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Nodes. Vocal nodes. That was what the doctor had diagnosed him with when just weeks away from his auditions his throat ached and his voice hoarsed and the sound just refused to come out the way he wanted it to. Needed it to really. Jongdae was terrified. The accumulation of his life was ahead of him and it looked like this obstacle would tear everything down for him. Here began his steep and sudden descent into devastation. Forced not to do what he'd spent his whole life doing and eventually hospitalized for the removal of his nodes, Jongdae faced internal struggle deeply. His anxieties as he realized he wouldn't be able to achieve all he had planned swallowed him whole. He withdrew. He lost hope. He gave up.

So evidently the first thing he did once he was released from the hospital was not pick himself back up and try again. Having difficulty readjusting to a life that was once his, Jongdae recoiled from his closest friends and found himself floating on the outskirts of society. This was where he met his stairway to hell. In form of a social outsider much like himself at the time, he met his first lover. Perplexing and toxic and all the same enchanting, his first boyfriend lead him easily into a scene of partying and drinking. He liked the way he numbed from the music blasting through his body and the alcohol shooting through his veins. Jongdae found himself caught in a noxious environment with a manipulative lover. One who played him like cards and discarded him quickly thereafter. Sinking past rock bottom, Jongdae only immersed himself deeper into his unhealthy lifestyle. At this point he was popping ecstasy at least three times a week and spent more of his time hungover and drunk than he did sober.

Which was when he was picked up by a certain savior of his life.

And guided to the light again by that said certain savior, Jongdae now lives (almost) as normally as he did before his life became a hot mess. He still wrestles with a phobia of singing he'd developed since being hospitalized, struggling to breathe in the fear of his voice not coming out as it should, like before. But he's working on it. And he has a figure of unending support to aid him.

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Born September 21, 1992, nothing in Kim Jongdae's life has ever really been out of the average. He grew up in a loving family composed of his mother and father and and horribly annoying but maybe endearing older brother.

And as any person did, he had big dreams during his childhood. He was gonna be an astronaut. He was gonna be the President. He was gonna be a singer. Of course these are all childhoods follies and like every other average person he dropped these dreams as he reached his teens.

Except singing. Possessing a quite naturally gifted voice his dream of singing professionally only grew. Fueled by his family's support he took up vocal lessons to better himself and immersed himself throughout high school into the art. There was nothing he wanted more than to live a life doing what he loved. And the path ahead of him looked to be just that. He was to join a well-known musical post-secondary school majoring in Voice Performance. He just needed to get past the auditions.

Which was when his downward spiral started.

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▪GMT -7
▪I'm a little rusty and a little bit slow please forgive me!
▪Primarily Third Person
▪Sometimes I'm just a lazy piece of sht so give me a few pokes and maybe I'll feel guilty enough to respond?

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1° You walked into the private study room thinking it was empty. Only to be faced with me shoving a giant cupcake in my mouth in one bite. Silence and stare down ensues.
2° Group projects are a fucking pain in the ass. Everyone's an asshole. Except you. You're the only pleasant one.
3° I'm sorry I'm wary about getting to know you. My friend heard from another friend who heard from another friend, that you're bad news.
4° I ask if I can borrow a pen from you every class. And I haven't returned the last one from 3 weeks.
5° I should have been more subtle. I'm sorry you noticed me taking pictures of you. It's just my friend has a crush on you.
6° We went to high school together and didn't talk that much but we're taking a course together coincidentally and it's horribly hard to make friends in University.
7° I have your number saved because you sold me a textbook and I drunk texted you accidentally. Multiple times.
8° You fell asleep on the bus. I passed my stop like five stops ago but I've been sitting here watching you nearly fall every five minutes and wondering if I should wake you. Shit it's the last stop now.
9° I haven't taken Mandu out on a walk in forever. We just got out of the apartment building-... Aaaand now he has left muddy paw prints all over your white pants.
10° You've deemed that, as your gay best friend, I am not gay enough. A trip to the mall is in order for me to prove my "gay-ness".
11° So you're the owner of the cat I see and pet for a good 15 minutes every time I go to the playground.
12° Hey, aren't you my brother'so girlfrie- oh. You broke up. Two months ago... okay... awkward... It's alright you were too good for him anyways.
13° I've been watching the videos you're watching over your shoulder on the bus for the past half and hour. Very subtly. Okay maybe that last laugh was a little too loud to be subtle.
14°

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☆ ENFP
Qualities;▪Sociable
▪Cheerful
▪Whiny
▪Cynical
▪Snarky
▪Sarcastic
▪Always hungry
▪Easily swayed
▪Knows no fear (except bugs. Fuck bugs).
▪Prone to excessive swearing that he's trying to fix
▪Is actually a cat person
▪Grossly in love with his boyfriend. I guarantee you will be rolling your eyes.

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Mandu;

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Name; Kim Jongdae
Age; 24
Occupation;
▪Student at Toshi Uni, majoring in Music Education.
▪Part-time Radio DJ.
Residence; King Street Apartments.
Status; In a Relationship for 2 years.
Hobbies;
▪Casual photography.
▪Cuddling with our baby Mandu.
▪Eating. Everything.