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Don't forget to put your name at the top of your post so that you will get credit for completing the homework.

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Peggy DeGregory - I was raised, as most of us are, to be helpful toward others. It makes us feel good to help others that we see as "in need." Being the parent of a child that was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of 2, I saw people offering suggestions and advice that were meant to be helpful, but she found insulting. People don't mean to cause offense, they just act out of ignorance. Most of us see life from one perspective, our own. I am one of those people that likes to be helpful, but I was able to learn through raising my daughter, that being "helpful" doesn't isn't always the best choice, it doesn't promote independence and a sense of accomplishment for the person I am helping.

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I see you getting started already. So great to meet you all!

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Some Reflections on the Matthew Hall Video

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Some Reflections on the Matthew Hall Video

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Watch the video and post your reactions and reflections.

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Respect and Dignity, Intentions vs. Action

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Reflection on the video clip.
As I watched and listen to watch was said, I look back at when I was in high school and was trying to help people with disabilities. I would not have treated them the way I do now, but I was young and how much I have learned a grown over the past 20 years. I still have lots to learn be in the end everyone just wants to be treat and everyone else. Now I would ask if i could help, listen and watch, his tone of voice and body langue, to see what they, are needing. and if they say no then just let them on their way in the case of Matt. other times just might make a suggestion and let them think it over.

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This video is very valuable for people new to our industry. Understanding the difference between offering help, being truly helpful, and being patronizing requires knowledge of the person and your ability to put your ego aside and listen to people.

You must also commit yourself to learning,.... not confirming initial bias you brought with you. Many times people want to "confirm" what they already suspected about a person and that they find comfort in that. If the bar staff in the video were committed to learning and not confirming, 1 they would not have asked the same question like 9 times, and 2. they possibly would have made a friend if not a regular patron out of the individual (Matt) in the video.

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I understand how wanting to help anyone can be appealing to validate that one is good as Matt led on. Additionally, I agree with Matt that the important questions to ask oneself when offering assistance (especially to those with a visible disability) is why am I offering assistance, am I willing to accept no as an answer, and would I offer the same help to anyone else. With those questions in mind we can reflect on the intent of the offer and begin to understand our own underlying biases. While watching the video, I thought to myself that I would likely have offered some form of assistance to the individual as the bartender initially did. However, after the first request was denied I likely would have asked one more time before respecting the individual's choice and moving on. As professionals who assist people with disabilities full time we can not forget that not everyone with a disability is a client wishing to be served/assisted. We are all people first.

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I think that it's hard to take your own ideas out of a situation such as this. I think from working with individuals who have different disabilities, generally people want to help. I think that what Matthew pointed out is, does the person truly need assistance? After several attempts to let the bar people know he was perfectly fine, they discounted his statements for what they felt they knew. Listen and assess what your told, take out the distractions of what you think is happening. I thought it was a good effort to explain how even with the best of intentions you can offend those by mistake.

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Mike Merritt CL Brant
The video really made me reflect on the difference between a genuine inner want to help out against an outer feeling of needing to help out.  The perception that people have become their own individual reality in some cases.  Although the intent of the help in this case was likely genuine, I ask why it was genuine.  Did the staff approach every person who left their establishment after having dinner and drinks to make sure they got home safely?
The intent was well placed, but the assumption that because Matthew was Matthew, he would need help and that was not the case.
Respect, dignity and autonomy for everybody and listening to what the individual wants and needs, and as another person wrote, we are people first.

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I can relate to both sides of this conversation. Striving to be helpful when the individuals I work with don't need my help, just my support. It seems to be human nature to want to step in and offer assistance to someone who appears to be struggling with a tasks and we shouldn't feel bad about wanting to help. Taking the time to ask if assistance is needed rather than just jumping in and doing it. When Matthew talked about being asked multiple times, and denying assistance, I can understand how a person would feel disrespected. We need to remember to respect the wishes of the individuals we serve and to not accidently deny the independence that they have strived for.

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Matthew Hall video homework - Marsha Longmeier

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Matthew Hall video homework - Marsha Longmeier

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While watching this video, it reminded me of a time when a close friend had to have brain surgery and was recovering. At the time, there was a lot he needed to relearn and I was there to "help" him but I didn't realized that I also wasn't letting him regain the skills he needed to on his own (of course I learned that later on). It was definitely my intention to just be helpful - you see someone that needs help, my first gut reaction is to go do, go help - but, I now know that I need to pause before instinct and at least ask first. This can relate to anyone with disabilities. In my mind I'm trying to help, but I just need to be aware that the person may need to do something on their own or WANT to do something on their own.

