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Being an ambivert and emotional type of woman, there were lots of lies that I often told my inner self. Those "I can do this", "I am okay" and "Laban lng" were some of the instances of my lies though, I considered those such as a white lies because, the more I speak about it, there's something that forces me to unhide the barricade. I believe that these actions are just the response of our cognitive and physical development. Specifically, if we're experiencing variety of challenges, we seem to develop a deep emotion and then right after it will impair our decision making. Likewise, are the disappointments as regards on my last academic year. I've always told myself to conquer everything even if it gets really tough, but all my hardships turned out very useless. That's the time where I burst out all my emotions and cried a lot without hearing any loud. Nonetheless, the act of telling something flowery or fallacious things toward ourselves serves as our companion or comforter, where we are enable to filter what is going on or alleviate the real phenomena that is happening.

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When someone asks me "Are you okay?", I always say "Yeah, I'm good." I'm okay, don't worry. "It has become a habit of mine to tell them the opposite of what I'm feeling. Put a big smile on my face, even if my disappointments seem to choke me and vines with their vicious torns grip my heart. They are piling up, stabbing me straight in the heart. But I'm okay, I tell myself. I should be okay, right?

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Most of the time, it’s a lie we're telling ourselves because the challenges are enormous, or we feel like life is way too tough to handle.

I've been saying and acting like I don't care especially when I failed on something. I show that I am unbothered about the things that I really cared about and it's the kind of lie I would always tell everybody, especially to myself. There's this feeling that I don't wanna show them my weaknesses and would always show them that I am strong enough to face all those downfalls all by myself. Meanwhile, I have learned that it's okay to show them them what we truly feel and I've realized that nobody is expecting us to be perfect and that's absolutely fine.

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Honestly speaking, I sometimes don't understand myself. I keep on telling her I'm brave, but the truth is not for I'm slowly drown with my weakness.

I'm crazy of saying these reasons, but this are the truth. I don't want myself to get worry too much. I don't want her to feel very weak. What I wanted is her to be really brave and could help me stand to flourish❤️

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I can even if I'm can't

Is it really me who doesn't want to disappoint my family or is it me who pushes myself even if I can't.
I know I'm brave, I know I never quit, but is this what I love, is this my passion, is this my happiness?
Sometimes I forgot about myself, and all I know is that there are different standards of people that I need to set.
I smile and make jokes to make people laugh, I tease others just to ease the pain inside me. Maybe I can do it physically but mentally I'm totally sick with this standards. There is always a question that I can't answer, I am making this for myself, or do I just want to fulfill others' happiness?
Hoping someday, I will find what makes me, me.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,”

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The lie I tell myself all the time is that I am ugly. I understand that everyone is beautiful in their own way, but I feel like my beauty falls short of a certain standard, which is why I constantly compare my appearance to other people to the point where I no longer feel comfortable in my own skin. When I looked in the mirror, the only thing I saw were my unflattering features. My flaccid nose, oily skin, full cheeks, and gummy smile. I don't even appreciate compliments anymore because it feels like the word UGLY is already engraved on my mind.

As of the moment, I'm gradually realizing the beauty that others see in me. I know it will take time for me to fully accept my distinctive features, but I am willing to wait for that day. The day when I could truly say, "I AM BEAUTIFUL IN MY OWN UNIQUE WAY."

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"I'm not tired," is probably the lie I'd tell myself.

I continue to push myself to achieve my absolute best so that everyone may be proud of me.

That they wouldn't sense or notice that I am the most vulnerable person they know.

Even though I'm tired of everything and my eyes are flushed with tears.

I'm doing my best to pretend everything is fine so they may be pleased of me.

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It’s too hard this is probably the most common and most annoying lie I tell myself. It prevents me from even trying to conquer a goal. ‘It’s too hard’ simply means I don’t have any faith for myself to at least give it a go. At the end of the day, what’s the point of that? Even if you fail, when you give something a go you increase your confidence in actually giving things a go. And you’ll do it again.

