chinese rites are usually observed. Chinese Christians may include a church ceremony as part of their wedding while those who are Buddhists or Taoists may include a blessing ceremony at the temple.

Malaysians of Indian descent usually opt for weddings based on their religion, whether it is Hinduism, Christianity, Buddhism or Islam, as well as the sub-ethnic group they belong to. Hindu Indians usually incorporate a blessing and solemnisation ceremony at the temple while Christian Indians normally include a church ceremony as part of their wedding.

The sheer number of possible permutations based on ethnicity, sub-ethnicity, religious beliefs and personal preference results in a variety of wedding customs unlike anywhere else in the world. Some of the most unique Malaysian weddings are interracial marriages which are a fusion of the cultures and customs of the happy couple, resulting in a one-of-a-kind wedding where love and respect matter more than faith, colour or race.

No matter what race or religion, these are the elements that are usually present when a Malaysian couple gets married.

1. Proposal

2. Engagement ceremony

3. Marriage registration

4. Religious rites to solemnise the union

5. Wedding rites

6. Wedding celebration

The Malay wedding usually starts off with the merisik ceremony (loosely translated as 'to investigate') when the groom's family pay a visit to the potential bride's family to state their intention of marriage. When both parties are happy with the potential union of the bride and groom, the next step takes place.

Once both families have reached an agreement for marriage, representatives from the groom's family visit the bride's family to discuss the meminang (engagement) ceremony. During the visit, a number of matters are also discussed including:

The date and time for the meminang ceremony

The amount the groom will pay for the wedding expenses

The gifts that will be exchanged

The date and time of the wedding and reception

On the day of the meminang ceremony, the groom will bring a set of gifts ( hantaran) for the bride which usually includes a gold or diamond ring, a betel leaf container with betel leaves, a set of new clothes, a shawl, fruits or foods, a handbag and a pair of shoes. These gifts, with the exception of the ring, are then presented to the bride on an odd number of trays. The ring is then placed on the bride's finger by her older sister or the groom's aunt.

She will then return the trays with gifts for her future husband which will include a songkok (traditional hat), a prayer mat and a set of clothes. During the ceremony, the bride and groom are represented by relatives, whom they have carefully selected, to determine the date for the akad nikah (wedding) ceremony.

This is the spiritual aspect of the wedding ceremony and is usually performed by a religious official, who ensures that the marriage is consensual. At times, this ceremony may also be performed by the bride's father in the presence of a religious official. Two official witnesses must also be present. Thereafter, a marriage certificate is issued by the religious representatives of the state, which is signed by the bride, the groom and both witnesses.

Bersanding

The bersanding ceremony is the highlight of the Malay wedding. On the day of the bersanding, the groom is not allowed to enter the bride's house until she sends him a prepared betel leaf, which is a sign that she is ready for his arrival. The groom then makes his way to the bride's house with his procession, including his female relatives and musicians playing various drums.

The arrival of the groom is followed by a pencak silat (traditional Malay martial arts) performance, which is a sign of welcome for the groom. After the performance, the bride and groom are seated on a decorated dais, very much like how a king and queen sit on their thrones. Hence, it is common for the wedded couple to be called " Raja Sehari " or "King for a Day".

The couple are then blessed by members of both families with rose water, henna, sandalwood paste and rice flour paste. After receiving their blessings, the couple makes their way to the foyer or garden for the reception and to meet well-wishers.

A Christian wedding ceremony takes place in a church and is presided over by the priest or pastor. The ceremony starts with the bridal march where the bride walks in to the church on the arm of her father (or mother), preceded by her bridal procession. The bridal march is usually accompanied by music of the couple's choice and the bridal procession may include ring bearers, flower girls, the maid of honour (usually someone who is married) and bridesmaids.

Introductory Rites

The priest or pastor starts by welcoming members of the congregation and then proceeds with a session of praise and worship. A short sharing or sermon usually follows and may include advice on how to have a meaningful marriage and how to walk the spiritual path together as a couple.

Solemnisation and Exchange of Rings

The priest or pastor presides over the solemnisation ceremony in the presence of the congregation and two witnesses. The couple exchange their vows which includes vows to be true to each other in good and bad times. The rings are then blessed and one is given to the groom to place on the bride's finger. The other is given to the bride to place on the groom's finger. While exchanging the rings, the couple declares their love and fidelity.