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My response to Matthew's video sparked reflection on perceptions of disability in dominant discourse and culture and how these perceptions influence how folks experience and engage with individuals with disabilities.  Matthew expressed  the bartenders' assumptions of his needs for his body; the assumption that they know his body better than Matthew. I found the video a reminder of how the stories we are exposed to create a script for how we experience individuals with disabilities. As a clinician working with individuals with mental illness in supported employment,  I reflected on the work ahead for "stigma busting" with employers and my clients themselves on their ability to flourish in the workforce.

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I think Matthew's story says less about the intent of the bartenders in wanting to help him and more about the boundaries they felt were acceptable to cross in that situation. Perhaps their intent in assuring Matthew had a safe ride home had nothing to do with his disability, but more to do with their own responsibility as bar employees and the policies and legality around safe-serving. For example, one time someone called the police on my dad because they thought he looked intoxicated while walking to his truck after leaving a local coffee shop, when in reality his altered gait was owing to the fact that he has a brain tumour. They were obviously unaware of this fact and since he has no other visible indicators of disability, when they called the police they were likely doing so out of pure concern for his safety and others. What they didn't do, was feel that they should approach him, invade his personal space and repeatedly insist that he accept a ride home from them despite the fact that they were total strangers. THAT I think is the difference in Matthew's story, as the bartenders seemed to have assumed that because he had a visible disability they had the right to insert themselves into his space and personal life in a way that would be unthought of for them to do for someone else whom they were concerned about their safety. This story really highlights the way people struggle to treat those with a disability the same way they would anyone else in the same situation.

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Matthew Hall Video Homework- Debra Gonzalez

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Matthew Hall Video Homework- Debra Gonzalez

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I understand what he's talking about people trying to be helpful because they see someone different then they are. I offer my assistance as much as I can when asked but I try to hold back until I can tell one of my guys is struggling. I don't want to be pushy and insist they take my help unless they actually need it.

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Matthew Hall Reflection

It is so easy for people to justify their belief for assisting others. Were the people in the video really thinking they were helping or trying to meet their own satisfaction. As Matthew stated, we need to be respectful to the person we are trying to help. I use a walker and having people open a door for me is frustrating. I pride myself in what I can do, and if I need support, I'll ask for it. Our role is to empower, not limit people.

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This video was very informative and important because it exposes a real-world issue that people with disabilities sometimes face. My biggest takeaway was, if this individual didn't have a visible disability, would he have been offered the same assistance? It was clear that he was not incapacitated and was capable of performing the task of walking home, but was bombarded with offers because he was viewed as less capable. This is an issue of inequality, even though it wasn't ill intentioned. We can all be guilty of this at times, whether it be in our communities or in our work. I personally have underestimated different individuals in different scenarios, and often have to work at being helpful in a genuine way, and not force help onto someone who doesn't want or need my assistance.

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I see this situations all too often like this and I'm sure when I first started my career I used to do things like this or very close to it. I can respect his frustration and can see a younger version of myself doing everything that the bartenders were doing (I'm embarrassed to admit this). As I have grown and matured, not only as a person but in my career, I find myself asking if it's something that this individual REALLY requires help with or is this something I can support them in to do for themselves.

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Reflecting on the video regarding Matthew Hall it makes me stop and think about myself. I like to help people and like Matthew said, being overly helpful can come off not the way you intend it to. When he was asked multiple times about needing a ride and him repeatedly telling them no, it would be frustrating for anyone in his situation. I think back to times I may have said are you sure you don’t need my help and I can see how my good intentions maybe came off wrong. I think it is important to put yourself in his shoes as well and think about how you would feel if someone was not listening to your wishes. Our individuals have their own voice and it is important to listen to them and hear what they are saying. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

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It's weird to me anyone would aggressively pursue offering "help" to the extent he described. Maybe the bartenders had recently dealt with another situation where someone got seriously injured which led to them overcompensating?