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I tell myself that "It's fine I'll grow at my own pace and
these societal standards are made by people, it doesn't define my overall hapiness"  ; but sometimes, I feel left  behind, looking at people who made a lot progress, those persons who seem to achieve things effortlessly , and them, being able to handle their lives well.

I know well that they certainly struggled more than what they show and more than what I think, sometimes I even witness the toil behind the sucess of people I'm closed with, yet despite all of it, it's hard to remove myself from the feelings of worthlesness, of being just a dust compared to their superb personalities, achievements and etc.

In the end, I just remind myself of my own success and rejoice in the  progress of other people. After all we are just humans living for the first and last time, sharing confusions, struggles, and emptiness brought by existence. All we need is compassion and a reminder of our humanity.

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I have been so insecure about my physical attributes. Sometimes I feel shy going out and socializing to people. I am afraid to be judge. I am just covering up all my insecurities, pretending to be okay when deep inside I am not.

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I have been so insecure about my physical attributes. Sometimes I feel shy going out and socializing to people. I am afraid to be judge. I am just covering up all my insecurities, pretending to be okay when deep inside I am not.

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I've been always telling myself that I'll get better on a skill if I just force myself to work on it for inhumane amounts of time. Turns out that it's false and only resulted to a burnout.

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I keep telling myself "I can do it all alone" even  though deep inside I'm drowning with tears and fears.

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A lie is a lie, but how does it possible that lies gives me comfort? Maybe, because I wanted to hear something that would give me peace and solace. Remembering the moments I lie to myself just to make me feel better, to convinced my inner self that I'm capable of doing something for the reason that no one gives me a pat on the back and a little push in anything I do. A lie to make your self thrive and make amends in doing what you can't do is not bad, it's just an encouragement for you to continue doing in burgeoning your goal. Be prompt, self that's the only way for you to grow and  win your triumph. Be just. Be bold even if you reside with the lies behind the truth.

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To the people who are insecure about their appearance, you feelings are very valid. You are not alone, I do feel insecure about my appearance from time to time but I never compare to what others has because of one scientific fact on why society preferred symmetrical faces as attractive.

It is believed that facial symmetry thinks that a person have 'great genes' which is a very vulgar concept and a petty reason that helps me to completely disregard any insecurities of my appearance. Although I train myself to say I'm ugly in case if people told me any mean things about my appearance I can take it myself and move on never giving them the gratification for them to lose the battle, of course this does not mean that I can completely unaffected by it, just lessening it significantly.

Instead of comparing it to other people, I'd rather focus to better myself because we are all one of a kind and never been the same because my inner demons, the condensed and built up trauma, stress, sadness and the mistakes in the past that haunts me are the things that led me to lie about myself often. Also the people whenever I trust them and shown my vulnerability, they always disregard it as 'overreacting'.

I always say to myself that, 'I'm fine, I am mentally and emotionally okay.', 'Crying won't solve your problems, got to work my butt off.' and 'My feelings are not really that valid, stop crying.'

This led me to people not really opening up and won't let them burden my problems and stuff but this year, I was blessed with friends who were more aware with mental and emotional health and are great listeners, which I am grateful for and you know who you all are. May your life is full of blessings. :))))

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What are the lies behind my truth? It is whenever I say "I don't care about them, and I don't care about my appearance" these are just BIG LIES I've been hiding deep inside of me. I may say all these, but the truth is I care, even if they hurt me, I still care, I got hurt even I wasn't at fault, my conscience even attacks every time I get angry for a long time at someone because they did something horrible to me. I may look confident about the way I look, but I have a lot of insecurities, I am insecure about everything in my body, I don't like my skin, my hair, my teeth, my toes, my fingers, I dislike almost everything in me.  Yes! I do say I love myself but I always keep looking and dreaming to be one of those girls they are comparing me with.

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Dear beloved,

Life can sometimes be tough but remember that you are tougher. You are strong. I know sometimes we lie that we are all good but deep inside we are dying. Hence, this padlet was created to let you know that it's okay to lie sometimes, it's okay to not be okay because that will help us grow, learn, and be better.

Feel free to share your thoughts. You are safe here.

Love,
K