Recessional

The service continues with the concluding prayer and nuptial blessings for the couple's well-being. After this, the bride and groom usually sign the marriage register and then proceed out of the church with their entourage. There may be a celebratory reception after the church service.

Buddhist weddings in Malaysia are normally associated with Chinese weddings although a Chinese wedding may not always be a Buddhist one. Couples usually register their marriage before the actual wedding and reception, which can be held at a later date. Weddings are a big deal in the Chinese community and couples go to great lengths in order to have a perfect wedding.

The Chinese wedding ceremony usually consists of two parts - the tea ceremony and the reception. Before the tea ceremony, the groom and his groomsmen make their way to the bride's house. Upon arrival, the groom is not allowed in by the bridesmaids until his groomsmen perform some stunts or tricks while giving out traditional red packets of money ( angpow) to the bridesmaids as a form of "payment" for the groom to get to the bride. Once the bridesmaids are happy with the payments, they will allow the groom into the bride's room.

Tea Ceremony

The groom and the bride then make their way back to his house for the tea ceremony. During the tea ceremony, the couple serves tea to the groom's parents, and then to the rest of the family beginning with the oldest member and ending with the youngest member. This usually applies to married relatives. After each person is served tea, the couple receives a red packet of money from them or jewellery.

When the couple has served tea to all the elders, they then take a seat for the younger, unmarried siblings and relatives to serve tea to them. After sipping the tea, the newlyweds will give an angpow to those who served them, denoting their new status as an elder. The bride and groom then return to the bride's home for another tea ceremony with the bride's parents and relatives.

Traditionally, the tea ceremony served as a marriage rite to validate the union. Prior to 1982, this customary marriage rite was sufficient to declare the union legal. However, after 1982, all marriages had to be registered with the National Registration Department to be considered legal.

After the tea ceremony, some couples visit the temple to pray for a blissful wedded life or to have a Buddhist wedding ceremony.

Kechara's Marriage Ceremony

At Kechara House, the Buddhist marriage ceremony begins with the bride and groom being ushered to a private room where a Buddhist pastor performs their registration of marriage. After signing the marriage certificate, the couple recites vows composed by Kechara's spiritual guide, H.E. the 25 th Tsem Rinpoche. They then exchange rings.

Wedding Vows Composed by H.E. Tsem Rinpoche

1. I will be faithful to you.

2. I will support you in all difficulties.

3. I will improve my weak points for you.

4. I will defend you.

5. I will respect your beliefs.

6. I will share what I have with you.

7. I make this promise to you.

After being pronounced husband and wife, the couple then goes to the main prayer hall where they are blessed by a pastor. The bride and groom can also offer candles and other items to the Buddhas such as incense, flowers, fruit, precious stones and monk robes.

To celebrate the marriage, a wedding reception or banquet is usually held after all rites and formalities are concluded. A typical Chinese wedding customarily includes loud toasts to the couple's wedded bliss and a sumptuous nine-course banquet.

There are 11 different Indian sub-ethnic groups in Malaysia with Tamils being the largest. As such, there is no single standard Hindu wedding. In general, a Hindu wedding in Malaysia will consist of these three important ceremonies.

1. Kanyadaan: Giving away of the bride

2. Panigrahana: A sacred fire ritual where the groom takes the hand of the bride as the sign of their union

3. Saptapadi: The most important ritual called the seven-step ritual, where each step corresponds to a vow the groom makes to the bride, and a vow the bride makes to the groom.

After Saptapadi, the couple officially becomes husband and wife in accordance with Hindu tradition.

Graha Shanti, Mehendi and Bangles Ceremony

During this ceremony, the Hindu bride is beautifully dressed and adorned with haldi, a turmeric-based herbal paste believed to purify the body, mind and spirit in preparation for the wedding day. Haldi also signifies protection in some Indian communities.

Next, the bride's hands and feet are adorned with henna designs in the Mehendi ceremony. It is believed that the deeper the colour of the henna, the deeper the couple's love will be in the future.

The bride is then presented with a set of colourful jewellery and bangles by the groom's family. The bangles are blessed by a priest during the Bangles Ceremony. A Ganesh puja is performed to invoke the blessings of Lord Ganesha so that he removes any obstacles that may arise during the marriage ceremony. Other pujas are also performed dedicated to the couple's happy married life.