Reminded me of one of my college classmates who was born without legs. Kevin talked about assumptions people would make wherever he went, whether at the local grocery store or at a pub in Australia. People would assume he was a beggar or war veteran and try to give him money or pick him up to put him on the bus. I guess hearing his stories helped me gain a different perspective even before I started working in this field. I've included a link to his website and recommend checking out the sizzle reel for his show "Armed & Ready".

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My name is Kevin. Most people know me as the legless dude who rolled around the world on a skateboard and took photos of people staring at him. True - but that's not the full story.

On the left you'll see projects ranging from books, to TV shows and photo collections. Regardless of the medium or message - the theme is always the same. To challenge the way we look at ourselves and each other.

In addition to my personal projects, I work as a writer and graphic designer based in Helena, Montana.

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My name is Kevin. Most people know me as the legless dude who rolled around the world on a skateboard and took photos of people staring at him. True - but that's not the full story. On the left you'll see projects ranging from books, to TV shows and photo collections.

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My reflection on Matthew's story really made me think about why the employees did what they did, and how they should have treated Matthew. I grew up knowing if you saw someone in need you help them out. The employees saw Matthew as a person who needed help, but that didn't mean they should have been so pushy. The employees should have respected Matthew's choice to deny their help the first time Matthew said no.

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Matthew Hall Video Reflection - Sean Niland

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Matthew Hall Video Reflection - Sean Niland

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Matthew's video reminds me of the sort of "give and take" philosophy we all experience in life.  That philosophy roughly being that in order for something to be given, it has to be taken and vice versa.  Matthew presents a scenario where that necessary trade-off did not occur.  In this instance, "assistance" was offered but not taken; resulting in a misalignment of feelings and an uncomfortable event.

A primary take away is that you cannot foist help onto someone who does not want to receive it.  This very awkward, and negative episode may not have occurred if the bartenders had employed some person-first reasoning.  Was this a situation in which the bartenders were distracted by Matthew's disability and therefore could not correctly infer the autonomy of his person?  That seems likely.  We should all be careful to translate our intentions carefully and to, in return, interpret others' fully.

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HW #1: Matthew Hall Video Response - Chris Pickering

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HW #1: Matthew Hall Video Response - Chris Pickering

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My initial reaction to this video is mixed. I agree with Matthew that the bartenders were too aggressive. However, I am not convinced it was about them being selfish. I imagine they were genuinely worried about him and just wanted to help. Hopefully, this situation isn't common for Matthew. Overall, the point is clear: we need to be cognizant with everybody with respect to offering help and taking no for an answer.

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Watching the video by Matthew Hall provided me with a lot of insight into my own actions as well as the affect it may have on others. As a special education teacher, I am aware of how intrusive certain behaviors can be viewed, but as a human, I also desire to help. There can be a fine line between compassion and intrusion and it’s important not to assume. As Matthew stated in his video, he was aware that the bartenders were coming from a place of concern, although it was unwarranted in this situation. In the end Matthew was upset and his voice wasn’t being heard.

I was taught as a child to be helpful and to assist whenever I can. If you see something say or do something is what I was told. Thinking back, I understand the desire, but we must ask ourselves those hard questions 1. Who is benefiting from my assistance?  2. Is this warranted? 3. Have I overstepped a boundary?

A takeaway from this video is not to impose my lack of knowledge on a situation onto anyone else and take myself out of the equation and evaluate if I am even needed.

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I found Matthew Hall's interpretation of it all to be helpful insight and also pretty generously gracious overall. My wondering as I watch is for the bartenders, after being told no once or twice, continuing to ask to help in some ways is assuming that they have more knowledge of what someone needs than the person communicating. I found myself reflecting on what implicit ways I communicate where I can assume I know better than someone I am supporting or that I can even be assuming someone knows better who is supporting me. It's helpful to consider how to honor and create intention in creating space for autonomy for anyone I come into contact with in my life. It's helpful to understand how power dynamics can create an environment where certain folks of certain identities can be seen as the people who "know best"

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I think as Matt said, most people's intentions are good. But listening to Matt describe his experience, I think about my own experiences as a person with a disability. I have a digestive disability where my food doesn't digest so I had to be on feeding tubes at one point. At first, I wouldn't go to restaurants with family and friends but then as I became more comfortable with my tubes, I did start to eat out again. But I had one server who was overconcerned about why I wasn't eating. I was offended at first but then realized she was just trying to do her job, so I explained to her why I had a tube. She was genuinely interested and supportive.