Arrival of the Groom

On the wedding day, the groom and his entourage arrive with plenty of fanfare and they are greeted by the bride's family and friends. The groom is then anointed on the forehead with a tilak (a vermillion paste traditionally used during special occasions) and a garland of flowers is placed around his neck. Next, the bride walks in with her entourage and she joins the groom for the subsequent marriage rites.

During the Kanyadan ceremony, the father of the bride places her hand on the groom's hand, symbolising him giving her hand in marriage. The bride's mother then pours water into the bride's father's hand, who is holding a gold coin to symbolise his daughter. The groom accepts the coin and then hands it to his parents as a sign of them welcoming her into their family.

The next ritual is the highlight of a Hindu wedding - tying the thali. The groom ties the thali, a gold necklace that has been blessed by a Hindu priest, around the bride's neck as a symbol of eternal love. It marks the start of their life together as man and wife.

Panigrahana

The Panigrahana ritual, meaning clasping of the hand, originated from an ancient Vedic gesture of friendship. It reminds us that a marriage is, in essence, a special kind of friendship.

In this ritual, the groom holds the bride's hands before taking a vow that he will be responsible for protecting and caring for her. This ceremony takes place in front of the sacred fire that symbolises knowledge and power.

This ritual requires the couple to take seven steps around the sacred fire, led by the groom. As they walk around the sacred fire, the groom recites the seven marital vows:

1. To love and be faithful to each other

2. To treat each other's families as their own

3. To share joys and sorrows

4. To care for children

5. To cherish each other and continuously strengthen their love

6. To support each other's goals

7. To remain lifelong friends

Upon completion of the Panigrahana and Saptapadi rituals, the couple are now officially husband and wife. Family and friends then take turns to offer their blessings to the newlyweds in a ritual called ashirvad.

In the olden days, the Baba Nyonya wedding was a very elaborate affair lasting 12 days. It is said that the status of a Baba family can be measured by how grand the family wedding is. These days however, the Baba Nyonya wedding has been condensed to a more modern and practical version that still retains its colourful and meaningful heritage, rites and customs.

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Sang Jit and Lap Chai

The pre-nuptial ceremony, Sang Jit, is the presentation of the birth certificates of both the bride and groom. This stems from the matchmaking tradition of yesteryears when it was imperative to find a good match in order to have a long and happy marriage. The pair's Chinese date and time of birth are given to a qualified geomancer who will do some calculations and consult the Buku Pek Ji, which is Ba Zi, to ascertain if the pair is a good match. If they are, the Lap Chai ceremony follows.

The Lap Chai ceremony usually takes place a few days before the wedding. On this day, the groom together with his entourage will visit the bride's family bearing gifts which includes two bottles of liquor, a set of jewellery, clothes, shoes, a pair of dragon and phoenix candles, Pek Kim (the dowry), Wang Tetek (a monetary token to the bride's mother for breastfeeding her), wedding cakes and pork trotters (to denote the bride's virginity). In return, the bride's family reciprocates with gifts such as a pair of red candles, juices, clothes and some food items.

After the Lap Chai ceremony, both families gather at the couple's new home to set up their bridal chamber. This ceremony is known as Ann Chng.

The most important ceremony in a Baba Nyonya wedding is Cheo Thau, also known as the hair-combing ceremony. This is a significant rite of passage marking the transition from a Nyonya girl to a woman ready for the next milestone of her life - marriage. This lengthy ceremony has many meaningful rituals beginning with Naik Sanggol (combing the hair into an elaborate wedding hairdo complete with exquisite adornments and jewellery) to the donning of the traditional seven-layer wedding costume.

Prior to the Cheo Thau ceremony, the bride's family performs the Pasang Lilin which is a prayer ritual of lighting candles at an elaborate altar called the Sam Kai, complete with richly embroidered tablecloths, Chanab (offerings handmade from flowers and fruits), bowls of fresh fruit, sugarcane, dried fruit, red dates and rock sugar, all decorated with intricate Chinese red paper cuttings. Once everyone has offered prayers to the God of Heaven and the ancestors, the bride then kneels and pays homage ( sohjah) to her parents as a mark of respect.

This ceremony is presided over by a Sang Kek Em, a mistress of ceremonies who is familiar with all the rituals. A black veil is placed over the bride's face at the conclusion of Cheo Thau and she then sits to wait for her groom.

Chim Pang and Chia Sia

The groom and his representatives arrive in a grand procession complete with a band playing traditional wedding music and men carrying auspicious lanterns. The Chim Pang ceremony then follows where the couple meets for the first time and the groom proceeds to unveil the bride. The couple is then served tea and sweet dumplings ( kueh ee), symbolising a sweet and lasting marriage.

Next, the Chia Sia ceremony takes place in the bride's room with all the guests present. The purpose of this ceremony is for the guests to make the bride laugh. If they succeed in making her laugh uncontrollably, the groom will then have to pay for everyone's dinner. After this, and to signify the end of the ceremony, a rooster and hen are released under the couple's bed. If the rooster emerges first, it's a sign that the couple's firstborn will be a boy.

Sohjah Tiga Hari

Although traditionally performed on the third day of the wedding, these days the Sohjah Tiga Hari ceremony is performed on the wedding day itself. During this ceremony, the couple pays their respects to their parents and the elders of the family by serving sweet tea according to the family hierarchy. In return, they will be given a red packet with money.

Once this is concluded, the couple is officially man and wife and it is time for a wedding feast called Makan Tok Panjang. In the olden days, the wedding banquet, consisting of many delicacies, was usually served on long tables and in the Baba patois, tok panjang means "long table". The wedding festivities continue with music, joget (traditional Baba Nyonya dance of Malay origins) and Dondang Sayang, an art form where poems are sung to the signature Dondang Sayang tune.

Buang Suara

A chetti wedding kicks off when a representative from the groom's family visits the bride's family to ask for her hand in marriage.

Once the union has been agreed upon, the next ceremony - sandanggu - takes place. During this ceremony, the bride is covered in a turmeric paste and bathed. This symbolises her purity before she enters into marriage. Thereafter, she is dressed in a traditional baju kebaya and a decorative hairpiece known as cucuk sanggul is pinned on her bun to symbolise that she is now a woman and ready for marriage.

Once the bride is dressed, a Hindu priest and five married women take turns to bless her. They wave their hands around her while holding a number of objects - rose water, dried cow dung, a pot of water, rice, a pestle, bread, a local sweet cake known as putu piring and an oil lamp. Once the ceremony has concluded, the bride eats the putu piring.

Tukar Cincin

As the groom makes his way to the bride's house for the engagement proper, he is accompanied by an entourage bearing seven trays on which are betel leaves, rose water, dried fragrant flower petals, rock sugar, a saree and bangles, jasmine flowers, fruits and an old coconut covered with turmeric.

The bride wears the saree that is presented to her and afterwards, the groom hands over the dowry ( Duit Tetek) to the bride's mother while gold jewellery is given to the bride. A Hindu priest usually presides over the ceremony. Once the bride and groom exchange rings, the ceremony is officially over. The newly-engaged couple then seek the blessings of the elders of both families.

Hantar Sirih Kuil

In the olden days, a pair of sirih pinang (betel nut set) were sent to family and friends as an invitation to the upcoming nuptials. These days, flower garlands, rose water, fruits, old coconuts, the wedding invitation card and sirih pinang are presented to the committee of the Chetti temple for blessings along with archanai or offerings made on behalf of the groom. After the blessings, wedding invitations are distributed to the bride and groom's family and friends.

Prior to commencing any preparations for the wedding proper, a branch of the kalyana murunga, translated as "wedding tree", is planted in front of the house.

Sembahyang Thali

The wedding thali is first bathed in milk and blessed by family members, along with the wedding clothes. A thali or mangalasutram is a necklace given by the groom to the bride carrying the same significance as a wedding ring. Once the prayers are completed, married women of the family help with the berinai - the couple get their fingertips and toes covered with freshly made henna paste.

Hari Kahwin

On the actual wedding day, the bride and groom walk from their respective homes to the temple, accompanied by family members, an entourage of musicians, kompang and bunga manggar. After a visit to the temple, the newly-weds join family, relatives and friends for a feast before being escorted back to the groom's house.

Mandi Mandi

In the fun-filled mandi mandi, family members followed by the entire community present take turns to bathe the couple with air bunga (water scented with flowers). A Chetti wedding celebration is not complete without joget (a local folk dance) and Dondang Sayang, where impromptu verses of poetry are sung to traditional music.

There are 18 different Orang Asli ethnic groups in Malaysia, each with its own unique language, lifestyle and customs. Marriage for the Orang Asli is a very casual affair and the wedding ceremony differs from tribe to tribe. Some groups do not even have a "formal" wedding ceremony as the couple is considered married once they start sleeping or living together.