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This video helps to reinforce the idea that we should be asking folks first if they want our help and then actually listening to their responses. As Hall points out in the video, many can see that the bartenders were well intentioned. What I found important in Hall’s own reflection is that oftentimes, able-bodied people are trying to prove their goodness by asserting their ideas of what others need. Able-bodied people are attempting to be good but lack the consideration that they are speaking with a human being who has their own autonomy and dignity. If someone is clearly advocating for themself and their abilities, you have to trust that they know their limits better than you do.

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Matthew Hall Video Reflection - Connie McRoberts

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Matthew Hall Video Reflection - Connie McRoberts

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Matthew handled himself with such grace telling people that he did not need a ride and that he was fine. It appears that he understood that they had the best intent in offering help. When they continued to ask Matthew if he needed a ride and rolled up in a vehicle, was humiliating and denied him of his autonomy and humanity. It is human nature to want to help others, but we also need to be mindful of others and "hear" them the first time. Matthew said it perfectly, "How do I/we offer respect, dignity, and autonomy?"

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The first thing that stood out to me about Matthew's story is that the bartenders kept referring to him as "bud" and were trying to connect with him but never even asked him what his name is. To me, this really relates to the conversation around identity and how people want to identify as person-first or identity-first. The bartenders did not seem able to transition their thoughts around how Matt is an individual and maybe does not want to be defined by his Cerebral Palsy. The bartenders were trying to be helpful but were not accepting or aware to Matt's abilities. Matt mentioned to them that he enjoys to walk - and I feel like that should have been an indication that he does not need that help.

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This is a very helpful reminder not to impose my own need to "help" or "fix" a situation onto someone else. It is more important to connect with a person and listen to their feelings, than to offer a solution.

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Martha Rosales:
While the bartenders acted out of kindness and concern. Their persistent actions became disrespectful. Matthew assured them he was fine and did not need a ride. However, they seemed to have decided that he needed assistance and disregarded his response. I wonder if they would have been as insistent with an intoxicated individual who actually needed assistance?

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While watching the Matthew Hall video and listening to the story multiple times, I noticed several things
-Matthew describing his disability Cereal palsy vs. how we see Matthew.
In Matthew's everyday life, and how he defines his normal life- he will wobble a bit when he walks to when he drinks it becomes more apparent. How others would see Matthew is that he more intoxicated.
- language of the bar tender 1- "hey bud are you okay", "do you need a ride home" vs. what Matthew wanted/said. Matthew through the night said he was fine and at the end of the night, he didnt want a ride home because he likes to wall. While it was with good intentions that they wanted to help, it seemed that it pushy.
- language of the other bartender- Hey bud, what is your name, what kind of the music do you listen to. Do you need a ride home? are you sure- i felt the artenderwas trying to connect and get personal with Matthew however when the topic of a ride came up again, the bartender was questioning Matthew's request. After some

It feels like in today's day and age, we tend to make assumptions about people but the assumptions rise up when we see someone with a disability. Rather than making assumptions and assuming that a person with a disability needs help, ask first. If the person with the disability says no, just leave it at that. or take the opportunity to connect and see if there is something in common you may like. Like Matthew said in the video ask yourself " is what you are doing helpful", "does that perosn need or want the help", " are you doing this to show to the world you are not a person".
"How can I treat this person with the respect, dignity and autonomeny that I would anybody else"- If I met Matthew, and that opportunity to answer that question- it would be by being a friend and see what links us in common. For example, a friend from high school that I still am good friends with today, we connect through our love of media- Whether it is through Dancing with the Stars, Country Music( we have gone to a few concerts already) to various TV Shows.

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Reflecting on this video has made me think about times where I have had to advocate for my client; Meaning when I am out Job Coaching, my clients or myself have been approached at work with people asking, “Can you even do this?” referring to their community jobs. Not only do people offer extra assistance but they also assume the “Can’t” potion of any task when visually noticing someone has disabilities. I feel like most people outside of this field work don’t understand the different learning strategies that can be taught to better assist others. These videos are important in our leaning experience because it gives better insight into how we can better support others with disabilities or other barriers to employment and daily life skills. I truly believe that the employees at the bar were not intending to be disrespectful; definitely a learning experience on how we see others and how we should treat each other.