These days, many Orang Asli have assimilated the wedding customs of other ethnic groups that live near their villages. Furthermore, with the introduction of Islam and Christianity, religious rites have replaced traditional animistic rituals.

Below are the wedding customs of the Semai tribe, the largest Orang Asli ethnic group in Peninsular Malaysia. For the Semai, the courtship and prenuptial rituals are just as significant as the actual wedding itself.

Mencari Jodoh

This is the stage where a young male Orang Asli of marrying age searches for a suitable lady as his life partner. The male Orang Asli travels to other villages to seek his bride. In the olden days, Orang Asli villages were far apart and it took four to six days to travel from one village to another on foot.

Once he finds a suitable candidate, he will spend the night at his future bride's house. His presence and intentions are usually understood by the head of the bride's family, who then proceeds to the next stage.

At dusk, the father or head of the family will request his daughter to place a mat beside her bed. The potential groom will then be invited by the father to choose his resting place for the night. Should he wish to marry her, he will choose the mat or sleeping place set out by the potential bride. However, if he chooses not to marry her, he will opt to sleep in the living room.

Should there be more than one daughter of marrying age in the house, the father will have them all lay out mats at their respective beds and the young suitor will indicate his preference by sleeping on the mat laid out by the maiden of his choice. Once the couple has spent the night together, they are deemed husband and wife by the community.

It is common for couples to choose not to have any celebration or "formal" wedding and just continue to live as husband and wife with either the wife's or husband's family.

Should there be a wedding ceremony, the pre-nuptials begin with merisik. During the merisik ceremony, both sets of parents discuss the wedding arrangements with the bride and groom.

Once they have reached an agreement, they will meet with the village head ( Tuk Penghulu) to seek his blessings and request his agreement to preside over the wedding. The Tuk Penghulu will also give the bride and groom advice and guidance on married life.

In this betrothal ceremony, the groom-to-be sends gifts to the bride-to-be, which includes her wedding attire ( salin tiga), a dowry of RM60.25 ( belanja tubuh), a head scarf ( selendang), a silver ring ( cincin perak) and a betel nut set ( sirih pinang). The betel nut set is used during the wedding discussions.

Tanggung Nafkah

While they are engaged, it is customary for the groom-to-be to give his future wife an "allowance", which can be cash (RM15 per month) or groceries sent directly to the bride's home.

During the engagement period, the groom brings gifts that will be used during their wedding such as a set of bedding, a wedding gown and shoes. At this stage, the groom will also start preparing his own wedding attire which includes a black songkok (traditional Malay headgear), kain selempang dada/selendang (a sash-like cloth worn across the chest), and baju melayu (traditional formal attire for Malay men) complete with sampin and shoes.

Hari Perkahwinan

Before the bersanding ceremony, which is usually the highlight of the wedding, the couple undergoes many customary rituals to ward off unwanted bad luck that may jeopardise the wedding. These rituals include henna painting, a haircut for the groom, and a mandatory lime bath. During the preparation of the lime bath, protective spells to ward off misfortune are infused into the bath water through special rituals. Once these preliminary rites are completed, the couple puts on their wedding attire which includes traditional headgear made from nipah leaves.

Istiadat Berarak

This is the bridal procession where the groom and his entourage make their way to the bride's home. Should the groom be the son of the village head, he will be carried on a sedan chair. A musical troupe accompanies the groom's entourage and this colourful lively procession also includes poetry recitations ( berbalas pantun).

Merenjis/Menabur

Traditionally, the top corner of the bride's main door will be decorated with banana leaves. Upon his arrival, the groom performs the merenjis ritual before entering the bride's home. He sprinkles some water on the banana leaves and tosses some rice puffs. The bride's side of the family welcomes the groom by saying " Selamat datang " three times.

Memohon Tanda

The entrance to the bride's room is draped with a curtain as a symbolic barrier. Before the groom is granted permission to see his bride, he must pass Mas Wali (the bride's eldest representative) and his/her group. Mas Wali will first mohon tanda (request for signs) before admitting the groom into the bridal chamber. This may be in the form of pantun or Malay poems. Permission to enter is only granted after three rounds of mohon tanda.

Ibu Wali (the groom's oldest representative) and his/her group then presents the groom with a keris (traditional Malay dagger) signifying that he is the correct groom. In a Semai tribal wedding, the couple's parents rarely have significant ceremonial roles as these are the responsibility of the four oldest family members, usually the grandparents or grandparents' siblings, who act as representatives ( wali) of the bride and groom.

Bersanding

Once the curtain is drawn, the groom and his entourage make their way onto the wedding dais and the groom is seated on the right of the bride. The ceremonies of Istiadat Menyuap Nasi Kunyit/Nasi Damai, where the couple feed each other with turmeric-flavoured rice - their first official meal as a couple, and Makan Daun Sirih (chewing betel nuts) will then commence, witnessed by the bridal couple's closest family members and representatives.

Lastly, the couple pays their respects to their parents, in-laws and other family members in the menyembah ceremony. Thereafter, it is customary to perform the ceremony known as membentang belanja dalam adat, where the dowry and monetary gifts are presented including:

Belanja hangus (RM100) and belanja tambahan kenduri (an amount for the wedding banquet)

Belanja tubuh 60 tengah 3, dalam adat atau kering which is essentially the dowry to the bride. Dalam adat means that half the dowry is presented while kering means that the full dowry is given.

During this ceremony, advice and guidance on married life is given to the newlyweds by the person presiding over the proceedings, usually the Tuk Penghulu. Once this is concluded, the couple is deemed husband and wife according to Semai customs.

The nanya indu or engagement ceremony is the first part of the Iban wedding, where the groom and his entourage usually enter the bride's house with much fanfare and amidst tawak (gong beats) to ask her parents for her hand in marriage. This is done in the presence of his parents and her relatives.

Once the bride's parents have given their consent, the two families discuss important matters such as the size of the wedding and where the couple will live after getting married.

Melah Pinang

One of the most important ceremonies of the Iban wedding is the melah pinang, during which the bride and groom are dressed in traditional Iban garb. The groom wears a woven loincloth, an animal-skin vest, silver armlets, a belt and a woven hat of hornbill and pheasant feathers and goat fur. Meanwhile, the bride wears a woven skirt adorned with silver coins, tiny brass bells, a silver and rattan corset, a beaded collar, silver bangles, armlets and anklets. Her outfit is completed with a silver headpiece that is secured with silver hairpins.

The ceremony is carried out with the bride and groom seated on a gong and draped with a pua kumbu, a colourful ceremonial cloth. An Iban priest, known as the lemambang, blesses the couple by sacrificing a white rooster. This is followed by a blessing ceremony and the rooster is then placed on a receptacle as an offering.

Thereafter, the couple exchange pua kumbu and a woven skirt is gifted to the bride. To conclude the ceremony, a betel nut is placed on the pua kumbu and chopped in half. If one side faces up and the other faces down, it is a good omen.

The Kadazan wedding starts with the merisik process where the parents of the groom visit the family of the bride. The groom's father usually begins the conversation by saying that he has a son of marriageable age. He then proceeds to say that he would like to have his son married to the prospective bride.

Once the bride's parents accept the proposal, they will visit the groom's family to get to know the groom better and to gauge whether his family is able to afford the dowry. After this visit and once both parties agree for the couple to be wed, the groom's family makes a second visit to the bride's family to discuss the wedding preparations.

The dowry for the bride usually consists of 15 buffaloes, 10 brass cannons, 3 large Chinese jars and a brass gong. If the bride's parents want more, then negotiations will take place. Once both parties have come to an agreement, they will discuss the terms of payment, whether the dowry will be paid in instalments or substituted with money for some objects. While everything else can be paid for with cash, two buffaloes cannot be substituted for cash.

The Ceremony

On the day of their wedding, the couple sits in the middle of the house and they are served rice, which must be from a wok to symbolise that they will always have enough. Then, the bride and groom are each given a rice ball, which they must feed to each other. This act symbolises their unification as husband and wife.

Once this is done, the guests are then served from the communal work. The bride and groom are also given chicken drumsticks to eat as the groom is not allowed to eat the meat from the buffalo that was slaughtered for the feast for fear he will not be able to father children.

The day after the wedding, the groom takes his bride to his parents' home where they will stay until they can afford to move out to their own house. Three months after the wedding, the groom visits his in-laws, bringing with him a pig which will be ceremoniously slaughtered and eaten by the whole family. This is to signify that they are now blood relatives.

References:

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Malaysian weddings are diverse, unique and colourful affairs, as is to be expected in a country that is a melting pot of cultures and faiths. Generally speaking, wedding customs in Malaysia are determined based on the couple's race, religion or both.