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After watching this I can see both perspectives in this video. When I first got into this field I would do everything and anything for the members because I thought this is what I was hired to do. I  never thought to ask if they can do anything, I just assumed they couldn't. Matthew was not respected and judged by the bartenders based on his appearance. Matthew obviously didn't need any help and he expressed this multiple times. If Matthew was a neurotypical, would they have done the same thing? Like most people who are new or doesn't have a lot if interaction with individuals with disabilities, we think we're helping when were not.

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My initial reaction to this video was... shock. Those bartenders were seriously overstepping and their good intentions turned into harassment. This video is a good reminder that we all need to take a step back and think before we act. Asking the right questions is a valuable skill to hone in the moment.

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As I was watching the short film, I immediately thought that they thought he was too intoxicated to walk home because of his comment about how people interact with him when he drinks. I never thought to consider it was them trying to be helpful or even pity him because of his disability. Prior to working with people with disabilities and extending my knowledge about disabilities, I would have offered the same way. I don't think what the bartenders did was wrong initially, but when they insisted is when I believe they went wrong. This is where I felt they were questioning his capabilities of walking home on his own because they did not leave it alone after he turned down the offer the first time. It is one thing to offer a ride, another to consistently ask after the offer has been turned down. This story was a reminder to me and everyone else that we need to respect all individuals space and boundaries without questioning their capabilities.

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After viewing Matthew’s story, I can see how the repeated wanting to help from strangers/good Samaritans could be annoying and unwanted.  Most people innately want to help others they perceive are in need.  Asking someone once or twice if they need assistance is enough. They failed to assess the situation correctly.  When I first started in this field, I felt the need to help everyone. I soon realized that they are people and if they want or need assistance they will ask.

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The thing that really stands out to me about this story is not so much the help that was offered by the bar employees, but the underlying implications of their inability to take "no" for an answer from Matthew. By not hearing and accepting his refusal of their help after the very first time they offered, they were sending the message that they did not believe him to be capable of making decisions for himself, and certainly not capable of making the "correct" decision for himself. This is an example of the way that folks with disabilities are often infantilized, or treated as children who can not possibly know what is best for themselves. The infantilization of people with disabilities is so ubiquitous in our society, so much so that it is probably something that many of us do not even notice at times. It is so important for those of us who work alongside individuals with disabilities to recognize that we have been socialized in a society that views people with disabilities in this way so that we can do our own internal work of trying to "un-learn" these ways of viewing people. It is so easy to send these messages implicitly through our actions if we do not try to "un-learn" the messages - messages that until we have these discussions we may not even recognize that we have internalized or that we are subtly sending to the people around us. And this goes not only for folks with physical disabilities, but for folks with intellectual and developmental disabilities as well. Just because someone has a  diagnosis that impacts their life in certain ways does not mean that we can overlook their own self-knowledge and the fact that they are the #1 expert on their own needs and experiences.

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Reflecting on the video, people with disabilities tend to face many more challenges than one may be aware of. I think people assume that if one has a disability they require assistance, whereas not all with disabilities need assistance. I think it’s important to note that people with disabilities want to feel as independent as possible, however sometimes they do need help as well. I do my best to ensure the people I serve are working towards independence and will provide support as needed when needed. Our society however can sometimes be cruel and not everyone is willing to be as helpful or open-minded. Not all individuals take to help so kindly, that sometimes they want to show they are capable of handling things on their own. Growing up I was told to be kind to others, and treat those how you wish to be treated. I can offer my opinion, or offer help, but not everyone is going to be willing to take it. I believe the bartenders shouldn’t of continued to push their help onto Matt if his answer was no, the more you push the more push back your going to receive.

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I really found this video Matthew has made extremely valuable. I never took the time to actually think about how someone with a disability may feel when I've asked them if they need help. I assumed that this is a positive approach, but after hearing from Matthew I understand that most of the time it is me trying to appease myself. I think I am being helpful of course because I feel I am being kind, but really not taking into consideration the persons feeling. Now seeing it from a different perspective I will do my best to change my approach.

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This is one of my main frustrations in this field.  As Matthew mentions, the pre-emptive offer to help is almost always done with the best of intentions.  That does not mean that it is helpful, appreciated or correct.

I think one way to help some folks without a disability understand this a bit more would be to ask a short person if they always want to be asked if they need help reaching something from a tall shelf, asking an overweight person if they need help getting something across the room, etc.  While the offer to help may be appreciated; the short person may have a stool, the overweight person may want to 'get those steps in'.

Assuming that people need unprompted assistance can often be viewed as condescending to those being asked and can often set up a scenario where those 'supports' may become expected and relied upon - even if they weren't before.

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This really has me thinking about the many reasons we as humans offer help to others. I cannot begin to imagine the reasons why the bartenders in this scenario were so unrelenting in their offers of help to Matthew. What I can start to mull over, however, are my own reasons for offering to help both to strangers and to people I know well. The next time I am tempted to offer someone help in a non-emergency situation, I will take an extra moment to pause and consider why I am offering, and to wonder how my offer of help will make the person feel. In any case, anyone who offers help should always listen to and heed the person’s answer.

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The Matt Hall video served as a reminder to me to not impose on anyone's needs, always be kind, offer assistance but do not be pushy, however I can relate to both sides because I'm someone who always wants to make sure everyone gets home safely.

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Matt Fox Reflection to Matthew Hall Video: 

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Matt Fox Reflection to Matthew Hall Video: 

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Matthew made a statement "I think that its easy for us to imagine their intent was well placed" in regard to the individuals that he was interacting with. Although they communicated, the communication was not very effective. I also think that there was an opportunity here to be more observant of the situation. Bartenders and restaurant staff are trained to look out for signs of inebriation and can be held liable by law for accidents that may occur once a patron leaves their establishment. It seems that they came to a conclusion without investigating what was really going on. This is a complex issue but I think honesty is the best policy here and making your intentions known is the more respectful way to go about your business.

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Mathew Hall Homework                      Karrie Dorothy

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Mathew Hall Homework                      Karrie Dorothy

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I've seen this situation many times .I can only imagine how frustrating this would be on a daily basis . This story reminded me of this one particular day years ago . I was going to the SS department and I had seen a man lying on the ground IN front of the building . He had no legs and there was a chair next to him . It was upsetting as people just walked by not even asking him if he needed help. I had walked up to him and said Sir can I help you back up on your chair . He said yes . If he had said no I want to do this on my own I would have let him . After watching this video made me want to be an advocate for all my clients !

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Osvaldo Cervantes

What should have been an enjoyable evening out for dinner was marred by others good intentions and inability to truly listen to an individuals wishes.  The old adage applies here, We should not judge a book by its cover.  Listen, learn and respect. We cannot hamper independence or stifle one's personal growth because of our own lack of knowledge and or experience with individuals of different abilities.

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Unfortunately, this is one of those issues that anyone with any connection to this population is aware of. Although the intention(s) of the bartenders was good, it was a very frustrating situation for Matthew. From the perspective of the bartenders, they were only trying to do everything in their power to help their customer and ensure him getting home safely. From Matthew's perspective, they just assumed that he was incapable (which I'm sure is something that he encounters more often than he should have to).

This is something that many more people could benefit from having knowledge of. Assuming capability could have gone a long way in this situation. Educating more people on this and how to help in ways that are beneficial to everyone could go a long way.

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This video about Matthew's experience really made me think.  When I am out in my community I offer to help when I see a fellow community member struggling whether it be someone in a wheelchair struggling to reach an item at a store or even a client who is struggling to open a trash bag.  It is important to step back, assess the person, their abilities and think "do they really need assistance"?  I believe EVERYONE struggles with certain things every day. A person with a disability can also problem solve, and others need to give them the opportunity to-do so before taking action. This video showed the difference between wanting and needing assistance which is very important for all of us to remember and respect in order for our clients to be successful.

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When watching the video i agree with Matt that they had no ill intent in wanting to help. and when looking back on my life I feel like i tried and force myself in and try to help people I think needs help when in all reality they don't. I think its important to know when someone says they don't need help to try and let them ask for help when they need it in whatever way to communicate.

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Deborah Snow
all your life your brought up to help others in need. But who determines that need?  all to often , what one person sees as a need to help is actually a dismissal of ones independence and ability. I see this too often in my class. People come in, visitors and workers alike and assume that my students need help to perform a task. I get students who have prompt dependence because they have never been expected to do anything on their own. Everyone is in a rush and wants things to be done right away or THEIR way, therefore taking away the persons independence and right to make their own decisions.
I am constantly reminding people to stay out of another's face and space . Let people act on their own. If they want help they will ask for it.

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I think everyone's intensions were good, but they weren't taking the time to actually listen. It's so important to ask first if someone actually wants or needs help. Automatically assuming that someone "can't" do something is disrespectful to that person.

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I really think the bartenders in the establishment really just meant to be helpful. It seems to me that they took their helpfulness a little to far. It's really hard for people who don't know about people with diverse abilities to know what to do or how to help individuals that to them are different.

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Video was a great reminder that everyone's needs and assistance levels are different. Listening and respecting an individuals boundaries are important.

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I am new to interacting with people with disabilities. Because of this I see both sides. Clearly the bar-tenders just wanted to help and did what they thought to be correct. I probably wouldn't have kept asking over and over, but I can't say my actions would have been a lot different six months ago. I think that it is important that we recognize that this is a common issue and people just do not know how to communicate well with those with disabilities. I think there is a chance for effective change through education. Not for those with disabilities, education for those without disabilities. They are just as much of an equal part of the community as anyone else. If we all use our knowledge here from work, and can be "ambassadors" if you will, we can help educate those.

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Reflecting on this video, there a lot of things that I resonate with, on both sides of the conversation. I think one of the factors that certainly made communication more difficult was the setting. It was definitely pushy to continue to bring up transportation and its fair for Mathew to feel the way he did, but understanding the average customer and average intoxicated individual at a place like that is also valuable context. Additionally, the lack of time in between asking Matt if he needed help was something that was definitely too short. When asking yourself, would I help anyone else in a similar situation with the same level of intensity, it is apparent that not enough time was given by the staff to respect and acknowledge the choice that was made by Matt.
If I was the bartender and thinking back on the interaction, I would have realized that my behavior was not one that communicated wanting to understand and learn from Matt. Part of offering assistance in any situation is understanding that person you are speaking to may in fact decline your assistance, and that ignoring that(especially when the person in question experiences a disability) displays a lack of respect towards the person.

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I think trying to be helpful is okay but just because someone shows a visible disability no one should look at them or treat them as a disability but rather just a person and not always assume that person needs help/assistance from others because they want to be like you and me and show their independence.

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Leroy Wu:
This video is a great reminder of how self-centered we as people are, and before we do things or express our opinions, we should listen more. I'm sure the workers at the bar were just being nice and considerate (so they thought), but in reality they're annoying Matthew and making him uncomfortable. Good intension by itself is not enough, it has to be accompanied by awareness and willingness to listen and learn.

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As I reflect on Matthew's perspective on the bar tenders intentions - I find it beneficial to learn is perspective. I'm not sure that the employees were aware that there actions could be considered patronizing. I find that when you know better, you do better. This may have been the opportunity they felt to show support and care towards another individual. But it was based on an assumption. It is a similar concept with offering money to a homeless person who had not asked for it and they become offended at the offer. The individual offering to help that person financially, assessed the person and maybe the appearance of their cleanliness and assumed they needed help. You don't know until you take the time to ask. Stories like Matthew's are necessary in broadening the understanding of one another as well as providing each person with equity and respect.

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Mathew's video seemed to really reinforce the idea that we should be asking the people we work with if they want our help and then them walk us through their comfortability. As Hall points out in the video, you can obviously see that the bartenders were well intentioned. I just believe the way they asked wasn't effective in enabling an individual to feel independent. This makes me reflect on my own daily encounters and if I'm properly helping an individual for me or them in a given situation.

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I was raised that you treat others the way you want to be treated. I as a little girl, my dad help run John Harold’s group home of 8 mentally and physically challenged men in Olathe,Co I grew attached. Respect, Dignity, Honor, independence, and quality of life is what we all deserve. Don’t be so quick to respond or judge. Equality is very important.

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Sadly I see this quite often, especially with new providers that are just coming in to the job. They often coddle, rather than enable our individuals. It's important to really listen to what the individual is saying, and provide supports for them, and commit to learning, rather than assuming, and confirming our biases.

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This video made me think of all the ableist interactions that people with disabilities are faced with on a regular basis. On the surface, these two bartenders were trying to be helpful, but they were (repeatedly) ignoring his answer that he did NOT need a ride home. Their consistent questioning is indicative of their internal bias that he was incapable of giving them an accurate answer. Even well-meaning interactions like this can be exhausting and belittling. As able-bodied, non-disabled people, we need to be cognizant of how our attempts to help others is actually being perceived, because intention does not negate the impact of our actions.